10 Signs of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome
(soft instrumental music) – [Amanda] Hey Psych2Go
family, and welcome back. If you’re new to this channel and by the end of the video
you enjoy our content, do consider subscribing and
joining the Psych2Go fam. Now, let’s begin. Narcissistic victim syndrome is a term that collectively
describes specific and often severe side effects
of narcissistic abuse. Many experts acknowledge
narcissistic abuse can have a serious long-lasting
impact on emotional health, although it is not recognized
as a mental health condition. As a result of chronic abuse, victims may struggle with
symptoms of PTSD or complex PTSD. If they had additional trauma such as being abused by
narcissistic parents. (beeping) (upbeat music) With that in mind, here are
10 signs that might suggest you have narcissistic victim syndrome. Number one, you felt like you
had a perfect relationship with that person in the beginning.
When you’re in a romantic relationship, this type of abuse usually begins slowly and it creeps up on you
after you’ve fallen hard and are in love with your partner. In the early stages of the relationship, this is when the love
bombing usually occurs. They may shower you with
gifts and affection and it can feel very intense. Then slowly, manipulative tactics start to invade the relationship and will replace the love bombing. In the case of narcissistic parents, they might also offer
love, adoration, praise, and financial support, until you do something to displease them and lose their favor. They use tactics such as
gaslighting and silent treatment which can leave you
questioning your sanity. And this is something that sticks with you even after you’ve cut
ties with that person. Number two, you feel like
you’re walking on eggshells. A common symptom of trauma
is avoiding anything that might make you relive
that particular trauma. Whether it be people,
places, or activities that pose a threat to you, you may feel like you’re
constantly worrying and being careful about what
you say or do around people because that is how you used to behave when you were around your abuser.
You may present as
anxious and introverted, especially when in the
presence of other people, though you’re simply
acting out of extreme fear. Number three, you may have
experienced smear campaigns once the relationship ended. When breakups happen, it’s
common for people to take sides. This is no different when it
comes to a narcissistic abuser. They will twist your words and tell their version
of the story to others to try and get them to
feel sorry for them. They can often drum up
support from your loved ones by insisting that they only
have the best interest at heart. Then when you try to talk
about the abuse that happened, your loved ones might side
with the abuser over you. This can drop barriers between you and the people
in your support network and leave you feeling isolated. Number four, you feel
isolated and vulnerable.
When no one will listen
to you or your concerns, this can leave you
feeling very much alone. When you feel alone, you’re vulnerable to further
manipulation from your abuser. They may pull you back
in with fake apologies, a hand of kindness, or by brushing their past
abuse under the rock. This tactic, which is called hovering, is the perfect time to pounce when you’re lacking in support since you are more likely
to doubt your perceptions of the abuse when you can’t
talk to anyone about it.
Number five, you’ve developed
a pervasive sense of mistrust. Are you hypervigilant? Do you worry and get anxious
over other people’s intentions? The gaslighting techniques
used by the narcissistic abuser may have contributed to
how you view the world. And you may find that you have
a hard time trusting anyone, including yourself. Number six, you may
engage in self-sabotaging and self-destructive behavior. Victims often find themselves
ruminating over the abuse. This can enhance the frequency
of negative self-talk and the tendency towards self-sabotage. Malignant narcissists
will try and program you, conditioning you for self-destruction. This could potentially lead you to engage in risky
behaviors such as self-harm or even suicidal ideation. You might’ve developed a
knack for punishing yourself because of the toxic shame you carry, put there by the hypercriticism and verbal abuse of your abuser. If you feel like you’re
lacking any motivation to pursue your dreams and goals, then this could be a result
of narcissistic abuse. Number seven, you may experience unexplained physical symptoms.
Narcissistic abuse can trigger
anxious and nervous feelings that can trigger physical symptoms. The stress of chronic abuse may send your stress
levels into overdrive. As a result, your immune
system may take a severe hit leaving you vulnerable to
physical ailments and disease. You may notice symptoms such
as appetite changes, nausea, stomach pain, muscle aches and
pains, insomnia, and fatigue. Number eight, you may have
issues setting boundaries. The experience of narcissistic abuse can often leave you with
little respect for boundaries. This may be because when you tried to set
boundaries in the past, you may have been met with
challenges from the abuser who gave you the silent treatment until you did what they wanted. Once you end the relationship or gain distance from
a narcissistic parent, you promise yourself that
you won’t answer their calls or physically see them at all.
However, even if you’ve tried to cut ties, your abuser is confident that they will eventually wear you down because you’ve set aside
your boundaries with them so many times before. If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, you might also have trouble
setting healthy boundaries in your relationships
with others in the future. Nine, you may be questioning
your own identity. When facing abuse, many people
adjust their self-identity to accommodate an abusive partner. You may have stopped
doing things you enjoy or spending time with friends and family to better appease your abuser. These changes can often
lead to a loss of identity during and after the abuse. It’s not uncommon for
victims of narcissistic abuse to experience dissociation and attachment from the physical world.
Dr. van der Kolk writes
in his book titled, “The Body Keeps The Score” that dissociation is the essence of trauma. The overwhelming experience
is split off and fragmented so that the emotions,
sounds, images, thoughts, and physical sensations
take on a life of their own. Oof! Number 10, you may find
it hard to make decisions. When there has been a negative pattern of devaluation and criticism in your life, you might have very little self-esteem and confidence in yourself. Narcissistic abusers can make statements that imply that you are
unable to make good decisions.
Abusive partners may have called
you stupid, or ignorant, or they might’ve insulted you with a false and affectionate tone. They can manipulate you into believing you
imagine parts of reality making it seem less important
than it is. This type of controlling and deceitfulness can affect the way you
make future decisions. So, did you relate to any of the signs? Let us know in the comments below. I wanted to take a second
to say that I… Um, sorry. Hi, it’s Amanda, the voiceover voice. I’m reading the script for the first time and I related to it.
So I wanted to add a point that, in taking the time to learn about narcissistic
victim syndrome, you’re empowering yourself. Once you know you can grow. Acknowledging the effects of being in a narcissistic relationship is the first step to healing from one. As we close out, we want to say that not all
abuse is linked to narcissism, and not all people with a diagnosis of narcissistic
personality disorder will engage in abusive behavior. However, if you feel you might be a victim of this type of abuse, we encourage you to reach out for help. Talk to someone you can trust, like a good friend, a family
member, or a therapist. It’s not easy to leave
an abusive relationship, but with the right support,
you can move on with your life and start to heal from your past hurts. Like and share this video if it helped you and you think it could
help someone else too. The studies and references used are listed in the description below. Don’t forget to hit the Subscribe button for more Psych2Go videos, and thank you for watching. We’ll see you in the next one.
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