{"id":152193,"date":"2024-03-03T14:44:13","date_gmt":"2024-03-03T19:44:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/152193"},"modified":"2024-03-03T14:44:13","modified_gmt":"2024-03-03T19:44:13","slug":"21-tips-to-beat-anxiety-with-dr-dawn-elise-snipes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/152193","title":{"rendered":"21 Tips to Beat Anxiety with Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes"},"content":{"rendered":"
https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=kcZXl0Yr-QU<\/div>00:00:01<\/a>Hi everybody and welcome to happiness and brain\u00a0 surgery with dr dawn elise snipes practical tools to improve\u00a0\u00a0 your mood and quality of life today we’re going to\u00a0 be talking about 21 practical tips to beat anxiety\u00a0\u00a0 this is based on a book that i’ve got\u00a0 coming out in two months it’s in the\u00a0\u00a000:00:17<\/a>in press right now happiness isn’t brain surgery\u00a0 100 plus practical tips to beat anxiety so look\u00a0\u00a0 for that to be released in june of 2018 so not\u00a0 too long now we’re going to go over 21 of the tips\u00a0\u00a0 that are in that book right now to give you an\u00a0 idea of some things that you can start doing now\u00a0\u00a000:00:39<\/a>instead of having to wait till june to deal with\u00a0 your anxiety so the first one and i’ve talked\u00a0\u00a0 about this in different situations is learning the\u00a0 difference between emotional and factual reasoning\u00a0\u00a0 just because you may feel anxious doesn’t mean\u00a0 that it’s necessarily a threatening or dangerous\u00a0\u00a000:00:57<\/a>situation when i get ready to go to a social\u00a0 function i get a little bit butterfly in my\u00a0\u00a0 stomach i get a little bit of anxiety i’m not one\u00a0 to do mixers so i get a little bit of anxiety but\u00a0\u00a0 emotional reasoning would mean that i’m thinking\u00a0 about all the reasons that i need to be scared\u00a0\u00a000:01:20<\/a>before i go into that situation\u00a0 factual reasoning is backing up and\u00a0\u00a0 thinking factually about the situation i’m going\u00a0 to this mixer there’s a lot of other people there\u00a0\u00a0 many of them probably feel like me um and you\u00a0 know this is what i’m going to do the facts of\u00a0\u00a000:01:37<\/a>the matter are that it doesn’t have to be scary\u00a0 nobody at the mixer is going to try to embarrass\u00a0\u00a0 me or humiliate me um any potential perceived\u00a0 threats are pretty much all in my own head\u00a0\u00a0 so it’s important to separate emotional from\u00a0 factual learn to differentiate what’s actually\u00a0\u00a000:01:56<\/a>happening happening from what you’re currently\u00a0 thinking about sometimes you can be going in\u00a0\u00a0 and doing something and thinking about the worst\u00a0 possible scenario thinking that the sky is going\u00a0\u00a0 to fall for example and in reality it’s not that\u00a0 bad when we have a storm come through for example\u00a0\u00a000:02:18<\/a>last year we had a significant portion of our\u00a0 fence blown down in a storm that came through\u00a0\u00a0 which is kind of a big deal when you’ve got you\u00a0 know equines and chickens and ducks and everybody\u00a0\u00a0 to keep contained and it kind of freaked me out a\u00a0 little bit so now when we have a storm i can get a\u00a0\u00a000:02:38<\/a>little bit anxious at first and i need to remember\u00a0 you know what’s actually happening right now is\u00a0\u00a0 it’s a storm it’s no big deal we’ve had hundreds\u00a0 of them factual and what’s happening now not\u00a0\u00a0 what i’m currently thinking about which is what\u00a0 happened last year so i need to get my head out of\u00a0\u00a000:02:54<\/a>the past because the past is the past and there’s\u00a0 no nothing saying that it has to ever occur again\u00a0\u00a0 so focusing on what is actually happening now if\u00a0 you’ve been in a car accident before for example\u00a0\u00a0 then you might get stressed out when you’re in\u00a0 heavy traffic again what is actually happening\u00a0\u00a000:03:15<\/a>now yes traffic is heavy but you’re safe you’ve\u00a0 got good distance between you and the people in\u00a0\u00a0 front of you you know if you feel the need to\u00a0 you can get all the way over into the right\u00a0\u00a0 lane so you have an exit strategy should you feel\u00a0 like it’s getting too you know claustrophobic or\u00a0\u00a000:03:32<\/a>something but that’s what’s happening now you’re\u00a0 not currently in danger you’re just going with the\u00a0\u00a0 flow the third thing you can do is try to prove\u00a0 yourself wrong show yourself that your thoughts\u00a0\u00a0 have no basis in truth so if you’re worried