{"id":152166,"date":"2024-03-02T18:47:27","date_gmt":"2024-03-02T23:47:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/152166"},"modified":"2024-03-02T18:47:27","modified_gmt":"2024-03-02T23:47:27","slug":"3-hours-of-worry-management-skills-the-ultimate-generalized-anxiety-disorder-guide-dr-rami-nader-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/152166","title":{"rendered":"3 HOURS of Worry Management Skills: The Ultimate Generalized Anxiety Disorder Guide | Dr. Rami Nader"},"content":{"rendered":"
https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=qGbgibPSn3s&t=191s<\/div>00:00:01<\/a>Do you worry a lot do you know\u00a0 somebody who does worry a lot\u00a0\u00a0 well this is the ultimate guide for understanding\u00a0 managing and better controlling worries\u00a0\u00a0 hi everyone welcome to the ultimate video guide\u00a0 for managing worry this video is going to be a\u00a0\u00a000:00:30<\/a>long video that puts together a number of\u00a0 other videos that i’ve previously uploaded\u00a0\u00a0 that spell out the best ways to manage and\u00a0 understand excessive worry but before i get\u00a0\u00a0 into that just a couple of disclaimers to\u00a0 go over i’m a registered psychologist in\u00a0\u00a000:00:48<\/a>the province of british columbia canada and\u00a0 this video is for informational purposes only\u00a0\u00a0 it is not intended as a replacement or substitute\u00a0 for advice from your doctor or mental health\u00a0\u00a0 professional now with those two things out\u00a0 of the way let’s talk about worry management\u00a0\u00a000:01:07<\/a>so like i mentioned this video is really a\u00a0 compilation of a 14-part video series that\u00a0\u00a0 i’ve previously uploaded about worry\u00a0 management you can choose to watch\u00a0\u00a0 all 14 of those individual videos but i had a\u00a0 lot of people ask me to put them all together\u00a0\u00a000:01:28<\/a>into one video that they can use as a reference\u00a0 and so that’s what this video is all about\u00a0\u00a0 i would not recommend watching this video from\u00a0 beginning to end and expecting to remember\u00a0\u00a0 all of it it is pretty dense and has a lot of\u00a0 material in it but i hope you’ll come back to it\u00a0\u00a000:01:47<\/a>as you work through some of the worry management\u00a0 tools that i’m going to be talking about\u00a0\u00a0 now one of the things i want to point out is these\u00a0 worry management skills aren’t things that i just\u00a0\u00a0 dreamed up uh these are worry management skills\u00a0 that are backed by a lot of research and there’s\u00a0\u00a000:02:03<\/a>been a lot of scientific work that has been put\u00a0 into putting together this treatment protocol\u00a0\u00a0 it was developed by a brilliant researcher\u00a0 and psychologist at concordia university named\u00a0\u00a0 michelle duga and he has done a lot of research on\u00a0 these skills and tools that i’ll be presenting and\u00a0\u00a000:02:25<\/a>the great part is these skills and tools work and\u00a0 there’s a lot of research to back that these tools\u00a0\u00a0 are highly effective for helping a person\u00a0 manage and understand their worry so\u00a0\u00a0 i hope you’ll find this video helpful and\u00a0 look forward to any comments or thoughts\u00a0\u00a000:02:44<\/a>that you have about it so with that being said\u00a0 let’s start with the first video that discusses\u00a0\u00a0 the three features of worry and\u00a0 two different types of worry have you ever thought about what worry\u00a0 actually is that’s one of the first questions i\u00a0\u00a000:03:05<\/a>ask my clients when we get into worry management\u00a0 is i ask them to provide me with a definition\u00a0\u00a0 of worry and usually there’s a bit of a a pause\u00a0 and a look of confusion because i think most\u00a0\u00a0 people know what worry feels like and everybody\u00a0 knows kind of how it feels to be worried but\u00a0\u00a000:03:29<\/a>rarely do people ever stop to think about what\u00a0 worry actually is and that’s what i want to talk\u00a0\u00a0 about today so that people can have a clear\u00a0 sense and a clear idea of what i’m talking\u00a0\u00a0 about when i talk about worry so the first thing\u00a0 about worry is that worry is a thought process\u00a0\u00a000:03:53<\/a>it is something that happens in your head it\u00a0 is something that you are thinking now worry\u00a0\u00a0 tends not to be just a single thought it tends\u00a0 to be a collection of thoughts now that can be\u00a0\u00a0 the same thought looped over and over and\u00a0 over and over again or it can be one thought\u00a0\u00a000:04:13<\/a>leading to another leading to another leading\u00a0 to another until you get this scenario building\u00a0\u00a0 now for example i wake up one morning i’ve got\u00a0 a really bad headache and i think to myself\u00a0\u00a0 what if this is a brain tumor\u00a0 what if there’s something wrong\u00a0\u00a000:04:31<\/a>now typically with worry the next thought isn’t\u00a0 well i wonder what i’m going to have for breakfast\u00a0\u00a0 the next thought is either going to be looping\u00a0 over oh my goodness what if this is a tumor what\u00a0\u00a0 if this is cancer what if this is something bad\u00a0 or spiraling into a negative scenario about what\u00a0\u00a000:04:49<\/a>might happen if i have to get treatment and what\u00a0 would happen to my family those types of things\u00a0\u00a0 so the first sort of defining feature\u00a0 of worry is that it is a collection of\u00a0\u00a0 thoughts it is a thought process and a\u00a0 collection of multiple thoughts the second\u00a0\u00a000:05:09<\/a>defining characteristic of worry is that worry\u00a0 tends to be future oriented what that means is\u00a0\u00a0 that people don’t worry about things from the\u00a0 past typically they worry about stuff that’s\u00a0\u00a0 going to happen in the future now sometimes people\u00a0 will stop me and they’ll say hold on a second i\u00a0\u00a000:05:30<\/a>worry about things from my past but usually\u00a0 when people say that they’re worrying about\u00a0\u00a0 stuff from their past what they’re actually\u00a0 talking about is they’re worrying about how\u00a0\u00a0 the things from the past are going to affect them\u00a0 in the future so essentially how the implications\u00a0\u00a000:05:49<\/a>of events that have happened in the past and what\u00a0 impact they’re going to have on a person’s future\u00a0\u00a0 so for example if i’m worrying about having been\u00a0 fired from a job three years ago it’s not so much\u00a0\u00a0 that i’m worrying about having been fired from\u00a0 the job three years ago it’s that i’m worrying\u00a0\u00a000:06:07<\/a>about how i’m going to be able to explain that\u00a0 i was fired from that job three years ago in\u00a0\u00a0 the upcoming job interview so now another\u00a0 small but sort of obvious component of this\u00a0\u00a0 is that worry tends to be about future negative\u00a0 events people don’t worry about positive things\u00a0\u00a000:06:29<\/a>happening right so rarely do people ever worry\u00a0 oh what if what if this job goes really well or\u00a0\u00a0 what if this relationship turns out great what\u00a0 if my friends are really impressed with me\u00a0\u00a0 people don’t worry about those things people\u00a0 usually only worry about negative things happening\u00a0\u00a000:06:49<\/a>so that’s the second defining feature of\u00a0 worry worry is about future negative events\u00a0\u00a0 now the third defining feature of worry is\u00a0 that worry is associated and accompanied by\u00a0\u00a0 anxiety anxiety is the emotional result\u00a0 of the worry process now this is an\u00a0\u00a000:07:13<\/a>important concept and important point because\u00a0 a lot of times people will use the terms worry\u00a0\u00a0 and anxiety interchangeably i’m worried and\u00a0 anxious and that’s probably because people\u00a0\u00a0 usually experience worry and anxiety at the same\u00a0 time but worry and anxiety aren’t the same thing\u00a0\u00a000:07:36<\/a>worry is a thought process and anxiety is the\u00a0 emotion that results from that thought process\u00a0\u00a0 so you can’t be worrying without being anxious\u00a0 but you can be anxious without worrying\u00a0\u00a0 so i hope that makes sense that worry is\u00a0 the thought process anxiety is the emotional\u00a0\u00a000:07:58<\/a>result that comes from that thought process so\u00a0 that’s the definition of worry that i work by\u00a0\u00a0 that’s the definition of worry that i use when i’m\u00a0 working with my clients on worry management worry\u00a0\u00a0 is this collection of thoughts or doubts about\u00a0 future negative events that are accompanied by\u00a0\u00a000:08:19<\/a>anxiety so with that definition of worry out\u00a0 of the way i want to talk about two types of\u00a0\u00a0 worry now the first type of worry is what we\u00a0 call a type one worry now a type one worry\u00a0\u00a0 is a worry about a current actual real\u00a0 problem a problem that’s happening now\u00a0\u00a000:08:42<\/a>a problem that i am dealing with in this moment so\u00a0 for example i get my credit card bill in the mail\u00a0\u00a0 and the credit card bill is for three hundred\u00a0 dollars but i only have twenty dollars in my bank\u00a0\u00a0 account and so i start to worry how is it that\u00a0 i’m going to be able to pay this credit card bill\u00a0\u00a000:09:03<\/a>so that worry about being able\u00a0 to pay the credit card bill\u00a0\u00a0 that’s an example of a type 1 worry it’s a worry\u00a0 about a problem that’s actually occurring now\u00a0\u00a0 the other type of worries are called type 2\u00a0 worries now type 2 worries are worries about\u00a0\u00a000:09:22<\/a>future or potential problems problems that haven’t\u00a0 happened yet problems that may never happen so for\u00a0\u00a0 example i get my credit card bill in the mail and\u00a0 the credit card bill is for three hundred dollars\u00a0\u00a0 i have three hundred twenty dollars in my bank\u00a0 account so i can pay that credit card bill\u00a0\u00a000:09:43<\/a>but i start thinking to myself well that was\u00a0 a close one what if next month i’m not able\u00a0\u00a0 to pay my credit card bill and what if that has\u00a0 a negative effect on my credit rating and what\u00a0\u00a0 if that means i’m not going to be able to get a\u00a0 car loan which means i’m not going to be able to\u00a0\u00a000:10:02<\/a>get a good job because i can only get a job that\u00a0 i can commute to by walking or taking transit\u00a0\u00a0 and so i’m not going to be able to sort of have\u00a0 a very successful career and no one will want\u00a0\u00a0 to be with me and because i don’t have a good\u00a0 job and because i’m not able to afford a house\u00a0\u00a000:10:17<\/a>because i won’t be able to get a mortgage and\u00a0 then i’ll get depressed because no one wants\u00a0\u00a0 to be with me and i’ll lose my job and i’ll\u00a0 become homeless and i’m living under a bridge\u00a0\u00a0 none of that stuff has actually happened but i’m\u00a0 worrying about it happening and that’s that sort\u00a0\u00a000:10:36<\/a>of chaining and that spiraling of thoughts that\u00a0 i talk about yeah when i talked about earlier\u00a0\u00a0 in terms of the definition of worry so type one\u00a0 worries worries about actual current real problems\u00a0\u00a0 type two worries are worries\u00a0 about future or potential problems\u00a0\u00a000:10:58<\/a>so you may be wondering okay so what we’ve\u00a0 got this definition of worrying these two\u00a0\u00a0 types of worries what do i do with this how\u00a0 does this help well the key to understanding\u00a0\u00a0 type 1 and type 2 worries isn’t so much in\u00a0 terms of being able to define the worries\u00a0\u00a000:11:15<\/a>but when we talk about worry management tools\u00a0 we’re going to use slightly different tools\u00a0\u00a0 depending on whether or not the worry is a type\u00a0 1 worry or the worry is a type 2 worry and so\u00a0\u00a0 that’s why it’s important early on to get into\u00a0 the habit of being able to recognize your worries\u00a0\u00a000:11:34<\/a>think about your worries and define the worries\u00a0 as either is this a type one or is it a type two\u00a0\u00a0 now sometimes worries can start out as type 1 and\u00a0 as part of that spiraling they go into becoming\u00a0\u00a0 type 2 worries we call those mixed worries so\u00a0 there’s a component of it that’s a type 1 and a\u00a0\u00a000:11:54<\/a>component of it that’s a type two so for now the\u00a0 idea is to just spend some time thinking about\u00a0\u00a0 your worry and so this is what i encourage clients\u00a0 to do is to use this information by just trying to\u00a0\u00a0 be more aware and more mindful of your worries and\u00a0 when you catch yourself worrying to even just try\u00a0\u00a000:12:15<\/a>and think about is this a type 1 worry is this\u00a0 a type 2 worry what that can do is it can help\u00a0\u00a0 you disengage from the worry even for a moment and\u00a0 for you to start thinking a bit more analytically\u00a0\u00a0 and a bit more critically about the worry\u00a0 rather than getting caught up in the worry\u00a0\u00a000:12:34<\/a>experience you’re now kind of observing it\u00a0 and thinking about it differently even just\u00a0\u00a0 by simply being able to say this is a\u00a0 type 1 worry or this is a type 2 word everybody experiences worry so\u00a0 when i talk about worry management\u00a0\u00a000:12:55<\/a>i’m not really talking about a worry cure what i’m\u00a0 talking about is helping people who worry a lot\u00a0\u00a0 be able to better manage their worries so\u00a0 they’re not worrying as much because the\u00a0\u00a0 reality is everybody worries it’s just a matter\u00a0 of how much do people worry so you can think of\u00a0\u00a000:13:14<\/a>it kind of like falling on a continuum where\u00a0 one end of the continuum are people who don’t\u00a0\u00a0 really worry very much at all they still worry\u00a0 but just not that much and it’s not particularly\u00a0\u00a0 problematic or interfering for them then on the\u00a0 other end of the continuum are people who worry\u00a0\u00a000:13:32<\/a>a lot and if a person worries excessively enough\u00a0 and if their worry is chronic enough they can\u00a0\u00a0 meet criteria for what we call generalized anxiety\u00a0 disorder but regardless of whether or not a person\u00a0\u00a0 meets criteria for generalized anxiety disorder\u00a0 or they are a person who worries excessively or\u00a0\u00a000:13:52<\/a>they’re a person who worries a little bit the\u00a0 same worry management skills that i’m going to\u00a0\u00a0 be talking about apply to all different types\u00a0 of worry and all different intensities of worry\u00a0\u00a0 the worry experience for people usually starts\u00a0 with a trigger some sort of trigger situation\u00a0\u00a000:14:15<\/a>leads them to begin worrying now triggers can be\u00a0 pretty much anything so triggers can be internal\u00a0\u00a0 they can be thoughts that i have thinking\u00a0 about an argument that i had with my wife\u00a0\u00a0 they can be physical sensations i wake up in\u00a0 the morning i’ve got a really bad headache\u00a0\u00a000:14:36<\/a>triggers can be external my cell phone rings\u00a0 i check the call display and it’s worth\u00a0\u00a0 calling and i think to myself why is work\u00a0 calling what’s going on is something wrong\u00a0\u00a0 so pretty much anything can act as a trigger and\u00a0 the trigger then leads to what i call the what if\u00a0\u00a000:14:56<\/a>question now the what-if question is kind of the\u00a0 foundation of worry now the thing about worry is\u00a0\u00a0 it usually doesn’t just start and stop at one what\u00a0 if question so for example the trigger is i wake\u00a0\u00a0 up in the morning and i’ve got a bad headache and\u00a0 i think to myself what if this is a brain tumor00:15:21<\/a>what usually happens is that worry either loops\u00a0 itself over and over and over again so i worry and\u00a0\u00a0 i keep thinking to myself about what if i have a\u00a0 brain tumor what’s going on what if i have a brain\u00a0\u00a0 tumor or it leads to a chaining or spiraling of\u00a0 additional what-if thoughts that ends up in this\u00a0\u00a000:15:39<\/a>negative scenario building of what might happen\u00a0 and it’s that chaining and spiraling of what if\u00a0\u00a0 thoughts that’s what we call worry and so when a\u00a0 person is worrying think about how that makes you\u00a0\u00a0 feel for example so when you’re worrying what’s\u00a0 the emotion that you associate with the worry\u00a0\u00a000:16:03<\/a>that emotion is typically anxiety so this\u00a0 is an important point to note that worry and\u00a0\u00a0 anxiety are not the same thing so worry\u00a0 is this collection of what if thoughts\u00a0\u00a0 anxiety is the emotion that results from\u00a0 the collection of these what-if thoughts\u00a0\u00a000:16:22<\/a>so now think about this process and imagine if\u00a0 you worried a lot and you’re going through this\u00a0\u00a0 process day after day after day trigger\u00a0 what if we’re anxiety trigger what if\u00a0\u00a0 we’re anxiety trigger what if we’re anxiety\u00a0 how are you feeling by the end of the day\u00a0\u00a000:16:42<\/a>now most of the time when i ask my clients that\u00a0 they’ll usually say two things one they feel\u00a0\u00a0 exhausted now exhausted on multiple levels\u00a0 exhausted mentally because their mind will\u00a0\u00a0 not shut off right they just keep worrying\u00a0 they just keep thinking their mind will not\u00a0\u00a000:17:01<\/a>stop thinking about something and so mentally that\u00a0 can be exhausting but it can also be physically\u00a0\u00a0 exhausting as well so you’re going through\u00a0 all of these negative thoughts in your mind\u00a0\u00a0 and it’s normal for sort of the muscles to tense\u00a0 up and to just feel an increased physical tension\u00a0\u00a000:17:20<\/a>um it can lead to problems with sleep because it’s\u00a0 difficult to sleep when you’re worrying so much\u00a0\u00a0 and so it’s common for people to feel kind\u00a0 of exhausted and worn out by their worries\u00a0\u00a0 both mentally and physically and the second\u00a0 outcome of this sort of constant worry process\u00a0\u00a000:17:38<\/a>is a feeling or a perception of being demoralized\u00a0 demoralization and what i mean by that is that\u00a0\u00a0 it’s hard to really look forward to anything\u00a0 when you worry a lot so it’s hard to get really\u00a0\u00a0 excited or enthused about something because when\u00a0 you think about all the positive things that can\u00a0\u00a000:17:58<\/a>happen what also happens is that you then begin to\u00a0 start thinking about all the negative things that\u00a0\u00a0 could happen so it’s hard to really look forward\u00a0 to anything because you’re always thinking about\u00a0\u00a0 all of the negative things that can occur and so\u00a0 the outcome of this worry process is a feeling of\u00a0\u00a000:18:18<\/a>being demoralized and exhausted and think about\u00a0 it the more demoralized and exhausted you feel\u00a0\u00a0 what do you think that’s going to do\u00a0 to the frequency of what-if thoughts\u00a0\u00a0 it’s going to increase them and so you get\u00a0 into this self-feeding cycle of worry where\u00a0\u00a000:18:37<\/a>you have a trigger leading to the what-if worry\u00a0 anxiety feeling demoralized and exhausted which\u00a0\u00a0 just means you’re prone to creating more\u00a0 what-if questions in response to triggers so that’s kind of the the basic engine\u00a0 of worry this is kind of how worry works\u00a0\u00a000:18:58<\/a>and as i’m going as i go along uh with this\u00a0 video series and talk about other factors that\u00a0\u00a0 contribute to worry we’re going to be building on\u00a0 this model but it’s important to understand this\u00a0\u00a0 is kind of the the core engine of worry so with\u00a0 that understanding in mind it leads to the first\u00a0\u00a000:19:19<\/a>key worry management skill that i’m going to\u00a0 be talking about now this is a foundational\u00a0\u00a0 skill it’s hard to do any of the other worry\u00a0 management skills i’m going to be talking about\u00a0\u00a0 if you don’t do this skill and the first worry\u00a0 management skill is worry awareness training\u00a0\u00a000:19:39<\/a>essentially becoming more aware of what it is that\u00a0 you worry about and having a better understanding\u00a0\u00a0 of your worry experience now when i’m working\u00a0 with my clients and i bring this up a lot of\u00a0\u00a0 times people will say hey i already know what\u00a0 it is that i’m worrying about i don’t need to\u00a0\u00a000:19:57<\/a>get better at thinking about my worries\u00a0\u00a0 but what i find for a lot of my clients is that\u00a0 they they kind of know what the big worries are\u00a0\u00a0 but they don’t really have a great sense of\u00a0 their entire worry experience and for a lot of my\u00a0\u00a000:20:14<\/a>clients they are such highly efficient worriers\u00a0 that they’re not even aware of everything that\u00a0\u00a0 they’re worrying about that they worry almost\u00a0 automatically to a point that they’re not even\u00a0\u00a0 aware they don’t even know what it is that they\u00a0 worry and so it’s not uncommon for people who\u00a0\u00a000:20:32<\/a>come to see me to say i don’t really feel like i’m\u00a0 worrying but i have a lot of free floating anxiety\u00a0\u00a0 now usually when i hear the term free floating\u00a0 anxiety it’s a cue for me that this is probably\u00a0\u00a0 someone who is a highly efficient worrier and that\u00a0 they’re worrying but just don’t realize it yet\u00a0\u00a000:20:50<\/a>and that’s where worry awareness training comes\u00a0 in so worry awareness training really what it is\u00a0\u00a0 at its core is excavating your worries dusting\u00a0 them off and really beginning to examine them\u00a0\u00a0 so that you can have a new understanding\u00a0 and a better understanding of what your\u00a0\u00a000:21:09<\/a>worry experience is actually like getting a\u00a0 better understanding of that worry fingerprint\u00a0\u00a0 your unique worry experience that’s unique to\u00a0 you so how do you do worry awareness training\u00a0\u00a0 key tool i use with my clients is called a worry\u00a0 diary and what i’m going to be doing is putting a\u00a0\u00a000:21:32<\/a>link to a worry diary that you can download in the\u00a0 description of the video below so please feel free\u00a0\u00a0 to download that and take a look at it so the idea\u00a0 of a worry diary is that you don’t keep track of\u00a0\u00a0 every single worry that you have rather what\u00a0 you’re doing is you’re taking a sampling\u00a0\u00a000:21:53<\/a>of your worries so what i get my clients to do\u00a0 is to complete a worry diary three times a day\u00a0\u00a0 for one to two weeks and the idea is to have some\u00a0 set times every day that you’re going to pull out\u00a0\u00a0 your worry diary and write down what it is that\u00a0 you’re worrying about at that time so i encourage\u00a0\u00a000:22:12<\/a>people to set an alarm so an alarm in the morning\u00a0 in the afternoon and sometime in the evening\u00a0\u00a0 when the alarm goes off you pull out the worry\u00a0 diary and you complete an entry in the worry diary\u00a0\u00a0 so with the worry diary the first column is\u00a0 the time and day so the date time that you’re\u00a0\u00a000:22:33<\/a>completing the worry diary the next column\u00a0 is the situation what’s going on what’s the\u00a0\u00a0 context that you’re worrying in this can map\u00a0 on to the trigger that we talked about before\u00a0\u00a0 after that you write down what\u00a0 is it that you’re worrying about\u00a0\u00a000:22:52<\/a>what are the what if thoughts\u00a0 that you’re having in that moment after you’ve completed the what ifs and\u00a0 wrote written down what you’re worrying about\u00a0\u00a0 you make a rating of your anxiety on a scale\u00a0 from 0 to 10 where 0 is no anxiety at all\u00a0\u00a000:23:11<\/a>10 is extreme anxiety so you make a numerical\u00a0 rating of how anxious am i in this moment\u00a0\u00a0 and then the last column of the worry relates\u00a0 to what i talked about in a previous video when\u00a0\u00a0 i talked about a definition of worry and types of\u00a0 worry and that relates to is this a type one worry\u00a0\u00a000:23:33<\/a>or is this a type 2 worry now type\u00a0 1 worries are worries about actual\u00a0\u00a0 current problems type 2 worries are worries about\u00a0 future or potential problems and so you take a\u00a0\u00a0 look at what it is that you’re worrying about and\u00a0 you make a rating is this type 1 is this type 2\u00a0\u00a000:23:54<\/a>now sometimes a worry can be a bit of a mix\u00a0 of both so it starts out as a type 1 worry\u00a0\u00a0 and it spirals into a type 2 worry if\u00a0 that’s the case you can write down both so\u00a0\u00a0 you complete this worry diary if you do this worry\u00a0 diary for a week or two what it’s going to