Category: Society & Culture

21 Hilarious Tweets By Celebrity Parents

Kids don’t care if you’re a rock star but they do care if you packed a snack.

1. When Olivia Wilde welcomed her son into the world:

2. And when she learned what it’s like to change a baby boy:

3. When Hilary Duff had “one of those days” while shopping with her kid:

4. When Jim Gaffigan spoke the truth about snow days:

5. And when he got a little philosophical:

6. When Jenny Mollen struggled with the idea of her son growing up:

Struck by the horrific realization that my son might not want me to be his prom date. Hopefully, I can at least go with one of his friends.

— jennyandteets (@Jenny Mollen)

7. When Snooki “handled” this breast-feeding nightmare:

To my fellow BF moms- do you ever forget your pump & have to manually pump yourself?! ✋I just did. #milkservice #thirstyanyone #humancow ðŸ„ðŸ„ðŸ„

— snooki (@Nicole Polizzi)

8. When Conan O’Brien embraced his role as his children’s first teacher:

Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.

— ConanOBrien (@Conan O’Brien)

9. And when Joel McHale probably regretted giving his kids sugar:

My kids & friends r playing in a fake grocery store scaled 2 their size. Mayhem. Its like that scene in Red Dawn right b4 they leave town.

— joelmchale (@Joel McHale)

10. When Mario Lopez articulated this all-too-real struggle:

Trying to explain to Gia that farts aren’t polite or funny. But I feel like a hypocrite because they’re totally funny… #StruggleIsReal

— MarioLopezExtra (@Mario Lopez)

11. When it was (or wasn’t) nap time at Alyson Hannigan’s house:

Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?

— alydenisof (@alyson hannigan)

12. When Pink reflected on how her life has changed since becoming a mom:

my life was once whiskey, tears, and cigarettes… now it’s snot, tears, and the color of poop. #bliss

— Pink (@P!nk)

13. And when Kelly Clarkson marveled at the fact that she IS a mom:

I still can’t believe I made a human. #topthat #firstglassofwineintenmonths #pump&dump 🙂

— kelly_clarkson (@Kelly Clarkson)

14. When Neil Patrick Harris shared this “we’ve all been there” moment:

Up until 2am constructing a table with wooden trains for Gideon and all he wants to do is play with a broom. #MerryXmas

— ActuallyNPH (@Neil Patrick Harris)

15. When Busy Philipps was finally able to stop stressing over preschool admissions:

Guys, with GREAT pride I tell you this: Birdie got into preschool. So, our job as parents is done, right? Right?

— Busyphilipps25 (@Busy Philipps)

16. When Michael Ian Black suffered from Frozen fatigue:

Watching “Frozen” again with my daughter because we paid $19.99 to download it so she’s going to fucking watch it every day until college.

— michaelianblack (@Michael Ian Black)

17. And when he decided he wasn’t one of those parents who let their kid win:

Currently kicking my daughter’s ass at Piano Tiles. I am her superior.

— michaelianblack (@Michael Ian Black)

18. When “the sickness” hit Tori Spelling’s house:

The sneezing in my house began at 6am. Must be the morning after Halloween. They always get sick. #AtLeastWeHaveConsistency

— Tori_Spelling (@Tori Spelling)

19. When Mel B was deep in the school drop-off grind:

After all the #morninghayhem this just happened on the drive to school,I mean really

— OfficialMelB (@Melanie Brown)

20. When parenting kept Anna Faris humble:

245 pm. My son just told me I had a mustache like daddy’s. #ThanksgivingThrowdown

— AnnaKFaris (@Anna Faris)

21. And when Christina Applegate tweeted the kind of thing we’ve all thought, but kept to ourselves:

Only one plug working in my house. Do I charge the baby monitor or my phone. Asshole dilemma

— 1capplegate (@christina applegate)

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/21-tweets-by-celebrity-parents-that-are-hilariously-relatabl

Mom deported for not changing lanes? Daily Beast headline leaves out a few crucial details

A lengthy piece published in The Daily Beast with the ominous subhead, “Feeding the Monsters,” goes into great detail about the ordeal of “one Ohio resident with head injuries after being rear-ended” who “was deported anywayand kidnapped the same day.”

The article goes into harrowing detail about Mexican cartels and violent crime, but before getting to any of that, readers need to get past the headline: “Mom Deported Because She Didn’t Change Lanes.” We’re guessing there was room to squeeze a couple more words in the tweet, but this is what readers were given:

Read more: http://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2017/08/09/mom-deported-for-not-changing-lanes-daily-beast-headline-leaves-out-a-few-crucial-details/

‘Act like a man’: #Brochoicer laments pro-life bill; Kirsten Powers, tweeters shred

http://twitter.com/#!/kirstenpowers10/status/355051376637771776

What a novel idea.

