RESPONDING TO HATE COMMENTS #2

Responding to more of your lovely hate comments!Check out my merch! :3 http://www.districtlines.com/eugenia-cooneySubscribe to see more videos! 😀http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=eugeniacooneyTwitter http://www.eugenia_cooney Instagram http://www.instagram.com/eugeniacooney Snapchat eugeniac Pinyata Eugenia Cooney Facebook http://www.facebook.com/eugenia.cooneyPO Box if you wanna send me anything! :3PO Box 172 Armonk, NY 10504-9998Royalty free music by Destery Smith from http://sovndwave.com/a/f96270

Reading Your Assumptions About Me…

Hi guys! I decided to do a video reading and responding to your assumptions about me. A lot were really nice, and others not so much. Haha but thank you to guys who sent me your assumptions and here is the truth about them!! I hope you enjoy the video!SUBSCRIBE for new videos! http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=eugeniacooneyMYSOCIAL MEDIA:Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/eugeniacooney Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Eugenia_Cooney Snapchat: eugeniac Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/eugeniacooneyy Twitch: http://www.twitch.tv/eugeniacooney Discord: https://discord.gg/eugeniacooneyEmail: eugeniascooney@gmail.comBackground music is About You by NoCopyrightSounds:

How to Live Longer, Long Beach CA, 2012 Dr. Delgado

Dr. Nick Delgado teaches you How to Live Longer from Long Beach, California Health Freedom Expo 2012

The History of Mr. Polly Audiobook by H. G. Wells | Audiobook with subtitles

https://youtube.com/watch?v=TllJUxJ4bJs

A funny and touching account of the imaginative Mr. Polly who, bored and trapped in his conventional life, makes a U-turn –- and changes everything.H.G. Wells’ early life as the son of a semi-insolvent shopkeeper and as a draper’s apprentice fueled his novels of the lower middle class: The Wheels of Chance (1896), Kipps (1905), and The History of Mr. Polly (1910). These works evoke the desperation of apprentices, clerks, and small traders in their monotonous toil behind shop counters. And, like Mr. Polly, his protagonists make a break from their mundane lives with more or less success.H. G. Wells (1866-1946) was a prolific writer in history, general and science fiction, and politics. He was a lifelong socialist. (Summary by Adrian Praetzellis) The History of Mr. Polly H. G. WELLSOur Custom URL : https://www.youtube.com/c/AudiobookAudiobooks Subscribe To Our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/AudiobookAudiobooks?sub_confirmation=1 —————————————————————————————————– Audio Book Audiobooks All Rights Reserved. This is a Librivox recording. All Librivox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer visit librivox.org.

STRESS PATTERNS (1/3) – English Pronunciation

PART ONE of a lesson in THREE parts. Topic: Stress in phrases and sentences. Develop your awareness of rhythm in English speech. Learn to stress words correctly and naturally. Levels: intermediate to advanced.

Self Care DAY IN MY LIFE | how i reduce my stress & overwhelm

How I Reduce My Stress & Anxiety // SELF CARE Day In | cooking & preparing for thanksgiving, taking off work, yoga, & shaving my face | For a limited time, you can get 3 months of Audible for just $6.95 a month. That’s more than half off the regular price. Choose 1 audiobook and 2 Audible Originals absolutely free. Visit https://www.audible.com/reneea or text reneea to 500-500 |**OUR SPONSOR** Audible: https://www.audible.com/reneea or text reneea to 500-500SELF CARE // Feals CBD Oil: https://feals.com Dermablading Facial Razor: https://amzn.to/2XNjw6B Dead Sea Mud Mask: https://amzn.to/2OaEOHL Tanning Drops: https://go.magik.ly/ml/rgw4/ Body Lotion: https://amzn.to/2pMzYHCSHOWER ROUTINE // Hair Care Routine | Purple Shampoo: https://go.magik.ly/ml/s2nt/ Daily Shampoo: https://go.magik.ly/ml/s2no/ Daily Conditioner: https://go.magik.ly/ml/s2nl/ Body Wash: https://go.magik.ly/ml/s2ny/ Daily Face Wash: https://go.magik.ly/ml/s2nv/ Himalayan Body Scrub: https://amzn.to/35oXuJH Bubblebath: https://amzn.to/349IS0MWHAT I’M WEARING // Striped Sweater: https://go.magik.ly/ml/rabf/ Earrings: https://www.bryananthonys.com/products/reach-for-the-stars-dainty-stud-earrings?variant=12242756272209 Ring: https://amzn.to/36Pry2H Workout Top: https://go.magik.ly/ml/s2mo/♡ Shop My Closet: https://poshmark.com/closet/reneeamberg♡ More Vlogs: https://goo.gl/w8Ec94♡ More of My Routine Videos:
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35 Books That Will Teach You A Damn Thing About Your Food