give\u00a0\u00a000:24:12<\/a>you is a rich amount of data about your worry\u00a0 experience that you may have never had before\u00a0\u00a0 are there days or times that you tend to\u00a0 worry more than other days and times are\u00a0\u00a0 there certain situations or triggers\u00a0 that tend to trigger your worry more\u00a0\u00a000:24:31<\/a>are there certain worries that come up over and\u00a0 over and over again kind of like your greatest\u00a0\u00a0 hits of worry are there certain worries that\u00a0 are associated with higher levels of anxiety\u00a0\u00a0 so for example it’s not uncommon for people to\u00a0 be well aware of the worries that are causing\u00a0\u00a000:24:49<\/a>them levels eight nine and ten in terms of anxiety\u00a0 but when they do the worry diet they they realize\u00a0\u00a0 wow there’s a whole bunch of worries that\u00a0 are causing me anxiety about three and\u00a0\u00a0 four that i was never actually aware of and those\u00a0 worries can contribute to just that background\u00a0\u00a000:25:07<\/a>hum of anxiety and nervousness and those may be\u00a0 worries that a person’s never thought about before\u00a0\u00a0 this worry diary can also help you get a sense\u00a0 of are my worries more type 1 worries do i have\u00a0\u00a0 more type 2 worries do i have kind of an equal\u00a0 mix of type 1 and type 2 worries this is all\u00a0\u00a000:25:28<\/a>information that people typically don’t have\u00a0 about their worry experience and by getting\u00a0\u00a0 this information it provides you with um a lot of\u00a0 background that you’re gonna be able to use then\u00a0\u00a0 when we start talking about other worry management\u00a0 skills but none of the other worry management\u00a0\u00a000:25:48<\/a>skills i’m going to be talking about are effective\u00a0 if you don’t know what it is that you’re worrying\u00a0\u00a0 about and that’s the key and that’s the\u00a0 foundational skill of worry awareness training and in the last video i talked about\u00a0 a model for understanding worry\u00a0\u00a000:26:10<\/a>and i talked about it as the bare bones engine of\u00a0 worry the the driving force behind worry so if you\u00a0\u00a0 think of that as the engine of worry what we’re\u00a0 talking about today intolerance of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 that’s the fuel that drives this worry\u00a0 engine so what is intolerance of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a000:26:33<\/a>well intolerance of uncertainty one way to think\u00a0 about it is it’s kind of like a psychological\u00a0\u00a0 allergy and if you think about how an allergy\u00a0 works suppose i’m allergic to dust and i walk\u00a0\u00a0 into a room all it’s going to take is for there\u00a0 to be just a little bit of dust in that room and\u00a0\u00a000:26:54<\/a>it’s going to cause a big allergic reaction on my\u00a0 part sneezy watery eyes that sort of thing whereas\u00a0\u00a0 somebody else who’s not allergic to dust walks\u00a0 into the exact same room has no reaction at all\u00a0\u00a0 so for people who are intolerant of uncertainty\u00a0 all it takes is for there to be just a little\u00a0\u00a000:27:16<\/a>bit of uncertainty in a situation and it leads to\u00a0 a big emotional reaction a big emotional response\u00a0\u00a0 so you can think of intolerance of uncertainty\u00a0 kind of like falling on a continuum where on\u00a0\u00a0 one end of the continuum are people\u00a0 who are highly tolerant of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a000:27:38<\/a>these are the people who for example can travel\u00a0 to europe with a one-way ticket and a quarter\u00a0\u00a0 in their pocket they have no idea what they’re\u00a0 going to be doing for work what they’re going to\u00a0\u00a0 do for money uh how long they’re going to be gone\u00a0 where they’re going to go but they just see it as\u00a0\u00a000:27:55<\/a>a big adventure they’ll figure it out as they\u00a0 go whereas on the other end of the continuum\u00a0\u00a0 if a person is highly intolerant of uncertainty\u00a0 and they’re traveling to europe they’re going to\u00a0\u00a0 have a clearly laid out itinerary they’re going\u00a0 to know exactly what they’re doing on every day\u00a0\u00a000:28:14<\/a>they’re going to have backup plans for if the\u00a0 weather’s changes they’re going to know exactly\u00a0\u00a0 how they’re going to get from point a to point\u00a0 b everything is going to be highly organized\u00a0\u00a0 those people are highly intolerant of uncertainty\u00a0 now what we know is that for people who worry a\u00a0\u00a000:28:34<\/a>lot they tend to gravitate more towards the highly\u00a0 intolerant end of this tolerating uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 spectrum so the way intolerance of uncertainty\u00a0 works is it’s kind of like a lens through which\u00a0\u00a0 a person views the world so you have this person\u00a0 and they’re faced with an uncertain situation\u00a0\u00a000:28:58<\/a>and they’re looking at this uncertain situation\u00a0 through this intolerance of uncertainty lens\u00a0\u00a0 what the intolerance of uncertainty lens is\u00a0 going to do is it’s going to bend the person’s\u00a0\u00a0 perception or prediction of what’s going to\u00a0 happen to be a negative outcome so they’re\u00a0\u00a000:29:16<\/a>going to think about all of the positive all\u00a0 of the possible negative things that can occur\u00a0\u00a0 when faced with that uncertain situation but you\u00a0 can probably also recognize on a logical level\u00a0\u00a0 that uncertain situations don’t always lead to\u00a0 negative outcomes that there can be a range of\u00a0\u00a000:29:38<\/a>potential outcomes that on certain situations can\u00a0 result in so some are negative but some uncertain\u00a0\u00a0 situations can turn out neutral or they’re\u00a0 neither good nor bad they just kind of are\u00a0\u00a0 what they are and then there are some uncertain\u00a0 situations that turn out really positively\u00a0\u00a000:29:55<\/a>so they turn out much better than a person\u00a0 anticipated the situation was going to turn out\u00a0\u00a0 i call these happy accidents not expecting them\u00a0 to happen they happen and they’re really great\u00a0\u00a0 so uncertain outcomes can fall anywhere on\u00a0 this continuum of possible outcomes but the\u00a0\u00a000:30:19<\/a>intolerance of uncertainty lens prevents a person\u00a0 from really considering the possible positive or\u00a0\u00a0 neutral outcomes and all the person ever focuses\u00a0 on is the potential negative outcomes so it’s not\u00a0\u00a0 so much the uncertainty that is so sort of scary\u00a0 or anxiety provoking for a person who’s intolerant\u00a0\u00a000:30:41<\/a>of uncertainty it’s not the uncertainty itself\u00a0 it’s what they feel that uncertainty represents\u00a0\u00a0 which is the negative outcome the negative\u00a0 potential outcome that they focus on that\u00a0\u00a0 this intolerance of uncertainty lends bends their\u00a0 predictions and their perceptions to be all about00:31:02<\/a>so what do you do with this information how\u00a0\u00a0 exactly does this work and how can\u00a0 you use it to better manage worry well\u00a0\u00a0 think about the dilemma that someone who is\u00a0 intolerant of uncertainty experiences on one hand\u00a0\u00a000:31:22<\/a>i’m intolerant of uncertainty yet on the other\u00a0 hand there’s uncertainty in the world around me\u00a0\u00a0 and so i have to try to find some way of\u00a0 reconciling these two things the inherent\u00a0\u00a0 uncertainty of the world and my intolerance of\u00a0 uncertainty and invariably what people do is they\u00a0\u00a000:31:44<\/a>tend to focus on ways of trying to eliminate\u00a0 uncertainty in their world trying to control\u00a0\u00a0 their world trying to be highly organized try\u00a0 to seek lots of information avoid things that\u00a0\u00a0 they are uncertain about it’s all designed\u00a0 to try and eliminate uncertainty in the world00:32:08<\/a>but how effective do you think that\u00a0 is do you think there is any way\u00a0\u00a0 to fully eliminate uncertainty in the world\u00a0\u00a0 well the answer is no if you think back to the\u00a0 original model of worry that i talked about\u00a0\u00a000:32:25<\/a>it starts with a trigger and what i mentioned\u00a0 and why i pointed out is that anything can be\u00a0\u00a0 a trigger so anything can trigger worry\u00a0 anything can trigger uncertainty any situation\u00a0\u00a0 can have uncertainty associated with it so\u00a0 trying to eliminate uncertainty in the world\u00a0\u00a000:32:49<\/a>as a way of trying to manage this intolerance\u00a0 of uncertainty is kind of like a losing battle\u00a0\u00a0 it’s sort of like i’m at the bottom of a\u00a0 pit and i want to get out of the pit and\u00a0\u00a0 the approach i use to try and get out of the\u00a0 pit is to pick up a shovel and to start digging\u00a0\u00a000:33:08<\/a>now i’m doing lots of work i’m putting lots of\u00a0 effort and energy into trying to get out of the\u00a0\u00a0 pit but is picking up a shovel and digging\u00a0 actually getting me out of the pit no it’s\u00a0\u00a0 just a lot of work that’s not actually getting\u00a0 me anywhere and that’s what i find for a lot\u00a0\u00a000:33:29<\/a>of my clients who deal with excessive worry\u00a0 and struggle with excessive worry they feel\u00a0\u00a0 exhausted because everything they’ve tried to\u00a0 do to manage their worry hasn’t really helped\u00a0\u00a0 all of the ways that they try and control their\u00a0 world all of the ways that they try and gather\u00a0\u00a000:33:49<\/a>information all of the ways that they try to\u00a0 avoid or eliminate the uncertainty in their world\u00a0\u00a0 isn’t really helping it’s like i’ve got a bucket\u00a0 and i’m trying to fill that bucket with water but\u00a0\u00a0 the bucket’s got a big hole in the bottom of it so\u00a0 i’m constantly pouring water into the bucket but\u00a0\u00a000:34:08<\/a>the bucket’s never getting full i will never be\u00a0 able to fully eliminate uncertainty in the world\u00a0\u00a0 so the only way of dealing with this\u00a0 dilemma the world has uncertainty in it\u00a0\u00a0 and i’m intolerant of uncertainty the only way of\u00a0 really reconciling this dilemma isn’t to focus on\u00a0\u00a000:34:30<\/a>eliminating uncertainty from the world it’s to\u00a0 focus on becoming more tolerant of uncertainty it’s not enough to just know you need\u00a0 to be more tolerant of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 the idea is you need to behave as if\u00a0 you’re more tolerant of uncertainty00:34:55<\/a>most everybody knows at a logical level that\u00a0 uncertainty can lead to a variety of outcomes\u00a0\u00a0 they can lead to positive outcomes they can lead\u00a0 to neutral outcomes they can lead to negative\u00a0\u00a0 outcomes that’s not an epiphany to people so\u00a0 trying to convince yourself that uncertainty\u00a0\u00a000:35:12<\/a>is going to be okay just based on logic probably\u00a0 isn’t going to be enough to help you become more\u00a0\u00a0 tolerant of uncertainty so the key is to start to\u00a0 behave as if you’re more tolerant of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 to do exposure to uncertainty and see what happens\u00a0 and that’s how we build tolerance for uncertainty\u00a0\u00a000:35:38<\/a>by essentially having experiences with uncertainty\u00a0 and seeing whether or not what i’m worrying about\u00a0\u00a0 actually happens but before we can we can\u00a0 get into that you need to know the various\u00a0\u00a0 different ways that intolerance of uncertainty\u00a0 is actually manifesting itself in your life\u00a0\u00a000:35:59<\/a>in your behavior in the various things that you do\u00a0 and that’s what i’m going to be focusing on today\u00a0\u00a0 what are the various manifestations of\u00a0 intolerance of uncertainty the various ways\u00a0\u00a0 that intolerance of uncertainty kind of sneaks up\u00a0 on me sneaks into my life sneaks into my behavior\u00a0\u00a000:36:21<\/a>and is maintaining my worry even if i’m\u00a0 not aware that that’s what’s going on\u00a0\u00a0 so the first three manifestations of intolerance\u00a0 of uncertainty that i’m going to be talking about\u00a0\u00a0 are essentially variants of the same\u00a0 thing avoiding doing certain things\u00a0\u00a000:36:41<\/a>finding imaginary obstacles or reasons not\u00a0 to do certain things and procrastinating\u00a0\u00a0 the idea of avoidance finding imaginary obstacles\u00a0 and procrastinating the idea behind this\u00a0\u00a0 is that it gives me a temporary state of\u00a0 certainty so for example if a friend of\u00a0\u00a000:37:04<\/a>mine called me up a few weeks ago and i haven’t\u00a0 returned that phone call and now i’m worrying\u00a0\u00a0 about uh whether or not my friend’s going to be\u00a0 upset with me for not having returned the phone\u00a0\u00a0 call as long as i’m not making the phone call\u00a0 if i avoid making the phone call to my friend\u00a0\u00a000:37:22<\/a>i have certainty that in this moment my friend\u00a0 isn’t yelling at me my friend isn’t upset with\u00a0\u00a0 me my friend isn’t telling me how disappointed\u00a0 they are in me that i didn’t return the phone call\u00a0\u00a0 so it gives me this temporary state of\u00a0 certainty that the bad thing that i’m afraid of\u00a0\u00a000:37:40<\/a>isn’t actually happening and that goes for finding\u00a0 those imaginary obstacles or reasons not to do\u00a0\u00a0 certain things i can come up with all sorts of\u00a0 explanations and rationale as to why i’m not\u00a0\u00a0 going to return that phone call to my friend today\u00a0 i can just put it off and say i’ll do it tomorrow\u00a0\u00a000:38:00<\/a>they’re all forms of avoidance they’re\u00a0 all forms of things i do to give myself\u00a0\u00a0 a temporary state of certainty that what\u00a0 i’m afraid of isn’t happening right now the next manifestation of intolerance of\u00a0 uncertainty is having to do everything yourself\u00a0\u00a000:38:22<\/a>not delegating tasks to anybody else the way\u00a0 this works is that if i do everything myself\u00a0\u00a0 i know it’s been done right i know it’s been\u00a0 done the way i think it should be done i know\u00a0\u00a0 it’s been done to my standards to my expectations\u00a0 the moment i have to bring somebody else in or if\u00a0\u00a000:38:46<\/a>i have to rely on somebody else to do it well\u00a0 now that brings up a whole bunch of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 what if they don’t do it what if they don’t do\u00a0 it as well as i would have done it what if they\u00a0\u00a0 mess it up and it becomes a big mess and they\u00a0 really screw it up and then i have to go in and\u00a0\u00a000:39:04<\/a>fix it anyway you know what it’s just a lot easier\u00a0 if i do it myself so this idea of not delegating\u00a0\u00a0 tasks needing to be in control that’s another\u00a0 manifestation of intolerance of uncertainty another manifestation of intolerance of\u00a0 uncertainty is not fully committing yourself to\u00a0\u00a000:39:27<\/a>a relationship a job a project the idea\u00a0 behind this is that if i fully commit myself\u00a0\u00a0 to something if i fully give it a hundred\u00a0 percent and the thing doesn’t work out\u00a0\u00a0 then i’ll be devastated i’ll be really upset i\u00a0 will have fully invested in it and it doesn’t\u00a0\u00a000:39:49<\/a>work out and so it’s almost like i’m hedging my\u00a0 bets kind of having one foot in one foot out not\u00a0\u00a0 fully committing to it that way if the negative\u00a0 thing happens or if the relationship doesn’t work\u00a0\u00a0 out or if the project doesn’t work out well i\u00a0 wasn’t fully committed to it anyway it’s not\u00a0\u00a000:40:08<\/a>that big of a deal so it’s like i’m hedging my\u00a0 bets anticipating that it’s not going to work out\u00a0\u00a0 now this can be uh really tragic i’ve seen this in\u00a0 a lot of clients unfortunately especially around\u00a0\u00a0 the idea of relationships where they don’t fully\u00a0 commit to the relationship because they’re not\u00a0\u00a000:40:28<\/a>sure if the relationship’s gonna turn out and so\u00a0 they’re kind of in and out of the relationship and\u00a0\u00a0 they can never fully commit and they’re not sure\u00a0 if they can commit and eventually the relationship\u00a0\u00a0 falls apart because they were never able to\u00a0 fully give themselves over to the relationship\u00a0\u00a000:40:45<\/a>i also see this with students who don’t\u00a0 fully commit to their studies they don’t\u00a0\u00a0 fully put effort into doing their studies into\u00a0 studying for the test and to doing the paper\u00a0\u00a0 that way if they don’t do well\u00a0\u00a000:41:04<\/a>well the reason why they didn’t do well is they\u00a0 didn’t really fully commit themselves to it anyway\u00a0\u00a0 but if they were to fully commit themselves to it\u00a0 and they didn’t do well well the only answer is\u00a0\u00a0 then is that they’re not good enough so\u00a0 it’s almost like by not fully committing\u00a0\u00a000:41:21<\/a>themselves to the project to the assignment to the\u00a0 studying for the test they’re hedging their bets\u00a0\u00a0 that if they if it doesn’t turn out well\u00a0 then that’ll be okay because they didn’t\u00a0\u00a0 really commit to it anyway it’s almost like\u00a0 a built-in excuse for why it didn’t go right00:41:42<\/a>the next manifestation of intolerance\u00a0 of uncertainty is spreading yourself out\u00a0\u00a0 really thin right wanting to sort\u00a0 of participate in a whole bunch of\u00a0\u00a0 different things keeping yourself really\u00a0 busy but never fully committing to any\u00a0\u00a000:41:59<\/a>of those little things that you commit to\u00a0 or that you’re keeping yourself busy with\u00a0\u00a0 the idea behind this is that i don’t want to miss\u00a0 out on any opportunities so i don’t want to say no\u00a0\u00a0 to anything and then later find out that it would\u00a0 have been a great opportunity so i want to keep\u00a0\u00a000:42:16<\/a>all of my options open as long as possible but i\u00a0 won’t commit to any of them i just like to keep\u00a0\u00a0 the various options available so it’s like i’m\u00a0 spreading myself out really thin and keeping\u00a0\u00a0 busy doing a whole bunch of different things\u00a0 but never actually committing to any of them\u00a0\u00a000:42:37<\/a>now this can lead to feelings of exhaustion\u00a0 because i’m spreading myself out really thin\u00a0\u00a0 all the time because i just don’t want to\u00a0 say no to something and then regret it later the next manifestation of intolerance\u00a0 of uncertainty that i want to talk about\u00a0\u00a000:42:56<\/a>is looking for a lot of information\u00a0 before proceeding to do something\u00a0\u00a0 so for example if i’m going\u00a0 to buy a digital camera\u00a0\u00a0 i’m going to research the heck out of that digital\u00a0 camera i’m going to read every review that has\u00a0\u00a000:43:16<\/a>ever been written about that digital camera i’m\u00a0 going to read every review about every other\u00a0\u00a0 digital camera i’m going to watch all the\u00a0 youtube videos about all the features of the\u00a0\u00a0 camera it’s almost like i’m constantly looking\u00a0 for that little holy grail piece of information\u00a0\u00a000:43:35<\/a>that’s going to give me certainty that this\u00a0 is the right decision to make so it’s this\u00a0\u00a0 excessive information gathering to try and give\u00a0 me reassurance and to give me certainty that i’m\u00a0\u00a0 making the right choice now think about how\u00a0 this affects things like efficiency or making\u00a0\u00a000:44:00<\/a>decisions it just takes so much longer to make\u00a0 a decision it makes me highly efficient because\u00a0\u00a0 i can’t ever just make a decision i have to think\u00a0 through it over and over and over and look up lots\u00a0\u00a0 of information before i can commit to making\u00a0 a decision about which camera i’m going to buy00:44:20<\/a>and then the next manifestation of\u00a0 intolerance of uncertainty is that\u00a0\u00a0 once i’ve made a decision or i doubt myself and\u00a0 then i check whether or not i made the right\u00a0\u00a0 decision so uh once i’ve bought that camera i\u00a0 finally made a decision and i bought a camera\u00a0\u00a000:44:40<\/a>i spend the next six months reading reviews about\u00a0 all of the new cameras that came out since the\u00a0\u00a0 time i bought that camera almost like i’m trying\u00a0 to convince myself or to prove to myself that i\u00a0\u00a0 made the right choice that uh i should have you\u00a0 know i should have bought the one that i bought\u00a0\u00a000:44:59<\/a>rather than you know waiting a little\u00a0 bit longer because a better camera\u00a0\u00a0 came out so it’s always like i’m second guessing\u00a0 decisions that i’ve already made after i make them the next manifestation of intolerance of\u00a0 uncertainty is seeking reassurance from\u00a0\u00a000:45:19<\/a>other people this is essentially a variant of the\u00a0 information gathering manifestation of intolerance\u00a0\u00a0 of uncertainty except the way that you’re\u00a0 gathering information with reassurance seeking\u00a0\u00a0 is rather than doing your own research you’re\u00a0 asking other people for reassurance hey uh i was\u00a0\u00a000:45:41<\/a>gonna do this this and this what do you think\u00a0 do you think i should be doing that um i uh\u00a0\u00a0 i was going to answer my friend in this way what\u00a0 do you think do you think that’s what i should do\u00a0\u00a0 what do you think i should do this reassurance\u00a0 seeking is very insidious because what it does\u00a0\u00a000:46:05<\/a>is it really undermines a person’s confidence\u00a0 in their ability if you were confident in\u00a0\u00a0 what you were doing why would you have to seek\u00a0 reassurance and have to seek someone else’s input\u00a0\u00a0 before you go ahead and do something so the act of\u00a0 reassurance seeking actually undermines confidence\u00a0\u00a000:46:29<\/a>and that’s why a lot of people who worry a lot\u00a0 lack confidence is because they’re really worried\u00a0\u00a0 about making the wrong choices or making the wrong\u00a0 decisions or upsetting someone and so they engage\u00a0\u00a0 in this reassurance seeking to try and give\u00a0 them a sense of certainty that everything’s\u00a0\u00a000:46:46<\/a>going to be okay but in doing so it just\u00a0 undermines their confidence and their abilities\u00a0\u00a0 and it’s really tragic and it’s really um it’s\u00a0 really one of the ways that this intolerance of\u00a0\u00a0 uncertainty chips away at a person and really\u00a0 contributes to their worry and their anxiety00:47:08<\/a>the next manifestation of intolerance of\u00a0 uncertainty uh is one that when i bring it\u00a0\u00a0 up with clients they either relate to it or they\u00a0 don’t relate to it at all um and the idea here is\u00a0\u00a0 try and explain everything away rationally or\u00a0 always trying to imagine everything’s gonna turn\u00a0\u00a000:47:28<\/a>out well so it’s almost like creating a false\u00a0 sense of certainty so rather than going into\u00a0\u00a0 an uncertain situation and saying look i don’t\u00a0 really know how it’s going to turn out let’s see this manifestation of intolerance of uncertainty\u00a0 is is kind of like always thinking the bright\u00a0\u00a000:47:48<\/a>side is going to happen and always telling\u00a0 yourself the bright side is going to happen\u00a0\u00a0 so it’s not so much i don’t know what’s going\u00a0 to happen it’s everything’s going to be fine\u00a0\u00a0 no no no everything’s going to be fine just\u00a0 think positively it’s all going to be okay\u00a0\u00a000:48:03<\/a>well the thing is i i don’t know it’s all going to\u00a0 be okay so by telling myself that i i kind of know\u00a0\u00a0 that i’m sort of trying to pull the wool over\u00a0 my eyes it doesn’t really give me any sense of\u00a0\u00a0 comfort because i know it’s not true i know that i\u00a0 can’t know for certain that it’s going to be okay\u00a0\u00a000:48:28<\/a>so this is well like i said this is one that\u00a0 sometimes people do sometimes they don’t or\u00a0\u00a0 they don’t relate to but it is surprising when\u00a0 people will sometimes look at this manifestation\u00a0\u00a0 of intolerance of uncertainty say yeah no i don’t\u00a0 do that but once they start paying attention to\u00a0\u00a000:48:45<\/a>their behavior they realize oh wow i actually\u00a0 do that and i never realized that i was doing it the next manifestation of intolerance of\u00a0 uncertainty that i wanted to talk about\u00a0\u00a0 is double checking things or redoing them\u00a0 because i’m no longer certain that i did\u00a0\u00a000:49:04<\/a>them right in the first place so if i’m going\u00a0 to send an email i double and triple check that\u00a0\u00a0 email because i want to make sure there’s no\u00a0 spelling errors in it i want to make