So the limbic system, which is the most primitive part of the brain, is the strongest part of the brain. It is your emotional part of the brain right so, like he talks about how you can’t always believe what’s coming out of somebody’s mouth or their facial expressions, because, like they’re, actually not a good indicator. You have to look at other cues on their body, which I’ll talk about in a second, and like for me like this book is kind of sold to people like you know, when you’re talking to your boss, you’re talking to A customer or you’re, talking to a client, we’re talking to a loved one or talking to your kids, but like for me. I’m like bad. This could help with social anxiety. You know what I mean so understanding these things. So what are the great things that I want to make some dedicated videos to? This is one of the first things it does. It talks about pacifying, behavior, okay, these are things that we do, unconsciously, that calm us down. Okay, so some people might rub the skin right below their neck or they might rub their neck like this because these are filled with a lot of nerves and it releases calming neurotransmitters in your body, so it calms you down it soothes, you, okay, so I want to make some more videos on that because if you’re somebody who just gets anxious or stressed there are some points on your body that you can touch that calm you down, so you could do it more deliberately. So this next chapter Armand, he talks in an earlier chapter about like what do you think the most telling part of the body is and a lot of people would say face and things like that. But if that was the truth, then why would a poker face even be a thing, so the feet are the best indicator for this, and this is something I’ve heard a very long time ago and it’s something that I noticed. I even notice myself doing it so just some quick examples: if somebody has their feet turned towards the door or an exit. This means that they’re either uncomfortable or they’re in our curry, or they want to leave okay because that’s just our natural fight-or-flight instincts. Okay, so like when, when we get in these situations like our feet, they’re prepared to do something. Okay, then it also talks about how having a wider stance is more confrontational. So we discuss how to kind of diffuse a situation to make sure that your legs are together, because even on that unconscious level, if you, if you have a wider stance – and you’re, like kind of in a heated argument with somebody, they’re, Getting more prepared to attack back right, even if it’s verbally, okay, so it also talks about other things about how, when you cross your legs, you feel comfortable, and the reason this is is is because the brain is not preparing you to leave. So when you cross your legs, you’re actually off balance. So if somebody’s crossing their legs near you, whether it’s, you know one leg over the other and in their lap or if it’s just crossing their ankles. Okay, because our center of gravity changes, so this means they’re very comfortable, so their brains not telling them hey, you might need to get out of this situation so like I find this very, very useful when like having conversations with other people noticing what their Hands are doing their arms are doing like there’s, one part where it talks about if somebody’s cupping their elbow. This is also something that means that they’re uncomfortable. If they move their hand, this means that they’re starting to relax. So there are a lot of great tips in here, and I hope that some of you read it the more you understand about the brain and what we do, the more you will improve your mental health. One of the reasons my mental health is so much better. These days are because I hate myself for this. I’m gon na link a video up in the info card about something called the brain mechanic. Okay, the more you understand about your brain, the better you’ll be able to handle a variety of different situations, whether it’s, anxiety, depression, and things like that. But I like this book because it’s how to tell if other people are uncomfortable or confrontational and all that kind of good stuff. So if you want to join me on this journey and read this book, I’m gon na put a link down in the description below that’s an affiliate link. So if you’re interested in it go ahead and buy it from Amazon, it doesn’t cost you anything and it helps support the channel. But I would love for you to read this book check it out and tell me your thoughts on it and then maybe I’ll do a full book review after I’m done with it. Alright, anyways that’s – all I got for you today. So if you like this video, please give it a thumbs up, and if you are new here, I’m always making videos to help you out with your mental and emotional well being go ahead and click that little round subscribe button and a huge. Thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. I love you guys. Alright, you want to check out some more content on this channel. You can click or tap on one of those thumbnails. Alright thanks so much for watching, learn more about your brain today and I’ll see you.As found on YouTubeThe Destroy Depression ꆛ System-Cure Depression Naturally YOUR DEPRESSION HAS BEEN IN CONTROL LONG ENOUGH. It’s Time to Fight Back ☂🗯 “Depression Sufferer Of Over 20 Years Reveals His Simple 7-Step System That Gives You The Power To Destroy Your Depression, End Your Feelings Of Sadness And Hopelessness, And Get Your Life Back.” “This didn’t just change my life, it saved my life.“CAN THIS BOOK HELP WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY?
