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I’m so hungry and too lazy to cook
Author: Leaman Ralph
Really sugar is shaky because it originates from a straight stick see the play is Granny yes Grandma plus new style luv MaryJane so listen (Granny Apple last years blue ribbon production winner AKA) I, I, I ain't on the right side of my house Jane something or the other is in my room: finally after an extermination Grannie speaks once more "let my (old man) Pacman step on it". See it is home on the range so solo as it be truity speaks got a problem it is your own. But alter scenario: Z/n time; narcotics I got that candy s.p.ee..d360 Bar itch its' and Mickey Mouse for the Sultan 7 1 4er well a hem a hem, it went early in the morning like a smack chanting sugar structure 7 -one 1 +eleven and 4 do an ate 'er 8 eight 'er? Well that aint nice. NARCO says do you know them numbers change (response) Yes it is a FiX they are MF's Ope yeah Ope Douglas is it.
Surrounded by Alkaloid is both Mary and Grandma in an never ending circle of membership. French mandates declare put up their dukes... ZEN Pepsi can talk half Chocolate and your ole man Pacman down in Cuba posing as the worlds one and only Coffee Wizard "back 1:1" tis Coffee time... ||
KITTEN KISSES
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Twitter buzzes over all-black ‘Around the Horn’ panel
http://twitter.com/#!/alexthegreat06/status/186925004280184832
Seems like the panel for Around The Horn is all black today. I'm assuming hockey won't end up being the most well known subject regarding the program.
— Taylor Craig (@TaylorCraig) April 2, 2012
I think this is certainly an initial, round the Horn with Ebony Writers on show today
— Señor Nutt (@KaliKomplex) April 2, 2012
It had been kinda cool seeing an all-black panel on all over Horn.
— Melvin Backman (@MelvinBackman) April 2, 2012
An all-Black "Around the Horn"… Are they getting terminated or are typical the white men in the NCAA Championship game tonight?
— XAVIER LAMONT (@xlcomedy) April 2, 2012
4 black dudes on all over horn, you understand some crazy things is all about to pop-off tonight #RCJH
— Sebastian Bonner Jr (@S_CMB3) April 2, 2012
Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/04/02/twitter-buzzes-over-all-black-around-the-horn-panel/
First World Metal Problems
Read more: https://imgflip.com/i/9noi2
Mark Fox to stay at Georgia
http://twitter.com/#!/coachmarkfox/status/185104106376011777
Georgia head basketball coach Mark Fox is making it clear that he will remain in Athens as the Bulldog coach, despite rumors that he may be a candidate to take over at Kansa State after the departure of Frank Martin. While this seems to be a clear denial of any interest on his part, nothing is ever certain around the coaching carousel.
Mark fox to Kstate potentially? He's a Kansas guy, at Kstate before. Does Underwood stay? Lots of questions with #kstate
— Jenn Bates (@KWCHJenn) March 27, 2012
hearing Mark Fox wants Kansas State and that O Purnell wants out of DePaul, wants Wake. @tsnmike @GaryParrishCBS
— Clay Dade (@ClayDade) March 28, 2012
Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/03/28/mark-fox-to-stay-at-georgia/
Josh Duhamel And Dean Winters Play “Law Or Not A Law?”
And now we’ve all learned a thing or two.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
Josh Duhamel and Dean Winters are the stars of the new show Battle Creek, where they play two detectives. They stopped by BuzzFeed and we decided to test their judicial knowledge by presenting them with the following 22 laws. Some are real, and some are fake. It was their job to determine the truth.
1. The law: You may not honk your horn outside of a sandwich shop past 9 PM In Arkansas.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
The law can be found here.
2. The law: You need a license to carry a concealed slingshot in Alaska.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
The law can be found here.
3. The law: You cannot sell Alcohol on Sundays in Connecticut.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
It USED to be a law, but isn’t anymore.
6. The law: Women may not wear pants on Sundays in Kentucky.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
7. The law: Liquor stores may not sell milk in Indiana.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
Full law here.
9. The law: It is illegal to steal an alligator in Louisiana.
Macey j. Foronda / BuzzFeed
10. The law: You may not pass off margarine for butter in New Jersey
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
11. The law: You may not pass off margarine for butter in Wisconsin.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
12. The law: You are not allowed to curse or swear in Michigan
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
This was true once upon a time.
13. The law: It is illegal to get married in Nebraska if you have gonorrhea.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
14. The law: It is illegal to ask for “extra guac” at Chipotles in New Mexico.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
Nah, THAT LAW WOULD BE CRIMINAL.
15. The law: Closed-toed shoes must be worn within a mile of any Church in Utah.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
16. The law: In North Carolina you cannot play bingo for more than 5 hours, unless it’s at a fair.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
Really. Section 14-308.8.
