Category: Style

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In ancient Greece, headaches were considered powerful afflictions. Victims prayed for relief from Asclepius, the god of medicine. And if pain continued, a medical practitioner would perform the best-known remedy— drilling a small hole in the skull to drain supposedly infected blood. This dire technique, called trepanation, often replaced the headache with a more permanent condition.
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Fortunately, doctors today don’t resort to power tools to cure headaches. But we still have a lot to learn about this ancient ailment. Today, we’ve classified headaches into two camps— primary headaches and secondary headaches.
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The former are not symptomatic of an underlying disease, injury, or condition; they are the condition.
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But we’ll come back to them in a minute because while primary headaches account for 50% of reported cases, we actually know much more about secondary headaches. These are caused by other health problems, with triggers ranging from dehydration and caffeine withdrawal to head and neck injury, and heart disease.
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Doctors have classified over 150 diagnosable types, all with different potential causes, symptoms, and treatments.
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But we’ll take just one common case —a sinus infection—as an example. The sinuses are a system of cavities that spread behind our foreheads, noses, and upper cheeks. When our sinuses are infected, our immune response heats up the area, roasting the bacteria and inflaming the cavities well past their usual size. The engorged sinuses put pressure on the cranial arteries and veins, as well as muscles in the neck and head.
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Their pain receptors, called nociceptors, trigger in response, cueing the brain to release a flood of neuropeptides that inflame the cranial blood vessels, swelling and heating up the head. This discomfort, paired with hyper-sensitive head muscles, creates the sore, throbbing pain of a headache. Not all headache pain comes from swelling.
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Tense muscles and inflamed, sensitive nerves cause varying degrees of discomfort in each headache.
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But all cases are reactions to some cranial irritant. While the cause is clear in secondary headaches, the origins of primary headaches remain unknown. Scientists are still investigating potential triggers for the three types of primary headaches: recurring, long-lasting migraines; intensely painful, rapid-fire cluster headaches; and, most common of all, the tension headache. As the name suggests, tension headaches are known for creating the sensation of a tight band squeezed around the head. These headaches increase the tenderness of the pericranial muscles, which then painfully pulse with blood and oxygen.
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Patients report stress, dehydration, and hormone changes as triggers, but these don’t fit the symptoms quite right. For example, in dehydration headaches, the frontal lobe actually shrinks away from the skull, creating forehead swelling that doesn’t match the location of the pain in tension headaches. Scientists have theories for what the actual cause is, ranging from spasming blood vessels to overly sensitive nociceptors, but no one knows for sure.
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Meanwhile, most headache research is focused on more severe primary headaches. Migraines are recurring headaches, which create a vise-like sensation on the skull that can last from four hours to three days.
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In 20% of cases, these attacks are intense enough to overload the brain with electrical energy, which hyper-excites sensory nerve endings.
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This produces hallucinations called auras, which can include seeing flashing lights and geometric patterns and experiencing tingling sensations. Cluster headaches, another primary headache type, cause burning, stabbing bursts of pain behind one eye, leading to a red eye, constricted pupil, and drooping eyelid. What can be done about these conditions, which dramatically affect many people’s quality of life? Tension headaches and most secondary cases can be treated with over-the-counter pain medications, such as anti-inflammatory drugs that reduce cranial swelling. And many secondary headache triggers, like dehydration, eye strain, and stress, can be proactively avoided.
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Migraines and cluster headaches are more complicated, and we haven’t yet discovered reliable treatments that work for everyone. But thankfully, pharmacologists and neurologists are hard at work cracking these pressing mysteries that weigh so heavily on our minds.

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Today we’re going to be talking about intrusive thoughts That’s a broad term for stuff that you don’t like that pops into your head They’re more than just thoughts – you might define them as thoughts or memories, images, urges, voices, feelings, unicorns… When I say “intrusive thoughts” in this video, I’m actually talking about all of the intrusive stuff in your head And what we’re going to look at in this video is a theory for understanding why your brain gives you intrusive thoughts, and how you can get rid of them.
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Your brain is your best frenemie It actually really likes you and it wants to give you gifts Your brain is constantly giving you gifts most of the time you just ignore these gifts like you ignore clouds passing overhead But sometimes you focus in on one of these gifts (“That’s bad”) You judge it, It makes you feel uncertain, It’s scary you focus lots of your time, and energy on it as you try to get rid of it And you do get rid of it, and you feel really good about that and that makes your brain happy (“yay”) Cuz it’s found a way to make you happy and help you get what you want If you really like resolving uncertainties and escaping your fears and getting rid of intrusive thoughts Then all your brain has to do is give you more of those so you can spend more time and energy getting rid of them And getting those feelings you want the more you want those feelings of relief from fear and anxiety – The more your brain is gonna give you opportunities to chase those feelings you so desperately want. This is all normal animal learning behavior: When you get the things you want, Dopamine neurons release Dopamine that binds to receptors around your brain It makes you feel good (“yay”) then your brains powerful pattern recognition machinery Kicks into action When you engage in compulsions to get rid of intrusive thoughts and other feelings you don’t like, you create a pattern.
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As brains notice patterns, Dopamine neurons light up earlier and earlier along the Pattern in anticipation of reward So what are you teaching your brain is the prerequisite to feeling good: Experiencing intrusive thoughts – feeling bad and engaging in compulsions So it gives you more of them.
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If you really want to get rid of the intrusive thoughts, Stop trying to get rid of them, break the pattern If you react to an intrusive thought with the coping a checking or controlling compulsion Then you’re training your brain to have that thought more But our brains are very economical. They don’t waste time throwing stuff at us that we don’t engage with. If you accept the stuff in your head is stuff in your head and you stick to your values, and you do healthy things, your brain is gonna stop throwing that stuff at you. You are not a dog – you don’t have to chase every stick your brain throws at you If you stop chasing the sticks, your brain will stop throwing them. It’s okay to have stuff in your head you don’t like you can have thoughts and memories and urges and voices and images and fears and anything you don’t like.
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You can have all of that bouncing around up there, and you can DO healthy things that align with your values They help you be healthy and happy over the long term and reach your goals in life.