sure that\u00a0\u00a0 everything’s clear or there’s no way of\u00a0 misinterpreting what i’m saying or i don’t want\u00a0\u00a000:49:21<\/a>to offend someone so i want to make sure that the\u00a0 tone is is right in that email so i’ll double and\u00a0\u00a0 triple check it i i won’t send it\u00a0 i’ll come back to it and read it over\u00a0\u00a0 again this kills efficiency because i can’t\u00a0 just send an email i have to read it over\u00a0\u00a000:49:40<\/a>and read it over and read it over and try to\u00a0 be certain that there’s nothing wrong with it and the final manifestation of intolerance\u00a0 of uncertainty that i wanted to talk about\u00a0\u00a0 today is over protecting others\u00a0 uh taking care of other people\u00a0\u00a000:50:01<\/a>this is a big one with parents and this is kind of\u00a0 like a variant of that earlier one that i talked\u00a0\u00a0 about which is not delegating tasks except in\u00a0 this case the tasks that aren’t being delegated\u00a0\u00a0 are allowing the person the other\u00a0 person to take care of themselves\u00a0\u00a000:50:19<\/a>so like i said this is a big one for parents who\u00a0 are overprotective or are over involved in their\u00a0\u00a0 children’s lives and their children’s behavior\u00a0 in their children’s relationships so uh they’re\u00a0\u00a0 the ones that are trying to uh fix or coordinate\u00a0 any sort of arguments or little fights between\u00a0\u00a000:50:41<\/a>their child and a friend or they do everything\u00a0 for their child because they want to make sure\u00a0\u00a0 that the child is okay or that everything gets\u00a0 done right for the child so what this does is it\u00a0\u00a0 it doesn’t really allow the person who’s being\u00a0 over protected from doing things on their own\u00a0\u00a000:51:02<\/a>from learning from their own mistakes so it’s like\u00a0 trying to cocoon them in this in this protective\u00a0\u00a0 bubble wrap but it doesn’t actually protect the\u00a0 person because ultimately they’re going to have\u00a0\u00a0 to learn to do these things on their own and so\u00a0 it really is about giving this person a giving\u00a0\u00a000:51:23<\/a>me a false sense of security and certainty that uh\u00a0 this person that i care about is going to be okay so that’s a lot of manifestations of intolerance\u00a0 of uncertainty and there’s a lot of different\u00a0\u00a0 ways that this intolerance of uncertainty\u00a0 can kind of weave its way into a person’s\u00a0\u00a000:51:45<\/a>life and this is one of the reasons why i\u00a0 really like this concept of intolerance of\u00a0\u00a0 uncertainty because you can think of it kind\u00a0 of like an umbrella concept that helps explain\u00a0\u00a0 why all of these various seemingly different\u00a0 behaviors are all serving or all attempting\u00a0\u00a000:52:04<\/a>to serve the same purpose so how is me avoiding\u00a0 returning a phone call to a friend the same as\u00a0\u00a0 me spending hours and hours researching a digital\u00a0 camera well because they’re both designed to try\u00a0\u00a0 and eliminate uncertainty in my world and in\u00a0 doing so they’re both maintaining my worry\u00a0\u00a000:52:27<\/a>and my anxiety that things are going to turn out\u00a0 badly or things are going to turn out negatively so may raise the the question of well so what\u00a0 what do i do with this information so i see\u00a0\u00a0 i’ve learned about all these manifestations of\u00a0 intolerance of uncertainty what now so the idea is\u00a0\u00a000:52:50<\/a>to spend some time observing your behavior and\u00a0 looking for personal examples in your life of the\u00a0\u00a0 various ways in which intolerance of uncertainty\u00a0 may have manifested itself in terms of your\u00a0\u00a0 behavior once you start looking for it what you\u00a0 may recognize is that there’s all sorts of ways\u00a0\u00a000:53:12<\/a>in which you’ve been behaving that are designed\u00a0 to eliminate or reduce or avoid uncertainty in\u00a0\u00a0 your life and it’s that avoidance of uncertainty\u00a0 or that trying to eliminate uncertainty that may\u00a0\u00a0 be one of the big things that’s perpetuating\u00a0 or maintaining your worry and your anxiety\u00a0\u00a000:53:35<\/a>so one of the things i often encourage people to\u00a0 do is you know keep a list of these manifestations\u00a0\u00a0 of intolerance of uncertainty and spend a week or\u00a0 two paying attention to your behavior and seeing\u00a0\u00a0 which of these do i do and what are personal\u00a0 examples of each of these things that i do00:53:59<\/a>so the key to understanding building tolerance\u00a0 for uncertainty is to understand that when we\u00a0\u00a0 talk about worries we’re talking about thoughts\u00a0 that are predictions of something that’s going to\u00a0\u00a0 happen so the idea is to reconceptualize\u00a0 your worry or think about your worries\u00a0\u00a000:54:21<\/a>not so much as worries or factual things\u00a0 that are going to happen but essentially\u00a0\u00a0 predictions and hypotheses of what’s going\u00a0 to happen so the key way we build tolerance\u00a0\u00a0 for uncertainty is through behavioral exposure\u00a0 to uncertainty essentially doing what i call\u00a0\u00a000:54:45<\/a>tolerating uncertainty experiments so the idea\u00a0 with these tolerating uncertainty experiments\u00a0\u00a0 is to put those predictions to the test and\u00a0 see how accurate those predictions actually\u00a0\u00a0 are so for example if i’m avoiding returning\u00a0 a phone call to a friend because i’m concerned\u00a0\u00a000:55:07<\/a>they might be upset with me i might come up with a\u00a0 tolerating uncertainty experiment that gets me to\u00a0\u00a0 call my friend so that’s the behavior\u00a0 that’s the tolerating uncertainty experiment\u00a0\u00a0 behavior that i’m going to do\u00a0 return the phone call to my friend\u00a0\u00a000:55:28<\/a>the next thing to think about then is what\u00a0 is it that i’m worrying about what is my\u00a0\u00a0 worry telling me is going to happen\u00a0 when i return the phone call to a friend\u00a0\u00a0 so the idea is you’re setting up the experiment\u00a0 and you’re thinking about the hypothesis\u00a0\u00a000:55:51<\/a>the hypothesis or the prediction ahead of time and\u00a0 so what i’ll often give my clients is a worksheet\u00a0\u00a0 to help them organize these tolerating uncertainty\u00a0 experiments in their mind and i’ll put a link to\u00a0\u00a0 the worksheet down below so that you can download\u00a0 it and see it for yourself so the first two\u00a0\u00a000:56:10<\/a>the first two parts of the worksheet you do\u00a0 before you actually engage in the experiment\u00a0\u00a0 come up with the chosen behavior and then you\u00a0 think about what is it that i’m worrying is\u00a0\u00a0 going to happen what does my worry predict or\u00a0 what is my worry telling me is going to happen\u00a0\u00a000:56:30<\/a>now this is where worry awareness training\u00a0 becomes really important we talked about\u00a0\u00a0 worry awareness training right at the beginning of\u00a0 this series on worry management you need to know\u00a0\u00a0 what it is that you’re worrying about before\u00a0 you can actually begin to manage the worry\u00a0\u00a000:56:46<\/a>so the worry becomes central in this\u00a0 experiment this is what we’re testing\u00a0\u00a0 we’re testing whether or not the worry what\u00a0 we worry about is actually going to happen\u00a0\u00a0 so now i’ve come up with my behavior i’ve come\u00a0 up with my hypothesis the worry prediction\u00a0\u00a000:57:05<\/a>then i go and do the experiment i actually pick\u00a0 up the phone and i call my friend this is the data\u00a0\u00a0 collection portion of the experiment and i write\u00a0 down and i record what actually happened i called\u00a0\u00a0 my friend and they were really pleased to to hear\u00a0 from me they were surprised why i hadn’t returned\u00a0\u00a000:57:29<\/a>their call and uh they had some really exciting\u00a0 news to tell me and it turned out really well or\u00a0\u00a0 i call my friend and they tell me that they’ve got\u00a0 some bad news they just lost their job and they\u00a0\u00a0 were calling me up to get some support or\u00a0 to get some advice as to what they should do\u00a0\u00a000:57:50<\/a>or i call my friend and they are really angry with\u00a0 me and they’re really upset because i keep flaking\u00a0\u00a0 out on them and i’m never available for them\u00a0 when they call whatever the outcome i record it\u00a0\u00a0 and then i come up with my conclusion\u00a0 based on the outcome was my worry accurate\u00a0\u00a000:58:14<\/a>was my worry prediction did it actually come true\u00a0\u00a0 so if you think about this if you do say a hundred\u00a0 of these tolerating uncertainty experiments\u00a0\u00a0 and 95 of the hundred tolerating uncertainty\u00a0 experiments turn out negatively so they turn\u00a0\u00a000:58:34<\/a>out badly 95 percent of the time what\u00a0 does that tell you about uncertainty well what it tells you about\u00a0 uncertainty is that uncertainty is bad\u00a0\u00a0 that uncertainty is something to be afraid of that\u00a0 most of the time the vast majority of the time\u00a0\u00a000:58:55<\/a>when i’m uncertain about something bad\u00a0 things will happen and so what i should\u00a0\u00a0 do is get better at avoiding uncertainty get\u00a0 better at eliminating uncertainty in my life\u00a0\u00a0 if 95 of the time these tolerating\u00a0 uncertainty experiments turn out badly00:59:17<\/a>but what if 95 of the 100 experiments that i\u00a0 do turn out either neutral or positively what\u00a0\u00a0 does that tell me about uncertainty well what it\u00a0 tells me about uncertainty is 19 times out of 20\u00a0\u00a0 the uncertainty is just fine nothing bad happens\u00a0 and so how do you think that’s going to change\u00a0\u00a000:59:44<\/a>how i orient myself towards uncertainty how\u00a0 do you think that’s going to change how i\u00a0\u00a0 think about and feel about uncertainty well i’m\u00a0 probably not going to be as afraid of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 if through a hundred experiences\u00a0 with it it’s turned out just fine01:00:04<\/a>so the idea here isn’t to try and convince\u00a0 yourself through logic or just rational thinking\u00a0\u00a0 that uncertainty is okay the idea here is for you\u00a0 to determine how you should feel about uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 through experiences with uncertainty and\u00a0 by setting up these tolerating uncertainty\u00a0\u00a001:00:27<\/a>experiments you’re giving yourself\u00a0 explicit examples of times where you\u00a0\u00a0 did something you were uncertain about you\u00a0 were worrying that this was going to happen\u00a0\u00a0 and what you were worrying\u00a0 about didn’t actually happen\u00a0\u00a001:00:46<\/a>and the more you see to the more you sort of\u00a0 see and the more you observe and the more you\u00a0\u00a0 demonstrate to yourself that the things that\u00a0 you worry about don’t actually happen the less\u00a0\u00a0 weight the less uh importance the less\u00a0 value you’re going to put on your worries\u00a0\u00a001:01:10<\/a>it’s kind of like if every time the weatherman\u00a0 said that it was going to rain it was sunny\u00a0\u00a0 and every time the weatherman said it was going\u00a0 to be sunny it rained essentially the weatherman’s\u00a0\u00a0 terrible at predicting the weather so the next\u00a0 time the weatherman says it’s going to rain\u00a0\u00a001:01:32<\/a>you’re not going to take your umbrella\u00a0 because you know it’s going to be sunny\u00a0\u00a0 if your predictions are not very good\u00a0 you’re not going to put much weight\u00a0\u00a0 or much value in those predictions and\u00a0 that’s all worry is it is a prediction\u00a0\u00a001:01:49<\/a>so that’s one way of building tolerance for\u00a0 uncertainty actually setting up these tolerating\u00a0\u00a0 uncertainty experiments using the worksheet that\u00a0 you can download and fill out you fill out the\u00a0\u00a0 first two sections before you do the experiment\u00a0 what is the experiment and what is your prediction\u00a0\u00a001:02:10<\/a>then you do it you record the data\u00a0 and you record your conclusion\u00a0\u00a0 so it’s sort of forward thinking pre-planned\u00a0 tolerating uncertainty experiment\u00a0\u00a0 the second way of building tolerance for\u00a0 uncertainty is taking advantage of naturally\u00a0\u00a001:02:30<\/a>occurring opportunities in your life to do\u00a0 things that you’re uncertain about the reality is\u00a0\u00a0 we’re faced with uncertainty every day multiple\u00a0 times a day and the vast majority of the time\u00a0\u00a0 that uncertainty is turning out fine we’re\u00a0 just not even really aware we’re not even\u00a0\u00a001:02:48<\/a>processing that the uncertainty is turning out\u00a0 fine so what i often encourage clients to do\u00a0\u00a0 to try and take advantage of naturally occurring\u00a0 opportunities to be more tolerant of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 is to imagine the following question\u00a0 tattooed to the frontal lobe of their brain\u00a0\u00a001:03:10<\/a>so essentially they’re filtering their world\u00a0 through this question and the question is\u00a0\u00a0 if i were more tolerant of uncertainty\u00a0 what would i do in this situation if i were more tolerant of uncertainty would\u00a0 i order the same thing i always order in this\u00a0\u00a001:03:31<\/a>restaurant or would i order something different\u00a0 if i were more tolerant of uncertainty would i ask\u00a0\u00a0 that person out for a date or would i stay in my\u00a0 seat and not say anything if i were more tolerant\u00a0\u00a0 for uncertainty would i answer the call even\u00a0 though the i don’t recognize the number or would\u00a0\u00a001:03:54<\/a>i let it go to voicemail if i were more tolerant\u00a0 of uncertainty would i speak up and express my\u00a0\u00a0 opinion in this meeting at work or would i stay\u00a0 quiet and wait to see what everybody else says you have countless opportunities to tolerate\u00a0 uncertainty on a daily basis you just have to\u00a0\u00a001:04:18<\/a>look for those opportunities and take advantage of\u00a0 those opportunities when they present themselves\u00a0\u00a0 i were more tolerant of uncertainty\u00a0 what would i do in this situation\u00a0\u00a0 you don’t have to do all of the tolerating\u00a0 uncertainties things but just be aware of it\u00a0\u00a001:04:39<\/a>just keep that question in mind help that orient\u00a0 you towards uncertainty to look for uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 in your day-to-day life and every once in a\u00a0 while do the uncertain thing and see what happens because what you do by doing these\u00a0 tolerating uncertainty experiments either\u00a0\u00a001:05:01<\/a>the ones that are pre-planned or the ones\u00a0 that are just taking advantage of naturally\u00a0\u00a0 occurring opportunities that come up you\u00a0 can think of what you’re doing kind of like\u00a0\u00a0 putting money in a tolerating uncertainty\u00a0 bank account what you’re doing is you’re\u00a0\u00a001:05:17<\/a>having conscious explicit experiences with\u00a0 uncertainty where you think about what it\u00a0\u00a0 is that you are concerned is going to happen\u00a0 and then compare it to what actually happens\u00a0\u00a0 and by being aware of that and seeing that the\u00a0 uncertainty doesn’t turn out badly all the time\u00a0\u00a001:05:38<\/a>or rarely turns out badly what you’re doing\u00a0 is it’s almost like you’re making deposits\u00a0\u00a0 in this tolerating uncertainty bank account\u00a0 each time you do one of these experiments\u00a0\u00a0 and so through these ex through these experiences\u00a0 with uncertainty the more and more of these\u00a0\u00a001:05:56<\/a>experiences that you have with uncertainty where\u00a0 uncertainty turns out well or fine or not negative\u00a0\u00a0 that tolerating uncertainty bank account gets\u00a0 bigger and bigger and so when you’re faced with\u00a0\u00a0 a bigger uncertainty in life what you can do\u00a0 is you can draw from this bank account you can\u00a0\u00a001:06:18<\/a>think about and reflect on all of the various\u00a0 experiences you’ve had with uncertainty in your\u00a0\u00a0 life where it turned out fine and so if all\u00a0 of those uncertainties turned out fine there’s\u00a0\u00a0 a good chance this big uncertainty that i’m\u00a0 concerned about is going to turn out fine as well01:06:39<\/a>so those are the two main ways of\u00a0 building tolerance for uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 planning ahead and actually setting up\u00a0 experiments and taking advantage of the\u00a0\u00a0 numerous opportunities you have in your\u00a0 day-to-day life to tolerate uncertainty\u00a0\u00a001:06:58<\/a>if i were more tolerant of uncertainty\u00a0 what would i do in this situation so today we’re going to be talking about\u00a0 another factor that perpetuates excessive worry\u00a0\u00a0 and that relates to this notion of beliefs about\u00a0 the usefulness of worry one of the things that\u00a0\u00a001:07:22<\/a>we know about people who tend to worry a lot is\u00a0 that they tend to hold beliefs that the worry is\u00a0\u00a0 actually serving some benefit for them so when\u00a0 i first bring this up with a lot of my clients\u00a0\u00a0 what they tend to do is kind of look at me\u00a0 a little bit odd and say hold on a second\u00a0\u00a001:07:40<\/a>um i recognize that my worry is causing me\u00a0 a lot of problems and now you’re telling me\u00a0\u00a0 that i have some underlying beliefs that worry\u00a0 is actually serving me some benefit or that i\u00a0\u00a0 think it’s doing something good for me so the\u00a0 way i like to sort of introduce this concept\u00a0\u00a001:08:02<\/a>of beliefs about the usefulness of worry is\u00a0 to use an example and the example is that\u00a0\u00a0 i change the oil in my car every 5 000\u00a0 kilometers because i believe that changing\u00a0\u00a0 the oil in my car every 5 000 kilometers\u00a0 is good for the long-term maintenance\u00a0\u00a001:08:19<\/a>of the vehicle it helps with the efficiency it\u00a0 helps with preventing costly repairs down the line\u00a0\u00a0 and it’s just something that’s good to do\u00a0 because it helps my car run well and problem free\u00a0\u00a0 now suppose one day a friend of mine pulls me\u00a0 aside and this friend knows everything there\u00a0\u00a001:08:40<\/a>is to know about cars and this friend\u00a0 says to me hey ramy you know that whole\u00a0\u00a0 oil change every 5 000 kilometers thing it’s a bit\u00a0 of a scam by the oil companies all they’re really\u00a0\u00a0 trying to do is to get you to buy more oil nothing\u00a0 bad is happening to the engine oil it’s perfectly\u00a0\u00a001:09:02<\/a>fine you don’t need to change it at all now if i\u00a0 believed what my friend was telling me how would\u00a0\u00a0 that change my behavior would i continue to change\u00a0 the oil in my car every five thousand kilometers\u00a0\u00a0 well probably not because the only reason i’m\u00a0 changing oil in my car every five thousand\u00a0\u00a001:09:24<\/a>kilometers is because i believe that changing\u00a0 oil in my car every five thousand kilometers\u00a0\u00a0 is serving me some benefit some usefulness the\u00a0 moment i stop seeing any usefulness or benefit\u00a0\u00a0 to changing the oil every 5000 kilometers\u00a0 then i’m going to stop doing it\u00a0\u00a001:09:44<\/a>so now relating this to excessive worry what we\u00a0 know is that for people who tend to worry a lot\u00a0\u00a0 they tend to hold beliefs that worry is actually\u00a0 serving some benefit some usefulness for them so\u00a0\u00a0 the first belief is this notion that worry helps\u00a0 motivate me the idea that uh when i’m worrying\u00a0\u00a001:10:11<\/a>about something it’s activating me to go and do\u00a0 something about it it’s activating me to engage\u00a0\u00a0 rather than just being really relaxed about it and\u00a0 if i’m not worrying about it i’m not really going\u00a0\u00a0 to be all that motivated to do anything to engage\u00a0 in an activity to try and change the situation at\u00a0\u00a001:10:33<\/a>all so the notion here is that worry in and\u00a0 of itself acts as a motivator to be that sort\u00a0\u00a0 of that spark under me or that kick in the pants\u00a0 that i need to get going and uh and do something the second common belief about the usefulness of\u00a0 worry is that worry helps with problem solving\u00a0\u00a001:10:59<\/a>now the idea behind this is that\u00a0 if i’m worrying about a problem\u00a0\u00a0 it’s keeping the problem in my mind it’s helping\u00a0 me think about the problem a lot and by thinking\u00a0\u00a0 about the problem a lot what that’s doing is it’s\u00a0 helping me potentially come up with solutions\u00a0\u00a001:11:19<\/a>uh or you know ways of addressing this\u00a0 problem that i may not otherwise have\u00a0\u00a0 if i wasn’t worrying about it as much so\u00a0 the idea here is that the worry benefits me\u00a0\u00a0 because it helps keep a problem in my mind and\u00a0 helps me figure out ways to solve that problem01:11:43<\/a>the third common worry belief is it’s\u00a0 got a bit of a superstitious flavor to it\u00a0\u00a0 and the idea here is that worry in and of\u00a0 itself can prevent bad things from happening\u00a0\u00a0 another way of thinking about it\u00a0 is if i don’t worry about something\u00a0\u00a001:12:04<\/a>then it’s almost like i’m jinxing myself\u00a0 it’s almost like uh if i don’t worry about\u00a0\u00a0 this presentation that i’m going to give then that\u00a0 will be the time and that will be the presentation\u00a0\u00a0 that things go really badly it’s almost like the\u00a0 universe is giving me a smack on the backside\u00a0\u00a001:12:24<\/a>for not worrying enough or not being concerned\u00a0 enough about this presentation so the notion\u00a0\u00a0 here is that worry in and of itself can prevent\u00a0 bad things from happening related to this but\u00a0\u00a0 just a little bit differently is this notion that\u00a0 worry can protect me from future negative emotions\u00a0\u00a001:12:53<\/a>so if i’m worrying about something bad happening\u00a0 it’s almost like i’m emotionally preparing myself\u00a0\u00a0 just in case that bad thing were to happen so i\u00a0 won’t be caught off guard i won’t be surprised i\u00a0\u00a0 won’t be blindsided by the negative thing because\u00a0 i’ve been worrying about it and i’ve been thinking\u00a0\u00a001:13:16<\/a>about it so the notion here is that if the bad\u00a0 thing were to happen well i’ve already kind of\u00a0\u00a0 pre-prepared myself for the negative\u00a0 thing and i’ve prepared myself emotionally\u00a0\u00a0 to deal with it so i’m not caught\u00a0 off guard and i’m not surprised\u00a0\u00a001:13:38<\/a>and the final worry belief is this notion\u00a0 that ruri represents a positive personality\u00a0\u00a0 characteristic essentially what kind of person\u00a0 would i be if i didn’t worry about my children\u00a0\u00a0 what kind of person would i be if i didn’t\u00a0 worry about my relationship what kind of\u00a0\u00a001:13:59<\/a>person would i be if i didn’t worry about my\u00a0 performance at work it’s almost like worry\u00a0\u00a0 acts as this this measure of how much i care\u00a0 how conscientious how responsible i am so by\u00a0\u00a0 worrying it demonstrates that i care about these\u00a0 things that i’m responsible that i’m conscientious\u00a0\u00a001:14:25<\/a>and so that’s actually a really good thing it\u00a0 demonstrates a really positive aspect or really\u00a0\u00a0 positive aspects of my personality so if you\u00a0 think about these five worry beliefs if worry\u00a0\u00a0 actually did serve to motivate me help me solve\u00a0 problems prevented bad things from happening\u00a0\u00a001:14:54<\/a>protected me from future negative emotions and\u00a0 demonstrated a positive personality characteristic\u00a0\u00a0 well then that would seem to to be\u00a0 something that i should be doing\u00a0\u00a0 of course i should be worrying if it\u00a0 actually served all of these purposes01:15:15<\/a>but as you can probably guess worry doesn’t\u00a0 actually do any of these five things and\u00a0\u00a0 i’ll explain why it doesn’t in uh the next\u00a0 video uh but you may now raise the question\u00a0\u00a0 of okay well well so what what do i do with this\u00a0 information now you’ve you’ve told me about five\u00a0\u00a001:15:38<\/a>worry beliefs that promote anxiety and promote\u00a0 worry so what what can i do with this information\u00a0\u00a0 well the first thing to do is to use these worry\u00a0 beliefs and notice them when you catch yourself\u00a0\u00a0 worrying the idea here is that for a lot\u00a0 of people this this concept of part of the\u00a0\u00a001:16:01<\/a>reason why i worry excessively is because i think\u00a0 that the worry is doing something positive