7 Signs You’re Emotionally Abusive To Others

  (light upbeat music) – [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers. Welcome back to another video. To start, we would like to thank you for all the support you’ve given us. Psych2Go’s mission is to make psychology and mental health more accessible to everyone. Now, back to the video. Have you ever put someone down for their appearance or intellect? Emotional abuse is one of the more common forms of abuse that uses behavioral or emotional tactics to gain a sense of control or to maintain the upper hand in a relationship.   It may be subtle and hard to recognize since it often gets swept under the rug as just a part of normal disagreements. Before we begin, we would like to mention that this video is for educational purposes only and is not intended to offend or trigger any of our audiences. This video is created so that anyone who sees themselves in these behaviors can use this information to improve their relationships and lives. With that said, here are seven signs you might be emotionally abusive. Number one, you jokingly insult people. Have you ever made a joke to hurt the person you’re making fun of? While family and friends may enjoy playful banter with each other, teasing and playful put-downs can end up crossing the line into emotional abuse when the jokes become aggressive and used intentionally to send a negative and hurtful message across.   This especially applies when you continue teasing the person or brush it off as only a joke, even though they’ve told you to stop and that your comments have become hurtful. Number two, you dismiss others’ feelings. Have you ever purposefully ignored or dismissed how someone felt because you thought they deserved it? Everyday life can sometimes be so hectic, that you lose sight of what’s happening in other people’s lives. After all, you can’t know how your loved ones are feeling all the time. But not recognizing someone’s feelings may become emotionally abusive when you tell them their feelings are wrong, or that they have no right to be so upset. This psychological invalidation of brushing someone’s feelings off as irrelevant or dramatic can lead to feelings of rejection, alienation, and depression. Number three, you like to embarrass others. Do you bring up someone’s embarrassing moments to make them feel guilty or ashamed? Have you ever humiliated someone out of anger or because you feel threatened? It’s one thing to laugh about the past moments in a fun and loving way, but this may quickly become emotional abuse when you go out of your way to humiliate them as a way of punishment or a reminder that you are the one in control of your relationship.   Humiliating someone in front of people or when they’ve asked for you to stop can be incredibly damaging to their mental and emotional well-being. Number four, you like to push buttons. Did you know that constantly doing and saying things to get others to react is also a form of emotional abuse? Doing unpredictable things to keep the other person on their toes can be a form of emotional abuse. Instead of being spontaneous to do things you both enjoy, you may use this unpredictable tactic to say or do things to purposefully anger and upset them, especially in front of other people. This may include broadcasting a secret they told you in confidence, or making social media posts you know will trigger them. Number five, you tell people their version of reality is wrong. Have you ever dismissed someone’s experience as imagined? Gaslighting is a psychological term for negating someone else’s reality and it involves intentionally using someone’s words, feelings, or actions against them. The goal is to completely discredit anything the other person has to say so that the abuser can maintain control over the narrative. This may include telling them they are crazy, accusing them of lying or making decisions for them without their input.     Number six, you use your emotions to get people to do what you want. Have you intentionally made someone feel guilty just to get your way? Expressing your emotions can be great for your mental health. Appropriate self-expression facilitates open communication and prevents many resentments. However, unleashing your emotions becomes destructive when you use it to manipulate another person. This may include impulsive shouting or screaming, using threats or ultimatums, blaming them for fights you started, or using information they’ve told you in confidence against them to maintain control and power. Number seven, you use silence as a weapon. Are you the type who deals with conflict by shutting down and running in the other direction? Have you ever used the silent treatment on others to get what you want? Emotional withholding, a form of emotional abuse that involves using affection, validation, love, and praise, against someone is a form of emotional abuse that includes what you might know as the silent treatment. Although it’s normal for any relationship to go through periods of silence, it may become abusive when you start to use it as a way to punish, control, or manipulate.   Withholding affection or positive emotion through silent treatment is a toxic way to gain the upper hand in any relationship. This also includes talking to everyone about the issue, except the other person involved or wanting the other person to feel bad or guilty. Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here? If so, what do you plan to do next? Tell us in the comments below. If you find this video insightful, please like and share it with others who may benefit from it.   Don’t forget to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell icon for more psychology content. 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