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Let your brain think what it wants to think, and take it along for the ride as you achieve your goals in life And you show your brain what you actually wanted to think about

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Good morning everybody and welcome to this  episode of integrative behavioral health   care i’m your host dr dawn elise snipes today  we are talking about one of the affective   aspects of integrative behavioral health we’re  talking about releasing anger in all its forms and  
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anxiety and depression so what are we really  talking about well when i say anger in all of its   forms what i’m talking about is obviously anger  hatred irritation resentment guilt which is anger   at yourself for something jealousy which is anger  at somebody else for something that they have  
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envy which is similar to jealousy just kind of a  different word and grief grief remember is also   going to be talked about over in depression  because when we go through the grieving process   we go through denial anger bargaining depression  and acceptance not necessarily in that order when  
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i’m talking about anxiety i’m talking about  the various forms from just general stress   to worry fear panic and depression  is obviously you’ve got your   quote run-of-the-mill depression  your clinical depression and the  
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depression that comes along with grief so we’re  talking about all of these dysphoric feelings when we hold on to dysphoria it keeps our hpa  axis revved it’s kind of like training with a   bungee cord you are trying to get away from it but  the the dysphoric feelings are like this little  
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guy back here that is just holding you back it’s  taking your energy and you’re trying to get away   but you’re just kind of stuck physically when  that happens it drains our energy it can alter   our sleep quality because we are on high alert  it can increase inflammation it reduces immunity  
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you know all of the things that we talk about  that happen when that hpa axis stays activated   for too long affectively when we’re dysphoric  a lot of times we don’t have just one simple   dysphoric emotion if we have depression we may  also have guilt and anger and resentment on top  
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of it so affectively when we are feeling unhappy  there are often a lot of associated emotions in   acceptance and commitment therapy hayes talks  about that as dirty discomfort so if you want   to learn more about that you can watch one of  the videos on acceptance and commitment therapy  
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i digress cognitively when we are in hpa axis  overdrive we are not going to think as clearly   or as flexibly because we are in fight-or-flight  mode we kind of have tunnel vision going on   so it’ll be easier once we release this dysphoria  to think you know more broadly to think more  
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flexibly we’ll have more energy in our environment  and more energy to devote to our relationships   when we are not nurturing the unpleasant feelings  which will improve our relationships and hopefully   improve our environment so let’s talk about some  of these things anger remember is your fight  
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part of the fight or flee anxiety is the flea  part of fight or flee and depression is the forget   about it part of fight or flee anxiety and anger  are responses to perceived threats remember when   you feel anxious when you feel angry it doesn’t  necessarily mean there is a threat in this context  
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at this point in time it means there might be  and you need to use that energy that your body is   freed up for you to check it out to make sure that  you’re safe to make sure that there is no threat   depression indicates a state of helplessness  and hopelessness which can be a response to  
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an ongoing threat with no hope of resolution  if you are exposed to something and you know   you just can’t seem to escape it it can you can  feel depressed you can feel hopeless and helpless   depression can also occur as a result of grief  over the loss of something or someone important  
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you know that is again a sense of hopelessness and  helplessness you’re not going to be able to get   that person or thing back so you may go through  a grieving period of depression where you lament   not having that thing in your life but it also is  an opportunity to reflect on the things that are  
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important in your life and redirect your  energy towards some of those things to be   to nurture them while they are still there so  sometimes depression can serve a motivating   focus to help you kind of get um some wind at  your back again it takes energy to stay angry  
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anxious or depressed and to complain and to blame  so we want to figure out what’s a better way   to use that energy you have to make a choice  and you notice that is italicized bolded and   underlined you have to make a choice to use your  energy to improve the next moment and you may not  
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have very much energy you may only have a sliver  of energy or an ounce or a drop or however you   want to categorize it but that energy that you  do have you have to make a choice how to use it   when i talk about dysphoria a lot  of times i use a dog poop analogy  
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we have a lot of dogs in our house so it makes  sense to me but i can be sitting at the table   or sitting on the living room in the  living room and start smelling dog poop   and that is kind of like my hpa axis telling me  that there might be a threat because you know  
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i get angry when i start to smell that i’m like  oh who did what where now it doesn’t necessarily   mean that there is dog poop somewhere in the  house one of my dogs could have just passed gas   and they do that very well thank you very  much but i have a choice at this point  
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i can sit on the sofa and get angry about the fact  that a dog may have pooped somewhere in the house   and it’s stinking up my house and it’s making  me angry that it’s stinking up my house   and i can complain about it but is that  going to do anything to resolve the smell no  
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a better use of my energy is probably  to get up and look around to see   is it dog poop or did somebody just pass  gas because that helps me figure out you   know whether there’s a problem or it’s  it’s something else that may be fleeting  
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your choice when you feel distressed  you feel anxious you feel angry you feel   depressed for some reason all right notice that  acknowledge that accept it non-judgmentally that’s   your body telling you to do something it’s telling  you that something may not be right and you need  
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to check it out all right so what do we do once  we figure out what’s going on we need to make sure   we’re safe you know look around make sure you’re  safe if not do what you need to do to get safe   but then choose your energy for  how to improve the next moment  
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it could be to use your distress tolerance skills  it could be to take a shower and get dressed   when people are grieving or depressed sometimes  get taking a shower and getting dressed is a   monumental task but if you can at least do that  that day i remember when my kids were young  
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and i had postpartum depression with  both of them but a lot worse with my son   just getting up and taking a shower and getting  depre getting dressed was seemed like a monumental   task some mornings but i felt a lot better after i  did it partly because i got up and got out of bed  
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but partly because when i forced myself to do that  i was helping to reset those circadian rhythms   you may use your energy to make a doctor’s  appointment if you are feeling clinically   depressed or you just can’t seem to shake that  anxiety maybe what you need to do is see a doctor  
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and get evaluated for any physiological causes  of what’s going on or you know maybe you want to   consider a short course of medicine that’s an a a  reasonable choice you may choose to call a friend   or to pray sometimes screaming into a pillow when  you’re angry can help and that may seem juvenile  