Spoiler Alert: No cookbooks.

Dan Meth / BuzzFeed

1. For anyone who’s ever eaten at McDonald’s: Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Kodiak Greenwood / AP Images

 

If you read anything on this list, make it this. Though published 14 years ago, Fast Food Nation is no less relevant today, giving voice to the hardworking men and women behind the millions of nuggets, patties, pies, and fries that we continue to so mindlessly consume.

2. For anyone who’s ever eaten emotionally: Born Round by Frank Bruni

Penguin

Yanina Manolova / AP Images

 

Like many of us, Frank Bruni has long struggled with his weight. But what happens when the former chief restaurant reviewer for the New York Times turns a critic’s eye on his own eating habits? Born Round is equal parts heartbreaking and funny, a four-star read.

3. For anyone who’s wondered: Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It by Gary Taubes

 

Science writer Gary Taubes brings his degrees in physics, aerospace engineering, and journalism to the human body to explain how weight is more likely the product of our anatomy than our appetites.

4. For anyone who’s been on Atkins or just really likes butter: The Big Fat Surprise by Nina Teicholz

Simon & Schuster

 

Atkins may have been right all along. According to Nina Teicholz’s research, the low-fat frenzy of the past half-century was based on bogus — if well-meaning — science. How this became federal policy and shaped generations of American dieting is a deeply compelling cautionary tale.

5. For anyone who still hasn’t read Kitchen Confidential: Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain

HarperCollins

Peter Kramer / KRAPE / AP

 

Even 15 years later, Bourdain’s remains the preeminent curtain-pull among epicurean exposés. Somehow, his down-and-dirty account of the madmen and -women behind haute cuisine doesn’t detract from our enjoyment of the food. In fact, it might just make us enjoy it more.

6. For anyone who wishes Kitchen Confidential had been compressed into 24 hours: Sous Chef by Michael Gibney

 

Gibney takes two bold turns in this remarkable debut: 1) He limits himself to just 24 hours, and 2) he pivots to present it all in the second person. The result is an extra-urgent, in-the-trenches tumble through a day in the life on the line.

7. For anyone who liked Kitchen Confidential but wanted more sex and drugs: The Devil in the Kitchen by Marco Pierre White

 

Perhaps the least polished and most profane of this list’s memoirs, White’s The Devil In The Kitchen is still a rollicking wild ride. Think Gordon Ramsey but more pissed off.

8. For anyone who dreads grocery shopping, or just wants help doing it: What to Eat by Marion Nestle

 

You know not to grocery shop when hungry, but do you know what to look for — and avoid — in each aisle? Marion Nestle’s blow-by-blow guide to supermarket shopping is a godsend: a delight to read and easy to reference on the fly.

9. For anyone who wants to know why they hate tomatoes: Tomatoland by Barry Estabrook

 

Not all tomatoes are as bad as the ones you find in the supermarket. Estabrook tells us why and introduces us to the farmers — from Florida to Peru — who have worked to bring us the Big (bland) Red.

10. For anyone looking for a laugh with their Big Mac: Food: A Love Story by Jim Gaffigan

Random House

Nigel Parry via Random House

 

Gaffigan brings his trademark wit to our cultural cravings, waxing poetic on everything from Hot Pockets to Cinnabon. Food: A Love Story is written for the everyman — the hungry man — who remains suspicious of kale and enamored with bacon.