Social anxiety is absolutely brutal to live with, but can this unconventional book help you out with your social anxiety, stay tuned as we discuss what is up everybody. This is Chris from the rewired soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution today,’s problem is social anxiety and I haven’t done a book review in a long time. I’ve been kind of just not even really slacking. I’ve just been like picking up books and going through them and not finishing them all the way because they get kind of and all this other stuff. But I’m back and I’m gon na be doing some book. Reviews like the book reading are reignited in me, so, like this book is gon na surprise you, but first let me preface this by talking about my history with social anxiety like so many people who meet me, like they’re, so shocked when I tell them That I used to have social anxiety as I did. It was brutal. My brain was constantly going a million miles a minute. I was so concerned about what I was doing. What I was saying when I was thinking where you were looking at and all these other things I was trying to read you and I didn’t know if I was making you uncomfortable and all sorts of stuff like. I was always worried about saying something that might offend or make somebody uncomfortable like. I was just extremely socially awkward and it made me fumble over my words, even more, which made it even more awkward, and it was just terrible. It was so terrible and, like I just couldn’t talk to people unless there was somebody like that, I knew and if you’re socially anxious, you know exactly what I mean. So what I try to do when I read books, no matter what book it is like, I try to see what we can learn from it and most of the books. I do read our mental health books and this book has been on my list for a while, but I haven’t picked it up. Cuz it’s, not a mental health book. I’m, like you know, I bet this book might be able to help people who are socially anxious and it’s interesting because I don’t think a lot of people’s. Social anxiety would pick up this book if they saw it in a bookstore or on Audible or Amazon or Kindle or whatever it is they might not pick it up, but it’s good. So I’ll be honest with you. I’m only three chapters in I’m, like you, everybody who subscribed to my channel, who has social anxiety, needs to read this book. No, you asked me, Chris. What are you talking about? What book is it? Well, it is called what everybody is Saying by Joe Navarro alright, so I listen to all my books on Audible. I just listen while I’m driving to work or if I’m doing some like tedious tasks at work. I just have an audiobook playing and like so just to preface this book, so this guy Joe Navarro. He is an ex-FBI agent and it was one of the best the reason why it was one of the best is that he’s amazing. Reading body language, this book blends neuroscience with the science of body language, so that’s, something that sold me on this book. For those of you who’ve been around for a while, I’m, really into neuroscience understanding how the brain works helps with understanding how we behave and how we think, and the way we do things in our mental health and all that kind of Stuff, so here’s the thing when it comes to social anxiety. A lot of it is this concern that we don’t know what people are thinking, what’s going through their mind, but think about it for a second. If we could better understand a person,’s body language and what certain things meant, then we could know if, if this person’s enjoying the conversation, if they’re, trying to get out of this conversation, if they’re uncomfortable, if they’re Nervous, like we can read all these different things and that’s just absolutely amazing. So I’m just going to give a few little things that are in this book so far, but I’m only about three chapters in and I’m hustling through it because I joined the psych book club with some buddies. Who I play fortnight with and I was super excited when they told me they were reading this book about you. I need to get this book. I want to join your book club because not many of my friends read you know what I mean, so I’m glad that I get to like talk and discuss this stuff with other people besides you. I love you, but I need some more human interaction, so anyways the book kind of starts with, and it goes through kind of like a curriculum of what this book’s gon na be about, but throughout it like Joe Navarro. He kind of gives some examples of these different cases. He worked and things that he learned and all sorts of stuff and kind of like his childhood and why he became fascinated with understanding body language because he came from another country and didn’t speak English. So he had to learn how to read body language to know if people liked him or didn’t like him, and this kind of helped him out before he learned English. So then, like one of the first chapters, I think it’s, chapter 2. They start to talk about the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex, and things like that. So the limbic system, which is the most primitive part of the brain, is the strongest part of the brain. It is your emotional part of the brain right so, like he talks about how you can’t always believe what’s coming out of somebody’s mouth or their facial expressions, because, like they’re, actually not a good indicator. You have to look at other cues on their body, which I’ll talk about in a second, and like for me like this book is kind of sold to people like you know, when you’re talking to your boss, you’re talking to A customer or you’re, talking to a client, we’re talking to a loved one or talking to your kids, but like for me. I’m like bad. This could help with social anxiety. You know what I mean so understanding these things. So what are the great things that I want to make some dedicated videos to? This is one of the first things it does. It talks about