for me\u00a0\u00a0 this is a bit of a foreign concept people often\u00a0 when i work with my clients they’ve never thought\u00a0\u00a0 about any potential benefits that they may have\u00a0 perceived that worry is giving them and so the\u00a0\u00a001:16:21<\/a>first step is to just be aware of which of these\u00a0 worry beliefs actually play a role in my worry now\u00a0\u00a0 there may be some of these worry beliefs that\u00a0 you’re sort of that we’re talking about that\u00a0\u00a0 right away you’re saying no that doesn’t that\u00a0 doesn’t apply to me i don’t believe that at all\u00a0\u00a001:16:41<\/a>it’s not so much whether or not you believe\u00a0 the worry belief to be 100 true all the time\u00a0\u00a0 but it’s more like you want to ask\u00a0 yourself the question am i behaving as if\u00a0\u00a0 i believe this worry belief to be true and so uh\u00a0 for a week or two spend some time paying attention\u00a0\u00a001:17:03<\/a>to a what it is that you’re worrying about and\u00a0 then when you notice what you’re worrying about\u00a0\u00a0 ask yourself are there any of these five worry\u00a0 beliefs that may be playing a role in this worry\u00a0\u00a0 because once you’re aware of the common\u00a0 worry beliefs that you tend to use\u00a0\u00a001:17:24<\/a>then you can begin working on challenging those\u00a0 worry beliefs and evaluating whether or not those\u00a0\u00a0 worry beliefs are true but you can’t do that\u00a0 unless you’re aware of what the worry beliefs\u00a0\u00a0 actually are but once you identify the worry\u00a0 beliefs the question then becomes okay well what\u00a0\u00a001:17:50<\/a>do i do with that information so if i know that\u00a0 i’m engaging in this worry in part because i hold\u00a0\u00a0 this worry belief how can i go about changing\u00a0 that and that’s what we’re going to be talking\u00a0\u00a0 about today ways of challenging the validity\u00a0 of these beliefs and assumptions about worry so\u00a0\u00a001:18:13<\/a>what we’re going to do is go through each of the\u00a0 five worry beliefs and talk about different ways\u00a0\u00a0 and different questions to ask yourself to help\u00a0 you challenge the validity of the worry belief\u00a0\u00a0 because it’s important not only\u00a0 to recognize that the worry belief\u00a0\u00a001:18:30<\/a>isn’t true or that the worry belief is a\u00a0 myth but also to understand why it’s not true\u00a0\u00a0 because that results in a much more compelling\u00a0 challenge to the usefulness of the worry\u00a0\u00a0 so the first worry belief that we talked about\u00a0 is this notion that worry acts as a motivator\u00a0\u00a001:18:53<\/a>that worry is the kick in the pants that i need\u00a0 to get going to engage in in doing things that\u00a0\u00a0 if i didn’t worry i wouldn’t be particularly\u00a0 motivated i wouldn’t be particularly successful\u00a0\u00a0 here are some questions to think about how you’d\u00a0 go about challenging that belief so if you believe\u00a0\u00a001:19:14<\/a>that worry does actually motivate you well have\u00a0 you ever met anyone or ever known anyone who was\u00a0\u00a0 really successful and was really able to motivate\u00a0 themselves who didn’t seem to worry excessively\u00a0\u00a0 well if so then what that means is that\u00a0 worry isn’t a necessary component for success\u00a0\u00a001:19:38<\/a>or motivation another question to ask yourself is\u00a0 does worry dramatically improve your performance\u00a0\u00a0 or your ability if so by what percentage it does\u00a0 it make a big change so when you’re worrying a lot\u00a0\u00a0 do you find that you perform even better or do\u00a0 you find that sometimes when you’re worrying a lot\u00a0\u00a001:20:04<\/a>it actually interferes with motivation it actually\u00a0 causes problems that make you less motivated\u00a0\u00a0 to engage in activity or to do something\u00a0 so think about how you feel when you’re\u00a0\u00a0 worrying excessively what does that do to\u00a0 concentration what does that do to energy level\u00a0\u00a001:20:26<\/a>so if you’re worrying a lot and it’s causing\u00a0 you to lose focus or lose concentration\u00a0\u00a0 how exactly does that help motivate you if your\u00a0 worrying is so exhausting and wearing you out\u00a0\u00a0 so much how does that um how does that help you\u00a0 get things done if you don’t have as much energy\u00a0\u00a001:20:53<\/a>when you’re worrying a lot what does that do to\u00a0 your tendency to want to engage in an activity\u00a0\u00a0 when we talked about intolerance of uncertainty\u00a0 we talked about one of the manifestations of\u00a0\u00a0 intolerance of uncertainty is procrastination so\u00a0 if worrying is causing you to procrastinate a lot\u00a0\u00a001:21:13<\/a>how exactly can that be something that’s\u00a0 consistent with something that helps motivate you\u00a0\u00a0 so these are some of the questions to ask yourself\u00a0 to challenge that belief that worry helps motivate\u00a0\u00a0 me so the next worry belief that we talked\u00a0 about is that worry helps with problem solving\u00a0\u00a001:21:32<\/a>it’s this notion that by worrying a lot about\u00a0 the problem it keeps the problem in my mind\u00a0\u00a0 and it helps me come up with solutions for that\u00a0 problem so if we want to look at whether or not\u00a0\u00a0 this belief is true you want to ask yourself the\u00a0 question does worry actually solve the problem\u00a0\u00a001:21:52<\/a>is worrying the same as problem solving well\u00a0 worrying as we talked about in an earlier video\u00a0\u00a0 is essentially looping a feared negative outcome\u00a0 over and over and over again in your head it is\u00a0\u00a0 something that you’re doing cognitively it’s\u00a0 something that is just a bunch of thoughts\u00a0\u00a001:22:12<\/a>spinning in your head whereas problem solving\u00a0 is a much more active behavioral task you’re\u00a0\u00a0 defining problems you’re coming up with possible\u00a0 solutions you’re implementing solutions you’re\u00a0\u00a0 doing something about it so what you want to be\u00a0 clear on is are you worrying or are you problem\u00a0\u00a001:22:36<\/a>solving and you don’t want to be mixing up the two\u00a0 because worrying isn’t the same as problem solving\u00a0\u00a0 worry doesn’t have any effect on the world worry\u00a0 is something that you’re doing in your head\u00a0\u00a0 it doesn’t actually solve a\u00a0 problem so being very careful to\u00a0\u00a001:22:54<\/a>distinguish between worrying\u00a0 versus active problem solving\u00a0\u00a0 another question to ask yourself just like with\u00a0 the the previous worry belief is do you know\u00a0\u00a0 anyone who’s really good at solving problems\u00a0 who’s able to get things done who’s able to\u00a0\u00a001:23:13<\/a>figure out solutions to problems who doesn’t worry\u00a0 excessively well if you’re able to identify at\u00a0\u00a0 least one person in your life who doesn’t worry\u00a0 excessively but is still able to solve problems\u00a0\u00a0 what that suggests is maybe you don’t need to\u00a0 worry excessively to be good at solving problems01:23:36<\/a>and tying back to another question that we\u00a0 asked earlier think about what worry does to\u00a0\u00a0 your anxiety levels and think about when you’re\u00a0 feeling really anxious what does that do to how\u00a0\u00a0 well you’re able to think clearly how well you’re\u00a0 able to concentrate how well you’re able to\u00a0\u00a001:23:56<\/a>think creatively well we know that worry\u00a0 and anxiety interfere in all of these things\u00a0\u00a0 so by worrying what you’re doing is you’re making\u00a0 it more difficult to concentrate you’re making it\u00a0\u00a0 more difficult to think clearly through situations\u00a0 and you’re making it more difficult to think more\u00a0\u00a001:24:18<\/a>clearly or more creatively so by worrying\u00a0 what you’re doing is actually interfering in\u00a0\u00a0 the cognitive skills and the tools that you need\u00a0 for effective problem solving so these are some\u00a0\u00a0 questions to ask yourself if you believe and if\u00a0 you think that worry helps you solve your problems01:24:42<\/a>now the third worry belief we talked about has\u00a0 a bit of a superstitious flavor to it and it’s\u00a0\u00a0 this notion that worry can prevent bad things\u00a0 from happening just the act of worrying can\u00a0\u00a0 uh help prevent me from being jinxed uh or\u00a0 can prevent the bad thing from occurring well\u00a0\u00a001:25:06<\/a>to challenge this belief you want to ask yourself\u00a0 some questions based on experience have you ever\u00a0\u00a0 worried about something bad happening\u00a0 and the bad thing actually did happen\u00a0\u00a0 well if we were to able to prevent bad things\u00a0 from happening then every time you worried\u00a0\u00a001:25:26<\/a>the bad thing shouldn’t happen\u00a0 think about potentially setting up a\u00a0\u00a0 an experiment one thing i i’ll often get people\u00a0 who hold this worry belief to do is to go out and\u00a0\u00a0 buy a lottery ticket and then for one week to\u00a0 spend five to ten minutes every day worrying\u00a0\u00a001:25:49<\/a>excessively worrying as hard as they can about\u00a0 having wasted their money on that lottery ticket think about what should happen then if worry can\u00a0 prevent bad things from happening what should\u00a0\u00a0 happen well they should win the lottery because\u00a0 by worrying about having wasted their money on\u00a0\u00a001:26:14<\/a>the ticket if worry can prevent the bad thing from\u00a0 taking place can prevent the negative outcome then\u00a0\u00a0 the person shouldn’t experience a negative outcome\u00a0 which means that they should win the lottery\u00a0\u00a0 not once in all my years of doing this has a\u00a0 client come back and said hey guess what i won the\u00a0\u00a001:26:32<\/a>lottery so that’s another way of challenging this\u00a0 notion that worry can in and of itself have some\u00a0\u00a0 impact on the outcome you also want to think about\u00a0 is it the worry that’s preventing the negative\u00a0\u00a0 outcome or is it things that you’re doing that are\u00a0 preventing the negative outcome so for example if\u00a0\u00a001:26:57<\/a>i’m worrying about a presentation that i’m going\u00a0 to give and that presentation turned out fine\u00a0\u00a0 after i worried excessively was it the worry\u00a0 that ensured that the presentation went well\u00a0\u00a0 or was it the fact that i prepared really\u00a0 well for the presentation that ensured that\u00a0\u00a001:27:15<\/a>the presentation went well is it maybe the fact\u00a0 that i kind of knew what i was talking about\u00a0\u00a0 that ensured that the presentation went well\u00a0 maybe it has nothing to do with the worry\u00a0\u00a0 a fourth common worry belief is this notion\u00a0 that by worrying about something bad happening\u00a0\u00a001:27:38<\/a>it almost protects me from future negative\u00a0 emotions by uh preparing me emotionally just\u00a0\u00a0 in case the bad thing were to happen so if the\u00a0 bad thing were to take place uh by worrying about\u00a0\u00a0 it what i’ve done is kind of prepared myself\u00a0 for that bad thing so i’m not caught off guard\u00a0\u00a001:27:58<\/a>i’m not surprised and in some ways then that that\u00a0 can help reduce the impact of the negative emotion\u00a0\u00a0 well have you ever worried\u00a0 about something bad happening\u00a0\u00a0 and the bad thing actually happened how did\u00a0 you feel afterwards did you say to yourself\u00a0\u00a001:28:17<\/a>yeah you know i don’t feel so bad because i’ve\u00a0 been worrying about it for the last three weeks\u00a0\u00a0 probably not another way i get people to think\u00a0 about this is it’s a bit abstract and it’s a bit\u00a0\u00a0 of a silly math uh puzzle but i like it because\u00a0 it it helps explain uh how to really get at this\u00a0\u00a001:28:38<\/a>notion or really challenge this notion that worry\u00a0 prevents me from feeling bad in case something bad\u00a0\u00a0 happens so i want you to think about\u00a0 sort of negative emotion in terms of\u00a0\u00a0 pieces of suck how much it would suck if this\u00a0 thing happened so suppose one of my big worries\u00a0\u00a001:29:00<\/a>is that my family is going to be killed in a motor\u00a0 vehicle accident and i worry about this a lot\u00a0\u00a0 well think about what that worry does in\u00a0 terms of how it makes me feel well it’s\u00a0\u00a0 probably going to suck to be worrying about this\u00a0 all the time and to be thinking about this all\u00a0\u00a001:29:24<\/a>the time so maybe that’s a hundred pieces of suck\u00a0 now imagine tragically one day my family is killed\u00a0\u00a0 in a motor vehicle accident say that is a thousand\u00a0 pieces of suck well do you think the moment i\u00a0\u00a0 pick up the phone and uh hear the message that my\u00a0 family’s been killed in a motor vehicle accident\u00a0\u00a001:29:54<\/a>do you think that moment when i hear that news\u00a0 that i’m going to be saying to myself wow it’s\u00a0\u00a0 a good thing that i’ve been worrying about\u00a0 this for so long i don’t feel so bad right now\u00a0\u00a0 no it’s gonna suck it’s gonna suck that thousand\u00a0 pieces of sock whether or not i’ve been worrying\u00a0\u00a001:30:13<\/a>about it or not so if you do the math i worry\u00a0 excessively about my family being killed\u00a0\u00a0 in an accident that’s a hundred pieces of suck\u00a0 my family is killed in a motor vehicle accident\u00a0\u00a0 that adds a thousand pieces of suck to the\u00a0 equation so what am i left with i’m left with\u00a0\u00a001:30:37<\/a>1100 pieces of suck well suppose i don’t worry\u00a0 excessively about it well i have zero pieces\u00a0\u00a0 of suck and then if the bad thing were to actually\u00a0 happen i have a thousand pieces of sock so the net\u00a0\u00a0 result is i end up with a thousand pieces of sock\u00a0 it’s still better than the 1100 pieces of sock\u00a0\u00a001:31:01<\/a>now suppose my family never gets killed in\u00a0 a motor vehicle accident well i’m worrying\u00a0\u00a0 about it happening so that’s a hundred pieces\u00a0 of suck it doesn’t happen that’s zero pieces of\u00a0\u00a0 sock i’m left with a hundred pieces of sock but\u00a0 if i don’t worry about it it’s zero pieces of\u00a0\u00a001:31:19<\/a>sock if it never happens that’s zero pieces\u00a0 of sock i end up with zero pieces of sock\u00a0\u00a0 so um it’s a bit of a a sort of a strange or silly\u00a0 math puzzle but what i find is that for a lot of\u00a0\u00a0 my clients it really resonates with them you know\u00a0 just do the math how many pieces of suck are you\u00a0\u00a001:31:40<\/a>actually saving by worrying about this probably\u00a0 not any and you’re probably actually making\u00a0\u00a0 the situation worse so the final worry belief\u00a0 i want to talk about challenging is this notion\u00a0\u00a0 that worry represents a positive personality\u00a0 characteristic that by worrying excessively\u00a0\u00a001:32:01<\/a>it demonstrates a sense of caring a sense of\u00a0 responsibility a sense of conscientiousness\u00a0\u00a0 this is a big worry belief for parents especially\u00a0 moms who who often tell me what kind of person\u00a0\u00a0 would i be if what kind of mother would\u00a0 i be if i didn’t worry about my children\u00a0\u00a001:32:24<\/a>and so i asked the question well what are some\u00a0 of the other characteristics that make you a\u00a0\u00a0 good mother aside from worrying can you think of\u00a0 any other characteristics that are important to be\u00a0\u00a0 a good mother another way of thinking about it is\u00a0 does the worry ever interfere in you being able to\u00a0\u00a001:32:45<\/a>be your best does it ever interfere in terms of\u00a0 how well you’re able to engage in relationships\u00a0\u00a0 how well you’re able to be present in situations\u00a0 does the worry ever interfere in those things\u00a0\u00a0 well if so then how can it be a positive\u00a0 personality characteristic how can it be\u00a0\u00a001:33:07<\/a>a positive personality characteristic if\u00a0 it interferes in your relationships if\u00a0\u00a0 none of your friends or people close to you\u00a0 think that your tendency to worry is a good thing\u00a0\u00a0 do you know conscientious responsible caring\u00a0 loving people who don’t worry excessively\u00a0\u00a001:33:28<\/a>if so then worry probably isn’t necessary to\u00a0 be conscientious to be caring to be responsible so these are the five worry beliefs and\u00a0 these are some questions to help you\u00a0\u00a0 challenge each of those worry beliefs\u00a0 and so you might be thinking now okay\u00a0\u00a001:33:52<\/a>well so what what can i do with this how do i\u00a0 actually use this information to help me worry\u00a0\u00a0 less so the way you do it is through something\u00a0 we call cognitive therapy and this is essentially\u00a0\u00a0 thinking about your thinking now this is a bit\u00a0 of a challenging task because we’re not typically\u00a0\u00a001:34:13<\/a>used to thinking about what we’re thinking and\u00a0 we’re definitely not used to thinking about\u00a0\u00a0 our thoughts about what we’re thinking and that’s\u00a0 kind of what we’re doing here so you have to be\u00a0\u00a0 aware of what your worry is that’s cognitive layer\u00a0 one then you have to be aware of your worry belief\u00a0\u00a001:34:34<\/a>that’s cognitive layer two and now we’re\u00a0 challenging the beliefs about the usefulness\u00a0\u00a0 of worry that’s cognitive layer three so this is\u00a0 a bit of a challenging task if you’re trying to\u00a0\u00a0 do it all in your head and so to help uh to help\u00a0 be better able to challenge these worry beliefs\u00a0\u00a001:34:57<\/a>i’ve come up with a series of questions\u00a0 to help you work through this and i\u00a0\u00a0 have a worksheet that i give my clients and i’ll\u00a0 be linking to it in the description down below\u00a0\u00a0 so you can download and take a look at this but it\u00a0 helps you organize your thoughts to help challenge\u00a0\u00a001:35:15<\/a>the beliefs that you have about the usefulness\u00a0 of the worry so the way it works is the first\u00a0\u00a0 thing you need to do is identify what it is that\u00a0 you’re worrying about this again goes back to that\u00a0\u00a0 foundational skill i talked about in the very\u00a0 first video which is worry awareness training\u00a0\u00a001:35:34<\/a>being aware of what it is that you’re\u00a0 worrying about so you identify your worry\u00a0\u00a0 then the next question to ask yourself is what\u00a0 are the beliefs about the usefulness of this worry\u00a0\u00a0 that may be playing a role in this worry\u00a0 do i think this worry is helping motivate\u00a0\u00a001:35:51<\/a>me do i think this worry is helping me solve\u00a0 problems do i think this worry shows that i’m\u00a0\u00a0 a caring person do i think that this worry is\u00a0 going to prevent something bad from happening\u00a0\u00a0 do i think this worry is going to protect me\u00a0 from negative emotions in case something bad\u00a0\u00a001:36:06<\/a>does happen so you identify which of the worry\u00a0 beliefs might be playing a role in this worry the\u00a0\u00a0 third question then to ask is if i had to prove\u00a0 to myself that these beliefs may not be true\u00a0\u00a0 what are some of the things what is some\u00a0 of the evidence that i would point out\u00a0\u00a001:36:31<\/a>so essentially using some of those questions\u00a0 i talked about earlier and challenging each of\u00a0\u00a0 these worry beliefs so if i think that this worry\u00a0 about my child shows that i’m a caring parent i\u00a0\u00a0 may want to start asking myself some questions\u00a0 of well does does my worry ever interfere with\u00a0\u00a001:36:53<\/a>me being a good parent does my worry ever make\u00a0 it more difficult for me to be present in these\u00a0\u00a0 situations and moments with my child well if\u00a0 so then how can that make me a good parent\u00a0\u00a0 so you’re using some of those questions\u00a0 to help challenge the worry belief01:37:14<\/a>then the fourth question you want to ask yourself\u00a0 is what’s the benefit for me continuing to worry\u00a0\u00a0 about this issue right now and it’s not uncommon\u00a0 for the answer to this question to be none\u00a0\u00a0 once you identified the worry belief and you’ve\u00a0 challenged the validity of the worry belief\u00a0\u00a001:37:39<\/a>oftentimes it’s easy for a person to see well\u00a0 there’s there’s no real benefit for me to continue\u00a0\u00a0 worrying about it that takes us to the fifth\u00a0 question which is okay if there’s no benefit\u00a0\u00a0 of continuing to worry about it what are the\u00a0 costs associated with worrying about it so when\u00a0\u00a001:38:00<\/a>you’re thinking about the costs associated with\u00a0 worry what you want to think about is things like\u00a0\u00a0 how does this worry or your tendency to worry\u00a0 interfere with your productivity your performance\u00a0\u00a0 um how does it make you feel how does it what\u00a0 is the impact that it has on your relationships\u00a0\u00a001:38:21<\/a>with other people what are the negative impacts\u00a0 that worrying excessively about this topic are\u00a0\u00a0 having on you and having on uh other people are\u00a0 there other people who seem to get similar results\u00a0\u00a0 as you without the same costs\u00a0 associated with this worry\u00a0\u00a001:38:46<\/a>so really thinking about what are the negatives\u00a0 associated with the worry what are the\u00a0\u00a0 negative impacts that this worry is having\u00a0 on you because you want to think about that\u00a0\u00a0 in the context of this equation that we’re looking\u00a0 at which is asking kind of the ultimate question\u00a0\u00a001:39:01<\/a>of should i continue to worry about this is\u00a0 there value in continuing to worry about this\u00a0\u00a0 so you’ve gone through these five questions\u00a0 what’s the worry what’s the benefits associated\u00a0\u00a0 with the perceived benefits associated with this\u00a0 worry what are some of the challenges uh to those\u00a0\u00a001:39:21<\/a>perceived benefits what is the potential\u00a0 benefit of continuing to worry about this\u00a0\u00a0 what is the cost of continuing to worry about this\u00a0 and based on all of that information you come up\u00a0\u00a0 with a conclusion a conclusion about now that\u00a0 i’ve thought through all of these things should\u00a0\u00a001:39:42<\/a>i continue to worry about this topic is there\u00a0 value in continuing to worry about this topic\u00a0\u00a0 and what you end up with is a much more compelling\u00a0 challenge a much more compelling challenge to\u00a0\u00a0 the purpose or the utility of that worry\u00a0 than what people typically do which is\u00a0\u00a001:40:01<\/a>just stop worrying about it it’s silly\u00a0 you shouldn’t be worrying about it well\u00a0\u00a0 this goes beyond that it’s not so dismissive of\u00a0 the worry it’s more about i know i should stop\u00a0\u00a0 worrying about it because of this this and this\u00a0 reason and because of this this and this cost\u00a0\u00a001:40:23<\/a>so it’s a much more compelling uh more rounded\u00a0 challenge to the validity of this worry\u00a0\u00a0 so this is a challenging skill it’s challenging\u00a0 because for the most part we’re not used to\u00a0\u00a0 thinking about our thinking so it takes a fair bit\u00a0 of practice and so i hope if you’re interested in\u00a0\u00a001:40:48<\/a>trying this out or using some of these skills\u00a0 please download that worksheet that’s in the\u00a0\u00a0 description section below and try it out uh don’t\u00a0 worry if you’re not getting it right off the bat\u00a0\u00a0 it is a challenging task but with practice\u00a0 what i find is that people get a lot better at\u00a0\u00a001:41:10<\/a>identifying and challenging some of the benefits\u00a0 they perceive that they’re getting from a worry what we’re going to be focusing on now is\u00a0 tools and skills specifically to address\u00a0\u00a0 type 1 worries so worries about actual problems\u00a0 so it may not become as much of a surprise that\u00a0\u00a001:41:36<\/a>the primary way we deal with type 1 worries is to\u00a0 solve the problem that’s contributing to the worry\u00a0\u00a0 and so that leads us to a question about you know\u00a0 why is it that people who worry a lot tend not to\u00a0\u00a0 have very effective or tend not to engage in\u00a0 very effective problem solving so uh there was\u00a0\u00a001:42:00<\/a>some studies that were done that looked at\u00a0 how is it that people who worry a lot how\u00a0\u00a0 how good are their problem solving skills\u00a0 compared to people who don’t worry a lot\u00a0\u00a0 and you might be surprised by the findings\u00a0 and what they found was that there’s actually\u00a0\u00a001:42:16<\/a>no difference in the problem-solving\u00a0 abilities of people who worry a lot\u00a0\u00a0 versus people who don’t worry a lot