11. For anyone who thought Eat, Pray, Love was overrated and really just wanted Julia Roberts to open a kick-ass restaurant in New York: Blood, Bones & Butter by Gabrielle Hamilton

Random House

Sergi Alexander / Getty

 

By far the best-written chef’s memoir on this list, Blood, Bones & Butter is clearly the work of a pro. And it makes sense, seeing as Hamilton holds an MFA in fiction writing from the University of Michigan, in addition to her stints as a dishwasher, underage bartender, world traveler, and catering director. If you’re ever in New York, her tiny restaurant, Prune, is worth a visit.

(Bonus good/bad news: The book has allegedly been optioned for a film adaptation, with Gwyneth Paltrow attached to play Hamilton.)

12. For anyone considering culinary school: The Making of a Chef by Michael Ruhlman

 

Don’t let all these raucous, debauched restaurant memoirs fool you — being a chef takes hard work. Ruhlman’s detailed look inside the Harvard of U.S. culinary schools is proof.

13. For anyone who likes to learn (and fail) on the fly: Heat by Bill Buford

Random House

Bebeto Matthews / AP Images

 

If school’s just not your thing, you might identify more closely with Buford’s approach to the culinary arts. Bypassing any formal training — or even former restaurant experience — Buford jumped from his job at The New Yorker to the kitchen of Mario Batali’s famed restaurant, Babbo. His resulting education is hectic, hard-won, and hilarious.

14. For anyone currently watching Fresh Off the Boat: Fresh Off the Boat by Eddie Huang

Random House

Richard Shotwell / Invision / AP

 

You might not recognize all of Huang’s many punchy pop culture references, but that doesn’t make Fresh Off the Boat any less fun. Whether discussing Asian-American stereotypes or soup dumplings in Taiwan, Huang writes with delightful verve. It’s easy to see why this book translates so seamlessly to the screen.

15. For anyone who wants to know where these truly upsetting retro recipes came from: Something From the Oven by Laura Shapiro

 

Shapiro roves from the origins of Betty Crocker to the miracle of canned bread, showing how mid-century feminism and postwar technology united to produce bizarre foodie fads unlike any we’ve seen since.

16. For anyone wondering why Lunchables are still a thing: Salt Sugar Fat by Michael Moss

 

Investigative reporter Michael Moss reveals how big brands like Kraft, Coca-Cola, Lunchables, Kellogg, Nestlé, Capri Sun, Cargill, and Oreo have engineered our addiction to their products. His in-depth look at the strange science behind processed food is at once fascinating and terrifying.

17. For anyone who really really likes corn: The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan

Penguin

Fran Collin / MichaelPollan.com

 

Michael Pollan is the king of contemporary food writing, swirling together history, science, and sociology with surprising élan. The Omnivore’s Dilemma is essential reading for anyone trying to grasp the full scope of food in America, which, it turns out, is mostly made of corn.

18. For anyone who really likes Michael Pollan: Cooked by Michael Pollan

Penguin

Marty Lederhandler / AP

 

Seriously, this guy can write. In Cooked, Pollan invites us to learn alongside him as he masters the art of preparing food with the four classical elements — fire, water, air, and earth. So if you’ve ever consumed barbecue, bread, beer, or bourguignon and wondered how it all came to be, this book is for you.

19. For anyone with a casual Ph.D. in chemistry: On Food and Cooking by Harold McGee

Simon & Schuster

 

This is the brainier version of Cooked, with a legitimate “Chemistry Primer” appendix on molecular reactions and the like. But phases of matter aside, On Food and Cooking is a veritable kitchen bible, with how-to and tell-me-why chapters on everything from “The Problem of Legumes and Flatulence” to “Why Pain Can Be Pleasurable.”

20. For anyone who wants to drool: The Art of Eating by M.F.K. Fisher

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Richard Drew / AP

 

M.F.K. Fisher is the writer you probably haven’t heard of but definitely should know. Whether she’s describing a tiny restaurant in the French countryside or how to properly savor a tangerine — even how to boil water — Fisher’s words practically drip from the page. The Art of Eating represents her collected works, a transcontinental record of how to best enjoy the simple pleasures of a meal.