about\u00a0 you know a rash you’ve got go to the doctor and\u00a0\u00a000:03:50<\/a>confirm that you aren’t dying of some incurable\u00a0 disease which is what you may be thinking about\u00a0\u00a0 or ask someone how they feel about you if you\u00a0 don’t know so if you’re wondering if so-and-so\u00a0\u00a0 hates you instead of stressing about it ask them\u00a0 you know prove yourself wrong or right but at\u00a0\u00a000:04:08<\/a>least you’ll have an answer you’ll have a factual\u00a0 answer not just an emotion based answer don’t live\u00a0\u00a0 in the gray area when answers are available\u00a0 to you sometimes there aren’t any answers\u00a0\u00a0 sometimes you have a gray area but if there are\u00a0 answers available get them so you can let go of\u00a0\u00a000:04:25<\/a>that anxiety or deal with it and move on number\u00a0 four is stop trying to navigate the path while the\u00a0\u00a0 hallway is dark you know that old saying that when\u00a0 one door closes another door opens and the follow\u00a0\u00a0 on to that is but those hallways are a [ __ ]\u00a0 yeah um it’s dark before that other door opens and\u00a0\u00a000:04:45<\/a>the first one is closed you’re in a dark hallway\u00a0 that’s okay you know don’t try to make decisions\u00a0\u00a0 when the hallway is dark when you can’t see what’s\u00a0 going on and this is what happens when you’re\u00a0\u00a0 upset you kind of get tunnel vision when you get\u00a0 a lot of adrenaline going through your system you\u00a0\u00a000:05:01<\/a>get tunnel vision and that can make things dark it\u00a0 can make it harder to see all of your options so\u00a0\u00a0 wait until you’re less upset get in your wise mind\u00a0 before you make any life-altering decisions you\u00a0\u00a0 know you may decide when you’re upset something\u00a0 bad happens at work you’re anxious about something\u00a0\u00a000:05:21<\/a>you may decide that you need to go on a walk okay\u00a0 that’s fine but when you’re anxious and upset\u00a0\u00a0 and right in the midst of it it’s not the time\u00a0 to say well i’m going to quit my job no no the\u00a0\u00a0 hallway’s dark you need to be able to look at what\u00a0 are at least three options that you can consider\u00a0\u00a000:05:41<\/a>when you are trying to figure out what to do\u00a0 number five is to unhook from your emotions\u00a0\u00a0 instead of saying i am terrified say i am having\u00a0 the thought that i’m terrified and you may think\u00a0\u00a0 to yourself you know whatever you know that’s\u00a0 just semantics but think about it this way\u00a0\u00a000:06:01<\/a>if you are a smoker for example or you like\u00a0 chocolate cake if you think to yourself i have\u00a0\u00a0 to have a piece of chocolate cake or i have to\u00a0 have a cigarette it feels like it has to be done\u00a0\u00a0 you know there’s just no question if you say to\u00a0 yourself i’m having the thought that i have to\u00a0\u00a000:06:20<\/a>have a piece of chocolate cake or a cigarette\u00a0 then that thought you can choose to act on\u00a0\u00a0 or not act on so it’s separating it and making\u00a0 it so it’s something that you can put away fire can burn your house down or it can cook your\u00a0 dinner each night and keep you warm in the winter\u00a0\u00a000:06:41<\/a>which means it can be bad or it can be good your\u00a0 mind is the same way will you let it burn you out\u00a0\u00a0 and cause you to feel helpless and hopeless\u00a0 just spinning around with anxiety and what ifs\u00a0\u00a0 and oh my goodnesses or will it help you\u00a0 turn into macgyver and whenever you face\u00a0\u00a000:07:00<\/a>a challenge or something that makes you anxious\u00a0 it will help you view that as a challenge and\u00a0\u00a0 find creative solutions your mind can\u00a0 do either one it can keep you spinning\u00a0\u00a0 you know i don’t know if you know the younger\u00a0 people listening may remember sitting spins\u00a0\u00a000:07:18<\/a>we had those when i was little you sat on this\u00a0 little disc and you turned and you just spun\u00a0\u00a0 around in it in the same place until you got\u00a0 dizzy and that’s all it did and that’s what\u00a0\u00a0 happens when we get stuck with our emotions\u00a0 we’re on our own little personal sit and spin\u00a0\u00a000:07:33<\/a>it’s not going to do any any good\u00a0 except for make us sick to our stomach\u00a0\u00a0 now if we take that energy and instead of sitting\u00a0 and spinning we use it to address the challenge\u00a0\u00a0 and view it as a problem that can be solved then\u00a0 we’re going to make some more forward progress00:07:54<\/a>number seven realize that thoughts can be merely\u00a0 illusions think about all the things that you’ve\u00a0\u00a0 thought