Million bedbug march? What’s in store for the DNC #CelebratoryFinish?

http://twitter.com/#!/amish1979/status/243417025102364672

Awwww. Now that the face-saver in chief has moved his DNC speech to a smaller venue, the Democrats’ dreams of a dramatic balloon drop to close out the convention have been dashed.

Total down twinkles.

Dems are reportedly scrambling to throw together a “suitably celebratory finish” to replace the shower of balloons. Givers that they are, conservatives rushed to offer the Dems some inspiration.

Twitchy founder/CEO Michelle Malkin kicked off the fun.

What's your best guess for #DNC #CelebratoryFinish ? ==> http://t.co/Br7oAhCs

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) September 5, 2012

Giant Vagina Puppets kick line! #DNC #CelebratoryFinish

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) September 5, 2012

Hologram Margaret Sanger #DNC #CelebratoryFinish

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) September 5, 2012

Hee-hee. #CelebratoryFinish is trending. Keep it goin'! cc: @BDayspring #DNC

— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) September 5, 2012

The hashtag trended quickly and other conservatives generously offered their services as last minute convention planners.

Two words: The Aristocrats. #CelebratoryFinish

— Stephen Green (@VodkaPundit) September 5, 2012

SEIU Purple People Beater kick line… #DNC #CelebratoryFinish

— Seattle Refugee (@SeattleRefugee) September 5, 2012

Ok, if it's an @DWStweets Dunk Tank, I'll be thrilled – @michellemalkin #DNC #CelebratoryFinish!

— Brad Dayspring (@BDayspring) September 5, 2012

OWS-style up-twinkle extravaganza!!! #dnc #CelebratoryFinish

— Seattle Refugee (@SeattleRefugee) September 5, 2012

@MGraham969 #CelebratoryFinish Elizabeth Warren doing a rain dance

— Warren Merrill (@merrill_warren) September 5, 2012

https://twitter.com/SteveLeer/status/243430910513537024

Waking up to find Patrick Duffy in the shower, and realizing the last 4 years were only a dream. #CelebratoryFinish

— Cantin Man (@Cantinman) September 5, 2012

Oprah takes the stage, “YOU get a Volt! And YOU get a Volt! And YOU get a Volt!” #CelebratoryFinish

— DjWeideman (@DjWeideman) September 5, 2012

Coordinated glitter bombing #CelebratoryFinish

— Against Obama (@against_obama) September 5, 2012

#CelebratoryFinish tickets to see #NickelodeonTV TMNT on ice for all!

— MaryLynn Mc (@MaryLynnMc) September 5, 2012

A respected actor having a dialogue with an empty chair representing Mary Jo Kopechne #DNC #CelebratoryFinish

— Anthony Bialy (@AnthonyBialy) September 5, 2012

the 58 rapists from OWS show up with their new lease on life. #CelebratoryFinish #DNC2012

— Wolf Man (@browolfman) September 5, 2012

#CelebratoryFinish #Obama reprises his YMCA parody OIHO with new #bigHollywood choreography!

— MaryLynn Mc (@MaryLynnMc) September 5, 2012

@michellemalkin #DNC #CelebratoryFinish Public sector employee union synchronized lockstep. Stunning, inspiring.

— Peter Baskind (@peterbaskind) September 5, 2012

@michellemalkin Obama dribbles Bin Laden's head through the audience and slam-dunks it #DNC #CelebratoryFinish

— Mike McNally (@notoserfdom) September 5, 2012

Perhaps a little something for the Sandra Flukes in attendance?

Blown up condoms instead of balloons? RT @michellemalkin What's your best guess for #DNC #CelebratoryFinish? http://t.co/edgDBLL9

— Briana LeClaire (@brianaleclaire) September 5, 2012

Millions of birth control pills fall from the rafters. RT @michellemalkin: What's your best guess for #DNC #CelebratoryFinish ?

— Kevin Siekierski (@KevinSiekierski) September 5, 2012

https://twitter.com/flush2012/status/243421642871697408

Perfect:

https://twitter.com/AlfVal/status/243421486503841792

Keep ‘em coming, Twitter! The Democrats are counting on you!

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/09/05/out-balloon-drop-in-million-bedbug-march-whats-in-store-for-the-dnc-celebratoryfinish/

19 Reasons Why Being A Quinceañera Is Just The Worst

You might look like a princess, but you definitely won’t feel like one.

While you’re reading, LISTEN TO THIS:

So, why is being a Quinceañera the worst? Well…

1. Because being lifted in the air is not always the best idea.

2. Especially when there are pyrotechnics involved.

3. Because your dad can sometimes be a total klutz at the worst possible moment.

4. Because your special Quinceañera video will contain INCREDIBLY BAD video effects…

5. …and I do mean…

7. And your video will have the same cliché shots of you awkwardly posing with your Quinceañera outfit.

 

8. Your choreographer will suggest that dancing with fire will make your night more memorable…

11. Your dress will INEVITABLY turn against you at the worst possible moment.

12. Dancing like this for an hour with every single family member is the bane of your existence.

13. Your chambelanes are generally your cousins who don’t have the heart to tell you “NO.”

They might tell you, “Of course, Cuz… Anything for you.” But in reality, they probably hate you for asking.

