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7 Signs You Have Abandonment Issues
Five: you look for reasons to leave. Do you always look for reasons to leave in fear of getting too attached to someone? You hold your loved ones to unrealistically high standards and you only focus on their flaws. You don’t give them any room for mistakes. You do this knowing that they’re bound to disappoint you. And when they fail to meet your expectations, you use it as an excuse to give up and leave. Six: you move on too quickly Do you have difficulty forming meaningful relationships that last because of a deep-seated fear of abandonment? When you cycle through relationships one after another and move on too quickly, you’re not allowing yourself the time and space to deal with the emotional fallout. Instead, you dive into something new and exciting to distract yourself. You never want to be alone, because it would force you to confront the personal issues you’ve been repressing for so long. And number 7… you cling to unhealthy relationships Do you find yourself gravitating towards all the wrong people? Have you stayed with someone knowing they’re bad for you? The trauma of being abandoned, especially at a young age, can stay with you for a long time.
And since we’re all hard-wired to recreate our early childhood experiences for comfort and familiarity, your childhood taught you the wrong things about love. It’s not uncommon for you to be drawn to people who treat you poorly. Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here? I know I did… Is a fear of abandonment harming your relationships and keeping you from being happy? Let us know in the comments below. If you found this video helpful, be sure to like and share this video with those who might benefit from it! Don’t forget to subscribe to Psych2go for more videos! Thanks for watching, and we’ll see you in the next one!
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Things Are Really Bad Right Now…
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if somebody quits using and maybe you know you are seeing them as a mental health client and
they had an accident or had surgery or something they started using pills they got a couple of
refills then the doctor said no I’m cutting you off and now they’re going through a detox period
detox from opiates is unpleasant but it is rarely life-threatening unless somebody becomes their
electrolytes get imbalanced because of the flu symptoms but we still may see this in private
practice in mental health practice because of the scenario I just told you people can start
taking painkillers as prescribed for something they may get addicted you know take them for
a month or so then when they get off of them not only do they feel like you know really bad
but their pain is also back and it may be they had their wisdom teeth out that pain may be gone
but other aches and pains and everything you feel is probably going to be intensified until the
body kicks back in so educating clients about this is what happens you know it’s not uncommon
if you think it’s too bad go see your doctor helping them make sure they’re getting
good nutrition you know it’s hard if you’ve got flu symptoms to feel like you want to eat or
hold anything down so what can you do to make sure your body has the building blocks to make the
stuff that it needs to help you feel better what can you do to improve your sleep and a lot of our
clients and you know where I used to work we had a methadone clinic and we also had a mother
baby unit and as soon as the mothers would give birth then the doctor would start them on
their detox from methadone and he didn’t believe in the kinder gentler taper he was just like okay
baby’s gone threats gone because you can’t detox from somebody from opiates when they are pregnant
because it can cause the baby to die anyway so as soon as they would stop or as soon as
they weren’t pregnant anymore he would just D see them and they would feel really bad I mean
not only did they just push an 8-pound something out of their body but they also are experiencing
a decreased pain tolerance because they’re not on the opiates anymore and all they want to do is
sleep it’s just like please so understanding that is important in helping people get through
that period even though they may want to sleep all the time helping them understand that it’s
important to maintain their circadian rhythms if they have to take two or three ten-minute
power naps throughout the day to get through the day you know more power to them but if they
can practice good sleep hygiene they’re gonna be way better off in the long run OPD opiate
abuse is also or opiate use is also associated with the treatment of depression but it can cause
depressive symptoms due to its pharmacological properties I mean it slows everything down from
you’re gastrointestinal to your heart rate to your respiration you’re not breathing as much you’re
not getting as much oxygen in you’re gonna have more fatigue you’re gonna have more confusion
you’re going to have more of those symptoms of depression for some people they find it is and
certain opiates they find it is a powerful way to reduce anxiety it makes them feel like they’ve
got a ton of energy because they’re not stressed out anymore and this last one is one of the
The main reason that I find people don’t want to give up opiates is that they finally feel better when
they’re on the eating disorders commonly a coat co-occur with depression and anxiety which can
be caused by nutritional deficiencies you know you’re not giving your body the building blocks
so it can’t make the neurotransmitters it needs and it also probably disrupts your sleep some
and depression anxiety can cause or trigger or whatever you want to say eating disorders because
people with eating disorders may fear becoming fat have low self-esteem have a sense of lack of
self-control or have body dysmorphic disorder so we also want to be aware that there are mental
health stuff that can trigger dysfunctional eating patterns there’s about a 24% prevalence of PTSD
among people with eating disorders so if you’ve got a client with eating disorders especially
