This episode was pre-recorded as part of
a live continuing education webinar. On-demand CEUs are still available for this
presentation through ALLCEUs. Register at ALLCEUs.com/CounselorToolbox. I’d like to welcome you to today’s
presentation on the sociological approach to reducing risk and building
resilience. As I was putting together This presentation it was kind of like
right in the wake of when Harvey hit. And then you know recently we’ve had the
shooting in Las Vegas, and some of the counselors, especially counselors in
training that can’t be practiced independently yet that are in some of my
social media groups and in my professional groups have been talking
about how frustrating it is and even some of us who are licensed but just
can’t wake up and go help the Red Cross right now about how frustrating it is
not to be able to help and how much we want to help so what I usually do
because you know I I’m generally not upwardly mobile where I can just drop
everything and go to a crisis what I did after 9/11 was look at what things
in that situation could I positively impact and how could I do it in a way
that made sense but you know for my life because I can’t you know at that point I
for 9/11 I had an infant at home and you know other stuff so we’re going to look
when we’re talking about addressing issues like the opiate epidemic or the
major problem of depression almost I guess anxiety almost one in four people
has anxiety issues and we’re gonna look at some of that and try to figure out
what can be done what can we do from where we are in a way that makes sense
because yes we can influence politics and advocacy but what can we do with
small chunks of time that are beneficial to helping the cause as well as you know
could help the clients we have currently so we’ll define the
socio-ecological not model which is Broth and Brenner’s model we’re going to
apply it to addiction and mental health issues and explore different variables
in this model and then discuss how this framework can be used in prevention and
treatment of co-occurring or independently occurring disorders so
we’re going to talk about how it may
sense to conceptualize not only the development of addiction but also the
development of things like eating disorders and mood disorders in terms of
a socio-ecological model and even some things like bipolar and
schizophrenia can be a person being genetically predisposed or whatever but
there could be certain environmental factors that could you know trigger that
first psychotic episodes so we want to look at what might be going on and how
can we help prevent or treat now prevention can take the form of
three different activities if you will prevent the problem so helping people
not get depressed at all ever so starting to provide those skills and
tools when people are knee-high to a grasshopper hopefully preventing
worsening of the problem so people don’t get severely clinically depressed where
they can’t get out of bed so the early intervention services and effective you
know frontline resources and preventing associated fallout okay the person gets
to press gets clinically depressed well let’s see if we can help them avoid
losing their job because they can’t get out of bed to go to work develop
additional health problems from being depressed or developing an addiction in
order to self-medicate that depression so we’ve there are three different
methods or avenues we can take in prevention and you know we want
to look at them all because when you’ve got somebody who’s becoming clinically
depressed you know they’re depressed you know situationally whatever something
happened and it started to turn into something more than just a couple of
days it’s going to start having associated fallout early and you know
it’s not going to be huge they’re not going to lose a job right off they’re
not going to start having major family problems right off but they are going to
start having little hiccups because that depression causes an imbalance in their
in their environment and we know environments like to maintain
homeostasis and you know the kids are gonna be like well Mom why aren’t you
getting up and doing these things and what’s going on and you know things are
going to start changing and the person will need to be able to deal with that
so the socio-ecological model explores and explains human behavior as the
interaction between the individual and environmental systems there’s
a fifth one that is more of your longitudinal but we’re going to
talk about the four main ones today the micro the meso the EXO and the macro
systems the microsystem involves well let’s start before that the individual
if you look at the model is sort of the bull’s eye here and the individual is
not considered a system but it involves all of the things about the
individual including biology and personal learning that make people who
they are okay so this person exists within a microsystem and that micro
system is their family peers School Church synagogue whatever and health
services things that they probably interface with regularly
work should also be on that but it’s for some reason it’s not on this diagram
anyway the mesosystem is the interconnection between microsystems so
how do family and peers interact I don’t know about you
thankfully my family might be very accepting of most of my peers but I know
other friends of mine who brought home peers who were not as well accepted by
their family so there was some conflict between the the family and the peers and
we know how much peer pressure and peer relationships are important in an
adolescents’ lives which creates conflict and consternation
how does the family interface with school how does Pierce how does
your peer group interact with school and do they see it
as a good thing to do they see it as worthwhile you know etc so when we’re
talking about the microsystem and the mesosystem we’re talking about
things that people interface with daily so I want you to think
about how the mesosystem and you can feel free to chime in on the chat
room if you want how does the mesosystem family peer
school church you know recreational activities health services impact the
development of mental health or illness now you notice I’m trying to kind of
switch ears for health because we want to promote health and we can look at the
opposite for mental illness but you know if you have positive family peer
interactions it’s probably going to support mental health it’s probably
going to support decision-making in the adolescent it’s probably going to I mean
and I’m thinking adults and adolescents here but family and friends you know if
you want to think about you know how do you get along with your significant
others peer groups and do they interface well or is it kind of like oil and water
how does the how does your family interface with your work how do they
deal with how many hours you have to work whether you’re getting called in at
night or getting emails or text messages at 8 p.m. or you know what
are their expectations and how does that influence if there’s a conflict you know
if the family doesn’t like what’s going on at work or the fact that you
know your boss is emailing you at 8 p.m. then it can create
conflict within the environment which can lead to increased anxiety and
depression and Yabadabadoo now how does mental health or illness impact the
mesosystem so again thinking about how if someone is clinically depressed how
does it impact their family how does it impact their peers and if you have a
family member who has you know clinical depression or generalized anxiety how
does it impact how your family interfaces with everything else because
you know you end up having somebody or somebody in the family who may be
caretaking for the person who has depression or anxiety or whatever the
mental health issue is who’s not able to do the stuff that they were able to do
so the rest of the families kind of pick slack so how does that affect how they
interface you know the rest of the family members interface with school and
work you know maybe they end up showing it
more exhausted so it’s important to look at the mesosystem
the exosystem involves links in a social setting in which the individual
does not have a direct active role so for example how would I impact my
spouse’s work and again if I am the identified patient and I’ve got clinical
depression and I’m calling my spouse to come home because I just can’t be alone
or my spouse is late to work or unproductive because he’s always
exhausted when he gets to work because he has so much to do since I am you know
not able to do as much right now then it could negatively impact his work and
so we want to look at how that impacts how the home environment impacts work
and how work impacts the home environment the macro system describes
the culture socioeconomic status poverty ethnicity etc so what we’re looking at
in the macro system is really the larger you know not just within your city maybe
or even closer to your neighborhood we’re looking at what you see in the media
what you see on national TV your your statewide elections your national
elections your state laws and culture and what’s being communicated if you
are a religious person what your religious culture communicates because
you know religion generally is not just in one little area it’s international or
national so what types of things does that communicate to to the person and
how does that influence the development or not development if you will of
depression anxiety or addiction so again think about how the exosystem of the
social setting in which the individual doesn’t have a directive or an active role
think about how much people were influenced after the elections I mean
yeah we had a role if you went out and voted you had a role but you don’t
decide the election so once that happens how do you know the exosystem
impact you know your your emotions your other
community events employment etc and how those things impact the family I know
you know there was a lot of consternation and concern among some of
my friends who are Jewish after the last election so their families experienced a
high ink or a great increase in anxiety development of mental health or mental
illness how does all this stuff that’s going on in the exosystem and
stuff that you don’t have direct control over how does it impact the development
of mental illness you know or mental health and we’re going to talk more
specifically in a couple of minutes and again likewise how does mental illness
or mental health impact the exosystem if you have a healthy workforce if you
have healthy people who are actively participating in work and going to community
activities voting to participate then you’re probably going to have a
healthier outcome than if you have people who are not able I mean they’re
so depressed they’re not able to even get out and participate so we want to
look at the reciprocal nature it’s not one way the community doesn’t just
affect us you know it may affect us but then how we react affects the community
how does the attitude of the culture impact the community if you’ve got a
a culture that is accepting of certain ideologies they’re accepting of LGBTQI
they’re accepting of people who are Muslim in their religion they’re
accepting of people who are Christian and their religion they’re accepting of
you know fill in the blank if the culture is accepting of that how does
that affect the community and those people within the community who might
you know otherwise not have been accepting does it kind of pressure them
in or does it cause anxiety and consternation in those people how
does the attitude of the culture for example about
premarital sex and marriage affect the family how does it affect the
development of and again we’re thinking about anxiety depression and addiction
so how does it affect the development of stress which may lead to mood disorders
or problems and how did the community families and individuals with mental
health or mental illness impacts the culture you know so we have an impact on
our culture we get together we see you know we have Generation X Generation Y
but the baby boomers all had their sort of or we all have our sort
of unique cultures and things that we bring to the table and things you know
that was given to us we said no we don’t want to thank you very much
so there is a give-and-take among the individuals within the
culture and that’s good because that means we can start small you know start
in our locale and create this positive mesosystem and then build from there if
If you have a positive community then that’s probably going to spread think
about when a company goes and dumps fertilizer for example into a waterway
it doesn’t just stay there over time that fertilizer bleeds out and
you start having algae blooms everywhere things don’t stay I mean in our society
things don’t stay in one place for very long they tend to move they tend to
migrate so positive will migrate that’s awesome
negative can also migrate so we want to look at how can we enhance the positive
migration and keep down the negative if you will so now let’s start talking
about what can we do and how can we operationalize all of this we realize
that if we affect the individual it’ll have a positive effect on the meso
system which can have a positive effect on the exosystem Yabadabadoo so great we also realize that one of the only things we have a lot of
control over is the individual ourselves so a lot of people come to
counseling individually score so this is where we’re going to start
so what things contribute I start by listing risk factors for the
development of mood disorders and addictions and then we talk about capital you know what you have in order
to you need to have to prevent these things and then prevention
strategies so that’s kind of how we’re going to go it’s not going to stay
depressing individuals with chronic pain are at higher risk of mood disorders or
addiction addiction because of the pain management you know drugs that are out
there and you know once they start taking payment management drugs opiates
a lot of times the brain quits producing endogenous opioids the natural
painkillers so when they first come off the body doesn’t automatically pick up
so it takes a little while for the person’s pain tolerance to build back up
which keeps some people from wanting to get off the medication among other
things but chronic pain can also be debilitating it can make people lose
some abilities that they used to have or crush some dreams if you will you
no, I think I’ve told you before that I have a bad shoulder and carpal tunnel so I
can’t garden the way I used to you know I still go out and do it but I’ve got to
pay attention and only be out there for an hour too instead of spending six
hours out on the farm which is frustrating to me it was only mildly
frustrating but my grandfather when he started developing Parkinson’s couldn’t
make his miniatures anymore and he made gorgeous miniatures and I know that’s
not chronic pain but it’s kind of the same thing if you’ve got rheumatoid
arthritis he couldn’t make his miniatures and he became devastated and
became withdrawn so understanding that pain has multiple influences that can
cause depression that may trigger a grief reaction that we need to help
people address now the things I put in bold are things that we as clinicians
can easily help people prevent or/or address chronic pain we can help
For people with low self-esteem that’s a no-brainer
if people don’t feel good about themselves
and they’re looking for external validation they’re going to be at a higher
risk for anxiety fear of abandonment fear of not being good enough fear of
failure and depression a sense of hopelessness and helplessness substance
use especially early substance use can cause changes in the prefrontal cortex
leading to problems with impulse control and decision-making but it can also
disrupt the balance of neurochemicals leading to symptoms of depression and/or
anxiety so it’s important to understand that especially the earlier the
substance use starts the greater the chance that it’s going to cause some
sort of brain changes and we’ve also found that a lot of people, not the
majority but there is a percentage a significant percentage of people that
when they start using early they kind of quit developing coping skills after that
they find something that works they’re like oh I like this I think I’ll use
that from now on when we start talking about people who
started drinking or smoking marijuana when they were you know 9 10 11 12 you
might see more mood issues or addiction issues in those people than
people who didn’t start using mood-altering drugs as early as a history of
abuse can contribute to the development of PTSD but not everybody who
is abused develops PTSD but there can be episodes of anxiety and depression as
well as it increases the chances of the development of addiction genetic
vulnerability we know that mood disorders and addictions tend to run in
families and they’ve done studies that have shown that there is a genetic
component doesn’t mean it’s going to happen it just means you have this gene
there that could be triggered so we don’t want we want to make sure that
clients know that they are not just doomed you know they can prevent
triggering that but they need to be aware that they may be more vulnerable
inappropriate coping responses if we are not born with coping skills
so if somebody doesn’t know how to cope with life on life’s terms
because either because they’ve always been shielded or because they’ve never
had anybody helped them maybe they were kind of on their own from the
get-go so they learned to lash out and get angry or withdraw and get depressed
but they never really learned how to deal with the stuff they’re gonna be at
higher risk of mood and addictive disorders we can help people develop
coping responses are one of the things you want to look at when people are using
seemingly unhelpful behaviors is to remember to ask what is the cause of
this so we want to look at what is the root cause of what is prompting this
behavior and what is the benefit of the current behaviors and I’m going to keep
reminding you of that as we go through this violence and aggression you know
again what’s the cause of the violence and aggression did people do this person
learn that’s how you cope with distress in their family of origin is it a
protective mechanism because they’ve experienced situations where that has
helped them deal with conflict before what prompts this and what the benefit
to it when they act out when they’re violent and aggressive what is the
benefit it gives them power it pushes people away they just enjoy hurting
people hopefully that’s the minority but we want to ask that because we can’t
figure out an alternative until we know what the function is
same thing with risk-taking and impulsivity there are certain theories
that says some people need more stimulation than others they get bored
easily so they tend to be higher risk-takers and maybe more impulsive than you
want to ask if this person doing this you know I have a friend who is an
adrenaline junkie you know skydiving rock climbing you
name it he’s done it and you know more power to him I don’t see a purpose of
jumping out of a perfectly good airplane but he he thrives on that and when he
can’t get out and do those sorts of things he feels good so what is it about
this risk-taking and what kind of risk-taking it risk-taking as
in holding a balloon liquor store or is it risk-taking as
in doing something like skydiving which is theoretically safe and what’s the
benefit it makes gives them a rush makes
they feel good helps him you know escape or whatever great that’s fine
the rebellious nests you know again what is
and this is a key for adolescents especially but even if you’re a
supervisor working with employees if they’re being rebellious you want to
look and say what’s the point what’s the benefit to being rebellious what are
they holding on to and refusing to let go of that you want them to let go of or
what are they refusing to do that you want them to do and what’s the
benefit to it if they are being rebellious and they’re staying like
think again adolescents staying out all night OK well what’s a motivating factor
is it to get under their parent’s skin probably not is it to conform to peer
pressure you know oftentimes that’s maybe the case but you have to look at
the individual and say ok how can you do this in a way that helps you move
forward rejection of pro-social values if the people who espouse the
pro-social values are the people that the person rejects then they’re probably
going to reject those values so we want to look at you to know if you’re rejecting
those what values are you espousing and why are those important to you and
why are you rejecting these over here you know not saying it’s right or wrong
I’m just trying to understand where you’re coming from and you know that’s
something that we’ve got to be sensitive to and different people
are going to hold different values lack peer refusal skills to stay out late
to get into trouble to use drugs to have early sex whatever it is those things a
lot of times indicate poor communication skills and low self-esteem need to be
accepted you know all that stuff that’s challenging during during teen and early
adolescent years those are things we can help with being bullied you know that’s
a risk factor when people are bullied they tend to get depressed and when
they’re bullied they may turn to substances to try to make themselves
feel better to numb the pain they make self-injure there’s a lot of
different things might happen we can help people
develop skills to deal with being bullied since we don’t understand
a hundred percent why people bully we need to help the victims become
survivors we need to help them have the tools to be able to deal with it and
understand why it happens without letting it hurt them early and
persistent problem behaviors that’s just so broad but again look at why the
person’s child acting out an early sexual activity could be a history of sexual
abuse could be a dysfunctional family of origin and the child is trying to get
out I worked with a 14-year-old who once told me she was gonna get pregnant
as soon as she turned 15 because that’s when she could get into housing on her
own so she was intentionally going to get pregnant at 15 and there was a
reason for it she was very clear about her logic a lot of times it’s peer
pressure and acceptance but uh asking what is that what is the cause and is
this cause going to keep the person from developing healthy coping skills and
being happy is potentially going to lead to depression peer rejection you
know that hurts so helping people figure out how to navigate peer rejection
because you’re not going to be liked by everybody academic failure we can help
with now not necessarily as clinicians but we can advocate for the person we
can help them find tutors resources etc lack of information on positive health
behaviors put it out there most of the time youth these days have a pretty good
idea of what’s healthy and what’s not they just aren’t motivated for it
they’re motivated for something else when addictive behaviors are you used to
cope with stress or unpleasant feelings I said coping skills may fail to
develop or when they’re used to enhance self-confidence such as drinking before
going to a party then they may start to develop anxiety and self-consciousness
when they don’t have a drink on board so it may start
prompting the development of some mood disorders in addition to the fact that
repeated use especially in a young brain can cause some neurotransmitter
imbalances using addictive behaviors also to enhance other experiences ties
it to those experiences making them person more likely to use those and
similar situations desensitizing the brain’s pleasure centers so what am I
what do I mean I mean if you typically drink when you are watching football
then you’re going to be more likely to drink every time you watch football it’s
just one of those things you do when you watch football if you’re one of those
people who eat when they watch TV then when you watch TV you’re more likely to
eat when you go to the movies because that’s a similar situation you’re more
likely to want to have popcorn or eat so it’s important to understand that with
addictive behaviors if you have something that produces pleasure it can
be triggered you know the person can start thinking about it in a similar
situations using repeatedly can cause neurochemical imbalances in genetics you
know you can’t be born with a neurochemical imbalance not enough
serotonin too much whatever and poor health behaviors as I’ve talked about a
bunch of times not enough sleep quality poor nutrition and high stress
can also cause neurochemical imbalances so we can educate people about some of
the things that can cause depression and anxiety so they can prevent it we can
educate parents so they can start coaching their kids from the get-go so
personal recovery capital to develop what we need to be happy and healthy
human beings we have to have certain things to help us along the way we need
to have the things to enable us for physical health think about Maslow’s
pure hierarchy bottom level is all your health and biological needs we need to
have our physical health and that includes nutrition Slee
and you know not being in pain all the time sometimes you’re gonna feel pain
that’s being human that’s being alive but we need to have our health for the
the most part we need to have financial assets to get our basic needs met you
now get that food keep clothing on our back
transportation roof over our heads health insurance and access to medication and
there are two different things health insurance covers theoretically
going to the doctor and the mental health counselor etc access to
medication is not covered under a lot of insurance so remember that most
pharmaceutical companies have patient assistance programs that can help
clients access their medication if they can’t afford it because some medication
is a really expensive safe housing conduct that’s conducive to recovery and
that’s not just addictions if you’ve got somebody who is clinically depressed or
highly anxious living in a radically dysfunctional household where there’s
lots of yelling or arguing or other people who are similarly dysfunctional
it’s probably not going to prompt those positive cognitions and mindfulness and
everything that we’re trying to establish doesn’t mean they can move
unfortunately a lot of people can’t so we got to talk about how can you create
an area in your housing environment that’s safe people need to have adequate
clothing to stay warm to be able to dress for work and you know go
to their job and be dressed appropriately and transportation to get
their needs met most of us don’t live in a city where we can just walk but
walking I guess is a form of transportation we need to be able to
access the resources that are out there whether it be food or going to work so
we can pay our light bill or whatever it is
values awareness people need to know what’s important to them to
figure out what they need to do to be happy a sense of purpose helps people
keep going and we can help people with this I mean these are easy exercises
when you give them a values activity worksheet you know
what are your top five values when you look at the sense of purpose what is
your purpose in life and a lot of us don’t know but we know what we
want it to be or we can start theorizing about what is the purpose of what I do
as a job on a day-to-day basis, what is the purpose of this activity that I’m
doing so they can start to see some meaning in the stuff they do we can help
people develop hope and optimism and we’ve talked about that one people need
to have a perception of their past present and future they need to be able
to look over the past and it may suck or it may be great but they need to be able
to look back over it and go yep that’s it they need to be able to look at their
present and realistically assess what they’ve got and maybe what they don’t
have but realistically assess what they’ve got and look at their future and
go where do I want to go from here because you’re here and you don’t want
to stay here forever you can’t stay here forever because times gonna move on what
next people need to be able to see but understand that they’re not
necessarily controlled by their past or stuck in the present that they have the
ability to make choices every single moment to work toward what they want for
the future education training and job skills people need to be able to make a
living that’s just the way it is you need to be able to feed yourself and put
a roof over your head so we can make referrals to job training agencies we
can make referrals to social service agencies problem-solving skills
interpersonal skills and self-esteem are all things that we are super
skilled at teaching and we can teach these in chunks they don’t have to be
these long groups don’t have to be big drawn-out sessions we can provide
people snippets you can provide somebody with the concept of distressed tolerance and
the improve acronym in a handout and have them look at that or in an email
you know if you email your clients once each day or on your blog there are a lot
of different ways, you can just get that information out there and in front of
people so I can look at it I call I tell my
clients it’s bathroom reading you know I usually give them a handout or two and I
just put it on the back of the toilet and when you’re in there you know take a
look at it if it’s useful great if not bottle it up and throw it in the the
trashcan I’m good with that but there’s no
pressure and I’m not putting extra assignments on them I’m just providing
information about a skill and then if they want to pursue it further when they
come back to counseling we can talk about it so what can we do we can
promote positive health and wellness behaviors by educating people about why
they’re important and what to do and where to find more information you know
because some of these things like nutrition we can’t be prescriptive but
we can point people in the direction of where to get good advice and information and we can also model this you know in
our treatment plan at least in mind I try to make sure that people are putting
a print emphasizing getting enough
quality sleep eating well and maybe exercising at least moving around if
they don’t want to call it exercise but taking care of themselves and getting
some relaxation and recreation in their bonding to a pro-social culture is
difficult for us to do for people or do with people we can talk about what
are your hobbies what are things that you enjoy doing and encourage people to
try out volunteering or get involved in meetups to engage in activities
with other people but that’s something that they’re going to have to do
on their participation in extracurricular activities again kind of
the same thing we can point them in the right direction of volunteerism meetups
things through their through their church or their synagogue or their you
know whatever clubs that they’re involved in positive relationships with
adults now obviously this is more important if we’re working with children
or teenagers we want to help children and teenagers kind of see where adults
don’t have their head that far in the ground
but we also want to help adults learn how to more effectively communicate with
teenagers because a lot of adults lecture at and I know this and you’ll
you’ll understand when you’re older and you know lots of that kind of stuff
so things that we can do to enhance relationships with adults is to educate
people about you know how to effectively communicate with teenagers for
example who are trying to find their way and trying to assert independence and
resisting some rules how do you deal with that how do you communicate with
them in a way because a lot of parents have difficulty navigating that boundary
between friend and parent so we can help with that
active workshops in the community workshops you can do at churches at
libraries those are things you can do there you can put them on for like an
an hour once a month it’s good if you’re it’s free but it’s a good promotion for
your practice if you know you go out and do it and people come to learn something
from you, they’re like hey that might be helpful social competence it’s another
one of those things that we can do in little snippets we can provide tips and
tips and tools whether infographics on an Instagram page are really
useful for a lot of teenagers they want something that’s you know in a picture
and fast it’s a snapshot so social competence checklists are another
really good thing if you’re teaching different types of skills for
communication or how you’re supposed to use different forks I know the first
time I went to a formal dinner I was looking at all the silverware going I
have no idea what to do with this stuff the sense of well-being and
self-confidence we can help people develop this by encouraging them to
focus on what they do well we want to make sure they have plans
well that means goal setting and since a lot of people don’t know how to goal-set
they don’t have goals, so they’re just kind of floating out there not
looking at the future we want to help people look at the future and
figure out how they’re going to get there so they’re like wow this is
doable this is attainable this is another thing you can put work put
worksheets on your website you can do short workshops to help people
figure out how to look at how to define or learn how to define a rich and
meaningful life and figure out how they’re going to define their goals and
achieve their knowledge about risks associated with addictive
behaviors now a lot of kids you know think back to the old dare programs I
had a lot of clients tell me that those programs only taught me how to you
safely I was like well that’s not what they were intended for but we do want to
educate youth about you know still about the risks of some of those drugs and
even adults not just youth educate people about how dangerous or how
potentially addictive opiates for example can be after three to five days
your body has already started to build up a tolerance that’s kind of scary so
helping people understand that but also addictive behaviors like pornography a
lot of teens don’t think about it a lot of adults don’t think about
it until they’re stuck in it or online gambling you know those are some things
that can kind of catch people unawares because they didn’t think about it
wasn’t a substance we typically think of addictions as substances since it’s not
a substance they didn’t think about the effect that the pleasure from those
activities were going to have on our neurochemicals and create a
a situation where they didn’t feel okay they didn’t feel normal
they didn’t feel happy without having that in their life because their
dopamine receptors had been blunted individual prevention strategies
the big summary is we want to promote attitudes beliefs and behaviors
that ultimately provide the person with healthy coping skills whether it’s
through health class whether it’s through workshops I know at
organizations I’ve worked at before the Jaypee would come in and do periodic
workshops that’s a great way to connect with people and reduce utilization if
you do psycho-educational prevention group because an ounce of prevention is
worth a pound of cure we want to make sure that they’re aware of positive
health behaviors and how to access those resources in Gainesville I don’t know
about up here but I know in Gainesville the mall used to open at six o’clock in
the morning so people could walk inside in a safe place and you know be out of
the elements and yadda-yadda so just letting people know that that
existed was a big step because they were like well I don’t want to join a gym and
go to the mall with effective interpersonal skills we want to make sure people know
how to effectively communicate set boundaries all that stuff that we talked
about this can be taught it’s nice if your local news is willing to use you to
do you know wellness minute I find one of the best places to do that is
either right before or right after the weather because most everybody Tunes in
for the weather, I may not stick around for the animal of the day or whatever
well I always do but I’m always tuned in for the weather so if you get
either right before or right after that you tend to get higher viewership and
reach more people and a minute gives somebody a chunk of something that they
can use today-specific approaches may include education and life skills
training in schools you know is provided to the kids and have them share it
with their parents through the media and community center or library workshops
those are all great ways to get stuff out I encourage you if you want to get
into providing prevention and helping to help your community helping people to
prevent getting depressed or anxious or developing other problems to look at
doing some of these very time-limited things because you don’t want to
lose a lot of billable hours but we still want to be able to do more than
we’re doing at least that’s what a lot of a lot of us tend to feel
like the mesosystem so we’ve been talking about the individuals so far
because that’s where we can have the greatest effect the mesosystem examines
close relationships that may increase the risk of experimenting with high-risk
behaviors or developing mood disorders people’s closest circle of peers
partners and family members influence their behavior and contribute to their
range of experience if you’ve got a child that grows up in a household where
the parent or parents are clinically depressed they’re not able to
model effective coping skills where they model cognitive distortions guess what
jr. Is gonna pick up if you are in a household where you know you’re in college and
you’ve got four other roommates and all of your your other roommates tend to be
negative and naysayers you’re either probably going to move or you may that
might start wearing off on you a little bit likewise if they are you know all
kinds of go-getters that can wear off on you too so you know there’s going to be
an impact risk factor is peer and family reinforcement of negative or unhealthy
norms and expectations so if your family says you know people suck they’re
always going to take advantage of you what are you going to take away from
that and is that going to contribute to you probably having difficulties with
trusting and maybe developing depression possibly so we want to look at what kind
of messages is the peer group or family sending to the individual that may
contribute to the development of mood or anxiety disorders early sexual activity
among peers could communicate that well this is the norm so everybody’s doing it
ties to deviant peers and gang involvement you know especially at that
particular group there’s a lot of pressure to conform or there’s a
negative consequences family members who don’t spend much time together and this
could be because parents work a lot this could be because everybody’s you know
involved in all kinds of other stuff but they found that
when families are disengaged the parents tend to miss out on subtle cues when
families are disengaged even if they don’t have children in the mix that
there tends to be a weakening of those bonds supportive bonds so people
are at higher risk for development of depression and anxiety because they
don’t have that you know everybody’s behind me sort of feeling parents who
have trouble keeping track of youth can indicate that the youth may be at risk
for developing substance or more mood disorders lack of clear rules and
consequences you think about even just being at work when there’s a lack of
clear rules and consequences you don’t exactly know what you’re supposed to do
I know for me that creates doodles of anxiety I like manuals and to date
pretty much every job I’ve ever taken I’ve walked in and there hasn’t been a
manual and I’ve been like okay there must be a manual written and that’s been
my first thing now I’m kind of on the structured side so I don’t expect
everybody is that way but most of us tend to experience a little bit of
anxiety about failure about acceptance if we don’t know what’s expected so it’s
important whether it’s a family or a job situation to make sure there’s clear
rules and consequences you know what’s expected and what’s going to happen if
you mess up or if you don’t meet this expectation there also needs to be
consistent expectations and limits you know when people especially children but
a lot of us tested our limits when we were kids and even as adults you know I
know you know going back to working in organizations I would have staff who
would test limits and see how long they could go without turning in a progress
note before I’d be knocking on their door going paperwork it’s natural for
people to kind of test limits especially with stuff they don’t want to do stuff
that’s not rewarding family conflict and abuse can cause a high risk of depression
and anxiety whether adults or children I mean if there’s a
a lot of conflict and chaos it’s exhausting and it can cause a lot of
dysphoric emotions and loss of employment that’s kind of
self-explanatory protective factors close family relationships so as
clinicians we can encourage people to identify who they consider their family
it may not be their blood relatives or their family who are there for them
who can they call it 2:00 in the morning and how can they nurture those
relationships encourage people to develop relationships with peers that
are involved in pro-social activities like hiking or volunteering in the
community consistency of parenting is important in terms of producing children
who are who are stronger healthier more resilient encouraging education and
parents who are actively involved can help prevent future depression because
they’re creating children who can join the workforce and have that
individual capital to prevent depression and anxiety and cope with stress
positively and this is a family protective factor and a peer for
protective factor why because we learn from observation so if our peers cope
with stress positively by prayer or exercise or whatever it is they do and
our family has other positive ways of coping with stress and we’re going to
have a greater venue of stuff to choose from supportive relationships with
caring for adults beyond the immediate family is encouraged so we want
children to grow up being able to interact with teachers coaches with
you know Scout leaders whomever and start seeing that people outside of the
nuclear family are trustworthy sharing and family responsibilities including
chores and decision making and that’s true for children teenagers and even
adults you know if you’re living in the same household it
important that everybody feels like they have a say in what’s happening
and participates in the upkeep of the family environment and family
members are nurturing and support each other and this is one where I tend to
stop and I do a love languages little mini class to help people remember that
we don’t always experience nurturance in the same way so understanding one
another’s love language is really important to be able to nurture in a
way that’s meaningful to that other person peer and family interventions are
designed to identify norms goals and expectations in the family foster family
problem-solving skills so there’s not just one person always fixing it develop
structure and consistency within the family unit promote healthy
relationships and engage peers and family of choice in the recovery process
so if somebody’s already depressed we need to be able to hopefully engage
everybody that’s involved in this person’s immediate environment in
helping them move towards recovery and you know preferably not dragging them
back down so we want to engage them and make sure that people have a supportive
others school and work risk factors lack of clear expectations both academic or
performance-wise and behavioral lack of commitment or sense of belonging at
school or at work if you just kind of go and you feel like a number you punch in
punch out that may not make you feel appreciated which can contribute
to depression and you know just bad feelings high numbers of students
failing academically at school and work translates to high amounts of
turnover if you never know who’s going to get laid off it increases stress and
anxiety and parents and community members who are not actively involved
in keeping kids in school and helping make sure that the workforce workforce
is strong but we want to make sure that people have access to how
when it’s needed we want to make sure that people have access to tutoring in
school if they need it to prevent failing school they have access to
transportation to get to work now those are things those are meta concepts that
are more on the community level but it’s important that as a community member you
know we look at different things that we may be able to participate in advocacy
and say you know it’s really important to get a bus system going I live out
about 30 miles east of Nashville and we must have the
the train that goes from my city out to Nashville so people have
access to more jobs so that was important for us to get past the City
Commission protective factors school and work positive attitudes gotta find a
reason why you’re doing this you know and sometimes it’s hard to find a reason
for algebra but we need to help kids find a reason for that we need to help
adults find a reason for why they’re going to work why are they doing what
they’re doing regular attendance shows you know it is associated with higher
mood less less risk of mood or addictive disorders because you’re able to get up
and do it and interface with people and get that social support hopefully from
your colleague’s high expectations are communicated effectively in setting
and positive social development is encouraged you know whether it’s at work
or at school, there are goals there are things you’ve got to accomplish there
are performance objectives but we also want to encourage morale and positive
social bonding whatever the setting having a positive instructional climate
again whether at work or school, I know we learn things when we’re on the
job we learn things and I don’t want people to feel like they’re having
difficulty like they’re stupid I want people to feel like anything that we
teach them as a challenge and something that may be beneficial down the road
leadership and decision-making opportunities are really important again
for students or employees to prevent burnout keep morale up reduce
anxiety and increase a sense of personal empower
and connection and active involvement for everybody is fostered and the school or
organization is responsive to the student’s needs making sure that in
school in the case of school they have access to tutoring resources it’s a safe
environment for them to be in and the children that are going to that school
have enough food in their bellies you know they can’t learn if they’re
hungry all the time workplace is a little bit different but we still need
to be responsive to people’s needs in terms of you know family requirements
whether they need to if they’re going back to school
shifting schedules a little bit we need to try to work with people instead of
being completely rigid and it’s my way or the highway when possible to
promote the best mental health characteristics of settings in which
relationships are often associated with the development of mood disorders and
addictive behaviors so we want to look at the characteristics of schools that are
they safe are they positive environments are they cheering squads or are they
places where people know they’re gonna go and get thrown under the bus
same thing with workplaces you know when you walk into a place you get most of
we get a sense and you’re either like oh this is a cool place to work or oh I
can’t wait til I can get out of here you know we want to go toward the
other end and neighborhoods when you go into a neighborhood – people take care
of their environment do they or do they have trash strewn all over their lawn
all of these things communicate how people feel about their environment and
generally how they feel about themselves and whether they have the energy to take
care of stuff or they just feel completely disenfranchised and don’t
care more about community risk factors no sense of
connection to the community neighborhood disorganization rapid changes high
unemployment a lack of strong social institutions lack of monitoring of youths
activities imbalanced media portrayals of safety health and appropriate
behavior misleading advertising and alcohol or drugs readily available
a lot of stuff we do we’re not going to be able to affect on the community level
so much but we’re gonna hit them real quick we want to improve the climate
process and policies within community schools and workplaces to make it safe and
promote positive health behaviors prevention strategies are designed to
reduce social isolation reduce and address stigma increase awareness of
local recovery models you know who’s out there that has recovered and can serve
as a role model improve economic and housing opportunities so people have a
house a safe roof over their head and they can you know earn money and feel
good about themselves increasing the accuracy and improving the positivity of
media messages and increasing physical and financial ability availability of
recovery so like I said I live in a little town so it’s nice that we have
a community mental health center here so people don’t have to rely on going into
Nashville but also making sure that services are financially available
whether you have a free clinic once a month or you know make sure you’ll you
take Medicaid but there are still a lot of people who have no insurance so where do
they go the socio-ecological model identifies
how the end the individual impacts and is impacted by not only his own
characteristics but also those of family peers community and culture prevention
takes the form of preventing the problem preventing the worsening of the problem and
preventing associated fallout like I said as clinicians a lot of what we’re
going to do is target the individual providing them with resiliency skills to deal
with some of this adversity that might be around them and to help them sort
through some of those media messages and go yeah
that’s not even true you know if I drink this vodka I’m not suddenly going to
have 14 supermodels hanging on me or whatever it is that’s being communicated
so encouraging people to be informed and Wylie consumers any change in the
the system will affect other parts of this system so if it’s a
positive change is probably going to have positive changes negative has
negative changes addressing addictive and mood disorder behaviors require a
the multi-pronged approach we need to look at the individual and you know provide
provide as many skills as possible there because that’s where we’re going to have
a lot of our impact especially in prevention but we also need to
realize that this person resides within a family you know whether they live
alone which sometimes is less problematic or they live in a household
with other people, we need to make sure that where they lay their heads at night
where they spend their non-working hours feel safe and is conducive to recovery
where they work or go to school also needs to feel safe and be conducive to
recovery and that’s part of the community so we need to kind of look at
these areas and if they aren’t safe or they don’t feel safe or aren’t conducive
to recovery, we need to help people how to figure out how they can fix that or
address it like I said they may not be able to move so what can you do to set
some boundaries to create as much safety as you can how can you do this and there
are a lot of different techniques that I’m sure you already have that you used
to help people but it’s important again not to just focus on the individual
because they don’t live in a bubble we need to look at everything right and are
Are there any questions now we have or I have added a Wednesday
class, so you don’t don’t have to come but if you have unlimited
membership same time same station Wednesday so Tuesday Wednesday and
Thursday we have a class from noon. CST 1 p.m. EST 2 for an hour all righty I will talk to y’all maybe
tomorrow maybe on Thursday have a great day if you enjoy this podcast please like
and subscribe either in your podcast player or on YouTube you can attend and
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coupon code consular toolbox to get a 20% discount off your order this month.As found on YouTubeI thought my anxiety disorder was for life… $49.⁰⁰ But I Discovered How Hundreds Of Former Anxiety Sufferers Melted Away Their Anxiety And Now Live Relaxed, Happy Lives – With No Trace Of Anxiety Or Depression At All! http://flywait.anxiety4.hop.clickbank.net We’ve seen so many people go anxiety-free that we have no hesitation in guaranteeing this program. So… If at any time within 60 days of you purchasing ‘Overthrowing Anxiety’, your anxiety hasn’t completely evaporated then you can have all your money back. No questions asked! You can do this for yourself today. You can start making a difference in your life right now. Click on the button below and you’ll receive your copy of Overthrowing Anxiety in just a few minutes. It’ll be one of the best decisions you’ve ever made – guaranteed! http://flywait.anxiety4.hop.clickbank.net
This episode was pre-recorded
As part of a live continuing education webinar on-demand CEUs are
still available for this presentation through all CEUs registered at all
CEUs.com/counselor toolbox I’d like to welcome everybody to today’s
presentation we’re going to return to talking about vulnerabilities and this is a topic
We’ve covered it before, but you know I don’t seem to be able to say enough about it so we’re going to
talk some more about it we’re going to define what vulnerabilities are and you know I expand
the definition more than what occurred in dialectical behavior therapy because I think there
are a lot of other resources or vulnerabilities out there sorry I’m trying to read two things at
Once anyhow we’re going to identify some of the most common vulnerabilities as I define them so
We’re going to go beyond sleep in nutrition and we’re going to look at environmental vulnerabilities…
Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses, and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com A direct link to the CEU course is https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/i…
Nurses, addiction and #mentalhealth#counselors, #socialworkers, and marriage and family therapists can earn #CEUs for this and other presentations at AllCEUs.com #AllCEUs courses are accepted in most states because we are approved as an education provider for NAADAC, the States of Florida and Texas Boards of Social Work and Mental Health/Professional Counseling, the California Consortium for Addiction Professionals and Professions.