pacifying, behavior, okay, these are things that we do, unconsciously, that calm us down. Okay, so some people might rub the skin right below their neck or they might rub their neck like this because these are filled with a lot of nerves and it releases calming neurotransmitters in your body, so it calms you down it soothes, you, okay, so I want to make some more videos on that because if you’re somebody who just gets anxious or stressed there are some points on your body that you can touch that calm you down, so you could do it more deliberately. So this next chapter Armand, he talks in an earlier chapter about like what do you think the most telling part of the body is and a lot of people would say face and things like that. But if that was the truth, then why would a poker face even be a thing, so the feet are the best indicator for this, and this is something I’ve heard a very long time ago and it’s something that I noticed. I even notice myself doing it so just some quick examples: if somebody has their feet turned towards the door or an exit. This means that they’re either uncomfortable or they’re in our curry, or they want to leave okay because that’s just our natural fight-or-flight instincts. Okay, so like when, when we get in these situations like our feet, they’re prepared to do something. Okay, then it also talks about how having a wider stance is more confrontational. So we discuss how to kind of diffuse a situation to make sure that your legs are together, because even on that unconscious level, if you, if you have a wider stance – and you’re, like kind of in a heated argument with somebody, they’re, Getting more prepared to attack back right, even if it’s verbally, okay, so it also talks about other things about how, when you cross your legs, you feel comfortable, and the reason this is is is because the brain is not preparing you to leave. So when you cross your legs, you’re actually off balance. So if somebody’s crossing their legs near you, whether it’s, you know one leg over the other and in their lap or if it’s just crossing their ankles. Okay, because our center of gravity changes, so this means they’re very comfortable, so their brains not telling them hey, you might need to get out of this situation so like I find this very, very useful when like having conversations with other people noticing what their Hands are doing their arms are doing like there’s, one part where it talks about if somebody’s cupping their elbow. This is also something that means that they’re uncomfortable. If they move their hand, this means that they’re starting to relax. So there are a lot of great tips in here, and I hope that some of you read it the more you understand about the brain and what we do, the more you will improve your mental health. One of the reasons my mental health is so much better. These days are because I hate myself for this. I’m gon na link a video up in the info card about something called the brain mechanic. Okay, the more you understand about your brain, the better you’ll be able to handle a variety of different situations, whether it’s, anxiety, depression, and things like that. But I like this book because it’s how to tell if other people are uncomfortable or confrontational and all that kind of good stuff. So if you want to join me on this journey and read this book, I’m gon na put a link down in the description below that’s an affiliate link. So if you’re interested in it go ahead and buy it from Amazon, it doesn’t cost you anything and it helps support the channel. But I would love for you to read this book check it out and tell me your thoughts on it and then maybe I’ll do a full book review after I’m done with it. Alright, anyways that’s – all I got for you today. So if you like this video, please give it a thumbs up, and if you are new here, I’m always making videos to help you out with your mental and emotional well being go ahead and click that little round subscribe button and a huge. Thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. I love you guys. Alright, you want to check out some more content on this channel. You can click or tap on one of those thumbnails. Alright thanks so much for watching, learn more about your brain today and I’ll see you.As found on YouTubeThe Destroy Depression ꆛ System-Cure Depression Naturally YOUR DEPRESSION HAS BEEN IN CONTROL LONG ENOUGH. It’s Time to Fight Back ☂🗯 “Depression Sufferer Of Over 20 Years Reveals His Simple 7-Step System That Gives You The Power To Destroy Your Depression, End Your Feelings Of Sadness And Hopelessness, And Get Your Life Back.” “This didn’t just change my life, it saved my life.“
So the limbic system, which is the most primitive part of the brain, is the strongest part of the brain. It is your emotional part of the brain right so, like he talks about how you can’t always believe what’s coming out of somebody’s mouth or their facial expressions, because, like they’re, actually not a good indicator. You have to look at other cues on their body, which I’ll talk about in a second, and like for me like this book is kind of sold to people like you know, when you’re talking to your boss, you’re talking to A customer or you’re, talking to a client, we’re talking to a loved one or talking to your kids, but like for me. I’m like bad. This could help with social anxiety. You know what I mean so understanding these things. So what are the great things that I want to make some dedicated videos to? This is one of the first things it does. It talks about pacifying, behavior, okay, these are things that we do, unconsciously, that calm us down. Okay, so some people might rub the skin right below their neck or they might rub their neck like this because these are filled with a lot of nerves and it releases calming neurotransmitters in your body, so it calms you down it soothes, you, okay, so I want to make some more videos on that because if you’re somebody