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but let’s think about it we know that when we  breathe in hold and breathe out when we slow our   breathing down it actually triggers the relaxation  response well when you scream into a pillow what   are you doing you’re taking a big breath in you’re  holding it for a second and then you are exhaling  
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and it’s really slow so yes you’re screaming but  you’re also slowing your breathing which can help   release some of that tension and  start triggering the rest and digest   you can also practice deep breathing and maybe  even add in a little aromatherapy take in that  
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breath that soothing smell back when i was  very young there was a a commercial for calgon   bath bath beads or bubbles or whatever it was  and their their slogan was uh calgon take me away   and you could see this woman just soaking  down into her tub and taking this deep breath  
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and letting all the stress go so aromatherapy can  have a place deep breathing we know has a place   but it’s up to you to figure out what  is the best way to use my energy now   you can ask yourself how is what i’m doing  right now helping me to improve the next moment  
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and i would ask you right now how  is what you’re doing right now   helping to improve the next moment you know maybe  you’re learning by watching this you’re learning   about uh or hoping to learn about new skills that  you can use to help you de-stress when you get  
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anxious or maybe you’re hoping to find something  that you can use right now i don’t know what can   you do as soon as this broadcast is over to  improve the next moment even if you’re having   a great day what can you do to make it even better  what can you do to continually use your energy to  
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work towards that rich and meaningful life that’s  filled with happiness that you hope to have feeling threatened or hopeless  so angry anxious or depressed   represents a state of powerlessness we don’t  like to feel powerless because that makes us  
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feel vulnerable it makes total sense and  even the primitive parts of our brain   back in that amygdala says says i don’t like  this i don’t want to keep feeling this way   all right that is reasonable what are your early  warning signs of anger anxiety and depression  
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sometimes if we can catch these things early  before irritation turns into rage it’s easier to   check it out improve the next moment and reverse  course what can you do so when you notice these   signs you can de-escalate what helps you when you  start getting angry what helps you de-escalate  
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is it going on a walk is it taking some deep  breaths what works for you keep a list of   these things because when you’re in that moment  when you’re in that zone you’re not going to be   thinking broadly about okay what are my options  you want the distress to stop so it’s nice to  
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have a little list right there by your computer on  your mobile device wherever that can help you out along with this when you start feeling  angry anxious depressed what can others do   to accommodate or help you sometimes it just  means getting out of your way and leaving you  
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alone so you can have a minute to yourself some  people really just need some me time other people   need a hug some people want someone to talk  to what is it that other people can do for you   when i worked in community mental health that  was one of the questions that we would ask  
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everybody at admission when you are experiencing  distress what things are most helpful for us to do   and what things do you absolutely not  want us to do what things are most   not helpful um and and that gave people  the option or the ability to state  
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when they were clear-headed and able to  think about the options um what would be   most helpful and give us a clue about what might  actually make the matters make matters worse   another thing that you can do before we release  it we’ve got to figure out what causes it and  
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what to do about it so another thing that you can  do is identify what are your triggers in general   what things generally make you  angry you know i get irritable um   with people who are rude for example um and going  through and identifying the things that trigger  
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your emotions you know i get depressed when  i see an animal or a person that’s suffering   so i know that’s one of my things once you  identify these situations that are general   triggers for you identify what aspects of  the situation you have power over what can  
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you do to feel empowered in this situation  with animals you know i can’t rescue every   animal i’ve had to accept that but i can engage  in animal rescue i can engage in animal advocacy   so in terms of my depression about animals who are  suffering that’s something that i have power over  
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i don’t have power over you know backyard  breeders and other things so thinking about   each of your general triggers identifying what  aspects you have power over will help you so   whenev whenever you encounter those situations  you don’t automatically feel powerless you know  
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that okay there are some things that i can do in  this situation that can help me feel empowered in what ways is holding on to your anxiety anger  or depression helpful to you and yes it can be   helpful we hold on to it for a reason a  lot of people hold on to their anxiety  
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because they’re afraid if they let it go then  they won’t be alert to threats that are going   on so examining you know what is motivating  you to hold on to these feelings and in what   ways is holding on to those dysphoric emotions  unhelpful now remember i said at the beginning  
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ident feeling them identifying them accepting  them non-judgmentally that’s always helpful   that’s your brain trying to communicate  to you holding on to them and nurturing   them for hours on end without doing anything  about them that can sometimes be unhelpful  
00:16:30
what are you afraid will happen if you let  go of your anxiety anger and depression   is that belief accurate is the belief that  if i let go of my anger at this person   they will hurt me again is that belief accurate  well and and we talked about this you know a  
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couple weeks ago when we talked about anger  not necessarily forgiveness just means letting   go of that anger just means you are choosing  not to give them a steady dose of your energy   all the time it doesn’t mean you’re forgetting  what they did it doesn’t mean you’re not learning  
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from what they did it doesn’t mean that you’re  not protecting yourself from them it means that   you’re choosing not to invest that emotional  energy over there you’re choosing to save that   for your rich and meaningful life and  those relationships that are important
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once you’ve identified what you’re afraid will   happen what can you do to address  those fears to keep yourself safe the next thing you can do is make three  lists identify you know one for anxious  
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one for angry and one for depressed identify  what you currently are anxious about what you   currently are angry about what you currently are  depressed about once you have it down on paper   you can start dealing with it you know get it  out there so you can see it and then you can  
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start crossing them off your list as you deal with  them for each one of those situations ask yourself   become mindfully aware what are the facts  about this issue in this context at this time   am i safe if not what can i do to get safe  safety is always the first priority how does  
00:18:28
this situation remind me of a past time when i  felt powerless and what is similar and different   in this situation you may be in a relationship  this it often comes up in relationships   you’ve been in bad relationships in the past  you’re in a relationship now and you start feeling  
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abandonment anxiety you start feeling anxious well  okay am i safe from abandonment right now am i   safe in my person if not what can i control to  get safe you can’t control whether that other   person comes or goes but what can you do to  make sure that you’re safe from harm how does  
00:19:09