about and worried about that have turned\u00a0 out to be nothing at all you know you got yourself\u00a0\u00a0 all in a tizzy over nothing think of all the time\u00a0 you wasted preparing for outcomes that would never\u00a0\u00a000:08:13<\/a>happen the what ifs i mean i’m i’ll admit i’m bad\u00a0 i’m one of those people who usually has not only\u00a0\u00a0 a plan b but also a plan c but i stop at plan\u00a0 c i know people who have planned d e and f and\u00a0\u00a0 you know that takes a lot of time and energy to\u00a0 have all those backup plans so in the future when\u00a0\u00a000:08:33<\/a>you start to worry ask yourself if what you’re\u00a0 worried about is factual and probable so if\u00a0\u00a0 you’re getting ready to go take an exam um you\u00a0 know you can worry that you’re going to fail it\u00a0\u00a0 but you know that’s a lot of worry and you\u00a0 can start figuring out what you’re going to\u00a0\u00a000:08:51<\/a>do if you fail that test which means you’re\u00a0 probably going to fail the class which means\u00a0\u00a0 you can work yourself up into this whole\u00a0 catastrophic situation or you can say is\u00a0\u00a0 it factual is it probable that i’m going to fail\u00a0 this exam well if you’ve done what you needed to\u00a0\u00a000:09:08<\/a>probably not when you when people go in to have\u00a0 their hiv test done there’s typically a lot of\u00a0\u00a0 anxiety going in to do that and so people can\u00a0 get really worried and start coming up with\u00a0\u00a0 all these plans of how they’re gonna tell people\u00a0 and what they’re gonna do if they’re positive and\u00a0\u00a000:09:27<\/a>what they’re gonna how life will change and all\u00a0 this kind of stuff and they get their results\u00a0\u00a0 back in their negative and they expended amazing\u00a0 amounts of energy planning for the worst case\u00a0\u00a0 scenario so sometimes especially if there’s\u00a0 an answer to it you know you’re not living\u00a0\u00a000:09:44<\/a>in the gray area you’re getting ready to get the\u00a0 answer sometimes you have to be patient and just\u00a0\u00a0 have faith that you will be able to handle\u00a0 whatever the answer is otherwise you could be\u00a0\u00a0 going in the completely wrong direction with with\u00a0 your plans follow it to the end is number eight\u00a0\u00a000:10:05<\/a>think about whatever you’re worried about then\u00a0 imagine realistically what will happen and follow\u00a0\u00a0 it to its conclusion your boss leaves a message on\u00a0 your desk that he needs to talk to you on monday\u00a0\u00a0 at 9am be in his office well that can be a\u00a0 little bit intimidating no matter who you are\u00a0\u00a000:10:24<\/a>if your boss is doing that and then\u00a0 you’ve got all weekend to worry about it\u00a0\u00a0 so imagine realistically what’s going to happen\u00a0 so think about you know have you been doing your\u00a0\u00a0 job have you been a decent employee all right are\u00a0 things does the business seem to be going well or\u00a0\u00a000:10:39<\/a>are they laying people off realistically is he\u00a0 going to call you in individually if he’s going\u00a0\u00a0 to do layoffs no so going through all those\u00a0 things in the in your head you can figure out\u00a0\u00a0 with reasonable accuracy what is likely going to\u00a0 happen um and at least whether the worst thing\u00a0\u00a000:11:01<\/a>is likely going to happen if you go through those\u00a0 things and you say yeah i’ve been being a good\u00a0\u00a0 employee i’ve been on time i’ve done all these\u00a0 things the business is doing well you know i\u00a0\u00a0 don’t think there’s anything that i could\u00a0 be in trouble for so i don’t know what he\u00a0\u00a000:11:17<\/a>wants wish i did but i don’t and then you can\u00a0 distract yourself for the rest of the weekend\u00a0\u00a0 because you follow it to its conclusion if there’s\u00a0 nothing major that you’ve done wrong then likely\u00a0\u00a0 you’re not going to lose your job likely you’re\u00a0 not going to get demoted none of those awful\u00a0\u00a000:11:36<\/a>things are going to happen likely you will meet\u00a0 with him and he’ll say whatever he has to say\u00a0\u00a0 and then you’ll go on about your business if you\u00a0 stick with fact-based probable scenarios you will\u00a0\u00a0 often find that the outcome is not that scary you\u00a0 know if you look over it and you go yeah i’ve been\u00a0\u00a000:11:56<\/a>late six days out of the last 15 and i haven’t\u00a0 gotten my work done in a month well then yeah you\u00a0\u00a0 probably need to make some plans but at this point\u00a0 there’s nothing much that you can do to change it\u00a0\u00a0 change what whatever he’s got to say so being\u00a0 