who just gets anxious or stressed there are some points on your body that you can touch that calm you down, so you could do it more deliberately. So this next chapter Armand, he talks in an earlier chapter about like what do you think the most telling part of the body is and a lot of people would say face and things like that. But if that was the truth, then why would a poker face even be a thing, so the feet are the best indicator for this, and this is something I’ve heard a very long time ago and it’s something that I noticed. I even notice myself doing it so just some quick examples: if somebody has their feet turned towards the door or an exit. This means that they’re either uncomfortable or they’re in our curry, or they want to leave okay because that’s just our natural fight-or-flight instincts. Okay, so like when, when we get in these situations like our feet, they’re prepared to do something. Okay, then it also talks about how having a wider stance is more confrontational. So we discuss how to kind of diffuse a situation to make sure that your legs are together, because even on that unconscious level, if you, if you have a wider stance – and you’re, like kind of in a heated argument with somebody, they’re, Getting more prepared to attack back right, even if it’s verbally, okay, so it also talks about other things about how, when you cross your legs, you feel comfortable, and the reason this is is is because the brain is not preparing you to leave. So when you cross your legs, you’re actually off balance. So if somebody’s crossing their legs near you, whether it’s, you know one leg over the other and in their lap or if it’s just crossing their ankles. Okay, because our center of gravity changes, so this means they’re very comfortable, so their brains not telling them hey, you might need to get out of this situation so like I find this very, very useful when like having conversations with other people noticing what their Hands are doing their arms are doing like there’s, one part where it talks about if somebody’s cupping their elbow. This is also something that means that they’re uncomfortable. If they move their hand, this means that they’re starting to relax. So there are a lot of great tips in here, and I hope that some of you read it the more you understand about the brain and what we do, the more you will improve your mental health. One of the reasons my mental health is so much better. These days are because I hate myself for this. I’m gon na link a video up in the info card about something called the brain mechanic. Okay, the more you understand about your brain, the better you’ll be able to handle a variety of different situations, whether it’s, anxiety, depression, and things like that. But I like this book because it’s how to tell if other people are uncomfortable or confrontational and all that kind of good stuff. So if you want to join me on this journey and read this book, I’m gon na put a link down in the description below that’s an affiliate link. So if you’re interested in it go ahead and buy it from Amazon, it doesn’t cost you anything and it helps support the channel. But I would love for you to read this book check it out and tell me your thoughts on it and then maybe I’ll do a full book review after I’m done with it. Alright, anyways that’s – all I got for you today. So if you like this video, please give it a thumbs up, and if you are new here, I’m always making videos to help you out with your mental and emotional well being go ahead and click that little round subscribe button and a huge. Thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. I love you guys. Alright, you want to check out some more content on this channel. You can click or tap on one of those thumbnails. Alright thanks so much for watching, learn more about your brain today and I’ll see you.As found on YouTubeThe Destroy Depression ꆛ System-Cure Depression Naturally YOUR DEPRESSION HAS BEEN IN CONTROL LONG ENOUGH. It’s Time to Fight Back ☂🗯 “Depression Sufferer Of Over 20 Years Reveals His Simple 7-Step System That Gives You The Power To Destroy Your Depression, End Your Feelings Of Sadness And Hopelessness, And Get Your Life Back.” “This didn’t just change my life, it saved my life.“
If you will, I don’t keep them in the house, but I will allow myself occasionally to buy a small snack-size pack of M Ms, when I’m out or I will get a regular-size pack and I’ll share it with my daughter, so I’m not restricting it.I’m not saying I can never M. Ms again, I’m just not making it available to myself when I might have some unrestricted time, try to avoid buying a bunch of comfort foods and keeping them around the house, and when you’ve got kids when you’ve got family, it’s not entirely possible, usually to not have some of that stuff around but try to avoid having the things that you particularly used for comfort, because if it’s not readily available, then you’ve got to focus on guess what dealing with the emotions.Instead of stuffing them with food, try not to go too long without eating.Like I said earlier, if you go too long, then by the time you get to the food, your blood, Sugar,’s low and you’re just shoveling it as fast as you can initially distract.If you know that you’re getting you’re eating and you’re, like I’m – really not hungry, but I want to eat, take a bath, take a walk, call a friend, heaven forbid get on Facebook.Whatever it is, you can do to distract yourself for 10 or 15 minutes if, after 10 or 15 minutes, you’re still going, I want whatever it is, then you can decide what to do about it.Then, most of the time when people stop and go, I’m not hungry.Let me distract myself.They get caught up in that distraction and before they know it, they’ve forgotten about the craving, and identify the emotions.If you know that you’re not hungry, but you want to eat, then say: okay, what’s going on what’s going on with me? It doesn’t