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This episode was pre-recorded
as part of a live continuing education webinar on-demand CEUs are
still available for this presentation through all CEUs registered at all
CEUs comm slash counselor toolbox I’d like to welcome everybody today to the
presentation love me doesn’t leave me addressing fears of abandonment the purpose of this
presentation is really to help us help clients increase their awareness of their story including
beliefs about behavioral reactions to situations that trigger their fear of abandonment so how
do we do that well the first thing we need to figure out is what fear of abandonment is and how
can we identify it in a clinical set setting then we’re going to explore the concept of schemas or
core beliefs and these are things that are formed in early childhood you know if you remember
prior classes we’ve talked about early childhood cognition is generally very dichotomous in children
Young children can’t look at that gray area so these schemas if they’ve gone
unchecked can lead to some very extreme belief patterns which lead us into common traps in
thinking reacting and relationships if your schemas are based on all-or-nothing you either
love me or you’re going to leave me hence the name of the book then your reactions are going to
tend to be more extreme and more all-or-nothing which increases anxiety because then anytime
a person who perceives any amount of disapproval is going to go to that extreme so we
want to talk about bringing it more toward the middle line and helping people learn to appreciate
and love themselves for themselves while they may not approve of the behaviors of other people they can
still love other people so just because somebody doesn’t approve of your behavior doesn’t mean
necessarily that they’re going to abandon you so we’re going to talk about that and then we’ll
learn skills necessary to help people accept their past as part of their story maybe they do
have a lot of abandonment issues and you know some people do and it is painful it cuts
to the core especially when those abandonment issues occur in early childhood when kids going
what that does so we’re going to talk about that and help people learn how to integrate it into
their present and we’ll learn the skills necessary to acknowledge that their past does not have to
continue to negatively impact them in the present so if they were abandoned when they were a child
you know we need to deal with that however if they continue to expect that every significant person
in their life will abandon them notice I use the word every because we’re still in those extremes
then they’re going to think that the past is negatively impacting them in the present so we’ll talk about
how to sort of moderate those belief systems how does this impact recovery whether you’re talking
about addiction or mental health issues connection is a basic human need we are not meant for the
most part to be Hermits in the middle of the woods there are introverts and in my husband’s an
introvert he has a couple of excellent friends he needs quiet time each day he doesn’t need to
be surrounded by people and he’s fine but I mean we’ve got human connection he’s not going to be
one that’s just going to you know move out to the middle of nowhere I’m an extrovert on the other
hand and I tend to have a lot of acquaintances and a lot of friends I draw energy from
being around other people so just because someone doesn’t have 150 acquaintances doesn’t
necessarily mean they don’t need connections so we want to recognize that connection is a basic
human need when infants are born they are put on their mother’s chest when we embrace each
other whether it’s mother and child or friends or whatever a chemical called oxytocin is released
and it’s our bonding chemical we are programmed we are hardwired for connection and oxytocin is a
very rewarding chemical so we want to recognize this that if people are so afraid of abandonment
that they push everybody away what are they losing as far as quality of life as infants and children
survival is dependent upon the relationship with the primary caregiver so if mom or dad wasn’t
happy if mom or dad was rejecting the young child was pretty much helpless to think about a child
who’s growing up in a family that’s just riddled with addiction and mental health issues and the
primary caregiver or caregivers are completely emotionally unavailable they may be physically
there but they may be so high or so depressed or so psychotic that they cannot attend to the
child’s needs what does that communicate to the child the child feels abandoned the child
feels a sense of neglect for people’s beliefs about other people and relationships were formed largely
based on their interactions with their caregivers so if this child was going Mom I’m hungry and
nothing happened or worse yet child was going Mom I’m terrified and nothing happened or they
were just given a pacifier and told to shut up then that is they were told they were communicated
to that, their beliefs their feelings their wants, and their needs were not important so they were
being rejected healthy relationships serve up as a buffer against stress so even if they had all
these negative experiences in early childhood teenage years you know maybe up until
they walked into your office it doesn’t mean it has to continue and how much can they gain from
having healthy relationships with a lot of clients that I work with who have pretty significant
abandonment issues can’t even fathom trusting someone enough to be in a healthy relationship so
we’re going to talk about how to sort of ease into that because you’re not going to say don’t let
your past influence your future and we’ll wave a magic wand and they’re ready to trust people
even once you point out that what happened in the past was largely not their fault or maybe not
even if their fault at they they’re still going to have difficulty not accepting responsibility
and going everybody leaves me so what talk about that addressing beliefs that formed as a result
of these relationships the past dysfunctional relationships we can help people create a
new understanding of events was mom or dad or caregiver being rejecting were you being
abandoned emotionally and physically because of you or because mom or dad just was able to do what
they needed to do to be a caregiver then they were doing the best they could with
the tools they had but it wasn’t enough to meet your needs so we want to talk about alternate
explanations for why parents and caregivers may have behaved in that way if you have a young child well
an adult now but who was put up for adoption or abandoned by their caregivers at a young age the
a young child was probably very confused because one moment their caregiver was there in the
next moment they were in the system so they were trying to figure out what did they do wrong and why
doesn’t that person love me anymore it must be me because children really can’t see well you
know mom is not able to function as a parent right now or dad is having difficulty coping we
want to help people better understand themselves in their reactions so that when they start getting
this urge to just cut all ties and be like you know what fine you know I’ll take my ball and go
home no problem what does that mean at there’s a certain point in all relationships in all healthy
relationships that you know sometimes people have to distance themselves from one another because
it’s becoming dysfunctional but for the most part, people will in relationships encounter
hiccups will encounter disagreements but in healthy relationships, they can work through
them in relationships with people who fear abandonment there are going to be two extremes
there’s going to be complete compliance and please don’t leave me or complete disengagement
and whatever I don’t care the final thing we want to do is help make people more conscious of
what they’re doing so they can make healthy decisions in their current relationships so when
they get that urge to either comply or disengage is that a healthy normative reaction right now
or are you reacting out of your past experiences the abandonment experience in childhood survival
depends on caregivers a four-year-old left alone for five days is not going to do so well you
know they may be able to scavenge food but once the food runs out where do they get it you
know there’s only so much that a child can do an infant can’t even get food
so survival depends on their caregivers and if their caregivers fail to meet those needs there are
high levels of anxiety and I will refer regularly to emotionally unavailable caregivers
and emotionally absent in addition to physically unavailable or absent because some parents and I
worked in the field of co-occurring disorders for over two decades and some parents just they are so
overwhelmed and so paralyzed by life itself they can’t even attend to anything else that’s going
on they’re doing good just to be breathing but if they have a child and that child’s needs are
getting neglected and fear of abandonment is a natural survival response when your food source goes away
what happens you start to freak the freak out so this is normal we look at this and say that that’s
that’s natural if a child thinks about the first time you take a child to kindergarten or pre-k
or daycare or whatever it is and you drop the child off even if they’re securely attached what
do they cry because they’re afraid that mom or dad won’t come back and they’re afraid of
this new situation that’s changed securely attached children will you know to adjust and then be happy to
see mom or dad when they come back but the point is there’s that initial oh crap reaction meeting
biological needs and safety are key triggers for anxiety at any age so we’re talking about housing
we’re talking about safety we’re thinking about Maslow’s hierarchy if somebody is not meeting the
child’s needs or if the person is not getting their needs met then they may have high levels
of anxiety and I add to the safety concept not only physical safety but also emotional safety
people need to feel safe in their heads and they need to be free from emotional abuse when
focused on survival people can’t focus elsewhere so if they’re not getting their physical needs
met guess what you know if you take somebody who is in pain who is sick who is hungry and who is
homeless are they going to work on self-esteem are they going to work on relationship skills
no, they’re focused on survival they need to have those basic needs met they need to have a certain
sense of security if they are in a situation that is dangerous physically obviously they’re not
going to be focusing on how I can better myself when they’re worried about somebody coming in
and hurting them physically likewise, it’s hard to focus on how can I better myself when everywhere
they turn they perceive someone telling us you’re not okay you’re stupid you’re lazy you’re bad
you were the worst decision I ever made in my life they can’t focus on personal growth when
all they’re getting is these verbal beatdowns all the time so people need to have acceptance if
they don’t have acceptance kind the opposite of acceptance is abandonment two kinds of extremes
again we’ll bring it back to the middle every stressful situation becomes a crisis the in
securely attached child now you can go back to and read Bowlby’s work on secure and all that kind
of stuff great reading but for the short version of this presentation remember that certs securely
attached children feel anxiety when their parents leave but then they can adjust and they’re happy
to see the parents return in securely attached children feel a great amount of anxiety when
their parents leave and are terrified that mom or dad won’t come back and then when mom or dad does
come back it’s your very very clingy or very very rejecting so with this child that’s in securely
attached it’s just like one to a hundred as soon as something happens that they think they may be
abandoned you see this pattern again in adults who are still struggling with these abandonment issues
that schema that they’ve formed and I’m getting a little ahead of myself that schema that they form
says if you let this person at your site or if this person disagrees with you or if this person
criticizes you they’re rejecting you and they’re going to abandon you so we want to you know check
in with those cognitions and look for trying to make those thoughts a little bit more helpful in
infancy or early childhood if caregivers were away for long periods because of work because
of the military if they were in jail if they just chose to be away or if they passed away children
may experience some abandonment issues now if the parents are away because a parent is a way
because of work or military or even jail and the other parent can help the child work through it
there’s much less drama if you will there’s much less issue with abandonment issues in totality
now if it’s whatever parent it is if the pay if the father happened to be the one went away
that person may have some residual issues with adult figures in their life that they need to deal
with but they may not know I’m not saying that every child of a soldier or a service person
is going to have abandonment issues that are so not true however if the experiences of the time
apart was not handled in a way where the child felt secure then it could have consequences that
are going into the present day if in early childhood caregivers were consistently or unpredictably
physically or emotionally present so think about a parent who has major recurrent major depressive
disorder addiction or is just ill-equipped to deal with a child when I was working at the treatment
center in Florida I had 14 15 16 year old young women coming in and having babies and you know
what does a 14-year-old know about giving birth and raising a child it’s not that they weren’t
necessarily trying you know they didn’t have great role models raising them in most cases and so they
don’t have anything to work with they don’t know how to be a parent they’ve never been taught so
it’s not always I don’t want to pathologize or make the parents look like bad people because
I believe that people do the best they can with the tools they have at any given time parents
don’t choose to be sucky parents sometimes it happens but I don’t believe they choose to
anyhow off my soapbox in later childhood as the child becomes elementary school middle school
age if they’re a poor family fit or they feel like they’re the black sheep they just don’t
have the same beliefs that the other people do they don’t seem to have the same interest that
their family does they may not feel accepted especially if the family’s going no that’s wrong
to believe and invalidate them so going back to that psychological safety if they’re constantly
being told their ideas are stupid they’re wrong they have the wrong point of view and they can
feel very isolated something can happen that ruptures the relationship with the primary care
giver whether it’s abuse or you know some other trauma and introduction of a new less
emotionally or physically safe caregiver can also lead to abandonment if the child feels like the
biological caregiver chose a new spouse over him or her say if you see where I’m going with that
because if this new person comes in and is less safe is abusive in some way emotionally physically
sexually it doesn’t matter the child is going to feel like they didn’t have a voice the child
is going to feel like the biological caregiver didn’t care and brought this other person in
any way which leads to feelings of rejection and abandonment so what are the reactions
fight-or-flight whenever there’s a threat we fall back to fight or flight or freeze but we’ll
talk about that when there’s a threat our anxiety goes up and we say in the past in these kinds of
situations, if I fought, did I succeed if so then we’ve got fights in the past did I succeed, and if
the answer’s no then the response is to flee pretty simply so anger towards someone unavailable
if they got angry and felt like it got them some sort of acceptance from somewhere that might
be the prevailing reaction sadness when someone goes away a sense of helplessness this person
just left me shame or self-anger about feeling needy or about pushing someone away with fears related
to rejection and isolation, nobody will ever love my loss of control or the unknown everybody
always leaves see how I’m using these extreme words again and fear of failure I can’t maintain
a relationship nobody wants to be with me because I’m not good enough so the questions for clients
in these situations what caused these fears as a child so when someone starts to have these fears
about a relationship, if the relationship starts to get rocking first question is what is it that
you’re afraid of in this situation if you stay together what is it that you’re afraid of if this
the person leaves what is it you’re afraid of and how likely is it that this person is going to leave
based on whatever is going on right now so let’s get some objective evidence here and another
the tool you can use is the challenging questions worksheet in cognitive processing therapy if
you google it challenging questions worksheet CPT or cognitive processing therapy helps
people walk through the logic in some of their cognitions and identify some known as unhelpful
distortions so then after you figure out kind of what the fear is then we say what caused that as
a child in the past when you felt like this what caused that and how was this reasonable or helpful
you know in the past when you felt like this and you reacted in anger what was the outcome and
how was it helpful in some sort of way you know did it get somebody to pay attention to you did
it gets somebody to come to comfort you, okay so you were identifying the function of the current
behaviors and then we want to say what causes these fears now a lot of times it’s the same symp
or similar stuff but we could say how are these reactions now unhelpful because as independent you
know adult-type people we can fend for ourselves we can put food on the table we can go to work we
can do we can function independently whereas this is a child we couldn’t you know there were just
some barriers to that does that mean again that we should live in isolation and say well
I don’t need anybody no that’s not what I’m saying what I’m saying is is these fears that
are overwhelming about abandonment that causes people to push others away or cling on like you
know whatever clings on uh are these reactions helpful in the present day you know do you still
need to hold on to people like there’s no tomorrow temperament based on their temperament children
need different types and amounts of caregiver interaction um some children are wide open and
easily overstimulated you know my son was that way when he was born well to this very day um
when he’s awake he is like the Energizer Bunny on methamphetamine I’m he’s just going going
going and talking and talking to himself and he needed a lot of structure and he would get
overstimulated easily but we were able to help him figure out how to handle that instead of
getting mad at him for what seemed to be acting out we were able to help him channel and figure
out when he needed to take a break the introvert may not need as much one-on-one attention with
the caregiver may need a comforting word here and there but they may not need the amount of
the attention that an extrovert may need an extrovert tends to need more interaction with parents with
family with other people because they draw energy and they think while they talk and they think
while they talk with other people so they feel a lot more isolated if they are isolated so we
want to understand the person’s temperament and how they may or may not have gotten their needs
met how they may have been told they were wrong and invalidated when they were younger and you
can hear some of this is kind of going towards Linda hands DBT environment um but what we want to
look at what you need now how can we create an environment that’s accepting and welcoming
to you now based on their needs and caregivers’ reactions children form schemas or core beliefs
about the world and others so if they state their opinion and it’s squashed or it’s ridiculed then
they’re going to form this core belief that it is not safe ever to share my opinions because I am
always wrong now we’re talking about children here but a lot of times think back for yourself there I
think most of us have at least some all-or-nothing dichotomous thoughts that come in every once in
a while and you know we can catch them but if these dichotomies go unaddressed the person starts
feeling very lost and very abandoned because it’s all-or-nothing important points about children
under 7 from 8 to 12 children are developing alternative cognitive skills they’re
starting to be able to think abstractly they’re starting to be able to see the gray area and
alternate explanations but even you know during that period so zero to 12 children are having
difficulty envisioning all the possibilities so anything that happens before that we want to
encourage them to look at the schemas that were formed and challenge them to examine whether they
are currently accurate and helpful children think dichotomously when they’re that young it’s all
or nothing it’s good or bad it’s not kind of sort of something it is what it is I mean even think
about thinking back to grades that we would get it was satisfactory or unsatisfactory there was
no ABCD F when we were in elementary school and I don’t remember middle school then it was a
dichotomous grading scale you either did it or you didn’t children are egocentric so whatever happens
they say what was it about me that made this happen if mom’s in a bad mood what did I do if
you know Mom is rejecting stupid well I’m stupid children are very egocentric so you take
all or nothing combined with all about me and you can see we’re creating the perfect storm of children
can only focus on one aspect at a time when I work with adult clients you know they come in and they
tell me that they had an interaction with their boss he was walking down the hall and he was in a
bad mood and I just knew I did something and so we talked about that and I’m like how do you know
that because he had it he had an angry look on his face okay what are some other possibilities what
else might have been going on with him then and a lot of times we can brainstorm
ideas about a call he just got or where they just left a meeting that didn’t go so well or who
knows what else in this day and time when we’ve got our cell phones and PDAs and everything
there are a lot of things that can trigger a mood besides just whoever you pass in the hallway
children can’t think about those other things that might have triggered the mood they see somebody
unhappy and they’re like I’m sorry um so we want to encourage as adults we want to encourage them
to say all right what are the other possibilities even as children I try to work with my kids
to encourage them to look at alternate reasons why somebody may be acting a certain way children
can’t think abstractly and consider those possible options um even with kids you know knee-high
to a grasshopper if you’re in a situation and maybe in a store and somebody behaves not kindly
to you, you can talk about that later with the kids and say you know that was kind of unpleasant to go
through what you think might have caused that and brainstorm three ideas my favorite number is
three I don’t know why but brainstorm three ideas for alternate explanations for why that person
may have been in an unpleasant mood if children learn to do this when they’re younger it’s a
a lot easier to transition to as adults schemas are a broad way of perceiving things based on
memories feelings and thoughts it’s our go-to perception of what something’s going
to be like we have schemas about everything if you go to church you have a schema about what’s
going to happen when you go to your mother’s house you have a schema about how mom’s going to
behave and what’s going to happen we form these it’s our brain’s short shortcut instead of having
to analyze every situation it says oh I remember this been here before it’s probably going to be
like X Y Z unfortunately sometimes things change and one of the things we see in addictions
treatment as is as caregivers into recovery and get a hold on it and start working that
a new way of life and sobriety and all that stuff old family members or family members still expect
that old behavior they have that schema that when Jane comes in this is what’s going to happen
because they’re remembering how she behaved and acted in her addictive self so we want to help
people identify their schemas and check them sometimes they’re still accurate sometimes not so
much schemas that trigger abandonment fear center around the cell acceptability is this person going
to like me which is one of the reasons we do a lot of self-esteem work in reducing abandonment fears
because we want to reduce the need for people to solicit external validation we want them to say
I’m all that and a bag of chips and I would love to play with you but if you don’t want to play
I’m okay with that love ability if they were told they were unlovable if they perceived
they were unlovable then in the present, they may fear isolation they may fear that they’re not
lovable so they will try to do whatever they can or likewise they will build a lead wall that is 5
feet thick around them so nobody can hurt them they may have fears about their own
competence you know thinking back to Erikson you never thought some of these theorists from the
past would keep coming up even in current practice but they do if a child going through that period
of industry versus inferiority Erik Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development and they felt
like a failure all the time or they were never good enough the parents never recognized their
positive achievements then they may question their competence and feel like a failure if they
feel like a failure they may feel they may believe that nobody wants to be around them so they will
leave so if I fail they will leave and fears may center around adaptability some people are not
able to tolerate any loss of control they’re just like that they’re holding on with a death grip to
the relationship to anything that’s going on and it starts to go wonky they are going to freak out
so we want to look at what does it mean if you’re not in control of everything what does it mean
if you trust that this person is going to do the next right thing if you are doing the next right
thing as well schemas that trigger abandonment fears can also be sent around center around others
if someone is rejecting distant cold or is unable to handle the person’s needs then the person may not
feel acceptable so if they are in relationships with people like this then we need to look at is
Is it you who’s not acceptable or is something else going on with that person that may be making
them unable to deal with anybody else’s stuff right now the person may feel isolated if other
people are absent if people fail to keep promises they may feel like nobody’s ever there for them
competence if other people are always critical then the person will question their competence
and if others are unpredictable a lot of the time when people who have anxiety about abandonment
they come from situations where other people have not been predictable or if they were they were
unpredictably absent and relationship of self to others if they are afraid about their ability to
relate with others if they’re afraid of rejection if they’re afraid that if they start to love they
will be rejected and then they will be isolated forever if they are afraid of the unknown and they
I just want consistency more than anything and as soon as consistency starts to waver a little
bit because as we grow things change and people with abandonment issues don’t like things to
change because that’s not predictable and that’s not consistent so they may have difficulty if one
the person starts to change what they do I see this a lot not saying that it’s an abandonment issue
necessarily but when law enforcement officers retire you know because they can retire after
20 years so they may start a new career and that causes a lot of change schedule changes
they’re not law enforcement anymore and the spouse sometimes has culty adjusting to it as
does the retired officer but controllability if the person holds on to relationships and
everything in their life with white knuckles because they’re so afraid if they let go of
control that they are going to disappear or disintegrate then if something seems like it’s not
in their control, it’s going to be a catastrophe so attachment Styles secure if there’s an
emotionally available caregiver the child will seek the caregiver for comfort and guess
what the caregiver will be there and will more often than not meet the need for comfort with the
the correct type of comfort so hungry cold scared kind of following the child’s upset when the caregiver
leaves especially in new situations but the child gets over it it’s not a child that’s going to sit
there and cry for eight hours and then the child’s happy when the caregiver returns in this kind of
attachment the child learns to trust others will be responsive to their needs and validate their
needs a child learns to be self-reliant and try new things but if they fail they know they can
return to the home base they can go out and go well that didn’t go as planned and the caregiver will be
there to say alright let’s figure out what to do next not You are such a failure the child learns
to adapt to a variety of situations because when they’ve been faced with something that’s a little
scary caregivers have been there to kind of coach them on and go you got this it’s scary I got it but
you can do it the child learns to deal with stress because the caregivers are there to coach them
or to process it with them afterward because the caregiver is not always physically there but if
you’ve got children you know sometimes they’ll come home from school and they’ve had a really
bad day and you’d pull them aside and go you know what’s going on let’s talk about it so in this way
the child learns to deal with stress and the child learns to have accurate expectations of others
in the secure attachment, emotionally available situation remember children are egocentric so
if mom’s upset the child goes what did I do or Oh my gosh I hope mom’s not going to leave in
a secure situation sometimes the parent has to say something like Mommy had a really bad day at
work today has nothing to do with you I need to go take a timeout that helps a child understand
that you know what it’s not all about me and I can understand that sometimes moms upset for
something besides me and I can understand that if moms Up said it doesn’t mean she’s going to
leave so obviously, this is the ideal situation avoidant attachment styles the rejecting or harsh
caregiver the person depends less on the caregiver for security because every time they go saying mom
Mom I had a nightmare can I come into bed with you they’re met with going back to your bed and the
caregiver rolls over it’s not oh I’m sorry you had a nightmare let me walk you back to your room
when the child is separated from the caregiver there’s little response when the caregiver leaves
or returns because the kids like what uses that person to me the child learns not to depend on
a caregiver for comfort connection or security now imagine yourself a four-year-old child or a
six-year-old child thinking I can’t count on my caregivers for comfort connection or security
that must be a terrifying place to be and I can see why you would develop some pretty strong
defense mechanisms the ambivalent relationship between the cave caregiver is inconsistent or can bow can’t
talk caregiver is inconsistent or chaotic this is true in a lot of homes where there are
at least one parent who is battling some sort of addiction or mental health issue so the parent
may or may not be available you don’t know what the good days are going to be you don’t know what
the bad days are going to be so the child may be anxious and afraid to try new things or explore
because they’re like things are going good right now I don’t want to top will be an applecart just
going to sit here and ride it out a child may be clinging and demanding trying to elicit a response
remembering negative attention is better than no attention at all and the child is upset when the
caregiver leaves but also inconsolable when the caregiver returns because you know I was upset
I was scared you went away but you came back and that’s good but I don’t know when you’re going
to go away again and if you’re going to come back so it’s this constant anxiety of abandonment
core abandonment beliefs all people leave so we want to challenge that by identifying exceptions
mistrust people will hurt reject take advantage of me or just not be there when I need them you
know what that’s true sometimes because people have their stuff so when this happens let’s
look at whether it’s happening all the time and/or let’s also look at what else might be going on
with that person that caused them to hurt reject take advantage or not be there when you needed
the emotional deprivation I never get the love I need nobody understands me cares about me or even
ever tries to meet my needs here how dramatic and extreme that is so one of the things as clinicians
we can do is say if you are getting the love you needed what would it look like what
would be different what is it that you need that you’re not getting once we identify
then we can create a plan to get it but a lot of times other people don’t understand or may not
be able to interpret what you need so let’s help let’s try to figure out how to make this happen
nobody understands me alright let’s talk about why that might be and you know let’s look at some
people who’ve kind of gotten a grasp sometimes with clients with abandonment beliefs nobody
understands me translates to I don’t give a buddy a chance and I cut them off as soon as they become
confused and because they associate confusion with rejection so we might talk about communication
skills we might work on what it is that people don’t understand and how to better communicate
that and where to find people who have similar interests nobody ever even tries to meet my needs
you know where I would look for exceptions but I would also challenge the person and I would
say when do you meet your needs what do you do to take care of yourself a lot of times
clients with abandonment beliefs are so freaked out and afraid of being abandoned that they’re
not taking care of themselves either they’re just living and paralyzed going back to fight
flee or freeze they’re living a paralyzed state of I want to be loved but if I love I’m gonna get
hurt and I don’t know what to do they don’t even love themselves so we want to start talking about
if you had your best friend you know create this best friend persona what would he or she say to
you what would he or she do right now let’s try to help you understand yourself with mindfulness exercises
are good here because a lot of times these clients don’t understand themselves they’ve got
so much anxiety they’re so afraid and they don’t know where it’s coming from because a lot of
it has been going on for so long defectiveness if people knew me they would reject me you know
not everybody’s going to like you why do you need everybody to like you why is it important that
everybody likes you and failure I don’t measure up and I’m not able to succeed I usually put pull
out the obnoxious quote that if you haven’t failed you haven’t tried and we talked about what it
means to get outside your comfort zone and you’re not going to be perfect at everything you’re not
going to be Michael Phelps you’re not going to be the president of the United States that doesn’t
mean that you’re a failure that doesn’t mean you’re a failure so what things are you
good at what can you and have you succeeded at and go back and look over things like you graduated
high school not everybody does that you know raised a family, not everybody does that so we
want to challenge all nothing’ languages we want to look for exceptions and we want to look
for in what ways can you provide yourself the validation so you don’t fear abandonment you don’t
need other people to tell you you’re okay because guess what you’re telling yourself I’m okay and
before I go on to unhelpful reactions I do want to point out that if we tell people to tell
themselves you know I’m okay that sounds great but if they don’t believe it if it’s not supported
with evidence, it’s probably going to slow their growth because they’re sitting there going
telling themselves I’m okay and in the back of their head going you know you’re not so we need
to get that internal critical voice to kind of hush up by providing the person with the objective
evidence of why they’re okay why they’re good enough and that’s a slow process it’s not going
to happen overnight but encourage people to figure out why they believe what they believe and then
you can work from there okay unhelpful reactions fighting with someone you don’t want to leave
me because so the person may engage in a dominant sort of posturing behavior aggression hostility
blaming and criticizing trying to tear down the other person to say you know what I don’t care
and it would help if you were grateful that I’m in your life recognizing and seeking to get attention and validation
or approval so if they feel something’s going wrong in a relationship they may start trying to
do something to gain recognition to prove that they’re worthy of a relationship for what they do
versus who they are manipulation and exploitation said lying justifying I did this because you made
me so sometimes we all occasionally do things that aren’t the nicest people who fear abandonment
have difficulty saying you know what I screwed up and they’re more likely to go you made me do
I wouldn’t have done it if you would have X Y & Z people again who are worried about a relationship
is going to fall apart and may also make excuses for other people’s inappropriate behavior it’s like
you know I hate what this person does but if I don’t make excuses for it if I condemn it
then this person is going to leave in counseling we can talk about the difference between loving a
person and loving a person’s behavior you know I love my kids to death there is no question about
that but some of their behavior makes me want to climb a wall I’m very clear to separate from them
the difference between the behavior that I dislike and them because you know like I said I love them
to pieces and we want to help people start making this differentiation if they don’t do it already
and clinging and chasing is the other fight reaction stalking and messaging somebody 47 times on
Facebook in an hour all these kinds of behaviors and even online bullying those sorts of things can
be fight reactions in response to feeling like there’s a threat of abandonment flight is more
of the I don’t care if you leave so the person will withdraw physically and emotionally and
maybe even numb themselves with some sort of addictive behavior or distract themselves with
something completely different or find a new person just proof that you know what I didn’t
need you because I’ve got this new person now questions for clients about core beliefs
all people leave okay so what does it look like if somebody’s available to you if they
don’t abandon you who in your past left you or was unavailable emotionally now a lot of
I find it helpful for mental health and addiction clients to have them write an
autobiography because then we can go back and kind of review it and identify the core
people at certain stages in a person’s life what did the person who left you do to make you
feel rejected or abandoned in retrospect you know it was hard to see the difference what
was going on back then because you were a kid in retrospect what are the alternate explanations
for why this may have happened was it you or was it more about them who in your past
has been available to you emotionally most of the time people can point to one maybe two people
who have generally been there it’s unreasonable to expect someone always to be there who in your
present is available to you emotionally you know maybe they’ve only been in your life for six
months or a year but they are available and I say emotionally because you know not everybody can
be available physically all the time we’ve got jobs kids all that kind of stuff but can you pick
up the phone and call them or text them and say hey you know what I’m struggling right now
what do you do in your current relationships that cause people to leave do you push them away if so
how what are alternatives to pushing them away cutting all ties and just saying fine be that way
I wipe my hands off you if you cling how do you do this in what ways do you perceive yourself as
being clinging and what are some alternatives to holding on with all desperation and mistrust people
will hurt reject or take advantage of me or just not be there when I need them so again what does
it looks like when somebody’s or what does it feel like when someone is trustworthy and safe who in
your past was untrustworthy or unsafe what do they do they taught you this and what are alternate
explanations who in your past has been trustworthy and safe who in your present is available and
trustworthy What do you do to yourself that is unsafe or dishonest that’s one of those tricky
questions you’re there talking about other people other people then it’s like what
do you do to yourself how do you lie to your self or how are you mean and hateful to yourself
how does your distrust of other people or even yourself impact your current relationships some
people distrust their internal intuition so much that they don’t want to make friends with
other people, they’re like I can’t tell who’s going to hurt me and who won’t so just yeah I’m
going to wipe my hands of it all what could you do differently what do you think you could do
to start building trust and what does it look like to build trust because Trust doesn’t
just appear it builds gradually emotional deaths deprivation I don’t get the love I need nobody
understands me so again what does it look like when somebody understands you and meets your
needs who in the past failed to meet your needs emotionally and how can you deal with that now
you know it may have been mom it may have been ex-husband it may have been you know who knows
how can you deal with it now yourself so you can put it to rest who in your past is understood
you who in your present understands you how can you start again better understanding yourself
because it’s hard for other people to understand us when we don’t even understand ourselves and
what can you do to start getting your needs met one of the things was starting to get your own
needs met is to figure out what your needs are and this is one of the exercises I have people do as
a homework assignment they keep track of what is it they want daily keep a log and then
let’s talk about what common themes were seeing if people knew me they would reject me okay so how
do you know when you’re accepted or acceptable to someone who when you’re past may make you feel
defective are there alternate explanations and how can you silence those old tapes because
that person that statement stays as a heckler in the gallery we need to hush the heckler what
can you do part of it could be talking back and saying you know what I’m not going to listen
or I don’t have time for this right now who’s been accepting and supportive who is in your life
that’s accepting and supportive and how can you start accepting yourself and being compassionate
so some compassion focus training mindfulness work to help people understand themselves and start
being compassionate with themselves understanding their vulnerabilities and cutting themselves some
slack I don’t measure up I’m not able to succeed okay that’s a pretty big success you know what
is what success means success means different things to different people so what does it look
like to you to be successful let’s kind of hammer that out what is it if you are successful what
would be different what in your past has made you feel like a failure what are some alternate
ways of viewing it such as a learning experience or something I had to go through to grow or you
know brainstorming alternate explanations for why people fail they don’t have a response to
sometimes I ask them to kind of take on a flip role and say pretend you’re a parent and
your child comes home and they’ve tried out for the football team and they didn’t make the team
they failed what are you going to tell on what have you succeeded at doing in the past what are
you good at in the present and we want to pay attention to minimization here because a
a lot of our clients are not good at identifying their strengths what does being successful mean in
terms of your relationship with others do you have to be successful to be loved and be a
good relationship you know you’re going to be successful in a relationship if you’re
but do you have to be financially successful and powerful whatever you define success as in
order to be in healthy relationships who are three successful people you know and what makes
them successful in your eyes does success equal happiness you can do a whole group on that and
what do your kids need to do to be successful in life you know we want our kids to succeed we
want our kids to be happy so what is it that I envision my child’s life to be 10 to 15 years from
now triggering relationships the abandoner is unpredictable unstable and unavailable the
abusive relationship is untrustworthy and unsafe the deprived err depriving relationship the
a person is detached or withholding the Devastator is always judgmental rejecting and critical and
the critic is critical and narcissistic usually a lot of times people replay their past to try to
kind of get it right the second time so we want to look at do you have a habit of getting into
relationships with people who are not safe we can also ask them how do you exhibit these behaviors
in what ways are these behaviors present your current relationships and in what ways were these
present and your primary caregiver relationships behavioral triggers abandonment and mistrust
if somebody starts acting differently they change their behavior in some way a person who fears
abandonment goes oh that’s not good if they’re not getting constant reassurance that’s
that external validation can trigger abandonment fears so again we want to work
on internal validation and why is it that you feel you need constant reassurance from the other
person’s relationships feel threatening so work relationships those sorts of things the
a person who has abandonment issues won’t want their significant other around other people
and they become hyper-vigilant to rejection and disconnection even if it’s just somebody
going I had a really bad day I need 20 minutes and go into the room and shut the door
the person with abandonment issues will likely have a high level of anxiety so we want to ask
how these behaviors have threatened them in the past what are alternate explanations for why this
is happening with this person right now and what would be a helpful reaction to these behaviors
now so this is happening what would be a helpful reaction instead of assuming that the sky is
going to fall defectiveness and failure so if somebody is critical if they have unexplained time
apart there’s absent or inconsistent reassurance or if the person tells them they’re a failure
these or they fail at something these could all be behavioral triggers they could be like I
failed at something I’m not getting reassurance this relationship is fixin’ to end questions how
is this threatened you in the past alternate explanations and what would be a helpful
reaction to this particular situation right now envisioning activity what does a healthy
the relationship looks like presence versus abandonment acceptance versus rejection emotional support
versus emotional unavailability trustworthy versus untrustworthy and safe versus harmful
these are extremes what does it look like to be a middle ground there are going to be exceptions
you know things are going to happen so what does a healthy relationship look like and how do you
deal with exceptions if somebody’s not always present how can you create this relationship with
yourself that’s the big one and then how can you create this relationship with others’ mindfulness
questions what am I feeling what’s triggering it am I safe right now and if not what do I need to
is this bringing up something from the past if so how is this different how am I different
then I was when I was six or four and how can I silence my inner critic and finally what
would be a helpful reaction that would move me more toward my goals and a positive
emotional experience summary core beliefs about the self and others are formed in early
life due to children’s lack of knowledge of other experiences and primitive cognitive abilities
these core beliefs are often very dichotomous core beliefs can be formed around events or
experiences outside of the conscious memory identifying and being mindful of abandonment
triggers in the present can help people choose alternate more helpful ways of responding in
the present in Secure and Loved loved me don’t leave me are two excellent books
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a 20% discount off your order this month you As found on YouTubeSeanCooper🗯 The Shyness & Social Guy ⇝ The 3 WORST Mistakes You Must AVOID If You Want To Overcome Shyness (PLUS: 1 weird trick that targets the root biological cause of shyness so you can stop being nervous, awkward, and quiet around people…) http://flywait.darekw.hop.clickbank.net/ By Sean Cooper, The Shyness & Social Anxiety Guy. The fact that you’re reading this article tells me you may have already reached a point where you feel your shyness is NOT going away on its own… or you fear it’s getting worse and worse. And I don’t want you to waste one more day living a life where you feel left out, bored, or depressed because you don’t have the relationships which would make you happy. That’s why I’ve put together this page to help you avoid the worst mistakes that keep many people stuck with shyness for years… often giving up hope of ever improving as you watch other people have interesting “normal” lives without you. Yet this doesn’t have to happen.