14. The limo ride is actually not as cool as it seems.

Also, pink limos should never be a thing.

15. Even though you woke up at the crack of dawn to have someone put a pound of makeup on your face…

16. …there will always be a cousin who’s ready to ruin your makeup…

17. …and your cake.

18. Even though it might seem sweet to have your dad put on your high heels in front of everyone, it’s actually really awkward.

::awkward turtle::

19. There will come a point in the evening when you’re just over it.

Like “GET ME OUT OF THIS DRESS AND GET ME SOME SWEATPANTS” over it.

So if being a Quinceañera is all you want, more power to you.

Just remember not to take it too seriously.

Reminder: You could always just go to Disneyland… Just saying.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/norbertobriceno/go-to-disneyland-instead

Devastating suggestion nails ‘struggles’ of McDonald’s protesters

http://twitter.com/#!/EEElverhoy/status/408640499474370560

Holy crap, indeed. Hey, union goons and wage warriors, tell us more about your selfless “struggles.” Or better yet, tell these people:

http://twitter.com/#!/TheMaverick21/status/408639655324573696

Nailed it.

http://twitter.com/#!/DrAlfredBellows/status/408640944464871424 http://twitter.com/#!/TheMaverick21/status/408640324760662016

This one’s for all the fast food protesters out there:

http://twitter.com/#!/RMHC/status/408623191318593536

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2013/12/05/best-freakin-tweet-devastating-suggestion-exposes-struggles-of-mcdonalds-protesters/

Maher takes another sexist shot at Palin

http://twitter.com/#!/billmaher/status/211248454473752577

Bill Maher is a donor to the Obama Super PAC, and he continues to make outrageously sexist comments such as this one.

Has anyone invented the vaudeville hook for twitter yet? Asking for @billmaher

— GregGutfeld (@greggutfeld) June 9, 2012

@CAAmyO that's not even funny, that's fucking stupid! Ugh. @billmaher

— Harry (@Tark31) June 9, 2012

@billmaher you are obsessed with palin….pathetic

— Scott Peterson (@scottyp333) June 9, 2012

@billmaher Bill, maybe Twitter isn't your thing. #hackjoke

— Just Jimmy (@looney1971) June 9, 2012

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/06/08/maher-takes-another-sexist-shot-at-palin/

21 Dick Moves Every Original “Animal Crossing” Player Made

Anything for more bells.

1. Created an account with a strange name.

Other definitely valid player names: “Kanye W.” and “Oprah W.”

2. Shook trees for bells, even though you could get stung by a bee.

Nintendo / Via sinesique.tumblr.com

3. Fast forwarded the clock to holidays, also for more bells.

THANKS, MOM <3

4. Did literally anything you could to piss off Tom Nook.

Nintendo / Via littleolegifs.tumblr.com

5. And Resetti.

6. Wrote inappropriate notes to other animals.

Nintendo / Via europatimes.tumblr.com

7. And on the town bulletin board.

Nailed it.

8. Put up with shit like this just so you could ask animals for gifts or jobs.

Nintendo / Via tommycrossing.tumblr.com

Well, you’re an asshole. Give me things.

9. Walked into the museum when you didn’t need anything, just because you wanted to wake this guy up.

Nintendo / Via tommycrossing.tumblr.com

10. Screamed, “NO!” whenever Rover asked to sit by you.

I hate you, Rover.

11. Hoarded too many things from Lost and Found.

“Uhhh, yes. This is all mine.”

12. And then ran away from Booker inside, just because he’d run after you.

~Fuck the police~

13. Antagonized other animals just so they’d react weirdly to you.

14. And tried to push other animals when they stood close to the water.

Stop. Smiling. And. Dancing.

15. Hunted down K.K. Slider when he graced your town with his presence.

Nintendo / Via acgc.tumblr.com

A guitar player with great eyebrows? Sign me up.

16. Went to fitness classes and did WHATEVER YOU WANTED.

Nintendo / Via weheartit.com

I’MMA DO ME.

17. Slammed your shovel against everything because you felt like it.

ROCKS! *BANG* BUILDINGS! *BANG* FENCES! *BANG*

18. Went to other towns JUST so you could bring things back to sell.

Nintendo / Via pockystown.tumblr.com

19. Stared at animals while they slept.

Nintendo / Via tommycrossing.tumblr.com

Just practicing for real life.

20. Sat in strangers’ homes as if you weren’t being weird at all.

*Turns head slowly* I’ve been waiting for you, Marcy the Kangaroo.

21. And caught other living creatures to SELL THEM AT THE LOCAL STORE.

Nintendo / Via tommycrossing.tumblr.com

Anything for more bells.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/annakopsky/dick-moves-every-original-animal-crossing-player-made