mean that the person is never going to eat when, when they’re upset, because a lot of people do, and is it the end of the world, probably not necessary if they can start reducing the frequency of times that they eat.In response to emotional distress that’s, what we want, we want to progress, not perfect if it’s, depression, what’s causing them to feel hopeless or helpless right now, if it’s, stress, anxiety, or anger, remember our big kind of lump together stuff. What are they stressing out about? Do they feel like they’re overwhelmed? Are they afraid of failure, rejection, and loss of control of the unknown? We’ve gone through those things.We want them to identify what’s going on with them, and then they can make better choices about how to deal with it.So general coping helps them develop, alternate ways of coping with distress.Distract we’ve, already kind of gone over that one.I encourage people – and you know it’s – one of those DBT things – that a lot of therapists encourage their clients to keep a list of things.They can do to distract themselves because it’s not always practical to get up and go on a walk.If you’re at work or it’s, you know two in the morning.So what else can you do to distract yourself? Talk it out with a friend with yourself with your dog? Sometimes you just got to get it out.People who are more auditory will prefer talking it out as opposed to journaling it now.If they talk it out with themselves, they can record it if they want to, or sometimes it’s just better to have a dialogue with themself. If it worked for Freud, it can work for other people journaling.If your clients are inclined to journal, encourage them to write it down.Sometimes just getting stuff out of your head and onto paper will help the feelings dissipate a little bit.So you’re not mulling them over and obsessing over them and getting stuck in those thoughts and feelings.Additionally, while you’re distracted talking it out or journaling, this is also your break.Your stop between the urge and the behavior make a pro and con list of the de-stress, not the eating whatever it is, that’s stressing you out and how can you fix it or what are the pros of this situation and what are the downsides To this situation, encourage them to focus on the positive.You know.If something stressing you out at work, you know you’ve got a big meeting coming up or something you don’t want to do or what it is.You can get stuck on focusing on that or you can focus on the positive that you do have a job.That meeting only comes around once a month. You can it’s time you don’t have to be doing paperwork whatever the pros are for that person encourage them to focus on the positive.If you’re distressed because of some kind of a failure or perceived failure, figure out what you learned from it, whether it was a relationship failure, or maybe you learned what not to do in a relationship anymore. Maybe you learned things that you may have ignored.Maybe you learned what you should have done instead, but how can it be a learning opportunity, instead of somewhere to stay stuck and finally, if something’s making you upset if something’s causing anxiety, depression, hopelessness, helplessness, whatever the negative feeling figure out.If it’s worth your energy to get stuck here, is it worth the turmoil? Is it worth you know having to pacify yourself with food or whatever? It is a lot of times people say you know what now it’s, just it’s, not even worth my effort.It’s not worth moving me away from my goals, because my goal is to stop emotional eating.My goal is to eat for hunger, so I can go to dinner with people and feel comfortable.I can be at a party where there’s a buffet and not feel stressed out that I’m going to go and eat half the stuff on the buffet that’s my goal so is holding on to whatever this de-stress is getting me Closer to being able to do those things and generally the answer:’s no develop alternate ways of coping with the stress the ABCs, the a is the activating event.What is stressing you out and what’s causing the de-stress C is the emotional reaction.Angry depressed stressed, whatever be: are your behaviors? What behaviors or B are your beliefs? Sorry, what are the beliefs that are in there that may need to be addressed? What kind of things are you telling yourself, and, and how can you counter them? Cognitively eliminate your vulnerabilities.You knew we couldn’t get through a presentation without talking about vulnerabilities. If someone is well-rested.Well, the fed has a good social support network, not stretch timewise.Then it will be easier to deal with stress or stressors when they come your way.You’ll have more energy to deal with it, so there won’t be this overwhelming feeling of I just want to bury my head in a jar of peanut butter, be compassionate with yourself.Some days, you know you’re, just going to feel anxious.You’re going to feel depressed.You’re going to get angry.You can beat yourself up over it and you know a lot of people do.Is that the best use of your energy or can you be compassionate? Can you learn from it? Can you give yourself a break and go? You know what I’m having a bad day today and that’s okay, I’m not going to unpack and stay here, but I’m not going to fight.It either helps clients learn how to urge surf help. They understand that, just like a panic attack just like a wave just like a lot of other things in life, it will come, it will crest and it will go out again, so they can sort of identify where they are on the energy of that Urge other tools people can use close the kitchen once I have the kitchen cleaned and you know all the dishes are done and it looks pretty.I hate going in there and finding dishes in the sink again now I’ve got teenagers, so we always have dishes in the sink.But before I had children, you know at seven o’clock.I finished all the dishes and closed the kitchen, and that would be enough motivation