but what is\u00a0 different is that people who tend to worry a lot\u00a0\u00a0 tend not to use the problem-solving skills that\u00a0 they have whereas people who don’t worry a lot\u00a0\u00a001:42:35<\/a>tend to be able to use their problem-solving\u00a0 skills more frequently and more effectively\u00a0\u00a0 so you can think of this kind of like the way\u00a0 i like to think of it is it’s kind of like\u00a0\u00a0 a garage door where it doesn’t matter if you\u00a0 have the best problem solving skills in the world\u00a0\u00a001:42:54<\/a>you can have the ferrari of problem solving skills\u00a0 but if that garage door is down it doesn’t matter\u00a0\u00a0 if you have a ferrari in the garage or if you\u00a0 have a tricycle in the garage neither of those\u00a0\u00a0 problem solving skills are going to be able to\u00a0 get out of the garage and so this garage door is\u00a0\u00a001:43:12<\/a>something that we refer to as negative problem\u00a0 orientation it’s a tendency to view problems\u00a0\u00a0 in an overly negative way seeing problems as\u00a0 threatening as dangerous viewing myself as not\u00a0\u00a0 being very good at solving problems or addressing\u00a0 problems and so if i don’t think i’m very good at\u00a0\u00a001:43:35<\/a>solving problems if i don’t think that i\u00a0 should be having problems if i don’t think that\u00a0\u00a0 problems are are good or that every time i have\u00a0 a problem it means that there’s something wrong\u00a0\u00a0 i’m not going to be all that motivated to actually\u00a0 want to engage or do something about a problem\u00a0\u00a001:43:56<\/a>and so if i’m not actually engaging in a problem\u00a0 if if i procrastinate or i avoid dealing with\u00a0\u00a0 a problem what tends to happen to the problem\u00a0 well typically problems that you don’t deal with\u00a0\u00a0 don’t go away by themselves and they tend to\u00a0 fester and grow and mushroom until they become\u00a0\u00a001:44:18<\/a>a crisis and now it’s a crisis that you have\u00a0 to deal with and so you go into the situation\u00a0\u00a0 and now i’m dealing with a crisis situation and i\u00a0 deal with that crisis situation by spontaneously\u00a0\u00a0 coming up with the first thing that comes to\u00a0 mind to try and deal with this problem that\u00a0\u00a001:44:38<\/a>is not a very good recipe for effective problem\u00a0 solving a crisis situation and me spontaneously\u00a0\u00a0 coming up with a solution right off the top\u00a0 of my head to address this crisis situation\u00a0\u00a0 and so what that ends up happening is what ends\u00a0 up happening is i don’t really address the problem\u00a0\u00a001:45:00<\/a>very well and then that reinforces my negative\u00a0 beliefs and my negative views about problems\u00a0\u00a0 that problems are bad uh problems i shouldn’t have\u00a0 problems and i’m terrible at dealing with problems\u00a0\u00a0 and so as long as i hold those views and i don’t\u00a0 engage in problem solving that’s just going to\u00a0\u00a001:45:19<\/a>maintain the problems and it’s just going to\u00a0 maintain my worry about those problems so if we\u00a0\u00a0 want to improve worry management skills if we want\u00a0 to worry less about problems we need to get better\u00a0\u00a0 at solving problems and in order to get better\u00a0 at solving problems we have to be able to\u00a0\u00a001:45:40<\/a>use the problem-solving skills we have and\u00a0 in order to use those problem solving skills\u00a0\u00a0 we need to address this negative problem\u00a0 orientation we need to get the garage door\u00a0\u00a0 to move up and then to be able to let our\u00a0 problem solving skills out of the garage so\u00a0\u00a001:46:00<\/a>negative problem orientation tends\u00a0 to have sort of three components\u00a0\u00a0 to it and the first component of negative problem\u00a0 orientation is this tendency to see problems as\u00a0\u00a0 abnormal or that there’s something wrong\u00a0 with me that i have problems that uh other\u00a0\u00a001:46:21<\/a>people don’t seem to have the same problems\u00a0 that i do related to this is the idea that\u00a0\u00a0 problems should be solved quickly and easily\u00a0 and that if i’m not able to solve a problem\u00a0\u00a0 really quickly or if i’m not able to solve a\u00a0 problem the first time i try to solve the problem\u00a0\u00a001:46:39<\/a>then that means that there’s something wrong\u00a0 that i should be able to solve a problem quickly\u00a0\u00a0 and easily and if i can’t then that just\u00a0 goes to show that there’s something wrong\u00a0\u00a0 with this problem or there’s something wrong\u00a0 with me for having problems like this so that’s\u00a0\u00a001:46:58<\/a>one sort of manifestation of this negative problem\u00a0 orientation second manifestation of this negative\u00a0\u00a0 problem orientation is a tendency to focus\u00a0 entirely on the threat components of the problem\u00a0\u00a0 so when faced with a problem all i think\u00a0 about is all the things that could go wrong\u00a0\u00a001:47:21<\/a>so if you think about uh if you think about the\u00a0 possible outcomes of a problem on a continuum\u00a0\u00a0 where one end of the continuum is opportunity or\u00a0 challenge opportunities for things to work out\u00a0\u00a0 and the other end of the continuum are uh\u00a0 i see it as entirely threatening 100 threat\u00a0\u00a001:47:42<\/a>well what we know is that with people with\u00a0 this negative problem orientation for with\u00a0\u00a0 people who worry a lot they tend to gravitate more\u00a0 towards focusing on the threat aspect of a problem\u00a0\u00a0 and so if all you think about when\u00a0 you think about solving a problem\u00a0\u00a001:47:58<\/a>is all the things that could go wrong\u00a0 and how badly it can turn out that’s not\u00a0\u00a0 particularly motivating it’s not particularly\u00a0 good as a motivator to get me to do something\u00a0\u00a0 about that problem so i end up in this paralysis\u00a0 zone where all i’m really doing is focusing on the\u00a0\u00a001:48:18<\/a>negative potential outcomes and i’m\u00a0 paralyzed to do anything about it\u00a0\u00a0 so uh what ends up happening is i don’t really\u00a0 engage in trying to solve the problem or trying\u00a0\u00a0 to deal with the problem because i don’t really\u00a0 see many opportunities for things to work out well\u00a0\u00a001:48:39<\/a>and that leads to the third component of negative\u00a0 problem orientation is that sometimes people can\u00a0\u00a0 get so good at avoiding problems that they fail\u00a0 to recognize when a problem’s actually there\u00a0\u00a0 they get so good at being avoidant to problems\u00a0 that they don’t recognize that a problem exists\u00a0\u00a001:49:00<\/a>until it’s too late until it becomes a crisis\u00a0 like i talked about before so if i’m not even\u00a0\u00a0 aware or if i’m not even recognizing that a\u00a0 problem’s there i’m not going to be able to engage\u00a0\u00a0 in trying to solve the problem so i have these\u00a0 three components of negative problem orientation\u00a0\u00a001:49:21<\/a>i see problems as abnormal that there’s something\u00a0 wrong with me for having problems i focus entirely\u00a0\u00a0 on the potential threat or danger associated with\u00a0 the problem and i get so good at avoiding problems\u00a0\u00a0 that i fail to even recognize when problems\u00a0 exist if i have those three things going on\u00a0\u00a001:49:45<\/a>i’m not going to be particularly good at actually\u00a0 engaging or doing anything with regards to problem\u00a0\u00a0 solving so the question becomes okay well what\u00a0 do i do with this if i if i recognize that i’m\u00a0\u00a0 i’m i have this negative problem orientation\u00a0 i don’t deal well with problems what do i do\u00a0\u00a001:50:06<\/a>so let’s talk about how you challenge each of\u00a0 these components of negative problem orientation\u00a0\u00a0 so if you find that you tend to view problems\u00a0 as abnormal or is there something wrong with me\u00a0\u00a0 for that i have problems or problems should\u00a0 be solved quickly and easily first thing i\u00a0\u00a001:50:28<\/a>typically ask my clients is well do you know\u00a0 anyone who doesn’t have problems or is the\u00a0\u00a0 presence of problems indicative\u00a0 of there’s something being wrong\u00a0\u00a0 or is it the case that just everybody has problems\u00a0 and that there’s nothing really wrong with\u00a0\u00a001:50:47<\/a>the fact that you actually have problems because\u00a0 having problems is just a natural state of being\u00a0\u00a0 everybody has problems so it’s really about\u00a0 normalizing the occurrence of problems\u00a0\u00a0 beautiful people in hollywood have problems\u00a0 people who are down and out have problems\u00a0\u00a001:51:07<\/a>rich or rich and powerful politicians\u00a0 have problems everybody’s got problems\u00a0\u00a0 so the fact that you have a problem or the fact\u00a0 that you have problems doesn’t necessarily mean\u00a0\u00a0 that there’s something wrong with you it\u00a0 just means that you’re like everybody else\u00a0\u00a001:51:24<\/a>we all have problems and no one ever said that\u00a0 problems should be solved quickly and easily\u00a0\u00a0 i sort of think of it as kind of like the the\u00a0 sitcom approach to viewing problems where people\u00a0\u00a0 hold this attitude that uh problems should be\u00a0 resolved just like they are on tv sitcoms where\u00a0\u00a001:51:45<\/a>a problem arises in the first five minutes of\u00a0 the show there’s then 20 minutes of zany hijinx\u00a0\u00a0 and then everything gets wrapped up nicely in the\u00a0 last five minutes problem solved everyone goes on\u00a0\u00a0 with their life while that works really well\u00a0 in tv sitcoms no one ever said that real world\u00a0\u00a001:52:06<\/a>or real life problems are actually like that\u00a0 so if you’re having problems that you find are\u00a0\u00a0 challenging or difficult to overcome well welcome\u00a0 to the club everybody has those types of problems\u00a0\u00a0 and no one ever said that problems should be\u00a0 solved quickly or easily so really challenging\u00a0\u00a001:52:24<\/a>this component of negative problem orientation\u00a0 is really about normalizing the occurrence of\u00a0\u00a0 problems and normalizing the fact that some\u00a0 problems are just really difficult to address the second component of negative problem\u00a0 orientation this tendency to focus on the threat\u00a0\u00a001:52:43<\/a>component of the problem well if you think back\u00a0\u00a0 if you think about our our continuum and i’m\u00a0 stuck in the paralysis zone where all i’m\u00a0\u00a0 thinking about is all of the potential threat\u00a0 or danger that is associated with this problem\u00a0\u00a001:52:58<\/a>all of the things that could go wrong with this\u00a0 problem well you know part of this has to do with\u00a0\u00a0 intolerance of uncertainty and we talked about\u00a0 that in a prior video intolerance of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 goes very well and hand in hand with this fear\u00a0 of addressing problems or this viewing problems\u00a0\u00a001:53:20<\/a>as threats because problems at their core by\u00a0 definition are things that we’re uncertain about\u00a0\u00a0 the solution to the problem if we knew exactly\u00a0 what we needed to do to solve a particular problem\u00a0\u00a0 then it wouldn’t be a problem it would just\u00a0 be a series of steps that i need to engage in\u00a0\u00a001:53:39<\/a>what makes it a problem is the uncertainty and\u00a0 the unknown of what it is that i need to do to\u00a0\u00a0 solve this problem or how i solve this problem\u00a0 and so this intolerance of uncertainty can get\u00a0\u00a0 a person to really focus on all of the the\u00a0 potential threat or danger associated with\u00a0\u00a001:53:58<\/a>potentially trying to address this problem\u00a0 so the idea here is to try and reframe\u00a0\u00a0 the problem as an opportunity and try and get\u00a0 it out of this paralysis zone where all you’re\u00a0\u00a0 focusing on is the potential threat so it’s just\u00a0 a reframe uh thinking about the problem in a bit\u00a0\u00a001:54:21<\/a>of a different way you don’t have to see the\u00a0 problem as entirely good or it’s going to be\u00a0\u00a0 really wonderful to try and solve this problem but\u00a0 you just need to get out of this paralysis zone\u00a0\u00a0 so you just need to reframe or shift the problem\u00a0 or shift your perception of the problem just\u00a0\u00a001:54:38<\/a>a little bit to get out of that paralysis zone\u00a0 so that you can see a little bit of opportunity\u00a0\u00a0 and with that little bit of opportunity now\u00a0 you might be more motivated to actually engage\u00a0\u00a0 in this problem and solving the problem\u00a0 so so how exactly do you do this well\u00a0\u00a001:54:56<\/a>let’s think about an example suppose i have a\u00a0 job interview coming up and one of my things is\u00a0\u00a0 that i’m terrible at job interviews um i always\u00a0 get really nervous and anxious hands get sweaty\u00a0\u00a0 and uh and i just my voice tends to tends to quake\u00a0 and i tend to ramble and all this sort of thing\u00a0\u00a001:55:16<\/a>and i’m really concerned about this job interview\u00a0 and i see it as a real problem of how i’m going to\u00a0\u00a0 go about dealing with this job interview so\u00a0 one way of reframing this as an opportunity\u00a0\u00a0 is to look at it and say okay yeah i’m i haven’t\u00a0 had really good experiences at job interviews\u00a0\u00a001:55:37<\/a>in the past but the opportunity in this is\u00a0 for me to practice the skill of interviewing\u00a0\u00a0 for a job so even if i don’t get this job the\u00a0 opportunity here is that i get some practice\u00a0\u00a0 engaging in a job interview and in doing so i’m\u00a0 going to potentially get better so that for my\u00a0\u00a001:55:58<\/a>next job interview i’ll have some experiences\u00a0 that i can learn from and that will help me\u00a0\u00a0 in the next job interview so it’s again it’s\u00a0 not sort of making it entirely pollyanna\u00a0\u00a0 this job interview is going to turn out great i\u00a0 really love job interviews that’s not realistic\u00a0\u00a001:56:16<\/a>thinking but it’s more about just reframing it\u00a0 a little bit to get out of that paralysis zone\u00a0\u00a0 and to look for even just a little bit of\u00a0 opportunity with this problem um if you’re ever\u00a0\u00a0 struggling to find an opportunity and a problem a\u00a0 good default is always this is an opportunity for\u00a0\u00a001:56:38<\/a>me to tolerate uncertainty like i said problems by\u00a0 definition are uncertain and so if you’re looking\u00a0\u00a0 for an opportunity the opportunity is this gives\u00a0 me a chance to work on my tolerating uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 which if you’ve seen previous videos you know\u00a0 that’s a key to cutting off the murray fuel supply\u00a0\u00a001:56:59<\/a>so to help with this sort of challenging\u00a0 or reframing problems as opportunities\u00a0\u00a0 i have a worksheet that i’ll link to in the\u00a0 description below you can download the worksheet\u00a0\u00a0 and it sort of walks you through how to take a a\u00a0 type one worry or worry about an actual problem\u00a0\u00a001:57:18<\/a>and then to reframe it as an opportunity or a\u00a0 challenge so the third component of this negative\u00a0\u00a0 problem orientation this tendency not to recognize\u00a0 or not to be aware of problems until it’s too late\u00a0\u00a0 so there’s a couple ways of addressing this the\u00a0 first is these problems or problems that a person\u00a0\u00a001:57:44<\/a>doesn’t deal with very well they tend not to\u00a0 be one and done types of problems these are\u00a0\u00a0 problems that tend to come up again and again\u00a0 and again they tend to recur for a person\u00a0\u00a0 so one way of becoming better at recognizing\u00a0 problems early on is to actually keep a list of\u00a0\u00a001:58:05<\/a>what are problems that tend to recur\u00a0 for me again and again and again\u00a0\u00a0 because by keeping this list what it does is\u00a0 it it keeps your mind or keeps you alert to\u00a0\u00a0 potential problems that may come up that you\u00a0 wouldn’t necessarily recognize unless you were\u00a0\u00a001:58:22<\/a>looking for them so for example um one of my\u00a0 recurring problems is that i’m always terrible\u00a0\u00a0 at um at school projects that involve a working\u00a0 in groups and every time that’s happened to me\u00a0\u00a0 in the past it’s been a real mess where uh i have\u00a0 either difficulty trying to take control of the\u00a0\u00a001:58:43<\/a>situation or i just become incredibly passive\u00a0 in this situation and it doesn’t work out very\u00a0\u00a0 well so that’s something that i can keep track of\u00a0 that’s a recurring problem that comes up again and\u00a0\u00a0 again for me so i just have it on this on my list\u00a0 of recurring problems just as a way of keeping it\u00a0\u00a001:59:01<\/a>in the forefront of my mind another way of being\u00a0 more aware or recognizing problems earlier on\u00a0\u00a0 is to use your emotion as a bit of a red flag a\u00a0 bit of a cue to stop and to look around and to\u00a0\u00a0 ask yourself is there a problem here that i’m not\u00a0 addressing so you notice yourself feeling really\u00a0\u00a001:59:23<\/a>anxious in a situation that’s a moment to stop and\u00a0 say okay i’m feeling really anxious what’s going\u00a0\u00a0 on here is there a problem that i’m not dealing\u00a0 with is there a problem that i’m not addressing\u00a0\u00a0 i had this uh a good example of this with a client\u00a0 a few years ago and this client found that he was\u00a0\u00a001:59:43<\/a>just really really anxious whenever he was at work\u00a0 and so we got to this part of the worry management\u00a0\u00a0 program where we talked about negative problem\u00a0 orientation and he used his anxiety at work as a\u00a0\u00a0 cue and he stopped and asked himself one day okay\u00a0 what’s going on here why am i always so anxious\u00a0\u00a002:00:03<\/a>at work and as obvious as this may\u00a0 sound as simple as this may sound\u00a0\u00a0 what he realized by sort of stopping and\u00a0 asking himself that question was that\u00a0\u00a0 he hated his job he hated everything about\u00a0 it it was going nowhere it wasn’t really that\u00a0\u00a002:00:21<\/a>reinforcing for him he didn’t like the people that\u00a0 he was working with and so once he was able to\u00a0\u00a0 recognize and identify that the problem was that\u00a0 he hated his job and that’s why he was so anxious\u00a0\u00a0 whenever he was at work he was then able to engage\u00a0 in some problem solving so what he did is he\u00a0\u00a002:00:39<\/a>worked on his resume and he submitted his resume\u00a0 applied for a bunch of jobs and he got a new job\u00a0\u00a0 and lo and behold he was no longer anxious\u00a0 at work so it was using his anxiety at work\u00a0\u00a0 as that red flag of that that caused him to stop\u00a0 and ask is there something that’s going on here\u00a0\u00a002:01:01<\/a>that’s making me anxious or that’s that i’m\u00a0 worrying about is there a problem here that\u00a0\u00a0 i’m not dealing with and once he did he was then\u00a0 able to take some steps and deal with the problem\u00a0\u00a0 so those are the manifestations of this negative\u00a0 problem orientation and those are some tips\u00a0\u00a002:01:22<\/a>to try and improve your orientation towards\u00a0 problems like i said this is this is the garage\u00a0\u00a0 door and until you deal with negative problem\u00a0 orientation as long as you tend to view problems\u00a0\u00a0 in a really negative way as threats and that you\u00a0 avoid dealing with you’re not going to be able\u00a0\u00a002:01:42<\/a>to deal with the problems and you’re probably\u00a0 going to continue worrying about the problems\u00a0\u00a0 excessively by addressing this negative problem\u00a0 orientation by normalizing the occurrence of\u00a0\u00a0 problems by reframing problems as opportunity\u00a0 instead of threat and by recognizing problems\u00a0\u00a002:02:00<\/a>earlier on what you’re doing is you’re raising\u00a0 that garage door and you’re allowing yourself to\u00a0\u00a0 use your problem solving skills that you already\u00a0 have and to use them in a really effective way so what we’re going to be talking about is six\u00a0 steps in problem solving and these six steps\u00a0\u00a002:02:26<\/a>like i said it’s kind of like a recipe and if you\u00a0 follow the recipe what you’ll find is that you’re\u00a0\u00a0 a lot more effective or it gives you a framework\u00a0 to be more effective in terms of solving problems\u00a0\u00a0 so the very first step in problem solving this\u00a0 one you probably already know and probably pretty\u00a0\u00a002:02:47<\/a>obvious to you is that you need to define the\u00a0 problem and the way i like to think about defining\u00a0\u00a0 the problem is to sort of ask yourself three\u00a0 questions what is the situation that currently is\u00a0\u00a0 what would i like the situation to be and what\u00a0 is the barrier or the obstacle between what is\u00a0\u00a002:03:09<\/a>and what should be because then you can\u00a0 reframe the problem is a question about\u00a0\u00a0 how you address or remove the barrier to\u00a0 get the situation to what you want it to be\u00a0\u00a0 so the first step is defining what your problem\u00a0 is so let’s use an example as we go along here\u00a0\u00a002:03:31<\/a>suppose my problem is that i’m feeling like\u00a0 i’m overweight that i need to lose some weight\u00a0\u00a0 and the barrier i’ve discovered is that i\u00a0 really just don’t have a very healthy lifestyle\u00a0\u00a0 my lifestyle is one that it doesn’t allow me to uh\u00a0 be particularly healthy with regards to diet with\u00a0\u00a002:03:50<\/a>regards to exercise and so the problem is that my\u00a0 lifestyle is preventing me from being more healthy\u00a0\u00a0 and helping me lose weight so step one define the\u00a0 problem step two comes directly from step one and\u00a0\u00a0 it’s defining what the goal is so i’ve defined the\u00a0 problem but what is it that i want what is my goal\u00a0\u00a002:04:16<\/a>and to try to be as kind of specific and clear and\u00a0 behavioral as possible with regards to the goal so\u00a0\u00a0 in my example the goal may be that i\u00a0 want to lose 15 pounds so that’s my goal\u00a0\u00a0 so that leads us to the third step which is what\u00a0 i call the brainstorming step coming up with\u00a0\u00a002:04:41<\/a>alternative possible solutions to address\u00a0 this problem now i find that with a lot of\u00a0\u00a0 the clients i work with this is the part of the\u00a0 problem solving that they tend to rush through\u00a0\u00a0 the idea with brainstorming is you want to try and\u00a0 generate possible solutions to help you address\u00a0\u00a002:05:04<\/a>this problem and those possible solutions need\u00a0 to meet sort of three principles for effective\u00a0\u00a0 or good brainstorming the first principle\u00a0 is what i call the quantity principle\u00a0\u00a0 and what that means is you want to generate a\u00a0 lot of possible solutions what people often do\u00a0\u00a002:05:25<\/a>when they’re engaging in problem solving\u00a0 they just come up with the first one or\u00a0\u00a0 two uh ideas or solutions that come to mind\u00a0 and that’s what they go with brainstorming\u00a0\u00a0 takes it beyond just those one or two possible\u00a0 solutions and gets you to think about lots of\u00a0\u00a002:05:43<\/a>different possible solutions so when you’re\u00a0 thinking about brainstorming i like to tell people\u00a0\u00a0 rough rule of thumb 10 to 15 possible solutions\u00a0 to this problem so that’s the quantity principle\u00a0\u00a0 the second principle of effective brainstorming\u00a0 is the um the diversity or different types of\u00a0\u00a002:06:08<\/a>possible solutions so if for example i’m going\u00a0 through my brainstorming and i’m coming up with\u00a0\u00a0 possible solutions like uh my my possible solution\u00a0 is to go to the gym and run on the treadmill\u00a0\u00a0 another possible solution is to go to the gym and\u00a0 ride the exercise bike another possible solution\u00a0\u00a002:06:32<\/a>is to go to the gym and go on the elliptical\u00a0 trainer now these are all different solutions\u00a0\u00a0 but they’re all kind of the same solution so you\u00a0 want uh some diversity in the possible solutions\u00a0\u00a0 that you’re coming up with so it’s not just the\u00a0 same thing over and over again you want some\u00a0\u00a002:06:52<\/a>uh variety in the possible solutions you’re\u00a0 coming up with so one of my possible solutions\u00a0\u00a0 could be going to the gym and running on the\u00a0 treadmill or it could be eating more salad or\u00a0\u00a0 hiring a personal trainer or taking up hiking\u00a0 or going on a low carb diet or packing my