Proof of her beautiful prose, and inspiration for any aspiring food writers out there: “It seems to me that our three basic needs, for food and security and love, are so mixed and mingled and entwined that we cannot straightly think of one without the others. So it happens that when I write of hunger, I am really writing about love and the hunger for it, and warmth and the love of it and hunger for it … and then the warmth and richness and fine reality of hunger satisfied … and it is all one.”

21. For anyone contemplating going gluten-free: Grain Brain by David Perlmutter

Little, Brown & Company

 

Definitely a pro-gluten-free screed, Grain Brain presents the science on the side of our most recent de rigueur diet. Great for those with celiac disease and gluten intolerance, and maybe better taken with a grain of salt by the rest of us.

For a more even-handed look at Big Bad Gluten, try Michael Specter’s piece in The New Yorker.

22. For anyone who salts their watermelon: Salt: A World History by Mark Kurlansky

Penguin

Sylvia Plachs via markkurlansky.com

 

Another “wait till you hear where your _____ comes from” book, but somehow Kurlansky manages to make salt — yes, salt — a compelling protagonist. Who knew that this familiar, meek little mineral could have been the impetus for so many revolutions, conquests, and wars?

23. For anyone who wants to know what it really means to “live off the land”: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver

HarperCollins

David Wood via barbarakingsolver.com

 

Having heard the virtues of Locavore and Slow Food diets endlessly extolled, Barbara Kingsolver decided to give it a try. Her whole-hog endeavor — transplanting her family from Tucson, Arizona, to rural Virginia, where they only consumed produce that they’d personally planted or raised — is drastic, but ultimately rewarding. She shows us how to reconnect with the land and ourselves, thinking mindfully about what we eat and how it’s made.

24. For anyone who really identified with the critic in Ratatouille: Garlic and Sapphires by Ruth Reichl

Penguin

Brigitte Lacombe via Gourmet

 

How do restaurants actually earn their stars? Go undercover with renowned New York Times food critic Ruth Reichl to see how egos, infighting, anonymity, and authenticity co-mingle to determine the fates of restaurateurs and their reviewers.

25. For anyone wondering where the phrase “You are what you eat” comes from: The Physiology of Taste by Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

How I Learned To Be OK With Feeling Sad

It wasn’t easy, or cheap.

Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

The first time I didn’t feel sad about feeling sad was on Sept. 17, 2013. I was in my therapist’s office. More specifically, I was lying on a table, faceup, in my therapist’s office. Maybe it sounds simple, but it was a trick I’d spent years practicing and trying to learn.

I do not mean that I take sadness lightly. Four and a half years ago, after a work-related immersion in sexual violence, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. Subsequently, I was diagnosed with comorbid major depressive disorder. Comorbid to all that, I was diagnosed as alcoholic and suicidal. More than $20,000 worth of treatment later, I am no longer those things, but, as an evaluating psychiatrist put it in a report last year, I have “chronic,” “recurring,” “residual psychiatric symptoms” serious enough that she ruled me permanently disabled. I’ve been an emotional gal since always — “She has a lot of feelings,” my best grad-school friend would chuckle by way of explanation when I got worked up about some topic or other in front of strangers — and my emotions now are enormous. Frustration over a failed attempt to buy a sold-out rug online ends in so much yelling and foot-stomping that my neighbors complain. The intensity of a pop song lands like a blunt punch to my chest and explodes any grief nestling there; the very day I’m writing this, Nicki Minaj made me cry in my car.

Sincerely: I do not take sadness lightly. But after a lot of retraining, I do take it wholly, life-alteringly differently than I was raised to, and than almost anyone else I know. Now, sometimes when I’m not sad and I think about sadness, that thought is accompanied by this startling one: I miss it.

Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

Pre-therapy, this is the only thing I was ever taught, implicitly and explicitly, about sadness: It is bad.

You do not want it. If you’ve got it, you should definitely try to get rid of it, fast as possible. Whatever you do, don’t subject other people to it, because they do not like that.