for me to not go in there and at least not use plates and stuff to eat.So if we’re saying that we’re going to only eat using utensils plates and sitting and all that stuff that we already talked about, then once you close the kitchen, you’re not going back in, there turn off the light.That also helps so you’re not being attracted to the pretty lights, and you know all the goodies that are in the kitchen to brush your teeth.This is something my grandmother used to do and it works.There’s some research behind it.Minty flavors reduce our appetite.So if you brush your teeth, you get all the other flavors out of your mouth and it reduces your urges to eat because it again it’s clean and fresh. And do you really want to brush your teeth again, and meditate, sometimes just getting in a space where you’re, not obsessing about anything, can help people get past that urge to self-soothe by eating a CT for emotional eating.What am I feeling or thinking about what’s going on with me right now? What is important to me? So if I am thinking I want to eat, I want to you know just dive into this jar of peanut butter, and then I think about what’s important to me.Is it important to me to get control of this? Is it important to me to you know, be able to fit into my clothes in six months or not? So what is it in? What way is controlling my eating habits and eliminating emotional eating important to me, and how does that get me closer to other things that are important to me, and what other things could I do? That would get me closer to my goals.So if the goal is to have improved relationships, be able to feel more comfortable around food reduce the stress around going out to eat, and just around food in general, what else can you do when you are stressed out? Somebody also suggested that adding a blue light in the refrigerator decreases the appeal of foods, which is interesting because yellow red and orange, and browns, I think Pizza Hut – are all foods that increase people’s, hunger and desire to eat.But blue is just a completely different primary color, and adding a blue hue seems like that would be effective, so cool thanks for that.Little tidbit there holiday help, and you know we’re coming into the holidays.So I’ve got to bring that up at every single glass and choose lower-calorie foods.If you tend to get stressed out or caught up or mindlessly eat when you are at family gatherings.Okay, you know cut yourself a break, know that that’s, probably going to happen, and fill up on the lower-calorie foods.The carrot sticks the broccoli, the white meat, turkey, anything that’s available, that’s, not like sweet potato pie or brownies, keep water or low-calorie beverage. In your hand, if you’ve got your hand full, you can’t eat at the same time.So you know if you walk around with a cup in your hand, it helps talk to people.Hopefully, you don’t talk with your mouth open or talk with food in your mouth.So if you’re talking to people, you’re not going to be as inclined to go and get something to eat because you’re wanting to stay engaged in that conversation.Stay away from the buffet, especially if you know that it could get stressful, or maybe you know for me, I turn into a pumpkin at like 7 30 at night.I get up at 4 00, but I turn into a pumpkin at 7, 30 and a lot of times holiday parties and those sorts of things are at eight, nine, o’clock at night, and you know I’ve already turned into a pumpkin.So I know that if I go to those I’m going to be more likely to eat just to kind of stay away because I’m tired and it’s a bad habit.It’s not because I’m hungry.So I know I need to stay away from the buffet during those times we rehearse refusal skills.If somebody says. Oh, you, I’ve got to try it by two.This figure out how you’re going to address that ahead of time, because there’s generally probably a lot of really good foods, and you may really want to taste some, but sometimes people who emotionally eat know if they start eating.If they start eating high-fat high calorie foods, they’re going to want to eat everything.So if I start with one bite of a brownie, I’m going to want to eat every suit that’s on the table.If they know that, then they may want to choose to not even go down that road at that juncture, encourage people to stay mindful of their distress meter before they go back for another helping and ask themselves, am I hungry? Am I just wanting to taste what’s here and how do I feel about that? Or am I eating just because I don’t want to be here and I’m bored and I want to fill the time? Have people keep an index card with their coping mantra and two reasons they don’t want to emotionally eat, so I need to be here.I can do this whatever the mantra is that’s going to get them through the night, whatever they’re.Telling themselves that it’s going to help them plow through and make the right choices, but also two reasons that they don’t want to eat, or they’re going to get around it.Maybe they’ve got something at home that they can eat when they get home eating before they go to.The party may also help prevent some grazing holidays, bringing out a lot of emotions in people.Some people struggle with depression, anxiety, jealousy, grief, and anger. You know the whole gamut during this time and during this time there’s food everywhere I mean starting at Halloween when your kids bring home the Halloween candy, which usually lasts about a week in our house baby.Oh, Halloween candy followed by getting ready for Thanksgiving, followed by doing all the baking or whatever you do, and the holiday parties coming up on the December holiday season.There’s just food everywhere, so it’s really easy to cope.If you will, with stress being overwhelmed with being tired by not eating enough healthy food by binging on unhealthy and soothing food if you will so it’s, encouraged it’s important to encourage people to stay.Mindful of why they’re eating what they’re eating, when