this remind me of that past relationship when  i felt powerless okay you know maybe that your   significant other is engaging in similar behaviors  all right so what’s similar and different in this   situation well one big thing is it’s a different  significant other so we do want to consider that  
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and asking yourself you know do i know that for a  fact for a fact that this person’s behaviors and   the way they’re acting mean the same thing  that that other person’s behaviors meant   and the chances are probably not so it’s  important to look at that transference  
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and not hold people and situations in the present  hostage for something that happened in the past   be informed by the past but judge the present on  its own merits what part of this situation do i   have control over what are my toward options so  let’s stay with abandonment anxiety for right now  
00:20:14
one of my tour options might be talking to my  significant other and telling them how i’m feeling   and why or asking them about what’s going on maybe  another toward option is to call my best friend   and run it by her see what her take is on it  because she’s more objective maybe going on a  
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walk is a better tour option because sitting  there stewing over it isn’t doing me any good   you see where i’m going here figuring out what  part what parts of the situation do i have control   over how can i improve the next moment how can  i keep myself safe and improve the next moment  
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and then finally what is the probability that  if i do what i can to improve the situation   that there will still be a terrible outcome you  know what’s the probability that if i talk to   my significant other that i am going to find  out that they are getting ready to abandon me  
00:21:15
what’s the probability that that’s going  to happen what’s the probability that   if i use my energy proactively that the  worst case scenario is going to play out   most of the time the probability of  the worst case scenario is pretty small
00:21:36
okay so you’ve figured out what you are  angry anxious or depressed about you’ve   started identifying ways you can improve the  next moment to deal with it once you have done   all that you can you have this residual feeling  of anxiety or dysphoria sometimes or tension  
00:21:55
sometimes a situation can can’t be completely  resolved right now you have to have patience and   during that time when you’re have quote having  patience stewing on or continuing to hold on to   that anxiety or anger or depression just in case  that’s not doing you any good because continuing  
00:22:18
to be anxious isn’t solving the problem so once  you’re safe you’ve done what you can to improve   the next moment it’s important to trigger that  relaxation response continuing to stay revved is   only going to impair your health your energy  your happiness and maybe your relationships  
00:22:38
so make a choice i’ve identified the problem i’ve  done what i can now i’m going to make a choice   to use my energy in a more positive way and you  can use the acronym cats if you want contributions   if you engage in contributory activities to help  others maybe you go help help your neighbor do  
00:23:03
yard work or go volunteer somewhere that may  get your mind off of it that also promotes   serotonin dopamine and oxytocin release  activities to distract yourself and increase   positive emotions that also is going to increase  your serotonin and your dopamine and when you’re  
00:23:25
proactively doing these activities that you enjoy  it’s going to down regulate that hpa axis because   you’re helping as serotonin and dopamine go up  cortisol is going to go down thought restructuring   embracing the good with the bad trying to focus  on the positives you know any of those cognitive  
00:23:47
behavioral tools that you want to try to use those  are things that you can do when those unpleasant   thoughts start to resurface again you can try  to restructure those thoughts so they are more   powerful so they were that sorry so they  reflect you having more power in that situation  
00:24:09
instead of reflecting a sense of hopelessness and  helplessness and s stands for sensation immersion   we’ve talked in other videos about how  aromatherapy massage just walking outside and   feeling the sun beat on your face for a minute not  for too terribly long can help release serotonin  
00:24:32
and dopamine and endorphins exercising can also  help release those so you start using your energy   to promote those positive neurotransmitters and  start feeling better start improving your energy   deep breathing and guided imagery can also  be helpful now these there are a lot of  
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different techniques that you can use one that  i like is when i’m feeling uh anxiety or anger   when i inhale you know and it’s  the deep breathing inhale for eight   hold exhale for eight when i inhale i  envision the air coming into my body  
00:25:13
being this brilliant blue color i love blue  so blue and it’s calming and it’s cooling   i hold it for a second as as i exhale that blue  has turned to red it’s absorbed all of the anger   and anxiety and as i exhale i envision that  air coming out being red and taking all of the  
00:25:38
hot emotions with it when i’m depressed i do the  same thing but instead as i inhale i inhale yellow   yellow is cheerful to me sometimes it’s purple  but we’ll stick with yellow for this as i inhale   i inhale yellow and when i exhale i’m exhaling  all of the blackness all of the darkness that  
00:26:01
i’m feeling and you know you need to do it a few  times but it can be helpful it occupies your mind   and it also slows your breathing slows your  heart rate and triggers that rest and digest   when you’re inhaling remember feel the power  and positive energy pulsing through your body  
00:26:24
when i do it i inhale i feel that blue  coming in and almost like it’s joining   with my blood and going through all of my veins  and arteries and scouring for anger and anxiety   to absorb it um sort of thinking about it that  way but feeling it come in and energize your body  
00:26:44
you can use progressive muscular relaxation and  i have a video on that on the youtube channel   there are other people that have  progressive muscular relaxation videos   but the big thing to remember with progressive  muscular relaxation is to focus on two things  
00:27:04
noticing being able to actually relax your  muscles and feeling that tension and energy   move out of your body so i like to start from  the head and move down and every time i tense   and then i release i imagine the enter the  energy and the distress being pushed out  
00:27:26
being pushed further down kind of like  when i’m power washing the sidewalk   and then it goes out my fingertips  and out my toes eventually   so with progressive muscular relaxation you start  we’ll start at the top start at your head as you  
00:27:43
inhale you tense your scalp muscles you hold that  for a second you notice what it feels like tense   and then you actually relax and you feel those  muscles relax when you feel those muscles relax   what’s happening actually is the blood flow is  going back to that area but you can envision the  
00:28:04
blood coming in and grabbing the tension and  moving it out of your scalp and you do that   for every muscle group all the way down to your  toes when you tense hold your breath notice what   that tension feels like as you exhale say in your  head relax and feel the tension moving out of your
00:28:26
body can also try to release some of this the  distress with what i call positive power mantras   breathe in hold it for a second and  then as you exhale say your mantra   a few i am strong i am courageous i can get  through this or i am loved i have people who  
00:28:52
will help me god loves me i am safe loved and  protected or i choose to be calm and at peace   you can write your own positive power  mantra but basically you are trying to   reassure and nurture yourself just like a  loving parent would have done to help you  
00:29:12
feel calmer and relaxed even if the  adversity is not completely resolved   you can try turning your focus instead of focusing  on the problem turning your attention saying okay   the problem exists but i’m going to shelve it  you know sitting here focusing on the fact that  
00:29:34
my arm’s broken isn’t going to make it heal any  faster so okay my arm’s broken got it i’m gonna   focus on these other things over here that  are that i’m grateful for you can also do   a mindfulness activity and really focus on the  present moment and when you start feeling that  
00:29:53
anxiety or depression creeping back in again  check make sure you’re safe as long as you’re   safe and you’ve done everything you can identify  the positive things that you notice right now with guided imagery you can go to your happy  place and i have a couple different guided imagery  
00:30:16
meditations on the youtube channel but it just  helps you to sort of transport yourself in your   mind to a place where you can completely relax you  can also visualize yourself becoming happy in the   moment imagine okay i’m not feeling great right  now i’m going to visualize what’s the next thing  
