Read more: http://www.ifunny.com//pictures/and-james-bond-theme-music-starts-play/
Author: Leaman Ralph
Really sugar is shaky because it originates from a straight stick see the play is Granny yes Grandma plus new style luv MaryJane so listen (Granny Apple last years blue ribbon production winner AKA) I, I, I ain't on the right side of my house Jane something or the other is in my room: finally after an extermination Grannie speaks once more "let my (old man) Pacman step on it". See it is home on the range so solo as it be truity speaks got a problem it is your own. But alter scenario: Z/n time; narcotics I got that candy s.p.ee..d360 Bar itch its' and Mickey Mouse for the Sultan 7 1 4er well a hem a hem, it went early in the morning like a smack chanting sugar structure 7 -one 1 +eleven and 4 do an ate 'er 8 eight 'er? Well that aint nice. NARCO says do you know them numbers change (response) Yes it is a FiX they are MF's Ope yeah Ope Douglas is it.
Surrounded by Alkaloid is both Mary and Grandma in an never ending circle of membership. French mandates declare put up their dukes... ZEN Pepsi can talk half Chocolate and your ole man Pacman down in Cuba posing as the worlds one and only Coffee Wizard "back 1:1" tis Coffee time... ||
You Need To Follow The TSA Instagram Right Now
Where else are you gonna find a bag of eels, really?
1. Sometimes people do the darndest things. Like, say, try to smuggle 92 pounds of marijuana through the airport security line.
2. Thankfully, the TSA has an informative/hilarious Instagram page that captures some of the best things recovered in security searches.
Like this medieval ball and chain.
3. Their Insta chronicles typical confiscated items, like handguns.
This one was loaded.
4. To the truly bizarre.
Fun fact: Anything that resembles a hand grenade is gonna get confiscated.
5. Oh sure, take your bag of eels across state lines.
According to the TSA, “the passenger was attempting to transport 163 marine tropical fish and 22 invertebrates” into Venezuela.
6. Or your pantyhose filled with tiny snakes.
Yes, that’s an actual thing someone tried to smuggle through a security checkpoint.
14. Some people use ~creative~ means of trying to smuggle weapons through — like stuffed animals.
18. Important rule: You may check your sword in your luggage but you can’t put it in your carry-on.
Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/juliegerstein/you-need-to-follow-the-tsa-instagram-right-now
They Thought They Were Reading From The Quran, But Then They Learned The Truth
With the recent uproar over Islam in Europe and the U.S. in light of ISIS attacks, there has been a great deal of scrutiny over whether the religion is aggressive at its core — and more pointedly, whether the Quran itself is the cause.
To find out, two men from the Netherlands behind the YouTube channel Dit Is Normal took to the streets to conduct an experiment. Disguising a Bible as a copy of the Quran and highlighting some of the most shocking parts to read to people on the street, they wanted to find out what others thought about the text. Wait until you see what happened when they did.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEnWw_lH4tQ?autoplay=0]
What should we take away from this? That our view of Muslim people should not be tainted by the actions of so few? That the media controls our perspective on the world? I’d argue that it’s all of the above.
Read more: http://www.viralnova.com/quran-experiment/
Obama decries manufactured crises, blame-gaming in sequestration speech
http://twitter.com/#!/JeromeEHudson/status/306471581696274433
President Obama took his perpetual campaign on the road this afternoon to scare the workers at Newport News Shipbuilding about the looming sequestration cuts.
Obama standing next to a giant propeller for his anti-sequester speech surrounded by glum looking workers
— Charlie Spiering (@charliespiering) February 26, 2013
Well, no wonder they’re glum! You see, according to Obama, if the minor spending cuts go into effect, we’re in for a heap of trouble:
“In a few days, Congress might allow a series of arbitrary budget cuts to take place—known in Washington as ‘the sequester.’” #JobsOverCuts
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) February 26, 2013
Obama: “The sequester uses a meat-cleaver approach to gut critical investments in things like education & national security.” #JobsOverCuts
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) February 26, 2013
Meat cleaver? Violent rhetoric alert!
Obama: These cuts “will weaken America’s economic recovery, our military readiness, and the basic services the American people depend on.”