constantly bombarded with high-fat high carbohydrate foods, people are tempted to eat to feel calm yeah.I challenge anybody to say that they’ve never eaten and go okay.You know I’m.Just focused on this right now I’m not thinking about everything out here and it feels good um.I’m good now, good, probably not the word I should use, but it does help people distract themselves sometimes when they eat, especially those high-intensity foods.You feel happier serotonins are released. Dopamine is released.You’re, like oh, that’s good.I want to do that again or you just feel numb.You can get into a zone where you’re just eating and not caring about it’s.Not that you’re feeling calm, you’re just not feeling anything, and a lot of times when people get into that zone.They’re not tasting the food either.They’re just kind of on autopilot for emotional eating, like most other escape behaviors.Never addresses the underlying emotions and their causes, so we need to look at them.Are you feeling anxious? Are you feeling jittery? Are you feeling depressed because your blood Sugar’s low, because you’re nutritionally deficient because you’re not getting enough sleep or because there’s something cognitive going on, or all of the above emotional eating, often results in physical issues like weight gain Poor sleep and reduced energy weight gain, are you know in and of itself a few pounds here and they’re not a big deal, but some people can start emotionally eating to feel better.They gained a lot of weight. Then they start feeling less energetic.It starts being harder to move around.They get to the point where they are clinically obese.Then they’re going.I’m never going to take all this weight off.They feel hopeless and helpless.You see where this is going, so they eat some more.Can cause poor sleep apnea, it’s hard to get it’s also hard to get comfortable.Sometimes, if you’ve eaten a whole bunch of food right before you go to bed, you know your bellies are all full, and little you wake up.The next morning and your belly are still awful, which means you probably didn’t, sleep very well the night before and emotional eating often results in reduced energy because the foods we binge on the foods we eat for self-soothing often end up causing a sugar Crash some people try to undo emotional eating by restricting other calories which can lead to nutritional deficits and more cravings. I had a girlfriend when I was in high school and you know think back to I don’t know if they still do it, but when we were in high school there was always some kind of candy sale going on and she would always forgo all Other food, so she could have two chocolate bars each day and you know we’re not going to get into the all the other issues surrounding only eating two chocolate bars.But the point I’m making it right now is the fact she wasn’t getting protein.She wasn’t getting it.You know most of her vitamins and minerals and stuff that her body needed to make the neurotransmitter.So she could feel happy and she was contributing to a sugar crash, but I also know that it’s common around the holidays for people to do this.They’ll let go all day without eating because they know they’re going to a party tonight and there’s going to be a lot of really good food doing that once in a while.Not a big deal doing that 10 or 15 times in a month could start to have problems.Emotional eaters need to first find a way to stop before they eat, so, whether it’s writing in a journal or adding.There are a lot of apps on your phone that you can put your food in, even if you’re, not writing about your emotions and your cravings and all that kind of stuff.Sometimes it’s enough to make people stop before they reach. For the food – or you know, kind of an extreme way to go is to not keep pre-processed or prepackaged foods in the house.So anything that you’re going to eat you’ve got to make second identify the underlying reason for your eating figure out.Do I generally eat in response to and then address the thoughts and emotions leading to the urges?So if you figure out the underlying emotions for your eating or your depression, then what thoughts are maintaining that depression? And how can you address it once you address the underlying issues, some of the emotional eating will go away, but some of its habits?We’re going to have to break that habit and, throughout you know, the past couple of decades of working with people.My experience has been the majority of the time people don’t want to hear.Well, once you deal with your emotional issues, the emotional eating will go away now.They’re there because they want to stop that behavior right now.So, yes, we need to work on all the underlying issues but give them a tip or a trick or a tool whatever you want to call it to use before they walk out of your office after every single session.That way, they have something else they can put in their toolbox and feel more empowered to have control over what’s going on with them. And what’s coming their way, having the knowledge of what and why is 80 of helping them get to the recovery point now, if there’s co-occurring or if the eating issues are more than just emotional eating, if there’s, the person meets The criteria for binge eating disorder, bulimia or anorexia.There are a lot of other underlying issues they’re going to have to be dealt with.So I don’t want to trivialize that, but I do want people to feel like they’ve got some hope over what’s going on.Are there any questions? If you enjoy this podcast, please like and subscribe either in your podcast player or on YouTube, you can attend and participate in our live webinars with doctor Snipes by subscribing at all CEUs comm slash counselor toolbox.This episode has been brought to you in part by all CEUs com providing 24 7 multimedia, continuing education, and pre-certification; training to counselors therapists, and nurses, since 2006 use coupon code consular toolbox to get a 20 discount off your order.This month,