17. The law: It is illegal to pretend to see Brad Pitt in public in Oklahoma
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
18. The law: In South Carolina, you must be 18 to use a pinball machine.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
19. The law: It is illegal to sell musical instruments on Sundays in South Carolina.
Macey J. Foronda / BuzzFeed
Hide
Click to reveal
Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/josh-duhamel-and-dean-winters-play-law-or-not-a-law
Cuteness break: Help name Greta Van Susteren’s new puppy
http://twitter.com/#!/gretawire/status/213403747328602112
Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/06/14/cuteness-break-help-name-greta-van-susterens-new-puppy/
Bad Luck Brian
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Dylan Ratigan to leave MSNBC, people suggest he shouldn’t let door hit him on the way out
http://twitter.com/#!/LizHeathdale/status/211952347667116033
Dylan Ratigan is leaving MSNBC and Martin Bashir will take his time slot. Criminy.
Evidently, this was to be kept secret until a report at The New York Times scooped them.
After I started snooping around, Ratigan and MSNBC decided to confirm the news today. http://t.co/C1EtX7Az
— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) June 10, 2012
Phil Griffin, the president of MSNBC, said in an internal memorandum Sunday afternoon that Mr. Ratigan “has decided to pursue new opportunities and will be ending his role as a full-time host.”
“Dylan’s distinct voice and his fearless approach to tackling complicated issues has been a key part of MSNBC’s growth and success,” Mr. Griffin added.
Mr. Ratigan said he would keep in touch with viewers through his personal Web site, DylanRatigan.com, which includes a campaign-style e-mail list. “Basically my plan is to meet with tons of people, learn from tons of people, and then figure out a way to take the narrative I’ve been talking about, and show the most effective ways to resolve it.”
Huh? Is that like the media version of a politician not seeking reelection to “spend more time with his family?” In any event, we hope his website garners more viewers than MSNBC!
His send-off on Twitter was slightly tepid, to say the least. Mostly, people just warned that he shouldn’t let the door hit him where the sun don’t shine on the way out.
The NYT piece on Ratigan leaving #MSNBC has more words in it than the # of viewers he had in his three years hosting that show #tcot #p2 #PU
— Michi I. (@michi83) June 10, 2012
I'm so glad Dylan Ratigan is leaving @MSNBC all that yelling talking loud & saying nothing..
— Pookie✌ (@poegie59) June 10, 2012
(busted link) YAY!!!! though #DontLetTheDoorHitYa RT @DylanByers: Dylan Ratigan to leave MSNBC
— Clio the Leo (@CliotheLeo) June 10, 2012
https://twitter.com/Capit0lism/status/211952912270757889
“@UncleBill25: Please take Joe and Mika with you. RT "@demsforprogress: Dylan Ratigan Leaving MSNBC at http://t.co/dbDS5y40."”Puleeze !!
— kathleen weil (@mainemama48) June 10, 2012
@DylanByers Who is this Ratigan and Bashir you speak of?
— Andy Lancaster (@andylancaster) June 10, 2012
Excellent. RT @owillis: Dylan Ratigan Out At MSNBC http://t.co/dlcmFtse
— Ian Actual (@iboudreau) June 10, 2012
Even Leftists on Twitter had few kind words, likely because he wasn’t quite Leftist enough. Mind-boggling.
RT @GottaLaff Dylan Ratigan is leaving MSNBC http://t.co/0btBZ8sT h/t: @42bkdodgr | The heat's on as election nears: no criticism of Dems
— Jeffrey Kaye (@jeff_kaye) June 10, 2012
@Limeylizzie We need a fighter like Martin Bashir and I had enough of these Glenn Greenwald Libertarian clones like Hayes & Dyaln ratigan.
— Jeff Gauvin (@JeffersonObama) June 10, 2012
See U @DylanRatigan U lost me months ago w/ your #Fake #Ass BS
— laura (@porsche4848) June 10, 2012
Aww. Maybe he can get a job with Keith Olbermann? Snicker.
One Twitter user had an excellent suggestion for Ratigan’s replacement, if that whole Bashir thing doesn’t work out.
#ReplacementsforDylanRatigan David Axelrod's combover
— Flora Duh (@FloraDuh1) June 10, 2012
Consult this! Happy warriors respond to the Panderpalooza offered by RNC
http://twitter.com/#!/DrewMTips/status/313651075347521536
Bingo! That cannot be repeated enough.
And look who loves it, by the way.
I very much appreciate the RNC’s stance on immigration reform. This is a major and constructive step forward for the Republican Party.
— Lindsey Graham (@GrahamBlog) March 18, 2013
That should tell you all you need to know about the RNC “growth and opportunity” plan, which equals Democrat Lite.
My biggest problem with #RNCAutopsy call for amnesty…it pretends the only (or even a major) problem in getting Hispanics is amnesty.