Alright, we are living. Welcome, guys. Welcome to the journey within It’s a journey of deconstruction and reconstruction of death and rebirth and today, I’ve got a very special hello hypnotist the founder of Twin Ravens Hypnotherapy and Research J Robert, Parker, In The House. Thanks for having me, man. Thank you. Thank you, dude. I think this will be a fun conversation cuz I mean, we. Absolutely. We both study hypnosis and I’d be very interested to get your perspective, you know, and how you got into this. So, um yeah, if you can share a little bit about who you are, how did you even get into this strange world of hypnosis? Uh, that’s an odd story. Um so, previously before the pandemic had been working as a chef uh that restaurant was actually where I met my partner. We did the stereotypical line cook ends up with the waitress thing. Interesting. And uh the the pandemic hit. And I had kinda seen the writing on the wall long before it had an effect. Long story short, you’ll say we both ended up out of jobs and it failed me to kinda pull something out of my bag of tricks to make money. I live in a very, very small town and there’s not a lot of ways to go about that. So, I ended up reading tarot cards professionally. And I was making a pretty good living doing that. And I noticed that I was reading people’s fortunes so to speak. And more using the archetypes of the tarot cards. Uh reframe their problems to them and help change their perspective And I got a lot of satisfaction out of that. And I started looking into what is a way that I can do only that. Uh and of course in an abnormal way. That I can do that cuz why not? And the Facebook algorithm. uh that one random point but HMI in front of me. previous to that, I hadn’t had any experience with hypnosis. I wasn’t even sure if it was real. I was in that camp And I talked to someone from admissions and they intrigued me. I figured why not give it a shot? This seems very interesting. And I think I was about two classes into 101 before I got my mind blown. The first time I saw the physiological responses of hypnosis. The things that can’t be faked. That is just reactionary. it just blew my mind. And then eventually I got to perform hypnosis and then, eventually, I got to experience it and that was a profound thing because uh going to that school, taught me a lot about myself and one of the things I came to learn is uh a lot of what I considered to be unusual behavior in myself. Uh wasn’t and a lot of what I consider to be unusual behavior in others, was it? I was just very extreme on one end of the suggestibility scale and I remember in class, they were explaining the traits of the intellectual suggestible of it’s like, oh, cool. That’s me and I took the suggestibility test and I scored like, eighty-two, my first time I wanna say. Jeez, man, that’s such an interesting thing because you’re, I mean you’re so rare and for you to be in hypnosis and experience hypnosis, uh I’m curious like who hypnotized you and how do they do it, right? Because you’re like the hard type. it was actually in a practice and it was with somebody I mean, I guess I should mention, this guy named Paul Villa Real and he’s since graduated, I believe. And uh, I told them what my suggestibility was and he said, cool. Can I try something? And he did what’s called an auto dual induction and that was the first time that it happened to me and that got me. It got me well enough that the next day, I wrote my custom version of that script uh based upon what worked for me and that was a very unusual thing because Previous to that, II did most of my experience with trance with self-hypnosis. Like, I can kinda help people along whenever they’re practicing on me because I was very aware of that state in myself and where I’d been there in the past, all that stuff. but in terms of outright just being hypnotized by somebody, uh that was the first time, and uh That was profound. Uh, the things that I learned and saw in that first time still kind of uh guide a lot of what I do for my clients. Because one of the things cuz I don’t remember too much of what was addressed. But one of the things that stands out to me as I was introduced to the future version of myself like 5 years in the future or so And that was profound to me. And that person that I saw kind of sticks out in my head and every day I think about what I can do to get to that point. And I have used that to a very great therapeutic effect with certain clients. Uh, I got the specialization in transgender hypnotherapy And one of the things I found with my transgender clients is that that class made me realize so much that it wasn’t just a psychological thing that it was a it was a physiological thing. And in that, that means that your brain is telling you that you look one way. And what you’re seeing in the mirror is telling you something very different. What if you were able to meet who you know you are? What if you were able to meet the person that looks how you know you’re supposed to look? And I find that having that, giving that to that person is substantial to their sense of self and their sense of well-being. Interesting. So, that does sound intriguing for so for someone who is, you know, they’re looking to meet their future, you know, 5 years from the future self. How how can we do that? Um, do you do that through self-hypnosis? Is this a visualization? Um. Um. Visualization. Visualization. I tend to use the LAL. Uh the uh for anyone listening that doesn’t know what that is. It’s a type of hypnotic induction or deepener where you start at a certain floor on an elevator and go down. The elevator opens and you meet this person and I make no attempt to describe this person. It is simply you in advance and II tell you to notice how this person looks, how they hold themselves, how they smell, like how, how they and depending on your suggestibility is kind of how profound that experience is. I um I don’t get hardly any visualization. Uh, I get weird flashes. Uh, I can’t smell anything. I don’t get anything auditory but I get a very heavy kinesthetic response. Uh. Interesting. Fuel things. Yeah. In imagination, right? In hypnosis. It’s not like you can’t smell things right now. Yeah. In the context of hypnosis. Right. Um. feel like if you tell me to walk downstairs, I will like to feel the stairs under my feet and things like that. That’s fascinating. Okay. So, uh for people who are listening, they’re like no idea like suggestibility type, intellectual, physical, you know, you know. Maybe like. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Cuz like we know, we know exactly what we’re talking about cuz we’re from the same college but um I mean, you break that down and uh yeah. Yeah, just go from there. Okay. Well, you’re the host. Why don’t you explain suggestibility to your audience? I’m Good, man. I could, I could. So, I was like, yeah, why not and you can critique me. But I’m not the one So as you, like you were saying, right, we’re all, first of all, we all can go into hypnosis. That’s a very, very natural state. And um, we, but we’re just on this kind of this uh, scale of suggestibility and some people do better with certain suggestions. versus others, and I lean towards kinda where, where you’re at, where it’s like, we do the, the indirect stories, and then on the other side is the very more paternal, hey, you’re gonna feel this, this is gonna happen, you are now in hypnosis, X, Y, Z, right? And that still does, that can work for me and you know, for others, but, not honestly for you, right? Cuz you’re, you’re very objectively something. If you are literal with me, you just hit a brick wall. Yeah. So I mean like go ahead. Go ahead. I respond very well to stories and um that is so my entire life like I literally when I was a teenager my friends used to text me and just say tell me a story. I just make something up. And to this day if you tell me to make up a story, I can. Like, just off the top of my head. And I uh, a big revelation and it was initially thanks to the man that uh ended up being my mentor. uh, Joe Burns. Oh, dude. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, and he told me, to throw the script away. Don’t work off script and I took that to heart because it’s much more intimate and so now, that’s what I do. I make up stories. Those same stories that I used to make up for my friends. I now just make up for clients that a lot of the paperwork that I have them do uh for their life history and the um the questions that I ask and the initial consultation and session are kinda getting to know like what story you wanna be told, how you want your story told, and for example, I have a client who recently came to me and this person is a software engineer. Uh a somnambulistic software engineer nonetheless and II just decided because this came at a time in my career I become very frustrated with pre-written scripts. Like I had thrown one away in the middle of a session. Hm. And those three sessions that I had that day I told myself like I’m not gonna prepare a script. I’m gonna figure out my inductions. I’m gonna ask some questions. And I’m just going to make myself go. And I did. And those were three of the best sessions I’ve done. And what I end up doing with the software engineer is I spoke to them with metaphors of code, visualizations of computers, and debugging. And um, Sure enough, that that that safe place in their head was represented as a computer bank. what the way they perceived that computer bank uh mandated where I took that therapy. Just to kind of adjust their visualization. And that’s had fantastic results. Right. So, it’s like when we tailor the therapy to the individual client who’s gonna have, you know, a different background. They’re gonna have different metaphors and um now, this is good cuz um the way I explain like the unconscious and the conscious is that the unconscious is just the realm of metaphors and emotions and it that that seems to be the reason why uh we humans love stories. It’s all. Yeah. Metaphors. Exactly and I ask people. One of the examples I give is, have you ever watched a movie and gotten angry or sad or happy? Uh based on what was on screen. Of course, the answer is inevitably yes. Yeah. So, yes, why? You consciously, logically know that you are watching a falsehood. You know these things aren’t happening. So, why do you feel these emotions? And the answer is that. Your subconscious does not differentiate fact and fiction. It’s a metaphor. It’s a and that’s all it sees that’s well, everyone but the high physicals. Uh, the high physicals don’t tend to dig the metaphor or anything like that. You just gotta tell them how they wanna be and it’s fine but uh for everyone else, it’s and at this point, because of this mentality I’ve taken with my I guess be hypnotic storytelling. Every time I watch a movie now or read a fiction book. I start noticing ways that I can retell that story for different applications or specific scenes. One of the most amazing movies I’ve seen recently is uh have you ever seen that Disney movie Inside Out? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Yup. Have you seen it recently? No, that was like, wasn’t that like a decade ago? Yeah. You should rewatch that. Uh mental health professionals helped write that movie and it is still used in the mental. Well, that makes so much feel today. Yeah, that makes so much sense, dude. Yeah. When you rewatch it, with knowledge of the subconscious and metaphor It’s it blows your mind. So, okay. There’s that scene where they enter the subconscious and the critical mind is represented by those two idiot guards. And how do they pass by the critical mind? They confuse it. That’s my hat. No, that’s my hat. Wow. They do a confusion abduction to get rid of the gatekeeper of the subconscious. And more than, when they’re actually in the subconscious, and this speaks to a lot of what I say about fear. One of the first things they see is a giant vacuum cleaner. Um because the way that girl’s subconscious remembered that is because the way we remember our fears is in that moment in time. Frozen at that moment in time. So to that fear and that perception. That’s a giant vacuum cleaner because she was very small when she got that fear. And that has a lot to do with how I address fears and hypnotherapy. Because one of the things I stress is when we have a fear or a trauma which I argue is the same thing because we’re not afraid of something and we as we’re traumatized by it and if we’re traumatized by something, we have a fear. And what I it’s all where it happened at the time. For example, if you became afraid of a vacuum cleaner as a baby or a very small child, the vacuum cleaner would appear much larger because according to your memory and your perception, which cannot be changed until it’s addressed in hypnosis, that thing’s giant or maybe you were bitten by a dog when you were a child and you remember it as just Kujo, some giant, hell hound that almost tore your ankle off because it was so intense and traumatic. Where and hypnosis, maybe it’s just a Jack Russell Terrier that bit your ankle. Hm. When you were 6 years old and you had the emotional intelligence of a 6-year-old. So, you’re going to retain that memory as a 6-year-old until you readdress it and allow that person to uh gain a new subconscious understanding and association of that event. So, I’m gonna try to play advocate here and say, okay, I get it that, you know, when we were six, maybe we’re scared of a vacuum cleaner cuz it seemed very big or a dog or whatnot and we had to distort perception, right? But now that we’re adults and that we have developed our prefrontal cortex and our reasoning and now, we can go and we can experience that, you know, dogs are generally safe for the, for the most part, and happy and man’s best friend, or the vacuum cleaner, you know, it’s fairly harm is. Right and so uh why can’t we just maybe um do a little bit of exposure therapy, a little bit of cognitive behavioral therapy, and just say, hey, this is uh, this is false, this, you know, you can, sometimes. Um, and it depends on how traumatic the memory is. And really, a lot of the way that fears are addressed in hypnosis has to do with uh, desensitate, desensitization, that the same things you would do in the physical world you can do mentally. If you were afraid of dogs rather than go so far as to address that fear live and in person with the dog you could go through that same process of consciously and realize that you have control over that emotion. There’s uh as you know there’s something called circle therapy. Where in hypnosis you are presented with a fear or an anxiety and you are asked to recall that fear and the emotions associated with that fear. Consciously. So, you bring it up on purpose. And then it’s at the same time you tell them to bring it back down. And the purpose of this is for one, every time you tell them bring it back up. It’s a little less. But they gain the understanding that your emotion and your reaction is under your control. The way that you choose to react to this fear is 100% under your control. And once there is that realization, fear tends to fade. or it’s not yours. Uh, that’s an interesting thing I’ve encountered before. What do you mean? Oh, it’s not yours. just that. Um so, I did uh a podcast couple of months ago. Uh about fear. It was called fear. It’s run by two clowns and they were interviewing a German spy who had a fear of heights. And I uh and this is on my website by the way. Everything I’m about to say you can listen to this interview. But this person, this man, um not the shy away from it. He’s a government killer. Like he is what he did. He was in special operations. He went into places he couldn’t talk about and did things he couldn’t talk about. He was afraid of heights. As unusual as that is. And uh this was all done in about twenty minutes. I transit him. I took him back to that moment on the plane. Cuz he got that fear from his first training jump when he was seventeen. And in the process of just walking him through that moment. He realized something. That he had forgotten about until that moment in hypnosis obviously, this person was a very high physical. So, they said they could feel the vibration of the engines. They could smell the gas on the plane. They were there. Um, the kid that jumped before him screamed in terror and he went from being fine and calm to terrified. But he didn’t remember that. And so at this moment, he realized that this fear he had been carrying for decades wasn’t even his and I called him out of a trance, and within 5 minutes of that, he was hanging off the side of a balcony. Saying like, I don’t feel a thing. Huh. So, yeah. This is all in hypnosis. Yes. Um. And not the balcony thing. Yeah. That’s what’s interesting. So, he remembered in hypnosis the um. The other kind. Where’s my cause? Just got scared. And it wasn’t even his fear that that kid’s fear transferred to him and before he had time to process it, he was kicked out the door. So, this entire time, he’s been perceiving this event as his fear when as you know, if we’re around someone afraid or scared or happy, if but for a short moment, we feel that before we process it out as not ours but what if you didn’t get that chance? What if you feel that fear and before you could be like, man, that kid was scared. Somebody’s grabbing you by your collar being like, your turn. and he just perceived that as his fear. So, yeah, fear didn’t belong to him. Wow Yeah. So, I’d be curious um on your philosophy when it comes to trauma, right? So, for that particular case, I guess he just, he was able to kinda remember and and and bring up that unconscious material and then, oh, hey, this is not my fear. Um but do you think for trauma? Before we even get to that, what do you mean when you say trauma? Trauma is any event. leaves an impression later down the line. Usually negative. Uh, I guess it should be specifically negative. Um, something that leaves an imprint, something that uh like, okay, this would be just seen in the movie Inside Out. Trauma is when a negative memory becomes a core memory. that that it becomes a core memory is an aspect of your personality. So, it’s. Oh. Whenever something negative becomes a core aspect of your personality. Because of course, we all go through negative things but what if that negative thing is so extreme or its perception is so extreme that it formed every opinion and perception that you had after that event because it was a core part of your personality? Hm. That’s why that movie’s so good. Like, dude, I need to rewatch. You do. I took notes. I’ve got notes somewhere on that damn movie. Well, yeah. I feel like I’ve matured so much since then and then with the knowledge of hypnosis and now, parts therapy. So, I don’t know if you ever heard of uh internal family systems or any kind of parts therapy. I’m sure you, I mean, we, it’s, it’s been mentioned here and there in the college. Yeah. But um yeah, it’s so amazing now that I’m in like parts therapy and I’m sure it would, you know when you see all the different emotions like, oh, that makes so much sense. Like, yeah, we have all these different parts of us that sometimes different things and it gets into conflict, you know? So. One of the things that I’ve really kind of come to realize through doing this work and that I tell all of my clients is we are all at our core children. We are all scared eight-year-old kids. We’ve kind of got that cuz that’s when we form our core beliefs from zero to eight. So, by the time we’re eight, that’s our core self. Yeah. And that, that you, all exist and that what it means to be an adult is to learn how to parent yourself. How to parent your inner child. And that’s a perspective that I ask a lot of my clients to take. Because II asked them especially the ones that have children. Like the way, you talk to yourself. When you talk to your child like that. Yeah. But is that the way your parents talk to you? if you didn’t like that, why are you continuing to treat yourself like that? Why, why don’t you give yourself that same understanding? Because what, think about it. We all wanna stay up later than we should. We all wanna eat **** that we shouldn’t but we have that voice in our heads. Like, no, you have obligations in the morning. You have to get up or you know, that’s gonna upset your stomach or whatever have you and it’s the same things you tell a child but you have to tell yourselves. So, the way that you speak to yourself in that regard is very important. Yeah. Um what I’ve realized at least for myself, is that there’s even more than one inner child. Yeah. You know, there are lots of parts of us um that that have different goals and different perceptions and might get, you know, yeah, might get into fights or something. Um and so, it’s not even just the inner child but like, how do we parent all the different parts of us and realize that there is no bad part? You know, you wouldn’t call a child bad. You just would. Exactly. You know. Um, re-educate them. I heard something. I can’t remember if it was in class or in something I was watching. But it said that everyone has good intentions. Yeah. Everyone. No matter how evil or messed up. If anything there are always some manner of good intentions at their core. Yes. It could be wildly misperceived. It could be a mental illness. there are always even, even crimes of hate, even when somebody murders someone else, they’re trying to satisfy something in them. They’re trying to make something in them go away. So, they’re trying to take care of themselves. Yup. Or they feel some weird obligation to fulfill. It’s all manner of reasons but all all of these things boiled down to. They are for themselves or someone else or whatever have you. It’s good intentions. Just like your subconscious Yes. Always has your best intentions in mind. Even with traumatic things. Even with bad reactions. It is still just trying to protect you. Yeah. Just trying to preserve its homeostasis. It’s normal. yeah. Now, that’s powerful. And I think when we understand that, you know, I think sometimes we can like vilify the subconscious or vilify these different behaviors but they’re all serving some kind of purpose. So, you know, if you’re, if you’re traumatized, it’s trying not to get you into that painful situation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, if you have crippling anxiety, it’s you’re subconscious, it’s your mind trying to protect you. You just have this fear reaction that’s out of control. And It’s there’s a lot to be said in terms of healing just for the awareness of that. So much of my work and especially my breakthrough work with clients has been through subtle changes in perspective. And that’s it. It’s not much more than that. It’s sometimes there are some changes to behaviors or thoughts changes. But a lot of it has to do with um the way you look at a situation, how you perceive it, why you think this way, why you think this way about yourself Although it’s stereotypical in therapy, I find myself asking the question, why are you feel that way? Where does that come from? A lot. Right. And there’s always something. There’s always another layer deeper until you get to that aha moment. And you can tell whenever something has left their mouth that even they didn’t think of. They’d never even made that association before. And just by having that come into their conscious mind by being able to consider that logically. You’ve already gone so far in that healing. It’s like when we raise our awareness and take different perspectives, then, behaviors start to shift. Well, it’s like uh I’m not a big NLP guy but there are some aspects in neuro-linguistic programming that I like and one of those is the mindfulness aspect. The idea of being aware of what you’re thinking. Uh taking control over your thoughts. I thought Joe did a very good example when he talked about how he was crossing the road and he started getting this perception of these men in this car at this crosswalk about how they wanted to do him harm and he started getting anxious about this imagined situation and he stopped himself and he forced his thoughts to something ridiculous. I forgot what he said he pictured those guys in this car doing but immediately changed his thought pattern. Yeah. And he was able to just walk away and he looked back and he said, they’re just both on their phone doing nothing. And that’s right. He’s told me that story too. That’s right. Yeah. And II love that story. It’s hilarious But it’s a very good example. Because so so often we let our thoughts kinda run out of control. And it does us some good to stop and think like why do you think that? Why are you thinking that way? Why? Why do you believe like there’s something to be nervous about in this situation? Where is that coming from? Hm. All your trail back. Figure out why you’re nervous. So we’re so for somebody who likes you asked them that like oh why are you nervous? Why are you afraid? And they’re like I don’t know. No idea. Well. What? How did you ask? Mhm. What makes you nervous? How do you feel when you’re nervous or afraid? Um did you, were you always afraid of this? If you weren’t always afraid of this, when’s the last time you remember not being afraid of it? When is the first time you remember being afraid of it? most time in my experience, people haven’t taken that logical path back. They just stop with, I don’t know. They it’s that self-examination is difficult. Um, a good example of this is I had a client that said that They wish that they were able to perceive themselves as others perceive them, as strong as others perceive them and I said, well, why don’t you think you’re strong? got into a car wreck and I felt like I could have done better and I felt like I failed. Why do you feel like you failed? Well, because I couldn’t be there when my grandfather died. and there was just this dawning realization when they said that. And I was like, you never said that out loud, have you? No. There you go. So, that is currently on the table for the next time and uh it’s just a good example of just keep following the path back. If you do, there there’s always a reason for the behavior. It’s never an I don’t know. There’s an I don’t want to remember. There’s uh I choose not to know but. Yup. There’s not a mystery. There’s always a reason that Could be had through questioning, figuring out when and where, and all of that. Yeah. Yeah. So, I’m curious cuz there are different schools of thought and not even hypnosis but in therapy that maybe, hey, don’t go back to the cause. You know, that’s just bringing up things that um that don’t necessarily need to be brought up or you can retraumatize people. X, Y, Z, focus on the solution, focus on the future, and more of like the positive thinking kind of approach. Um, I’m curious about what your thoughts on that are. It depends on the trauma Uh if it’s something like that they view as very grievous, it is something bad. I don’t ever ask people what their traumatic thing is. Like, you can just tell me that something bad happened in 2,000 seven. And that’s all I need to know. Uh, beyond that, all I, with, with that, I will, there’s a couple ways. But you, there’s no direct reexperience. You don’t take them back and make them live through it again. It’s antithetical to the goal. What you do is you take away that association. You make that not a core memory. They don’t focus on the events. They focus on the resolution. And the letting goes after that resolution. There’s a method that I very much enjoy that involves having them perceive this event on a screen. And they fast forward and rewind and fast forward and rewind until all that exists before the event and after the event. that that association is. And then after you establish that, you let them let go of that memory, of that association. And Trauma is very dependent on what happened. And uh sometimes it’s dependent upon um my referral. Because many times whenever it’s complex trauma uh I’m speaking to them on referrals from a mental health professional. Mhm. And a lot of it has to do with my communications with that mental health professionals. Whatever you learn. You know you’ve done. What do you need to be done? Um, it’s very important if you do find yourself working with uh medical doctor or mental health professional to get on the same page with them. Like involve yourself in that client and have them help you, help them, help that client. It’s a team effort at that point. It’s so dependent because II work with people with combat PTSD. I have uh postpartum depression. It’s just a matter of where this trauma and negative behavior come from. Often, uh with the combat PTSD, it’s always really heartbreaking to do those and I’m very happy that I get a chance to work with those men and women. there’s a lot that’s, for example, like what they’re not allowed to feel. Because you’re expected to, I literally soldier on. Hm. And there comes a time that that’s not a thing anymore. That you have to address what has happened to be able to heal. And I see a very similar thing in combat veterans that I see in people who suffer from trauma. they’ll go back to the closest safe save point in their head Uh it’s usually sometime when they’re a late teenager or soldier. It’s generally seventeen, or eighteen. And they’ll start adopting the traits that age. because they have all of these traumatic memories from older when they were older. So, it seems like psychologically, they just go back to the last time they were safe and untraumatized because it’s no longer safe to be an adult and I see that repeated time and time. Yeah, it’s. Wow. Interesting yeah, it must be very, very difficult to work with. Yeah, people who experience extreme, extreme trauma. Mm-hmm. So. I’m glad you are. But it’s one of those things like, once I realized what hypnosis was capable of and what it could do I kinda felt obligated to offer my services to them because it doesn’t matter what you think politically. It doesn’t matter what you think about war or the war or soldiers, the government, or anything like that. It has to do with these are deeply traumatized people who not getting the care and resolution that they need. I just feel obligated that if I have this toolset that allows me to give them that resolution, I should, that it doesn’t matter anything at all if I’m anti-war, pro-war, anti-government, pro-government, none of that. None of that matters. It’s just people. It’s just men and women who have seen things and done things that no one should be asked to see or do. And that’s it. That’s all it is. I’ve had a chance to see a wonderful change in those people because so much of it is it’s just difficult for them to deal with that, to face that. Whatever it is that they see. to do that is profound. To give them a safe place to do that. That is guided and secure. And it’s an interesting thing that for some reason people are hesitant to seek out psychotherapy. I have no problem with hypnotherapy. That. Really? Yeah, and I don’t know why that is. it’s fine and generally, I will encourage someone that if this isn’t something that they’ve seen a therapist for and they need to in the process of things, just be like, okay, now that we’ve kind of helped you through this, you need to consider bringing on someone else as well.
And therapy isn’t the cure-all. It’s great for a bunch of things but sometimes you need other stuff. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, like, the way I see it is to attack it from every angle. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no reason not to bring in everyone who could help. Yeah Perfect. So, uh I’m just going back to um you know, how you got into hypnosis and you talked about, you know, self-hypnosis and I’m sure that that has helped you and I mean, it’s helped me. I think it can help a lot of people where they can just utilize this modality, get over, get over some fears maybe, you know. Absolutely. I’m curious how, how you do self-hypnosis and what’s worked for you. So, that’s changed recently Longest time I did it as we were trained. And uh one of the things I’ve started to focus on recently. my self-hypnosis work and with my clients is nostalgia. This weird thing that exists in our minds seems to be separate from everything else. And what I do to self-hypnotize now is II focus on one of my far-off memories. Like one of my distant distant nostalgic childhood memories. Now form that as solidly as I can and just start doing breathing exercises. And focusing on that nostalgic moment and gets me right into a trance every time. Interesting. And do you think that would work with other intellectual suggestions? You know, high E note? Uh, I have clients that nostalgia has started to become a major part of our work. Because, um, I don’t even know how to define it. It doesn’t exist in a space like other memory. It’s it’s different. It’s more intense. It’s standard memory. It doesn’t have that feeling that’s associated with it. And I don’t know what that feeling is. Um actually, that’s one of the things that I want to focus on the most with research as that’s what nostalgia is and what its uses are about hypnosis. Yeah. Um and it’s, I’ve already started using it with a few clients, this notion of focusing on intense nostalgia to facilitate trance and I’ve had very good effects. Yeah. Well, that’s that reminds me of Erickson and I’m sure you know his story by the way, for people that are watching that and not familiar with Eric’s uh Milton Erickson, he was one of the greatest hypnotherapy of all time and did very indirect, artfully, vague, lots of metaphors and stories and god just brilliant results as a genius and um you know, when he was younger, he had polio, couldn’t move, thought about a memory of when he could and then all of a sudden 30 minutes later, he found himself Maybe. Well, that’s why a lot of the clients that I’m working with nostalgia are my clients that have self-perception issues and self-confidence issues Because nostalgia exists in a point of pure happiness. You don’t have negative nostalgic memories. Really? And yeah. This nostalgia by its very definition is positive. Huh, and it’s it may or may or may not be true because memory sucks but it doesn’t matter because your perception of that memory is nothing but positive. Nothing but happy. And so by recalling these memories, you’re able to recall this happiness. Uh, one of the more interesting bits of homework. That I’ve given my clients is uh sometime between now and our next session. Go on YouTube and look up an hour of old commercials or old cartoon intros from your childhood or something Like that. Um. Cartoon Network. Yeah. Something. I’ve uh I spent like 2 hours one night just watching intros to cartoons from the nineties. Like that’s it. And I’ve kind of become very focused on it. I very much love that sensation of nostalgia. I think it’s important therapeutically. That’s kind of why I put so much effort into exploring it myself. Yeah. Uh, Anytime I have like a nostalgic memory or thought, I kind of try to capture that and examine it and like figure out what I could do to bring myself back to that time and just that ponder ance alone has a hypnotic effect And I don’t know what it is about where nostalgia exists in the memory. it’s its present. there is an odd field of science. That’s kind of coming up now. That’s the quantum sciences. And there are some individuals doing work right now. or up to it including hypnosis that are fascinating. Um, the main person I’m speaking about is this guy named Doctor Dean Raiden who is the head of the Institute of Noetic Sciences. And yep I heard of them. Uh, he wrote a book called Real Magic. That is the scientific research and analysis behind certain processes. Like ESP whatever have you. Um, and it’s done strictly from the view of science and research. And These things are related to hypnosis because if the institute can be said to have any goal or direction, it’s consciousness research. Why? What are we? Why are we? I kind of think. Yeah. And the book doesn’t answer any of those questions but this book does provide uh an interesting indication of the direction of science and what we’re looking at in the next twenty years. One of the most fascinating things uh about living in this time certainly isn’t the plague or climate death but uh there is a concept called the singularity and there’s a version that exists in AI and there’s a version that just exists as humanity and the idea of the singularity in terms of humanity. Are that human technological eras exponential? That to get from the bronze age, the iron age was like two 2,000 years from the iron age to the industrial age like a thousand. Industrial age. It only lasts two hundred. Then, you get to the point now that the internet age only lasts twenty years. So. Oh, we’re not, are we, Oh yeah, you’re right. Uh-huh? I was just trying to think like, well, yeah. And. Previous to that, the computer age only lasted like fifty And so, now we are approaching this point in human evolution and development that um progress. The human era can no longer be measured. That each human technological era begins to overlap itself. And that progress became becomes foreseeable by the organic mind. we have a date for that. And it’s twenty-forty-five. Uh between twenty forty-five, 2055 is when the singularity is supposed to occur. And what? So what is that what is that mean exactly? That means human technological progress becomes infinitely fast. Every day there are new technological breakthroughs. Every day there is more progress. Um. How does even determine this state? Do you know? Well. I don’t know. Smarter men than me have done this math. Yeah. But it’s you see it evident in human evolution. These cuz there’s there were times in our history when thousands and thousands of years were spent the same. centuries were spent the same. There was no real development. It was just kind of an age. Living in the era that we live in now, it becomes very difficult to conceive of that. Because even if you’ve been around for twenty years, you’ve seen insane amounts of progress. And that simply just didn’t happen. Previously. Right. Ever since the industrial age for better or worse, we’ve sprinted towards this exponential progress, and as to what singularity looks like, oh no. Uh, I surely just hope it’s not a new iPhone a day. Uh, I’m hoping it’s not the AI, you know, um. Oh, god. Take me over the world and. The matrix. I uh. I’m kind of opposed to AI. Kinda not. Because to get AI, we have to first solve the consciousness problem, and we solve the consciousness problem. Good luck. That pretty much unlocked the singularity right there. But at the same time okay, let’s say if we unlock consciousness, let’s say we’ve created an artificial intelligence. We have created a thinking, feeling machine. The feeling of what? How do you know that consciousness implies emotion? What, how do you know what that emotion is? Right. Right. It’s defining consciousness. Mm-hmm. Which is the tricky part. So, and then one of the interesting questions I’ve, it’s been posed to me is does emotion evolve? Are we more emotionally intelligent now than we were 500 years ago? You gotta remember 500 years ago, what was considered fun was watching the local heretic gutted in the public square. So, I have to think that, yeah, we have grown. I, I do think we’ve owned in some ways, and at the same time, you know, there’s always going to be some kind of watching people get, you know, it’ll be a violent movie. Um. Yeah. Yeah. US, UFC, you know, we I mean II remember. Yeah. I don’t know how old you are but. I’m almost forty. There was a show on in the 90s called America’s Funniest Home Videos. That’s right. And it was hosted by Bob Saggett for some reason. And uh there used to be a rule. But it first came out. That no one could get hurt. And the video. It was an explicit rule. What? no1 could be injured. Yes. Well and then the dude getting hit in the nuts by a football One 3 years in a row. And they realized their entertainment value. Exactly. Cuz when I watched it, it was like 80% of people getting hurt. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And uh that’s an interesting aspect of humanity that to my knowledge, only the Germans have attempted to quantify. Uh, they have a word called uh Shodden Freuda. Which basically if I remember right, translates to the sad joy. And it is the pleasure that you get from other people’s pain. It is you who laugh at someone falling downstairs. It’s the reason you laugh at anything like that. Though the Germans have a word for it. It is Yeah. It exists Universally. And that is the very reason that um that that things like America’s funniest home videos or **** exist. Yeah. And it has to be II wonder really what is it psychologically that makes us like that? Is it a survival aspect of that ain’t me? Yeah. Yeah, I don’t know. Well because one of the weird questions I’ve never heard answered is uh why do we laugh? Like what even is laughter? Right. What is humor? Yeah. Uh-huh. and um because it wouldn’t exist for no reason. Laughter has to have a function the most interesting notion that I’ve heard is it was made as a diffused mechanism. The whole idea of why we find humor or awkwardness humorous. Because of like let’s say you were walking around the pack way back in the day. And you heard the Bush’s Russell. And everyone gets scared. You see the rabbit jumps out, so you laugh. And that signal which creates a neurological response in any human that hears it Is a way to signal the all clear. And maybe it’s a way to signal that hey that wasn’t me that just slammed into a **** curve on a bicycle or something like that. Like I don’t know what that is. I don’t define what humor is or why we laugh, to begin with. Right. Difficult question. And then you make it even more complex by the fact that some animals laugh. Really? Uh. Huh. Rats will laugh. Horses will laugh. Um, horses have displayed complex humor. Rats will laugh. Rats, you could tickle a rat. It’ll laugh. Giggle. That is so strange. Wow. They’re hyper-intelligent. Um, A horse. There’s some search horse prank on YouTube and you will get nothing but videos of horses taking revenge on people and laughing about it or playing a prank on their handler or something. it’s pretty. That’s always been the strangest thing to me because that implies very complex emotional intelligence to have humor. Yeah. Well, we’ve strayed. This is a very interesting topic for sure, man. Philosophical, psychological, like cultural, uh what’s called anthropology, anthropological questions. Um kinda tying it back to hypnosis. Well, I mean and you were talking about singularity and consciousness. Was that, were you going somewhere that in terms of hypnosis? Who knows? Um well, probably where I was going with that. Um if not, where I’m going now is that what we do is going if it’s not already it is going to become vital to consciousness research and what it means to have that type of increased development that we can analyze ourselves and others in ways that we haven’t been able to in the past. I’ve heard some theories that the notion of metaprogramming. Being able to actively change our thoughts and behaviors is uh an evolutionary step that is not something we’ve always had. That this ability to change everything about ourselves to suit our purposes is evolutionary. And I will take that one step further one of the things that I propose in many of my interviews is we don’t have free will. If everything of what we do is a product of association and learned behavior. How is that in any way an expression of choice? Now where free will comes in is when you choose to alter that behavior to suit your life when you choose how you want to view something. When you choose how you wanna act and react to something. Right, but aren’t those also dictated by past programming, by culture, um your knowns, so to speak? Yeah. You know. Could be. But it is the conscious choice of say if you have anxiety and you wish to resolve it. That is a conscious choice. Um. Right. Another example of a guess is if you don’t like a certain food, well, it stops. Like it. But you can’t. Okay, well, what if you could make that choice? What if you could just choose to make a certain food or like reading or like something in particular? What if your association was different? And that’s where the change comes in. That’s where the choice comes in. At least I think. That’s just uh the logical quandary that I like to present to people. Yeah. You know, this whole free-will discussion, man. That’s above my pay grade. I do mean on most days, I lean towards, you know, there probably is in free will but What I will say is I think it’s important for us to believe that there’s free will even if there’s not. Just to function in society and for mental health and yeah. Um, there are a lot of things like that that you don’t have time to get into today but it exists for you. You just have to play along to function. The biggest landmine in thought projects I could think of is simulation theory. Because you can neither prove it nor disprove it. So you could just continually fall that rabbit hole. So what is simulation The idea that we live in a simulation? Okay yeah, the matrix. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah. There is no way to prove it. There’s no way to disprove it. Yup. And I have no couple of people that fell far down that hole. Yeah. So, now, this is not a lot of quantum physicists, okay? And obviously, I’m not anywhere near that realm and intelligence but from what I’ve heard and read and understand as a layman is that there is an interpretation that will lead to us being in a simulation, there are some quantum physicists who would say that, and um. Uh, who’s the deal? That it is. Yeah. Statistically more likely that we’re in a simulation than not. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. And it the singularity comes into that because it assumes that any civilization that gains enough technology to run a simulation will do so simply to gather information and that given our technological progress, it is more likely that we have reached that point and we are in a simulation, then, it is not. So, wait, maybe the similarities are just when our when our holes pop open and we all get to come to to play in the real world. You know what? I think this ties nicely into hypnosis. Yeah. Okay. Because our beliefs, our core beliefs, a lot of them, are just BS. Yeah. It’s all perception. Reality is perception and as hypnotists, we can help you change that perception. Yeah, I don’t know if you, if you’ve been part of like a stage hypnotist show, hypnosis show? No, I’m opposed to stage hypnosis. What? Uh. It’s something I’ve to develop and like, yeah, I get that reaction a lot but speaking to clients and speaking to podcasters doing interviews, Stage Hypnosis is responsible for 90% of the misconceptions and falsehoods about hypnosis. And I could say To me, hypnosis and hypnotherapy is a very, very, very powerful tool and it needs to be regarded as such and if we’re up on stage using what is supposed to be a powerful tool to make people stand on their head, that doesn’t allow people to view it with the, the gravity that they should because, to them, it becomes this, this parlor trick this and more than that, I’ve encountered people who’ve had negative experiences with stage hypnotists. Uh because of what they’ve experienced on stage, they would never get hypnotized again. I’ve thought about that a lot. Would I ever do stage work? And I think at this point, the answer is no. Uh, I would do parlor work within a small setting like Transing one person in front of a small group just as a demonstration. That’s fine but doing it as a spectacle in front of a crowd. I think personally, this is only my opinion that it robs hypnosis of some of the dignity that it deserves. Hm. And I understand why it exists cuz yeah, it’s a neat thing But like, given how important I feel that hypnosis is to, in the understanding of it is to our health. Did damages its capacity to do so, by it being a stage show. Here, here’s my kind of argument. Um, because if show somebody that, you know, hey, I can make you bark like a dog, cluck like a chicken, uh via the power of hypnosis. Imagine what it’ll do therapeutically. Imagine how easy it is for you to quit smoking or lose weight or you know. How many are to go to anxiety? Going to be convinced with that versus how many people are going to be convinced that it’s fake or that? Yeah, I know I get a process or that it’s mind control. Yeah. And that’s the contribution to the negativity that comes in. And the media doesn’t help because every time you see a movie where hypnosis is involved outside of uh black magic, that one movie from the forties. Um, it’s all **** Like it’s all just weird. if that’s not actually how that works. But it makes people believe it. That’s why you ask someone to imagine what a hypnotist is. The first thing they think is that. Yeah. I have one somewhere. Hey, it’s a legit induction man. It works. I know. That’s the whole reason I dug mine out is because like man if I’m a hypnotist I wanna trans someone with a pocket watch. Exactly. That’s why I got it too. Just for that. Yeah. Yeah. I got you. Oh, I feel like this might be a good stopping point, man. It’s been a fun conversation. I don’t know if there’s anything that you. Yeah, man. Thank you for coming on and um uh is there anything maybe you wanna end with before um you know, ask you how people can find you and work with you? Um well, one of the things I always like to end with, you’ve already mentioned that hypnosis is natural. It’s normal. It’s not a metaphysical thing that this is a natural function of the human mind and that there’s no reason not to utilize it for positive change. It’s there anyway. We’re not adding anything. So, it’s something that I believe anyone can benefit from But if anyone wants to get a hold of me, uh like I was so enthusiastically introduced, my name is Jay Robert Parker. I own Twin Ravens Hypnotherapy and Research LLC and you can get a hold of me through my website at WWW dot Ravens dot ORG. Very nice. And you are doing group hypnotherapy as well. Oh, yes. Um I, if you go to a meetup, uh meetup .com and search for twin ravens hypnotherapy. I have a bi-weekly group hypnosis that I’m starting up. Uh, just kind of as an experiment, see how well it catches on but it’s just uh every other week, just doing some general relaxation, motivation, just basic stuff, and way. Anyone that wants to be able to experience hypnosis gets the opportunity. It’s not the same as one-on-one but your results may vary. Some people get a very profound experience. Some people likely do but you always get something. You let them know what it is. Yeah. And awesome. Great talking to you man. Absolutely. And I just wanna vouch for Robert’s skill and his compassion and passion in this work cuz I’ve been in one of those group uh hypnotherapy sessions. And it was very powerful. So I recommend anyone who wants to experience the power of hypnosis, to change their lives, to go with, to with Robert and you’re in good hands. So, thank you, man. Thank you for coming on. Absolutely. Thanks for having me. Alright. Peace out, guys.As found on YouTubeHUMAN SYNTHESYS STUDIO 👀🗯 Attention: Have Real Human Spokespeople In Your Videos Saying Exactly What You Want In MINUTES! REAL Humans, REAL Voices, With A NEW Technology That Gives STUNNING Results Choose Your Human + Voice Type What You Want Them To Say Render your “Humatar” What You Are About To See Is Unbelievable…
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as part of a live continuing education webinar on-demand CEUs are
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CEUs comm slash counselor toolbox I’d like to welcome everybody today to the
presentation love me doesn’t leave me addressing fears of abandonment the purpose of this
presentation is really to help us help clients increase their awareness of their story including
beliefs about behavioral reactions to situations that trigger their fear of abandonment so how
do we do that well the first thing we need to figure out is what fear of abandonment is and how
can we identify it in a clinical set setting then we’re going to explore the concept of schemas or
core beliefs and these are things that are formed in early childhood you know if you remember
prior classes we’ve talked about early childhood cognition is generally very dichotomous in children
young children don’t have the ability to look at that gray area so these schemas if they’ve gone
unchecked can lead to some very extreme belief patterns which lead us into common traps in
thinking reacting and relationships if your schemas are based on all-or-nothing you either
love me or you’re going to leave me hence the name of the book then your reactions are going to
tend to be more extreme and more all-or-nothing which increases anxiety because then anytime
a person who perceives any amount of disapproval obviously is going to go to that extreme so we
want to talk about bringing it more toward the middle line and helping people learn to appreciate
and love themselves for themselves while they may not approve of the behaviors of other people they can
still love other people so just because somebody doesn’t approve of your behavior doesn’t mean
necessarily that they’re going to abandon you so we’re going to talk about that and then we’ll
learn skills necessary to help people accept their past as part of their story maybe they do
have a lot of abandonment issues and you know some people do and it really is painful it cuts
to the core especially when those abandonment issues occur in early childhood when kids going
what that does so we’re going to talk about that and help people learn how to integrate it into
their present and we’ll learn the skills necessary to acknowledge that their past does not have to
continue to negatively impact them in the present so if they were abandoned when they were a child
you know we need to deal with that however if they continue to expect that every significant person
in their life will abandon them notice I use the word every because we’re still in those extremes
then they’re going that the past is negatively impacting them in the present so we’ll talk about
how to sort of moderate those belief systems how does this impact recovery whether you’re talking
about addiction or mental health issues connection is a basic human need we are not meant for the
most part to be Hermits in the middle of the woods there are introverts and in my husband’s an
introvert he has a couple of really good friends he needs quiet time each day he doesn’t need to
be surrounded by people and he’s fine but I mean we’ve got human connection he’s not going to be
one that’s just going to you know move out to the middle of nowhere I’m an extrovert on the other
hand and I tend to have a lot of acquaintances and a lot of friends I draw energy from
being around other people so just because someone doesn’t have 150 acquaintances doesn’t
necessarily mean they don’t need connections so we want to recognize that connection is a basic
human need when infants are born they are put on their mother’s chest when we embrace each
other whether it’s mother and child or friends or whatever a chemical called oxytocin is released
and it’s our bonding chemical we are programmed we are hardwired for connection and oxytocin is a
very rewarding chemical so we want to recognize this that if people are so afraid of abandonment
that they push everybody away what are they losing as far as quality of life as infants and children
survival is dependent upon the relationship with the primary caregiver so if mom or dad wasn’t
happy if mom or dad was rejecting the young child was pretty much helpless to think about a child
who’s growing up in a family that’s just riddled with addiction and mental health issues and the
primary caregiver or caregivers are completely emotionally unavailable they may be physically
there but they may be so high or so depressed or so psychotic that they cannot attend to the
children’s need what does that communicate to the child feels abandoned the child
feels a sense of neglect for people’s beliefs about other people and relationships were formed largely
based on their interactions with their caregivers so if this child was going mom I’m hungry and
nothing happened or worse yet child was going mom I’m terrified and nothing happened or they
were just given a pacifier and told to shut up then that is they were told they were communicated
to that their beliefs their feelings their wants and their needs were not important so they were
being rejected healthy relationships serve up as a buffer against stress so even if they had all
these negative experiences in early childhood teenage years you know maybe up until
they walked into your office it doesn’t mean it has to continue and how much can they gain from
having healthy relationships with a lot of clients that I work with who have pretty significant
abandonment issues can’t even fathom trusting someone enough to be in a healthy relationship so
we’re going to talk about how to sort of ease into that because you’re not going to say don’t let
your past influence your future and we’ll wave a magic wand and they’re ready to trust people
even once you point out that what happened in the past was largely not their fault or maybe not
even their fault at all they’re still going to have difficulty not accepting responsibility
and going everybody leaves me so what talk about that addressing beliefs that formed as a result
of these relationships the past dysfunctional relationships we can help people create a
new understanding of events was mom or dad or caregiver really being rejecting were you being
abandoned emotionally and physically because of you or because mom or dad just was able to do what
they needed to do to be a caregiver at that point in time they were doing the best they could with
the tools they had but it wasn’t enough to meet your needs so we want to talk about alternate
explanations for why parents and caregivers may have behaved in that way if you have a young child well
an adult now but who was put up for adoption or abandoned by their caregivers at a young age the
a young child was probably very confused because one moment their caregiver was there in the
next moment they were in the system so they were trying to figure out what did they do wrong and why
doesn’t that person love me anymore it must be me because children really can’t see well you
know mom is not able to function as a parent right now or dad is having difficulty coping we
want to help people better understand themselves in their reactions so that when they start getting
this urge to just cut all ties and be like you know what fine you know I’ll take my ball and go
home no problem what does that mean at there’s a certain point in all relationships in all healthy
relationships that you know sometimes people have to distance themselves from one another because
it’s becoming dysfunctional but for the most part, people will in relationships encounter
hiccups will encounter disagreements but in healthy relationships, they can work through
them in relationships with people who fear abandonment there are going to be two extremes
there’s going to be complete compliance and please don’t leave me or complete disengagement
and whatever I don’t care the final thing we want to do is help make people more conscious of
what they’re doing so they can make healthy decisions in their current relationships so when
they get that urge to either comply or disengage is that a healthy normative reaction right now
or are you reacting out of your past experiences the abandonment experience in childhood survival
depends on caregivers a four-year-old left alone for five days is not going to do so well you
know they may be able to scavenge food but once the food runs out where do they get it you
know there’s only so much that a child can do an infant can’t even get their own food
so survival depends on their caregivers and if their caregivers fail to meet those needs there are
high levels of anxiety and I will refer regularly to caregivers who are emotionally unavailable
and emotionally absent in addition to physically unavailable or absent because some parents and I
worked in the field of co-occurring disorders for over two decades and some parents just they are so
overwhelmed and so paralyzed by life itself they can’t even attend to anything else that’s going
on they’re doing good just to be breathing but if they have a child and that child’s needs are