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) February 26, 2013
“These cuts are wrong. They’re not smart. They’re not fair. They’re a self-inflicted wound that doesn’t have to happen.” #JobsOverCuts
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) February 26, 2013
Why is Obama complaining about the sequester. Didn’t he promise in a debate that there was no way it would happen?
— Jon Gabriel (@ExJon) February 26, 2013
Why yes, yes he did.
“These cuts are wrong. They aren’t smart, they aren’t fair.” – guy who dreamed up sequester, signed it, threatened to veto its replacement.
— Rudy Drewliani (@FigDrewton) February 26, 2013
Well, if you’re gonna get technical …
President Obama: “We can’t ask seniors and working families like yours to shoulder the entire burden of deficit reduction.” #JobsOverCuts
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) February 26, 2013
Obama: “We won’t grow the middle class simply by shifting the cost of health care or college onto families that are already struggling.”
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) February 26, 2013
POTUS @ Newport News Shipbldg, maker VA-class subs: “hundreds of thousands of jobs are in jeopardy because of politics in Washington.”
— Jay Carney (EOP) (@PressSec) February 26, 2013
Shipbuilders and Americans everywhere will ultimately wind up starving, homeless, or worse:
Obama: “Sequester is a pretty bad name. But the effects are even worse than the name.”
— Roger Simon (@politicoroger) February 26, 2013
Obama on “not smart” cuts: “You don’t want to choose between – do I close funding for disabled kid or the poor kid”
— Charlie Spiering (@charliespiering) February 26, 2013
But let him be clear: the last thing we need is more manufactured crises:
Obama: “We’ve got to stop having these crises manufactured every month. You guys must be tired of these things.”
— Roger Simon (@politicoroger) February 26, 2013
Obama: “The greatest nation on earth can’t just keep drifting from one crisis to another.”
— Roger Simon (@politicoroger) February 26, 2013
Or blame-gaming:
Obama: “I’m not interested in spin, I’m not interest in playing a blame game. At this point, all I’m interested in is solving problems”
— Steven Dennis (@StevenTDennis) February 26, 2013
No sirree!
Obama says he’s “not interested in playing a blame game” just after saying Congress is about to drag country into another Great Recession
— David Nakamura (@DavidNakamura) February 26, 2013
HAHAHAHAHA MT @clusterstock: OBAMA: “I’ve run my last election. … I’m not interested in spin, I’m not interested in playing a blame game.”
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) February 26, 2013
Obama said he’s not interested in playing the blame game. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL bit.ly/15gMzgP LOLOLOLOLOLOL #tcot #p2 #sequester
— RB (@RBPundit) February 26, 2013
Just kidding!
POTUS: “too many R’s in Congress…refuse to compromise an inch when it comes to closing tax loopholes & special interest tax breaks.”
— Jay Carney (EOP) (@PressSec) February 26, 2013
But just so y’all know, he’s still as humble as ever:
Obama: “The one thing about being president is that after four years, you become pretty humble.”
— Roger Simon (@politicoroger) February 26, 2013
So we can be grateful for that. We’re not nearly as grateful, however, that we’ve still got nearly four more years of this garbage:
If you would actually lead & solve problems @barackobama , we wouldn’t be going from manufactured crisis to crisis.
— Bobo(@thegreatbobo) February 26, 2013
How, just how does this guy sleep at night? The lies are head spinning.
— Jerome Hudson(@JeromeEHudson) February 26, 2013
Good Lord Obama is shameless.
— Heather (@hmfearny) February 26, 2013
***
Related:
Fact check: NPR trying hard to pin Obama’s sequestration cuts on Republicans
Delusional: Obama claims ‘his door is open’; Bemoans GOP ‘ideological rigidity’
Apocalypse soon: Democrats ramp up scare campaign over sequestration cuts
Dem Sen. Max Baucus speaks out of turn, admits sequester was White House’s idea
#StopTheSequester: Dems keep scare-mongering as Obama readies for pricey speech
#JobsNotCuts: Obama, progs push sequester hashtag; conservatives hijack with truth
15 Coming Out Text Messages That Will Give You Life
We live in the modern age.
4. And this mother who had her priorities focused on more pressing matters:
7. This friend who obviously skipped a few science classes:
Bismuth is a chemical element with 83 protons and its symbol is “Bi” — just FYI. The metal also has a fabulous rainbow coloration.
Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/skarlan/what-is-the-emoji-for-yaasss
Guess Which One Is The Female…
![‘Still laughing’: Panthers player names alma mater as ‘Hogwarts’ [Vine, pic]](https://effectsofanxiety.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/14934375427366-hardy.jpg){kind=small}
‘Still laughing’: Panthers player names alma mater as ‘Hogwarts’ [Vine, pic]
http://twitter.com/#!/scotprincess/status/409870573368377345
Greg Hardy of the Carolina Panthers had one of the more unique personal introductions we’ve seen in a while. Hardy introduced himself as “Kraken” and named his college alma mater as “Hogwarts.”
http://twitter.com/#!/CarPanthersNews/status/409866674477993984Below is a Vine and a YouTube video:
http://twitter.com/#!/oQuarterback/status/409866842061017089 http://twitter.com/#!/madamemorgan/status/409873852911456256Hardy chose football over another sport even more popular at Hogwarts:
http://twitter.com/#!/Bonnette_32/status/409866043516280833
Always Wear Underwear
I blame myself for assuming he would want me to go with him.
Read more: https://imgflip.com/i/6qc84
Panic as Twinkie-pocalypse approaches
http://twitter.com/#!/lisa1219/status/269243796557021185
As a bakers’ strike threatens to kill off the legendary snack-cake manufacturer Hostess, consumers on Twitter are pausing for a moment of reflection. With the company threatening to liquidate if workers don’t return by tonight, this could be the end of the company.
Thanks for the calorie-laden memories, Hostess:
TWINKIES 1ST, THEN AMERICA: Union GREED May Kill Off The Twinkie breitbart.com/Big-Government… #tcot
— slone (@slone) November 16, 2012
Stocking up now on weapons and water for the post-Twinkie apocalypse. #peaktwinkie
— Sid Acker (@siddharma) November 16, 2012
@slone .. TWINKIES. . .That REALLY makes me MAD..!!…
— Mike Beacham (@ma_beacham) November 16, 2012
MY LIFE IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RT @ayestalker: The Twinkie’s are going bankrupt #nomore
— Natalie Gomez (@nataliesteeez) November 16, 2012
Twinkie’s may never be made again. Fear not, America. We still have the Chocolate Fountain at Golden Coral.
— Enraged Asshole (@maulingmueller) November 15, 2012
And let us not forget that Twinkie lovers are not the only ones grieving.
If hostess rly has a fall out and they don’t have Hohos anymore idk what I will do
— Linda rizek (@LindaRizek) November 16, 2012
Hey Don’t Take Away Me Hostess Them Snow Balls & Zingers & Bread Will Never Be The Same This Just Can’t Happen C’mon #STICKAROUNDKINGOFBREAD
— BRUCE TODD WAFER (@BTW633) November 16, 2012
@flavarsity Wonder Bread might cease to be a wonder as well!
— Ryan Keith (@Coach_Keith10) November 16, 2012
Some, like St. Louis news reporter Rebecca Roberts, are scrambling to make things right while they still have the chance.
Momentous occasion: trying my first-ever Twinkie, on the day Hostess could decide to liquidate.@ KTVI/KPLR instagr.am/p/SEOGJIvlnQ/
— Rebecca Roberts (@RRobertsTV) November 15, 2012
#Hostess factory employee: “you can eat as much as you want, you just can’t any home.” OMG I’d be so fat. #HostessStrike #RIPTwinkies
— Rebecca Roberts (@RRobertsTV) November 16, 2012
Of course, some people had to ruin the nostalgic moment by reminding us how capitalism works.
Relax, Twinkie lovers. If Hostess goes under, some other commercial bakery will buy the name & disgusting recipe in bankruptcy court.
— George (@GeorgeScumbag) November 16, 2012
That’s probably true, but it’s still sad to see an overzealous union take down a good American company (If indeed that happens). But even if Hostess goes the way of the dinosaur, we can be assured of one thing. Someday, long after the demise of our civilization, an archaeologist will find a perfectly preserved Twinkie in its little plastic bag. While our society may have disappeared, our buildings crumbled, and our culture vanished, that Twinkie will still be as edible as the day it rolled out of the factory.
Hostess may go down, but the Twinkie is forevah.
Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/11/15/panic-as-twinkie-pocalypse-approaches/