aware of what is likely and probable to happen\u00a0\u00a000:12:22<\/a>remember the average person has over 50 000\u00a0 thoughts every day heck i had four thoughts\u00a0\u00a0 before i even got out of bed this morning i woke\u00a0 up and i’ve got a foster kitty staying in my room\u00a0\u00a0 and my first thought was where’s vicki and then\u00a0 she was up on my bed and my second thought was\u00a0\u00a000:12:39<\/a>that’s different she’s you know sitting\u00a0 on my feet instead of on her pillow\u00a0\u00a0 and my third thought was i don’t really want\u00a0 to get out of bed this morning and you know\u00a0\u00a0 just kept going on fifty thousand thoughts\u00a0 some are happy some are sad some are fearful\u00a0\u00a000:12:57<\/a>if you were asked how many of your fifty\u00a0 thousand thoughts you remember today\u00a0\u00a0 it’s likely going to be less than a hundred\u00a0 you know you can remember that you thought\u00a0\u00a0 about what to eat for breakfast you can remember\u00a0 that you decided whether or not to go to the gym\u00a0\u00a000:13:11<\/a>you know those are thoughts that you can probably\u00a0 think back and remember but if you really had\u00a0\u00a0 to start thinking you know i bet you would be\u00a0 hard-pressed to come up with more than a hundred so you’re going to have some scary thoughts\u00a0 that’s okay let them go thoughts are just\u00a0\u00a000:13:30<\/a>illusions they come in and they go out it’s kind\u00a0 of like think about clouds if you’ve ever made\u00a0\u00a0 cloud pictures cloud pictures um you know you’re\u00a0 laying on your back you’re watching the clouds and\u00a0\u00a0 they morph into something and it’s a dinosaur\u00a0 or a whale or something and that’s awesome\u00a0\u00a000:13:47<\/a>and it’s it it’s exciting and then it turns into\u00a0 something else our thoughts are the same way\u00a0\u00a0 you know they don’t have to stay stuck in anxiety\u00a0\u00a0 ride the wave is number 10. and we’ve talked\u00a0 about this one before feelings come peak in\u00a0\u00a000:14:04<\/a>about 20 minutes and subside just like waves come\u00a0 in and crest and and go out unless you feed them\u00a0\u00a0 if you’re anxious and you start thinking about\u00a0 all the reasons you need to be anxious and you\u00a0\u00a0 start thinking about all the possible worst case\u00a0 scenarios that could happen or what if in yourself\u00a0\u00a000:14:24<\/a>you’re going to stay stuck you’re feeding that\u00a0 anxiety you know imagine if you’ve ever played um\u00a0\u00a0 don’t cut the rope the little green monster on\u00a0 that he’s so cute but imagine feeding him imagine\u00a0\u00a0 that to your anxiety monster and every time you\u00a0 have a catastrophic thought you’re just feeding\u00a0\u00a000:14:42<\/a>him and giving him energy if you ride the wave\u00a0 acknowledge that you’re anxious you know but if\u00a0\u00a0 your boss leaves that note on your desk you may be\u00a0 anxious so all weekend periodically you may have\u00a0\u00a0 that thought i wonder what my boss wants to talk\u00a0 to me about you know that’s kind of intimidating\u00a0\u00a000:15:00<\/a>acknowledge it say that’s that’s\u00a0 stressful i’m anxious about that\u00a0\u00a0 but there’s nothing i can do about it right now\u00a0 and what can you do to improve the next moment\u00a0\u00a0 and focusing on that and dwelling on it\u00a0 is not going to improve the next moment\u00a0\u00a000:15:15<\/a>so ride the wave let your feelings come in\u00a0 acknowledge them go do something distract\u00a0\u00a0 yourself you’ll check in a few minutes later\u00a0 and you’ll go what you’ll probably say you\u00a0\u00a0 know what i don’t feel as stressed out right now\u00a0 you know it’s that feeling’s starting to go away\u00a0\u00a000:15:33<\/a>now some feelings like grief can linger for a\u00a0 while you know i’m not saying that all feelings\u00a0\u00a0 are going to come in and go out but anxiety\u00a0 is one of those that if we start looking at\u00a0\u00a0 the positive if we start looking at the facts\u00a0 if we start really evaluating the situation\u00a0\u00a000:15:51<\/a>instead of using emotion-based reasoning and\u00a0 worst case scenarios our anxiety can go away don’t swat the bee and this is another one that\u00a0 i’ve talked about in some of the other podcasts\u00a0\u00a0 our urges are what happen when we have a feeling\u00a0 and we want it to go away when you have that\u00a0\u00a000:16:13<\/a>feeling of anxiety you want to make it stop it’s\u00a0 unpleasant it’s like when a bee lands on your arm\u00a0\u00a0 you want it to go away because you’re afraid\u00a0 it’s gonna sting you and that’s gonna hurt\u00a0\u00a0 so you wanna your urge is to swat at