getting neglected and fear of abandonment is a natural survival response when your food source goes away
what happens you start to freak the freak out so this is normal we look at this and say that that’s
that’s natural if a child thinks about the first time you take a child to kindergarten or pre-k
or daycare or whatever it is and you drop the child off even if they’re securely attached what
do they cry because they’re afraid that mom or dad won’t come back and they’re afraid of
this new situation that’s changed securely attached children will you know adjust and then be happy to
see mom or dad when they come back but the point is there’s that initial oh crap reaction meeting
biological needs and safety are key triggers for anxiety at any age so we’re talking about housing
we’re talking about safety we’re thinking about Maslow’s hierarchy if somebody is not meeting the
child’s needs or if the person is not getting their needs met then they may have high levels
of anxiety and I add to the safety concept not only physical safety but also emotional safety
people need to feel safe in their own heads and they need to be free from emotional abuse when
focused on survival people can’t focus elsewhere so if they’re not getting their physical needs
met guess what you know if you take somebody who is in pain who is sick who is hungry and who is
homeless are they going to work on self-esteem are they going to work on relationship skills
no, they’re focused on survival they need to have those basic needs met they need to have a certain
sense of security if they are in a situation that is dangerous physically obviously they’re not
going to be focusing on how can I better myself when they’re worried about somebody coming in
and hurting them physically likewise it’s hard to focus on how can I better myself when everywhere
they turn they perceive someone telling us you’re not okay you’re stupid you’re lazy you’re bad
you were the worst decision I ever made in my life they can’t focus on personal growth when
all they’re getting is these verbal beatdowns all the time so people need to have acceptance if
they don’t have acceptance kind of the opposite of acceptance is abandonment two kinds of extremes
again we’ll bring it back to the middle every stressful situation becomes a crisis the in
securely attached child now you can go back to and read Bowlby’s work on secure and all that kind
of stuff great reading but for the short version of this presentation remember that certs securely
attached children feel anxiety when their parents leave but then they can adjust and they’re happy
to see the parents return in securely attached children feel a great amount of anxiety when
their parents leave and are terrified that mom or dad won’t come back and then when mom or dad does
come back it’s your very very clingy or very very rejecting so with this child that’s in securely
attached it’s just like one to a hundred as soon as something happens that they think they may be
abandoned you see this pattern again in adults who are still struggling with these abandonment issues
that schema that they’ve formed and I’m getting a little ahead of myself that schema that they form
says if you let this person at your site or if this person disagrees with you or if this person
criticizes you they’re rejecting you and they’re going to abandon you so we want to you know check
in with those cognitions and look for trying to make those thoughts a little bit more helpful in
infancy or early childhood if caregivers were away for long periods of time because of work because
of military, if they were in jail if they just chose to be away or if they passed away children
may experience some abandonment issues now if the parents are away because a parent is a way
because of work or military or even jail and the other parent can help the child work through it
there’s much less drama if you will there’s much less issue with abandonment issues in totality
now if it’s whatever parent it is if the pay, if the father happened to be the one, went away
that person may have some residual issues with adult figures in their life that they need to deal
with but they may not know I’m not saying that every child of a soldier or a service person
is going to have abandonment issues that are so not true however if the experiences of the time
apart was not handled in a way where the child felt secure then it could have consequences that
are going into present-day if in early childhood caregivers were inconsistently or unpredictably
physically or emotionally present so think about a parent who has major recurrent major depressive
disorder addiction or is just ill-equipped to deal with a child when I was working at the treatment
center in Florida I had 14 15 16-year-old young women coming in and having babies and you know
what does a 14-year-old know about giving birth and raising a child so it’s not that they weren’t
necessarily trying you know they didn’t have great role models raising them in most cases and so they
don’t have anything to work with they don’t know how to be a parent they’ve never been taught so
it’s not always I don’t want to pathologize or make the parents look like bad people because
I believe that people do the best they can with the tools they have at any given time parents
don’t choose to be sucky parents sometimes it happens but I really don’t believe they choose to
anyhow off my soapbox in later childhood as the child becomes elementary school middle school
age if they’re a poor family fit or they feel like they’re the black sheep they just don’t
have the same beliefs that the other people do they don’t seem to have the same interest that
their family does they may not feel accepted especially if the family’s going no that’s wrong
to believe and invalidate them so going back to that psychological safety if they’re constantly
being told their ideas are stupid they’re wrong they have the wrong point of view and they can
feel very isolated something can happen that ruptures the relationship with the primary care
giver whether it’s abuse or you know some kind of other trauma and introduction of a new less
an emotionally or physically safe caregiver can also lead to abandonment if the child feels like the
biological caregiver chose a new spouse over him or her say if you see where I’m going with that
because if this new person comes in and is less safe is abusive in some way emotionally physically
sexually it doesn’t matter the child is going to feel like they didn’t have a voice the child
is going to feel like the biological caregiver didn’t care and brought this other person in
any way which leads to feelings of rejection and abandonment so what are the reactions
fight-or-flight whenever there’s a threat we fall back to fight or flight or freeze but we’ll
talk about that when there’s a threat our anxiety goes up and we say in the past in these kinds of
situations, if I fought, did I succeed if so then we’ve got fights in the past did I succeed and if
the answer’s no then the response is to flee pretty simply so anger towards someone who’s unavailable
if they got angry and felt like it got them some sort of acceptance from somewhere that might
be the prevailing reaction sadness when someone goes away a sense of helplessness this person
just left me shame or self-anger about feeling needy or about pushing someone away fears related
to rejection and isolation, nobody will ever love my loss of control or the unknown everybody
always leaves see how I’m using these extreme words again and fear of failure I can’t maintain
a relationship nobody wants to be with me because I’m not good enough so the questions for clients
in these situations what caused these fears as a child so when someone starts to have these fears
about a relationship if the relationship starts to get rocking first question is what is it that
you’re afraid of in this situation if you stay together what is it that you’re afraid of if this
the person leaves what is it you’re afraid of and how likely is it that this person is going to leave
based on whatever is going on right now so let’s get some objective evidence here and another
the tool you can use is the challenging questions worksheet in cognitive processing therapy if
you google it challenging questions worksheet CPT or cognitive processing therapy really helps
people walk through the logic in some of their cognitions and identify some know unhelpful
distortions so then after you figure out kind of what the fear is then we say what caused that as
a child in the past when you felt like this what caused that and how was this reasonable or helpful
you know in the past when you felt like this and you reacted in anger what was the outcome and
how was it helpful in some sort of way you know did it get somebody to pay attention to you did
it gets somebody to come comfort you, okay so you were identifying the function of the current
behaviors and then we want to say what causes these fears now a lot of times it’s the same symp
or similar stuff but we could say how are these reactions now unhelpful because as independent you
know adult-type people we can fend for ourselves we can put food on the table we can go to work we
can do we can function independently whereas this is a child we couldn’t you know there were just
some barriers to that does that mean again that we should live in isolation and say well
I don’t need anybody no that’s not what I’m saying what I’m saying is is these fears that
are overwhelming about abandonment that causes people to push others away or cling on like you
know whatever clings on uh are these reactions helpful in the present day you know do you still
need to hold on to people like there’s no tomorrow temperament based on their temperament children
need different types and amounts of caregiver interaction um some children are wide open and
easily overstimulated you know my son was that way when he was born well to this very day um
when he’s awake he is like the Energizer Bunny on methamphetamine I’m he’s just going going
going and talking and talking to himself and he needed a lot of structure and he would get
overstimulated easily but we were able to help him figure out how to handle that instead of
getting mad at him for what seemed to be acting out we were able to help him channel and figure
out when he needed to take a break the introvert may not need as much one-on-one attention with
the caregiver may need a comforting word here and there but they may not need the amount of
the attention that an extrovert may need an extrovert tends to need more interaction with parents with
family with other people because they draw energy and they think while they talk and they think
while they talk with other people so they feel a lot more isolated if they are isolated so we
want to understand the person’s temperament and how they may or may not have gotten their needs
met how they may have been told they were wrong and invalidated when they were younger and you
can hear some of this is kind of going towards Linda hands DBT environment um but what we want to
look at what do you need now how can we create an environment that’s accepting and welcoming
to you now based on their needs and caregivers’ reactions children form schemas or core beliefs
about the world and others so if they state their opinion and it’s squashed or it’s ridiculed then
they’re going to form this core belief that it is not safe ever to share my opinions because I am
always wrong now we’re talking about children here but a lot of times think back for yourself there I
think most of us have at least some all-or-nothing dichotomous thoughts that come in every once in
a while and you know we can catch them but if these dichotomies go unaddressed the person starts
feeling very lost and very abandoned because it’s all-or-nothing important points about children
under 7 from 8 to 12 children are developing alternative cognitive skills they’re
starting to be able to think abstractly they’re starting to be able to see the gray area and
alternate explanations but even you know during that period so zero to 12 children are having
difficulty envisioning all the possibilities so anything that happens before that we want to
encourage them to look at the schemas that were formed and challenge them to examine whether they
are currently accurate and helpful children think dichotomously when they’re that young it’s all
or nothing it’s good or bad it’s not kind of sort of something it is what it is I mean even think
about thinking back to grades that we would get it was satisfactory or unsatisfactory there was
no ABCD F when we were in elementary school and I don’t remember middle school then it was a
dichotomous grading scale you either did it or you didn’t children are egocentric so whatever happens
they say what was it about me that made this happen if mom’s in a bad mood what did I do if
you know Mom is rejecting well that was stupid I’m stupid children are very egocentric so you take
all or nothing combined with all about me and you can see we’re creating the perfect storm of children
can only focus on one aspect at a time when I work with adult clients you know they come in and they
tell me that they had an interaction with their boss he was walking down the hall and he was in a
bad mood and I just knew I did something and so we talked about that and I’m like how do you know
that because he had it he had angry look on his face okay what are some other possibilities what
else might have been going on with him at that point in time and a lot of times we can brainstorm
ideas about a call he just got or where they just left a meeting that didn’t go so well or who
knows what else in this day and time when we’ve got our cell phones and PDAs and everything
there are a lot of things that can trigger a mood besides just whoever you pass in the hallway
children can’t think about those other things that might have triggered the mood they see somebody
unhappy and they’re like I’m sorry um so we want to encourage as adults we want to encourage them
to say all right what are the other possibilities even as children I try to work with my kids
to encourage them to look at alternate reasons why somebody may be acting a certain way children
can’t think abstractly and consider those possible options um even with kids you know knee-high
to a grasshopper, if you’re in a situation and maybe in a store and somebody behaves not kindly
to you, you can talk about that later with the kids and say you know that was kind of unpleasant to go
through what you think might have caused that and brainstorm three ideas my favorite number is
three I don’t know why but brainstorm three ideas for alternate explanations for why that person
may have been in an unpleasant mood if children learn to do this when they’re younger it’s a
a lot easier to transition to as adults schemas are a broad way of perceiving things based on
memories feelings and thoughts basically it’s our go-to perception of what something’s going
to be like we have schemas about everything if you go to church you have a schema about what’s
going to happen when you go to your mother’s house you have a schema about how mom’s going to
behave and what’s going to happen we form these it’s our brain’s short shortcut instead of having
to analyze every situation it says oh I remember this been here before it’s probably going to be
like X Y Z unfortunately sometimes things change and one of the things we see in addictions
treatment as is as caregivers into recovery and really get a hold on it and start working that
a new way of life and sobriety and all that stuff old family members or family members still expect
that old behavior they have that schema that when Jane comes in this is what’s going to happen
because they’re remembering how she behaved and acted in her addictive self so we want to help
people identify their schemas and check them sometimes they’re still accurate sometimes not so
much schemas that trigger abandonment fear center around the cell acceptability is this person going
to like me which is one of the reasons we do a lot of self-esteem work in reducing abandonment fears
because we want to reduce the need for people to solicit external validation we want them to say
I’m all that and a bag of chips and I would love to play with you but if you don’t want to play
I’m okay with that love ability if they were told they were unlovable if they perceived
they were unlovable then in the present they may fear isolation they may fear that they’re not
lovable so they will try to do whatever they can or likewise they will build a lead wall that is 5
feet thick all the way around them so nobody can hurt them they may have fears about their own
the competence you know thinking back to Erikson you never thought some of these theorists from the
past would keep coming up even in current practice but they do if a child going through that period
of industry versus inferiority Erik Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development and they felt
like a failure, all the time or they were never good enough the parents never recognized their
positive achievements then they may question their own competence and feel like a failure if they
feel like a failure they may feel they may believe that nobody wants to be around them so they will
leave so if I fail they will leave and fears may center around adaptability some people are not
able to tolerate any loss of control they’re just like that they’re holding on with a death grip to
the relationship to anything that’s going on and it starts to go wonky they are going to freak out
so we want to look at what it means if you’re not in control of everything what does it mean
if you trust that this person is going to do the next right thing if you are doing the next right
thing as well schemas that trigger abandonment fears can also be sent around center around others
if someone is rejecting distant cold or is unable to handle the person’s needs then the person may not
feel acceptable so if they are in relationships with people like this then we need to look at is
Is it you who’s not acceptable or is something else going on with that person that may be making
them unable to deal with anybody else’s stuff right now the person may feel isolated if other
people are absent if people fail to keep promises they may feel like nobody’s ever there for them
competence if other people are always critical then the person will question their own competence
and if others are unpredictable a lot of the time when people who have anxiety about abandonment
they come from situations where other people have not been predictable or if they were they were
unpredictably absent and relationship of self to others if they are afraid about their ability to
relate with others if they’re afraid of rejection if they’re afraid that if they start to love they
will be rejected and then they will be isolated forever if they are afraid of the unknown and they
I just want consistency more than anything and as soon as consistency starts to waver a little
a bit because as we grow things change and people with abandonment issues don’t like things to
change because that’s not predictable and that’s not consistent so they may have difficulty if one
the person starts to change what they do I see this a lot not saying that it’s an abandonment issue
necessarily but when law enforcement officers retire you know because they can retire after
20 years so they may start a new career and that causes a lot of change schedule changes
they’re not law enforcement anymore and the spouse sometimes has culty adjusting to it as
does the retired officer but controllability if the person holds on to relationships and
everything in their life with white knuckles because they’re so afraid if they let go of
control that they are going to disappear or disintegrate then if something seems like it’s not
in their control, it’s going to be a catastrophe so attachment Styles secure if there’s an
emotionally available caregiver the child will seek the caregiver for comfort and guess
what the caregiver will be there and will more often than not meet the need for comfort with the
the correct type of comfort so hungry cold scared kind of following the child’s upset when the caregiver
leaves especially in new situations but the child gets over it it’s not a child that’s going to sit
there and cry for eight hours and then the child’s happy when the caregiver returns in this kind of
attachment the child learns to trust others will be responsive to their needs and validate their
needs a child learns to be self-reliant and try new things but if they fail they know they can
return to the home base they can go out and go well that didn’t go as planned and the caregiver will be
there to say alright let’s figure out what to do next not you are such a failure the child learns
to adapt to a variety of situations because when they’ve been faced with something that’s a little
scary caregivers been there to kind of coach them on and go you got this it’s scary I got it but
you can do it the child learns to deal with stress because the caregivers are there to coach them
or to process it with them afterward because the caregiver is not always physically there but if
you’ve got children you know sometimes they’ll come home from school and they’ve had a really
bad day and you’d pull them aside and go you know what’s going on let’s talk about it so in this way
the child learns to deal with stress and the child learns to have accurate expectations of others
in the secure attachment, emotionally available situation remember children are egocentric so
if mom’s upset the child goes what did I do or oh my gosh I hope mom’s not going to leave in
a secure situation sometimes the parent has to say something like mommy had a really bad day at
work today has nothing to do with you I need to go take a timeout that helps a child understand
that you know what it’s not all about me and I can understand that sometimes moms upset for
something besides me and I can understand that if moms up said it doesn’t mean she’s going to
leave so obviously this is the ideal situation avoidant attachment styles the rejecting or harsh
caregiver the person depends less on the caregiver for security because every time they go saying, mom
mom, I had a nightmare can I come into bed with you they’re met with going back to your own bed and the
caregiver rolls over it’s not oh I’m sorry you had a nightmare let me walk you back to your room
when the child is separated from the caregiver there’s little response when the caregiver leaves
or returns because the kids like what uses that person to me the child learns not to depend on
a caregiver for comfort connection or security now imagine yourself a four-year-old child or a
six-year-old child thinking I can’t count on my caregivers for comfort connection or security
that must be a terrifying place to be and I can see why you would develop some pretty strong
defense mechanisms the ambivalent relationship between the cave caregiver is inconsistent or can bow can’t
talk caregiver is inconsistent or chaotic this is really true in a lot of homes where there are
at least one parent who is battling some sort of addiction or mental health issue so the parent
may or may not be available you don’t know what the good days are going to be you don’t know what
the bad days are going to be so the child may be anxious and afraid to try new things or explore
because they’re like things are going good right now I don’t want to top will be an applecart just
going to sit here and ride it out a child may be clinging and demanding trying to elicit a response
remembering negative attention is better than no attention at all and the child is upset when the
caregiver leaves but also inconsolable when the caregiver returns because you know I was upset
I was scared you went away but you came back and that’s good but I don’t know when you’re going
to go away again and if you’re going to come back so it’s this constant anxiety of abandonment
core abandonment beliefs all people leave so we want to challenge that by identifying exceptions
mistrust people will hurt reject take advantage of me or just not be there when I need them you
know what that’s true sometimes because people have their own stuff so when this happens let’s
look at whether it’s happening all the time and/or let’s also look at what else might be going on
with that person that caused them to hurt reject take advantage or not be there when you needed
the emotional deprivation I never get the love I need nobody understands me cares about me or even
ever tries to meet my needs here how dramatic and extreme that is so one of the things as clinicians
we can do is say if you are getting the love you needed what would it look like what
would be different what is it that you need that you’re not getting once we identify
then we can create a plan to get it but a lot of times other people don’t understand or may not
be able to interpret what you need so let’s help let’s try to figure out how to make this happen
nobody understands me alright let’s talk about why that might be and you know let’s look at some
people who’ve kind of gotten a grasp sometimes with clients with abandonment beliefs nobody
understands me translates to I don’t give a buddy a chance and I cut them off as soon as they become
confused and because they associate confusion with the rejection so we might talk about communication
skills we might work on what it is that people don’t understand and how to better communicate
that and where to find people who have similar interests nobody ever even tries to meet my needs
you know here I would really look for exceptions but I would also challenge the person and I would
say when do you meet your needs what do you do to take care of yourself a lot of times
clients with abandonment beliefs are so freaked out and afraid of being abandoned that they’re
not taking care of themselves either they’re just living and are paralyzed going back to fight
flee or freeze they’re living a paralyzed state of I want to be loved but if I love I’m gonna get
hurt and I don’t know what to do they don’t even love themselves so we want to start talking about
if you had your best friend you know create this best friend persona what would he or she say to
you what would he or she do right now let’s try to help you understand yourself with mindfulness exercises
are really good here because a lot of times these clients don’t understand themselves they’ve got
so much anxiety they’re so afraid and they don’t know where it’s coming from because a lot of
it has been going on for so long defectiveness if people knew me they would reject me you know
not everybody’s going to like you why do you need everybody to like you why is it important that
everybody likes you and failure I don’t measure up and I’m not able to succeed I usually put pull
out the obnoxious quote that if you haven’t failed you haven’t tried and we talked about what it
means to get outside your comfort zone and you’re not going to be perfect at everything you’re not
going to be Michael Phelps you’re not going to be the president of the United States that doesn’t
mean that you’re a failure that definitely doesn’t mean you’re a failure so what things are you
good at what can you and have you succeeded at and go back and look over things like you graduated
high school, not everybody does that you know raised a family not everybody does that so we
want to challenge all nothing’ languages we want to look for exceptions and we want to look
for in what ways can you provide yourself the validation so you don’t fear abandonment you don’t
need other people to tell you you’re okay because guess what you’re telling yourself I’m okay and
before I go on to unhelpful reactions I do want to point out that if we tell people to tell
themselves you know I’m okay that sounds great but if they don’t believe it if it’s not supported
with evidence, it’s actually probably going to slow their growth because they’re sitting there going
telling themselves I’m okay and in the back of their head going you know you’re not so we need
to get that internal critical voice to kind of hush up by providing the person with the objective
evidence of why they’re okay why they’re good enough and that’s a slow process it’s not going
to happen overnight but encourage people to figure out why they believe what they believe and then
you can work from there okay unhelpful reactions fighting with someone you don’t want to leave
me because so the person may engage in dominant sort of posturing behavior aggression hostility
blaming and criticizing trying to tear down the other person to say you know what I don’t care
and you should be grateful that I’m in your life recognition seeking to get attention validation
or approval so if they feel something’s going wrong in a relationship they may start trying to
do something to gain recognition to prove that they’re worthy of a relationship for what they do
versus who they are manipulation and exploitation said lying justifying I did this because you made
me so sometimes we all occasionally do things that aren’t the nicest people who fear abandonment
have difficulty saying you know what I screwed up and they’re more likely to go you made me do
I wouldn’t have done it if you would have X Y & Z people again who are worried about a relationship
is going to fall apart and may also make excuses for other people’s inappropriate behavior it’s like
you know I really hate what this person does but if I don’t make excuses for it if I condemn it
then this person is going to leave in counseling we can talk about the difference between loving a
person and loving a person’s behavior you know I love my kids to death there is no question about
that but some of their behavior makes me want to climb a wall I’m very clear to separate from them
the difference between the behavior that I dislike and them because you know like I said I love them
to pieces and we want to help people start making this differentiation if they don’t do it already
and clinging and chasing is the other fight reaction stalking and messaging somebody 47 times on
Facebook in an hour all these kinds of behaviors and even online bullying those sorts of things can
be fight reactions in response to feeling like there’s a threat of abandonment flight is more
of the I don’t care if you leave so the person will withdraw physically and emotionally and
maybe even numb themselves with some sort of addictive behavior or distract themselves with
something completely different or find a new person just proof that you know what I didn’t
need you because I’ve got this new person now questions for clients about core beliefs
all people leave okay so what does it look like if somebody’s available to you if they
don’t abandon you who in your past left you or was unavailable emotionally now a lot of
I find it helpful for mental health and addiction clients to have them write an
autobiography because then we can go back and kind of review it and identify the core
people at certain stages in a person’s life what did the person who left you do to make you
feel rejected or abandoned in retrospect you know it was hard to see the difference what
was going on back then because you were a kid in retrospect what are the alternate explanations
for why this may have happened was it really you or was it more about them who in your past
has been available to you emotionally most of the time people can point to one maybe two people
who have generally been there it’s unreasonable to expect someone to always be there who in your
present is available to you emotionally you know maybe they’ve only been in your life for six
months or a year but they are available and I say emotionally because you know not everybody can
be available physically all the time we’ve got jobs kids all that kind of stuff but can you pick
up the phone and call them or text them and say hey you know what I’m really struggling right now
what do you do in your current relationships that cause people to leave do you push them away if so
how what are alternatives to pushing them away cutting all ties and just saying fine be that way
I wipe my hands off you if you cling how do you do this in what ways do you perceive yourself as
being clinging and what are some alternatives to holding on with all desperation and mistrust people
will hurt reject or take advantage of me or just not be there when I need them so again what does
it looks like when somebody’s or what does it feel like when someone is trustworthy and safe who in
your past was untrustworthy or unsafe what do they do they taught you this and what are alternate
explanations who in your past has been trustworthy and safe who in your present is available and
trustworthy what do you do to yourself that is unsafe or dishonest that’s one of those tricky
questions you’re there talking about other people other people then it’s like what
do you do to yourself how do you lie to your self or how are you mean and hateful to yourself
how does your distrust of other people or even yourself impact your current relationships some
people distrust their own internal intuition so much that they don’t want to make friends with
other people they’re like I can’t tell who’s going to hurt me and who won’t so just yeah I’m
going to wipe my hands of it all what could you do differently what do you think you could do
in order to start building trust and what does it look like to build trust because Trust doesn’t
just appear it builds gradually emotional deaths deprivation I don’t get the love I need nobody
understands me so again what does it look like when somebody understands you and meets your
needs who in the past failed to meet your needs emotionally and how can you deal with that now
you know it may have been mom it may have been ex-husband it may have been you know who knows
how can you deal with it now yourself so you can put it to rest who in your past is understood
you who in your present understands you how can you start again better understanding yourself
because it’s hard for other people to understand us when we don’t even understand ourselves and
what can you do to start getting your needs met you one of the things was starting to get your own
needs met is to figure out what your needs are and this is one of the exercises I have people do as
a homework assignment they keep track of what is it they want on a daily basis keep a log and then
let’s talk about what common themes were seeing if people knew me they would reject me okay so how
do you know when you’re accepted or acceptable to someone who when you’re past may make you feel
defective are there alternate explanations and how can you silence those old tapes because
that person that statement stays as a heckler in the gallery we need to hush the heckler what
can you do part of it could be talking back and saying you know what I’m not going to listen
or I don’t have time for this right now who’s been accepting and supportive who is in your life
that’s accepting and supportive and how can you start accepting yourself and being compassionate
so some compassion focus training mindfulness work to help people understand themselves and start
being compassionate with themselves understanding their vulnerabilities and cutting themselves some
slack I don’t measure up I’m not able to succeed okay that’s a pretty big success you know what
is what success means success means different things to different people so what does it look
like to you to be successful let’s kind of hammer that out what is it if you are successful what
would be different what in your past has made you feel like a failure what are some alternate
ways of viewing it such as a learning experience or something I had to go through to grow or you
know brainstorming alternate explanations for why people fail they don’t have a response to
sometimes I ask them to kind of take on a flip role and say pretend you’re a parent and
your child comes home and they’ve tried out for the football team and they didn’t make the team
they failed what are you going to tell on what have you succeeded at doing in the past what are
you good at in the present and we really want to pay attention to minimization here because a
a lot of our clients are not good at identifying their strengths what does being successful mean in
terms of your relationship with others do you have to be successful in order to be loved and be a
the good relationship you know obviously you’re going to be successful in a relationship if you’re
but do you have to be financially successful and powerful all whatever you define success as in
order to be in healthy relationships who are three successful people you know and what makes
them successful in your eyes does success equal happiness you can do a whole group on that and
what do your kids need to do to be successful in life you know we want our kids to succeed in us
want our kids to be happy so what is it that I envision my child’s life to be 10 to 15 years from
now triggering relationships the abandoner is unpredictable unstable and unavailable the
an abusive relationship is untrustworthy and unsafe the deprived err depriving relationship the
a person is detached or withholding the Devastator is always judgmental rejecting and critical and
the critic is critical and narcissistic usually a lot of times people replay their past to try to
kind of get it right the second time so we want to look at do you have a habit of getting into
relationships with people who are not safe we can also ask them how do you exhibit these behaviors
in what ways are these behaviors present your current relationships and in what ways were these
present and your primary caregiver relationships behavioral triggers abandonment and mistrust
if somebody starts acting differently they change their behavior in some way a person who fears
abandonment goes oh that’s not good if they’re not getting constant reassurance that’s
that external validation can trigger abandonment fears so again we want to work
on internal validation and why is it that you feel you need constant reassurance from the other
person’s relationships feel threatening so work relationships those sorts of things the
a person who has abandonment issues won’t want their significant other around other people
and they become hyper-vigilant to rejection and disconnection even if it’s just somebody
going I had a really bad day I need 20 minutes and go into the room and shut the door
the person with abandonment issues will likely have a high level of anxiety so we want to ask
how these behaviors have threatened them in the past what are alternate explanations for why this
is happening with this person right now and what would be a helpful reaction to these behaviors
now so this is happening what would be a helpful reaction instead of assuming that the sky is
going to fall defectiveness and failure so if somebody is critical if they have unexplained time
apart there’s absent or inconsistent reassurance or if the person tells them they’re a failure
these or they fail at something these could all be behavioral triggers they could be like I
failed at something I’m not getting reassurance that this relationship fixing to end question how
is this threatened you in the past alternate explanations and what would be a helpful
reaction to this particular situation right now envisioning activity what does a healthy
the relationship looks like presence versus abandonment acceptance versus rejection emotional support
versus emotional unavailability trustworthy versus untrustworthy and safe versus harmful
these are extremes what does it look like to be a middle ground there are going to be exceptions
you know things are going to happen so what does a healthy relationship look like and how to do you
deal with exceptions if somebody’s not always present how can you create this relationship with
yourself that’s the big one and then how can you create this relationship with others’ mindfulness
questions what am I feeling what’s triggering it am I safe right now and if not what do I need to
is this bringing up something from the past if so how is this different how am I different
then I was when I was six or four and how can I silence my inner critic finally what
would be a helpful reaction that would move me more toward my goals and toward a positive
emotional experience summary core beliefs about the self and others are formed in early
life due to children’s lack of knowledge of other experiences and primitive cognitive abilities
these core beliefs are often very dichotomous core beliefs can be formed around events or
experiences outside of the conscious memory identifying and being mindful of abandonment
triggers in the present can help people choose alternate more helpful ways of responding in
the present in secure and loved me don’t leave me are two really excellent books
there are google previews if you want to look at them to see if it’s something that you like
but they do take what we talked about in this presentation and expand upon it a whole bunch
more if you enjoy this podcast please like and subscribe either in your podcast player or on
YouTube you can attend and participate in our live webinars with doctor Snipes by subscribing
at all CEUs comm slash counselor toolbox, this episode has been brought to you in part by all
CEUs com provides 24/7 multimedia continuing education and pre-certification training to
counselors therapists and nurses since 2006 used coupon code consular toolbox to get
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Welcome to the Addiction Counselor Exam
Review. This presentation is part of the Addiction Counselor certification
training. Go to http://www.ALLCEUs.com/certificate-tracks to learn more about
our specialty certificates starting at 149 dollars Hi everybody and welcome to this
presentation of Documentation Principles and what you're supposed to do in
documentation. Over the course of the next hour or a little bit more yeah
buckle in guys it's going to be a while we're going to discuss the elements of
good documentation we're going to talk about different types of documentation
that you need to know how to do this is not a instructional manual or
presentation on how to write good treatment plans or good progress notes
this is really hitting the highlights so if you hit or you get to a place where
you hear about a type of documentation you don't feel comfortable with
especially treatment planning from what I've been told on the current
certification exams treatment planning plays a big role so you want to make
sure that you know how to identify effective interventions but that's a
different class today we're just going to hit the highlights of what you need
to know about documentation so documenting the treatment process the
client record is the most important tool to ensure continuity of care that's
going to help every person on the treatment team collaborate and
coordinate that's going to help you track progress remember what you did
last week and what you're doing in the future you know what your goals are it's
going to help the client visualize what's going to happen so documentation
is really important and remember if it doesn't get documented it didn't happen
and that's true in terms of billable services you know don't not document
something because you make a mistake because that'll still come back to bite
you but in terms of reimbursement and you know showing that you did what any
good therapist would do in order to prevent liability document document
document it's your best friend there are ways to shorten documentation there are
a lot of times that you can use check sheets and things create check sheets in
private practice to make it a little bit easier for
yourself but it is important to have that documentation documentation
contributes to service delivery by reducing the replication of services so
if I look and I see that jimbob's already been referred to a psychiatrist
well then I don't need to make a referral for Jim Bob to a psychiatrist
if I look and I see that he's already interacting with workforce development
services then I don't need to refer him there because it's already been done so
it saves some effort on everybody's part it presents a cohesive longitudinal
record of clinically meaningful information which is gibberish for
saying you can see the clients progress you can see what's worked you can see
what hasn't worked you can see incremental changes and more importantly
sometimes the client can see incremental changes so they can look back you know
six weeks and at what you were talking about back then and how they were
presenting and how they were feeling and then look at today and you can compare
and contrast so they can see that yeah everything may not be coming up roses
but there has been a significant improvement documentation helps ensure
reimbursement for services you don't ever want to say is going to ensure
because the people who are reimbursing have the right to not reimburse you know
they can deny claims so but you know you're not going to get paid if you
don't document so you have to document in order to have any hope of
reimbursement and good documentation will reduce the number of denials that
you get and it assists in guarding against malpractice because you're
documenting what was done by whom and if they were adequately credentialed you
know if you're referring somebody for a nutritional assessment to a dietitian a
registered dietitian you're going to note that in the record if you are
providing nutritional assessment and information yourself you're probably not
a registered dietitian which means you're not adequately credentialed so
you know you could see the difference but you're showing that you're referring
to other professionals and you're taking adequate precautions in the event that
somebody's in crisis or you know needs some other sorts of assistance clinical
documentation records professional services you do an intake we all know
what intakes are differential diagnosis it shows how you arrived at your
conclusion that this person has substance induced depression or or
whatever you're going to show how you ruled out some of the medical conditions
you're going to show how you ruled out underlying
mental health pathology placement criteria are used in decision making so
you have the a Sam generally sometimes it's the locus and you can use that to
show you know the powers-that-be if anybody ever comes and look at looks
at the record why you made the recommendation for residential or
outpatient or or whatever recommendation you made you can show your clinical
justification by the patient placement criteria which is really awesome now
sometimes the client is gonna say no you know you're recommending residential but
I'm not willing to do that and you're gonna document that in the chart what
your recommendation is and what the client chooses to do because they do
have the ability to choose but again you know you're showing that you made a good
honest effort to put them in what appears to be the best placement it
documents treatment and other services provided so we can see what's going on
if I'm looking at a record and of somebody and I'm hearing that they're on
medications but I have no record of any sort of a doctor and you know I've read
assessments before and it just drives me batty where they talk about a client
being on antidepressants for example but then the client never gets any sort of
mental health diagnosis and I'm like well what are they on the meds for if
the doc is prescribing meds the doc clearly thinks that they have some sort
of mental health issue so you want to identify what's going on what services
you're providing what refer you're making the response to any
interventions think about it this way you know if that client comes back for
another episode of care and we know in recovery oriented systems of care that
treatment is episodic and you may not be there the next time JimBob comes back
but the next therapist can go back and review the record and figure out what's
worked what didn't where the kind of where you left off and build upon that
instead of having to recreate the wheel which saves a lot of frustration a lot
of time and it enhances client engagement if they feel like they can go
in and kind of hit the ground running instead of having to you know start back
at square one it identifies referral services and the outcome not all
referrals are going to go swimmingly but generally they do and you want a
document that you're attending to the clients biopsychosocial needs if they
need housing you're referring to the appropriate agency that can help them
get housing if they need you know food stamps you're referring to the
appropriate agency where they can get that there's a little bit of case
management sort of stuff going on here because a lot of times you don't have a
case manager but it's important because a client who is homeless hungry in pain
and sick is not going to do really well on dealing with their depression or
their self-esteem because they're not getting their basic needs met so you
want to show that you're you know taking everything into account
it shows the clinical course the record can help you identify and look back
retrospectively and see you know what things may trigger an episode what
things may trigger a relapse what things tend to mitigate it and help it you know
not become so severe what sorts of interventions worked and looking at the
course you can see when it started and whether it's continuing to get worse or
whether it's starting to get a little bit better and instead of having long
relapse periods you have shorter episodes maybe of lapses and it shows
reassessment and treatment plan reviews people change you know as they get
better that's awesome they're changing and the treatment plan will need to be
updated to reflect their current needs and wants we want to do reassessments at
least every 90 days but preferably every 30 days a lot of insurance companies and
if you look at the level of care guidelines it's really important because
they can deny payment if you're not doing a treatment plan review every
single week for people who are in intensive outpatient partial
hospitalization or residential that's not true of every insurance provider but
it is true of a lot of them so you need to know how frequently you need to do
these things in order to prevent denial of payment records compliance with state
accreditation and payer requirements so you know clinical documentation helps
you you know document exactly what's going on in Florida for example the
state tells you certain services that have to be provided at the IOP level and
at the residential level and you need to be able to document that if you're
getting state funding you need to be able to document certain things if
you're accredited by Jayco are you're gonna have to be able to show in the
record that your treatment is you know in line with their guidelines you know
they're going to look around at what's going on now but they also want to look
at the charts to see you know how you actually follow through an entire course
of care and it helps you maintain payer compliance
I can't state this enough and we are in it to help people don't get me wrong and
I hate to harp on dumb reimbursement however if you don't get reimbursed you
don't keep your doors open so it's important to know what each payor
requires in terms of you know how quickly does the intake need to be done
how quickly does the treatment plan need to be done some payers say three days
some payers say a week how frequently does the treatment plan need to be
updated does the person have to see a psychiatrist within a certain period
of time for your high levels of care the answer is yes so all this stuff is in
what's called the level of care guidelines and each independent
insurance provider has their own level of care guidelines so my recommendation
and what I do in my practice is identify all of the providers that I accept and
then I take the most stringent requirements for everything from all the
different providers so I'm going above and beyond for some but I'm at least
meaning every single providers minimum requirements and it takes a little while
to do the crosswalk but it is well worth it because it helps you have a clinical
record that applies whether it's Blue Cross and Blue Shield or Aetna or United
or you know whomever documentation eases the transition to other programs and to
referral sources if you call up a referral source and say you know maybe
you're working with a client who has trauma issues and you're referring to an
EMDR therapist and you call them up and say hey I got this person coming over
and who's gonna need EMDR services sending them your way well that doesn't
give them anything to work on so instead of again having them rip open that wound
and go through you know a bunch of stuff that they've already talked about with
you that was painful and distressing the clinical record can help ease that
transition so the receiving therapist the EMDR therapist can review it and
kind of know what they're dealing with and then start a little bit ahead of the
game and it prevents duplication of information gathering when possible you
know everybody seems to have to get demographic information well if there's
a centralized clinical record that has the demographic information then
everybody can add to that instead of having to get the same demographic
information from clients every single time it facilitates quality assurance it
documents the appropriateness clinical necessity and effectiveness of treatment
when you are writing your integrated summary
you are going to identify things in the intake that you did that support your
diagnosis and support your intervention so you're gonna identify I'm doing this
because in order to meet this need we're going to use this intervention so it
identifies the clinical necessity you'll talk about appropriateness and that's in
terms of diagnosis that's in terms of treatment setting and that's also in
terms of age and culture so you're gonna if you use different interventions maybe
use cognitive behavioral for some things and you use experiential for something
else or maybe you refer to IOP for one thing for one client and you refer
another client to outpatient or residential the appropriateness can be
defended with your integrated summary and your patient placement criteria and
then the effectiveness of treatment is going to be seen in your progress notes
and your reassessments so you're going to be identifying okay we accomplish
this goal accomplished that goal accomplished the next goal and you're
gonna hopefully be marking them off and if you're not marking them off you're
you're going to have addendums where you did you know an adjustment to the
treatment plan in order to help the client start making progress towards
that sometimes you're gonna scrap a goal because something else comes up that's
more important I worked with one client who was just an amazing woman but she
found out when she was in treatment with us that she had breast cancer well you
know getting housing and getting a job those kind of goals kind of went out the
door when that came up and the one of the main focuses of treatment for awhile
became remaining clean and sober managing her anxiety and managing her
feelings and you know recovery from the breast cancer and she went into
significant chemotherapy and we were blessed enough to be able to keep her on
our unit while she was going through chemo because she didn't have any family
but you can see how sometimes you know there's a great treatment plan but then
life happens and you got a drop back in punt
and the treatment plan is going to show and the reassessment is going to show
why you changed gears or changed directions so nobody goes well what in
the world happened there you know I thought she was gonna discharge and then
three months later she's still on the unit what's going on well you know we
can we were able to justify why that was important
it substantiates the need for further assessment and testing if you have a
client who comes in who may have fetal alcohol spectrum issues you know because
we know that alcoholism runs in families it's not uncommon for clients to have a
mother who was an alcoholic now you know I'm not saying that every mother's an
alcoholic and every person who has an addiction has a parent a mother who's an
alcoholic but I'm saying the likelihood is higher if you're working with
somebody with an addiction that their mother and for fetal alcohol spectrum
disorders this has to be the mother because it's taint damage to the fetus
that's done in utero so you know dad doesn't have anything to do with that so
if you think the person has FASD or an F ASD you can refer because you need to
get neurocognitive testing and all kinds of other things done but that will help
them get set up for higher level services and reimbursement on multiple
levels through SSI potentially if they have significant impairment its
documentation supports termination or transfer of services if they've reached
maximal gains at this level of care it's going to show or and kind of along the
same thing if something happens and they can't participate in this level of care
right now they need to be transferred to a crisis stabilization unit
documentation will show why they were discharged from one place and sent to
another it identifies problems with service delivery by providing data to
support corrective actions when I worked at the facility I worked out we had
multiple programs we had case management and outpatient residential and detox and
crisis stabilization and yada yada yada and sometimes there would be too
cooks in the kitchen so referrals wouldn't go off as planned or one person
would think they were running the master treatment plan while another program
would think they were running the master treatment plan and then reimbursement
would get messed up so we were better able to figure out who was the single
point of contact for this client and what the treatment plan was adding two
methods to improve and assure quality of care so if we figure out that yeah this
is working really well but you know we have this great intensive outpatient
program but our aftercare program is really non-existent and it's it's
imperative to have an aftercare program let's look at how we can do this in
order to help people stay clean and sober it provides information that's
used in policy development program planning and research another example
that we used during the time that I was working at the at that clinic we
realized that there was a need for a mother baby unit there wasn't one in our
13 County region so we wrote a grant and we created a unit that reached out to
mothers who were still pregnant ideally didn't have to be but ideally
still pregnant we helped them stay clean and sober until they delivered and then
they stayed with us for another six months so we identified a gap in
services you know because pregnant and postpartum women were really not getting
a lot of services and we met that need and documentation provides data for use
in planning professional development activities it helps you see what might
be a need if you've suddenly got a lot of people coming in who have trauma
issues then staff maybe need to be trained on trauma focused cognitive
behavioral or cognitive processing therapy in order to better serve that
particular population or you may have an influx of clients from a different
culture you know right now in Florida there are a lot of people that have come
into Florida from Puerto Rico after the hurricane so there's a need for services
that are truly sensitive to people from Puerto
Rico so it helps you identify who's coming through our doors what are their
needs and what kind of training would benefit our staff so they can serve them
more effectively and it fosters communication and collaboration between
multidisciplinary team members a lot of times I would never see the doctor or
the psychiatrist when they would come to see the clients that were on residential
but I knew that they were reading my notes and they knew I was reading their
notes because we had to initial so it made sure that all of the people in the
team are at least communicating via the chart if not a team meeting unfortunately when you get into
documentation you also get into big sticky issues with confidentiality and
with substance abuse you need to be really aware of the Code of Federal
Regulations 42 part 2 or CFR 42 part 2 and this handles the confidentiality of
alcohol and drug abuse page patient records 42 CFR part 2 applies to all
records relating to the identity diagnosis prognosis or treatment of any
patient in a substance abuse program in the u.s.
