{"id":6200,"date":"2015-06-28T18:46:54","date_gmt":"2015-06-28T18:46:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twitchy.com\/2012\/09\/06\/lapdog-poetry-rick-klein-gushes-over-bill-clinton-with-junior-high-worthy-verse\/"},"modified":"2015-06-28T18:46:54","modified_gmt":"2015-06-28T18:46:54","slug":"abcs-rick-klein-gushes-over-bill-clinton-with-junior-high-worthyverse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/6200","title":{"rendered":"ABC’s Rick Klein gushes over Bill Clinton with junior high-worthy verse"},"content":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/rickklein\/status\/243551486867554304\n

Aw, bless his precious heart. Looks like ABC’s Rick Klein spent the summer sneaking clove cigarettes at creative writing sleep-away camp with the other aspiring teen poets. Courtney Stodden’s<\/a> got nothing on “real journalist” e.e. klein.<\/p>\n\n\n

Can the Junior School Poetry Enthusiasts finally retire the cliched "the hall, the speech, the crowd, one" gambit?<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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And if you're going to do it, realize 1, it's been done a thousand times before, 2, it sounds silly and precious, so 3, PUT SOME WORK IN IT<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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The Twitterverse stepped up to offer the Bard of A-BC-von some constructive criticism of his poetic leg tingle for Bill Clinton.<\/p>\n\n\n

Yoko Ono hacked ur account, dude. RT @rickklein<\/a> this speech was a living, breathing organism. the crowd, the hall, the speech, one. #DNC2012<\/a><\/p>\n

— jon gabriel (@exjon) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Anyone else need a cigarette? MT @rickklein<\/a>: this speech was a living, breathing organism. the crowd, the hall, the speech, one.<\/p>\n

— Tammy Bruce (@HeyTammyBruce) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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And journalism died…RT @rickklein<\/a> this speech was a living, breathing organism. the crowd, the hall, the speech, one. #DNC2012<\/a><\/p>\n

— This Will Kill You (@stephenkruiser) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Someone actually wrote this ==>> RT @rickklein<\/a>: this speech was a living, breathing organism. the crowd, the hall, the speech, one. #DNC2012<\/a><\/p>\n

— Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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#50ShadesOfBillClinton<\/a> RT @rickklein<\/a>: this speech was a living, breathing organism. the crowd, the hall, the speech, one. #DNC2012<\/a><\/p>\n

— Marta Evry (@venice4change) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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https:\/\/twitter.com\/RileyRebel129\/status\/243591438204555264<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n

#ClintonPickUpLines<\/a> RT @rickklein<\/a>: this speech was a living, breathing organism. the crowd, the hall, the speech, one. #DNC2012<\/a><\/p>\n

— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Blogger Ace of Spades generously offered his services as a creative writing coach to the starry-eyed lapdog, complete with hilarious examples of Rick Kleinery. The brutal mockery was a living, breathing organism.<\/p>\n\n\n

The media knocks Eastwood but is full of crap like "this speech was a living, breathing organism. the crowd, the hall, the speech, one."<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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It was a dark and stormy night. Bill Clinton took the podium. The hall became an organism, breathing, sensing, knowing as one.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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A shot rang out. The maid screamed. The undifferentiated protoplasm of the DNC extended one tentative pseudopod out to the world.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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RAF Major @rickklein<\/a> observed the shimmering, quavering jelly of the DNC with one eyebrow arched. "By Jove, this thing pulses with life!"<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Meanwhile, in Scandenavia, a dreamy-eyed scut-girl sensed a new life aborning across the salty ocean.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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scut-girl? What the hell is that? What am I thinking? Scullery wench or something I guess.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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The scut-girl, a bonny lass named Agmar Akennokker, wistfully thought of her absent husband, a strapping young gimp by the name of Knarl.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Meanwhile, RAF Major @rickklein<\/a> alerted the National Center For Detection & Study of Living, Breathing Organisms, One.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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A horse whinnied. A meteor shined. Various parts from the end of "Knights in White Satin" occurred around now.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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The crowd thrilled. Then each member of it began extending polyps of nervous tissue into each other's brains, becoming one with The Speech.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Meanwhile, in Scandenavia, Agmar thought wistfully of her handsome, gog-eyed pinhead Knarl.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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She thought of how she could stare into his confident, reassuring wall-eye forever.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Meanwhile, the polyps of spongiform brain-matter thickened and throbbed with rising anticipation. Would Clinton defend ObamaCare…?<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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The viscous strands of NuFlesh that now connected each delegate to one another began to undulate and thrum. A mighty Gloppening was at hand.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! Agmar hoped her handsome husband, the ruggedly mutated Knarl, was safe at the helm.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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The convention became a hot mass of pulsating hyperfecundity, sprouting a torrent of neoplasms in a riot of shapes and dimensionalities.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Agmar cast her gaze to the ship's deck– beautiful Knarl, with one arm so strong and hale, the other shaped like a bowling pin, was absent.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Bill Clinton stood at the podium, proud. Unbowed. Defiant. Squamous.<\/p>\n

— iLoveScienceSexually (@AceofSpadesHQ) September 6, 2012<\/a><\/p>\n

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Look out Reader’s Digest poets. Ace of Spades is unbowed. Defiant. Squamous. We may have just experienced a Gloppening.<\/p>

Read more: http:\/\/twitchy.com\/2012\/09\/06\/lapdog-poetry-rick-klein-gushes-over-bill-clinton-with-junior-high-worthy-verse\/<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

http:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/rickklein\/status\/243551486867554304 Aw, bless his precious heart. Looks like ABC’s Rick Klein spent the summer sneaking clove cigarettes at creative writing sleep-away camp with the other aspiring teen poets. Courtney Stodden’s got nothing on “real journalist” e.e. klein. Can the Junior School Poetry Enthusiasts finally retire the cliched "the hall, the speech, the crowd, one" gambit? — … Continue reading ABC’s Rick Klein gushes over Bill Clinton with junior high-worthy verse<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6201,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6200","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/14354632187181-bad-poetry.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6200","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6200"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6200\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6201"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6200"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6200"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6200"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}