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) March 18, 2013
If you support amnesty on moral grounds, that’s a legitimate position but please stop selling it on unsupported electoral ones.
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) March 18, 2013
Lefties gleefully took up the hashtag #GOPautopsy, offering gems like this:
#GOPAutopsy recommendations: Allow 21st century textbooks back into science class. Use them in place of The Bible
— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 18, 2013
Yuk, yuk, yuk. But, some happy warriors have taken over the hashtag, as well as #RNCautopsy, in order to respond to the Panderpalooza offered by the RNC consultant class.
#GOPAutopsy Branding what you’re doing as ‘marketing’ instead of why your principles are important to our future. Jackasses.
— End of the Republic (@PointlessPol) March 18, 2013
Principles? There is pandering to do!
<cough…gay marriage…cough> we must change our tone — especially on certain social issues that are turning off young voters #GOPAutopsy
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) March 18, 2013
I love pt 10 in #GopAutopsy‘s outreach to women…Use Women’s History Month. It’s like they ran out of ideas but needed to get to ten.
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) March 18, 2013
Identity politics at its most absurd.
@gabrielmalor Right Gabe. Those are the two stops on the continuum. BTW- Aikin was a longtime GOP guy and not MO tea party choice.
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) March 18, 2013
The same consultant class who is running the @rnc into the ground are now guiding @reince and @gopleader how to be saved!
— Yossi Gestetner (@YossiGestetner) March 18, 2013
With things like “hackathons.” No, really.
“Priebus called for…opening an RNC office in SFO and holding hackathons to bolster relationships with developers” wapo.st/XUhQEI
— John J Czaplewski (@JJCzaplewski) March 18, 2013
Is that a party celebrating @seanhackbarth? RT @alexpappas: On tech, Priebus says: “i want to hold Hackathons in tech savvy cities.”
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) March 18, 2013
Heh. Other Twitter users tell the RNC to “consult this.”
@perrydkp @gop STOP listening to out of touch consultants… listen to Americans!We are FURIOUS WITH DEMOCRATS RIGHT NOW…CHANNEL IT!
— Katy (@KatyinIndy) March 18, 2013
All the speeches reports & consultants can’t change fact @gop @speakerboehner continue to Fund #Obamacare! @reince #OpportUnity
— Barbara McMahon (@southsalem) March 18, 2013
#gop consultants have convinced @rnc that solution to @gop issues are more consultants. a #pinterest page will win rhode island in 2016
— j (@davesmith3) March 18, 2013
@gop @reince Oy. Enough with the consultant-speak.
— American Cailín (@AmericanCailin) March 18, 2013
@lafayette41 Political Consultants are ruining GOP. Bring back the ‘kitchen cabinet’ instead of paid hacks.
— Karen Jones (@SnakebiteJones) March 18, 2013
@iowahawkblog Or, after the consultants ‘fundamentally transform’ the GOP, you could just go to one of their meetings.
— ginaR (@ggr1868) March 18, 2013
Drew at Ace of Spades pointed out the insider influx of the committee members.
It’s exactly the kind of thing you’d expect from a committee made up of a lobbyist, a long time RNC insider, a “veteran strangest and and top ally of Jeb Bush“, and a member of W. Bush’s team, Ari Fleischer. Only one member seems to have any grassroots credibility.
This is a pretty vanilla report. That would be fine because that’s what these things are. The problem is the RNC hyped it as some important moment in the history of the GOP’s renewal. Once again, they are over promising and under delivering. Stopping that bit of terrible marketing would be a major step in the right direction.
The best advice to the RNC? Get out of the beltway bubble.
#GOPAutopsy advice for @reince: Whatever seems like a good idea to DC Beltway dwellers, do the OPPOSITE if you are looking for what we want
— GWardHome (@gwardhome) March 18, 2013
Want to take a real step towards fixing the GOP? Move the RNC HQ out of DC and into Dallas or Pittsburgh.
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) March 18, 2013
Hell, Cleveland would be a better spot for the RNC than DC at this point. Actions, not reports.
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) March 18, 2013
And perhaps take a page from Sen. Cruz’s awesome book.
How do we win? We champion jobs, growth, and freedom. ICYMI, watch the full speech from #CPAC2013: c-spanvideo.org/program/311531…
— Senator Ted Cruz (@SenTedCruz) March 17, 2013
In a nutshell:
There’s one problem the #RNCAutopsy left unaddressed: The American people.
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) March 18, 2013
Funny, that. But, hey, branding!
Update: Something to bear in mind:
The Democratic Party just released it’s 2012 postmortem/strategy memo. It reads: “Lie until people believe it to be true.”
— Nathan Wurtzel (@NathanWurtzel) March 18, 2013
Precisely.