it to\u00a0 get it to get off of you well if you swat\u00a0\u00a000:16:30<\/a>at it you’re increasing the likelihood that it’s\u00a0 going to sting you most of the time it won’t so\u00a0\u00a0 just like you let the bee fly off on his own and\u00a0 everybody’s happy when you have anxiety don’t act\u00a0\u00a0 impulsively don’t do the first thing that comes\u00a0 to mind to make the anxiety stop because a lot\u00a0\u00a000:16:52<\/a>of times that’s not going to be your best choice\u00a0 let yourself get rid of some of the adrenaline\u00a0\u00a0 get into your wise mind think of three options\u00a0 for how to handle this situation and then choose\u00a0\u00a0 from there by the time you do all that stuff the\u00a0 adrenaline is gone down but until you can think of\u00a0\u00a000:17:11<\/a>three potential options or scenarios\u00a0 then you’re still in that adrenaline haze\u00a0\u00a0 embrace the dialectics as number 12. try to figure\u00a0 out how two seemingly contradictory things can\u00a0\u00a0 be true such as this relationship i’m in may end\u00a0 you know it can’t some people get really anxious\u00a0\u00a000:17:33<\/a>that they’re going to be abandoned or that\u00a0 a relationship’s going to end and it may\u00a0\u00a0 end but you can also be okay you know and both of\u00a0 those things can be true it’s hard to imagine but\u00a0\u00a0 both of them can be true somebody could be\u00a0 anxious that they’re going to lose their job\u00a0\u00a000:17:51<\/a>and you know because there are a bunch of\u00a0 layoffs happening at the company so they\u00a0\u00a0 could start having a lot of stress about that\u00a0 but remembering that they could still lose their\u00a0\u00a0 job but it doesn’t mean they’ll lose their family\u00a0 they’ll still have their family they’ll still have\u00a0\u00a000:18:05<\/a>other things that are important to them so\u00a0 remembering and embracing the dialectics\u00a0\u00a0 there are going to be some bad things but those\u00a0 bad things will be balanced by good things and\u00a0\u00a0 can even create opportunities if you lose your job\u00a0 maybe you’ll be in a better one that’s more secure\u00a0\u00a000:18:26<\/a>look for opportunity in the angst worry tells you\u00a0 that something might need to change if you’re in a\u00a0\u00a0 relationship and you’re worried that it’s going to\u00a0 end that tells me that there’s something going on\u00a0\u00a0 either it’s an unhealthy relationship or the\u00a0 communication is poor or you’ve got some stuff\u00a0\u00a000:18:45<\/a>that you need to deal with something is going\u00a0 on that’s making you feel either unlovable or\u00a0\u00a0 feel like the relationship is going to end so\u00a0 that’s what worry tells you okay well that’s fine\u00a0\u00a0 thank you for alerting me to the fact that\u00a0 something might need to change mr worry monster\u00a0\u00a000:19:04<\/a>now what’s the opportunity how can i embrace this\u00a0 and say what can i do to improve this situation\u00a0\u00a0 opportunities make up the majority of the iceberg\u00a0 that is in in the reality you don’t yet know and\u00a0\u00a0 can’t yet see so if you’re in this relationship\u00a0 and it ends you know that’s the tip of the iceberg\u00a0\u00a000:19:26<\/a>and that’s the thing you don’t really want to\u00a0 know about and you don’t really want to see and\u00a0\u00a0 that’s the awful thing the elephant in the middle\u00a0 of the room so to speak but underneath the water\u00a0\u00a0 the bottom of that iceberg is much much bigger\u00a0 and it’s all the opportunities that wait for you\u00a0\u00a000:19:42<\/a>now that you’re not in that relationship so\u00a0 how can this be an opportunity for you to grow\u00a0\u00a0 to meet someone new to explore something to\u00a0 maybe get a job somewhere else and move to\u00a0\u00a0 a different state start over again who knows what\u00a0 are the opportunities number 14 is to change your\u00a0\u00a000:20:03<\/a>objective the goal shouldn’t be to feel good all\u00a0 the time nobody’s going to feel good all the time\u00a0\u00a0 the goal is to be able to express a healthy range\u00a0 of emotion without suppressing it or suffering\u00a0\u00a0 you know if you don’t have any days when\u00a0 you’re sad that mean likely means you don’t\u00a0\u00a000:20:22<\/a>have anything that’s important to you that you’ve\u00a0 lost and you know things that are important to us\u00a0\u00a0 we occasionally lose we lose pets we lose you\u00a0 know whatever relationships we lose people\u00a0\u00a0 people die we lose jobs we lose hopes we lose\u00a0 dreams we lose things and when we lose those\u00a0\u00a000:20:44<\/a>things we’re going to feel sad that’s your\u00a0 brain’s way of