Number four, you are
generally more sensitive to social cues. Are you very sensitive to how you come across to other people? Do you find yourself often uncomfortable with your social environment? Perhaps you find it challenging to eat in front of other people, or tend to avoid speaking in public because of an overwhelming fear that people will judge you negatively. According to Dr. John,
if your answers are yes to the above questions, it’s more likely that you
have anxiety rather than ADHD. This is because people
with ADHD usually struggle with understanding or missing social cues rather than being hypersensitive to them. Number five, you experience
a racing heart, clamminess, tense muscles, headaches,
nausea, or dizziness. Do you often experience
headaches, nausea, or dizziness? These are just some of
the symptoms of anxiety. Dr. John stated that anxiety comes from a tiny almond-shaped part at the back of your brain
called the amygdala.As a watchman for your brain, it is constantly watching out for danger. And whenever it detects danger, it triggers a fight or flight response. However, for anxious people, the amygdala is large and hypersensitive. Because of this, it ends up sending out
a lot of false alarms. You can think of it as a watchman
who cries wolf too often. As a result, your brain may sense threats even in non-threatening situations. And number six, you are unlikely
to show problem behaviors when you’re feeling calm, safe,
and doing things you enjoy.How do you act when you’re having fun? Whether it’s listening
to your favorite music or playing video games, you
may find yourself feeling calm and safe while doing the things
that you genuinely enjoy. You are neither restless nor feel like you need
to catch your breath. According to Dr. John, anxious
individuals are unlikely to display any problem behaviors
when feeling calm and safe and doing something they enjoy. On the contrary, people with ADHD will experience problem behaviors even when they engage in a particular fun or exciting activity. For example, a person with ADHD may become so engrossed
with painting a picture that they tune out or completely
ignore everything else. This behavior is known as hyperfocus. Did you relate to any of
the signs we’ve mentioned? Let us know in the comments below. If you found this video helpful, be sure to like, subscribe,
and share this video with those who might benefit from it. And don’t forget to hit
the notification bell icon to get notified whenever
Psych2Go posts a new video. As always, the references and
studies used in this video are added in the description below.Thanks so much for watching
and see you in our next video. (light music).
Once you end the relationship or gain distance from
a narcissistic parent, you promise yourself that
you won’t answer their calls or physically see them at all. However, even if you’ve tried to cut ties, your abuser is confident that they will eventually wear you down because you’ve set aside
your boundaries with them so many times before. If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, you might also have trouble
setting healthy boundaries in your relationships
with others in the future. Nine, you may be questioning
your own identity. When facing abuse, many people
adjust their self-identity to accommodate an abusive partner. You may have stopped
doing things you enjoy or spending time with friends and family in order to better appease your abuser. These changes can often
lead to a loss of identity during and after the abuse. It’s not uncommon for
victims of narcissistic abuse to experience dissociation and attachment from the physical world. Dr. van der Kolk writes
in his book titled, “The Body Keeps The Score”: Dissociation is the essence of trauma. The overwhelming experience
is split off and fragmented so that the emotions,
sounds, images, thoughts, and physical sensations
take on a life of their own. Oof! Number 10, you may find
it hard to make decisions. When there has been a negative pattern of devaluation and criticism in your life, you might have very little self-esteem and confidence in yourself. Narcissistic abusers can make statements that imply that you are
unable to make good decisions. Abusive partners may have called
you’re stupid, or ignorant, or they might’ve insulted you with a false and affectionate tone. They can manipulate you into believing you
imagine parts of reality making it seem less important
than it actually is. This type of controlling and deceitfulness can affect the way you
make future decisions. So, did you relate to any of the signs? Let us know in the comments below. I wanted to take a second
to say that I definitely… Um, sorry. Hi, it’s Amanda, the voiceover voice. I’m reading the script for the first time and I really related to it. So I wanted to add a point that, in you taking the time to learn about narcissistic
victim syndrome, you’re empowering yourself. Once you know you can grow. Acknowledging the effects of being in a narcissistic relationship is the first step to healing from one. As we close out, we wanted to say that not all
abuse is linked to narcissism, and not all people with a diagnosis of narcissistic
personality disorder will engage in abusive behavior. However, if you feel you might be a victim of this type of abuse, we encourage you to reach out for help. Talk to someone you can trust, like a good friend, a family
member, or a therapist. It’s not easy to leave
an abusive relationship, but with the right support,
you can move on with your life and start to heal from your past hurts. Like and share this video if it helped you and you think it could
help someone else too. The studies and references used are listed in the description below. Don’t forget to hit the Subscribe button for more Psych2Go videos, and thank you for watching. We’ll see you in the next one... 