So this is in addition to HIPAA
and hi-tech and all of those substance abuse clients have additional
protections there's a prohibition data that would identify a patient as
suffering from a substance use disorder or as undergoing substance use disorder
treatment you can't identify that information unless you have a specific
release of information so if you're seeing somebody for mental health issues
but they've also got you know a substance use disorder
you can't divulge that that's separate information and their record is extra
protected 42 CFR part 2 allows for disclosure where the state mandates
child abuse and neglect recording sometimes the child abuse and neglect is
directly related to the substance use or you're the only provider and you're in a
substance abuse treatment program and you have to make a mandated report
yeah it's allowed it allows for disclosure when cause of death is being
reported so if you have a client in your program who dies and you have to report
the cause of death you can disclose at that point or if the
client passes away when they're on your on your facility and unfortunately it
happens sometimes then you know obviously people are going to know where
that person died because the everybody's going to come pick them up and do the
investigation and you can disclose when there's an existence of a valid court
order sometimes the courts will say this is
important to know and that's varies by jurisdiction so in order to release
information you have to have a written release and a written consent requires
10 elements and this is so important because so often I see releases of
information that don't contain all ten elements number one do not ever have a
client sign a blank release of information you know saying you know
just in case we need it just sign it so I haven't know that's a big big big big
no-no so anyway the release of information to be valid and if it's not
valid then technically you can't release the information so it has to have all
ten of these elements the names of the program's making the disclosure the name
of the individual or organization that will receive the disclosure the name of
the patient who is the subject of the disclosure you know that's all pretty
standard the specific purpose or need for disclosure that gets a little bit
you know why are you making this disclosure because the client requested
it because of a court order in order to coordinate care what's the need a
description of how much and what kind of information will be disclosed generally
it's not everything you need a special release of information according to
HIPAA in order to release progress notes as opposed to release other information
so you know on ours we have we'll check boxes so you can identify
whether its assessment attendance drug trip drug testing results etc you have
to have a patient's right to revoke the consent in writing and the exceptions so
there has to be a paragraph somewhere that lets the patient know that they
have the right to revoke consent in writing you know at any time unless and
there are a few exceptions but there they're few and far between and your
legal department will handle that some agencies say clients can revoke consent
verbally however the requirement is only that it
has to be done in writing so if a client wants to revoke consent they need to
write it down and give it to you showing that they want the consent revoked and
then you know if they're there you cross through the the consent form you write
void you date it you put your initials on it and they put their initials on it
that's the ideal situation they can mail in a letter revoking consent as well you
have to have the date or condition when the consent expires if not previously
revoked now my program we always did a standard one year or 90 days depending
on the program unless the client revoked consent however your program may be
different or the client may choose the wind' the timeframe the signature of the
patient and/or other authorized persons so if the patient is a minor or is not
able to sign for themselves and they have an authorized representative
you know you need those signatures your signature and the date on which the
consent is signed so generally you have a witness there and you have the date
that the witness and the person signed it so it has to have all ten of these
things when used in the criminal justice setting expiration of the consent may be
conditioned upon the completion or termination from a program so when Jim
Bob gets released from jail this consent expires is can happen
information can be shared within an agency on a need-to-know basis only with
people on the treatment team only so it need to know you know if you're not on
the treatment team then you don't need to know so we used to have this big
medical records room and you would walk into it and there were literally
thousands of files could I have pulled a file off the off-the-rack and looked at
it and read it yeah I could have but that's not okay that is a violation of
HIPAA as well as a bunch of others because I have no need to know about any
random patient that is being seen so it's important to make sure that you've
got good control over who can access records information sharing can be done
with the release it can be done to the client you don't have to have a release
to give the information to the client or under specific circumstances and that
goes into confidentiality we'll talk about a little bit later agencies
generally have policies for who is allowed to release information so the
lady at the front desk probably can't release information it probably has to
come from the therapist or from the risk manager clients have the right to review
and amend their records if they request to view or amend the record is denied
then we must provide a written explanation to the client so you know
generally write your notes and write your everything assuming the client is
going to read it use objective information don't be you know derogatory
in any sort of way explain your findings and you know keep the client involved if
they request to amend the record and and the agency denies it for some reason it
says no you can't see your record or no you can't amend it there has to be a
really really good reason we had some circumstances where the client wanted to
amend the record and our executives decided that the amendment they were
going to make was not didn't seem to really have a good grounding in reality
the client was allowed to submit their amend
in their handwriting and it was added to the case file and noted that this was a
client amendment to the case file so your agency may handle it multiple ways
but unless you provide them really good reason they have the right to review and
amend the record now that doesn't mean take out something that you put in there
because once something's in the record it's in the record henceforth and
forevermore but they can add an addendum and so can you all right HIPAA and
hi-tech these protect insurance coverage of workers when they're when they change
or lose their job this is the idea what it was supposed to be for its safeguards
the privacy of their information so if you're changing jobs or whatever you
know nobody can really access your information to find out anything about
you before they hire you etc it combats waste in healthcare delivery because it
insures or hope hopefully ensures that we're communicating and the portability
part of HIPAA means clients can take their record from one place to the other
so you don't have to duplicate the intake and all a bunch of the other
stuff necessarily and it simplifies administration of health insurance
those were the that was the hope of HIPAA it kind of ballooned out of that
so what do we need to know about HIPAA medical records are legal documents all
states have policies regarding record retention medical records of adults are
retained for seven years medical records of minors may be retained for longer so
you need to know what your state requirements are agencies and solo
practitioners should have policies identifying retention and storage
policies so how long do you store it how do you store it how do you keep it safe
who has access to it yada yada yada back to CFR 42 all
records must remove patient identifying information and sanitize software
printer ribbons FAQs hard drives and printer hard drives when you're talking
about disposing of files you need to dispose
of them in a way that removes patient identifying information and if you use
hard copy still if you have software and this includes the hard drive in your
copier a lot of people forget that one that has to be wiped and printer ribbons
have to be destroyed fax hard drives have to be destroyed and
printer hard drives have to be wiped and I guess wiping is really what we're
calling it you don't have to actually physically destroy it but it has to be
completely wiped don't just delete the file if you delete the file it goes in
bits and pieces into your computer's never-never-land so to speak but people
can put those pieces back together that's actually what my husband does for
his you know career is find those pieces that have had been lost or somebody
tried to delete something and he gets it back all client records and identifying
information must be kept out of sight of unauthorized personnel well we know that
so we keep our records behind to close to closed and locked doors okay that's
great we have passwords in order to get into
computer systems that's great but there are other things like lists and rosters
you know sign-in sheets technically are supposed to be kept out of sight and
people aren't supposed to be identifying information attendance records you don't
want have want to have clients coming up and signing their own attendance record
where they can see who and their groups been there for the past five days and
who hasn't appointment schedules you don't want to be a client a client to be
able to see what your schedule is for the week and who's coming in to see you
computerized information must be on an encrypted hard drive full encryption of
the whole hard drive not just that one folder client records need to be kept
you know secure and phone messages you don't want to have the secretary
sitting there with 17 phone messages across her desk while other people are
coming in and checking in and then looking and going oh I didn't know Bob
Jones was the client here so you need to make sure that phone messages are kept
you know if they have the little message sheets keep them in a like a cigar box
or a pencil box and then disseminate them to the therapists as appropriate
therapists do the same thing don't have receipt books or phone messages just out
where any client can see them if you discontinue your program you decide to
close your practice or your practice gets bought by somebody else it must you
must remove patient identifying information from your records or destroy
your records including sanitizing any associated hard copies or electronic
media to render the patient identifying information non retrievable in a manner
consistent with the policies and procedures established under CFR 42 part
2 unless the patient gives written consent to transfer the records to the
acquiring program so if somebody buys your program your your practice you have
to keep those files for that 7 year period or whatever but and you're not
going to transfer those unless you have written release from the client or if
there's a legal requirement that records be kept for a period specified by law
which doesn't expire until after the discontinuation or acquisition of the
program so again if you haven't met your 7-year requirement that's generally a
legal requirement you still have to hold on to those records but you're not going
to pass them on and definitely not pass them on with
patient identifying information to the new program unless you have a written
release records which are paper must be sealed in envelopes or other containers
and labeled as follows records of insert name of program required to be
maintained under insert the statute or regulation until a date no later than
insert the appropriate date so basically it says I have to hold on
everything in this box or in this envelope that is sealed until XYZ date
and time at which time it will be destroyed all hardcopy media from which
the paper records were produced also need to be sanitized in order to render
the data non retrievable records which are electronic must be transferred to a
portable electronic device with implemented encryption so a hard drive
that has that is encrypted so there's a low probability of assigning meaning
without the use of confidential processes or key so you know what's on
that hard drive it's encrypted so nobody else can access it even if you know they
were to put it into a computer but you still have the client information there
the electronic records must be transferred along with a backup copy to
separate electronic media so that both records and the backup have implemented
encryption so you don't want to just have one hard drive because hard drives
can fail you need to have backups in order to say you're securely sir
securely saving the data within one year of the discontinuation or acquisition of
the program all electronic media on which the patient records or patient
identifying information resided prior to being transferred must be sanitized so
again you want to check with your legal department to see where the seven year
rule falls but if it's outside of that seven year rule then definitely within a
year after that the information needs to be destroyed portable electronic vise
device or the original backup electronic media must be sealed in a container
along with any equipment needed to read or access the information this is
important because technology moves quickly and you know back when I started
working on computers we had those you know five and a quarter floppy disks you
can't find a computer now that can read those most computers don't even have CD
drives in them anymore everything has to be on a thumb drive so you need to make
sure that not only is the information there
but it will be readable in the future and then there's a special thing records
of this program required to be maintained under this legal authority
until a date not later than duh so you want to label everything so you know
what it is when it's to be destroyed okay so many agencies govern the content
scope and quality of documentation the single state authority or SSA in your
state has state service and licensing rules so it's important to communicate
with your SSA and that's generally also the agency that does your licensing so
when you get licensed as an independent provider you'll know what the
regulations are the SSA may set forth time frames for documentation completion
and who needs to sign and credential the documents so if you're a registered
intern or you're not certified yet who has to co-sign on your documentation
accreditation bodies also put their two cents in about documentation and they
addressed quality from an organizational leadership and client care perspective
so generally accreditation bodies are looking at quality of care and quality
of documentation so good quality documentation will hopefully show good
quality care many agencies govern the content scope and quality of
documentation including third-party payers who set the guidelines through
their level of care guidelines and other provider agencies so if you are when I
worked with the Department of Corrections for example they had certain
very specific requirements for the documentation of my clients so what
types of documentation are there there's lots screening is the first type of
documentation and good screening identifies the referral source the
presenting problems background biopsychosocial information and this
isn't going to be an in-depth everything but it's going to get a general idea
about what's going on so we can rule out or rule in physical issues social
relationship interpersonal issues as well as psychological issues is going to
note the person's emotional and mental status at that time it will note their
strengths and preferences for treatment for recovery for interventions and it
will make a recommendation for assessment or other referral as needed
so sometimes screenings just happen like it workplace affairs the screening
happens and it's like yep you seem to be fine
no further action needed by the bank and that chart is closed for others you may
determine that the person may need a physical to rule out you know things
like hyperthyroid that may be causing symptoms that look like hypomanic
symptoms or look like stimulant intoxication you may need to refer to
detox you may there are a lot of referrals that may need to be made but a
screening is not a diagnostic interview it's when you identify whether there's a
likelihood that the person may have a problem that needs further assessment
intervention documentation so intervention is like your entry level
services intervention documentation includes client identifying information
the source of the referral client placement information you know why were
they put into your program when were they put in how long are they going to
be there the screening information that got them to that point informed consent
for services including any drug testing that may be required and drug testing
has its own form that needs to be signed dated credentialed by the client and
counselor and witnessed and if you've done drug tests you know all this but
it's important to get that informed consent for intervention services
there's a release of information that has all the ten necessary components as
needed so if you need to talk to a referral source get a release of
information signed the intervention plan which is a lot broader or whatever you
want to say than a treatment plan is signed dated and credentialed by the
client and counselor and witness so you know
you know this with your documentation you've probably done this already you
know with intakes and everything else the client signs it you sign it you both
date it and you have to make sure your credentials are on it if you're not
already certified or licensed then you have to have somebody who is certified
or licensed cosign on it most of the time intervention documentation also
includes copies of correspondence or reports with referral sources and a
transfer or discharge summary at the end of the intervention service
administrative documentation in general this is going to be the stuff that's
used for billing it's not the clinical it needs to be accurate concise include
recommendations referrals case consultations legal reports family
sessions and discharge summaries what you're like well that's kind of clinical
isn't it a little bit but in order to get reimbursed the administrative side
of things we have to have good documentation in all of those areas
administrative documentation is conducted at admission and specified
intervals throughout care so your administrative documentation is going to
be a reassessment it's going to be your treatment plan updates it's going to be
all of those things so types of administrative documentation your client
identifying and demographic information referral source name and address
financial information assigned client rights document assigned informed
consent for treatment document any releases of information that you need
assigned orientation to the program indicating that the client did receive
orientation outcome measures that help identify whether your program is being
successful and when you know when JimBob meets these criteria he or she is going
to be ready for discharge and client placement information that goes back to
your a sam or your locus medical documentation which is often in another
section of the file includes the medical history the nursing assessment the
physical exam the lab tests which almost always have to include
a TB and pre-admission physical records of medical prescriptions and changes in
medications that occurred you know what prescriptions were the person on when
they got there and what what did they take while they were in your program
even if you're not residential you need to know what meds they're on and any
changes that their doc may make or your doc and what are they discharged with
your medication administration records so if you're in residential then the
client is probably going to or may receive medication while he or she is
there so the medication administration records need to become part of the chart
to show you know when Jim Bob took his medication who administered it and
yadda-yadda and nursing notes so any notes that your staff nurse makes
regarding the client's progress now clinical documentation is the stuff that
we enjoy doing screening assessment treatment planning progress notes and
your discharge summary so we're going to get into those in the
in a few minutes I do want to mention electronic health records really quickly
because you know you have all this administrative medical and clinical
documentation a lot of times now it's going into an electronic health record
health information technology is the secure management of health information
on computerized systems it helps track data over time track progress of those
who leave treatment and monitor quality care within practice just like
documentation does but when it's on a computer it's a whole lot easier to run
a program and get pretty little charts spit out behavioral health lags in
adoption of these electronic health records because of cost technical
limitations you know there's a lot of different players who want different
things so creating a standardized electronic health record for behavioral
health has been really difficult lack of standardization of data elements lack of
interoperability of systems between you know doctors and therapists and whatever
you know you have to have if your doctor has a system made by X Y Z and you have
a system made by Acme they still have to be able to talk it's kind of like
getting an apple or a Mac computer and a Windows computer to talk doesn't always
happen so we need to make sure that the different electronic health records out
there can communicate with one another attitudinal constraints we don't like
change an organizational lack of expertise in health information
technology management most programs don't have a technology director
especially smaller programs so integrating this is really overwhelming
and it can be really costly if everybody has to have a computer in order to put
in there their client information general elements of clinical
documentation whether it's administrative clinical or medical must
be clear concise accurate written in ink time stamped or dated so you have to
have all that information in there if you write
I've had some staff members their handwriting was atrocious you could not
read their notes or their assessments to save their life that is not good
clinical documentation because it doesn't help anybody documentation is an
ongoing responsibility for all professionals and should be completed as
soon as possible after the contact don't wait until Friday to do all your notes
for the week ethically you need to do it as soon as possible and I'll give you a
little hint when I do groups oftentimes I will have a sheet that I pass out at
the end of group has the client identify three things they got out of group and
then you know a couple other questions about you know how they're feeling if
they feel like they need a treatment plan reassessment and just a few other
things to give me information then I have something in the clients
handwriting to put in the chart but I also have the brunt of the progress note
kind of done already and if you use soap notes or DAP notes you can kind of put
that on there and have the client fill out what they think they would put for
their notes that's helpful in group for individual individual sessions are
generally supposed to be 45 to 50 minutes so I end right about 45 minutes
maybe a little longer tend to run late and the client and I create the progress
note together that way they review what we talked about they review the progress
they've made they review what they're supposed to be doing in the upcoming
week and they know what's going in the chart so it's not mystical and magical
you know they are an active participant and I have the note done before the end
of the hour so it's kind of a win-win-win all around
okay documentation of sure's accountability the responsibility for
accurately representing the client situation rests with the counselor and
the clinical record not the client so like I'm saying we can get all of this
input from the client but making sure that it's accurate when we put it in
there and you know pulling it all together is incumbent upon us
good clinical documentation spares the client from repeating painful details so
we're not going to have them you know if you're talking with a client about a
trauma situation you're gonna put enough in your clinical record that you don't
have to have them remind you you know remind me again about what happened when
your house burned down or what no that's rude um so you want to have enough
documentation that gives you an overview or the next counselor sort of an
overview of what happened and then if they need to delve into details later
they can language language must be objective but descriptive so if you're
saying that the client is decompensating well that doesn't tell me anything
in what way as evidenced by you know the client is I diagnosed with the client
with depression because they have these symptoms as evidenced by that is your
best friend phrase as evidenced by documentation must identify persons
places direct quotations and sources of information so if the client says you
know I'm really feeling off my game you can put that in there so we know kind of
where the clients coming from we want to use direct quotes from collateral
sources that we get and identify who gave us this information clinical
documentation is a legal record and the clinicians signature and credentialing
indicates the truthfulness of it so if you sign it then it happened the
treatment plan good treatment plans are hard to come by they're really easy to
write if you don't overthink it but I find that most people overthink it so
there's a hole that's actually a couple of classes on treatment planning because
it is so important not only to guide treatment but to help clients learn how
to set goals and achieve them treatment plans are a contract between the client
counselor and treatment team each being responsible for its development and
implementation the clinician needs to recognize that treatment occurs in
different settings over time so you know treatment may be happening but you know
counseling is only part of what going on there also in maybe case
management or vocational rehabilitation or you know so treatment occurs medical
in different settings and we need to be able to integrate all that into the
treatment plan much of the recovery process occurs outside of or immediately
following formal treatment when people do their homework assignments and they
have their aha moments when they generalize their progress when they
create that support system on the outside treatment is often divided into
phases engagement stabilization primary treatment and
continuing care treatment planning plots out a roadmap for the treatment process
treatment plans are completed once a diagnosis is made a level of care is
determined and the client is admitted to the program now after the initial
assessment there's usually an initial treatment plan done but the real
treatment plan generally needs to be completed within three to five days
after admission once the clinician has finished the assessment paperwork and
everything level of care is determined based on diagnosis and the clients
strengths and assets so if you're familiar with the a Sam for example
recovery environment is one of those dimensions that we look at and if
they've got a really strong recovery environment then the option may be or
decision may be made to refer the person to eiope instead of residential whereas
if they have a really poor recovery environment then we may opt to refer the
person to residential so they have a better chance in the first 30 to 60 days
of you know getting a handle on things treatment plans address all
biopsychosocial needs not just mental health they establish what changes are
expected through achievable goals clarifies what interventions and
counseling methods will be used to help the patient achieve those goals sets the
measures that will be used to gauge success and that's where we go with as
evidenced by again so if the client says you know instead of saying I'm going to
quit using drugs they may say I'm going to develop a healthier life
so how do we know when the client has developed what he or she defines as a
healthier lifestyle well as evidenced by I'm going to develop a healthier
lifestyle as evidenced by getting eight to nine hours of sleep a night eating a
relatively nutritious diet as decided upon but between myself and the
dietitian developing healthy support systems yada yada
you see what I'm getting at so you're going to be able to go through and
anybody would be able to go through and Mark off and say either yes or no
achieved it achieved it achieved it achieve the goal so it's kind of a yes
or no thing treatment planning incorporates the clients strengths needs
abilities and preferences and I'm big on this you all probably know that if you
took our addiction counselor certification training course
temperament is huge extroverts and introverts have different needs judgers
and perceivers have different needs auditory and visual learners have
different needs and people in general based on their culture and just their
cognitive aptitudes are going to have different strengths and needs so we want
to form the treatment plan around the clients strengths and build off what's
already there what already works referrals are made to other agencies as
needed when referrals are made collaboration is essential to keep
clients from falling through the cracks so treatment planning is going to
identify you know client will get enrolled for Medicaid well you're
probably not going to do that so you're going to identify who the client is
going to see at whatever office they've got to go to in order to get enrolled in
Medicaid but that's going to be part of the treatment plan treatment planning
information even within the agency is restricted to need-to-know and treatment
plans may have to be co-signed by a clinician who is already certified or
licensed the function of the treatment plan well treatment planning is an
action-oriented process that lays out logical goal directed strategies for
making positive changes just like if you're going to make
lasagna from scratch and you're gonna follow a recipe same sort of thing here
and based on your preferences you know when I make my marinara sauce I use roma
tomatoes that is my preference I know other people who use different kinds of
tomatoes so different preferences I know that I want to do it in a shorter period
of time so I'm not going to make the the noodles from scratch that's a need that
I have because I don't have the time to make noodles from scratch so my recipe
is going to be slightly different than my stepfather's recipe but that's okay
and treatment planning is the same way just think of it very very
simplistically like a recipe don't get too overwhelmed and tried trying to make
it too complex because clients aren't going to be able to make complex
treatment plans and treatment planning establishes a collaboration between you
and the client so you can mutually prioritize agreeable goals you figure
out what do you want I've worked with clients who were involuntary and you
know they didn't really want to quit using however they were on probation and
they wanted to get off probation well I wanted them to get off probation but I
wanted him to quit using in order to get off probation they had to be clean
during the time they were in treatment so that became our goal because that was
mutually agreeable you know it's like well your goal is to get off probation
in order to do that you got to stay clean so let's work together to make
that happen during the next 16 weeks and generally it worked that way achievable
goals are selected by assessing and prioritizing client needs and taking
into account their level of impairment if you've got a client who is
significantly impaired they've got major clinical depression they're detoxing
from five years of stimulant abuse they're not going to be going out and
getting a job next week that's you know well down the road so the goals we're
looking at now are more like stabilization and engagement you want to
take into account motivation what does the client want to achieve because
they're not going to be real motivated to achieve what you want
to achieve unless they want to get out they want to get discharged from the
program successfully and in order to do that they've got to meet your goals but
ideally help them identify goals that are meaningful to them and you're going
to look at the real world influences on needs so if they're going to be
discharged in 30 days even though they may not be quite ready to start looking
for housing if they need to have housing when they get out in 30 days then that's
probably going to be a high priority treatment plan goal because you don't
want them being discharged to the street treatment plants consider client needs
readiness preferences and prior treatment history looking at what did
and didn't work because there's no sense repeating something that you've done
four times that hasn't worked yet we're going to look at their personal goals
and then we'll look at obstacles like transportation and childcare and those
sorts of things that might preclude someone from going into residential or
make it difficult for them to get the evening IOP for example treatment plans
have SMART goals specific measurable achievable realistic and time limited
these goals are broken down into smaller objectives so you know think about it
like you want to climb a staircase well that's great that's your goal you want
to climb a staircase in the next 45 days wonderful you're gonna be taking a
little while at each step but each step is an objective so your end goal is the
top of the staircase what is the first thing you need to do to start moving
towards the top of that staircase what's your first step all right once you get
that done what's the next thing you got to do again think of the recipe first
thing you've got to do is find the recipe then you've got to figure out
what you've got on hand then you've got to figure out you know what you need
from the store then you've got to go shopping you know one step at a time
don't make it too complex treatment plans anticipate the type duration and
frequency of services so you know a lot of times we may say if they're in IOP
there's going to be three hours a day five days
week for the first month and then once they accomplish certain goals then they
can step down to three hours a day three days a week
etc treatment plans identify who's responsible for what so if the client
has to go do something it's going to be clearly indicated that the client needs
to make the appointment with social services to get enrolled in programming
versus the counselor will make the appointment for the client to go to
Social Services you know whoever supposed to do it it needs to be noted
and there has to be a timetable you know this needs to be accomplished by X date
if it doesn't get accomplished by X date it's not the end of the world however
you need to do a reassessment and go okay why didn't this happen
what do we need to adjust it incorporates client input and
participation in development it helps the client prioritize presenting issues
so I mean they come in and generally there's a whole litany of stuff that
they need to work on and it can feel really overwhelming
but I liken it to a woven blanket for clients that woven blanket is over your
head right now you can't breathe you can't see it's miserable it's hot any
string you pull on is gonna start making air holes in that blanket and making it
lighter and eventually you will unravel the whole blanket so let's figure out
you know of the issues that you've got going on right now which are most you
think are most important to work on and which are you most motivated to work on
what string are you willing to pull first you get input from client on their
goals and objectives so what is there as evidenced by look like you know if I am
happier as opposed to being depressed what is that going to look like if I am
healthier as opposed to unhealthy what is that going to look like how am I
going to know when I'm living a healthier lifestyle and both the
counselor and client sign the plan the clinician may also facilitate and manage
referrals because oftentimes we don't have case management that we can rely on
at minimum the plan is a flexible document that uses a stage match process
to address identified substance use disorders
so stage match process if you think back to the stages of readiness for change
pre contemplation contemplation preparation action and maintenance each
stage requires different interventions so that's tip 35 from Samsa if you need
to refresh it looks at the recovery support environment
it addresses potential potential mental health conditions you know based on
readiness for change for that issue you know somebody may be in the action stage
of readiness for change on their substance use but not you know ready to
do a lot about their anxiety it's usually the opposite but whatever so you
need to make sure that you stage match by issue because the person is not just
going to be globally in the action stage of change there are going to be some
things that they're not really that ready to work on yet you want to
identify potential medical issues employment education spiritual issues
social needs and legal needs and there are other things like childcare and
other wraparound services that can go into this too but these are the big ones
initial treatment plans are done an admission or within 24 hours based on
information from the assessment and screening and serves as the initial
roadmap they include presenting problems preliminary goals type frequency and
duration of service and the signature and date of the client and counselor
with counselor credentials so again this is the initial treatment plan as you get
into treatment and start to know the client a little bit better you're going
to formulate a more in-depth treatment plan this one has to be done either at
admission or within 24 hours an individualized treatment plan has the
problem and a problem description that answers the question why are you here
that's the problem not the goal I'm here because I have a substance use disorder
what's my goal to not have a substance use disorder it identifies the clients
strengths you know we are going to build on strengths so client will build on his
to stay clean and sober yada yada it has concrete measurable goals concrete means
you can observe them you can see them you can either say yes it was done or no
it wasn't not yeah it was probably accomplished it's yes or not the
objectives are there so that big goal is broken down into those smaller steps
it has strategies for achieving those smaller steps so you know if the first
step is to start building a recovery support network well that's wonderful
how are you going to do that strategies answer how you start going to a a
meetings you know start going back to church call up your five closest friends
that are healthy supports whatever the treatment plan includes the diagnosis
usually that's up at the top the signature of the client and counselor
and the signature of the clinical supervisor if required ongoing
assessment and collaboration is used to regularly regularly review the treatment
plan and make necessary modifications many IOP and residential programs have
to review the treatment plan once a week with the client and get the client to
sign off sometimes you get a 30-day reprieve but you need to know what your
payers and your state requires review should be completed at minimum at major
or key points in the client's treatment course including admission obviously
you're going to develop it readmission you know maybe they discharged and they
were out for three months and then they relapsed and they're back well you may
be able to look at their treatment plan and see where they're supposed to be
because they were in an IO P program and work with that but you're gonna need to
reassess it at readmission at transfer at discharge if there's a major change
in their condition such as you know they'd have a manic episode or they're
admitted to the crisis stabilization unit for suicidal ideation you're gonna
do a reassessment and after 12 months regardless of what's going on after 12
months progress notes document the clients progress in relationship
treatment plan goals and objectives each progress note should have the problem
name and number because most clients will have like three treatment plan
problems and then multiple like say eight objectives underneath it so maybe
substance abuse recovery is the first treatment plan problem okay so that's
problem number one and goal number a if you will the first goal is to start
developing a recovery support system so in the treatment plan if I talk with the
client about developing that recovery support system then I'm going to
identify that we talked about problem 1a and what we what we addressed the
progress note identifies what the client says and does generally I mean you're
not going to do it verbatim it puts in counselor observations and assessments
if the client seems to be doing really well as evidenced by and the clients
observations and assessments I always put those in there too how do they think
they're doing and what's their evidence as evidenced by and continued plans to
address the presenting problem you also may need to document any new information
if they get into a new relationship get a new job breakup
whatever that will go in the progress notes the format for most people is the
soap format the first part is the specific objective information and the
last part is the assessment the interpretations and the plan for how to
proceed you want to document the clients progress progress notes are based on
what the client says and it does what the clinician observes the clients
attitude demeanor nonverbals you know how compliant they are with treatment
the counselors knowledge and experience so counselors are going to be able to
differentiate between a lapse and a relapse for example they're going to be
able to differentially diagnose if the client starts presenting with some
symptoms of depression for example the clinician is going to rule out
the use of depressant substances they're going to rule out detoxification from
stimulants they're going to rule out hopefully medical conditions and they
may rule in mood disorders or something so differential diagnosis is important
to look at the physical and other potential causes for symptoms and danger
to self or others I encourage my staff at every single treatment meeting to
identify whether the client had any suicidal or homicidal ideation espoused
I mean if they said I'm suicidal or I wish I could end it all that needs to be
documented and to identify if the client had future plans was oriented to place
and time you know just a general Mini Mental Status exam at every contact is
really good to protect you and even in group I mean you're looking at people
and are they bright and are they oriented and are they talking about
future things or they withdrawn and sad and tearful and talk about how you know
there doesn't seem any point in being there well you know if you hear that you
probably need to pull them aside and talk to them more in depth so you know
get a some documentation that you had good contact with the client and you
have a good kind of idea about the pulse of things progress notes are not a
verbatim transcript but a cohesive summary so one page you know don't write
a dissertation the discharge summary discharge planning begins at admission
discharge planning begins at admission okay I know I said it twice because it's
that important you see client Jim Bob and you know your things are going well
but then client Jim Bob goes out and relapses and never comes back
well he's discharged at that point you don't know when the client is going to
discharge necessarily so if you begin discharge planning at admission which
actually is required by most insurance companies then you have a plan and you
and Jim Bob have made a plan for this is how you're going to progress
these are the options and resources available to you so Jim Bob has
something to work off of in case he never returns you want to
summarize in your discharge summary the service is delivered you know the
discharge summary is done when Jim Bob is actually discharging discharge
planning begins at admission so the discharge summary summarizes any
services you did deliver how well the client accomplished goals and objectives
and any discharge recommendations including referrals continuing care etc
the elements of the discharge plan include the referral source you know
because this is going to go back to the referral source saying Jim Bob
discharged this is the summary of what happened presenting problems and the
reason for services treatment goals methods and outcomes outcomes generally
pertain to the person's ability to attain recovery build resistance and
work learn live and fully participate in the community of choice so discharge
summary is basically a big summary of the entire treatment episode it's going
to indicate the condition of the client at discharge your prognosis and you know
that's a little subjective but we got to make it follow up recommendations
including continuing care and the aftercare plan and the counselors
signature date and credentials you want to include the reasons for discharge on
the discharge summary but reasons for discharge can be varied treatment
completion that's the idea they may lead leave AMA or against medical advice
that's not so ideal but it happens treatment non-compliance they're just
not getting with the program or they're showing up and they're under the
influence or you know a variety of reasons that it's therapeutically
indicated to discharge them or treatment was just incomplete you know again they
left before treatment finished they just it wasn't some what treatment incomplete
is a lot like AMA but those are the four main reasons for discharge identified
for the review exam organization of documentation is gonna
vary a little bit between each agency but each page has to have the clients
name and some sort of identifying number all entries must be signed if you make
an error in documentation you line through it once you don't scratch it out
you line through it once initial it date it and write error above it notes of any
sort should never be removed from a file if you have late entries or Corrections
they're put in as a separate document and noted as an addendum to you know
progress note from to one of 18 or whatever so clinical document character
at documentation characteristics need to be written knowing that others will read
it it needs to be objective you know stay away from vague terms like client
is doing well if you use a vague term then explain it as evidenced by uses
descriptive behavioral terms client is oriented to person place and time not
client seems to be with it today you know you want to use descriptive
behavioral kind of clinical terms it avoids jargon so you don't want to
overuse clinical clinical terms and it keep it simple again remember the client
may read this it's concise and it's positive you know these are the steps
the client is making this is the progress the client is making yes the
client has had a setback but hey he returned for treatment and you know
we're picking up and figuring out what we did wrong you don't want to be
doomsaying and talking about how the client is non-compliant and resistant
and just doesn't seem to want to be here and you want to keep it as positive as
possible focusing on the strengths and the progress and making lemonade
whenever you your client gives you lemons all right well that was a lot
that we covered and I know documentation is not the most interesting thing but
that kind of hits the highlights of what you need to know for
your addiction counselor certification exam if you need more training we have
lots of training at all CEUs calm and we have a full addiction counselor
certification track that is a little over 400 hours and of multimedia
information and that's for one hundred and forty nine dollars alright thanks
for participating today or listening today and I will talk to you again soon
this episode was pre-recorded as part
of a live continuing education webinar on-demand CEUs are still available
for this presentation through all CEUs register at allceus.com/counselortoolbox I’d like to welcome everybody to today’s
presentation of addiction and co-occurring disorders part two the physiology of addiction and mental
health issues over the next hour we’re going to discuss somewhat generally because there’s a
a lot of stuff to go over neurotransmitters which we’ve talked about some before but then we’re also
going to talk a little bit more today than we’ve talked in the past about sex hormones thyroid
hormones and stress hormones and how all of those interact in the body to increase or decrease the
availability of certain neurotransmitters we’re going to go on from learning about the different
hormones and neurotransmitters to discussing the physics all the physiology of emotion and
motivation and again we’ve kind of covered that but we’re going to go over it real quick again
we’ll talk about the physiology of sleep what happens during sleep and what happens to those
hormones or neurotransmitters when you don’t get enough sleep what happens when you eat why
is eating sometimes rewarding what happens when people take stimulants whether it’s caffeine or
methamphetamine what happens when we turn up the system and how does that affect the availability
of certain neurotransmitters and then we’ll talk about the physiology of depressants so we’re
looking in general at what these things do as far as the physiology of addiction we’re going
to talk generally about that right at the very end so your inhibitory neurotransmitters are
those brain chemicals turn down the system so instead of being hyped up and awake
and yadda-yadda your calm you are relaxed you are maybe even sleepy too drowsy so your inhibitory
neurotransmitters are the ones that kick in or counteract the excitatory ones serotonin
is your primary inhibitory neurotransmitter it’s broken down to make melatonin and help you sleep
okay so we know that it’s also responsible for a lot of our bowel function angle and also
for not it’s implicated in nausea and motion sickness and they found that there are a lot fewer
side effects to serotonin antagonists than there are to dopamine antagonists when we’re talking
about helping people who have motion sickness and nausea so anyway just a little aside there but
serotonin is 80 percent of it is actually in your GI tract and it is implicated in bowel function
so when we’re thinking about clients who may have an imbalance in serotonin and who may have greater
pain sensitivity we want to start thinking about you know how is their GI working and is are some
of their problems with you know stomach problems pain irritable bowel that kind of stuff is that
caused by a serotonin imbalance or is that causing a serotonin imbalance or maybe serotonin is not
implicated at all and it’s something completely different serotonin is also implicated in anxiety