saying that was important\u00a0\u00a0 we’re gonna miss that okay you know so acknowledge\u00a0 it experience it and improve the next moment\u00a0\u00a0 you don’t have to feel good all the time matter\u00a0 of fact if you felt good all the time it wouldn’t\u00a0\u00a000:21:01<\/a>be that rewarding you’d just be like yeah this\u00a0 is normal now if you have occasional sad days\u00a0\u00a0 and occasionally get a little bit irritable then\u00a0 when you feel happy you’re like oh i like this\u00a0\u00a0 we’ll we’ll do this for quite a while so you feel\u00a0 a difference and you feel that depth of emotion\u00a0\u00a000:21:20<\/a>remember yin and yang and if you look at it\u00a0 you have the circle and then the little you\u00a0\u00a0 know apostrophe looking things that are together\u00a0 but in each one there’s a little bit of the other\u00a0\u00a0 in yin there’s a little bit of yang and in\u00a0 yang there’s a little bit of yin you can’t have\u00a0\u00a000:21:37<\/a>pure happiness you know there’s always going to\u00a0 be a little bit of stuff that’s not going quite\u00a0\u00a0 right or not exactly the way you want but it\u00a0 doesn’t mean you can’t be the majority of happy\u00a0\u00a0 when there’s unpleasantness and it\u00a0 can feel like there’s a lot of it\u00a0\u00a000:21:53<\/a>but if you look in that unpleasantness\u00a0 there’s going to be a little bit of happiness\u00a0\u00a0 a little bit of opportunity a little\u00a0 bit of something to be grateful for\u00a0\u00a0 so it’s embracing the depth and quality of those\u00a0 emotions recognizing that okay anxiety is is on\u00a0\u00a000:22:12<\/a>kind of on the dark side how can we turn this\u00a0 into an opportunity to learn and to grow and\u00a0\u00a0 express the full range of emotions develop\u00a0 hardiness commitment control and challenge\u00a0\u00a0 heartiness means that you understand that there\u00a0 are dozens of things that make your life rich and\u00a0\u00a000:22:32<\/a>meaningful and you’re committed to those things\u00a0 now occasionally one of those is going to go wonky\u00a0\u00a0 and you’re gonna have to deal with it but\u00a0 while you’re dealing with that wonky thing\u00a0\u00a0 the other 11 things or more in your life that make\u00a0 it rich and meaningful and that you’re committed\u00a0\u00a000:22:50<\/a>to they’re still going well so for example if\u00a0 work starts to go a little bit haywire and you’re\u00a0\u00a0 unhappy at your job all right you got to deal with\u00a0 that but it’s allowing you to put a roof over your\u00a0\u00a0 head and you you like your house it’s allowing\u00a0 you to put food on the table and feed your family\u00a0\u00a000:23:09<\/a>you’ll love your family they’re really important\u00a0 so your commitment to all those things makes life\u00a0\u00a0 worth living even though this thing over\u00a0 here not going so well right now control\u00a0\u00a0 is the second part of it once you’re looking\u00a0 at all those things that you’re committed to\u00a0\u00a000:23:27<\/a>most of them you don’t have a hundred percent\u00a0 control over that’s just life so focusing only\u00a0\u00a0 on the things that you have control over if you\u00a0 try to change things you don’t have control over\u00a0\u00a0 you’re going to make yourself depressed\u00a0 anxious upset irritable so don’t do it\u00a0\u00a000:23:46<\/a>ask yourself is this something i actually\u00a0 can control we can’t control other people we\u00a0\u00a0 can’t control other people’s reactions we can\u00a0 control what we do you know the person who is\u00a0\u00a0 worried that he’s going to get laid off or\u00a0 fired you know they he can’t control whether\u00a0\u00a000:24:04<\/a>the business is doing well he can’t control what\u00a0 his colleagues are doing all he can control is\u00a0\u00a0 whether he goes to work gets there on time\u00a0 and does his job that part is in his control um irrational thoughts it’s important\u00a0 to think about irrational thoughts as\u00a0\u00a000:24:27<\/a>something your brain is telling you that’s kind\u00a0 of extreme like i must be loved by everybody all\u00a0\u00a0 the time or the world is going to end oftentimes\u00a0 irrational thoughts are products of traumas that\u00a0\u00a0 you’ve yet to fully acknowledge or deal with\u00a0 so if you grew up in a chaotic home environment\u00a0\u00a000:24:48<\/a>and you have a lot of anxiety about\u00a0 relationships ending and people abandoning you\u00a0\u00a0 you may have some irrational thoughts that\u00a0 are telling you that you’re not lovable or\u00a0\u00a0 you’re going to be abandoned that stem from that\u00a0 childhood trauma so when you start getting anxious\u00a0\u00a000:25:06<\/a>you need to