00:30:38
i’m going to do to start feeling happier visualize  you know the next 10 15 minutes and see yourself   doing things or see yourself getting happier  some people like to journal about it get it out   on paper and then give it to the universe you  know once it’s there you don’t have to worry  
00:30:58
about forgetting about it you write it down and  you can give it to the universe some people prefer   to give it to god their higher power whomever but  once you get it out then you can put it in a box   and choose to revisit it then you have a choice  about all right i’m going to leave that there  
00:31:20
some people like they feel they need to revisit  it periodically other people once they put it in   that box it’s like okay i’ve done all i can do  i’m going to put it on the shelf for right now   try doing exercise or something cathartic to  redirect that energy and promote the release  
00:31:40
of endorse endorphins cathartic means  using that energy in a way that helps you feel a little bit better for example going out  and taking a ball if you’re angry going out and   taking a ball and throwing it as hard as you can  against the wall playing um a handball basically  
00:32:00
for a little while um exercising can be good  push-ups something is something else that you   can do pretty easily without a lot of equipment  the last suggestion i have is what i call fake   it till you make it and i don’t mean ignore your  feelings completely i don’t mean fail to take care  
00:32:23
of yourself acknowledge accept unconditionally  make sure you’re safe and then choose   remind yourself that as distressful  thoughts arise that you’re safe you know   maybe you’re waiting on test results from the  doctor okay you know you’ve done everything you  
00:32:45
can you went to the doctor you got the test  done now it’s a waiting game and stressing   over those test results is just gonna make you  irritable drain your energy impair your sleep   so okay i’ve done everything i can to deal with  this situation right now when distressful thoughts  
00:33:02
arise i’m gonna remind myself i already done it  i’ve i have already done everything i can i’m safe   and i am going to choose to commit my energy  to other things that are important in my life   in dialectical behavior therapy marsha linehan  talks about um turned up smile and open hands  
00:33:26
just trying to be present in the moment when  we adjust our non-verbals even if we’re all by   ourself when we adjust our non-verbals  it actually can help improve our mood   dysphoric emotions serve a purpose  to motivate you to do something  
00:33:46
to ensure that you’re safe and appreciate  what you have in the present moment   once you’re safe and you’ve done what you can to  improve the next moment to address the situation   actively triggering the relaxation response  can help down regulate your hpa axis  
00:34:04
which can help improve your mood increase  your energy and improve your health all right in terms of questions i’m  looking at what we have going on right here   it’s important to remember when you’re  engaging in towards behaviors if one of  
00:34:39
those is seeking emotional support for someone  from someone you know you want to make sure that   what you’re engaging in is helpful and moving  you toward your goal of a rich and meaningful   life if all you’re doing is commiserating  uh then that’s probably an away behavior  
00:35:01
we can engage with others who are going  to as we say in addiction cosign on our bs   and that’s not helpful so it is important to make  sure that your relationships are pro pro social   and proactive and promoting you  towards your rich and meaningful life  
00:35:23
uh providing support providing validation  providing empathy um and providing   encouragement to take that next step  forward toward what you think is important in terms of sharing this information with  other people not everybody is ready willing  
00:35:51
or able to hear it people have to be at a level  of readiness for change and i have several videos   on the youtube channel that talk about stages of  readiness for change and increasing motivation but   until someone is motivated to start using their  energy nothing that you say to them is probably  
00:36:16
going to land because they don’t want to hear  it they’re not ready or open to any new ideas   and there are a lot of reasons people may be in  what we call the pre-contemplation stage of change   and it’s important to be sensitive to that a lot  of times people are in pre-contemplation either  
00:36:36
because they don’t realize there’s a problem  or because they feel hopeless and powerless   and it’s important to be sensitive to  that that you know maybe they’ve tried   to recover before whether it’s depression  or anxiety or you know pain and it hasn’t  
00:36:57
stuck maybe it helped for a little while but  it didn’t stick and they relapsed and that   can cause people to be hesitant to start trying to  change again so we do want to be sensitive to that   and in that case it may be helpful to enlist  you know a counselor or a spiritual guide to  
00:37:23
help you figure out what direction might be  useful it’s not there’s nothing that i can do   from you know just talking in generalities that  can really help in any individual situation to get somebody to change people are  going to change when they decide  
00:37:44
they’re ready to change all we can do  is hope to bolster their motivation with   motivational interviewing techniques  or motivational enhancement techniques are there any other questions
00:38:06
i really appreciate everybody taking time   out to be with me i know for a lot of you you’re  still on your holiday break so i appreciate you   being here and enjoy having you guys um present  this is part of that ongoing uh six weeks to a  
00:38:24
happier healthier use series so tomorrow  we will be talking about cognitive tools in response to your question about avoiding  people who are going through similar situations   no support systems can be super important but  it is whether you are engaging with people  
00:38:52
who are empathetic and encouraging and supportive  of proactive positive forward movement or you are in the quagmire of a group of people who  are who just want to sit around and complain   uh is you know the non-tactful way to say it  support groups are not created equally but  
00:39:19
some support groups are very helpful and i do  encourage people to find support groups that   do have helpful people in them and not  everybody in a support group may may be helpful   there may be certain people that are more  proactive than others but ultimately it  
00:39:41
comes down to when you interact with this  person do you feel understood validated   supported and empowered or does it just reinforce  your sense of helplessness and powerlessness have a great day everybody and i’ll  see you tomorrow same time same station

00:00:01
Hi everybody and welcome to happiness and brain  surgery with dr dawn elise snipes practical tools to improve   your mood and quality of life today we’re going to  be talking about 21 practical tips to beat anxiety   this is based on a book that i’ve got  coming out in two months it’s in the  
00:00:17
in press right now happiness isn’t brain surgery  100 plus practical tips to beat anxiety so look   for that to be released in june of 2018 so not  too long now we’re going to go over 21 of the tips   that are in that book right now to give you an  idea of some things that you can start doing now  
00:00:39
instead of having to wait till june to deal with  your anxiety so the first one and i’ve talked   about this in different situations is learning the  difference between emotional and factual reasoning   just because you may feel anxious doesn’t mean  that it’s necessarily a threatening or dangerous  
00:00:57
situation when i get ready to go to a social  function i get a little bit butterfly in my   stomach i get a little bit of anxiety i’m not one  to do mixers so i get a little bit of anxiety but   emotional reasoning would mean that i’m thinking  about all the reasons that i need to be scared  
00:01:20
before i go into that situation  factual reasoning is backing up and   thinking factually about the situation i’m going  to this mixer there’s a lot of other people there   many of them probably feel like me um and you  know this is what i’m going to do the facts of  
00:01:37
the matter are that it doesn’t have to be scary  nobody at the mixer is going to try to embarrass   me or humiliate me um any potential perceived  threats are pretty much all in my own head   so it’s important to separate emotional from  factual learn to differentiate what’s actually  
00:01:56
happening happening from what you’re currently  thinking about sometimes you can be going in   and doing something and thinking about the worst  possible scenario thinking that the sky is going   to fall for example and in reality it’s not that  bad when we have a storm come through for example  
00:02:18
last year we had a significant portion of our  fence blown down in a storm that came through   which is kind of a big deal when you’ve got you  know equines and chickens and ducks and everybody   to keep contained and it kind of freaked me out a  little bit so now when we have a storm i can get a  