and aggression if you don’t have enough of it you tend to be more anxious and aggressive because
you’re not having the turn down if you will low serotonin has also been implicated in poor impulse
control so we like serotonin but we found and we’re gonna talk about that throughout
this class of serotonin has often been given the go-ahead or been implicated for a whole lot of
things and we’ve said okay if this happens then it’s low serotonin if this happens then it’s low
serotonin and as it goes but no the research is finding that that’s rarely true that
most of our problems whether it be GI problems or mental health problems or addictive issues
don’t necessarily involve serotonin at all there is a subset of people for whom it does but the
majority of people which is why antidepressants are ineffective for about 70 percent of the
population for them shortie of the people it’s not serotonin so we do want to keep that in the back
of our mind yes serotonin is everywhere throughout the body 80% of it is in our gut and our gut is
not necessarily going to communicate directly with our brain we cannot measure neurotransmitter
levels effectively in a live human being just not how it works right now there are tests out there
that say they can measure your neurotransmitter levels and that’s true but it’s not telling you
how much of that neurotransmitter is in your gut or your muscles or wherever versus in your
brain so those tests for our purposes as mental health clinicians and people who come to us who
may want to know well what antidepressant should I be on they’re not all that effective
okay so depression has been debunked as being linked to serotonin in the majority of
cases serotonin is implicated as one of those neurotransmitters involved in pain control in people
with lower serotonin tend to have a lower pain threshold so it hurts more and that doesn’t mean
that they’re sissies or anything like that it just means that they are more reactive or they
feel more pain because they don’t have the same level of serotonin and maybe endogenous opioids
kind of coursing through their system serotonin is also like I said involved in sleep an interesting
fact is that alcohol impairs the body’s ability to convert tryptophan which is an amino acid
to serotonin so when you have somebody who’s an alcoholic let’s think about how this works
if they are drinking and maybe they’re eating a perfectly healthy diet and they just happen to
drink a lot if their body can’t convert tryptophan to serotonin then all of these problems up here
that may be implicated by low serotonin can start to rear their ugly head because the body can’t
To make serotonin out of anything else it has to make it from tryptophan and if it can’t make serotonin
then it can’t make melatonin which is involved in sleep and you’re gonna see how important all that
is later so the take-home message with that is that alcohol is something to be considered
for moderation especially if we have a client who is struggling with depression maybe they’re not an
alcoholic but they need to consider the long-term impact if they want to feel better is preventing
their body from making using the building blocks to make the neurotransmitters that they may need
is it worth that drink remember that serotonin has been found in research to be
implicated in low serotonin is implicated in people with generalized anxiety disorders so
it hasn’t been completely just been debunked for everything but researchers and clinicians
finally are starting to realize that there are a multitude of reasons that somebody could have
a mood issue that somebody could have even low serotonin okay if the person has low serotonin
alright that’s fine let’s address it but what is causing the low serotonin we’ll look at
that more in the next few slides GABA is your other major inhibitory neurotransmitter it has
sedative depressive and anti-anxiety properties to them the really interesting thing it’s and when
I say depressive I mean it slows down everything it’s not that it makes people depressed but it’s
your anti-anti-anxiety natural anti-anxiety neurotransmitter helps improve concentration by
filtering out background noise so you’re able to focus a little bit better when you’ve got normal
levels of gaba help with impulse control think about when you’re anxious when you’re a
little bit revved up when you’re stressed out and somebody scares you maybe you’re a little bit
more jumpy well think about if you have GABA at the right levels in your system and you’re not
stressed out and somebody scares you are you as jumpy are you as impulsive a lot of our impulses
are associated with wanting to make a threat or a pain go away so if you’re not perceiving as
many threats you’re probably not going to be as impulsive another little interesting side thing is
that glucose you know sugar is necessary for the formation of GABA so people with hypoglycemia
can have a reduction in GABA and an increase in anxiety so think about if your blood sugar
gets low even if you are not hypoglycemic but you know you got to work back-to-back patients
you didn’t take time for lunch yet back-to-back patients you’re on the drive home from the office
your blood Sugar’s low you are you more likely to respond with some anxiety or irritability to
things that happen versus when you are well nourished and your blood sugar is kind of stable
for most people, they’re gonna say yeah I tend to be a little bit cranky err when my blood sugar
is low and shake gear alright so those are our two inhibitory neurotransmitters glutamate is
generally acknowledged to be the most important neurotransmitter for brain functioning and
it’s excitatory it gets you up it gets you going it gives you energy and it’s responsible
for helping us learn and remember things so if you’ve got low levels of glutamate you know you
might have difficulty concentrating and learning now the interesting thing is that glutamine
which is an amino acid you eat glutamine is converted into glutamate all right well that
makes sense so you eat something it is turned into this neurotransmitter that’s excitatory the
interesting thing is gaba is made by the breakdown of glutamate so you have if you have glutamate
then you can have Gaba if you don’t have enough glutamate then you’re not going to have enough
GABA so it’s a balance like taking a warm bath and you know this is important to remember
simply because we want to know what’s rubbing us up and what’s slowing us down norepinephrine or
noradrenaline depending on where you are is what they call a catecholamine it increases arousal and
alertness promotes vigilance and focuses attention so you’re hearing a theme here about attention
and memory it enhances the formation and retrieval of memories so in your norepinephrine that’s your
motivation chemical is secreted it encourages you to pay attention to remember and to be able to go
and file things away and access them easily it can also promote restlessness and anxiety if
you have too much so it’s all about moderation when I talk about too much or too little of a
neurotransmitter everything is always about all of the other neurotransmitters and hormones
so we can’t just necessarily get a measurement and go well you’ve got too much of this well we have
to know what the levels of everything else are it would be kind of like making a marinara sauce and
saying you a teaspoon of garlic is how much you need but that teaspoon would be enough if you
were making maybe two quarts of marinara sauce but if you are making 4 gallons all of the
other spices and everything would be in much larger proportions so what a teaspoon be enough
so we need to know what proportions all the other chemicals are at in order to know how much we need
and since we can’t measure them we’re just kind of left guessing dopamine is another catecholamine
and it’s broken down to make norepinephrine now normally we think of dopamine as our pleasure
reward chemical which it is don’t get me wrong it’s that’s what is there for and it tells us
I want to do that again but it’s broken down to make our focus concentration motivation chemical
interesting so we need dopamine to make norepinephrine we need norepinephrine to want to
get up and go so if we are draining our dopamine system through addictive behaviors or some other
reason guess what we’re not going to be able to make enough nor epinephrine or those receptors
that usually receive the norepinephrine and the dopamine are going to be basically unresponsive
and you’re going to knock on the door and nobody’s going to open so dopamine is broken down to make
norepinephrine which is your motivation chemical high levels of dopamine in the brain generally
enhance mood and increase body movement too much dopamine may produce nervousness irritability
aggressiveness and paranoia so think about cocaine if somebody takes a whole lot of really good
cocaine this is probably what we’re going to see because the levels of dopamine in their brain
just skyrocketed and everything else didn’t catch up there was no signal to all the other chemicals
to go okay we’re gonna have a surge here so we have all of those neurotransmitters that are
responsible for helping us feel happy serotonin helps us feel theoretically calm and content
and focused gaba is an anti-anxiety medication or not medication but a neurotransmitter and then
dopamine glutamate and norepinephrine are all of our excitatory ones they’re the ones that get
us guess what excited happy excited mad excited whatever the excited is they Rev us up and that’s
what we label with our emotional feeling states so what is this HPA axis thing that I talk about
every once in a while in response to stress the level of various hormones change and reactions to
stress is associated with an enhanced secretion of several hormones including your gluta Co
corticoids which is cortisol your catecholamines to increase mobilization of energy sources
which is blah blah blah blah blah you get stressed your body sends out the message that
we need some energy we need some fuel for this fight-or-flight response cortisol is activated and
it’s a glue to co corticoid which tells your body we need to prepare we need to get some glucose
going so got energy for this fight-or-flight thing catecholamines adrenaline and dopamine are
released that’s your body going okay we have this energy now let’s get the team revved up the other
thing that happens though is jörgen a door opens are suppressed your body goes you know we don’t
really have time for sex right now so let’s not worry about it so your sex hormones tend to be
suppressed under high stress levels okay well who cares you’re gonna find out in a little while
but that’s kind of a big deal because there is a strong relationship between the amount of and the
balance of our sex hormones and the availability of serotonin-norepinephrine and dopamine in our
bodies oh well sweet this here we are androgen or testosterone what we want to look at is what does
it do it helps helps us with concentration mood and not enough of it can result in an increase in
belly fat they found that in men depending on the research that you look at somewhere between 30
and 40 years of age they start losing somewhere between 1% and 1.5 percent of their testosterone
each year and so you’re thinking well you know that’s not that much but you’ve also got to
remember that everything’s in a balance so they’re losing their testosterone but what else is
not decreasing estrogen so some articles have kind of termed it manopause if you will the increase
in estrogen can increase irritability difficulty concentrating and belly fat as well as Gyna
mastika or the development of excess fat in the breast area so something interesting to look
at if you’re dealing with patients male patients who are over the age of 40 who are having suddenly
if you will depression or anxiety issues or are talking about their midlife crisis that those
all of those things could be precipitated by in their neurochemistry because of a drop
in testosterone not necessarily but it’s one positive or one possible reason estrogen believe
it or not is a neuro stimulant estrogen revs us up receptors for estrogen are very abundant
in the emotional center of the brain called the amygdala and the hypothalamus which is involved
in what we just talked about the HPA axis which tells us to fight flea or freeze estrogen
increases serotonin receptor responsive ‘it increases the number of serotonin receptors
in the body and enhances serotonin transport and uptake so we might hypothesize and we don’t
know any of this for sure that if someone’s mood disorder started or fluctuates in response to
fluctuations in their estrogen then there might be a serotonin component to this mood disorder
because estrogen is so intimately connected with serotonin availability high levels of estrogen are
associated with anxiety one thing that they found in American culture and industrialized nations
but especially American culture is we have a lot of chemicals and stuff that we eat that tend
to and habits that we do that tend to increase our levels of estrogen creating something called
estrogen dominance but high levels of estrogen are associated with anxiety so one thing clients
may want to do especially female clients but you know if you have a male who is feeling like
estrogen may be increasing too much I have them look at what they’re doing as far as lifestyle
factors to see if there’s anything that might be increasing their estrogen levels low levels of
estrogen are associated with depression because there’s not enough serotonin going around but also
because estrogen is a neuro stimulant and if it’s not there then there’s no stimulation so alright
so now looking at first we started implicating just neurotransmitters and going well if you don’t
have enough of this or too much of this then you might be depressed well now we’ve added to the
mix and said well guess what these imbalances over here in the neurotransmitters may be caused
by something completely different such as sex hormones progesterone is another sex hormone an
imbalance in the ratio with estrogen is implicated in mood disorders so progesterone kind of calms
down estrogen they’re yin & yang if you will kind of like GABA and glutamate it’s referred to as the
relaxation hormone the interesting thing here is synthetic progesterone which is present in a lot
of birth control is associated with depression whereas naturally occurring progesterone levels
haven’t had that same associate association drawn in the research literature so another thing to
look at with our female clients is possibly to ask them have they and if they’re presenting with
depressive symptoms have they changed their birth control regimen or have they recently gotten
pregnant or had a baby or stopped nursing and that was one I learned you know when I stopped
nursing my first child was your body actually maintains different levels of hormones and makes
sense maintains different levels of hormones when you’re nursing so you’re producing milk and stuff
and then when you stop nursing there’s a whole different hormonal cascade that happens so there
are multiple different times that estrogen can change and progesterone levels can change ganado
trope ins hormones synthesized and released by the anterior pituitary promote the production of
sex hormones so remember earlier I said that when we’re under stress our body releases cortisol
and cortisol tells our body you know what we don’t need to produce those sex hormones right now
so let’s connect it all if you’re under a lot of stress you may not be producing enough estrogen
which is why a lot of women when they’re under a lot of stress tend to have more erratic cycles but
even in men when your sex hormones are not being produced because your body’s focused on fight
or flee it makes the availability of serotonin and norepinephrine and dopamine less available
so chronic stress can alter the availability of sex hormones which alter the availability of
neurotransmitters okay you wanted some good news we got some good news oxytocin is our bonding
hormone and they found that it can counteract cortisol and vice-versa it’s not just getting a
hug though so I mean hugs are great don’t get me wrong but a lot of research has indicated that
people who have companion animals and pet their companion animal it can be a horse it can be a
dog it can be a cat a bunny rabbit whatever it is that does it for you where you feel that
sensation of bonding 15 minutes of petting that animal raises oxytocin levels and which
counteracts cortisol sweet thyroid hormones yet a whole nother category so we’re moving off
of the sex hormones onto our thyroid you have two types of thyroid hormones thyroxine and
the other one that I can’t pronounce t4 and t3 t4 is broken down to make t3 they are always
in a balance they’re always in a ratio too much thyroid hormone which typically is t3 speeds
things up and too little slows things down so think about somebody who’s hypothyroid they have
symptoms of depression one of the things we want to rule out early on with our patients who present
with the pressive symptoms is thyroid problems the patients with too much thyroid hormone may
present with anxiety symptoms so again we want to look and say is there a physiological cause to
the neurotransmitter imbalance the pituitary gland hypothermic hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis
so this is the middle of that stress axis here the pituitary gland releases thyroid stimulating
hormones to get the thyroid to release t4 and t3 majority of the thyroid hormones produced by the
thyroid are t4 but t3 is the most usable form so it sends out t4 which is kind of you know it’s
just kind of there it’s not a real hard worker at all but along the way it gets converted to 3
t3 which is a workhorse this conversion is the critical element because a lot of times doctors
will test thyroid secreting hormone and t4 alone and they’ll say well you’re secreting enough and
there’s plenty of t4 to be broken down to t3 so I don’t know why you have hypothyroid symptoms but
the piece that they’re missing is they may not be we may not be adequately converting t4 to active
t3 so it’s important if you think you have thyroid issues going on to work with an endocrinologist
who’s going to do more than just a superficial test or if you go to a GP you have and they do
just a TS h t4 test comes back normal but you’re like no something’s not right there are more tests
that can be done to be more specific about what’s available because if we’ve got a client who goes
to the doctor and says doc you know I feel awful I can’t wake up I’ve got no energy they run these
tests they say well there’s nothing wrong with you that just disempowers the client the clients
going well nothing’s wrong with me I don’t know why I feel this way I have no hope for getting
better because I don’t know what’s wrong so I want to make sure that we educate them about all
the possible things that they might be able to look into I don’t dump all this on my clients at
first you know when I go through the assessment I start listening for things and then I encourage
them to get a full blood panel done and then we talk about all that when they come back and
then narrow it down to other things that they may want to look at further testing for if the
general assessment didn’t come back with anything overactive thyroid produces anxiety feelings of
nervousness butterflies heart racing trembling irritability and sleep difficulties under activity
depressive symptoms the other interesting thing and I don’t know what other word to use is
if it’s either overactive or underactive the person can have mood swings and have sleeping
difficulties so we don’t want to just say well you’re having mood swings it must be hyper
we don’t know so we want to look at maybe the thyroid gland is sputtering and giving a little
bit and then not enough and then a little bit and then not enough it’s just important for
them to understand what the thyroid hormone does other cognitive issues difficulties with
concentration short-term memory lapses and lack of interest and mental alertness are also common
in hypothyroid but they’re also common in a whole bunch of other things I mean most of these
sound like what the criteria for depression so we’re trying to sort through and figure out
what may be going on with that particular client hypothyroidism led to a significant decrease of
responsiveness of the serotonin system so again here’s something else if you don’t have enough
estrogen or if you don’t have enough thyroid the serotonin system may be implicated and we know
that serotonin insufficiency is implicated in generalized anxiety disorder so one of those
little paths to kind of be aware of optimal thyroid function may be necessary for optimal
response to antidepressants antidepressants mean the serotonin is still there but if estrogen
and thyroid are responsible for transporting it around and making sure it gets taken up in
the right places then if those two systems aren’t working no matter how much serotonin
is in the system of it’s not getting to the right places it’s not do the job hypothyroidism
generally increases enzyme activities and GABA levels now you may go well sweet we want more
gaba but we don’t too much gaba has too much of a depressive effect so the person may not be
motivated may feel apathetic about things they can’t get excited about anything so there is such
a thing as being too chill thyroid hormone plays a role in the output of dopamine the precursor to
norepinephrine our motivation chemical not enough thyroid hormone not enough excretion of dopamine
not enough get up and go and norepinephrine has also insufficient norepinephrine has also
been implicated in depression so you know serotonin is not even in there we’re talking
about thyroid dopamine and norepinephrine stress hormones so we’ve moved on cortisol
it’s released from that HPA axis cortisol triggers a decrease in leptin and an increase in
gralen which increases appetite and food intake cortisol is telling you there is a threat we
need energy we need to mobilize the sugars because it’s a glucocorticoid but we also need to
get more sugars in here so we have energy for the fight-or-flight as long as it goes on which is why
a lot of people who are chronically stressed also feel like they’re chronically hungry they’re just
like I’m famished all the time and it may not be that their body needs all that energy all those
calories right now their body may be hoarding it because they think they’re going to have to it’s
gonna have to fight or flight flee for a long time cortisol also affects the endocrine system
including thyroids insulin regulating blood sugar and your sex hormones all right well that’s not
good so when people are stressed they maintain higher levels of cortisol when they maintain
higher levels of cortisol basically every bodily system and all the neurotransmitters are impacted
adrenaline is another stress hormone you know we think about it when somebody gets really upset or
excited or whatever they have a rush of adrenaline alright sigh Roxon is also released from the
kidneys and are from the thyroid and helps you get fatty acids which are long term long term
energy fat has nine calories per gram sugar has four calories per gram so fat is a much denser
source of energy effective chronically elevated cortisol includes impaired cognitive performance
you’re not thinking as well dampen thyroid function yep eventually the body goes there’s no
point the stress is not going to go away there’s no point in continuing to fight so I’m going to
turn down the sensitivity of the symptom blood sugar imbalances sleep disruption elevated blood
pressure lowered immune function and increased abdominal fat so if a client starts talking about
how they’re stressed they’re hungry all the time and they keep suddenly gaining all this weight
in their belly we might start looking at chronic stress and interventions that we might use for
chronic stress including mindfulness meditation exercise you know anything that we can throw
their way in addition to having them get a full physical to make sure there’s nothing else going
on like you know actual hyper hypothyroid caused by a physiological problem low levels of cortisol
brain fog cloudy headedness mild depression low thyroid function again blood sugar imbalances
such as hypoglycemia and remember when you’ve got blood sugar imbalances and not enough sugar
then your body cannot produce enough gaba which means you’re not going to have enough naturally
relaxing chemicals fatigue especially morning and mid-afternoon sleep disruption low blood pressure
lowered immune function and inflammation so these are all things that we can produce to work
our clients to say cortisol it’s not public enemy number one but it’s pretty close to it so
let’s look at how your cortisol levels how you’re sustained chronic stress might be impacting
your mood your health and your sleep and think about different ways we can reduce that because
that’s more tangible and cortisol is measurable obviously the doctor has to do that but it is
measurable in general when we feel emotions a stimulus is received by our peripheral peripheral
nervous system the brain responds by triggering the amygdala which is our emotion center and
the hypothalamus assesses if you will the need for fight or flee it goes there’s a threat or
there’s no emotional memory that helps the brain determine the types of neurochemicals to secrete
and in what amounts if the hypothalamus goes yeah no big deal then you’re going to have more
inhibitory neurotransmitters then if you have your hypothalamus going that’s a problem what we need
to look at and this adds another layer is when there is too much of a chemical or hypersensitive
receptors so hypersensitive receptors are like the person that you know that jumps when you tap them
on the shoulder somebody who’s hyper vigilant when they are activated they go from 0 to 100 and
it’s just like in sensitive receptors on the other hand when they’re activated they may not do
anything at all so you may have enough chemical in the system but if the receptors are not receptive
then the chemical can’t do its job so if serotonin is sitting outside the receptors door just kind
of knocking on it going let me in and that door never gets opened then it doesn’t matter how much
serotonin is sitting in the synapse it’s not going to do any good so as I said before all every
time I talk about too much and too little it’s always relative to the proportions of the other
hormones and neurotransmitters for that person anxiety irritability and anger our fight-or-flight
response can be caused by dot dot dot too little serotonin where you have anxiety coming
on because serotonin is not there to help the person calm too little GABA again not enough
calming too much norepinephrine too much estrogen too much testosterone or too much thyroid so
any of these too much is going to cause one symptom either anxiety or irritability or anger
and too little will probably produce something more on the depressive continuum now happiness and
excitements an interesting one because happiness and excitement are excitatory neurotransmitters
they’re going to get your heart rate going they’re gonna get your blood blood flowing they’re gonna
get your breathing a little bit faster think about Christmas Christmas morning when you run down the
stairs in order to see what’s under the Christmas tree or something else that is really exciting
your body is secreting dopamine norepinephrine glutamate and maybe a little bit of serotonin
in there but these are the same chemicals that are going out during a stress response it’s how
the amygdala processes everything so we still need these excitatory neurotransmitters we can’t
just shut them down and go well that’s causing too much problem let’s turn it down well if we turn it
down we’re also turning down the body’s ability to Spahn to happy stimuli and like I said depression
can be caused by serotonin insufficiency or excess and why is it excess when you have too much
serotonin or too little serotonin you can have high levels of anxiety they found and high
levels and anxiety trigger the stress response system after a certain period of time the stress
response system goes you know what I can’t stay this hyped up for this long I’ve got to turn down
my sensitivity I’ve just got a you know let it all go which starts leading to feelings of apathy and
depression it can be caused by nor norepinephrine insufficiency dopamine insufficiency thyroid
insufficiency or gain too much or too little estrogen the good thing is I Roy dand sex
hormones can be measured so we can easily or somewhat easily help the person rule those in
and/or rule those out as can cortisol so if they have chronically elevated or chronically low
levels of cortisol they’re going to have some mood symptoms but we can figure out that that’s
going on and we can help educate the patient to why they’re having the symptoms they are it’s
not all in their head the New England Journal of Medicine on major depression said numerous
studies of norepinephrine and serotonin in plasma urine and cerebrospinal fluid as well as
post mortem Studies on the brains of patients with depression so we’re talking about humans
not just rats studies have yet to identify the purported deficiency reliably so while we’re
talking about depression being caused by if you will norepinephrine or serotonin deficiency
there’s no real research that can reliably say yes this is it 100% of the time or even 95% of the
time it’s more like yeah 15 percent of the time so yes deficiencies in norepinephrine and and or
serotonin does cause depression in some people but that is a small subset and they found that there
are 20 or 30 small subsets of different causative factors estrogen and progesterone modulates sleep
and too much estrogen can cause insomnia so again if you have too much estrogen well you may have
plenty of serotonin going on you also may not be able to sleep sleep deficiency promotes elevated
cortisol and further disrupts our feeding hormones now for cortisol is elevated we’re not going
to get good restful sleep sleep deficiency is related to a 30% reduction in thyroid hormone
levels so again remember that the body finally after chronic stress will start turning down
the thyroid it’s just like there’s no need to exert any more effort because this is a losing
proposition with sleep deficiency the thyroid hormone levels go down cortisol levels go up
which is your stress chemical so everything’s starting to get out of whack when people eat
serotonin suppresses appetite and increases with feeding so as we eat our serotonin levels go
up especially for eating carbohydrate-rich foods but anytime we’re eating so if there’s not enough
serotonin people’s appetite suppression may be off but that’s also one of the reasons that people eat
for comfort is because serotonin helps them feel a little bit better so when they’re eating serotonin
goes up dopamine is associated with safety ATP handy which is great but if you don’t have enough
dopamine then you may never feel satisfied as we talked about before cortisol increases appetite
and neurons involved in the regulation of feeding are located in the hypothalamus so when you’ve
got that hypothalamus pituitary adrenal axis all activated all the time the HPA axis you’re
feeding is going to be probably way up here because the hypothalamus is going there’s a threat
we need food we need we need energy and all of these chemicals are involved in stress response
stimulants stimulants set off the stress response system by causing the body to kind of dump if
you will sigh roid hormones stress hormones and suppress sex hormones you know that HPA axis it’s
activated excitatory neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine gets secreted so if you’ve got
a lot of pleasure reward focus and concentration going on and you’re just like woohoo yeah you’re
probably gonna want to do that again but when that wears off when stimulants wear off they wear
off a whole lot faster than what our normal neuro chemicals would normally do so when they wear off
there’s a sudden lack of stimulation pleasure and reward and there’s an excess of gaba and other
other neurochemicals when people drink alcohol initially gaba goes way up when they drink the
alcohol and they feel relaxed and disinhibited and all that kind of stuff the alcohol wears off and
all of a sudden in proportion to everything else there’s way not enough gaba so anxiety goes way up
so what we want to remember is when we’re taking substances or engaging it well taking substances
specifically they are going to impact and wear off in a much different rate than what would happen
from our body normally excreting or causing those neurochemicals to be excreted depressant
increase gaba and may increase serotonin so they found that alcohol may increase serotonin it also
increases gaba but again when it wears off you got a problem what there are other depressants out
there besides alcohol though so it’s important to know what are your clients taking what are they
using recreationally not to be judgmental you know if you have a couple drinks in the evening it is
what it is what other things are you taking are you using including looking herbs like valerian
Valerians are pretty powerful depressant so it’s important to know what what they’re taking so
they know what impact is having on their body there are a variety of neurotransmitters that
are implicated in moods sex stress and thyroid hormones among others modulate the secretion and
absorption that is modulate the availability of these neurotransmitters so if there’s a lack
or an insufficiency proportionally speaking of norepinephrine what we want to ask is not how do
we increase it but what’s causing it why is there an imbalance in norepinephrine in this particular
patient dysphoria is about having an imbalance not necessarily too much or too little you may have
too much X in relation to Y too much glutamate in relation to GABA so talking with your clients
if they start taking medications talk with them about how they feel and whether it’s getting worse
you’re getting better to help understand you know are we targeting the right things here sleep
deprivation directly contributes alterations in hormone and neurotransmitter levels and
excessive eating may be caused by high cortisol levels because the brain thinks it needs to store
energy for the long fight sex hormones impact the availability of serotonin but oxytocin has been
shown to inhibit cortisol so pet a dog get a hug do something to promote bonding it will help
with stress levels dysphoric moods are caused by a neurotransmitter imbalance but what causes
that imbalance in each person berries greatly and they found it even berries greatly among
people with PTSD so just like depression PTSD does not have one simple cause a cascade effect
can happen when any one of these systems goes offline so if the thyroid system goes offline has
a dysfunction for some reason it may negatively impact all the other symptoms because it’s
going to change the balance and the ratios of all the other hormones and chemicals involved
in those feedback loops so final thoughts chronic stress impairs sleep which causes imbalances
and hormones and neurotransmitters involved in eating sleeping mood attention motivation
and sex disruptions in nutrition can fail to provide the building blocks for the hormones and
neurotransmitters so it could be something as simple as you know eating junk food every day
sleep impairment is associated with decreases in thyroid hormones and increases in cortisol and
dysregulation of eating so if somebody’s hungry all the time but they’ve got a low mood and you
know they present with depressive symptoms we may want to look at what’s going on and could
it is a factor contributing to this is sleep um but any of these things could also contribute
to problems with sleep estrogen and testosterone, imbalances can cause depression or anxiety like
symptoms and thyroid hormone imbalances can also cause depression and anxiety-like symptoms so the
the take-home message is this stuff is stinkin complicated but what we know is everything
is intimately interconnected so we don’t want to just start by saying well it sounds like
you’ve got this and try to pigeonhole everybody into one particular causation we need to
understand what’s going on with them and since we can’t measure brain neurochemicals to figure
out exactly which one’s out of whack that’s where the part art comes into psychology as part art
and part science okay so are there any questions you I think you’re all probably feeling like me when
after I wrote this I worked on research for about 20 hours and I was all but drooling at myself
by the end I was like really I tackled a pretty deep subject for an hour and you may need to
go back and look at the presentation to kind of make all the connections and connect the
dots as it applies to your clients but let’s see thinking about autism symptoms and these
issues and body functions and hormones yeah I mean certainly autism is correlated and I’m
pretty ignorant as to the neurophysiology of autism but I would think that there’s a strong
correlation with the neurotransmitters so I would look at other systems to see if there are
something that’s going offline that may be contributing to the neuro neurotransmitter
imbalance when symptoms are exacerbated which makes me think you know again
I don’t know as much I don’t know much about autism but when a client begins
stemming I’m wondering if those impulsive behaviors mean there’s high
levels of anxiety at that point so I’m wondering what’s happening with the stress
response system in the GABA feedback loop I would love after you guys kind of
digest this and stuff if you have any thoughts reactions connections I would
love to hear back from you I’ll put my email and other than that have a wonderful
amazing weekend and I will see you on Tuesday if you enjoy this podcast please like and
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a 20% discount on your order this monthAs found on YouTubeHuman Synthesys Studio It’s Never Been Easier To Create Human Spokesperson Videos. No Learning Curve, So Easy To Use
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as part of a live continuing education webinar on-demand, CEUs are still available for this presentation at AllCEUs.com/counselortoolbox I’d like to welcome everybody to today’s
presentation of dialectical behavior therapy techniques emotion regulation we are going to
start by reviewing the basic premises of DBT and the reason we’re doing that we’re only
going to do it in this one because emotion regulation we’re starting kind of at
the beginning but we want to go over what is the theory underlying a lot of what we’re going
to talk about we’ll learn about the HPA axis and this isn’t something that Linehan talks about
in DBT but it is important for understanding our physiological stress reactions will define
emotion regulation identify why emotion regulation is important and how it can help clients ourselves
staff yay and we will finally explore some emotion regulation techniques there are things
besides just preventing vulnerabilities that we can provide to clients to help them regulate
their emotions before moving into that distress tolerance realm of skills and activities so basic
DBT premises everything is interconnected when you get up in the morning if you’re having a bad
the day you know you didn’t sleep well your back hurts you’re cranky you got a lot of stuff to do
it’s raining outside you know yay you’re noticing all the negatives your thoughts
maybe more negative you may be more likely to notice the negative you may be more likely to have
what we call commonly call a bad attitude if you start to have a better attitude what happens to
what you observe and we’ll talk about that in a little while the reality is not static what is true
right now in the present may not be true which is you know was the future from what
the present was half a second ago so reality changes when we look at a situation when we look
at an event, we’re looking at how am i reacting and what is my feeling about the situation right now
you know we can learn to change where we’re at but with the information, I have right now what’s
going on and a constantly evolving truth can be found by synthesizing different points of view
because most of the time as humans it’s just kind of part and parcel of being humans we don’t have
the whole picture and I did the best I could with these little graphics here think back if you will
to some of PJ’s experiments when he was trying to demonstrate egocentrism when we’re looking at
this yin and yang sort of model the girl’s stick figure what does she see if you ask her what
color is this orb she would probably say black because we’re assuming she sees the black side
if we ask this little thick figure model over here what color is the orb she’s seeing the white
side so he’d say white now if we asked a little confused guy who is standing kind of on the third
side or the south side he sees both of them so he hears the stick figure girl say it’s black he
sees a stick figure boy say it’s white and he’s going well it’s kind of both you can synthesize
both perspectives and figure out that this is an orb that has multiple colors even though she
can’t necessarily see those colors and he can’t necessarily see those colors so BBT says let’s try
to take a look and see if there are blind spots see if there are things we’re not seeing or things
we didn’t observe the basic assumptions of DBT and well people do their best if we didn’t think
that we probably wouldn’t be in this profession so people are doing their best with the tools they
have and the knowledge they have at any given time and I added that extra part people
want to get better and be happy most people don’t want to be miserable if it seems like they don’t
want to get better then we need to ask ourselves what is the benefit to staying miserable why is
it is scarier more threatening more awful to look at getting better or being happy and that’s one of
those motivational things we’re not going to go there today but in general people are going to
choose the most rewarding option when prevents presented with multiple options okay now this
one area in that I kind of diverge from the official statement is clients need to work harder and be
more motivated to make changes in their lives I’ve had a lot of clients who have been working their
butt off but they may not have the right tools it’s like trying to unscrew something that is
Phillips head with a butter knife they’re working hard but it’s not going anywhere because
they can’t get any traction so I crossed out the work harder and I tend to replace it with work
smarter clients need to work smarter they need to have more tools they need to have more effective
tools and some of the tools they have may be awesome if we just tuned them up a little
bit sharpen their oil and grease them whatever you need to do and be more motivated to make changes
in their life and you’re saying well they’re in therapy they’re coming here for whatever reason
there why aren’t they motivated to make changes well again let’s look back at motivation and what’s
the most rewarding choice is if they tried to make changes before and it hasn’t worked out and
they’ve been told that it was their fault they were being resistant or you know they were blamed
in some way or they just felt disempowered what’s going to make them motivated to try to do that
again please let me run the gauntlet most people don’t want to do that so we need to help
clients work smarter and understand that they are working hard and they need to continue to do so
and we’re going to help them get more effective tools and we need to help them get more motivated
we need to help them see that this time it’s going to be different maybe a little bit different
but this time we’re trying something new it may be different even if people didn’t create their
problems they still must solve yep you know if you grew up in a dysfunctional household you
didn’t create that problem but it is negatively impacting you today so you’re going to have to fix
it if you want to be happy which is the whole goal of the lives of suicidal or addicted
people are unbearable and when we’re talking about DBT we’re generally talking about people
who are highly emotionally reactive and suicidal self-harm those behaviors are away at this point
that they’re trying to figure out how to tolerate what seems like an unbearable situation in their
head addiction is much the same way it provides some relief from something they feel they have no
control over people need to learn how to skillful live skillfully in all areas of their life well
yeah because every area is interconnected if you’re stressed out at work do you just
leave work go home and you have not stressed out anymore no that’s not the way it works it would
be great if it did but it’s just not even if you don’t take all your stresses of work home with you
it has taken a toll on your energy level so when you get home you’re more vulnerable to emotional
upset or just fallen asleep on the couch at 6:00 p.m. Whatever it is so we need to help people
learn how to live skillfully in each area so the exhaustion or negativity or whatever it is
from one area doesn’t bleed over into the other area so we need to learn how to juggle stresses
in all of our areas to prevent vulnerabilities and people cannot fail in treatment when someone
relapses when someone you know backslides whatever word you want to use I look at it as a learning
the opportunity I say okay you made a different choice than we wanted you to make a different choice than
you were hoping you would make so let’s learn from and figure out why that was the most rewarding
choice than what was on your treatment plan the goal that you’re working toward why what
happened what were you more vulnerable so you didn’t choose the newer behaviors because they
weren’t as readily available let’s use this as a learning opportunity to figure out what’s going
on it’s not a failure it’s a learning moment or a teachable moment so what is emotion regulation
emotional dysregulation will start there results from a combination of high emotional
vulnerability so you’ve got somebody who is kind of reactive and extended time needed to return to
baseline so that when they get upset it takes them longer to de-escalate and get back to baseline
and an inability to regulate or modulate one’s own emotions so I want you to think about some
the time that you’ve been driving on the interstate and you’re just driving along cruising along and
heaven forbid if this has happened I hope not but if it did you’re probably just late a semi comes
along and runs you off the road onto the shoulder and oh my gosh you get onto the shoulder your legs
just to go in like this you can’t even press the gas pedal because you are so stressed out you’re
gripping your knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel so tight your heart racing you’re
breathing fast you’re in full-out fight-or-flight mode so you went from a1 on the stress meter
you know kind of cruising along aware of the fact that you need to be cognizant of dangers to
a5 of oh crap that could have been bad alright so you take a couple of deep breaths you
your breathing goes down a little bit you get to the point where you can press the gas
pedal and you pull back out onto the highway now are you returning to baseline and just like
la-dee-da cutting around like you were before most likely not you’re a little bit more
on edge and you’re checking your bat rearview mirror more often you’re looking back making
sure nothing’s in your blood spot more awesome so you’re not returning to that same level of less
stress Tunis if you will you stay a little bit elevated because your brain is gone you know I
thought it was kind of a safe situation but I’m realizing now that not so much so I’m going to
keep you on higher alert and it’s going to take longer for you to return to baseline because
you’re looking for those threats now you’re much more aware that it could happen to people who
come from invalidating environment people who are regularly chronically stressed they’re constantly
looking around for anything else that is going to threaten them anything else that’s going to stress
them out so they’re not going from a 1 to a 5 back down to a 1 again they’re going from a 1 to a 5
back down to a 2 and then back up to a 5 and then now we’re only going down to a 3 it’s that
stress is ramping up so we need to figure out how to help people deescalate get back down to that
one and realize okay I got this that was an unpleasant situation but I got this now emotional
vulnerability refers to the situation in which an individual is more emotionally sensitive or
reactive than others or then they normally would be you know some people this is kind of and when
we’re talking about personality disorders this is pervasive when we’re talking about someone who
has been under a bunch of stress for six months this may be a situational sort of thing that we
need to help them figure out how to get out of but it may not be something that is completely
and utterly pervasive in any event when you are stressed you know you’re already kind of on edge
and something happens do you react the normal way that you normally would if you were just like
sitting there and going off oh well okay let’s figure out how to handle this or does it throw
you up sort of into the stratosphere and for a lot of people with emotional dysregulation when
they’re their relaxation is on the brink of chaos so they’re standing there teetering
and they’re going okay I cannot take one more wind or it’s going to push me over and then they
call them damp they get upset and they’re kind of on freefall for a while they get their balance
again but then they’re still right there on that precipice they never come down so what
we want to look at is what’s going on with these people that’s making them more reactive that’s
making them more alert and more hyper-vigilant to stresses and stressors some of these may be
because of differences in the HPA axis which play a role in making people more vulnerable or
reactive and we’re going to talk about the HPA axis in a minute environment of people who are
more emotionally reactive or often invalidating and what does that mean well pick Jane Jane
has had a heck of two years you know there’s just been death after death a job loss
she lost her home she’s living in an apartment right now but she’s not happy and you know yeah
you can just pile stuff on okay so James struggling right now she’s holding on and really
trying to do the next right thing she’s trying to make ends meet trying to do what’s right
by our kids just feeling stressed out and then something happens something that most of us
would react with it to you know it’s annoying but it wouldn’t throw us into utter chaos well James
on that precipice Jane’s already at a four maybe a four and a half depending on the day so when
this happened just that too puts her on a scale of one to five puts her at a
six-and-a-half which is in freefall but people may not understand that they may not understand
what’s going on in Jane’s life and they’re like this is not that big of a deal why are you just
overreacting which makes Jane feel guilty Phil is self-conscious and feels misunderstood so
then she feels isolated and rejected and we’ve talked about basic fears being rejection isolation
failure loss of control and the unknown well James kind of experiencing all of those right now and
the people around her instead of being validating and going okay you were already stressed out I
can see how this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back they’re going what is your
the problem so she doesn’t feel like she’s got social support she’s out there on an island unto
herself so we want to help Jane with emotional regulation because we know she’s up here and we