Texas blogger Ben Sherman, who considers himself to be staunchly “bro-choice,” vomited up a post last week bemoaning the many horrible effects that the Texas abortion bill would have on straight men. Here’s the kicker:

Your sex life is at stake. Can you think of anything that kills the vibe faster than a woman fearing a back-alley abortion? Making abortion essentially inaccessible in Texas will add an anxiety to sex that will drastically undercut its joys. And don’t be surprised if casual sex outside of relationships becomes far more difficult to come by.

Because nothing says “I’m a man who cares deeply about women’s needs” like whining about not getting any.

Fox News contributor and pro-life advocate Kirsten Powers was rightly disgusted, and she took to Twitter to show pro-choice women what their warped brand of “feminism” hath wrought:

http://twitter.com/#!/kirstenpowers10/status/355042650807742464 http://twitter.com/#!/kirstenpowers10/status/355043338623262720 http://twitter.com/#!/kirstenpowers10/status/355043788055515136

Pro-choice women, is this what empowerment looks like to you? Being objectified by men who claim to respect you?

http://twitter.com/#!/IMAO_/status/355053074324271104

Doesn’t it, though? These certainly aren’t the musings of a mature adult man.

http://twitter.com/#!/charlescwcooke/status/355051962082926592

Take note, pro-abortion feminists. This is what it means to be “bro-choice”:

http://twitter.com/#!/TRMirCat/status/355052334201577472 http://twitter.com/#!/TMugg/status/355052567027392512 http://twitter.com/#!/hale_razor/status/355053864803770369 http://twitter.com/#!/jimantle/status/355054427914256384 http://twitter.com/#!/sunnyright/status/355057081780420608 http://twitter.com/#!/alkalinesurge/status/355054183981907971 http://twitter.com/#!/bob_owens/status/355052436261576708

Are you proud of yourself, Ben Sherman? Proud of the portrait you’re painting of women?

http://twitter.com/#!/LivinOnAClaire/status/355054154135248896

And of men?

http://twitter.com/#!/SoonerCubby/status/355054115191132160

Thank goodness for real men. Men like these:

http://twitter.com/#!/Matthops82/status/355051802086998017 http://twitter.com/#!/sunnyright/status/355055428452880385

Hear, hear.

***

Related:

Kirsten Powers, Michelle Malkin quiz the media: #WhoIsKermitGosnell, where’s the coverage?

Awesome! Kirsten Powers continues epic Twitter battle against supporters of late-term abortion

Kirsten Powers: ‘I do not stand with Wendy Davis’; Blasts pro-abort fringe, media

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2013/07/10/act-like-a-man-brochoicer-laments-pro-life-bill-kirsten-powers-tweeters-shred/

Mother Makes Son Ride On The Roof Of Her Car To Hold Down A Kiddie Pool

One of the absolute worst things about shopping is trying to figure out how you’re going to fit your seemingly endless supply of shopping bags into the trunk or back seat of your car.

But the daunting task can be even more stressful when your shopping haul includes large and unusually shaped items. And while it’s perfectly okay to strap large items such as canoes or bikes to the roof of your car, one thing that’s not okay is leaving an unstrapped kiddie pool on top of your car with your child inside to hold it down.

While this might sounds like fiction, I promise you this parenting horror story is not #FakeNews.

Twenty-eight-year old Amber Schmunk was charged with child endangerment after she let her son ride on top of her minivan to keep a large kiddie pool from flying away.

Screenshot: Fox 6 Now

Police were called last month to the crossroads of Hillcrest Road and Claremont Road in Saukville, Wisconsin, after neighbors reported the unusual sight.

Screenshot: Fox 6 Now

In an interview with Fox 6 Now, Schmunk’s neighbor Barbara Sellin chastised the woman for risking the safety of her child. “I know the kids have to be strapped in. That’s just common sense. You love your kids and take care of them. To put a kid on top of the car is beyond ridiculous,” said Sellin.

Screenshot: Fox 6 Now

According to the filed complaint, Schmunk later unstrapped her son from the roof and folded up the pool and placed both inside her minivan before pulling into her sister’s driveway.

Screenshot: Fox 6 Now

When police arrived at the woman’s house, Schmunk told officers that she didn’t think twice about her dangerous stunt because when she was younger, her father did similar things. She also told police that she had no way to strap the pool down, so instead she made her son climb onto the roof to hold it down while she drove.

