{"id":9020,"date":"2015-08-19T04:45:37","date_gmt":"2015-08-19T04:45:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.buzzfeed.com\/carolynkylstra\/this-is-gonna-hurt"},"modified":"2015-08-19T04:45:37","modified_gmt":"2015-08-19T04:45:37","slug":"9-ways-to-lose-10-pounds-in-less-than-a-week-or-faster","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/9020","title":{"rendered":"9 Ways To Lose 10 Pounds In Less Than A Week \u2014 Or Faster"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tGrab the hacksaw!<\/b>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n

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View this image ›<\/b><\/a><\/p>\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t

george tsartsianidis \/ Getty Images\/iStockphoto<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n
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\n1.<\/span> Cut off your left arm, and donate your liver.<\/h2>\t
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Here’s the thinking: Your liver is roughly 3.2 pounds (source<\/a>), and one arm is about 5.335% of your total body weight (another source<\/a>). For a 150-pound person, that means that an arm weighs about 8 pounds. SO, an arm and a liver together would add up to about 11 pounds!! YAAASS. Easy peasy!<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n

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\n2.<\/span> Lob off your right arm, and remove your brain.<\/h2>\t
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According to this illuminating and not-at-all sketchy article<\/a>, your brain weighs 3 pounds. We already know an arm is about 8 pounds… And boom bam bowwie, 11 pounds lost in NO TIME.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n

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View this image ›<\/b><\/a><\/p>\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t

Getty Images\/iStockphoto janulla<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n
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\n3.<\/span> Remove both feet, one hand, and both of your lungs.<\/h2>\t
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More fun with math<\/a>: foot (2 pounds) + foot (2 pounds) + hand (1 pound) + lungs (5 pounds, at 2.5 pounds each) = 10 POUNDS, POOF GONE.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n

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\n4.<\/span> Get rid of both kidneys (0.5 lbs), your small intestines (3.5), one lung (2.5), and your entire lower arm, from the elbow down (3.25). And then take a really big poo (about a pound, give or take).<\/h2>\t
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Source<\/a>, source<\/a>, source<\/a>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n

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View this image ›<\/b><\/a><\/p>\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t

Justine Zwiebel \/ BuzzFeed \/ Via buzzfeed.com<\/a>\n<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n
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\n5.<\/span> Remove all the skin from about half of your body.<\/h2>\t
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Your skin is about 16% of your body weight, according to this very reliable source*<\/a>. If you weigh 150 pounds, that’s 24 pounds!!!! About half of that is 12, which gets you past your goal.<\/p>\n

*Not actually reliable<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n

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\n6.<\/span> Remove the skin from the other half of your body.<\/h2>\t
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See above math.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n

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\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
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cheezburger.com<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

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cheezburger.com<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

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 <\/div>\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n
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\n7.<\/span> Off with one-half of one thigh!<\/h2>\t
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Source!<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n

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\n8.<\/span> Cleanly detach your head from your body.<\/h2>\t
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PERFECTION. Also, source<\/a>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n

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\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
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maudit.tumblr.com<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

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\n9.<\/span> Or you know what? Just don’t, actually. Don’t aim for a goal like this at all. Be good to yourself, instead.<\/h2>\t
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Aiming to lose X amount of weight in Y amount of time isn’t a healthy way to approach diet and weight management — and it’s also setting yourself up for failure<\/a>.<\/p>\n

If your goal is to lose weight for health-related reasons (say, you’re dealing with diabetes, high blood pressure, joint and back pain, or other such issues):<\/b> Work with your doctor and a registered dietitian or nutritionist to come up with an eating plan that meets your needs.<\/p>\n

If your goal is more along the lines of wanting to feel better in general:<\/b> Try to adopt some healthy living habits, rather than focusing on the number on the scale. Eat more yummy, healthy foods<\/a> that give you fuel and make you feel good and energized. Get plenty of exercise<\/a>, or at least make an effort to move and use your body each day, to whatever degree you can. You might get some motivation and ideas here<\/a>. And get good sleep each night. Some pointers to help you sleep better here<\/a>, if you need them.<\/p>\n

Weight loss might<\/i> happen as a result of making these lifestyle changes…but even if it doesn’t, you’ll still feel healthier, stronger, and more energized than you did when you started. And that’s a million times better than starving yourself, obsessing over every last calorie, and\/or chopping off body parts willy nilly, IMHO.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n

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View this image ›<\/b><\/a><\/p>\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t

Universal Pictures \/ Via youtube.com<\/a>\n<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n
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In case it wasn’t clear: Items 1 — 8 are pure sarcasm.<\/b> Do NOT chop off any of your body parts or remove your organs.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t<\/div>

Read more: http:\/\/www.buzzfeed.com\/carolynkylstra\/this-is-gonna-hurt<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Grab the hacksaw! View this image › george tsartsianidis \/ Getty Images\/iStockphoto 1. Cut off your left arm, and donate your liver. Here’s the thinking: Your liver is roughly 3.2 pounds (source), and one arm is about 5.335% of your total body weight (another source). For a 150-pound person, that means that an arm weighs … Continue reading 9 Ways To Lose 10 Pounds In Less Than A Week \u2014 Or Faster<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":9021,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[3842,4373,4374],"class_list":["post-9020","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety","tag-fitness","tag-healthy-living","tag-lose-weight"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/14399559373561-9-ways-to-lose-10-pounds-in-less-than-a-week-or-f-2-6358-1424210829-28_dblbig.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9020","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9020"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9020\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9021"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9020"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9020"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9020"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}