own\u00a0\u00a002:07:13<\/a>lunch for lunch rather than getting something at a\u00a0 restaurant so i’m coming up with lots of different\u00a0\u00a0 possible solutions to help solve the problem\u00a0 or that could potentially solve the problem\u00a0\u00a0 the third principle of brainstorming is\u00a0 one that i find that people really struggle\u00a0\u00a002:07:32<\/a>with and this principle refers to deferring\u00a0 judgment in other words when you’re brainstorming\u00a0\u00a0 you’re not actually judging the possible solutions\u00a0 that you’re coming up with you’re just coming\u00a0\u00a0 up with the solutions it’s not about evaluating\u00a0 whether or not the solutions will work the idea is\u00a0\u00a002:07:53<\/a>you want to be as creative as possible with your\u00a0 solutions you want to get out of the typical box\u00a0\u00a0 that you usually think of when it comes to solving\u00a0 problems and think a little bit outside of that\u00a0\u00a0 box so when you’re doing the brainstorming some of\u00a0 the solutions you come up with should be a bit out\u00a0\u00a002:08:13<\/a>there they should be a bit ridiculous and bizarre\u00a0 because what that means is that you’re allowing\u00a0\u00a0 yourself to think outside how you typically think\u00a0 i once had this experience with a client this was\u00a0\u00a0 a mom of two kids she loved her kids dearly but\u00a0 she just wasn’t getting enough time away from\u00a0\u00a002:08:33<\/a>the kids where she could do things to recharge her\u00a0 batteries and so she tried all of the things like\u00a0\u00a0 babysitting swaps with other moms or having\u00a0 her parents look after the kids but she just\u00a0\u00a0 wasn’t getting a big enough chunk of time away\u00a0 from her kids and so one of the things that she\u00a0\u00a002:08:50<\/a>came up with as she was doing the brainstorming\u00a0 was putting her kids on a rocket and sending\u00a0\u00a0 them to the moon and so she thought well that’s\u00a0 kind of a ridiculous idea i could never do that\u00a0\u00a0 but it got her thinking okay well i can’t send\u00a0 my kids to the moon but i can send them to summer\u00a0\u00a002:09:09<\/a>camp and so she got the idea to register them for\u00a0 a summer camp and they went away to a sleepover\u00a0\u00a0 camp she had a week away from them really\u00a0 recharged her batteries and she felt really great\u00a0\u00a0 because it had helped solve the problem of\u00a0 having some time away from her kids where\u00a0\u00a002:09:27<\/a>she could really charge her batteries and so she\u00a0 wouldn’t have got there if she hadn’t allowed her\u00a0\u00a0 mind to go into kind of really out there possible\u00a0 solutions like sending the kids to the moon so\u00a0\u00a0 you want to defer your judgment allow yourself to\u00a0 be creative allow yourself to be a bit out there\u00a0\u00a002:09:46<\/a>with the possible solutions it’s not about judging\u00a0 the solutions at this point so after brainstorming\u00a0\u00a0 then you want to evaluate the possible solutions\u00a0 this is where you determine whether or not\u00a0\u00a0 those solutions could potentially work so in order\u00a0 to evaluate the solutions i like to get people to\u00a0\u00a002:10:09<\/a>think of a few questions so first of all will\u00a0 this possible solution likely solve my problem\u00a0\u00a0 so for example if one of the solutions i came\u00a0 up with while i was doing my brainstorming\u00a0\u00a0 to help me lose weight is to to\u00a0 go and and do an all donut diet\u00a0\u00a002:10:32<\/a>well it’s kind of an out there solution but\u00a0 it’s probably not going to solve my problem\u00a0\u00a0 it’s probably not going to help me lose that 15\u00a0 pounds so right there i can dismiss that solution\u00a0\u00a0 as one that’s probably not going to be all that\u00a0 effective another question i want to ask is how\u00a0\u00a002:10:51<\/a>much time and effort is going to be involved in\u00a0 this solution so if i come up with a solution of\u00a0\u00a0 going to the gym seven days a week and working\u00a0 out eight hours a day well chances are that’s\u00a0\u00a0 gonna help me get into really good shape but it’s\u00a0 not really all that realistic and it’s probably\u00a0\u00a002:11:10<\/a>way more time and way more effort than i’m\u00a0 willing to do so i’m unlikely to do that solution\u00a0\u00a0 i’m going to want to think about what will be the\u00a0 impact on myself how will i feel about myself for\u00a0\u00a0 coming up with the solution or implementing the\u00a0 solution and what will be the impact on other\u00a0\u00a002:11:30<\/a>people if i implement this solution so for example\u00a0 if one of the potential solutions i came up with\u00a0\u00a0 is to steal my best friend’s girlfriend who\u00a0 happens to be a personal trainer so i can get\u00a0\u00a0 free personal training lessons well that might\u00a0 help me get into better shape because she’ll\u00a0\u00a002:11:49<\/a>give me free personal training lessons but i’m\u00a0 probably not going to feel very good about myself\u00a0\u00a0 for having done that and my friend probably isn’t\u00a0 going to be too pleased with me for having done\u00a0\u00a0 that either so that’s not a very good solution\u00a0 either so you you have this list of possible\u00a0\u00a002:12:10<\/a>solutions that you’ve brainstormed so the idea\u00a0 is to try and evaluate these solutions based on\u00a0\u00a0 these questions and to try to come up with the\u00a0 best possible solution not the perfect solution\u00a0\u00a0 there likely will be no perfect solution and\u00a0 so it’s at this stage where you have to really\u00a0\u00a002:12:32<\/a>tolerate some uncertainty because you’re not\u00a0 going to know exactly what the best solution is\u00a0\u00a0 you’re just going to have to pick one\u00a0 that seems like it’s the best solution\u00a0\u00a0 and go with it tolerating the uncertainty\u00a0 of that so once you’ve decided on a solution\u00a0\u00a002:12:53<\/a>the fifth step is to actually come up\u00a0 with a plan and implement the solution so\u00a0\u00a0 if i come up with uh if one of my solutions\u00a0 is to eat more salad i need to come up\u00a0\u00a0 with a plan for how i’m going to actually\u00a0 implement solution of eating more salads so\u00a0\u00a002:13:13<\/a>i’m going to make sure to add salad to my grocery\u00a0 list i’m going to make an effort to buy the salad\u00a0\u00a0 the salad mix so salad dressing all of the\u00a0 fixings for the salad and i may pick a day\u00a0\u00a0 of the week um maybe tuesday or thursday will\u00a0 be my salad days and so i’ll make a plan to\u00a0\u00a002:13:35<\/a>implement uh eating more salad on those days so i\u00a0 come up with a plan and then i implement the plan and then the final step step six is one that\u00a0 people often don’t think about but it’s actually\u00a0\u00a0 pretty critical in terms of problem solving\u00a0 and step six is to verify whether or not the\u00a0\u00a002:14:00<\/a>solution has worked so to have sort of a set date\u00a0 or set time that you’re going to look back and say\u00a0\u00a0 okay i’ve been doing the solution i’ve been\u00a0 implementing my plan has it helped so maybe i\u00a0\u00a0 give myself a month of eating salad every tuesday\u00a0 and thursday and so what i do is i weigh myself at\u00a0\u00a002:14:22<\/a>the end of the month and see whether or not it’s\u00a0 worked if it has worked that’s great i can reward\u00a0\u00a0 myself give myself a pat on the back for coming\u00a0 up with the solution and implementing it and\u00a0\u00a0 uh and it working so i can feel good about myself\u00a0 for having taken some steps to solve this problem\u00a0\u00a002:14:44<\/a>but if it hasn’t worked if i in the solution\u00a0 verification stage i realize i actually haven’t\u00a0\u00a0 lost any weight i’ve actually gained a few\u00a0 pounds then this is an opportunity for me to\u00a0\u00a0 look back on my problem-solving approach and to\u00a0 ask myself where might things have gone wrong\u00a0\u00a002:15:03<\/a>well maybe i didn’t define the problem correctly\u00a0 um maybe when i look back on my brainstorming i\u00a0\u00a0 only came up with one or two solutions i didn’t\u00a0 actually do the brainstorming that well maybe when\u00a0\u00a0 it comes to evaluating the possible solutions\u00a0 i look back on it and realize you know what\u00a0\u00a002:15:24<\/a>the one that i picked seemed like it was going to\u00a0 work but it didn’t maybe i should try one of the\u00a0\u00a0 other possible solutions that i came up with or i\u00a0 could look at it and say hey you know what maybe\u00a0\u00a0 the solution that i picked would have worked if\u00a0 i’d actually done it and so looking back on it\u00a0\u00a002:15:42<\/a>i realized i didn’t actually do a very good job\u00a0 of implementing the solution that i came up with\u00a0\u00a0 so the idea of the solution verification step\u00a0 is to help you to look back and figure out\u00a0\u00a0 where it went wrong if it did go wrong and\u00a0 then to problem solve or then to try different\u00a0\u00a002:16:02<\/a>different approaches or different tweaks to your\u00a0 solution to try to get at a solution that works\u00a0\u00a0 so the process is self-correcting if you allow it\u00a0 to be self-correcting and if you allow yourself\u00a0\u00a0 the opportunity to reflect on whether or not it’s\u00a0 working so those are six steps to a recipe of six\u00a0\u00a002:16:25<\/a>steps to help you solve problems more efficiently\u00a0 so you might be wondering okay well that’s all\u00a0\u00a0 great and interesting and all but how does that\u00a0 help me worry less well the idea is with these\u00a0\u00a0 type 1 worries if you’re able to more effectively\u00a0 solve the problem that you’re worrying about\u00a0\u00a002:16:47<\/a>then you’re not going to be\u00a0 worrying about it anymore\u00a0\u00a0 understanding these problem-solving steps can\u00a0 also help you recognize what problem-solving is\u00a0\u00a0 versus what it isn’t right so when we talked about\u00a0 worry beliefs one of the common worry beliefs\u00a0\u00a002:17:06<\/a>is that worry helps me solve problems well by\u00a0 understanding what problem solving looks like\u00a0\u00a0 defining the problem defining a goal brainstorming\u00a0 evaluating possible solutions implementing a\u00a0\u00a0 plan and then verifying whether or not the plan\u00a0 worked that’s much different than worrying about\u00a0\u00a002:17:26<\/a>negative things happening from this problem\u00a0 so understanding these steps to problem\u00a0\u00a0 solving also helps you understand a little bit\u00a0 better what problem solving looks like what\u00a0\u00a0 effective active problem solving looks\u00a0 like versus worrying about a problem\u00a0\u00a002:17:44<\/a>now obviously these problem-solving steps that\u00a0 i’m talking about aren’t going to be applicable\u00a0\u00a0 to every problem now there are some problems that\u00a0 are just pretty simple to solve right so if i take\u00a0\u00a0 my lunch to work every day and one day i forgot\u00a0 my lunch at home well i’m not necessarily going\u00a0\u00a002:18:05<\/a>to have to go through these six steps of problem\u00a0 solving to figure out what it is that i need to do\u00a0\u00a0 i’ll just go down to the food court and buy\u00a0 myself lunch but these problem-solving steps\u00a0\u00a0 can be really helpful for some of those more\u00a0 difficult problems some of those problems\u00a0\u00a002:18:24<\/a>that you find that you’re struggling with or\u00a0 that you’ve been struggling with for a while\u00a0\u00a0 and so if you can break down the problems and use\u00a0 these problem solving this problem-solving recipe\u00a0\u00a0 it might be able to help you get to a more\u00a0 effective solution to the problem and to\u00a0\u00a002:18:43<\/a>assist with that i’m going to link to a problem\u00a0 solving worksheet down in the description below\u00a0\u00a0 so you can download that worksheet and it\u00a0 can help you walk through these six steps\u00a0\u00a0 of problem solving just as a way of of writing\u00a0 down how you’re going to approach the problem02:19:04<\/a>type 2 worries are worries about future or\u00a0 potential problems problems that haven’t happened\u00a0\u00a0 problems that may never happen but still a person\u00a0 worries about them now the thing about these type\u00a0\u00a0 2 worries is that they tend to tap into the core\u00a0 fears that a person often has so these type 2\u00a0\u00a002:19:29<\/a>worries tend to be about the most scary things\u00a0 that we fear or that we dread happening worries\u00a0\u00a0 about failure failure academically failure\u00a0 in life more generally worries about losing\u00a0\u00a0 a job or a relationship breakup worries about\u00a0 you or someone you care about becoming very sick\u00a0\u00a002:19:54<\/a>or a family member dying in a motor vehicle\u00a0 accident these types of things so these type two\u00a0\u00a0 worries tend to be quite scary and quite upsetting\u00a0 when they come up so if you think about it if uh\u00a0\u00a0 if you catch yourself worrying about one of\u00a0 these really sort of scary core fears what’s\u00a0\u00a002:20:18<\/a>the most natural thing the most natural reaction\u00a0 to do with those worries well for a lot of people\u00a0\u00a0 who worry a lot and for a lot of people who don’t\u00a0 worry a lot the most natural thing when these\u00a0\u00a0 unpleasant worries these unpleasant thoughts about\u00a0 future negative events come up the most natural\u00a0\u00a002:20:39<\/a>thing to do is to try and push those thoughts\u00a0 out of your mind try not to think about them\u00a0\u00a0 and it makes sense if if these thoughts\u00a0 bring up you know sort of images or or\u00a0\u00a0 thoughts about things that are really distressing\u00a0 or really upsetting to think about it’s natural\u00a0\u00a002:20:57<\/a>to just want to avoid thinking about that in\u00a0 general it’s something we call cognitive avoidance\u00a0\u00a0 so pushing these thoughts suppressing these\u00a0 thoughts from my mind so that i don’t have to\u00a0\u00a0 think about the thing that’s so upsetting\u00a0 that obviously i don’t want to think about02:21:19<\/a>now this cognitive avoidance may make sense\u00a0\u00a0 on the surface and it’s kind of the most\u00a0 natural response to these upsetting thoughts\u00a0\u00a0 but one experiment one little exercise i do with\u00a0 my clients to sort of explain how this cognitive\u00a0\u00a002:21:37<\/a>avoidance works is to get them to for one minute\u00a0 to think about anything they want to think about\u00a0\u00a0 anything at all but in that one minute i get\u00a0 them to try really hard not to think about\u00a0\u00a0 a pink elephant so they can think about anything\u00a0 they want to think about just not a pink elephant\u00a0\u00a002:22:03<\/a>and so i start a timer and i get them to\u00a0 think about whatever they want just not the\u00a0\u00a0 pink elephant but if they happen to think\u00a0 about a pink elephant i ask them to make a\u00a0\u00a0 a mark on a piece of paper each time the thought\u00a0 or image of a pink elephant comes to mind\u00a0\u00a002:22:20<\/a>and usually what happens is uh in that one\u00a0 minute i see them really start to struggle\u00a0\u00a0 either they start to kind of laugh or they\u00a0 start to roll their eyes or they but they’re\u00a0\u00a0 making marks on that sheet of paper and what\u00a0 ends up happening at the end of that minute is\u00a0\u00a002:22:38<\/a>they’ve thought about the pink elephant a lot\u00a0 and so i often ask them a few follow-up questions\u00a0\u00a0 like uh how many times in the past week\u00a0 have you thought about a pink elephant and\u00a0\u00a0 usually the answer to this question is well i\u00a0 haven’t thought about a pink elephant at all and\u00a0\u00a002:23:00<\/a>then i asked them okay well in the past week how\u00a0 much effort did you put into trying not to think\u00a0\u00a0 about a pink elephant they tell me well i wasn’t\u00a0 trying not to think about a pink elephant at all\u00a0\u00a0 and so i point out well isn’t it interesting\u00a0 that in one week of putting no effort into\u00a0\u00a002:23:21<\/a>trying not to think about a pink elephant\u00a0 you didn’t think about a pink elephant at all\u00a0\u00a0 but in one minute of trying not\u00a0 to think about a pink elephant\u00a0\u00a0 you thought about a pink elephant multiple\u00a0 multiple times we call this the paradox of thought\u00a0\u00a002:23:40<\/a>suppression the more you try not to think about\u00a0 something the more you end up thinking about it\u00a0\u00a0 so relating this to type 2 worries if i’m\u00a0 avoiding thinking about these type 2 worries\u00a0\u00a0 because they’re really upsetting to think about\u00a0 and i don’t want to think about them and so\u00a0\u00a002:24:03<\/a>if i’m trying to deal with these type 2\u00a0 worries by pushing the worries and by pushing\u00a0\u00a0 the thoughts out of my mind it’s essentially\u00a0 me doing a pink elephant with these worries\u00a0\u00a0 i’m trying not to think about it and by trying\u00a0 not to think about it all that really does is it\u00a0\u00a002:24:21<\/a>causes the worry to come up over and over and over\u00a0 and over again and each time it comes up i try and\u00a0\u00a0 push it out of my mind which means it’s just going\u00a0 to come up again and then i’m going to push it out\u00a0\u00a0 of my mind and it’s going to come up again so the\u00a0 reason why these type 2 worries keep coming up\u00a0\u00a002:24:42<\/a>is often because a person’s trying not to think\u00a0 about it and the harder you try not to think about\u00a0\u00a0 it the more the worry is going to keep coming up\u00a0 so it’s this uh really kind of self-destructive\u00a0\u00a0 uh self-fueling cycle um i liken it to trying to\u00a0 hold a beach ball underwater the more pressure\u00a0\u00a002:25:06<\/a>you put to hold that beach ball underwater\u00a0 the more pressure there is for the beach ball\u00a0\u00a0 to keep popping up and then you grab it and you\u00a0 push it back down again it pops up and you grab it\u00a0\u00a0 and you push it back down again but it just keeps\u00a0 coming up and so while this cognitive avoidance\u00a0\u00a002:25:23<\/a>on the surface seems like the most natural\u00a0 thing to do when these type 2 worries come up\u00a0\u00a0 it’s actually one of the factors\u00a0 that’s maintaining the type 2 worries\u00a0\u00a0 so that leaves us with the question okay if trying\u00a0 not to think about the type two worries is what’s\u00a0\u00a002:25:44<\/a>causing the type two worries to come up over\u00a0 and over and over again what can i do about it\u00a0\u00a0 well the answer to that question is\u00a0 something we call cognitive exposure\u00a0\u00a0 and i’ll be talking about that in the next video02:26:04<\/a>if trying not to think about the type 2 worry\u00a0 is what’s causing the worry to come up over and\u00a0\u00a0 over and over again the solution the tip or the\u00a0 tool for managing these types of worries may seem\u00a0\u00a0 very counter-intuitive and the idea is rather than\u00a0 trying not to think about the worry rather it’s to\u00a0\u00a002:26:31<\/a>think about the worry over and over and over and\u00a0 over and over again until you essentially drain\u00a0\u00a0 the emotion out of the worry thought so again\u00a0 remember that worries are they’re just thoughts\u00a0\u00a0 they’re predictions about the future and with\u00a0 these type two worries what can happen is you have\u00a0\u00a002:26:55<\/a>this anxiety and this emotion connected with the\u00a0 worry and the worry thought so every time the\u00a0\u00a0 worry thought comes up the anxiety comes up and\u00a0 if you feel really anxious every time this thought\u00a0\u00a0 comes up it makes sense to want to try and get the\u00a0 thought out of your mind because the anxiety is\u00a0\u00a002:27:13<\/a>really uncomfortable so the way around this is by\u00a0 thinking about the worry again and again and again\u00a0\u00a0 the the metaphor i like to use to explain\u00a0 this is to imagine that you’re watching tv and\u00a0\u00a0 one day there’s this weird satellite glitch that\u00a0 happens and whatever it is that you’re watching on\u00a0\u00a002:27:38<\/a>tv disappears and what ends up happening is this\u00a0 really grotesque horrible horror film comes on the\u00a0\u00a0 tv it’s really upsetting and it’s really gross and\u00a0 and distressing and so you just turn off the tv\u00a0\u00a0 but the next time you turn on your tv lo\u00a0 and behold the same thing happens the same\u00a0\u00a002:27:58<\/a>movie interrupts what you’re watching and it gets\u00a0 really distressing for you and you turn off the tv you do it again and it just keeps happening well\u00a0 imagine what would happen and how you’d feel\u00a0\u00a0 if you watched if you allowed yourself to\u00a0 watch that horror movie all the way from the\u00a0\u00a002:28:19<\/a>beginning to the end well you’d probably find it\u00a0 really distressing you’d probably find it really\u00a0\u00a0 uncomfortable and really unpleasant and you feel\u00a0 really distressed watching that movie but then you\u00a0\u00a0 force yourself to watch it a second time well the\u00a0 second time you watch it you may find it even more\u00a0\u00a002:28:39<\/a>distressing and even more upsetting because you\u00a0 kind of know what to expect and you kind of know\u00a0\u00a0 the horrors that are that are awaiting but then\u00a0 you force yourself to watch it a third time and\u00a0\u00a0 a fourth time and a fifth time and a sixth time\u00a0 by the hundredth time you’ve watched the horror\u00a0\u00a002:28:58<\/a>movie by the thousandth time you’ve watched\u00a0 the horror movie what do you think is going\u00a0\u00a0 to happen to your emotional reaction to it well\u00a0 you’re you’re probably going to be pretty bored\u00a0\u00a0 uh you’re probably going to be like oh yeah\u00a0 guy jim’s out of the shower with a big knife\u00a0\u00a002:29:15<\/a>big deal the movie hasn’t changed one bit what’s\u00a0 changed is your emotional reaction to the movie\u00a0\u00a0 essentially it’s drained any emotion out of the\u00a0 movie and so it’s no longer all that distressing\u00a0\u00a0 and so um you’re watching the same movie\u00a0 it’s the exact same movie that you saw\u00a0\u00a002:29:38<\/a>the first time you saw it when it was really\u00a0 upsetting for you but it’s no longer upsetting\u00a0\u00a0 it’s the same process with this idea of\u00a0 cognitive exposure you essentially want to\u00a0\u00a0 take these type 2 worries and think about them\u00a0 over and over and over again to their their\u00a0\u00a002:30:00<\/a>really horrible hand the most distressing parts\u00a0 of it that you don’t let yourself think about\u00a0\u00a0 with these type two worries what often happens\u00a0 with people is their their mind will go to a\u00a0\u00a0 certain point in the worry and they say okay you\u00a0 know what it’s too much i i can’t take anymore and\u00a0\u00a002:30:16<\/a>they they stop thinking about it and so it’s\u00a0 almost like one of those old-fashioned record\u00a0\u00a0 players and it just keeps skipping so it plays\u00a0 the same part of the song and just keeps skipping\u00a0\u00a0 over and over and over again so it’s not playing\u00a0 the song all the way through that’s what happens\u00a0\u00a002:30:33<\/a>with these type 2 worries a person doesn’t allow\u00a0 themselves to think about the type 2 worries\u00a0\u00a0 all the way through to the the horrible end\u00a0 that they imagine but by doing this and by\u00a0\u00a0 doing this repeatedly essentially what you’re\u00a0 doing is you’re giving the worries the air time\u00a0\u00a002:30:53<\/a>so it’s almost like these worries want their\u00a0 air time they want you to think about them\u00a0\u00a0 and so you give the worries their air time and\u00a0 you think about them in concentrated ways until\u00a0\u00a0 the emotion essentially drains from the worry\u00a0 and if the emotion drains from the worry it’s\u00a0\u00a002:31:11<\/a>not going to be so upsetting when it comes up\u00a0 and if it’s not so upsetting when it comes up\u00a0\u00a0 you’re probably not going to try and push the\u00a0 thoughts out of your mind so it’s a bit of a\u00a0\u00a0 strange concept to wrap your head around but\u00a0 it works and in fact this is the exact same\u00a0\u00a002:31:32<\/a>treatment approach that we use for people\u00a0 with post-traumatic stress disorder\u00a0\u00a0 the difference with between post-traumatic stress\u00a0 disorder and this is that in post-traumatic stress\u00a0\u00a0 disorder the traumatic event has happened to the\u00a0 person it’s happened to the person in their past\u00a0\u00a002:31:48<\/a>whereas in generalized anxiety disorder and\u00a0 excessive worry the traumatic event is something\u00a0\u00a0 that a person imagines happening in the future\u00a0 but it’s the same process to drain the emotion\u00a0\u00a0 