Sadness can be legitimately problematic, absolutely. If your sadness comes from seemingly no place or even an obvious place but keeps you from participating in life or enjoying anything and refuses to abate no matter how long you go on letting it express itself, you of course can’t keep living like that. But culturally, we aren’t allowed to be sad even for a little while. Even when it’s perfectly sensible. Even when, sometimes, we need it.

This is reflected in our entertainment. Watching Bridesmaids, I shake my head over how Melissa McCarthy slaps Kristen Wiig around and tells her to stop being sad, though she has recently lost her job, her savings, her home, and her best friend. (Miraculously, this solves Kristen Wiig’s attitude problem.) In the third episode of MasterChef Junior‘s second season, judge Joe Bastianich tells a contestant who has ruined her shepherd’s pie and possibly her dream of winning, the biggest dream she’s had up to this point in her life, “When things are as bad as they can be, you gotta pull it together. Wipe your tears.”

The contestant has been crying for mere seconds. She is 8 years old.

What does it say about our relationship to sadness that Joan Didion — who we can all agree is a pretty smart, educated, and worldly cookie — had to write an entire book about trying to learn how to grieve? This ethos was fine for me when mostly nothing bad happened and if it did, the accompanying sadness didn’t linger for too long. But post-trauma, it turned out to be a massive impediment to my recovery.

I had a lot of symptoms. They all alarmed me, but equally so the most straightforward one: sadness. Sometimes I cried from uncontrollable, overwhelming, life-swallowing sadness. And all the time, the sadness and crying itself freaked me the fuck out. I would start crying, and then immediately hate myself. Why was I crying? Why couldn’t I get this sadness to go away? What was wrong with me?

Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

I got into therapy. I’d gone before, casually and occasionally, for support with some huge changes — a new city and new job and fresh divorce years earlier. Now, it was a therapy emergency. I considered myself decently good at self-care in general, but sure, I let it slip when I got too busy, when work was too demanding, when there were things I had to do that I knew I was getting too burned out to but did anyway. But taking care of myself was not optional anymore. As a matter of survival, I had to make as much room for it as it needed.

And so, I started intensive treatment — during which my therapist had to spend incalculable amounts of time trying to convince me that it was OK to be sad. The alarm I experienced over my sadness was another terrible feeling on top of my already terrible symptoms. The energy I spent panicking that I was sad could have been better spent on coping with the sadness. It was true that I — like many people, people with clinically depressed, never-ending, or life-threatening sadness — needed a lot more assistance than just a big philosophical hug, but if I could accept sadness, my therapist kept suggesting, I would be able to experience it (long and hard as that may go on) and then it could pass. The alternative — being sad, plus condemning yourself for being sad — only heightens the suffering. And, likely, the time it lasts.

“Sadness is a legitimate emotion,” my therapist would say. “There is an acceptance you can get to with it where it’s just a sensation, and without judgment, that sensation can be exquisite.”

“LIES,” I responded to this sometimes. Sometimes I called her a hippie. Nobody accepts sadness. Everybody knows that crying girls are silly and weak. Hysterical, and overdramatic.

But as much as I didn’t — I couldn’t! — really believe her, I still really wanted to learn how to do that.

Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

I can’t explain, in a tight little essay, how I finally did it. It would take an entire book for me to describe how I got even most of the way there. I can sum up that it took three years to the DAY after the events that started my symptoms, and that it cost a lot of money, and time, and time off, which cost more money, and was so painful that the very memory of how painful it was sometimes makes me need to go lie down in my bed. I can point out that most people are not given the opportunity to go through this process, even if they desperately want to. Unfortunately, healing is a luxury in our society, not a right; so many who could benefit from treatment simply can’t.

And I can tell you about the moment, that September. It was sunny and in the 60s. I was in my therapist’s office in San Francisco, which had fairly bare walls, industrial carpet, and windows that let the light in. I was lying on a massage therapist’s table, because that was normal in my somatic therapy; the treatment addressed the physicality of one’s symptoms, the places and ways trauma lived in one’s body (last year, a hero of my therapist’s, the very brilliant Bessel van der Kolk, released a book about this called The Body Keeps the Score), which was often explored with eyes closed, lying down. The first umpteen number of times I got on the table and was prompted to breathe, to feel into where my tensions and disconnections were, I resisted the falling apart this awareness and reconnecting could lead to. I feared starting to cry and never stopping. I feared never being able to put myself back together, ever, sometimes metaphorically but sometimes literally writhing and kicking and screaming with my resistance to just relaxing. Feeling. To be clear: Sadness was far from my only issue. But by Sept. 17, 2013 (around which point my insurance tallied it had so far given my therapist $18,000), I was taking feeling it in much better stride.