know she doesn’t like going into that freefall but how do we help her emotional regulation is the
ability to control or influence which emotions you have when you have them and how you experience or
express them and that’s a quote straight out of Linda hands book so emotion regulation prevents
unwanted emotions by reducing vulnerabilities so you can go through life you can go through
the day you can experience stress but instead of feeling overwhelmed or enraged you might feel
mildly irritated for a second and then choose to move on emotion regulation helps people learn how
to change painful emotions once they start so you don’t get stuck nurturing that emotion or feeding
into it and being angry with yourself because you got angry about something you have no control over
it teaches that emotions in and of themselves are not good or bad they just are it’s your brains
hardwired way of responding based on waiting for it the information that it has at this particular
point in time spiders if you’re afraid of spiders that is your brain’s way you see a spider and you
feel fear it’s your brain’s way of going threat spiders can be a poisonous big threat so you want
to get away from it that’s your body’s way your brain’s way of going let’s survive we want to do
this now you can figure out you can learn more about spiders so in the future when you encounter
then you realize that they’re not you know 99% of them are not threatening to humans but right now
at this moment your brain is saying warning getaway you probably want to do that so it teaches
that emotions internet themselves are just prompting us to do something they are survival
responses and suppressing them makes things worse telling yourself I shouldn’t feel afraid does that
do any good if your kid comes to you and tells you that you know I’m having a crappy day or I
hate this does it usually do any good to tell them well you shouldn’t feel that way feel better you
know just be happy does that work I’ve never had an experience where that worked now it may work
for some people but so we want to help people identify their emotions and not get consumed
by the emotions are effective when acting on the emotion is in your best interest so sometimes
it’s in your best interest expressing your emotion gets you closer to your ultimate goals sometimes
expressing your emotion gets you closer to your short-term goals like making the pain stop
and true pain is unpleasant however in the big scheme of things 15 minutes from now 3 hours
from now is that getting you closer to the goals that you want to achieve or was it just a
stopgap expressing your emotions will influence others in ways that will help you so if you want
to influence others in ways that are positive and will help you then emotions can be very kinder
that can be very helpful emotions are sending you an important message and we already talked about
that so I’m thinking the devil’s advocate amigos well I can think of a client that goes you rage
is a great emotion to express is it in my best interest yeah gets people to leave me the heck
alone does it get me closer to my ultimate goals yeah it reduces my stress by getting people to
leave me the heck alone will it influence others in ways that will help you, yeah it make them
go away and are these emotions sending you an important message yet rage is telling me that
these people like everybody are a threat to me so in the short term when you look at it that
way it can be tricky to see but we want to help people get outside of this immediate threat and
say where you want to be what happiness looks like to you or however you want to define
that ultimate goal and then once you get into distress tolerance was your Thursday talk about
how do you endure unpleasant emotions so you don’t take the stopgap route now on to our favorite
HPA axis the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis is our central stress response system and doesn’t
get too caught up and all the psychobiology of this I think it’s good to be cognizant of but
we’re not prescribing hypothalamus place in the brain release is a compound
called corticotropin-releasing factor or CRF which triggers the release of adrenocorticotropic
hormone from the pituitary gland which triggers the adrenal glands to release stress hormones
particularly cortisol and adrenaline now your adrenal glands are actually on your
kidneys and why is that important what I want you to see or understand is there are a lot of systems
involved there are a lot of hormones involved there’s a lot of stuff involved it’s not just box
you know you’re releasing a bunch of chemicals in your body that are altering the neurochemicals
and the other hormones to prepare you for spiders the adrenals control chemical reactions over large
parts of your body including the fight-or-flight response and produce even more hormones than
the pituitary gland so you’ve got these adrenals this is kind of your stress area if you will it
produces steroid hormones like cortisol which is a gluteal corticoid which means it makes your
body release glucose what we know is that glucose is blood sugar energy all right so it increases the
availability of glucose and fats for the long-term fight-or-flight reaction it also produces sex
hormones like DHEA and estrogen okay why is that important because we know that when estrogen
goes up serotonin availability goes up so if there are the adrenals are busy doing something
else it may cause other hormonal imbalances and it also produces stress hormones like adrenaline
that is going to ramp you up they’re going to increase your respiration increase your heart rate
all that kind of stuff so once you have that whole reaction we talked about and the perceived threat
passes cortisol levels return to normal great this is what happens in the ideal situation but what if
the threat never passes what if we’re working with a client who is constantly fearing rejection
and isolation they need external validation because they don’t feel good enough as they are
they don’t have social support because their emotional reactivity kind of pushes everybody
away so they’re constantly feeling this threat of rejection isolation failures loss of control
and the unknown they’re holding on just like you were holding on to the steering wheel after you
ran off the road and you got back on you know you kept chugging because you wanted to get to
your destination but you were scared witless okay so you’re chugging along what’s going
on what’s going on in that body the amygdala and the hippocampus are intertwined with the
stress response the amygdala modulates anger fear or fighter flight and the hippocampus helps
to develop and store memories when you’re under stress and think about a time when you are under
a lot of stress were you effective at learning and paying attention to the good things and the bad
things or were you just trying to make the pain stop and make the threat go away from the brain of the
child or adolescent is particularly vulnerable because of its high state of plasticity which is
why do we see people who tend to have personality disorders much of their trauma and stuff really
started early in their development and which is why it’s pervasive in every area or many areas
of their life, bad things are learned emotional upset prevent learning new positive things to
counterbalance it if you’re in a bad mood if you’re scared if you’re threatened you know if
you’re hungry homeless put whatever stuff is there are you paying attention to the
bluebirds that are flying around and singing pretty songs or are you paying attention
to the fact that you got an a on a test maybe not so, we need to understand this person who lives
in a chronically stressful environment may also have an overactive HPA axis so they’re already
they’ve already got some adrenaline and cortisol going on they live kind of in this state
of hyper-vigilance and then something happens and they’re just like through the roof kind of like
when you scare a cat what happens to the brain one is a chronic threat to its safety and a constant
the underlay of anxiety is constant undercurrent as it learns your brain forces synaptic connections
from experience and pruned away connections that aren’t utilized by people who feel a lack of control
over their environment are particularly vulnerable to excessive stimulation of the stress response
now it’s not just children abuse and neglected children pop right up there but abuse and
neglected adults think about a client you’ve worked with who’s been in an abusive relationship
for years does she have all the happy connections or is she pretty much terrified exhausted and
stressed out most of the time adults with anxiety or depressive disorders it doesn’t even
have to be an abusive or neglectful situation if you have someone that forever whatever reason has
clinical anxiety or depressive symptoms they are in this state of constant threat and constant of
people if you will so they’re not seeing they’re not able to learn and take in as much of the
good stuff so there’s more bad stuff coming in they’re paying attention to more of the bad stuff
or unpleasant stuff the synaptic connections that form the foundation of people’s schema of
themselves in the world become skewed towards the traumatic event at the expense of a synaptic
Network-based on positive experiences and healthy relationships so we had this client here and these
are her negative experiences she has a lot of them and she’s got these going through her head a lot
and it’s not they don’t just go away whenever she meets somebody and she’s like well they’re going
to leave me whenever something happened she feels isolated and alone she may fear so she’s got
really strong connections to those memories and past experiences and when you’re in the midst
of all this, there’s not a lot of happy stuff and even when she appears happy a lot of times she’s
faking it she’s not seeing and remembering all the happy stuff she just wants to avoid the pain
another example I could give you is thinking about a city planner now a city planner only has a
the certain budget just like we only have a certain amount of energy the city planner looks and says
what roads and what connections between cities get the most traffic and let’s devote our resources
and strengthen those connections because we know we’ve got all kinds of traffic going over there
and those roads that don’t travel those back roads we don’t need to pay much attention to
them right now because we need to make sure that those roads that are used the most are strong
but that’s the best analogy I can give without putting out strings and everything else but so
the hyper-vigilant state active IDEs activated by the stress response that disrupts our ability
to focus and learn you know we’re just trying to not die we’re trying to not be consumed by pain
it impairs the ability to form new memories and recall information due to the physiologic changes
in the hippocampus, it’s not time to learn and process and do all that kind of stuff have you
ever tried to study for a test when you had 16 other things going on that you are stressed about
how well did you remember this stuff over here sometimes people relate things to prior experience
well most of the time so maybe they’ve had a lot of dysfunctional relationships and they start to
get in a relationship which side is going to be triggered the negative memories are the positive
memories and then you have somebody who may be attached to some positive relationships they start to
get into a relationship and they remember some of the positives because there have been some really
good relationships but you know they may remember the negative too but most likely they’re going
to remember more strongly the positive so what’s their reaction going to be if we’re trying to help
our clients develop a healthy support system we need to help them address some of those highways
that are going towards the negative memories emotion regulation is transdiagnostic or useful
with many disorders it helps people increase their present focused emotion awareness it says right
now right here right now what are your feelings what are your physical sensations what are your
thoughts and what are your urges it helps people increase cognitive flexibility because it helps
the kind of step back and take a look and say okay what are my options let me step back from
being intertwined with this feeling and go okay I feel angry got it what are my options here what
do I usually do what I want to do when I’m on autopilot what are some other options I could
do that might help me move toward where I want to go identifying and preventing patterns of emotion
avoidance and emotion-driven behaviors we don’t want to get into the situation of constantly trying
to avoid unpleasant emotions by lashing out by hurting ourselves or by doing things reactively
when I feel this way I must smoke a cigarette I must cut myself I must fill in the blank we want
to help people find alternate ways and be able to step back and say that is an option is it the
option I want to choose today increasing awareness and tolerance of emotion-related physical
sensations sometimes these physical sensations are just so powerful and so overwhelming and
sometimes the rush of adrenaline and that foggy wibbly-wobbly feeling you get in your head when
you have just adrenaline coursing through your veins is so overwhelming that people don’t know
what to do with it and are afraid it won’t stop so let’s help them increase their awareness and
tolerance of this helped them understand that it passes and use emotion-focused exposure procedures
when they get upset help them think about things in the group sessions that get them a little bit
revved up you know we don’t want to precipitate a full-scale crisis or talk about something that
happened last week that got them upset and let’s apply these procedures emotional behavior is
functional to change the behavior it’s necessary to identify the functions and reinforcers of the
behavior so when they did it you know let’s talk about cutting because you know that is one of
those behaviors that we see are self-injury it’s what is the function of that behavior cutting
or self-injury is a way of inflicting physical pain where the person has control and they focus
on that and they feel a sense of mastery when the stuff going on in their head feels completely
uncontrollable and intolerable it diverts their attention and it also is something that they
they can control how much pain they’re in so that’s how it’s functioning now is the best
the response we want no but we can see why somebody might engage in that behavior and what reinforces that
behavior well when they do that not only do they get a reprieve from this emotional turmoil that
they don’t feel like they can touch or control or do anything with but their body also releases
endorphins release natural painkillers to kill that physical pain which makes them feel a little
a bit better so they’ve got kind of a double whammy on reinforcers there so we understand that
now we need to find something else that they can do and help them figure out how to tolerate
the turmoil emotions function to communicate to others and influence and control their behaviors
and serve as an alert or an alarm to motivate one’s behaviors so let’s talk about the first
one communicate to others so I’m communicating to a rat around me the people around me through my
emotions what’s going on if I’m angry I’m lashing out I’m going to influence people’s behavior and
they’re probably going to back off if I am sad or crying or scared that might bring them closer
and in a more supportive sort of thing you know again you’ve got to look at some of the behavior
self-injury can elicit a caretaking response but these emotions before somebody start
acting out the behaviors the emotions serve as a cue that okay Sally is getting ready to go in
free fall so they can start reacting sooner and it serves as an alert or an alarm to the person to
motivate their behaviors if they know you’re on the precipice if you know you’re right on the
edge of being vulnerable cranky being irritable that day can motivate your own
behaviors to figure out how to reduce some of your vulnerabilities and identify obstacles to
changing emotions now we can’t just say be happy and all of a sudden somebody’s like oh I
don’t know why I didn’t think of that I’m just going to go ahead and be happy that’s just not
how it works we want to look at organic factors do they have an organic long-standing chemical
imbalance of some sort and it may not be neurochemical it may be hormonal they may have too
much estrogen too much testosterone too little estrogen too little testosterone whatever let’s
figure out you know have them go see their doctor and figure out if there is something fibroids
or moans whatever that might be affecting their mood okay once we identify anything that we can
tweak there we can’t measure neurotransmitters we’re out of luck there because they’re found
in so many places in the body that there’s no way to isolate how much serotonin is actually
in the brain can’t do it yes we want to look at other factors that are biological imbalances
neurochemical imbalances that are caused by chronic stress that cause addiction to sleep
deprivation and nutritional problems so what sort of chemical imbalances are we precipitating
by keeping the stress going and keeping the adrenaline going keeping your body revved up
all the time we want to look at obstacles well let me stay with biological factors here real
quick the organic things if we can refer to the physician and we can figure out ways to address
those that give the person one step forward so they’re not feeling as depressed or they’re not
feeling as reactive people with hyperthyroid you know when their thyroid is overactive may have
some anxiety issues or some other mood issues that can be addressed with medication then we
Looking at situationally caused things is the ways we can help them reduce their chronic stress
sometimes there are some easy right-now sort of solutions other times but chronic stress comes
from issues that are so long-standing it’s going to take a while it’s not that we can’t do it but
it’s going to be a process so we move on and we say okay addiction we know that when people use
stimulants rev them up and then they crash and it makes them more than emotional yo-yo caused
by the substances or the addictive behaviors also makes them more vulnerable to emotional
reactivity sleep deprivation is all kinds of hormones out of whack and tends to make people more
irritable that’s one almost everybody can look at addressing right now and nutritional problems
if they’re not eating well not eating at all encourage them to see a nutritionist to
make sure they’re getting something balanced that they will adhere to not something that
they look at and go yeah that looks great but no way I’m eating nuts skill factors what can we help
they with we can identify cognitive responses that are obstacles which as I can’t do that
I won’t do that resistance in some way my response to that obstacle is set to look at it and weigh
the positives and the negatives do a decisional balance exercise to address the cognitive
responses and figure out why is the dysfunctional or unhelpful reaction more rewarding why is it
more rewarding to be angry or scared than to look at doing things and thinking of things that will
help you feel happier what’s the disconnect generally, it comes back to prior failures and fear of
failure because they’ve been down that road before and it’s such a letdown when they’re feeling
good for like three weeks and then they crash behavioral responses that are obstacles to
changing emotions if somebody lashes out when they get upset they lash out and throw things
and then they feel guilty so this behavioral response may lead to having more difficulty
changing emotions because we’ve got to help them figure out how to pause before the behavioral
the response so they don’t compound the situation with more negative emotions and environmental factors
people places and things being in environments where you’re surrounded by people who either agon
negativity or who bring out you know they’re there with you they’re talking about conspiracy theories
they’re just negative about everything or they’re critical of you or remind you of situations where
you’ve been criticized before so first, we want to help people identify and label emotions a lot
of our clients are relatively Alex Simon you know they have a small repertoire if any of
noting their emotions they just generally go from situation to reaction and label what they
felt is kind of a mystery so we want to help them and doing it retrospectively is fine at first
because that’s probably all you’re going to be able to get the event profiting the emotion what
were your thoughts your physical sensations and your urges help me describe this in enough detail
that if we were going to give it to an actor or an actress they could recreate the situation what
expressive behaviors were associated with that emotion you know did you cry did you throw
things did you hit the wall what were your interpretations of that event at the moment not
retrospectively but at the moment what were your interpretations of what was going on
what history before the event increases your vulnerability to emotional dysregulation lots
of big words what happened before that that already stressed you out or had you on edge
and you know we go through a whole bunch of different things and this is you know behavior
chaining we’re looking at kind of what led up to the event what made you more vulnerable and what
were you feeling at that time and then what were the after-effects of the emotion or the reaction
on your other types of functioning so after this event and you went into freefall and you got angry
and you lashed out and you screamed and you threw things how did that affect your work how did that
affect your relationships with your family how did that affect your mood and just generally your
sense of being in yourself for the rest of the day changing unwanted emotions okay so we started
labeling them we figure out what we’re feeling we figure out that yeah when we feel that way
we act in ways that you know make us feel worse afterward what do we do about it let’s change
All alright we already talked about the obstacles and we’re trying to address those but in a moment
check for facts ask yourself what are the facts for and against your belief if you believe that
someone did something to be antagonistic towards you okay what was their motivation what is the
facts for and against that also ask yourself is this emotional or factual reasoning am I making
a decision based on how I felt I felt attacked therefore I must have been being attacked or
facts you know I felt attacked yes but that was because this person said ABCDE and all of those
were very attacking and I felt like I needed to defend myself so those are to check the facts sort
of steps or you can go with problem-solving so let’s change the situation that’s called cause
any unpleasant emotion like I said with spiders at the moment you may not have enough information
to not feel scared but maybe your spouse loves hiking and camping and you want to go but
you’re afraid of those aren’t spiders so how can you change the situation so spiders don’t
trigger that same reaction increase knowledge increase exposure there are a lot of different
ways but problem-solving says ok what can I do so my reaction my correct reaction is not one of
threat or anger but it is one of at least mild acceptance prevent vulnerabilities which helps
reduce reactivity if you are a hundred percent you know you get up and you’re like this is going
to be a good day to day things that come your way are probably going to roll more like water off a
duck’s back then smack you upside the face like a mud pie so we want to prevent vulnerabilities from the turn
down the stress response because when you’re not when you’re not up here already then you know
you can fluctuate a little bit more and they help the person be aware of and able to learn and
remember positive experiences so if you turn down that vulnerability and somebody’s in a good place
or a better place than they were at least they’re going to be able to notice and we’re going to
want to encourage them to notice the positive experiences you know instead of thinking that all
people are threatening all people are going to hurt me all people are going to leave they might
notice that you know there’s Sally over here who’s worked here for 15 years with me and you know
she’s there she sometimes calls in sick but then she comes back she’s generally in a good mood
you know she’s not such a bad person and you start noticing some of the things that are
not self-fulfilling processes building mastery through activities that build self-efficacy
self-control and competence smuggle we don’t want to say you don’t want to set a goal
where somebody needs to go an entire week without having an emotionally reactive response let’s
say go for hours or maybe even a whole day that would be wonderful but first, we’ve got to talk
about how to reduce those vulnerabilities so we set the person up for success what things can you
do and well and we’re going to get down here in a minute what can you do if you wake up and you’re
feeling vulnerable you know the creepy crowds are going around they cancel school
for the entire week for school the county school system kids are off for an entire week
because of illness right now but you wake up in the morning and you’ve got a fever and a sore
the throat you’re like I don’t want to go to work and get out of bed today what can you do
to prevent being grumpy and overly reactive throughout the day’s mental rehearsal and this can
go for if you’re getting ready to do something scary or threatening seeing yourself do that and
do it successfully and this can even be during the day just envisioning yourself getting up and eating
your breakfast driving to work going through your day seeing that one person at the office that
always has some sort of snarky comment to say or whatever irritates you laughing at it or dealing
with it just fine going through everything in your day as you would like to see it happen envision it
see see what you can do rehearse it rehearse how to handle negativity you know if you know you’re
going to have to go in for your annual evaluation with your boss okay so mentally rehearse how it’s
going to go how are you going to react what’s going to happen so you’re prepared for it you have
your responses and it takes some of the unknown out of the situation physical body mind care pain
and illness treatment and the acronym for this is please I changed one of them to laughter
it used to be physical illness and that was both PNL but I like laughter anyway we’ll get there
when you’re in pain or when you’re sick you’re vulnerable to being a little bit cranky you know
that’s just because your body is already saying you are weak you know back in the day when you had to
defend yourself against predators the sick ones and the ones that were in pain were the ones
that usually got taken out first as a part of our brain that still remembers that for whatever
the reason so when we’re in pain or when we’re sick our body keeps that cortisol keeps our cortisol
levels higher and the stress response a little bit higher so we want to deal with those things but
know if we wake up and we’re in that situation moment that was a little bit more vulnerable
so we need to handle it with care and laughter you can’t be miserable and happy at the same time laughter
releases endorphins laughter helps people feel a little bit better and find something to laugh at
and have on my phone I keep comedy skits every once in a while I’ll just pop one in even if
I’m not having a bad day pop it in because I like to laugh eat two-sport mental and physical
health avoid addictive or mood-altering drugs or behaviors that are going to put you on that
the up-and-down roller coaster that goes up and it goes even further down than you were when you
started to get adequate quality sleep and exercise also helps increase serotonin and release
endorphins which help people be in a better mood mindfulness is a judgemental observation and
description of the current emotions we’re not going to go deep into this right now
another class on mindfulness and you can also google it remembering that primary emotions
are often adaptive and appropriate I know I said that like six times much emotional distress
is a result of your secondary responses shame over having it I shouldn’t feel this way anxiety
about being wrong you know maybe this is the wrong way to respond or you know what if
I’m wrong about this or rage doing due to feeling judged for feeling that way I feel this way
and you’re telling me I shouldn’t how dare you so mindfulness is kind of an exposure technique
because it helps people identify that yes I feel that way but it helps them learn to step back and
figure out how to not judge that and just go okay I feel that way better or worse whatever that’s how I
feel exposure to intense emotions without negative consequences that non-judgmental acceptance just
going all right is what extinguishes the secondary emotional responses of feeling guilty
about it or feeling ashamed or angry at yourself for being angry so think of it this way if you
can’t see this one’s the best Bruce Lee picture I could come up with scenario one is an unpleasant
experience the person has an unpleasant emotion and then feels guilt shame or anger for feeling that
an emotion so instead of having to deal with one emotion one-on-one now you’re having to fight for
different unpleasant emotions and you start acting to try to stop the avalanche of negativity in the
absence of adequate skills now Bruce Lee he was able to take out four or five at a time but most
of us you know we would be beaten because all of these adversaries would be coming at us and
we would be building on them in scenario two and this is where we want people to get they have an
unpleasant experience which is part of life they identify unpleasant emotions again part of
life is sucky but part but they can deal with one emotion they’re like okay I’m
angry what do I do about it instead of I’m angry what do I do about it and I’m guilty and you
see how you know she’s got this she can take that one emotion so what we’re helping people do is
uncomplicated this regulation is common to many disorders people with dysregulated emotions
have a stronger and longer-lasting response to stimuli yes they’re already kind of stressed
out they’re already hyper-vigilant if you want to say they’re already wound up a little bit and
then something happens and it amps for months now we have a scale of 1 to 5 if they’re already on
a 4 and it amps them up 2 points they’ve fallen off the scale they’re in freefall so we need to
understand that what we perceive as an excessive emotional reaction they may not have been starting
from the same place that we were, we’re starting from a 1 if they’re starting from a 4 you know
then their reaction to the same thing you seemed pretty reasonable emotional dysregulation is often
punished or invalidated and increases hopelessness and isolation emotional regulation means we help
people use mindfulness to be aware of and reduce their vulnerabilities so we help them take it so
they’re not at a 4 there may be a 2 you know they’re in therapy for a reason we’re going to
help them work on the other stuff and get them down to a 1 but right now let’s help them figure
out ways, they can take down their stress response take down their just underlying anxiety, and stuff
identify the function and reinforcers for current emotions when they happen was understand where
they came from because they’re functional do that chaining worksheet check for facts ok now that
I know how I feel I know what my reactions are I know what my thoughts are I know what my urges
are let’s check the facts in the situation for and against that forces people to kind of step
back which lets the urge sail out some and then problem-solves what can I do right now to improve
the situation and what can I do in the future so I don’t necessarily experience this exact
the same situation again how can I break that mold okay so emotion regulation doesn’t provide us
with a whole lot of distress tolerance skills, emotion regulation is really about preventing
vulnerabilities and helping people figure out okay here’s where I’m at how do I pause so then
I can choose from my disgust distress tolerance problem-solving or interpersonal effectiveness
skills but it’s a big step how awesome would it be if you could eliminate some of your
vulnerabilities and think about it just for a minute or two what vulnerabilities you’ve
got going on in you right now and how many of those you know could you potentially over
the next week or two kinds of address sleeping and eating maybe you have 16 things going on
and you could pare it down to eight there are a lot of different things that you might
be able to kind of pull out of the rabbit hat if you will and what kind of a difference
would it make if you’re talking to your staff and looked around at your organizational environment
what vulnerabilities are there environmental vulnerabilities physical vulnerabilities my best
friend’s working somewhere right now where pretty much everybody is required to work doubles because
they are so short-staffed they’re going to start getting vulnerable pretty soon so look around
what can you do to moderate that so they can model effective emotional regulation but they
can also not be emotionally dysregulated by a client who has emotional dysregulation issues all
right so that concludes our discussion today if you have any questions I would love to hear them
if you want to discuss that’s awesome if you want to get on to your next client you know I totally
understand that I want to wish everybody a happy Valentine’s Day for me I don’t particularly pay
a lot of attention to Valentine’s Day but it is the eve before half-price chocolates
and that is my kind of my kind a day you you you you if you enjoyed this podcast please like and
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This episode was pre-recorded as part of a live continuing education webinar on demand. Ceus are still available for this presentation through all CEUs registered at all, CEUs comm slash counselor toolbox. I’d like to welcome everybody to group therapy, which is a product of treatment improvement. Protocol 41. Today we’re going to be going over chapters 1 and 2 tips 41. They did make it into an in-service, which is what I loosely based. The next set of presentations on and we’re, going to talk about some of the different ways you can use group and make it beneficial and hopefully easier than some other ways of approaching treatment. So, in the first part of today’s presentation, the goal is to provide an overview of group therapy which is used in substance, abuse, and mental health treatment, and, as I said, I’m, loosely basing it on it, but a lot of times the groups That we’re doing in substance abuse are the same ones. We’re doing in mental health. We’re going to discuss the uses of group therapy in treatment, define five therapy models, explain the advantages of group therapy and modify group therapy to treat and address substance abuse issues. So group therapy is awesome because it supports members in times of pain and trouble. It’s something that we can make available to the community mental health center that I worked at before and if you’ve worked in community mental health or even private mental health. Maybe a lot of times. There are waiting lists to get into IOP to get into PHP to get into residential to get into detox. So one of the things that we started instituting was an intervention-level psycho-educational group, so we were able to sort of keep a tab on people who are on our waiting list. They got on the waiting list and they started coming to these groups that provided them with tools provided them skills. We weren’t treating any particular issue. We were focusing more on life skills, distress, tolerance, emotion, regulation, and all that other DPP kind of stuff. Helping them get through, was also enabling us to provide them with some hope and keep their motivation going. Group therapy can enrich members with insight and guidance. I found, and one of the reasons I love doing group so much is because you can ask a question to a group of 10 people and get 8 or 10 different answers to it, and the cool thing about that is that each person has their blind spots, so what they might not have thought about before might still be germane to them, and somebody else puts it out there. So when you start putting asking questions and putting the answers on the board or using the flip chart papers and having stations around the room that people go and contribute to the group process, you start getting a lot more feedback from individuals and they’re going To come up with ideas and suggestions and thoughts that not only each other had never had so they’re going to enrich each other’s lives, but they teach me something every single time. So I loved doing and still do love doing group and it’s. A natural ally with addiction, treatment or treatment in general group therapy enables us to provide a basic framework of information to people in a cost, effective manner. You know there are a lot of things like emotion, regulation, distress, tolerance, self, esteem, skills, effective interpersonal communication relationship skills, and self-esteem. I may have already said that we give to all of our clients whether it’s substance, abuse or mental health, and everybody who’s coming through the program. Has this curriculum? If you will go through now, it’s going to apply a little bit differently to each one and they’re going to take the stuff they get from those groups and they’re going to be able to take it back to their Therapists and say this is what I learned in group. If it is just a group process, then they’re going to be able to talk among each other and come up with their ideas, but IOP, PHP, and residential all have individual accounts. One component, if you’re doing an intervention level group 0 05 on the ACM. If you will, you may not have that individual therapy component. So you want to make sure that when you provide members with information – and you help them start gaining insight you tie it up in a nice little bow at the end and help them apply it. So what did you get out of today?’s group that could have been helpful last week and how could you have used it then go back around the room and say from whatever you got from today:’s group or what’s a morsel you got from today,’s, group that You’re going to use next week, and how do you expect to do that? So I encourage them to take one or two morsels and figure out how they can use that in their particular life. A little bit of a slide track here. In support groups, if somebody is going to celebrate recovery or 12 step group, or even a depression or anxiety management group, I encourage them when they walk out of the group to be able to answer the question. What was in that group for me? What can I take away from that now? It may be, I know what I don’t want to do, or it may be. That was a great idea that so and so had, but I want them to answer that question every time, not just walk out of a group and go well. That was a good group. Why? Why was it a good group? What did you get out of it? Group therapy, as opposed to self-help groups and support groups, if you will have trained leaders, so you do have a lot more ability to facilitate what’s going on and kind of point people in directions that you want them to go. Where support groups may have facilitators, but they don’t have the training that clinicians do and group therapy produces healing and recovery from substance abuse and mental health issues. You see a lot of people gain. Hope you see a lot of people gain optimism. You see a lot of people learn tools from one another and nobody can comic con. If you will – and I had to figure out a way to say that a little bit nicer than the way I usually do. But when people are in recovery and you can even think about it with your teenagers, if you’ve been around known more if you have them, teenagers hear what their parents say and they’re like yeah, okay, whatever old, fuddy-duddy, but when their Parents or when their peers say it, it carries a lot more weight, so sometimes the hope and faith and tools and stuff that they hear from their cohort has more impact than what we say. If we’ve created a good supportive, healthy, nurturing environment, group therapy has a lot of power to it because it’s basically like having a bunch of code therapists and the ability to control it a little bit more than in group therapy. You can address factors associated with addiction or these factors by themselves, such as depression, anxiety, anger, shame, temporary cognitive impairment, character, pathology, ie, personality disorders, medication management, and pain management. So let’s go through these a little bit. Depression groups are wonderful. Now we’re going to talk about different types of groups and there’s everything from the traditional therapy group where people are sitting in a circle and or however, usually in a circle and sharing what’s going on in their particular situation. To psycho-educational and skills groups, where we’re, providing them the tools to understand what’s going on and the tools to deal with what they’re experiencing, and you know with depression. One of the groups I’m, going to do is depression. Well, any of these is to talk about what is it. What causes it? Where did it come from? How is it impacting you to have people start figuring out what that means to them, then we’re going to start talking, probably in the next group, about what are some ways we can start addressing this and what has worked for you. What what has worked in the past and what things might you want to do? Try? Temporary cognitive impairment can be addressed in the group in the sense that we can provide some life skills coaching. We can provide for early recovery and substance abuse. For example, a lot of people come to our groups, or at least where I used to work. They would get out of detox and they weren’t fully detoxed. Yet they had two days under them and the drug was out of their system. For the most part, you know, except for like marijuana or benzos, but they were still not on their game so getting them to just get there on time, be prepared, pay attention, and process what’s going on was huge. We didn’t expect to make huge therapeutic gains, but what I wanted was somebody to be able to dress up and show up. If you will character, pathology can be addressed in groups, one of the basic reasons that Marsha Linehan created dialectically. Behavior therapy was to address borderline personality disorder and DBT is very strong in skills groups. Now it has individual components and coaching components as well, but she uses the skills groups to help people with character, pathologies, and borderline personality disorder, among other things, start learning about what are these symptoms. What do they mean? What does it look like and how can I deal with them and then they personalize it in their sessions? Medication management is huge for me, whether it’s, somebody who’s on antidepressants or somebody who’s on methadone. I don’t care, but I think it’s really important for people when they start taking medication, especially psychotropic medication, whether it’s, addiction or mental depression, or anxiety to be able to go into a group and talk with others who’ve Been on similar medications understand the side effects understand that gets better understand what they’ve done, that helped them deal with the side effects. For example, a lot of my clients used to be on Seroquel and Seroquel is extremely sedating, so a lot of them found that they needed to take it at night. But I had a small group of people who, when they took it at night, you know they would go to sleep at like 11, 00 get up at 6 30 and they were still groggy. As I’ll get out from the Seroquel and among themselves, they started talking about okay, so I need to take it at 7, 00 every night for it to be out of my system. So I can function the next morning they worked it out by talking about how long before it starts sedating you and how long the sedating effects last, but it helped clients stay more compliant with their medication because a lot of times and not knock Psychiatrists or doctors, but the ones that I’ve had experience with. For the most part, I’ve had a couple of awesome: attendings they don’t have the patients they don’t have time in their schedule to hear all of the issues and help the client brainstorm, and a lot of times they don’t think to share with the patient. These are the most common side effects that people tell me they experience. Yes, they get the handout from the pharmacist. There are like six pages, long and in eight-point font of all the potential side effects. But what do people feel like when they start taking it? This Zoloft is another one. You know that’s, what one is commonly prescribed and a lot of patients feel kind of like they’ve got the flu. They feel dizzy for the first two-to-three days and then that wears off, if they understand that, if they have a place where they can go and talk about the side effects and talk about how to deal with some of the side effects, it helps. And this is also a place where they can talk about things like weight, gain and fatigue, and lethargy. And how do you deal with this when you’re on this Giller medication, it doesn’t have to be facilitated by a nurse or a doctor. That’s more helpful if it’s facilitated by a clinician. What we want to do is encourage patients to become aware of what their potential obstacles are to be maintained to remain med, compliant, and identify some ways to address them. Some intervention that might be effective and then go talk to their doctor, so they are armed with knowledge when they go see their psychiatrist and say I’m having these problems, it also gives them a chance to talk to other people and understand what it looks like if the medication is working for them and gives them hope if they have to change two three four times to find the right medication, so medication management obviously, is a group that I think is important. If you’ve got clients that are medicated on pain, management,’s, pain can cause depression and anxiety. Your body perceives pain as a stressor, so anybody who has pain may experience negative affect, especially if it goes on for a while, so helping them figure out ways to deal with the pain and ways to deal with breakthrough pain. If you’re dealing with somebody who’s in recovery, then you’re also dealing with the issue of pain management without narcotics, so pain management groups can help teach stress management skills, progressive muscular relaxation, and sharing nonpharmacological interventions that they can discuss with their doctor, such as massage physical therapy, acupuncture yay, it also is a place that people get hope again. This is going to keep coming up with group therapy hope because they hear other people’s stories and yeah. I hear that after John’s accident, he was in agony for six months and he was able to get through it, so they can share and support one another. Another group provides positive peer support for abstinence from substances or addictive behaviors. Remember we want to check our clients, and assess our clients to make sure they’re, not engaging in addictive behaviors like internet gaming, pornography, gambling, food-ish food, and eating addiction. Anything like that, but it also provides positive peer support for positive action in any direction. So if it’s growth goals, if it’s depression goals, the group is there to cheer you on. They’re also there to notice when you’re starting to lose your motivation and point it out and help you increase that motivation groups reduce isolation. So if you’re dealing with someone who’s got empty nest syndrome, someone who’s got depression, someone who’s got it up an addiction. It helps them understand that they’re, not the only one dealing with that and they can share and support, enabling the members to witness the recovery or transformation of their fellow group members and see how other people deal with similar problems, because we all I mean There’s what twelve people in class today. So if I throw out any problem, I’m probably going to get at least eight or nine different suggestions for how to deal with it and that’s cool, but that’s. The awesome part about group two because they can share. What do you do when you can’t get to sleep at night? What do you do when the anxiety is so oppressive that you feel like you can’t breathe, rich, and provide information to clients who are new to the recovery process? So they know what to expect they’re not going to be giddy as all get out. Twenty-four hours, seven days a week, 365 days a year, probably ever that’s not reality, but it helps them learn what the recovery trajectory looks like helps. They accept the fact that they’re going to be bad days and it helps them see how they can be empowered in the process. It provides feedback on group members, values, and abilities. They’re going to hone in on their values, and you know I encourage them in my groups and obviously from a multicultural perspective. I think it’s vital that we encourage members to explore their values and accept or reject them as they are and do not meet them. For me to say whether your values are right or wrong, I want you to know what your values are and make sure that they’re. Yours, not something that came from the media or something that just kind of popped into your head. You don’t know where it came from that you, don’t agree with, and sometimes that will come up, especially as it pertains to medication, use or controlled drinking, or anything like that. But it also provides feedback on their abilities, and this is where I focus more than values. What is it that you have done already? What are your strengths if you went three hours yesterday without being depressed and crying that is awesome? What did you do? How did you do it? How are you able to do that, I want to highlight that ability, so we can build on it. We want to highlight the exceptions to the problems and offer the sort of family-like experience where people get a sense of belonging and support when groups are run well, even if their skills are psycho-educational groups when a group member leaves drops out relapses, whatever happens, They just if they suddenly leave. It affects the entire group. When you’ve got a well-run group and a group member graduates or completes treatment, there’s still a whole process and sort of a grieving process, as that person leaves the family and launches out of the nest. Whatever you want to say, we the way I’ve always run groups and what the way I was taught was. We always celebrate that at the end of somebody,’s treatment, or experience after the last group that that person attends we have a little bit of a little pizza party or something to celebrate. Let people say their goodbyes and have a good sense of closure. A lot of our clients did not have good family experiences, so we want them to have the experience of being supported, being able to have different opinions and disagree with others, but being respected and being able to care about groups encouraged coach support and reinforce What they’re doing? Well, we don’t have to focus on what they’re doing wrong. You know, we can talk about that. An individual – or you know it may become germane to the group, but what we want to do is reinforce what they’re doing. Right from a management perspective groups allows a single treatment professional to help several