out of the thought so how do you go about doing\u00a0 this cognitive exposure how do you how do you\u00a0\u00a002:32:09<\/a>do it well cognitive exposure is different than\u00a0 worrying about the worry with cognitive exposure\u00a0\u00a0 the idea is you sit down and you write\u00a0 out a script imagining your type 2 worry\u00a0\u00a0 in all of the graphic horrific upsetting detail\u00a0 that you can imagine all the way to the end to\u00a0\u00a002:32:34<\/a>those darkest parts that you don’t even allow\u00a0 your mind to go to that you don’t let yourself\u00a0\u00a0 go to and you take your mind there you write out\u00a0 this script detailing what you imagine happening\u00a0\u00a0 and i encourage person to write out the script\u00a0 in the first person present tense so like it’s\u00a0\u00a002:32:56<\/a>actually happening to them because what that can\u00a0 do is it it puts you in the worry scene it puts\u00a0\u00a0 you in that scenario and it allows you to sort of\u00a0 more closely imagine yourself in that situation\u00a0\u00a0 and so you write out the script it should\u00a0 be anywhere from like one to three or five\u00a0\u00a002:33:19<\/a>minutes long it doesn’t have to be any longer\u00a0 than that but you want to include as much\u00a0\u00a0 a detail as possible as much sensory\u00a0 detail as much thought detail as you can\u00a0\u00a0 so i’ll give you an example of a script um\u00a0 now this is a script for someone imagining\u00a0\u00a002:33:40<\/a>uh that they’re going to die of cancer so\u00a0 the script may go something like this um\u00a0\u00a0 i was diagnosed with or i was diagnosed with my\u00a0 cancer a few weeks ago and it is spread rapidly\u00a0\u00a0 through my body uh the cancer is my fault because\u00a0 i didn’t take care of myself i had a unhealthy\u00a0\u00a002:34:02<\/a>lifestyle i ate poorly um i spend too much time\u00a0 in the sun without sunscreen so it’s all my fault\u00a0\u00a0 that this is happening to me i’ve gone through\u00a0 a series of upsetting and painful procedures\u00a0\u00a0 the treatments have caused me to lose my hair\u00a0 i’ve lost weight i’m fatigued i’m exhausted all\u00a0\u00a002:34:29<\/a>the time i’m now coughing up blood and it makes\u00a0 me sick every time i see myself in the mirror\u00a0\u00a0 i know now that i’m on my deathbed i can feel\u00a0 my life draining from me this was all my fault\u00a0\u00a0 i did this to myself and now here i am in\u00a0 this hospital bed having just soiled myself\u00a0\u00a002:34:58<\/a>and i can smell how awful it smells and i feel\u00a0 exhausted and weak i can’t even call out for help\u00a0\u00a0 i’m in this darkened hospital room in this\u00a0 darkened ward and i see only shadows in the\u00a0\u00a0 background i know my death is coming soon and\u00a0 it’s going to be a bleak emptiness that i’m\u00a0\u00a002:35:22<\/a>going to face for eternity so now notice that\u00a0 that may not be something that you worry about\u00a0\u00a0 but that type of script it’s descriptive enough\u00a0 that it’s like this kick in the gut it it should\u00a0\u00a0 make you uncomfortable and so the idea is you\u00a0 write out this script about this really horrific\u00a0\u00a002:35:45<\/a>type 2 worry whatever your type 2 worry is\u00a0 whatever the the worry that you’re struggling with\u00a0\u00a0 is you write out a script as detailed as possible\u00a0 and once you have that script the idea is to take\u00a0\u00a0 30 45 minutes an hour a day and read that script\u00a0 over and over and over again so you read the\u00a0\u00a002:36:13<\/a>script all the way through and i encourage people\u00a0 to make a note of how upsetting or distressing it\u00a0\u00a0 was on a scale from zero to ten where zero is not\u00a0 distressing at all ten is uh extremely distressing\u00a0\u00a0 extremely upsetting so after every time you read\u00a0 the script you make a rating from zero to 10. then\u00a0\u00a002:36:36<\/a>immediately you read it again from 0 to 10 make\u00a0 a rating and again and again at least 10 or 15\u00a0\u00a0 times in that 30 to 45 minutes to an hour chunk\u00a0 of time that you’re setting aside to do this\u00a0\u00a0 you want to do this at a time when you’re not\u00a0 going to be distracted so turn off your cell phone\u00a0\u00a002:37:00<\/a>sort of get away so that people aren’t going to\u00a0 be distracting you now it’s key to understand this\u00a0\u00a0 is going to be very distressing it’s going to be\u00a0 very very difficult to do it’s going to make you\u00a0\u00a0 feel very uncomfortable and so if you’re feeling\u00a0 uncomfortable even at the thought of doing it\u00a0\u00a002:37:20<\/a>that’s normal this isn’t something that anyone\u00a0 should look forward to doing because the whole\u00a0\u00a0 idea is to bring up the emotion to bring up\u00a0 the distress and to learn to cope with it and\u00a0\u00a0 to let it just go away on its own like watching\u00a0 that horror movie over and over and over again\u00a0\u00a002:37:42<\/a>so you do these ratings and\u00a0 what you should find is that\u00a0\u00a0 uh within a session of doing this so from\u00a0 the beginning where you start with a rating\u00a0\u00a0 the first time you read it maybe a 9 out of 10 or\u00a0 a 10 out of 10. and then you read it over 15 times\u00a0\u00a002:38:01<\/a>what you should find is that at the end of that\u00a0 15th time of reading it your rating should be\u00a0\u00a0 lower right the first time you do it maybe your\u00a0 rating at the 15th time is a five or a six out of\u00a0\u00a0 ten and then you do it again the next day and\u00a0 the day after that and i encourage people to\u00a0\u00a002:38:20<\/a>do this for a week or two and what they find\u00a0 is that over the course of that week or two\u00a0\u00a0 the ratings both within each session tend to\u00a0 decline and between each session they tend to\u00a0\u00a0 decline so after a couple of weeks of doing this\u00a0 the distress at the you know 10th or you know 15th\u00a0\u00a002:38:44<\/a>day that you’ve done this those distress scores\u00a0 are a lot lower than they were in the first day\u00a0\u00a0 so this is like i said a very challenging exercise\u00a0 this isn’t something that you want to do with\u00a0\u00a0 every worry because it takes a lot of time and\u00a0 it’s quite distressing so you want to use this\u00a0\u00a002:39:05<\/a>on those worries that are particularly problematic\u00a0 those worries that come up again and again that\u00a0\u00a0 you’re really struggling with because this works\u00a0 it’s it’s not pleasant but it works so i’d liken\u00a0\u00a0 it a lot to that buckley’s cough syrup commercial\u00a0 you know it tastes awful but it works that’s kind\u00a0\u00a002:39:27<\/a>of what what this cognitive exposure is all about\u00a0 as well it tastes awful but it does work as we’ve\u00a0\u00a0 gone along we’ve talked about lots of different\u00a0 tools for managing these various uh factors that\u00a0\u00a0 maintain worry we’ve talked about worry awareness\u00a0 training and categorizing worries as type one or\u00a0\u00a002:39:51<\/a>type 2 worries we’ve talked about the importance\u00a0 of building tolerance for uncertainty through\u00a0\u00a0 behavioral experiments with uncertainty we’ve\u00a0 talked about ways of challenging worry beliefs\u00a0\u00a0 we’ve talked about improving problem orientation\u00a0 by recognizing problems earlier on by normalizing\u00a0\u00a002:40:11<\/a>the occurrence of problems and by reframing\u00a0 problems as opportunities instead of threats\u00a0\u00a0 we’ve talked about cognitive exposure and how\u00a0 that can be used to help address and deal with\u00a0\u00a0 type 2 worries so we’ve talked about a\u00a0 whole bunch of skills a whole bunch of tools\u00a0\u00a002:40:33<\/a>and for a lot of my clients when we get to\u00a0 this point of therapy they’ve learned a lot but\u00a0\u00a0 there’s a little bit of confusion in terms of like\u00a0 all of these skills seem a little bit disconnected\u00a0\u00a0 and they don’t really understand how they all come\u00a0 together and how to use all of them to effectively\u00a0\u00a002:40:52<\/a>manage worry and that’s what i want to talk\u00a0 about in this video exactly how we put together\u00a0\u00a0 these tools and skills the order in which to use\u00a0 them kind of like a recipe to best manage worry\u00a0\u00a0 so the very first step in terms\u00a0 of this worry management recipe\u00a0\u00a002:41:14<\/a>goes back to the very first tool we talked about\u00a0 which is worry awareness training you have to\u00a0\u00a0 be aware and you have to know what it is that\u00a0 you’re worrying about and then you categorize\u00a0\u00a0 the worries once you’ve identified the word you\u00a0 think about it and categorize it is this a type\u00a0\u00a002:41:31<\/a>1 worry or is this a type 2 worry so let’s start\u00a0 with type 1 worries what would be the formula or\u00a0\u00a0 the recipe for dealing with type 1 worries and\u00a0 as a review type 1 worries are worries about\u00a0\u00a0 actual current real problems problems that\u00a0 you’re actually experiencing in this moment\u00a0\u00a002:41:54<\/a>so the first step with type 1 worries is you’ve\u00a0 identified it as a type one worry well the next\u00a0\u00a0 thing to do is to think about are there any ways\u00a0 in which i’m being intolerant of uncertainty in\u00a0\u00a0 this situation are there various things that i’m\u00a0 doing that may be avoiding or trying to eliminate\u00a0\u00a002:42:15<\/a>uncertainty with this problem so for example\u00a0 let’s imagine that i have a problem like i’ve just\u00a0\u00a0 gotten into an argument with my friend and uh me\u00a0 and my friend haven’t spoken in a couple of weeks\u00a0\u00a0 so it’s a current problem that i’m dealing with\u00a0 well what are some of the ways in which i might be\u00a0\u00a002:42:39<\/a>intolerant of uncertainty in this situation well i\u00a0 may be avoiding reaching out to my friend because\u00a0\u00a0 i’m concerned that they’re still upset with me and\u00a0 so i’m engaging in avoidance or i may be checking\u00a0\u00a0 in with other friends and seeking reassurance\u00a0 about you know what i did was it was it wrong\u00a0\u00a002:43:03<\/a>would they be upset with me how would they react\u00a0 have they heard anything from my friend about it\u00a0\u00a0 so thinking about all of the things that i might\u00a0 be doing that are intolerant of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 and thinking about what is the opposite that\u00a0 i could be doing what are things that i can be\u00a0\u00a002:43:20<\/a>doing to tolerate uncertainty in that situation so\u00a0 that’s the the step looking for opportunities to\u00a0\u00a0 be more tolerant of uncertainty or to be tolerant\u00a0 of uncertainty with this problem after that after\u00a0\u00a0 i’ve worked on tolerating uncertainty the next\u00a0 thing i want to do is to think about which of the\u00a0\u00a002:43:43<\/a>worry beliefs might be playing a role in this\u00a0 worry so i might hold some worry beliefs that\u00a0\u00a0 maybe me worrying about you know my relationship\u00a0 with my friend it demonstrates that i’m caring\u00a0\u00a0 it demonstrates that i’m conscientious it\u00a0 demonstrates that i’m a responsible person\u00a0\u00a002:44:03<\/a>who cares about his relationships that’s why\u00a0 i’m worrying about it so once i’ve identified\u00a0\u00a0 that worry belief that’s continuing to have me\u00a0 worry about this i can begin to challenge that\u00a0\u00a0 worry belief using some of those challenging\u00a0 questions i talked about in a previous video\u00a0\u00a002:44:23<\/a>so i’ve engaged in trying to tolerate uncertainty\u00a0 i’ve identified and challenged my worry beliefs\u00a0\u00a0 the next step is to deal with\u00a0 that negative problem orientation\u00a0\u00a0 so recognizing the problem earlier on well\u00a0 i’ve identified the worry so that’s good\u00a0\u00a002:44:41<\/a>now i want to normalize that\u00a0 problems are normal it’s not um\u00a0\u00a0 it’s not that there’s something wrong with me that\u00a0 i’m having this problem with my friend it’s that\u00a0\u00a0 these things kind of happen um and then i want to\u00a0 try and reframe this problem as an opportunity so\u00a0\u00a002:44:58<\/a>i can look at this as this is terrible me and my\u00a0 friend are never going to get back together if i\u00a0\u00a0 try to reach out to my friend they’re going to be\u00a0 really upset with me and it’s going to lead to an\u00a0\u00a0 even worse outcome so i’m thinking about all\u00a0 of the threat associated with this worry but\u00a0\u00a002:45:17<\/a>the goal here is for me to try to reframe that\u00a0 as what’s the opportunity or the challenge here\u00a0\u00a0 well maybe the opportunity in this is for\u00a0 me and my friend to be able to work out this\u00a0\u00a0 problem and by doing so we actually get closer\u00a0 because we’ve gone through it we’ve worked out\u00a0\u00a002:45:36<\/a>our difficulties and now we’re at a at a better\u00a0 place than we were even before the problem came up\u00a0\u00a0 so then i can engage in the problem-solving\u00a0 steps because i’ve now looked i’ve identified the\u00a0\u00a0 the problem i’ve reframed it i’ve normalized\u00a0 it that negative problem orientation is out\u00a0\u00a002:45:58<\/a>of the way and now i can actually engage\u00a0 in some of those problem-solving steps\u00a0\u00a0 that we talked about in a previous video so\u00a0 identifying the problem identifying the goal\u00a0\u00a0 brainstorming possible solutions of how i\u00a0 can fix this relationship with my friend\u00a0\u00a002:46:14<\/a>evaluating those possible solutions and picking\u00a0 one developing a plan for what i’m going to do\u00a0\u00a0 and actually utilizing the plan or implementing\u00a0 the plan and then seeing whether or not it’s\u00a0\u00a0 helped seeing whether or not me and my\u00a0 friend have resolved our difficulties\u00a0\u00a002:46:34<\/a>so that if i do all of those things and if i\u00a0 solve the problem at the end i’m no longer going\u00a0\u00a0 to be worrying about this issue so that’s the\u00a0 recipe for how you deal with type 1 worries you\u00a0\u00a0 identify it and label it as a type one worry you\u00a0 look for tolerating uncertainty opportunities as\u00a0\u00a002:46:56<\/a>a type one worry you challenge the worry beliefs\u00a0 that are contributing to this type one worry you\u00a0\u00a0 address the negative problem orientation and you\u00a0 engage in problem solving so um it’s actually\u00a0\u00a0 pretty similar to the order in which i presented\u00a0 these tools as we were going through the videos\u00a0\u00a002:47:17<\/a>and that was for a reason because that’s kind of\u00a0 the order in which you want to use these tools\u00a0\u00a0 so that’s a type 1 worry well how do you deal with\u00a0 type 2 worries well if you remember type 2 worries\u00a0\u00a0 are worries about future or potential problems\u00a0 problems that haven’t happened yet problems that\u00a0\u00a002:47:36<\/a>may never happen and so what’s the approach\u00a0 for dealing with these type 2 worries well\u00a0\u00a0 the first few steps are actually identical for\u00a0 dealing with type 1 worries so you’ve identified\u00a0\u00a0 the worry you’ve labeled as a type 2 worry the\u00a0 first thing to do is to look for opportunities to\u00a0\u00a002:47:56<\/a>tolerate uncertainty so for example if my type\u00a0 2 worry is i’ve planned my one vacation a year\u00a0\u00a0 to be a sunny a warm weather destination\u00a0 vacation and i’m starting to worry about\u00a0\u00a0 the weather and that the weather is going\u00a0 to be terrible and that it’s going to rain\u00a0\u00a002:48:16<\/a>the whole time and my vacation is going to\u00a0 be ruined and this is something that really\u00a0\u00a0 sort of bothers me or is really concerning\u00a0 for me and that i’m worrying about it a lot\u00a0\u00a0 well thinking about what are some of the things\u00a0 that i might be doing to be more what are some\u00a0\u00a002:48:33<\/a>of the things that i could do to be more\u00a0 tolerant of uncertainty in this situation\u00a0\u00a0 well maybe i shouldn’t be checking the\u00a0 weather and the weather forecast for my\u00a0\u00a0 hot weather destination maybe i shouldn’t\u00a0 be checking uh the farmer’s almanac to see\u00a0\u00a002:48:51<\/a>historically what the weather was like at that\u00a0 destination over the time that i’m gonna be\u00a0\u00a0 traveling there maybe i shouldn’t be looking\u00a0 into all of the possible things i could do\u00a0\u00a0 if the weather is not great or if it is raining\u00a0 the whole time because those are all things that\u00a0\u00a002:49:11<\/a>are designed to eliminate uncertainty and so\u00a0 what i want to do is to try to be just more\u00a0\u00a0 tolerant of uncertainty in this situation and\u00a0 not do those intolerant of uncertainty behaviors\u00a0\u00a0 so once i’ve worked through the things that\u00a0 i can do to be more tolerant of uncertainty\u00a0\u00a002:49:30<\/a>i may want to challenge uh some of the beliefs\u00a0 about the usefulness of this worry so maybe i’ll\u00a0\u00a0 hold i hold a belief that worrying about this\u00a0 means that i’m kind of preparing myself so that\u00a0\u00a0 if i worry about it ahead of time if when i get\u00a0 to my vacation it is raining i’ll kind of have\u00a0\u00a002:49:50<\/a>prepared myself emotionally for it and so i won’t\u00a0 be so upset well identifying that worry belief and\u00a0\u00a0 challenging that worry belief as we talked about\u00a0 in the challenging worry beliefs video so now\u00a0\u00a0 i’ve i’ve gone through i’m tolerating uncertainty\u00a0 i’ve identified and challenged the worry beliefs\u00a0\u00a002:50:10<\/a>the next step i want to do if i’m still worrying\u00a0 about this is to engage in that cognitive exposure\u00a0\u00a0 exercise that i talked about which is essentially\u00a0 to write out a script imagining that worst case\u00a0\u00a0 scenario imagining that i end up on this\u00a0 vacation and it’s pouring the whole time\u00a0\u00a002:50:29<\/a>and imagining how bad it would be to its very end\u00a0 and then reviewing that script over and over and\u00a0\u00a0 over again to essentially drain the emotion out of\u00a0 it so that’s the process for type 2 worries and if\u00a0\u00a0 you notice the first few steps are identical to\u00a0 the steps in type 1 worries all that differs is\u00a0\u00a002:50:51<\/a>what you do at the end whether it’s cognitive\u00a0 exposure or whether or not it’s problem solving\u00a0\u00a0 so those are the recipes that’s the order in which\u00a0 you want to use these tools and that’s how these\u00a0\u00a0 tools sort of fit together to work together for\u00a0 the most effective worry management now one of the\u00a0\u00a002:51:11<\/a>things that can come up is sometimes my clients\u00a0 will say okay i understand this and i understand\u00a0\u00a0 it makes sense what i do with type 1 where is\u00a0 it makes sense what i do with type 2 worries\u00a0\u00a0 but what if i make a mistake at that very first\u00a0 step what if i label a type 1 worry as a type 2\u00a0\u00a002:51:32<\/a>worry so for example it’s a worry about an actual\u00a0 problem but i mislabel it as a type 2 worry so\u00a0\u00a0 i think it’s a worry about a future or potential\u00a0 problem well whenever clients bring this up i say\u00a0\u00a0 okay well let’s walk through what would happen\u00a0 then well so it’s a type one worry in actuality\u00a0\u00a002:51:54<\/a>but i imagine it a type two worry so what i’m\u00a0 gonna do with dealing with the type two worry\u00a0\u00a0 is i’m going to be tolerating uncertainty well\u00a0 i’d be doing that for a type 1 worry anyway\u00a0\u00a0 i’d be identifying and challenging worry beliefs\u00a0 well be doing that for a type 1 worry anyway\u00a0\u00a002:52:12<\/a>then i’d engage in cognitive exposure so i write\u00a0 out a script and start working on a script about\u00a0\u00a0 the worst case scenario that i can imagine in\u00a0 this well that wouldn’t really work for a type\u00a0\u00a0 one worry because the type one worries about an\u00a0 actual problem but what will happen and this has\u00a0\u00a002:52:35<\/a>happened with some of my clients before is they\u00a0 start working on a worry script and they start\u00a0\u00a0 reviewing the worry script and what they find\u00a0 is that they start to get really frustrated\u00a0\u00a0 because they’re reviewing a wordy script\u00a0 about something they have control over\u00a0\u00a002:52:53<\/a>and then once they identify that no wait\u00a0 this is something i have control over\u00a0\u00a0 then they can recognize you know what this isn’t\u00a0 actually a type two worry this is a type one worry\u00a0\u00a0 and at that point they then shift to dealing with\u00a0 it in terms of addressing the negative problem\u00a0\u00a002:53:10<\/a>orientation and engaging in problem solving so\u00a0 there’s nothing really wrong with misclassifying\u00a0\u00a0 a type 1 worry as a type 2 worry because once\u00a0 you get to the cognitive exposure part of the\u00a0\u00a0 the recipe you’ll recognize that this cognitive\u00a0 exposure isn’t working because i can do something\u00a0\u00a002:53:32<\/a>about it and once i recognize i can do something\u00a0 about it i can then shift over to addressing it\u00a0\u00a0 like a type one word so think about what would\u00a0 happen if it’s actually a type two worry but i\u00a0\u00a0 misclassify it as a type one worry so to worry\u00a0 about a future or potential problem but i deal\u00a0\u00a002:53:54<\/a>with it like it’s a worry about a current problem\u00a0 well the first few steps are going to be identical\u00a0\u00a0 i’m going to be tolerating uncertainty i’m going\u00a0 to be identifying and challenging worry beliefs\u00a0\u00a0 the only difference is now i’m going to start\u00a0 to engage in problem solving or i’m going to try\u00a0\u00a002:54:12<\/a>to engage in problem solving for a problem that\u00a0 doesn’t exist well as soon as i start to try and\u00a0\u00a0 engage in problem solving i’m going to recognize\u00a0 that the problem doesn’t currently exist and once\u00a0\u00a0 i’m aware that the problem doesn’t currently exist\u00a0 that’s my cue that this is actually a type 2 worry\u00a0\u00a002:54:31<\/a>and so then i can shift to working on a cognitive\u00a0 exposure script if i need to so the idea here is\u00a0\u00a0 not to worry about or not to get too preoccupied\u00a0 with having to have it perfectly clear is this a\u00a0\u00a0 type 1 worry is this a type 2 worry like i said\u00a0 from the very beginning just do your best just\u00a0\u00a002:54:53<\/a>sort of do your best to try and figure out if this\u00a0 is type 1 or type 2 and just go with it because\u00a0\u00a0 the process is self-correcting the first few steps\u00a0 are going to be identical whether or not it’s type\u00a0\u00a0 1 or a type 2 worry and if you misclassify the\u00a0 worries it’s ok because you’ll recognize that\u00a0\u00a002:55:13<\/a>as soon as you start doing either the cognitive\u00a0 exposure or the problem solving and you’ll\u00a0\u00a0 recognize that it’s not working which means\u00a0 that you’ve probably misclassified the worry\u00a0\u00a0 and so you just need to shift to whatever tool\u00a0 you need to use for the other type of work02:55:35<\/a>for some people they find that some of their\u00a0 worries don’t really fit nicely into this type\u00a0\u00a0 1 type 2 categorization that there seems to be\u00a0 a bit of type 1 component to the worry but also\u00a0\u00a0 a type 2 component to the worry so the worry is\u00a0 is kind of more complex there’s kind of this mix\u00a0\u00a002:55:58<\/a>of type 1 and type 2 worries so the question\u00a0 becomes how exactly do i deal with this how do\u00a0\u00a0 i deal with these complex worries and so what i\u00a0 wanted to talk about is kind of a formula recipe\u00a0\u00a0 for these type these complex worries that actually\u00a0 follows quite nicely from the previous video\u00a0\u00a002:56:23<\/a>so if you think about the very first step in worry\u00a0 management we identify it as recognizing what it\u00a0\u00a0 is that you’re worrying about and labeling\u00a0 the worry is it type one or is it type two\u00a0\u00a0 well in this situation what you’re doing is you’re\u00a0 recognizing and you’re identifying the worry\u00a0\u00a002:56:42<\/a>and recognizing that it’s both type one and type\u00a0 two it’s a mixed worry so i’ll give you an example\u00a0\u00a0 of a mixed worry suppose i have a business and\u00a0 during the busiest time of the year i have a\u00a0\u00a0 whole bunch of staff members quit or get sick and\u00a0 so i don’t have enough staff to be able to fill\u00a0\u00a002:57:06<\/a>all of the orders that i have and so then i start\u00a0 to worry well this is going to really upset a lot\u00a0\u00a0 of my customers and what if those customers decide\u00a0 that they’re going