00:02:38
little bit anxious at first and i need to remember  you know what’s actually happening right now is   it’s a storm it’s no big deal we’ve had hundreds  of them factual and what’s happening now not   what i’m currently thinking about which is what  happened last year so i need to get my head out of  
00:02:54
the past because the past is the past and there’s  no nothing saying that it has to ever occur again   so focusing on what is actually happening now if  you’ve been in a car accident before for example   then you might get stressed out when you’re in  heavy traffic again what is actually happening  
00:03:15
now yes traffic is heavy but you’re safe you’ve  got good distance between you and the people in   front of you you know if you feel the need to  you can get all the way over into the right   lane so you have an exit strategy should you feel  like it’s getting too you know claustrophobic or  
00:03:32
something but that’s what’s happening now you’re  not currently in danger you’re just going with the   flow the third thing you can do is try to prove  yourself wrong show yourself that your thoughts   have no basis in truth so if you’re worried about  you know a rash you’ve got go to the doctor and  
00:03:50
confirm that you aren’t dying of some incurable  disease which is what you may be thinking about   or ask someone how they feel about you if you  don’t know so if you’re wondering if so-and-so   hates you instead of stressing about it ask them  you know prove yourself wrong or right but at  
00:04:08
least you’ll have an answer you’ll have a factual  answer not just an emotion based answer don’t live   in the gray area when answers are available  to you sometimes there aren’t any answers   sometimes you have a gray area but if there are  answers available get them so you can let go of  
00:04:25
that anxiety or deal with it and move on number  four is stop trying to navigate the path while the   hallway is dark you know that old saying that when  one door closes another door opens and the follow   on to that is but those hallways are a [ __ ]  yeah um it’s dark before that other door opens and  
00:04:45
the first one is closed you’re in a dark hallway  that’s okay you know don’t try to make decisions   when the hallway is dark when you can’t see what’s  going on and this is what happens when you’re   upset you kind of get tunnel vision when you get  a lot of adrenaline going through your system you  
00:05:01
get tunnel vision and that can make things dark it  can make it harder to see all of your options so   wait until you’re less upset get in your wise mind  before you make any life-altering decisions you   know you may decide when you’re upset something  bad happens at work you’re anxious about something  
00:05:21
you may decide that you need to go on a walk okay  that’s fine but when you’re anxious and upset   and right in the midst of it it’s not the time  to say well i’m going to quit my job no no the   hallway’s dark you need to be able to look at what  are at least three options that you can consider  
00:05:41
when you are trying to figure out what to do  number five is to unhook from your emotions   instead of saying i am terrified say i am having  the thought that i’m terrified and you may think   to yourself you know whatever you know that’s  just semantics but think about it this way  
00:06:01
if you are a smoker for example or you like  chocolate cake if you think to yourself i have   to have a piece of chocolate cake or i have to  have a cigarette it feels like it has to be done   you know there’s just no question if you say to  yourself i’m having the thought that i have to  
00:06:20
have a piece of chocolate cake or a cigarette  then that thought you can choose to act on   or not act on so it’s separating it and making  it so it’s something that you can put away fire can burn your house down or it can cook your  dinner each night and keep you warm in the winter  
00:06:41
which means it can be bad or it can be good your  mind is the same way will you let it burn you out   and cause you to feel helpless and hopeless  just spinning around with anxiety and what ifs   and oh my goodnesses or will it help you  turn into macgyver and whenever you face  
00:07:00
a challenge or something that makes you anxious  it will help you view that as a challenge and   find creative solutions your mind can  do either one it can keep you spinning   you know i don’t know if you know the younger  people listening may remember sitting spins  
00:07:18
we had those when i was little you sat on this  little disc and you turned and you just spun   around in it in the same place until you got  dizzy and that’s all it did and that’s what   happens when we get stuck with our emotions  we’re on our own little personal sit and spin  
00:07:33
it’s not going to do any any good  except for make us sick to our stomach   now if we take that energy and instead of sitting  and spinning we use it to address the challenge   and view it as a problem that can be solved then  we’re going to make some more forward progress
00:07:54
number seven realize that thoughts can be merely  illusions think about all the things that you’ve   thought about and worried about that have turned  out to be nothing at all you know you got yourself   all in a tizzy over nothing think of all the time  you wasted preparing for outcomes that would never  
00:08:13
happen the what ifs i mean i’m i’ll admit i’m bad  i’m one of those people who usually has not only   a plan b but also a plan c but i stop at plan  c i know people who have planned d e and f and   you know that takes a lot of time and energy to  have all those backup plans so in the future when  
00:08:33
you start to worry ask yourself if what you’re  worried about is factual and probable so if   you’re getting ready to go take an exam um you  know you can worry that you’re going to fail it   but you know that’s a lot of worry and you  can start figuring out what you’re going to  
00:08:51
do if you fail that test which means you’re  probably going to fail the class which means   you can work yourself up into this whole  catastrophic situation or you can say is   it factual is it probable that i’m going to fail  this exam well if you’ve done what you needed to  
00:09:08
probably not when you when people go in to have  their hiv test done there’s typically a lot of   anxiety going in to do that and so people can  get really worried and start coming up with   all these plans of how they’re gonna tell people  and what they’re gonna do if they’re positive and  
00:09:27
what they’re gonna how life will change and all  this kind of stuff and they get their results   back in their negative and they expended amazing  amounts of energy planning for the worst case   scenario so sometimes especially if there’s  an answer to it you know you’re not living  
00:09:44
in the gray area you’re getting ready to get the  answer sometimes you have to be patient and just   have faith that you will be able to handle  whatever the answer is otherwise you could be   going in the completely wrong direction with with  your plans follow it to the end is number eight  
00:10:05
think about whatever you’re worried about then  imagine realistically what will happen and follow   it to its conclusion your boss leaves a message on  your desk that he needs to talk to you on monday   at 9am be in his office well that can be a  little bit intimidating no matter who you are  
00:10:24
if your boss is doing that and then  you’ve got all weekend to worry about it   so imagine realistically what’s going to happen  so think about you know have you been doing your   job have you been a decent employee all right are  things does the business seem to be going well or  
00:10:39
are they laying people off realistically is he  going to call you in individually if he’s going   to do layoffs no so going through all those  things in the in your head you can figure out   with reasonable accuracy what is likely going to  happen um and at least whether the worst thing  
00:11:01
is likely going to happen if you go through those  things and you say yeah i’ve been being a good   employee i’ve been on time i’ve done all these  things the business is doing well you know i   don’t think there’s anything that i could  be in trouble for so i don’t know what he  
00:11:17
wants wish i did but i don’t and then you can  distract yourself for the rest of the weekend   because you follow it to its conclusion if there’s  nothing major that you’ve done wrong then likely   you’re not going to lose your job likely you’re  not going to get demoted none of those awful  
00:11:36
things are going to happen likely you will meet  with him and he’ll say whatever he has to say   and then you’ll go on about your business if you  stick with fact-based probable scenarios you will   often find that the outcome is not that scary you  know if you look over it and you go yeah i’ve been  
00:11:56
late six days out of the last 15 and i haven’t  gotten my work done in a month well then yeah you   probably need to make some plans but at this point  there’s nothing much that you can do to change it   change what whatever he’s got to say so being  aware of what is likely and probable to happen  
00:12:22
