Author: Leaman Ralph

Really sugar is shaky because it originates from a straight stick see the play is Granny yes Grandma plus new style luv MaryJane so listen (Granny Apple last years blue ribbon production winner AKA) I, I, I ain't on the right side of my house Jane something or the other is in my room: finally after an extermination Grannie speaks once more "let my (old man) Pacman step on it". See it is home on the range so solo as it be truity speaks got a problem it is your own. But alter scenario: Z/n time; narcotics I got that candy s.p.ee..d360 Bar itch its' and Mickey Mouse for the Sultan 7 1 4er well a hem a hem, it went early in the morning like a smack chanting sugar structure 7 -one 1 +eleven and 4 do an ate 'er 8 eight 'er? Well that aint nice. NARCO says do you know them numbers change (response) Yes it is a FiX they are MF's Ope yeah Ope Douglas is it. Surrounded by Alkaloid is both Mary and Grandma in an never ending circle of membership. French mandates declare put up their dukes... ZEN Pepsi can talk half Chocolate and your ole man Pacman down in Cuba posing as the worlds one and only Coffee Wizard "back 1:1" tis Coffee time... ||

Let’s Talk This Out

Washington Press Club flubs Rep. Chaffetz’ state in dinner program

http://twitter.com/#!/mkhammer/status/299333364693999616

Who copy edited the program for tonight’s Washington Press Club Foundation dinner? Maybe it was the same person who copy edited the program for Ed Koch’s funeral. Jason Chaffetz represents Utah, not New Mexico, but at this point, what difference does it make?

.@jasoninthehouse gets burned by the press club twitter.com/Timodc/status/…

— Tim Miller (@Timodc) February 7, 2013

Chaffetz, with Sen. Heidi Heitkamp, was on hand to speak to the press, many of whom viewed the dinner as prom night.

Ready for it? Congress prom is tonight! Chaffetz, Heitkamp, @majorcbs. Follow along at #wpcfdinner

— Christina Bellantoni (@cbellantoni) February 6, 2013

69th Annual Congressional Dinner; yearly prom for reporters and Congress. Reporters invite congressmen as their “dates.” #wpcfdinner

— Ric Andersen (@ricandersen) February 7, 2013

D.C. rock stars @jasoninthehouse and @majorcbs holding court ow.ly/i/1u1Mb #wpcfdinner

— Warren Rojas (@WARojas) February 7, 2013

#wpcfdinner — now it’s time for dessert twitter.com/ClotureClub/st…

— ClotureClub.com (@ClotureClub) February 7, 2013

With so many reporters in the same room, imagine the secrets we’ll learn about Washington’s inner workings.

Something I learned at #wpcfdinner: lawmakers who live/sleep in offices walk halls of bldg in pajamas at 3am and play video games together

— jennifer bendery (@jbendery) February 7, 2013

Lot of droning going on at this #wpcfdinner

— Igor Bobic (@igorbobic) February 7, 2013

The dessert at this #wpcfdinner has GOLD on it. twitter.com/jbendery/statu…

— jennifer bendery (@jbendery) February 7, 2013

* * *

Update: With the help of Heitkamp, Chaffetz left little doubt that he’s from Utah by engaging in some Mormon humor.

. @jasoninthehouse is bringing down the house

— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) February 7, 2013

Utah Rep. Jason Chaffetz’s wife cracking up as Heitkamp asks if it’s “cozy” sleeping in his office with Donnie and Marie Osmond posters.

— jennifer bendery (@jbendery) February 7, 2013

But Chaffetz gets in an awesome joke. Says they wanted to save money on alcohol by inviting him, jokes: Is the senator from Idaho here?

— Patricia Zengerle (@ReutersZengerle) February 7, 2013

MT @reuterszengerle: Chaffetz, a Mormon, also jokes that he brought his wife, his “only wife.” #wpcfdinner

— Christina Bellantoni (@cbellantoni) February 7, 2013

.@jasoninthehouse: “I don’t know why the approval rating for Congress is so bad – we haven’t done anything!” #wpcfdinner

— Christina Bellantoni (@cbellantoni) February 7, 2013

.@jasoninthehouse quips he’s diverse choice in GOP: “With a name like Chaffetz that’s almost like being Hispanic.”

— Christina Bellantoni (@cbellantoni) February 7, 2013

You guys, Rep. Chaffetz has been talking for 5 min and he’s already made jokes about polygamy, drinking, GOP catering to minorities. Win.

— Rebecca Berg (@rebeccagberg) February 7, 2013

What Happened to This Dog Made My Stomach Turn. Thank Goodness For The Ending.

If you remember the classic 90s movie Homeward Bound (and you should), you’ll remember one of the animals had an encounter with a porcupine. The tense scene shows Chance getting attacked by a grumpy little porcupine, leaving quills in his face (and rendering me terrified of porcupines for the rest of my life). Well, when that happens in real life, it’s about 25x more terrifying and looks like a scene from a gruesome horror movie.

Bella Mae the bulldog came face-to-face (or face-to-quilled-tail) with a porcupine at her home.

Emergency Animal Center

Bella got a little too close to the wild creature, with attacked with full force. Her owners had to rush her into the emergency animal care.