clients. At the same time, as I said, there are a core set of groups – educational modules, if you will that, I think all clients need to be exposed to so group is a great way to do it instead of saying the same thing six times a day to Each one of your clients having a group available with the advent of media and Internet, just like we’re doing right now. Web chat web groups. You can do some skills-based groups, you know if they’re, not treatment. You don’t have as many issues with confidentiality, but you can also have videos online that you have them watch, learn from complete a worksheet and then come and participate in a one-hour group, instead of maybe having to sit through the whole lesson, which is An hour or so and then participate in the group, so there are a lot of different things that you can do using group techniques to reach a bunch of people in with one treatment provider. In the same hour. Groups add needed structure and discipline because, generally the group leader has a certain goal for the group or has a certain style of managing the group, so it can help sort of add a rhythm. If you will to the group process. Now we’re talking about traditional therapy groups. You’re going to be sort of like the parent that controls the rhythm of the family. If you’re talking skills or psycho, read groups, you’re going to be setting more of a tone like a teacher and creating a learning experience, but it adds structure, so people feel safe. They know what they can share, what they’re. What’s too much sharing or what’s inappropriate sharing and it helps people also learn to bite their tongue, wait their turn all those other things that can be helpful in life. They instill hope in a sense that, if that person can make it so can I so they see people doing a little bit better yeah. They also see some people doing a little bit worse, sometimes, but that’s an opportunity for them to be able to reach out and provide support, and that helps the person providing support as much as it helps the person receiving it. I truly believe that most people get a sense of contentment if you will, by being able and being able to reach out and help someone that they are concerned about, it provides support and encouragement to one another outside the group setting now this gets a little dicey Depending on your groups and your agency philosophy in reality, in substance abuse groups, the people that are in your group are probably going to be going to the same support group meetings so telling them not to ever contact each other outside of the group is unrealistic. They’re going to see each other in the community, so it’s important to help them understand how to set boundaries and what’s? Okay, behavior, and what’s? Not okay, behavior between group members, other groups, other facilities are less stringent on that and encourage the clients to reach out to one another outside of the group setting. So, depending on the group, the issue, your agency, all that kind of stuff there’s going to be more or less sharing. What I want to see, especially, is, if you have, for example, in IOPS three hours here and have three groups with breaks. I want to see people talking outside a group. I want to see people sharing, not just all sitting in there going when do we get out of here? I want them to develop relationships and learn how to effectively communicate so group therapy is not individual therapy done with an audience. It is not a mutual support group. It’s designed to help people develop and practice knowledge and skills in a microcosm. You’re, creating a mini family or a mini-community. It aids patients in learning how to develop healthy, supportive relationships and also how to terminate relationships, because sometimes when people graduate they move on it, which doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re going to continue to interact with the clients in the group. Alright. So the second half of this class, we’re, going to look at the group therapy models used in treatment, explain the stages of change, and discuss three specialized group therapy modules that may be used for the stages of change. I’ve gone over this before for new people. I’ll go over it again, real quick think about getting into a pool in the summer. It’s hot it’s like 90 degrees. You are sweating bullets, pre-contemplation, and you’re still laying on the lawn chair going. I ain’t hot. Yet no, I’m not anywhere near hot enough to go near that pool contemplation you’re starting to get hot and sweaty, and you’re looking at the pool going. You know that might be a nice change in preparation. You move to the side of the pool and you’re dangling your feet in the water trying to figure out. If you’re ready to take the plunge because it’s cold, I mean compared to the 90 92 5 degrees C is outside and you know your 98 6 body temperature water is cold, so you’re preparing action is when you jump in you. ‘re, like I, can’t take it anymore. I’m too hot to jump in the pool. Now, if that pool is too cold, if it’s too painful to stay in there because you’re just like a ho ho, you may jump back out again and back into preparation or further back. If you get in there and get moving – and you know, get your body temperature back up that’s – sort of basically like treatment – and you’re getting the swing of things, then you just want to maintain. So you don’t get cold again and recurrence is when you get out you get hot again and go through this process again so pre-contemplation, I ain’t got a problem. Contemplation yeah, I’m a little uncomfortable, but I’m not ready to do anything yet preparation. I’m starting to get ready to make a change because this is uncomfortable, but I’m not very it action I’m on it, and maintenance is keeping your gains and maintaining a steady state, so variable factors for groups, the group leader group or Leader of focus, so if you’re focusing on a part of it, is your training. You know if you are more Rogerian client-centered in your training versus cognitive, behavioral versus DBT versus AC T, whatever your theoretical underpinnings are and what you choose to focus on. In that particular group, there’s a lot of stuff. We can focus on whether it’s cognitive, physical, or emotional. We want to another thing that affects it is the specificity of the group agenda. If you’re going to have a group and it’s on self-esteem, well that’s not specific, so we could go sixteen different ways till Sunday if you’re looking at self-esteem and disarming the internal critic. Now that’s much more specific for that group, so that’s going to affect what that group looks like for that session or that says sessions how similar or different your group members are. If they have a lot of different experiences, you’re going to have a different experience as a group leader. Then, if you have a lot of people who have the same experiences, open, ended or determinant duration of treatment, if you’ve got a group that somebody can join and if they want to stay for 104 weeks, they can stay for 104 weeks. That’s up to them versus a group that is 16 weeks long that’s also going to affect how your group goes. What do you cover, how connected do group members become? I use 104 weeks just to sort of overemphasize. I hope nobody stays in the group for 104 weeks, but the level of leader activity is. I have seen groups where its leaders will throw out a discussion and are like okay topic for today is what do you think about it, and let the group facilitator with a little bit of nudging here and there versus other groups where the leader is very involved In goes around goes okay, Sam.What do you think about this sally? What do you think about it and that affect how people react and what they expect it? Doesn’t necessarily affect what they get out of it, but these are variables that could affect how someone meshes with the group. Not everybody is going to like a real open, ended, a loosey-goosey group I don’t. You know I’m structured. So I prefer to be in groups where I know what the agenda is, and what we’re going to do. In my groups, start with a review from the last group that’s the first five minutes, and check in with everybody. Next, in five minutes we do a 15 to 20-minute psycho, ed piece, and then the last. You know 30 minutes of group. I spend going around the room and having people tell me, what is it that you got out of this? What do you think you could use this next week etc and apply it to what they know that’s how my groups go, so they’re, really very structured. You’ve got to be able to drop back and punt. If a client is in crisis or something strikes a nerve with them, you know you might have to change up a little bit. But overall you’re sort of setting the tone for what’s going to happen in the group, the duration of treatment, and the length of each session. You’re going to cover a lot more in a 3 hour of IOP session. That and treatment is five days. A week for 12 weeks, then you’re going to cover in a treatment program that’s one hour a week for eight weeks, just knowing what you’re going to try to cover will affect the depth or the breadth of what you go through. The arrangement of the room also affects how the people interact. If you have them set up in theatre, style, or classroom style. People interact differently than if they’re all sitting around in a circle, and if you ever want to experiment with that, it is interesting to notice how much differently people interact and how much more they seem to participate when they’re sitting sort of in A circle versus when they’re in theater style and I feel like they can hide and the characteristics of the individuals. Sometimes you’re, going to have people who are enthusiastic and chatting. Sometimes you’re going to have people who are not, and it could be for a whole host of reasons. It could be a bad fit, it could be their involuntary, or it could be they just got out of detox. It could be that they’re. All are just at that level of clinical depression that they’re having a hard time staying with the group and it’s up to us to adjust to try to meet the needs of as many people in a group as possible. Now, while I’m saying this, they didn’t say to size of the group. Here, the recommended size of the group is 8 to 12 people. If you’re dealing with adolescents or people with severe and assistant Mental Illness, it’s more along the lines of 812. For your average group 15 for psycho-educational and skills groups any more than 15. You’re doing a class and not a group. Psycho-egg groups assist individuals in every stage of change, pre-contemplation contemplation, yay. It helps clients, learn about their disorders, their treatment or intervention options, and other resources that might be available to them, such as assistance with prescriptions or physical therapy, or whatever other wraparound services. We often call it might be available. They can also be used to provide family members with an understanding of the person in recovery, so family egg groups can be awesome because then you get to understand and hear what the family thinks is going on and expects is going to happen in treatment and What they’re seeing and hearing, and you can normalize for them what’s going on with the client, so somebody recovering from clinical depression or somebody with bipolar disorder. You know this is what recovery looks like this is what living with the disorder looks like. This is what being on this medication looks like, I, ‘ve had a lot of patients because I deal with mainly co-occurring. I’ve had a lot of patients who have bipolar disorder, and you know some sort of substance abuse issue. They start taking. Seroquel, because that seemed to be the drug of choice for our prescribing at that particular time and they would start acting all groggy and family would freak out going you’re using again, and so Family Education groups were a great time for us to educate. Not only about the disorder but also about treatment, medication, side effects, and how to interact with the loved one to be as most supportive as possible. So ad groups educate about a disorder or teach a skill or tool and work to engage the clients in the discussion. I don’t want to stand up there in the lecture. I want them to be able to throw out ideas. So if I say you know what is it that you do when you’re struggling with somebody, because they just great on your every last nerve, what are some things you do to solve that problem or to deal with it? I don’t want to just tell them everything I want to do something more Socratic and encourage them to tell me how they work with it, and if they come up with something that’s, not quite on point. As far as being the most effective or healthiest approach, then we’ll talk about it and we’ll say well. I’m sure that’s worked for you. I’m wondering you know if there’s a kinder gentler way to do it, or you know you kind of massage it a little bit to morph it into something useful. We want to prompt clients to relate what they learn to their issues, including their disorders. You know how you, how this relates to your depression, but also your goals, your challenges, and your successes? Psycho-ed groups are highly structured and follow a manual or curriculum, and it doesn’t have to be a manualized curriculum that you buy from somewhere. You can create your curriculum, but you teach the same thing and it’s sequential and it follows a teach, apply practice method. So you teach a skill, you have them talk about how they would apply it, how that might apply to them, and then you have them practice it in role plays or imagine how they might use it. Next week, basic teaching skills are required for psycho-ed groups, though, which requires that you understand the basic components of learning, and I call these the three C’s capture, which is how you get the knowledge I mean you got to get it into your brain. Somehow I am a visual kinesthetic learner. I learned virtually nothing from sitting in lecture classes. I’m off in la la land in about 30 seconds. I know this about myself, so I need to have material that I and see, which is why I do powerpoints here some of y’all may not might not even be looking at the screen. You may be often doing something else and listening to me more power to you. However, you get the information in your brain is great. Global and sequential. Some people are global. They need the big picture when they’re doing a puzzle. They want to see the box first to do the frame and then fit all the pieces in sequential people. Don’t want the box that’s cheating they look for pieces and put them together and then try to figure out how all the pieces go together to make a hole and then their wall out as a whole. To appeal to both of those at the beginning of the group give an overview of what you’re going to cover in the group, and if you can sort of a written agenda it’s, not always practical. I always tried to put it up on the whiteboard. We always had issues with how many copies we were allowed to make and stuff. So in the interest of saving trees, try to give them some sort of an agenda, so they know what the progress is or what they can expect from group talk about it, so people can hear it and apply it through role plays having them apply it to themselves. Make them manipulate that information in their mind and provide visual representations like bullet points of what you’re going over. If you can’t, if copies again are an issue, have them bring a notebook and write on a whiteboard, so they can see it. So you’re presenting information in as many ways as possible. Conceptualization is relating the information to building blocks. So if you’re teaching a unit on cognitive distortions, then you’re going to talk about maybe using extreme words or nothing talk. So I might say tell me about a time that you’ve said something like you always do this and then what we’re going to talk about, how to change that and how you know. Thinking about things that way might be contributing to some of their distress and then caring. This is the biggest one which is again why I have clients when they leave a group, ask themselves: what could I get out of that? Why was that important to me if they’re not motivated to remember it, they’re not going to think back to high school biology or college humanities archaeology? 101. For me, I learned what I needed to learn for as long as I need to learn. It’s to pass the test, and then I forgot it all because I didn’t care about it, so we want them to care or they’re not going to remember so get it in their heads and help them relate it to something they know and make Them care about it, make them figure out why it’s important to them, foster an environment, to support participation, encourage participants to take responsibility for their learning, use a variety of learning methods that require sensory experiences, which means talking about it. You know talking about it listening to it and maybe drawing art therapy try to incorporate as many senses as possible. I always find that role plays are a big hit. You can also break up concepts and have to break up your group into smaller groups and have each of the smaller groups reteach a concept to make sure that they understand it and be mindful of cognitive impairments. So if you’ve got someone who is impaired in some way, make sure that you have some sort of method to ensure that that person is keeping up with the rest of the group. If it’s a diverse group skills development cultivates the necessary skills to prevent a relapse, depression, anxiety, and addiction and achieve an acceptable quality of life. Part of the skills groups assumes that the clients lack needed skills such as coping skills, interpersonal skills, and communication skills, hence the term skills group. So we want to allow clients to practice skills in groups. Psycho-ed groups provide the knowledge and, if you remember basic treatment, planning, and knowledge skills and abilities, so you know it, you learn how to use the skill and then the ability is a put those skills into practice. So we want them to be able to practice. These skills in a safe microcosm, you want to focus on skills, directly related to recovery and those to thrive in general. Think about Maslow’s hierarchy. They need to get those biological needs met, they need food, shelter, medication, pain management, health, safety and safety from themselves and love and belonging. So we want to help them make sure they’re getting those not just focusing specifically on depression or anxiety skills development groups have a limited number of sessions and a limited number of participants. So everybody can practice. We don’t want a big auditorium. We want that 8 to 15 number ideally, and there used to strengthen behavioral and cognitive resources. Skills groups focus on developing an information base on which decisions can be made and actions can be taken. So when they’re thinking when they practice the pause and they’re trying to decide okay, what is the best reaction to this current situation that’s when skills kick in and they’ve got a menu of skills to choose from cognitive, behavioral Groups, conceptualize dependence on substances as a learned, behavior that subjects to modifications through various interventions, which is a bunch of garbage garbled a for CBT groups, really look at using as a triggered behavior in response to pain. You want the pain to go away and your drug of choice does that. The same is true for self-injury or a variety of other symptoms that we see in our patients. So we want to look at what’s triggering those and how can we. What are they trying to meet? What need are they trying to meet with that behavior and how can we help them meet that? Otherwise, sorry, my nose is itchy today, work to change, my learned, behavior by changing my thinking, patterns, beliefs, and perceptions and include psychological elements like thoughts, beliefs, decisions, opinions, and assumptions. Cbt groups develop social networks that support abstinence, so the person with dependence becomes aware of behaviors that may lead to relapse and develop strategies to continue in recovery. Now that’s for addictions, groups for anxiety and depression, the same is true. We want them to have social networks with other people who experience the same diagnosis. If you will so, they can become aware of relapse. Warning signs when are starting to become impatient. They’re not sleeping as much, whatever their relapse warning signs are for their condition, disorder, whatever you want to call it, so they can develop. Strategies to stay, happy and healthy educational devices are used in CBT groups including worksheets role plays, and videos that encompass a variety of proof, and approaches that focus on changing the way we think and the behavior that flows from it. I cannot stand feeling this way can be changed too. I don’t like feeling this way, but I know it will change. In the next moment. Cbt techniques teach group members about self-destructive, behavior and thinking that lead to maladaptive behavior. We look at those unhelpful, cognitions and their effects of them. How does that impact you in your relationships? The way you perceive the world and your general sense of empowerment and happiness? They focus on problem-solving and short and long-term goal-setting which a lot of people don’t know how to do. Imagine how much better people and more empowered people feel when they figure out hey. I know how to do that. I know how to see a problem, develop a plan and solve the problem and they help clients, monitor feelings and behavior, particularly those associated with their diagnosis. Support groups are useful for apprehensive clients who are looking for a safe environment and they boast remembers efforts to develop and strengthen their ability to manage thinking and emotions and interpersonal skills support groups. Don’t have a trained facilitator necessarily, so they’re. Not necessarily. How do I want to say this? They’re only as effective as the effectiveness of the group leader and the health of the group leader, support groups, address pragmatic concerns, and generally improve members, self-esteem and self-confidence they’re. Often open-ended with changing members, encourage discussion about members, current situations, and recent problems. So we’re less focused on education and skill building and more focused on what’s going on with you today, and they provide peer feedback and require members are accountable to one. Other support groups vary with group goals and member needs and include facilitating desilting discussion among members while maintaining appropriate group boundaries, which can be a little difficult, especially with untrained if there are no trained facilitators there. These groups can help the group the whole group work through obstacles and conflicts. So if you’ve got people that are arguing within the group remember, this is a microcosm. This is a little family, whether it’s a support group or any other kind of group. These people meet every week and there are going to be conflicts, so we want to help people work through these and develop acceptance and regard for one another support groups ensure that interpersonal struggles among group members do not hinder group development. So if you’ve got a relationship budding between two people, not unheard of, or if you’ve, got a huge conflict, getting ready to happen between two people. You want to make sure that doesn’t interfere with the group process, so you may need to handle that outside of the group, or you know, figure out how to address it. Interpersonal process groups recognized conflicting forces in the mind, some of which may be outside of one’s. Awareness determines a person’s behavior, whether it’s helpful or unhelpful. So interpersonal process groups help people identify the developmental influences and other things that have gotten them to where they are, that influence, how they act and react the way they do currently, and bring a lot of stuff into awareness. Oh, that makes sense that I react that way because that’s how my mom used to react or when I did that when I was a kid I got in trouble for it whatever the case may be interpersonal process groups delve into major developmental issues. Searching for patterns that contribute to the problem or interfere with recovery abandonment issues is one that comes up a lot looking at the family of origin and their coping skills. We want to learn. What did you learn when you were growing up that is? You are using now and how effective is that for you, these groups use psycho dynamics or the way people function psychologically to promote change and healing and rely on the here-and-now interactions of members. So we’re focusing on all this stuff. That made you who you are and gave you the tools that you have right now, how’s that working for you? So there are multiple types of groups that are available to assist clients in achieving their goals. We view current coping skills as creative adaptations to what they’ve learned and ways to get their needs met. They may not be the healthiest coping skills, but they are serving a purpose. So we want to look at the way. Clients are coping acting interacting. Just look at their behaviors and ask ourselves what’s the benefit to that? What’s motivating is that, because we always choose the behavior. That seems – and I emphasize the word seems to have the most reward to it, based on reward and effort groups, help strengthen the healthy skills, but they also help point out some of the unhealthy ones, and again a lot of times it has more to it. If it comes from a peer, as opposed to, if it comes from a therapist skills required to facilitate groups, overlap significantly a lot of my psycho, groups are also kind of skills groups. I kind of do a psycho, ed skills blend when I do groups that are, my style though, and the group facilitator needs to figure out his or her style because you’re going to set the tone for your group. Not everybody is going to thrive in your group. Just like not everybody is going to mesh with you as an individual therapist, knowing your style and being confident is one of the first steps to having a really strong group experience. Types of groups include psychoeducational, which provides your knowledge, and classroom-type format. Skills development provides takes the information that knowledge and helps people translate it into skills. Okay. Now I know what an unhelpful thought or a cognitive distortion is. What do I do about it? Skills group is the: what do I do about it and let’s practice it. So when I have this thought, what can I do? Cognitive behavioral groups kind of integrate those but focus strongly on what’s going on with the individual and the thoughts if you think, of the ABCs, the automatic beliefs that may be perpetuating or maintaining the unpleasant consequences and support groups are those groups that Are not facilitated by a trained facilitator or by a clinical facilitator. In some groups like smart recovery, the facilitators are trained, but they’re, not necessarily clinicians and group members are accountable to one another more so than accountable to a group leader who starts the group by telling people what they’re going to learn and do and why it’s useful to them make them care, give them that global perspective of what’s going to happen and then go through the information step by step or sequentially. So all of your learners are getting as much as possible provide an overview of what you’re talking about have written material like I said, if copies are a big issue where you come from it’s, not unheard of, or if you just don’t like making lots of Xerox copies, write it on a whiteboard and encourage clients to bring a notebook and write it down. Clients will remember things better if they have to write them down because they’re going. To paraphrase it, which is a form of kinesthetic learning before they write it down most likely because they want to write down as little as possible, discuss the material and apply it ask for their input. How do you deal with this? What do you think about this option? How could you use this? How could you have used this last week and what do you think you might? How do you think you might use it next week and give me an example of what that would look like for you? Can also have them roleplay, maybe they’re having somebody in the group having a particular issue with a supervisor or roommate. You may choose to roleplay that in a group and have them apply a skill that you’re talking about. Have each group member close by identifying one thing they got at a group and how they are going to use it in their recovery plan. Again, it brings it back to caring, has the kind of tie it up into a neat bow, and is able to walk out with one tool. Yep give them two too many tools in one group and they’re going to walk out, and none of them are going to get used. You give them one tool and they walk out. They may try to use it throughout the week and then next week in the group, you can ask them how’d it go. If you enjoy this podcast, please like and subscribe either in your podcast player or on YouTube, you can attend and participate in our life. Webinars with doctor Snipes by subscribing at all CEUs comm, slash counselor toolbox. This episode has been brought to you in part by all CEUs com providing 24 7 multimedia, continuing education, and pre-certification; training to counselors therapists, and nurses, since 2006 use the coupon code consular toolbox to get a 20 discount off your order. This month,As found on YouTubeHi, My name is James Gordon 👻🗯 I’m going to share with you the system I used to permanently cure the depression that I struggled with for over 20 years. My approach is going to teach you how to get to the root of your struggle with depression, with NO drugs and NO expensive and endless therapy sessions. If you’re ready to get on the path to finally overcome your depression, I invite you to keep reading…
Welcome to happiness isn’t brain surgery
with Dr. Snipes. This podcast was created to provide you
the information and tools Doc Snipes gives her clients so that you too can
start living happier. Our website DocSnipes.com has even more resources
videos and handouts and even interactive sessions with Doc Snipes to help you
apply what you learn. Go to DocSnipes.com to learn more. Hey everybody and
Welcome to happiness isn’t brain surgery with Doc Snipes: Practical tools to
improve your mood and quality of life. Tonight we’re talking about 10 ways to
deal with social anxiety a lot of people have social anxiety and that’s basically
having unreasonable fears that you know are kind of excessive when it comes to
being in any kind of social situation some people have only social anxiety
when they’ve got to do things like perform or public speaking or something
like that other people have social anxiety when they have to go to work
when they have to be in crowds they don’t like going to the shopping center
or the mall where there are a lot of people around so depending on your level
of social anxiety, some of these things may be helpful to help you work through
and deal with your social anxiety the first is to minimize stimulants
stimulants Reb you up anxiety Rebs you up when you take stimulants if
you drink too much coffee you may feel anxious so if you’re drinking stimulants
before you go into an anxiety-provoking situation you may miss attributing your
anxiety about the social situation when in actuality it was the caffeine or the
nicotine the other thing that you want to do is pay attention when you’re at
some of these events that you’re minimizing your stimulants the other
thing and I’ll you know this is not stimulant alcohol is technically a
depressant but when alcohol starts to wear off about it 30 minutes after you
drink your drink it starts to wear off and there’s an anxiety rebound with
alcohol so if you have high anxiety if you have social anxiety drinking to
quell that anxiety is probably not your best
bet because in the end it’s gonna kind of backfire and bite you in the ass know
your temperament not everybody likes being around big groups of people
I draw energy from being around people so I love being around
groups but my daughter on the other hand is much more of an introvert and she
would prefer to be around you know two or three people at a time she gets
exhausted when she has to be in big groups of people it doesn’t mean
she’s got social anxiety so know what your preference is for being around
people so when you’re developing your self-confidence when you’re developing
your skills when you’re working through social anxiety you’re not putting
yourself in situations that would stress you out anyway so know your temperament
if you’re an introvert when you’re making your exposure hierarchy which
we’re going to talk about it in a minute you’re gonna start with something like
going out for coffee with a friend to Starbucks or maybe even having a friend
over for coffee in your house depending on how bad your social anxiety is and
then you’re gonna work up from there but if you are an introvert you’re never
gonna be relaxed in a group of a large group of people so I just
understanding the difference between being anxious and feeling like
you’re gonna crawl out of your skin and be uncomfortable or have it be very
draining to be in a large group of people who understand your temperament
that’s part of it so you can say you know this is normal I am not the type of
a person who likes to be in a large group of people so it’s going to take some
preparation and it’s going to take a lot of energy but I can do it knowing your
triggers different things trigger anxiety for different people some people
have anxiety when they feel like they’re going to be evaluated so if they’re
doing a presentation for their colleagues or their peers they’re more
likely to be more anxious than if they’re say hanging out with five other parents at a
kid’s play date or something some people have one of their triggers is
authority figures I know whenever I had to present in front of the CEO or in
front of my department chair or whoever gave me more anxiety than
presenting even in front of a class of a hundred and fifty students so it’s kind
of all about what your particular triggers are if the other trigger you
might want to consider the situation you know if you feel like you are on
stage if you feel like you are the center and everybody’s looking at you
that’s probably going to be a lot more anxiety-provoking than if you are mixing
and mingling with other people at a party so know what triggers your anxiety
so thinking about how your social anxiety impacts your life what kinds of
things can you not do or what kinds of things do you find are just terrifying
to keep a list of all of those things starting with the things that only make
you a little bit nervous about things that you would rather you know pull your
eyebrows out then do and start at the beginning start with the things that
only cause you a little bit of anxiety imagine them rehearsing and doing them
in your mind see yourself going through them successfully for example a job
interview or a first date imagine what it’s going to be like what the other
a person is going to say how you’re going to respond and how it’s all going to go
well just keep imagining that until you can imagine it or think about it and you
don’t feel stressed than when you go in to do it it’s going to be a lot easier
once you get past that first thing move on to the next thing that causes a
little bit more anxiety all right start at the beginning again imagine doing it
see yourself going all the way through maybe it’s doing a public speech see
yourself getting dressed for it getting ready for walking out on stage and
delivering the speech and seeing it go well you’re not going to see yourself
tripping and falling you’re not going to see yourself stuttering and stammering
or dropping all your note cards or anything those are the things the cat
strophic thoughts that you have that are likely not going to happen I want you to
imagine it going perfectly rehearse it in your mind until you can do it
literally with your eyes closed then when you go out to do it, it’s going to
be that much easier because you’ve already done it 20 times in your own
head and been successful at it so just do it like you practiced keep a rational
outlook a lot of times social anxiety is caused by catastrophic self-statements
things that you tell yourself people are judging me they’re laughing at me
people are gonna think I’m an idiot um whatever your thoughts are so keep a
list what those thoughts are and write counter thoughts to the people
are judging me well they may be but do you care so if people are judging me
that’s on them if people are laughing at me well at least they’re laughing but in
reality what other reasons could the people have had to be laughing what are
three other explanations for why they might be laughing besides laughing at
you so look at your catastrophic self
statements like I told you before imagining that you’re going to go
out on stage and you’re gonna walk out there you’re gonna trip over your own
two feet and you’re gonna wipe out on the way to do this presentation and
humiliate yourself well that’s pretty darn catastrophic so think about exactly
what is going to happen what are you going to do and how rational how
realistic how likely is it that all these things are gonna happen and you
know if that is one of your fears watch the movie Miss Congeniality because she
is going at as Miss America I think is who she’s trying to portray and she
falls flat on her face and she just picks herself right back up and walks on
and nobody thinks anything of it after that it’s not like a week later or 20
minutes later in the movie, people are still talking about her falling she
did she over it and you know move past it when
you make a big deal out of it when people start to think about it a little
bit more practice breathing when we get stressed we tend to breathe more
shallowly and more rapidly when you breathe slowly and deeply you’re
triggering the relaxation response in your body it doesn’t mean you have to
take those big giant deep breaths as you do at the doctor’s office or
anything that’s overly dramas is it but focus on your breathing if you start
feeling yourself getting an anxious breath in for a count of three hold for a count
of three and breathe out for a count of three and you know again it doesn’t have
to be noticeable that you’re doing it you can do it in a meeting and nobody
will even know but if you can slow your breathing you’ll slow your heart rate
and you’ll trigger the relaxation response to help you deal with your
anxiety sometimes we’ve just got to suck it up and go through things that create
a lot of anxiety for us I remember one place I worked once a month we would
have to get up in front of all of our colleagues and all of the executives and
give a report on how our department was doing I hated doing that I hated being
up there giving this report not because of the content of the report I just
hated being up there in front of everybody and it was no big deal
but it would cause me a little bit of anxiety if I had to do it
so distress tolerance techniques were always useful because it was an
eight-hour meeting so it might be four hours of me sitting there anticipating
going up and having to give my speech so what would I do during the four hours
while I was waiting I would do activities I would listen to what other
people were saying I would make notes I would sometimes go through clinical
charts and sign off on documentation and not pay attention but you know I digress
contributing so if you’re at a party you can’t do it in a meeting but if
you’re at a party for example and used feeling anxious get up maybe help the
hostess out or the host out in the kitchen go around pick up glasses pick
up trash throw things away do something to be helpful to contribute so you’re
not feeling like you’re having to sit there and be on the spot comparisons can
help too you can just kind of blend back into the wall a little bit and compare
how you’re doing to how other people are doing or how you’re doing to how you’ve
done in the past because you’re probably doing better now than you did then
trigger opposite emotions is another way of dealing with distress if you’re
feeling anxious you know bring out the opposite tell a joke find something
funny find a video or something that makes you laugh and share it with other
people because that’ll make you start laughing and feel more relaxed and
release endorphins you can also just push away some of those thoughts that
keep coming into your head I’m gonna make a mistake I’m gonna say something
stupid they’re judging me it’s gonna be awful just push those thoughts away and
Do you know what no I can do this and I’m going to push through the final
the thing you can do in this particular set of distress tolerance techniques is
sensations focus on sensations some people have a rubber band that they snap
on their wrists to kind of help them focus on something else
some people wring their hands I don’t recommend that because you know that
just kind of shows you’re anxious and keeps your anxiety going listening to
loud music you can go into the bathroom and splash cold water on your face
unless it’ll make your mascara run there are a variety of things you can do that you
can also find go and find some coffee because coffee is hot and that focus on
how the coffee feels in your hands when you’re holding the cup focus on the
taste of the coffee that hot sensation will kind of distract you from other
things that are going on so focus and we’re going to talk about one thing at a
time in a minute another set of distress tolerance techniques that can help our
imagery and we’ve talked about rehearsing it before you go to the party
imagine what you’re going to do before you go to the mixer or your in-laws
or wherever it is you’re going that’s potentially going to cause you anxiety
imagine going through it and doing it successfully to find meaning in what you’re
doing so sometimes you know maybe you’re going to your spouse’s holiday Christmas
party and it’s like the last thing you want to do because you don’t like big
crowds like that you don’t know anybody but find meaning in it why are you doing
this is because it’s helpful to your spouse you’re providing support and you know
maybe you can find somebody that has similar hobbies or something before you
go if you’re going to your spouse’s Christmas party for example try to find
out who might be at the party that shares similar hobbies and stuff I know
my husband works with people who do organic gardening and who are kind of
health-conscious I won’t say fanatical but health-conscious like I am and we
like to use a lot of lentils and beans and cook in health healthy ways so
identifying those people I can’t talk about what they do at work because
that’s just way out of my wheelhouse and over my head but I can talk with them
about these other things so I’m not just standing there looking around and feeling
like I’m out of place so find meaning in what you’re doing and try to find
connections and commonalities with other people before you go and then you know I
can have I would have my spouse introduce me to one of the people that
does organic gardening for example and then we could start talking once you get
more comfortable then you’re going to feel more at ease walking up to people
and going hey you know and striking up a conversation and finding out
commonalities if you’ve got children a lot of other people have children so
you can talk about your kids or if you’ve got pets you can talk about your
pets your dog’s people love their dog’s prayer can help sometimes you
just got to take a breath and say a prayer before you walk into that
situation to kind of get you through and get you going
practice relaxation if you’re feeling stressed just again don’t
have to get out of your chair you don’t have to go anywhere but practice tensing
and releasing your muscles clenching your fists and releasing your hands and feel
the difference between tense and released and then tense kind of your
whole upper body and you don’t have to do it like this because that’s obvious
but you can kind of tense up a little bit and relax and feel the difference
between stressed and relaxed and then when you do it one more time you tense
and when you relaxed you feel all the stress just draining out of your body
out of your fingertips so that’s a kind of guided relaxation to help you when
you’re kind of on the spot one thing at a time when you’re in a
the social situation there is a lot of input there is a lot of stimulus going around
a lot of people focus on one thing at a time if you start getting overwhelmed if
you’re at a party maybe you can go over and get something to eat and focus on
talking to one person at a time or focusing on what you’re eating or you know find
something that you can focus on so you’re not trying to keep up with
everything that’s going on takes a mental vacation or a physical vacation
sometimes you just got to excuse yourself and go to the bathroom and hide
out for five minutes and that’s okay you know sometimes you need to go somewhere
where you know nobody’s watching and you can take those good deep breaths and go
you know I got this it’s gonna be okay I’m doing fine give yourself a pep talk
look realistically over how the night’s gone and the majority of it has gone
okay yeah they’re probably going to be some hiccups and Pho paws here and there
and if there are that’s okay it happens to everybody nobody is perfect at their
social interactions all the time and that’s okay
but look over it realistically to realize that tonight is going
okay it may not be going the way you had hoped it would but it’s going okay
there’s nothing catastrophic ly wrong and remember that we are a lot more
important in our minds than we are in anybody else’s mind so when we make a
the mistake we will remember it for six months but other people probably forget
it’s about sixty minutes later it’s just you know even if it’s something like you
walked out of the bathroom and you had your dress tucked in the back your
panties did that before trusting me not something I want to repeat
but I would bet if I asked any of my staff now yes I did it at work about
that incident they’d look at me and go no I don’t remember that I remember it
because it was mortifying but nobody else cared they were passed it by
the next day nobody thought anything about it so remember that a lot
of stuff that seems huge and glaring to you is only because it happened to you
and other people are so involved in their own life they probably didn’t
notice or won’t remember that fear is an acronym standing for false
evidence appearing real so always examine the evidence if
something happens and you think it is the absolute worst thing in the world
and you’re just gonna die how likely is it that that’s true is it the worst
the thing in the world is people judging you so look at the evidence how do you
know this is going on for certain and what are other explanations for what
might be going on mentally rehearsing those stressful social situations get
ready for it the job interview the first date and for some people even going to
the doctor can be a stressful social situation because they get kind of a
white coat syndrome where they don’t they’re afraid to speak up to their
doctor, I found that if there is a certain set of things that you need to
say like if you’re going in to talk to your boss or you’re going in to talk to
your doctor sometimes it’s helpful to write down a list of the points that you
want to cover with them or the symptoms that you’re having
so you can go over it and make sure you get everything said and you don’t end up
kind of getting shut down when I used to go have supervision with my boss you
know I only got supervision for one hour once a week and that was if I was lucky
so I would go in with a whole laundry list of things and it could be the stuff
that I was upset about or having difficulty with and I could have a
laundry list and just go through it and mark it off so I would make sure that I
got everything said and I covered and we were on the same page by the end of the
the meeting finally practice mindfulness and focus on your surroundings to know how you
feel if you start feeling anxious a step back and ask yourself why am I anxious
what do I need right now to feel calmer try to do this periodically
so you don’t wait until your anxiety is off-the-charts focus on your
surroundings look around to find places and little niches that you might feel
comfortable maybe there’s somebody else sitting over in the corner and you can
go sit down with them and chat maybe there’s an empty seat somewhere that you
can just go sit down and take a breath or go out on if it’s a patio or a party
maybe you can go out on the patio for a few minutes oftentimes there’s somebody
sitting out on the patio trying to get a little peace so you
can find a situation that’s less anxiety-provoking two little bonus things I’m
going to tell you with social anxiety a lot of times people are afraid that
they’re going to offend someone and these days it is so easy to offend
people so what I tell my clients and my kids and what I try to remember myself
is before I speak or when I’m talking to people if what I’m saying is true
helpful important necessary and kind then you know
there’s probably a good chance I won’t offend them look on your social media
look at the comments people leave on other people’s posts and stuff and see
if they meet these criteria true helpful important necessary and kind 90% of the
time the answer is no well I won’t say that much about 50% of the time the
the answer is no there are a lot of times people will just say nasty stuff that
didn’t need to be said and that can be offensive but if you practice and
focus on making sure what you say is true helpful important necessary and
kind and if you’re following me that spells out think then the chances that you’re going to
offend somebody are greatly reduced if the person still gets offended it’s
probably more about them because you aren’t trying to offend them you weren’t
trying to be hurtful you are trying to be helpful and kind therefore it may be
more about their stuff whether they have an issue with you or they have an issue
with something else that’s going on and you just happen to be kind of in the way
it’s more about them you can’t control how they react to things it’s their
responsibility if you’re being nice and they take it the wrong way and they get
offended that’s their perception and they need to work on that the other
bonus that I’ll tell you to take away is something I got from dr.Seuss and I
love something he says about the judgment of those whose minds don’t matter and those
who matter don’t mind so the people who matter in your life they’re going to be
people judge you all the time that’s just the way humans are but those who
mind what you do those who get offended those who judge you all the time they
don’t matter the people who matter to you don’t mind if you make a mistake
don’t mind if you’re not perfect they probably embrace all of your
imperfections so before you approach a social situation remember not
everybody’s gonna like you that’s just it’s not possible to have everybody like
you so remember the wise words of dr. Seuss those whose minds don’t matter and
those who matter don’t mind if you like this podcast subscribe to your favorite
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joining us and let us know how we can help youAs found on YouTubeHi, My name is James Gordon 👻🗯 I’m going to share with you the system I used to permanently cure the depression that I struggled with for over 20 years. My approach is going to teach you how to get to the root of your struggle with depression, with NO drugs and NO expensive and endless therapy sessions. If you’re ready to get on the path to finally overcome your depression, I invite you to keep reading…