bulimia be on the lookout for depression anxiety body dysmorphic disorder alcoholism and PTSD they
maybe smoking too but of the things, I just listed that’s probably the least of their worries it’s
all eating disorders are also associated with alcoholism and smoking I said physical health
issues now you’re seeing somebody with an eating disorder it’s a mild eating disorder you’re seeing
them once a week outpatient so you’re not and you have you know you have training and
working with eating disorders or maybe it’s mild enough that you’re just getting supervision
on treating this issue whatever being aware that people with eating disorders anorexia or bulimia
can have irregular heartbeats and cardiac arrest due to potassium imbalances and electrolyte
imbalances so if they’re not eating or if they are binging and purging in some way shape or
form and that includes excessive exercise which can trigger a lot of heart problems they may have
loss of bone mass and osteoporosis so they may break bones a little bit easier going back up to
the heartbeat not to belabor the point but again heart problems mean a lack of available oxygen
mean confusion fatigue potential difficulty sleeping depressive symptoms and you know cardiac
arrest in and of itself is bad kidney damage from Doretta caboose and low potassium can also
potentially drain damaged the adrenals which are on the kidneys and so it’s important to be
aware of what people are using a lot of people with eating disorders are going to creatively
use stimulants to suppress their appetite think about any of your diet drugs your enter mean I
think it’s one of them the ones they give to help people lose weight they’re stimulants
they’re intense stimulants so people who are struggling with eating disorders are likely to go
towards abusing stimulants or at least using them which can drain the adrenals it can in some
cases have been linked to the development of Addison’s disease liver damage from not eating
or binging and purging causing toxin buildup and possibly pain we can help people deal with it
as much as we can anemia which can cause symptoms of depression in and of itself so goes back to
that nutrition making sure they’re getting enough infertility which in and of itself can be
devastating for young women if they can’t have children anymore or can’t have children
ever that may be a grief issue that we need to help them deal with cathartic: and this is
an important one to be aware of because you don’t have to have somebody who uses laxatives
all the time but people who regularly use or abuse laxatives can become dependent on them so
when they don’t use them they have a feeling of bloating feeling full and abdominal pain which
especially in people with eating disorders or body morphic disorders surrounding just general
body fit bad back body fat can greatly increase anxiety depression hopelessness and in some
cases of suicidality so again educating people is the first step to helping them understand what’s
going on and how dangerous laxatives can be but also if somebody is trying to cut back on their
use of laxatives or just recently stopped using laxatives like when people stopped using
opiates it takes the body a while to get back online but for most people it eventually does
people with eating disorders also have chronic ulcers which are painful and can keep you up at night
As you know gastric reflux and pancreatitis which can flare up at a moment’s notice will is
extraordinarily painful and can cause people to lose time from school or work social activities
feel bad about themselves and also pancreatitis causes a lot of bloating
which in eating disorders is a huge trigger for anxiety and depression pathological gambling
is associated with stimulant abuse especially cocaine methamphetamine and Ritalin to stay
focused disrupted sleep and rebound depression when they quit taking that stuff they wake up and
they’re like oh wow what did I just do alcoholism is also associated with pathological gambling
some people drink to calm their nerves some people drink because it’s the culture if you go
to any of the casinos you know their hand-and-out drinks, they’re trying to get you drunk so you
keep gambling more and there’s as we spoke about earlier rebound depression or anxiety smoking
may help people increase their focus or make them think they can increase their focus so if
you can’t smoke in public places this is more of an issue if you have somebody who does a lot of
online gambling or they gamble at their friend’s house or somebody’s house where there’s poker
games and stuff smoking has some anti-anxiety anti-anxiety properties and may be part of the
the culture I know when my daddy used to have his poker games everybody would smoke cigars and even
the one woman who went there would be smoking a cigar with everybody else and it was just the
culture of being there so there are a lot of different reasons that people may use substances
in addition to gambling mental health issues from gambling anxiety from the stimulant use or from
the tension and release of am I going to you know I’m down $20,000 am I going to make it back ADHD
is also strongly associated with pathological gambling bipolar disorder, especially during manic
phases are associated with pathological gambling generally you see them co-occurring it’s not
like gambling causes it it’s you will see co-occur depression can occur due to losses and
gambling can start because somebody’s depressed because of their financial situation and their
trying to figure out a way to you know borrow from Peter to pay Paul and get ahead you also see
pathological gambling is more strongly associated with people who have obsessive-compulsive
disorder if you’ve got clients with these diagnoses just kind of you know be attentive to
the fact that they are more likely to engage in pathological gambling or if they start gambling
it’s more likely to become a problem than for people who don’t have these issues internet
an addiction that is diagnoseable so you know I’m not just making something up
depending on your resource affects eight point two percent to thirty-eight percent of the