“How do you feel?” my therapist asked.

“Sad,” I said. I was extra sad that day because I was in the middle of a no-fault eviction, and it was turning out not to be practical or affordable to stay in the Bay Area, where I’d lived for a long time. “I feel sad because we have to move.” I cried as I talked about this. I loved California. “I have to grieve a state.”

I cried harder. “It’s a bummer.”

My therapist was very calm. “That is a bummer,” she agreed in soothing tones. She told me to open my eyes and when I did, asked me what sensation I noticed. Instantly, I pictured a kid lying in a yard.

That’s me right now, I thought. A kid lying in a yard, feeling sad — but not feeling sad about feeling sad. It was what it was. It was fine. It was a peace. Me, or a kid, being just what she was: alive.

Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

“I’m not bummed out about feeling bummed out,” I said.

The significance of this moment was clear to us both. My therapist was speechless for a second. Then she smiled — we were often smiling, because we joked through even the hardest and ugliest moments together — and said, “People pay a lot of money for that, Mac.”

“They should!”

They shouldn’t have to. I hadn’t panicked over being sad every time it had happened in my life, say over a breakup, but I had never had that level of acceptance of it, peace-spreading, unrushed, cell-deep, certainly not as an adult. And as a person with PTSD, I had completely lost any trust in my own emotions, fearing them constantly, sadness included — or perhaps especially, as it was the most persistent. Now, I was finally embracing it.

Which is how I could come to be in a position to miss it. The interestingness of it. The difference of it from other emotions. I remembered the sensations of it: the weight. The way it slowed things down and took the space of everything else up. It was exquisite, objectively but also as evidence that I could feel, that I was open and not shut down, capable of having a whole gamut of emotions rush in, and maybe overwhelm, but move through and move me. Not everyone can. Or does. I am occasionally jealous of people whose emotions come more softly, or quietly, or less often. I assume they have more time and energy, with those not being taken up by sensitivity that makes even the widely considered “good” emotions like joy feel like they’re making their heart explode. But for the most part, I’m not. Some people are born, and then they live, and then they die, one of my doctors told me once, in an effort to comfort. You, you die and are reborn sometimes 10 times in one day. Lucky.

The next time I felt sadness after I missed it, I was reminded why it was so hard to feel it all the time. Oh yeah, I remembered. It hurt. It was difficult to work. To cook, to eat, to play. To take care of others. Exquisite it may have been, but painful, and not invigorating, and quite tiring. Still I trusted that I needed it at that time, that it was expressing something necessary. I didn’t hate or judge it. I did not feel silly or weak. They say it takes a big man to cry, and I think — unfortunately, given our collective feelings about sadness — that’s true. But it takes a bigger woman still, to feel the strength of a sob, without apology or shame. With pride. I’m the biggest I’ve ever been, the way I let my emotions run, sadness included: the way it cleanses me, tears washing my face, resolving me to continue to feel with abandon.

***

Mac McClelland is the author of Irritable Hearts: A PTSD Love Story (out this Tuesday, February 24th) and For Us Surrender Is Out of the Question. She has written for Reuters, Rolling Stone, Mother Jones, the New York Times Magazine, and the New York Times Book Review, among other publications, and has won awards from the Society of Professional Journalists, the Sidney Hillman Foundation, the Online News Association, the Society of Environmental Journalists, and the Association for Women in Communications. Her work has also been nominated for two National Magazine Awards for Feature Writing and has been anthologized in the Best American Magazine Writing 2011, Best American Nonrequired Reading 2011, and Best Business Writing 2013.

To learn more about Irritable Hearts: A PTSD Love Story, click here.

Flatiron Books

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/macmcclelland/not-feeling-sad-about-feeling-sad