ask yourself what am i\u00a0 afraid of and why am i afraid of it\u00a0\u00a0 what is this really a threat right now so what\u00a0 am i afraid of this relationship ending why\u00a0\u00a0 am i afraid of it because i don’t want to be\u00a0 abandoned um is this really a threat right now\u00a0\u00a000:25:27<\/a>when you’re six fearing that a parent is going\u00a0 to abandon you is threatening when you are 26\u00a0\u00a0 fearing that a relationship is going to end\u00a0 you know it’s unpleasant but you can still\u00a0\u00a0 feed yourself you can meet new people you can\u00a0 go go on about your life so it’s likely not as00:25:48<\/a>imperative that you maintain that relationship\u00a0 so you know think about when you start getting\u00a0\u00a0 anxious is this a reaction caused by something\u00a0 in my past or is this a reaction to something\u00a0\u00a0 that’s going on now except the fact that everyone\u00a0 everywhere has weird incorrect disturbing thoughts\u00a0\u00a000:26:13<\/a>that have no bearing on reality we all have\u00a0 catastrophic thoughts sometimes you’re not a freak\u00a0\u00a0 you’re probably not sick you just have to\u00a0 learn to not be intimidated by your own mind\u00a0\u00a0 your mind takes in information but ironically\u00a0 it’s really not that smart so we have to help\u00a0\u00a000:26:33<\/a>it interpret that information if i hear a loud\u00a0 noise outside you know it may sound like a gunshot\u00a0\u00a0 but it could be a car back firing so initially\u00a0 i’ll have a startle reaction because it was a\u00a0\u00a0 loud noise and i think oh my gosh you know\u00a0 there’s a gunshot and then reality sets in\u00a0\u00a000:26:52<\/a>and i go no i’m in downtown you know there’s\u00a0 parking lot outside it was probably a car back\u00a0\u00a0 firing so making sure that you check yourself and\u00a0 check your thoughts to make sure that you’re not\u00a0\u00a0 just making a catastrophe when you\u00a0 completely misinterpret this situation\u00a0\u00a000:27:15<\/a>stop gauging how bad things are by how much you\u00a0 panic the more you panic the more you panic so\u00a0\u00a0 if you get nervous about going to the doctor\u00a0 and think oh this must be really bad because\u00a0\u00a0 i’m really stressed out then you’re going to get\u00a0 yourself even more stressed out because your heart\u00a0\u00a000:27:32<\/a>rate’s going to go up and your breathing is going\u00a0 to go faster which is going to cause your body to\u00a0\u00a0 release more stress chemicals so you’re going to\u00a0 feel worse so don’t assume that because you feel\u00a0\u00a0 really bad really anxious that it’s really that\u00a0 bad you could have got talked yourself into it\u00a0\u00a000:27:53<\/a>so instead of gauging how bad\u00a0 things are by how much you panic\u00a0\u00a0 remember to gauge things how bad things are based\u00a0 on facts for it being a catastrophe and against it\u00a0\u00a0 being a catastrophe what are the actual facts\u00a0 in the situation identify your comfort zones\u00a0\u00a000:28:12<\/a>and step back into them now and again you\u00a0 didn’t think i’d ever say that did you\u00a0\u00a0 a lot of times i’m saying step out of your\u00a0 comfort zone well it can be anxiety provoking\u00a0\u00a0 moving past the place that you’re comfortable\u00a0 with out of your comfort zone is a gradual process\u00a0\u00a000:28:28<\/a>going too quickly is a recipe for stress so when\u00a0 we take students and i just did a class today on\u00a0\u00a0 helping students transition from high school to\u00a0 college that is a huge jump from one comfort zone\u00a0\u00a0 to a discomfort zone so to speak because students\u00a0 just aren’t used to living on their own and have\u00a0\u00a000:28:48<\/a>being away from mom and dad and all those\u00a0 different things so it causes a lot of stress\u00a0\u00a0 in college freshmen but the same thing is\u00a0 true if it’s a new job or whatever it is\u00a0\u00a0 go in slowly you know dip your toe in see\u00a0 how it feels just like when you’re getting\u00a0\u00a000:29:07<\/a>into a cold pool well at least me i don’t do\u00a0 a cannonball into the pool i put my toe in\u00a0\u00a0 let my feet get used to it then let my calves\u00a0 get used to it and i ease myself in so it isn’t\u00a0\u00a0 quite as much of a shock to my system and\u00a0 it doesn’t cause me as as much discomfort\u00a0\u00a000:29:28<\/a>but you can practice and this is\u00a0 number 20 practice healthy discomfort\u00a0\u00a0 this means lean into your stress don’t resist it\u00a0 acknowledge that you’re anxious and go okay this\u00a0\u00a0 means i’m getting outside my comfort zone\u00a0 which means i’m growing and that’s awesome\u00a0\u00a000:29:43<\/a>means