Webster’s Dictionary defines “satire” as … not this. Desperate The Onion-wannabe The Daily Currant posted an article today claiming that former presidential candidate Rick Santorum has a gay dating app on his phone.
The 51 year old former senator from the state of Pennsylvania was caught Friday when during an interview with a reporter he took out his iPhone to answer an emergency call from his wife.
During the 10 second interval it took for Santorum to figure out how to answer the call, the reporter noticed the distinctive icon for Grindr – “the world’s biggest mobile network of guys” – on the conservative, catholic father of seven’s home screen.
“Is that – is that – Grindr Mr. Santorum?” the young reporter can be heard saying on videotape of the incident.” America’s number one gay dating app?”
“Grindr? What’s no? The yellow one? Oh right. OK. Grindr. Like coffee grinds. Yeah that’s something I downloaded for coffee It finds the nearest Starbucks.”
Get it? Rick Santorum believes homosexuality is wrong, so he must secretly be a homosexual. A promiscuous one, at that. That’s funny, right? Plenty of Twitterers thought so.
Rick Santorum is a fucking closet case. You thought Grindr was for coffee??! YEAH THE FUCK RIGHT BITCH
— CHARLEISHA (@diormafioso) July 3, 2012
Apparently, in addition to being perverse, said Twitterers are also illiterate. Had they taken ten seconds to, you know, actually look at the site, they would’ve figured out that The Daily Currant bears no resemblance to even a third-rate news source.
But such an idea never occurred to them, and their carelessness resulted in gems like these:
What? 🙂 Coffee is my code word for hot, steamy.. Santorum Claims He Thought Grindr Was a Coffee App http://t.co/N8ZI8Tc6 #lgbt #gay #p2
— Rick Santorum * (@RickSantorumUSA) July 3, 2012
lol can this rick santorum has the grindr app because he thought it was for coffee plz lead to him having a larry craig moment in starbucks
— amanda (@zachparises) July 3, 2012
HAHAHAHAHA RICK SANTORUM GOT CAUGHT WITH THE GRINDR APP ON HIS PHONE
— SAVE BANDIT (@BohoJojo) July 3, 2012
@alibee @dpmendenhall Santorum is very likely the closet case every one of these raving homophobes turns out to be. http://t.co/MKF7JYNs
— C J Silverio (@ceejbot) July 3, 2012
Because the loudest homophobes are NEVER gay, right? http://t.co/gVJetOCR #tedhaggard #sencraig #rentboy #boballen
— Suebob (@suebob) July 3, 2012
HAHA RICK SANTORUM HAS GRINDR
— lucas (@lucasinfurs) July 3, 2012
https://twitter.com/DannyScoobs/status/220255852534304768
http://t.co/vtin8TR8 You can't be serious?! ROTFLMFAO. Really dude?? Grindr? Looking for a tall double shot? #NOTstarbucks
— Jay (@TheonlyJGrant) July 3, 2012
https://twitter.com/TheFameCannibal/status/220255509834502145
Santorum thought Grindr was a coffee app. And I thought Penthouse was a real estate magazine.#justsayin
— Brad (@Bam2) July 3, 2012
Couldn't find Starbucks but he got a long black… Santorum Claims He Thought Grindr Was a Coffee App http://t.co/cRzDzWjH
— Sassy Lang (@SassyLang) July 3, 2012
I had a feeling there was plenty of Santorum on Grindr if you catch my drift.
— Lauren Utter (@LaurenUtter) July 3, 2012
Rick Santorum thought Grindr was a coffee app? I call bullshit
— Tinaaaa (@Christinughh) July 3, 2012
Good call. Because that’s exactly what it is.
Even serial bully Dan Savage, no fan of Santorum by any stretch of the imagination, tweeted that enough was enough, already.
To everyone who has sent me the story about a reporter spotting Grindr app on Rick Santorum's iPhone: It's a joke site, people. Not real.
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) July 3, 2012
The next person who tweets at me about Rick Santorum getting caught on Grindr gets slapped.
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) July 3, 2012
When you’ve lost Dan Savage …
That Santorum/Grindr story wasn't even good satire.
— Adam Smith (@asmith83) July 3, 2012
No. No it wasn’t.
We know satire, The Daily Currant. And that is no satire.
Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/07/03/lefties-tickled-pink-over-sick-satirical-article-about-rick-santorum/
