{"id":151718,"date":"2023-11-02T05:29:55","date_gmt":"2023-11-02T09:29:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/?p=151718"},"modified":"2023-11-01T19:54:01","modified_gmt":"2023-11-01T23:54:01","slug":"societal-expectations-and-inner-desires-the-complex-dynamics-of-motivation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/151718","title":{"rendered":"Societal Expectations and Inner Desires: The Complex Dynamics of Motivation"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"jetpack-video-wrapper\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Societal Expectations and Inner Desires: The Complex Dynamics of Motivation\" width=\"660\" height=\"371\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/HLiasZwWTjA?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMotivation is the experience of wanting something or wanting to avoid it. When we study\r\nhow we get motivated to learn, develop,\u00a0\u00a0 and succeed, we can identify two contrary\r\nforces: extrinsic and intrinsic ones On the one hand, we want to belong, desire to\r\nbe loved, and seek to get the attention we think we deserve. We are motivated extrinsically\r\nby rewards, to progress socially. On the other hand, we strive to explore\r\nthings that are satisfying in themselves,\u00a0\u00a0 disregarding rewards. We\r\nare motivated intrinsically,\u00a0\u00a0 by a natural curiosity which we follow because it\r\nfeels right. The opinions of others don\u2019t matter. To understand why we probably\r\nneed a good mix of both,\u00a0\u00a0 let’s imagine two four-year-old children. Both\r\ngrow up in families that want only the best for their kids but have completely opposing\r\nviews on how to motivate them to succeed.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nTom’s parents believe that\r\nall their boy needs is love.\u00a0\u00a0 To not undermine his intrinsic interests, they\r\nnever praise him or use rewards. Eventually, they decide to not give him any feedback at\r\nall, fearing it could corrupt his free mind. Over the years Tom develops an\r\nimmense capacity to imagine,\u00a0\u00a0 spending most of his time playing by himself.\r\nBy being allowed to follow his passions,\u00a0\u00a0 he learns what he likes and what he doesn\u2019t.\r\nBut Tom doesn\u2019t learn what others expect and gets easily irritated when he\u2019s asked\r\nto do something in a particular way. Mira\u2019s parents believe that their\r\nprecious little girl needs clear rules about what’s good and what’s not.\r\nThey see it as their duty to help Mira learn by providing precise and actionable\r\nfeedback on all aspects of her young life.\u00a0 Mira spends her days in preschool, music, and ballet lessons. Over the years she gets exceptionally good at the things that please\r\nthe adults around her.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nHowever, since there is neither time to play nor to relax, she doesn\u2019t\r\ndiscover her interests. Being alone bores her. At 14, Tom is independent and begins writing\r\nscience fiction. He realizes that he isn\u2019t quite like his friends and spends most of his\r\ntime at the library. When he shares his writing,\u00a0\u00a0 others can\u2019t quite relate. At the same age, Mira\r\nis at the top of her class and has plenty of friends and admirers. She knows what is expected\r\nof her and makes sure to meet those expectations.\u00a0\u00a0 Sometimes the pressure becomes\r\nunbearable, although that\u2019s her secret. By the day he turns 21, Tom has a unique\r\nperspective of the world. He is intelligent,\u00a0\u00a0 but doesn’t like to work for money and hence is\r\noften broke. He hates the idea of conforming to conventional norms and is annoyed if someone\r\ninterferes with his creative expression.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/images.pexels.com\/photos\/7204235\/pexels-photo-7204235.jpeg?auto=compress&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;h=650&amp;w=940\" \/>\r\n\r\nAt this point, Tom knows a lot about himself\r\nbut doesn\u2019t connect well with others.\u00a0\u00a0 To him, people seem to follow rules\r\nwithout questioning them\u2014 just like sheep.\u00a0\u00a0 Integrating into the society is difficult at\r\nthis point and he begins to search for utopia. Mira makes it into a top medical school where she\r\nrealizes, she\u2019ll never be top of the class again.\u00a0\u00a0 Once that place seems out of reach,\r\nher motivation drops and she wonders if medicine interests\r\nher. Since quitting is no option,\u00a0\u00a0 she takes up a second major and\r\nruns for student council president. Soon Mira will know everything about what\r\nothers expect, but nothing about what she likes for herself. All her life she has just\r\nlistened – driven by external feedback loops.\u00a0\u00a0 At this point, she’s also lost the ability to\r\nquestion the norms of the society she grew up in. Listening to our hearts can tell us who we\r\nare, but not how to be happy among others.\u00a0\u00a0 Listening to others can motivate us to be\r\na part of their world, but doesn’t teach us if that world is ours.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThis is why it\u2019s\r\nprobably good for the two to go together.\u00a0\u00a0 Then we can learn what we want, and\r\nget the feedback that we need to stay motivated to explore\r\nnew roads into a better society. A large body of research shows that balancing\r\nthe two forces is not straightforward. One meta-analysis of 128 studies examined the effects\r\nof extrinsic rewards on intrinsic motivation.\u00a0\u00a0 While most rewards significantly\r\nundermine our intrinsic interest,\u00a0\u00a0 positive feedback \u2014 which is an extrinsic\r\nmotivator \u2014 inspires us to keep going. Put simply, honest words of\r\nencouragement get us going,\u00a0\u00a0 while money or gifts undermine our inner drive.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhat about you? Do you listen to your\r\nheart or the voices of society?\u00a0\u00a0 And from your personal experience, which\r\nof the two eventually takes your decision?\u00a0\u00a0 Share your thoughts and check the\r\ndescription to dive deeper into the topic. Sprouts videos are published under the Creative\r\nCommons License. That means our videos are free and anyone can download, edit, and play them for\r\npersonal use. Public schools, governments,\u00a0\u00a0 and non-profit organizations can also use them\r\nfor training, online courses, or designing new curriculums. To help us stay independent and\r\nsupport our work, you can join our patrons and contribute. Just visit patreon.com\/sprouts.\r\nEven one dollar can make a difference.\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=HLiasZwWTjA\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">As found on YouTube<\/a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/jvz4.com\/c\/335985\/319641\">Explaindio Agency Edition<\/a> FREE Training How to Create Explainer Videos &amp; SELL or RENT them! Join this FREE webinar | Work Less &amp; Earn More With <a href=\"https:\/\/jvz4.com\/c\/335985\/319641\">Explaindio AGENCY EDITION<\/a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/jvz4.com\/c\/335985\/319641\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.ibb.co\/HNmg3Ln\/OIP-48.jpg\" alt=\"OIP-48\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Motivation is the experience of wanting something or wanting to avoid it. When we study how we get motivated to learn, develop,\u00a0\u00a0 and succeed, we can identify two contrary forces: extrinsic and intrinsic ones On the one hand, we want to belong, desire to be loved, and seek to get the attention we think &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/151718\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Societal Expectations and Inner Desires: The Complex Dynamics of Motivation<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":151717,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[137,483],"tags":[56573,4170,517,60450],"class_list":["post-151718","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-animals","category-media","tag-education","tag-learning","tag-science","tag-sprouts"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/htmlF_IMG_6542df9705c80.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151718","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=151718"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151718\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":151736,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151718\/revisions\/151736"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/151717"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=151718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=151718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=151718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}