Emergency Animal Center

Vets had to perform emergency surgery to remove the quills from her face; they also found quills lodged in her mouth and feet.

Emergency Animal Center

They believe over 500 quills were embedded in poor Bella.

Emergency Animal Center

Most of the quills were removed, but in case there are any left, the dog will be on medication and under medical supervision.

Emergency Animal Center

Dr. Leonardo Baez at the Animal Emergency Center in Oklahoma City said he has never seen a case that bad, especially from an animal that lived in a densely populated area.

Emergency Animal Center

So be careful when you let your pets outside.

Emergency Animal Center

Not every scent they go sniffing after will lead to a happy ending.

Emergency Animal Center

Thankfully, Bella will be okay. The Noles children were shaken by the attack, but they are recovering, too, now that they see their dog is back to normal. Source: News9 So learn your lesson: do not stick your face anywhere near a porcupine.

Why I Turn The Tv On – To Watch Stuff…

Hurdler Michael Tinsley: ‘this track is lightning fast’

http://twitter.com/#!/AtoBoldon/status/231337154071117824

Today is the first day of track and field at the Olympics. Based on the comment of 400-meter hurdler Michael Tinsley, we can expect some super-fast times in the coming week. Tinsley won his heat in 49.13 seconds this afternoon, easily advancing to the next round.

Sen. Lamar Alexander calls on Kathleen Sebelius to resign

http://twitter.com/#!/SenAlexander/status/395195200684847104

Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) today called for Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius to resign over the disastrous HeathCare.gov rollout. Alexander is the ranking member on the Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee.

http://twitter.com/#!/SenAlexander/status/395195763409424384

Alexander isn’t putting a lot of faith in the “tech surge” that’s supposed to have the site up and running by the end of November — and least if it’s done under Sebelius’ watch.

http://twitter.com/#!/SenAlexander/status/395196296434167808

Alexander also took a shot at the most transparent administration ever, noting that Obamacare enrollment numbers might very well be the last, best kept secret in Washington.

http://twitter.com/#!/SenAlexander/status/394956021405196288

I Should Buy A Boat Cat

Bert & Ernie share cuddly ‘Moment of Joy’ on The New Yorker’s DOMA cover

http://twitter.com/#!/LoganDobson/status/350604289229598721

“No, not even Muppets can be spared a part in this culture war,” writes David Harsanyi at Human Events. In celebration of the Supreme Court’s same-sex marriage decisions, The New Yorker debuted this cover, titled “Moment of Joy:

http://twitter.com/#!/silviakillings/status/350601302134382592

Ohhhhh. That kind of “roommates.”

http://twitter.com/#!/MiaFarrow/status/350618781975982080

We’re pretty sure puppets don’t have sexual orientations and can’t actually get married (but don’t tell Kermit and Piggy).

http://twitter.com/#!/lachlan/status/350623666469474304 http://twitter.com/#!/hale_razor/status/350613734131122176 http://twitter.com/#!/bethanyshondark/status/350611559023771652

Sesame Workshop doesn’t like it either. According to a 2011 statement, Bert and Ernie are most definitely not gay. Also, they’re Muppets.

http://twitter.com/#!/mfmusic/status/350614785152397312 http://twitter.com/#!/allanbourdius/status/350616751253360640

But more importantly, why is it so dark in Bert and Ernie’s pad?

http://twitter.com/#!/AmandaBecker/status/350616271076864000

Can we get a fact check on this?

Doge

Fauxcahontas bores John Kerry

http://twitter.com/#!/RyanGOP/status/243553925947596800

Mass. Democratic Senate candidate and ethnic preference fabulist Elizabeth Warren, known affectionately to all informed political observers as #Fauxcohantas, delivered her usual Salt of the Earth stemwinder. Senior Mass. Democrat Sen. John Kerry gave his candid review in an unscripted moment caught by CNN. Hilarity and sympathy yawns ensued:

@RyanGOP In all fairness, can you blame him?

— Milkshakes Anytime (@MomMilkshake) September 6, 2012

LOL, John Kerry just yawned at Warren's speech on CNN. Give that cameraman a raise.

— have a goodnight (@tgoodnight) September 6, 2012

ME AND JOHN KERRY YAWNED AT THE SAME TIME YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!

— samsquantch (@newportliving) September 6, 2012

Prolly seen all of E-Dubs’ stump on cable like rest of us. RT @HotlineReid: John Kerry yawning just as camera finds him. Dept. of Bad Timing

— Duke (@DukeStJournal) September 6, 2012

We're all yawning… same tired old tactics RT @morningmoneyben John Kerry caught yawning during Warren speech by CNN.

— Jonathan Hall (@jihall) September 6, 2012

John Kerry caught yawning during Elizabeth Warren's speech–it pretty well summed it up.

— kennerly (@kennerly) September 6, 2012

Wonder if Boston TV got that shot RT @morningmoneyben John Kerry caught yawning during Warren speech by CNN.

— Eric Fehrnstrom (@EricFehrn) September 6, 2012

John Kerry caught yawning on CNN -ooops!! Of course Kerry yawning at someone else's speech is irony defined #DNC2012

— Dean Obeidallah (@Deanofcomedy) September 6, 2012

We can only imagine how Yawn Kerry fared through Bill Clinton’s ponderous lecture.

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