remember the average person has over 50 000  thoughts every day heck i had four thoughts   before i even got out of bed this morning i woke  up and i’ve got a foster kitty staying in my room   and my first thought was where’s vicki and then  she was up on my bed and my second thought was  
00:12:39
that’s different she’s you know sitting  on my feet instead of on her pillow   and my third thought was i don’t really want  to get out of bed this morning and you know   just kept going on fifty thousand thoughts  some are happy some are sad some are fearful  
00:12:57
if you were asked how many of your fifty  thousand thoughts you remember today   it’s likely going to be less than a hundred  you know you can remember that you thought   about what to eat for breakfast you can remember  that you decided whether or not to go to the gym  
00:13:11
you know those are thoughts that you can probably  think back and remember but if you really had   to start thinking you know i bet you would be  hard-pressed to come up with more than a hundred so you’re going to have some scary thoughts  that’s okay let them go thoughts are just  
00:13:30
illusions they come in and they go out it’s kind  of like think about clouds if you’ve ever made   cloud pictures cloud pictures um you know you’re  laying on your back you’re watching the clouds and   they morph into something and it’s a dinosaur  or a whale or something and that’s awesome  
00:13:47
and it’s it it’s exciting and then it turns into  something else our thoughts are the same way   you know they don’t have to stay stuck in anxiety   ride the wave is number 10. and we’ve talked  about this one before feelings come peak in  
00:14:04
about 20 minutes and subside just like waves come  in and crest and and go out unless you feed them   if you’re anxious and you start thinking about  all the reasons you need to be anxious and you   start thinking about all the possible worst case  scenarios that could happen or what if in yourself  
00:14:24
you’re going to stay stuck you’re feeding that  anxiety you know imagine if you’ve ever played um   don’t cut the rope the little green monster on  that he’s so cute but imagine feeding him imagine   that to your anxiety monster and every time you  have a catastrophic thought you’re just feeding  
00:14:42
him and giving him energy if you ride the wave  acknowledge that you’re anxious you know but if   your boss leaves that note on your desk you may be  anxious so all weekend periodically you may have   that thought i wonder what my boss wants to talk  to me about you know that’s kind of intimidating  
00:15:00
acknowledge it say that’s that’s  stressful i’m anxious about that   but there’s nothing i can do about it right now  and what can you do to improve the next moment   and focusing on that and dwelling on it  is not going to improve the next moment  
00:15:15
so ride the wave let your feelings come in  acknowledge them go do something distract   yourself you’ll check in a few minutes later  and you’ll go what you’ll probably say you   know what i don’t feel as stressed out right now  you know it’s that feeling’s starting to go away  
00:15:33
now some feelings like grief can linger for a  while you know i’m not saying that all feelings   are going to come in and go out but anxiety  is one of those that if we start looking at   the positive if we start looking at the facts  if we start really evaluating the situation  
00:15:51
instead of using emotion-based reasoning and  worst case scenarios our anxiety can go away don’t swat the bee and this is another one that  i’ve talked about in some of the other podcasts   our urges are what happen when we have a feeling  and we want it to go away when you have that  
00:16:13
feeling of anxiety you want to make it stop it’s  unpleasant it’s like when a bee lands on your arm   you want it to go away because you’re afraid  it’s gonna sting you and that’s gonna hurt   so you wanna your urge is to swat at it to  get it to get off of you well if you swat  
00:16:30
at it you’re increasing the likelihood that it’s  going to sting you most of the time it won’t so   just like you let the bee fly off on his own and  everybody’s happy when you have anxiety don’t act   impulsively don’t do the first thing that comes  to mind to make the anxiety stop because a lot  
00:16:52
of times that’s not going to be your best choice  let yourself get rid of some of the adrenaline   get into your wise mind think of three options  for how to handle this situation and then choose   from there by the time you do all that stuff the  adrenaline is gone down but until you can think of  
00:17:11
three potential options or scenarios  then you’re still in that adrenaline haze   embrace the dialectics as number 12. try to figure  out how two seemingly contradictory things can   be true such as this relationship i’m in may end  you know it can’t some people get really anxious  
00:17:33
that they’re going to be abandoned or that  a relationship’s going to end and it may   end but you can also be okay you know and both of  those things can be true it’s hard to imagine but   both of them can be true somebody could be  anxious that they’re going to lose their job  
00:17:51
and you know because there are a bunch of  layoffs happening at the company so they   could start having a lot of stress about that  but remembering that they could still lose their   job but it doesn’t mean they’ll lose their family  they’ll still have their family they’ll still have  
00:18:05
other things that are important to them so  remembering and embracing the dialectics   there are going to be some bad things but those  bad things will be balanced by good things and   can even create opportunities if you lose your job  maybe you’ll be in a better one that’s more secure  
00:18:26
look for opportunity in the angst worry tells you  that something might need to change if you’re in a   relationship and you’re worried that it’s going to  end that tells me that there’s something going on   either it’s an unhealthy relationship or the  communication is poor or you’ve got some stuff  
00:18:45
that you need to deal with something is going  on that’s making you feel either unlovable or   feel like the relationship is going to end so  that’s what worry tells you okay well that’s fine   thank you for alerting me to the fact that  something might need to change mr worry monster  
00:19:04
now what’s the opportunity how can i embrace this  and say what can i do to improve this situation   opportunities make up the majority of the iceberg  that is in in the reality you don’t yet know and   can’t yet see so if you’re in this relationship  and it ends you know that’s the tip of the iceberg  
00:19:26
and that’s the thing you don’t really want to  know about and you don’t really want to see and   that’s the awful thing the elephant in the middle  of the room so to speak but underneath the water   the bottom of that iceberg is much much bigger  and it’s all the opportunities that wait for you  
00:19:42
now that you’re not in that relationship so  how can this be an opportunity for you to grow   to meet someone new to explore something to  maybe get a job somewhere else and move to   a different state start over again who knows what  are the opportunities number 14 is to change your  
00:20:03
objective the goal shouldn’t be to feel good all  the time nobody’s going to feel good all the time   the goal is to be able to express a healthy range  of emotion without suppressing it or suffering   you know if you don’t have any days when  you’re sad that mean likely means you don’t  
00:20:22
have anything that’s important to you that you’ve  lost and you know things that are important to us   we occasionally lose we lose pets we lose you  know whatever relationships we lose people   people die we lose jobs we lose hopes we lose  dreams we lose things and when we lose those  
00:20:44
things we’re going to feel sad that’s your  brain’s way of saying that was important   we’re gonna miss that okay you know so acknowledge  it experience it and improve the next moment   you don’t have to feel good all the time matter  of fact if you felt good all the time it wouldn’t  
00:21:01
be that rewarding you’d just be like yeah this  is normal now if you have occasional sad days   and occasionally get a little bit irritable then  when you feel happy you’re like oh i like this   we’ll we’ll do this for quite a while so you feel  a difference and you feel that depth of emotion  
00:21:20
remember yin and yang and if you look at it  you have the circle and then the little you   know apostrophe looking things that are together  but in each one there’s a little bit of the other   in yin there’s a little bit of yang and in  yang there’s a little bit of yin you can’t have  
00:21:37
pure happiness you know there’s always going to  be a little bit of stuff that’s not going quite   right or not exactly the way you want but it  doesn’t mean you can’t be the majority of happy   when there’s unpleasantness and it  can feel like there’s a lot of it  
00:21:53
but if you look in that unpleasantness  there’s going to be a little bit of happiness   a little bit of opportunity a little  bit of something to be grateful for   so it’s embracing the depth and quality of those  emotions recognizing that okay anxiety is is on  
00:22:12