to go shop somewhere else and\u00a0\u00a0 then this will have a real negative impact on\u00a0 my business and my business is going to decline\u00a0\u00a002:57:26<\/a>and maybe shut down in the future because i’m\u00a0 not going to be able to recover from this setback\u00a0\u00a0 so it’s got a bit of a type one component to\u00a0 it that i’m dealing with a problem right now\u00a0\u00a0 of my staff all either quitting or getting sick\u00a0 and not having enough staff to uh complete all\u00a0\u00a002:57:46<\/a>of the orders so that’s the type one component of\u00a0 the worry but the type two component of the worry\u00a0\u00a0 is my business suffering in the future because\u00a0 of this and ultimately me losing my business\u00a0\u00a0 because all of my customers have gone somewhere\u00a0 else that’s the type two component of this worry\u00a0\u00a002:58:08<\/a>so we’ve got a little bit of a mix our type\u00a0 one worry has spiraled into a type two worry so\u00a0\u00a0 what do you do with this i’ve identified it as a\u00a0 complex worry i’ve identified it as a mixed worry\u00a0\u00a0 what’s what do i do to manage this worry well\u00a0 very first step as we talked about in the previous\u00a0\u00a002:58:29<\/a>video is to look for ways in which i can be more\u00a0 tolerant of uncertainty in this situation how do i\u00a0\u00a0 tolerate uncertainty or another way of thinking\u00a0 about it is what are the ways in which i’m being\u00a0\u00a0 intolerant of uncertainty in this situation so\u00a0 maybe what i’m doing is i’m avoiding notifying my\u00a0\u00a002:58:55<\/a>customers that their shipment is going to be\u00a0 delayed because i’m concerned that if i notify\u00a0\u00a0 them they’re going to cancel the order well all\u00a0 that’s really doing is maintaining my worry about\u00a0\u00a0 you know what my customers are thinking so\u00a0 more tolerating uncertainty thing to do in\u00a0\u00a002:59:12<\/a>that situation is to notify them call them explain\u00a0 to them what’s going on and see what happens so\u00a0\u00a0 thinking about what are the ways in which i can\u00a0 be more tolerant of uncertainty in this situation\u00a0\u00a0 second thing you do like with all worries\u00a0 is to identify and challenge worry beliefs\u00a0\u00a002:59:33<\/a>to think about what are the worry\u00a0 beliefs that might be playing a role\u00a0\u00a0 in me worrying about these series of events\u00a0 and the future series of events do i think\u00a0\u00a0 that worrying about this situation worrying about\u00a0 not having enough staff to fulfill these orders\u00a0\u00a002:59:51<\/a>is worrying about it going to help me solve that\u00a0 problem well then i can think about the tools\u00a0\u00a0 that i’ve learned to help me challenge that belief\u00a0 that worry aids in problem solving so i identify\u00a0\u00a0 and challenge the worry beliefs that might be\u00a0 contributing to my worry so i’ve gone through\u00a0\u00a003:00:12<\/a>those steps and those are the same steps we use\u00a0 regardless of the worry regardless of whether\u00a0\u00a0 it’s a type 1 or a type 2 worry but now what do\u00a0 i do it’s still there maybe i’m still worrying\u00a0\u00a0 about it and it’s this mixed word it’s still got\u00a0 type 1 and it’s still got type 2 components to it\u00a0\u00a003:00:30<\/a>well what i recommend for clients in this type\u00a0 of situation is to focus on it like it’s a type 1\u00a0\u00a0 worry so look at the negative problem orientation\u00a0 that may be contributing to the worry so\u00a0\u00a0 uh trying to reframe the problem as an opportunity\u00a0 what’s the opportunity in this situation for me\u00a0\u00a003:00:50<\/a>well maybe the opportunity is for me to figure out\u00a0 ways of becoming more streamlined in how i get my\u00a0\u00a0 product out to my customers maybe i can figure out\u00a0 more efficient ways of fulfilling the orders with\u00a0\u00a0 fewer staff which will help me grow my business\u00a0 in the future so there’s opportunities in this and\u00a0\u00a003:01:12<\/a>so if i can reframe those offer reframe the the\u00a0 problem rather than just seeing it as a threat i\u00a0\u00a0 reframe it as an opportunity then i’m more likely\u00a0 to then be able to engage in some problem solving\u00a0\u00a0 with this so i then engage in those problem\u00a0 solving steps to try and address the problem of\u00a0\u00a003:01:33<\/a>not having enough staff to fulfill these orders so\u00a0 i engage in those six problem solving steps that\u00a0\u00a0 i talked about in an earlier video so now i’ve\u00a0 engaged in effective problem solving suppose i’ve\u00a0\u00a0 i’ve solved the problem so i’ve i figured out ways\u00a0 of either hiring new temporary staff or being more\u00a0\u00a003:01:55<\/a>efficient and being able to fulfill these orders\u00a0 with the staff that i have so i’ve solved that\u00a0\u00a0 problem well there’s a good chance that by solving\u00a0 the problem i’ve now eliminated the type 2 worry\u00a0\u00a0 part of this worry as well so i’ve eliminated\u00a0 the type 1 because i’ve addressed the problem\u00a0\u00a003:02:15<\/a>but now that i’ve addressed the problem maybe i’m\u00a0 not going to worry about losing all my customers\u00a0\u00a0 anymore and maybe i’m not going to worry\u00a0 about becoming bankrupt and losing my company\u00a0\u00a0 so by addressing it as a type one worry i\u00a0 may fully solve the type two worry part of\u00a0\u00a003:02:34<\/a>this and fully address the complex worry by\u00a0 just treating it like it’s a type one worry\u00a0\u00a0 but suppose that i solved the problem i’ve\u00a0 addressed the type one worry part of it\u00a0\u00a0 but there’s still this mingling worry that i have\u00a0 about yeah that was close what if in the future\u00a0\u00a003:02:54<\/a>my business falls apart and i start to keep\u00a0 worrying about that type two part of the worry\u00a0\u00a0 well if i’m still worrying about the type two part\u00a0 of the worry then i can engage in the cognitive\u00a0\u00a0 exposure we’ve talked about so write out a script\u00a0 imagining that worst case scenario and then\u00a0\u00a003:03:14<\/a>reviewing that script over and over and over again\u00a0 to essentially drain the emotion out of that worry\u00a0\u00a0 so these complex worries even though they\u00a0 seem more complex they’re actually pretty\u00a0\u00a0 straightforward in terms of the steps you\u00a0 need to use in the order you need to use them\u00a0\u00a003:03:37<\/a>and they’re very similar to how we deal with\u00a0 be it a type 1 worry or be it a type 2 worry\u00a0\u00a0 so you essentially treat it like it’s a type 1\u00a0 worry you identify the worry tolerate uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 challenge worry beliefs address the negative\u00a0 problem orientation and engage in problem solving\u00a0\u00a003:03:58<\/a>at that point if there’s any type\u00a0 2 part of the worry left over\u00a0\u00a0 then you engage in the cognitive exposure so what\u00a0 i like about this is that it flows nicely with\u00a0\u00a0 what we talked about in the previous video about\u00a0 our recipe for managing worries and that complex\u00a0\u00a003:04:21<\/a>worries are actually not all that complex in\u00a0 terms of what you need to do to address the worry so what we’ve done over the last 14 videos\u00a0 is talk about a number of worry management\u00a0\u00a0 skills and tools we started out with our basic\u00a0 engine of worry we talked about the role that\u00a0\u00a003:04:49<\/a>intolerance of uncertainty plays as the fuel\u00a0 that drives the worry engine we’ve talked about\u00a0\u00a0 the role of beliefs about the usefulness of\u00a0 worry and how that those beliefs can maintain\u00a0\u00a0 excessive difficult to control worry we’ve talked\u00a0 about the role of negative problem orientation\u00a0\u00a003:05:08<\/a>and ineffective problem solving in keeping\u00a0 worry about current problems going we’ve talked\u00a0\u00a0 about how cognitive avoidance can maintain\u00a0 worries about future or potential problems\u00a0\u00a0 we’ve also talked about a flow chart for\u00a0 and recipe for how you go about managing\u00a0\u00a003:05:30<\/a>different types of worries including type 1\u00a0 worries type 2 worries and mix or complex worries\u00a0\u00a0 so we have talked about a lot of tools we’ve\u00a0 talked about a lot of skills and you may have\u00a0\u00a0 learned a lot by watching all of these videos so\u00a0 the question becomes okay well what do i do with\u00a0\u00a003:05:51<\/a>this now moving forward now one of the things i\u00a0 want to point out is that this isn’t this model\u00a0\u00a0 of worry that i’m talking about here isn’t just\u00a0 something that i’ve imagined it’s actually based\u00a0\u00a0 in a lot of scientific research that has backed\u00a0 this model of worry and back this treatment\u00a0\u00a003:06:10<\/a>protocol that i’ve been walking you through this\u00a0 treatment protocol is based on the research and\u00a0\u00a0 work of a really brilliant psychologist named\u00a0 michelle duga who’s at concordia university\u00a0\u00a0 in montreal and what duga and his colleagues did\u00a0 was they developed this protocol and then they\u00a0\u00a003:06:32<\/a>administered it to a number of people who worried\u00a0 excessively people with generalized anxiety\u00a0\u00a0 disorder and what they found was that at the end\u00a0 of treatment not surprisingly the vast majority of\u00a0\u00a0 people who went through this treatment showed\u00a0 significant improvements in their worry levels\u00a0\u00a003:06:54<\/a>in terms of their anxiety levels so it showed that\u00a0 at the end of treatment the treatment had actually\u00a0\u00a0 worked it actually been really effective in\u00a0 terms of helping people better manage their worry\u00a0\u00a0 but what they did was they took the research\u00a0 even a step further and they followed up\u00a0\u00a003:07:12<\/a>the people two years later and\u00a0 what they found was actually quite\u00a0\u00a0 encouraging they found that the majority of\u00a0 people who went through this treatment protocol\u00a0\u00a0 at two years later we’re still showing the\u00a0 same gains and the same improvement that\u00a0\u00a003:07:30<\/a>they had demonstrated at the end of treatment\u00a0 and so what that means is that the treatment\u00a0\u00a0 wasn’t just effective as long as the person was\u00a0 in the treatment or was receiving the therapy\u00a0\u00a0 but that they maintained the progress two years\u00a0 later and so there are lasting improvements and\u00a0\u00a003:07:48<\/a>lasting gains from this treatment but what they\u00a0 also found was that there was a subset of people\u00a0\u00a0 who actually showed even further improvements\u00a0 at the two-year mark that they demonstrated\u00a0\u00a0 even lower levels of worry and even lower levels\u00a0 of anxiety two years later than they did when they\u00a0\u00a003:08:10<\/a>stopped the therapy so what this demonstrates is\u00a0 that for the most of the people the vast majority\u00a0\u00a0 of people who go through this treatment\u00a0 and who go through the treatment protocol\u00a0\u00a0 actually maintain their gains or show even further\u00a0 improvement two years later and that’s great to\u00a0\u00a003:08:29<\/a>know so what it means is that this treatment isn’t\u00a0 just something that you do and then the benefits\u00a0\u00a0 go away it’s something in which the benefits are\u00a0 maintained for at least two years likely beyond\u00a0\u00a0 but in the research what they also found\u00a0 was that there was a small subset of people\u00a0\u00a003:08:50<\/a>who experienced a recurrence of symptoms so at two\u00a0 years later they are actually demonstrating higher\u00a0\u00a0 levels of worry and higher levels of anxiety\u00a0 than they were when they stopped treatment\u00a0\u00a0 and so what dugon his colleagues looked at was\u00a0 what was the difference between these groups\u00a0\u00a003:09:08<\/a>of people what was it about the people who\u00a0 showed a recurrence of symptoms who showed\u00a0\u00a0 a deterioration in their\u00a0 level of worry and anxiety\u00a0\u00a0 at two years compared to the people who maintained\u00a0 their gains for who even got better at two years\u00a0\u00a003:09:27<\/a>and not surprisingly what they found was that the\u00a0 people who maintained their gains or who continued\u00a0\u00a0 to get better at two years those were the people\u00a0 who were still using the worry management skills\u00a0\u00a0 whereas the people who showed a worsening in\u00a0 their symptoms at two years they were people who\u00a0\u00a003:09:48<\/a>at the end of treatment had felt better and\u00a0 then they were just happy to be done with\u00a0\u00a0 excessive worry they were happy to be over\u00a0 it and they just wanted to move on with their\u00a0\u00a0 lives and so they stopped using the skills and\u00a0 this is one of the things about this type of\u00a0\u00a003:10:07<\/a>treatment or this approach for worry management\u00a0 it’s a skills-based form of treatment it is not\u00a0\u00a0 a worry cure it’s worry management\u00a0 because the reality is everyone worries\u00a0\u00a0 and everyone will always worry but this\u00a0 treatment isn’t about preventing worry\u00a0\u00a003:10:28<\/a>it’s about helping a person control and manage\u00a0 the worry so it’s not so excessive or interfering\u00a0\u00a0 in a person’s life and so if you stop using the\u00a0 tools then they’re going to stop being of benefit\u00a0\u00a0 and you’re likely going to fall back into old\u00a0 habits of excessive worry and high anxiety\u00a0\u00a003:10:51<\/a>and so it really is about what can you do to make\u00a0 sure that you’re continuing to use your tools what\u00a0\u00a0 can you do to ensure that you’re maintaining the\u00a0 gains and using these worry management skills on\u00a0\u00a0 an ongoing basis and i want to give a few tips\u00a0 about how to do that uh in this video so the\u00a0\u00a003:11:14<\/a>first thing to realize and the first thing that’s\u00a0 really important to understand is that there will\u00a0\u00a0 be times when you will experience a resurgence\u00a0 in worry there will be times in your life moving\u00a0\u00a0 forward where you will experience higher levels\u00a0 of worry because life stressors will come up\u00a0\u00a003:11:32<\/a>things will come up and we know that life stress\u00a0 tends to exacerbate and increase worry for people\u00a0\u00a0 now there’s a difference between a temporary\u00a0 increase in worry and a full relapse of worry\u00a0\u00a0 so what you want to do is to\u00a0 take these life stressors and\u00a0\u00a003:11:53<\/a>to take these uh the increase in worry\u00a0 that comes with these life stressors\u00a0\u00a0 and really apply the worry management tools to\u00a0 address the worries as they come up and help you\u00a0\u00a0 get through those life stressors and get through\u00a0 the worries associated with those life stressors\u00a0\u00a003:12:12<\/a>now sometimes life stressors are unexpected\u00a0 they come out of the blue i suddenly lose my job\u00a0\u00a0 someone in my family suddenly gets sick and i\u00a0 didn’t anticipate it there was no way i could\u00a0\u00a0 have anticipated it it’s not really much you can\u00a0 do about those types of stressors however there\u00a0\u00a003:12:34<\/a>are some life stressors that are predictable and\u00a0 so what you want to do one of the first things you\u00a0\u00a0 can do and to ensure that you’re maintaining\u00a0 uh your use of these worry management skills\u00a0\u00a0 is to plan ahead for future stressors so for\u00a0 example some predictable life stressors are\u00a0\u00a003:12:55<\/a>the holiday season christmas and new year’s\u00a0 a lot of people find that time of year to be\u00a0\u00a0 extremely stressful well that’s an example of\u00a0 a predictable stressor so if you know that the\u00a0\u00a0 holiday season’s coming up the idea is to plan\u00a0 ahead for what it is that you’re going to do\u00a0\u00a003:13:13<\/a>to better manage your worry or to manage your\u00a0 worry that comes up with that stress so it may\u00a0\u00a0 be that you plan to do more formal tolerating\u00a0 uncertainty experiments during that time it may\u00a0\u00a0 be that you’re more hyper aware and hyper tuned to\u00a0 those problems that tend to come up for you over\u00a0\u00a003:13:36<\/a>and over again and so you can identify those\u00a0 problems earlier on during the holiday season\u00a0\u00a0 and then be able to kick into your reframing and\u00a0 problem solving so you want to plan ahead and if\u00a0\u00a0 you can plan ahead for foreseeable futures and to\u00a0 develop a plan for what you’re going to be doing\u00a0\u00a003:13:56<\/a>to manage your worry during that time that can go\u00a0 a long way in preventing you from spiraling into\u00a0\u00a0 excessive worry and high levels of anxiety during\u00a0 those stressful times second thing you can do to\u00a0\u00a0 maintain your worry is to think about what are\u00a0 some early warning signs that you may want to\u00a0\u00a003:14:18<\/a>pay attention to that would indicate to you that\u00a0 you’re starting to slip back into old excessive\u00a0\u00a0 worry habits now the thing is people don’t\u00a0 just tend to start worrying excessively one day\u00a0\u00a0 it’s for a lot of people it’s something that\u00a0 they’ve done their whole life so you may have\u00a0\u00a003:14:40<\/a>gone through these worry management videos you’ve\u00a0 learned a lot of skills and you’re using them and\u00a0\u00a0 you’re able to really manage your worry quite\u00a0 well but it’s important to remember that you’ve\u00a0\u00a0 only been managing your worry quite well for a\u00a0 few weeks now compared to maybe a lifetime of\u00a0\u00a003:15:00<\/a>excessive worry so that lifetime of excessive\u00a0 worry is kind of like an old habit and so\u00a0\u00a0 it’s really easy to fall back and slip back\u00a0 into those old worry excessive worry habits\u00a0\u00a0 so the idea is to think about what are some clear\u00a0 signs for me that are going to be like early\u00a0\u00a003:15:23<\/a>warning signs that tell me that i’m starting to\u00a0 slide down an old familiar path of excessive worry\u00a0\u00a0 you want to try to make these as specific as\u00a0 possible so that they can be your early alarm\u00a0\u00a0 or your early warning sign that something bad or\u00a0 something wrong is going on in terms of worrying\u00a0\u00a003:15:43<\/a>excessively so things like noticing that you’ve\u00a0 been having trouble sleeping for the last four\u00a0\u00a0 nights in a row things like noticing that you\u00a0 haven’t been doing any tolerating uncertainty\u00a0\u00a0 experiments for a couple of weeks noticing\u00a0 that maybe you’ve been avoiding some social\u00a0\u00a003:16:04<\/a>interactions because you’ve been a little bit more\u00a0 uncomfortable or or experiencing a bit more stress\u00a0\u00a0 those behavioral indicators those behavioral\u00a0 signs that maybe you’re sliding back into old\u00a0\u00a0 habits because once you recognize that maybe\u00a0 you’re starting that slide back into old habits\u00a0\u00a003:16:24<\/a>you can then kick into using your worry management\u00a0 skills again and really focusing on those worry\u00a0\u00a0 management skills to get back on track and to\u00a0 ensure that that little lapse doesn’t lead to\u00a0\u00a0 a full relapse in terms of high levels of worry\u00a0 high levels of anxiety because it’s a lot easier\u00a0\u00a003:16:44<\/a>to make a course correction earlier on than it is\u00a0 when you find yourself worrying excessively again and the third tip for ensuring that you’re\u00a0 maintaining your progress is to have a plan for\u00a0\u00a0 what you would do if you ever did find yourself\u00a0 worrying excessively again now i know for a lot\u00a0\u00a003:17:08<\/a>of people they don’t like to think about this\u00a0 they want to to be positive and optimistic about\u00a0\u00a0 being able to manage their worry moving forward\u00a0 and that it’s not going to be a problem for them\u00a0\u00a0 again but i like to think of this\u00a0 more like an insurance policy\u00a0\u00a003:17:26<\/a>so the idea is to sit down and spend some\u00a0 time writing out a recipe or a formula for\u00a0\u00a0 exactly what it is that you would\u00a0 do what are the various steps\u00a0\u00a0 that you would need you would go through if you\u00a0 noticed yourself worrying excessively again so it\u00a0\u00a003:17:45<\/a>may be uh bookmarking or uh or highlighting some\u00a0 of these videos and going back to watching some\u00a0\u00a0 of these videos it may be that you’ve taken some\u00a0 notes from these videos so it’s about reviewing\u00a0\u00a0 your notes and having a plan for what is it what\u00a0 it is that i’m going to do if i catch myself\u00a0\u00a003:18:05<\/a>worrying excessively again and you can have this\u00a0 this instruction manual and you can fold it up put\u00a0\u00a0 it in an envelope and then right on the outside\u00a0 of the envelope open in case of worry emergency\u00a0\u00a0 because if you ever catch yourself worrying\u00a0 excessively again at some point in the future\u00a0\u00a003:18:26<\/a>it’s really difficult in that moment to remember\u00a0 exactly what it is that you need to do to better\u00a0\u00a0 manage or better control your worry so what you\u00a0 can do if you ever find yourself in that situation\u00a0\u00a0 is you go to this envelope you open it up and then\u00a0 you just read the instructions that you have come\u00a0\u00a003:18:45<\/a>up with for you and so it can be a nice insurance\u00a0 policy and hopefully you never need it because\u00a0\u00a0 you’ve been planning for stressors you’ve been\u00a0 catching yourself in those early warning signs\u00a0\u00a0 that you might be falling back into old habits\u00a0 and you’re continuing to use the worry management\u00a0\u00a003:19:05<\/a>skills that you’ve learned on an ongoing\u00a0 basis maybe you never need to open that letter\u00a0\u00a0 but it’s there for you just in case you need it so\u00a0 those are some tips for maintaining the progress\u00a0\u00a0 that you’ve made uh through using these worry\u00a0 management tools that i’ve been talking about\u00a0\u00a003:19:26<\/a>and that’s the end of our 14-part series on worry\u00a0 management you’ve learned a lot if you’ve watched\u00a0\u00a0 all of the videos you’ve learned a lot about\u00a0 worry you’ve learned a lot about the factors\u00a0\u00a0 that maintain worry and all of the tools\u00a0 that you can use to manage worry this is not\u00a0\u00a003:19:49<\/a>five simple steps to overcome worry i’ve never\u00a0 believed in that sort of approach because\u00a0\u00a0 i think it tends to invalidate and minimize\u00a0 worry if it was as easy as five simple steps\u00a0\u00a0 nobody would be worrying excessively worry\u00a0 management is a lot of work that’s a lot\u00a0\u00a003:20:10<\/a>of hard work but if you understand the skills\u00a0 and you understand the tools and you use them\u00a0\u00a0 these skills and tools work and you can better\u00a0 control and better manage your worry so i would\u00a0\u00a0 love to hear your thoughts and comments about\u00a0 this so please leave me some comments down below\u00a0\u00a003:20:33<\/a>uh if you like this video if you found\u00a0 it helpful please hit the like button\u00a0\u00a0 and if you’d like to see more of my videos please\u00a0 hit the subscribe button and the notification bell\u00a0\u00a0 and you’ll be alerted every thursday when i post\u00a0 a new video so thank you for making it all the way\u00a0\u00a0
Source : Youtube<\/a><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=qGbgibPSn3s&t=191s00:00:01Do you worry a lot do you know\u00a0 somebody who does worry a lot\u00a0\u00a0 well this is the ultimate guide for understanding\u00a0 managing and better controlling worries\u00a0\u00a0 hi everyone welcome to the ultimate video guide\u00a0 for managing worry this video is going to be a\u00a0\u00a000:00:30long video that puts together a number of\u00a0 other videos that … Continue reading 3 HOURS of Worry Management Skills: The Ultimate Generalized Anxiety Disorder Guide | Dr. Rami Nader<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":152167,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[483],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-152166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-media"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/1709423307-maxresdefault.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=152166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/152166\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/152167"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=152166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=152166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=152166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}