Screenshot: Fox 6 Now

Read more: http://www.viralnova.com/rooftop-kiddie-pool/

You Can Do Some Pretty Awesome Things With These Tiny Plastic Hooks

As you shipped your sons or daughters off to college a few weeks ago, I’m willing to bet that Command strips were on your list of must-haves.

But this company makes products that are good for way more than hanging decorations. Command also makes hooks that are amazing for when you want to hang things like towels and coats without committing to a nailed-in rack.

As it turns out, Command hooks are full of life-hack potential! To get you started, here are 15 uses for these little guys that you probably never thought of.

1. There’s nothing worse than having to constantly hold your iPad while watching TV in bed. Why not try this inexpensive wall mount that will give you a little freedom?

Reddit / etothepowerof3

2. Hang bags in the car to keep all your trash in one place.

The Krazy Coupon Lady

3. Unraveling cling wrap can be a bit unnerving when you’re trying to tear and unroll at the same time. Rig boxes of cling wrap, aluminum foil, and wax paper by hanging them up with Command hooks.

Ask Anna

4. Rotate your kids’ drawings by clipping them to clothes hangers and hanging them with Command hooks. No nails necessary!

Be a Fun Mum

5. Use them to increase storage in your cupboards by mounting lids on cabinet doors.

Instructables / Jayefuu

6. Keep unwanted visitors out of the fridge with two hooks and a hair tie.

The Krazy Coupon Lady

7. Prevent your trash bag from falling inside the can by securing the handles with hooks.

The Krazy Coupon Lady

8. Living in a world with technology can mean that you have to deal with lots of misplaced wires. Keep them hidden with a few plastic hooks.

Chega De Bagunca

9. Show off your green thumb by creating your own hanging pots that you can use inside and outside.

Chega De Bagunca

10. Decorating for the holidays just got so much easier. Keep Christmas lights in place using small Command hooks.

Chega De Bagunca

11. Can’t find your car keys? Ditch heavy-duty key racks like the one below and use Command hooks in the same way.

iStock

12. Hang a wreath in place without leaving a nail sticking out when you take it down.

iStock

13. Sideways hooks inside your bathroom cabinet make for an inexpensive toothbrush holder alternative.

iStock

14. Our teacher friends won’t have to worry about disappearing headphones. Hang hooks on monitors so kiddos know exactly where to put them back.

Sliding Into Second Grade

15. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so make sure you’re eating a balanced diet by measuring out the right portions with this simple hook hack.

Jen Thousand Words

I don’t know about you, but I’m hooked on the idea of using these simple hacks. (I’m sorry…I had to.)

Read more: http://www.viralnova.com/command-hook-uses/

Shia LaBeouf says he’s retiring from public life; Tweeters help him pack

http://twitter.com/#!/SonnyBunch/status/421660105398964225

Shia LaBeouf has a plagiarism problem. Well, he doesn’t seem to think it’s much of a problem, but the artistic community does. Most notably, LaBeouf got busted for ripping off graphic novelist Daniel Clowes after a short film he made bore an uncanny resemblance to one of Clowes’ works. His apology tweets to Clowes were reportedly ripped off as well.

A Clowes representative recently sent a cease-and-desist letter to LaBeouf’s lawyer accusing LaBeouf of further plagiarism and “improper and outlandish conduct directed at Mr. Clowes and his works.” For his fans’ reading pleasure, LaBeouf posted the letter on Twitter:

http://twitter.com/#!/thecampaignbook/status/420931951462477824 http://twitter.com/#!/thecampaignbook/status/420931993946558464

Apparently, that letter was the last straw for LaBeouf, who tweeted this early this morning:

http://twitter.com/#!/thecampaignbook/status/421577950342160384

Say it ain’t so!

http://twitter.com/#!/thecampaignbook/status/421577992734015488

He’ll certainly be missed. Not by us, but there’s gotta be somebody out there who’ll miss him … right?

Hey, found one!

http://twitter.com/#!/coco_ess/status/421661562424668160

The Shia LaBeouf Fan Club is a lonely, lonely place.

http://twitter.com/#!/WarrenHolstein/status/421661886069743616 http://twitter.com/#!/pbaladad/status/421660626964848640 http://twitter.com/#!/BecketAdams/status/421660332898000897 http://twitter.com/#!/pbonewell/status/421659106114813952

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/01/10/good-riddance-actor-shia-labeouf-says-hes-retiring-from-all-public-life-tweeters-help-him-pack/