general population now obviously we were looking at you know like games versus you know games plus
Facebook plus shopping or something so depending on the study you looked at their parameters
were a little bit different but either way up to 38 percent of the population has sacrificed
significant personal recreational activities to engage in some sort of internet
behavior Internet addiction can cause anxiety or depression due to eyestrain and chronic headaches
you know if you’re hurting all the time it can make you feel wonky it can also interrupt your
sleep can cause circadian rhythm disorder which can trigger depression fatigue reduced stress
tolerance this is a condition when your body doesn’t know whether it’s supposed to be awake
or asleep because a lot of people who engage in internet-addictive behaviors do so in the dark or
you know they don’t pay attention to whether the lights are on or not they may just sit there kind of
in their cave carpal tunnel contributes to pain and sleep disruption because carpal tunnel does
wake you up at night back ache again may disrupt your sleep and can cause chronic pain during the
a day which can interrupt your daily activities poor nutrition I know a lot of gamers that will sit
there for an entire weekend and not get up to go eat so if it’s not brought to them they don’t eat
they’ll even wear adult diapers so they don’t have to get up to go to the bathroom reduced immunity
due to exhaustion from not sleeping and job or relationship problems I know uh several people
whose marriages ended over a world of warcraft’ so internet addiction is a real thing and it’s
something that we need to be cognizant of because it does cause a lot of problems and a lot of
relationships and it may be one of many problems but it’s something to look at sex addiction
can cause hepatitis and a variety of different STDs which if not treated can cause systemic problems
it’s related to anxiety and depression because sex addiction may begin in order because somebody
wants to feel loved or connected maybe after a breakup or because they never felt loved you’re
connected and then they feel that rush and they’re like oh I like that I want to do that again part
of it could be engaging in that behavior which is so thrilling you know depends on the person
psychological withdrawal from sex addiction people who have been engaging in sex addiction
type behaviors and I include pornography addiction in it for this presentation if they’re not able to
access that may start feeling anxious or depressed they can’t get to that they can’t get to the
the thing that’s gonna cause the dopamine rush and reflection on behaviors that they’ve engaged in
as a part of their sex addiction can also prompt anxiety about a spouse finding out you know am I
going to develop an STD and am I you know how I feel about what I’ve been doing so as clinicians
if we’re working with somebody who has compulsive sexual behaviors even if you know anywhere about that
the spectrum we need to be aware that these things may exist and figure out or help them figure out
how they feel about it and what they need to do to make sure that they’re getting good sleep
that they’re dealing with their depression and their anxiety so that they can have a safe internal
and external environment so back to that global perspective how can we and why is it important
to address chronic illness and disabilities that result from or cause mood disorders or
addictions how can we address depression anxiety and hopelessness that results from or causes
depression anxiety or physical problems how can we address physical problems that are caused
by mood or addictions and how can we address guilt or regret which may accompany addiction
recovery or the realization of a diagnosis of a disease caused by the addiction so while you kind
of ponder those there was a question that came in so question what about robbing Peter to
pay Paul in association with trauma specifically childhood trauma so if you could clarify that
for me a little bit I had mentioned robbing Peter to pay Paul in terms of gambling so I’m just so
mental health issues can be caused by or trigger addictions or physical health issues addictions
can cause or trigger mental health issues or physical health issues that can
be caused by addictions or mental health issues so again chicken-or-egg we don’t necessarily know
which one came first when you have any one of these it’s probably going to or likely impact
each other person or each other area common issues are seen in all three changes in sleeping
changes in nutrition fatigue and grief effective treatment requires addressing the underlying
causes as well as the ripple effects you know so yes after childhood trauma or trauma
of any sort, some people may spend a lot of time feeding the addiction as you put it or
engaging in addictive behaviors to avoid some of the PTSD symptoms to avoid thinking about it
to deal with the grief to deal with the shame so they may engage in something that makes them
feel better or helps them forget to cope with the trauma that happened until they
have other tools so they can come to some sort of terms with it and you know as I
say close that chapter in their book already if there are no other questions tomorrow’s
the presentation I learned a lot creating is on alcohol-related dementia and vascular dementia
and fetal alcohol spectrum disorders all three of which are issues that are caused by substance
use and specifically alcoholism and then I’ll give you a hint about where an acute Korsakoff a
a lot of clients who abuse alcohol but they’re not alcohol dependent who decide to stop drinking can
trigger where Nikki Korsakoff syndrome and causes alcohol-related dementia-type symptoms
so again in mental health, we need to be on the lookout for it if we hear that our clients
are trying to cut down on their alcohol use alrighty everybody and so tomorrow is that
presentation and then Thursday we’re going to look at different models of new bottles of
treatment if you enjoy this podcast please like and subscribe either in your podcast player
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