I miss you and you’re not gone, my friend why you have to go? You will stay forever in my heart. What can I say other than I love you? The joy I feel is in the blessings that you brought to me and my family by being a great friend. Always there to jump to my aid, never asking for much in return. My friend is always up for a good time, taking everyone around her along for the ride. Our good times outnumber the bad. Know deep in your heart that I love you too and if I could fix it I would. I am scared, angry, and confused. Why you? Why now? My friend, I miss you already and you’re not going. I know that you are fighting to stay and I love that…wouldn’t have it any other way. I got your back and a shoulder to rest on. Let me wipe your tears away, as we laugh about the day. You are my friend I love you.
I wrote this for you Lee Ann my friend I hope you get to hear it, I wrote from my heart.
Diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumor my closest friend may not have too much time left that she will know who I am. I am a fixer, and there is nothing that I can do to make her better. The questions I have might help me understand how this could happen and how fast it has taken its toll on everyone in our close circle of love.
These are my questions about brain tumors:
- What are Brain tumors?
- What are the Symptoms?
- What next when dealing with brain cancer?
- How much time?
- How could we have missed them?
Here’s what I found:
A brain tumor is an abnormal cell mass that grows in or on the brain. They are either a primary tumor (a tumor that begins in the brain) or metastatic tumors ( form from cancer already in the body and travels to the brain.) Some are cancer and some are not. 194,000 Americans are diagnosed with some type of brain tumor every year. 44,000 are primary tumors. Many are undiagnosed until they become life-threatening.
Symptoms are sometimes overlooked, headaches may come and go, the appetite may be decreased, temporary memory loss, nausea, constipation, diarrhea, hot flashes and sweats, fatigue, sleeplessness, and depression. Most common are headaches and seizures. The location of the brain in which the tumor develops can cause different symptoms. This site gives you the symptoms for the area that the tumor is located. Very helpful in empowering you with understanding what to do next and how to deal with this chapter in your life.
So many of the symptoms my friend has are the same as menstruation or menopause in women. Having symptoms that come and go may not raise any red flags. Many people go undiagnosed until it is found by accident or like my friend who’s symptoms mirror the symptoms of menopause. When she finally could not avoid her family telling her, it’s time to find out what is going on with your health. A trip to the doctors didn’t help they even missed the red flags and discounted it because of the clarity of her mind and how she could articulate how she was feeling when she would visit. She is at the age most women go through the change. Her daughter forced her to go to the Emergency Room and after a ct scan, she was diagnosed.
The treatments are different for each type of tumor. Your age and physical condition may affect the type of treatment recommended. When diagnosed you may want a second opinion and is recommended for anyone that may be going through denial or is seeking treatments at another facility. A neurologist does not have to see you give his option or help with your treatments. Insurance is a big determining factor in health care and you may need to get a second opinion before starting treatment. Make sure you ask questions you have about the best, worst, and everything from what next and how to cope with this diagnosis.
The steps are MRI, brain biopsy, and treatment. Surgery may be recommended along with chemo and radiation. Each treatment is customized for each person.
I am hopeful that it is not as bad. It is bad and I am having such a hard time dealing with the diagnosis. So I started to find all that I could about brain tumors and I am amazed and still fill with hope. The doctors deal every day with patients who are willing to answer all questions. Doctors are straightforward and want to work with anyone seeking treatment. Our doctors are there to advise us and help us make decisions on how to proceed.
Time is the one thing that we are not getting more of making the most of it. Physicians that work with brain tumor patients try to give you the best chance of quality time. The treatments are getting better enabling you to recover faster.
Asks anything and write down or record the answers so you are fully aware of the choices you have to make. Denial, depression, anger, forgetfulness, and the feeling of loss are common for those who have a brain tumor or their family and close friends.
Questions you and your family may have.
- What are the effects of a brain tumor?
- What causes a brain tumor?
- How fast do they develop?
- How can I fight this?
- Is it worth the fight?
You can find the symptoms just go to the
American Brain Tumor Association (ABTA.org) while there you can educate yourself on treatments as well.
I love my friend and I want her last months or years to be well informed on the treatments and the side effects. To have the quality of life that is pain free and will bring her joy. I am here for her family and wish I lived closer so I could help with her fight, yes her fight to regain the time she has left. To ease her mind that she is truly loved and to wrap my arms around her again for she is one of my favorite people I love her.
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Unless the Lord had been my help, I would soon have dwelt in silence. When I said, My foot is slipping, Your mercy and loving-kindness,O Lord, held me up. In the multitude of my thoughts within me, Your comforts cheer and delight my soul! PSALM 94: 17-19
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