Dating With Anxiety: 8 Struggles

 (lively music) (dinging) – [Narrator] Hi, Psych2Goers and welcome back to another video. Thank you so much for all the love and support you’ve given us, enabling us to venture further into everyday psychology. So let’s begin. Awkward silences, clumsy stumbles, and even mistaken names. Sound familiar? They’re all part of dating, whether you have anxiety or not. The true difference comes before and after the hiccup. Did you spend all day practicing what you would say? Are you going to come back to this small moment in time again and again when you think about dating? When you’re struggling with anxiety, it can be incredibly frustrating to have an extra obstacle to navigate when you’re trying to focus on finding love but you’re not alone. There are countless resources available both on and offline to help you learn, find support and cope with anxiety. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone who can relate. Before we begin, please remember Psych2Go is not a medical professional and these videos should not be used in place of a diagnosis. With that said, here are eight dating struggles people with anxiety face. One, thoughts turn into obsessions so quickly. Have you ever been so preoccupied with dating that it feels like you run into couples wherever you look? It turns out there’s a science behind this phenomenon. Karen McDowell Ph.D. told Healthline that anxiety stems from the way we think so, she began, “If you fear that you’re unlovable, that your date will not like you or that you will do or say something awkward, your brain will go into overdrive, trying to confirm its suspicions.” Two, your fears try to end things before they even begin. Self-sabotage can sound as subtle as I can’t ask her out. She’s way out of my league. If you’ve given up on something before you’ve even tried, stop. The anxious thoughts that make you hesitate are to protect you from potential region or embarrassment. But by avoiding dating altogether, you’re guarding yourself against opportunities and connection too. Three, what are you supposed to say? Does your mind race through what-ifs during introductions? Do you rehearse your hello for the 100th time until it sounds just right? Even though this can be an awkward moment to navigate for even those who don’t struggle with anxiety, meeting someone new can often be a trigger for anxious individuals. They might lose their train of thought altogether. What does a person even say to someone they’ve just met? Four, you can’t stay present when you’re together. Do you find yourself ruminating in the past or worrying about the future? Time travel might be a cool concept in science fiction movies but when you’re trying to have a rom-com moment, it just doesn’t click. Connecting with someone requires you to be in the moment and attentive to the other person but this can be difficult when your brain is swirling with input. If you can relate to this, don’t be too hard on yourself because there’s a reason your mind wants to do it. Five, spending a night out means spending a night stressed out. Leaving home makes a lot of people anxious. But for some, this can severely impact their social life. Mayo Clinic defines agoraphobia as a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless, or embarrassed. While this fear of stressful situations might keep you indoors and isolated, you are not alone. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, over 40 million people suffer from some type of anxiety disorder in the US alone. So you’re bound to find someone who’d be excited to spend a night with you. Six, anxiety’s physical symptoms can ruin a date night. Fewer things could ruin date night faster than an anxious thought, which spirals out of control. If you experience physical symptoms of anxiety, such as dizziness, heart palpitations, or sweating, you know just how real the struggle can be.These symptoms come on fast and can be extremely debilitating. Think of something along the lines of stomach trouble on a first date. As embarrassing as it can be in the moment, remember that everyone has times when their body and even their mind turn against them. Seven, you always assume things won’t end well. Are you a glass-half-empty kind of person? Has it become only too easy for you to find the worst-case the scenario in any situation? When anxious and intrusive thoughts have been around for a long time, they begin to become so habitual that they’re automatic. It’s easy to imagine relationships crumbling to pieces or first dates ending so badly you’ll never show your face again. But if you’re able to give it time and lots of practice, imagining second dates and a happy love life may not be so hard either. Eight, it’s hard to get to know someone when communication is so scary. One of the most frustrating things about anxiety is that it stops you from pursuing things you want deep down. Even though what you want is to connect with them, you still may seem nervous or even fearful around the person you’re interested in. In some cases, anxiety can stop you from expressing your feelings or communicating with anyone at all, which makes the frustration grow further. Do any of these apply to you? Leave a comment down below about your experiences. Also, know that you’re not alone in this contradictory struggle and there are so many understanding people in the world who want to know you, support you and maybe even go out with you. We hope we were able to give you a little insight into the inner workings of an anxious mind during dating. If you find this video helpful, be sure to hit the Like and Subscribe button and share it with those out there juggling anxiety in dating. Thanks for watching and we’ll see you in the next video.As found on YouTubeShow me the simple steps to overcome shyness & cure social anxiety ➫ The Shyness and Social Anxiety System was created by Sean Cooper, a former social anxiety sufferer. Learn how to overcome your quietness, erase your insecurities and be confident around people using proven psychology.