this is a challenge and that’s a little\u00a0 intimidating but it’s also exciting accept how\u00a0\u00a0 you feel and remember you can tolerate it\u00a0 think back to times in the past when you’ve\u00a0\u00a0 been anxious and you’ve worked through a\u00a0 situation it wasn’t the end of the world\u00a0\u00a000:29:59<\/a>think about times in the past when you’ve\u00a0 been anxious and ways you’ve coped with it\u00a0\u00a0 you know i’m not asking you to lean into it and\u00a0 do it all by yourself you know call on those past\u00a0\u00a0 strengths and tools that you’ve used to deal\u00a0 with the anxiety instead of running from it\u00a0\u00a000:30:15<\/a>finally practice radical acceptance learn\u00a0 to acknowledge the parts of your story you’d\u00a0\u00a0 rather ignore forget or not admit so choose\u00a0 to love your home your body and your work\u00a0\u00a0 instead of saying you know i am fat ugly and\u00a0 useless and being upset or saying everybody’s\u00a0\u00a000:30:36<\/a>going to abandon me because i’m not lovable um you\u00a0 know let’s practice radical acceptance you are who\u00a0\u00a0 you are and you can choose to hate yourself or you\u00a0 can choose to love yourself you can choose to hate\u00a0\u00a0 where you live and be miserable about it and go\u00a0 around like oscar the grouch or you can choose to\u00a0\u00a000:30:57<\/a>love where you live and make it a home and\u00a0 decide to change whatever you think needs to be\u00a0\u00a0 changed choose to build your life from a place of\u00a0 gratitude and vision you know maybe you don’t love\u00a0\u00a0 everything about yourself right now that’s okay\u00a0 that means you’ve got room for growth so embrace\u00a0\u00a000:31:15<\/a>yourself love yourself as a human being and\u00a0 say okay now there are things i need to work on\u00a0\u00a0 and use that vision to figure out where you want\u00a0 to go from here because you’ve got a long way to\u00a0\u00a0 go on your life journey life’s journey when\u00a0 you build your life from gratitude and vision\u00a0\u00a000:31:35<\/a>then you’re using your energy to grow and move\u00a0 forward instead of run from your own fears so remember anxiety is your body’s response to\u00a0 what it thinks might be a threat it’s like that\u00a0\u00a0 faulty fire alarm that goes off it’s trying to\u00a0 warn you but in reality there’s nothing to be\u00a0\u00a000:31:57<\/a>warned about there are many ways to address\u00a0 your anxiety including getting good nutrition\u00a0\u00a0 avoiding too many stimulants getting plenty of\u00a0 sleep so you’re not exhausted and over tired\u00a0\u00a0 exercise which releases serotonin get social\u00a0 support you know reach out to those friends\u00a0\u00a000:32:15<\/a>and change your perspective so instead\u00a0 of looking at the worst possible scenario\u00a0\u00a0 you’re saying what’s the best thing that could\u00a0 happen or how have i handled similar situations\u00a0\u00a0 before because i can do this and add some\u00a0 happiness to your life you know you really\u00a0\u00a000:32:33<\/a>can’t just eliminate anxiety or just\u00a0 eliminate depression if you eliminate\u00a0\u00a0 it then there’s nothing you need to\u00a0 add some happiness to take its place\u00a0\u00a0 and that will help you start addressing your\u00a0 anxiety if you like this podcast please subscribe
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https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=kcZXl0Yr-QU00:00:01Hi everybody and welcome to happiness and brain\u00a0 surgery with dr dawn elise snipes practical tools to improve\u00a0\u00a0 your mood and quality of life today we’re going to\u00a0 be talking about 21 practical tips to beat anxiety\u00a0\u00a0 this is based on a book that i’ve got\u00a0 coming out in two months it’s in the\u00a0\u00a000:00:17in press … Continue reading 21 Tips to Beat Anxiety with Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":152194,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[72],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-152193","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-style"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/1709495054-maxresdefault.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152193"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=152193"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152193\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/152194"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=152193"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=152193"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=152193"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}