kind of on the dark side how can we turn this  into an opportunity to learn and to grow and   express the full range of emotions develop  hardiness commitment control and challenge   heartiness means that you understand that there  are dozens of things that make your life rich and  
00:22:32
meaningful and you’re committed to those things  now occasionally one of those is going to go wonky   and you’re gonna have to deal with it but  while you’re dealing with that wonky thing   the other 11 things or more in your life that make  it rich and meaningful and that you’re committed  
00:22:50
to they’re still going well so for example if  work starts to go a little bit haywire and you’re   unhappy at your job all right you got to deal with  that but it’s allowing you to put a roof over your   head and you you like your house it’s allowing  you to put food on the table and feed your family  
00:23:09
you’ll love your family they’re really important  so your commitment to all those things makes life   worth living even though this thing over  here not going so well right now control   is the second part of it once you’re looking  at all those things that you’re committed to  
00:23:27
most of them you don’t have a hundred percent  control over that’s just life so focusing only   on the things that you have control over if you  try to change things you don’t have control over   you’re going to make yourself depressed  anxious upset irritable so don’t do it  
00:23:46
ask yourself is this something i actually  can control we can’t control other people we   can’t control other people’s reactions we can  control what we do you know the person who is   worried that he’s going to get laid off or  fired you know they he can’t control whether  
00:24:04
the business is doing well he can’t control what  his colleagues are doing all he can control is   whether he goes to work gets there on time  and does his job that part is in his control um irrational thoughts it’s important  to think about irrational thoughts as  
00:24:27
something your brain is telling you that’s kind  of extreme like i must be loved by everybody all   the time or the world is going to end oftentimes  irrational thoughts are products of traumas that   you’ve yet to fully acknowledge or deal with  so if you grew up in a chaotic home environment  
00:24:48
and you have a lot of anxiety about  relationships ending and people abandoning you   you may have some irrational thoughts that  are telling you that you’re not lovable or   you’re going to be abandoned that stem from that  childhood trauma so when you start getting anxious  
00:25:06
you need to ask yourself what am i  afraid of and why am i afraid of it   what is this really a threat right now so what  am i afraid of this relationship ending why   am i afraid of it because i don’t want to be  abandoned um is this really a threat right now  
00:25:27
when you’re six fearing that a parent is going  to abandon you is threatening when you are 26   fearing that a relationship is going to end  you know it’s unpleasant but you can still   feed yourself you can meet new people you can  go go on about your life so it’s likely not as
00:25:48
imperative that you maintain that relationship  so you know think about when you start getting   anxious is this a reaction caused by something  in my past or is this a reaction to something   that’s going on now except the fact that everyone  everywhere has weird incorrect disturbing thoughts  
00:26:13
that have no bearing on reality we all have  catastrophic thoughts sometimes you’re not a freak   you’re probably not sick you just have to  learn to not be intimidated by your own mind   your mind takes in information but ironically  it’s really not that smart so we have to help  
00:26:33
it interpret that information if i hear a loud  noise outside you know it may sound like a gunshot   but it could be a car back firing so initially  i’ll have a startle reaction because it was a   loud noise and i think oh my gosh you know  there’s a gunshot and then reality sets in  
00:26:52
and i go no i’m in downtown you know there’s  parking lot outside it was probably a car back   firing so making sure that you check yourself and  check your thoughts to make sure that you’re not   just making a catastrophe when you  completely misinterpret this situation  
00:27:15
stop gauging how bad things are by how much you  panic the more you panic the more you panic so   if you get nervous about going to the doctor  and think oh this must be really bad because   i’m really stressed out then you’re going to get  yourself even more stressed out because your heart  
00:27:32
rate’s going to go up and your breathing is going  to go faster which is going to cause your body to   release more stress chemicals so you’re going to  feel worse so don’t assume that because you feel   really bad really anxious that it’s really that  bad you could have got talked yourself into it  
00:27:53
so instead of gauging how bad  things are by how much you panic   remember to gauge things how bad things are based  on facts for it being a catastrophe and against it   being a catastrophe what are the actual facts  in the situation identify your comfort zones  
00:28:12
and step back into them now and again you  didn’t think i’d ever say that did you   a lot of times i’m saying step out of your  comfort zone well it can be anxiety provoking   moving past the place that you’re comfortable  with out of your comfort zone is a gradual process  
00:28:28
going too quickly is a recipe for stress so when  we take students and i just did a class today on   helping students transition from high school to  college that is a huge jump from one comfort zone   to a discomfort zone so to speak because students  just aren’t used to living on their own and have  
00:28:48
being away from mom and dad and all those  different things so it causes a lot of stress   in college freshmen but the same thing is  true if it’s a new job or whatever it is   go in slowly you know dip your toe in see  how it feels just like when you’re getting  
00:29:07
into a cold pool well at least me i don’t do  a cannonball into the pool i put my toe in   let my feet get used to it then let my calves  get used to it and i ease myself in so it isn’t   quite as much of a shock to my system and  it doesn’t cause me as as much discomfort  
00:29:28
but you can practice and this is  number 20 practice healthy discomfort   this means lean into your stress don’t resist it  acknowledge that you’re anxious and go okay this   means i’m getting outside my comfort zone  which means i’m growing and that’s awesome  
00:29:43
means this is a challenge and that’s a little  intimidating but it’s also exciting accept how   you feel and remember you can tolerate it  think back to times in the past when you’ve   been anxious and you’ve worked through a  situation it wasn’t the end of the world  
00:29:59
think about times in the past when you’ve  been anxious and ways you’ve coped with it   you know i’m not asking you to lean into it and  do it all by yourself you know call on those past   strengths and tools that you’ve used to deal  with the anxiety instead of running from it  
00:30:15
finally practice radical acceptance learn  to acknowledge the parts of your story you’d   rather ignore forget or not admit so choose  to love your home your body and your work   instead of saying you know i am fat ugly and  useless and being upset or saying everybody’s  
00:30:36
going to abandon me because i’m not lovable um you  know let’s practice radical acceptance you are who   you are and you can choose to hate yourself or you  can choose to love yourself you can choose to hate   where you live and be miserable about it and go  around like oscar the grouch or you can choose to  
00:30:57
love where you live and make it a home and  decide to change whatever you think needs to be   changed choose to build your life from a place of  gratitude and vision you know maybe you don’t love   everything about yourself right now that’s okay  that means you’ve got room for growth so embrace  
00:31:15
yourself love yourself as a human being and  say okay now there are things i need to work on   and use that vision to figure out where you want  to go from here because you’ve got a long way to   go on your life journey life’s journey when  you build your life from gratitude and vision  
00:31:35
then you’re using your energy to grow and move  forward instead of run from your own fears so remember anxiety is your body’s response to  what it thinks might be a threat it’s like that   faulty fire alarm that goes off it’s trying to  warn you but in reality there’s nothing to be  
00:31:57
warned about there are many ways to address  your anxiety including getting good nutrition   avoiding too many stimulants getting plenty of  sleep so you’re not exhausted and over tired   exercise which releases serotonin get social  support you know reach out to those friends  
00:32:15
and change your perspective so instead  of looking at the worst possible scenario   you’re saying what’s the best thing that could  happen or how have i handled similar situations   before because i can do this and add some  happiness to your life you know you really  
00:32:33
can’t just eliminate anxiety or just  eliminate depression if you eliminate   it then there’s nothing you need to  add some happiness to take its place   and that will help you start addressing your  anxiety if you like this podcast please subscribe