{"id":150223,"date":"2023-01-16T21:46:23","date_gmt":"2023-01-17T02:46:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/?p=150223"},"modified":"2023-01-17T14:21:20","modified_gmt":"2023-01-17T19:21:20","slug":"anxiety-anxiety-recovery-frequently-asked-questions-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/150223","title":{"rendered":"Anxiety &#038; Anxiety Recovery Frequently Asked Questions \/ Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"jetpack-video-wrapper\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Anxiety &amp; Anxiety Recovery Frequently Asked Questions \/ Part 2\" width=\"660\" height=\"371\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/O8TfiW9buBk?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nDrew Linsalata: on episode 217\r\nof the anxious truth, we’re gonna do 10 More of the most\r\nfrequently asked questions about anxiety and anxiety recovery. So\r\nlet’s get to it Hello, everybody, and welcome back\r\nto the anxious truth. This is podcast episode number 217 to\r\none seven were recorded at the end of July 2022. Welcome, I am\r\nDrew Linsalata, creator and host of the anxious truth. This is\r\nthe podcast that focuses on all things anxiety, anxiety\r\ndisorders, and recovery. So welcome. If you’re new here,\r\nwelcome aboard. If you’re a returning listener, welcome\r\nback. Today we’re going to do part two of our frequently asked\r\nquestions. These are 20 of the most frequently asked questions\r\nabout anxiety and anxiety recovery that I encounter in my\r\nmany years in this community and doing this work that I do.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast\r\nweek in Episode 216, we did the first 10. So go back and listen\r\nto that if you have not. And today in 217, we’re going to do\r\nthe second 10. The show notes for these two episodes are quite\r\ndetailed. So you can find the show notes for this episode at\r\nanxious truth.com\/ 217. And I have included in there all the\r\nlinks to all the other resources and podcast episodes that I’ll\r\ntalk about here. So go to the anxious truth.com\/ 217. And\r\ncheck that out. And while you’re on my website, I would like to\r\nremind you that the anxious truth is more than just this\r\npodcast episode. There are 200, and somewhat other podcast\r\nepisodes as a ton of free social media content.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThere’s my free\r\nmorning newsletter called The anxious mourning. And there is\r\nthree excellent books and anxiety and anxiety recovery\r\nthat I have written that are helping 10s of 1000s of people\r\naround the world. So while you’re on the anxious truth.com,\r\ncheck out all of those resources, they’re good, and most of\r\nthem are free, so go ahead and avail yourself of them. And if\r\nyou are enjoying my work, and it’s helping you in some way,\r\nand you would like to help me keep it free of sponsorships and\r\nadvertising.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAll the ways to do that can be found at the anxious\r\ntruth.com\/support. So check that out. Never required, always\r\nappreciated. So let’s get into part two of our frequently asked\r\nquestions. And we’ll get right into it. We’re going to do 10\r\ntoday. So question one this week is whether recovery is possible, even if\r\nyou’ve suffered for many years. And the answer to that is\r\nsure is this is a short answer. Many, many members of our\r\ncommunity can turn things around even after years of dealing with\r\ndisordered anxiety. For me, it was over 2025 years of my life\r\non and off and three or four major episodes. So yeah, the\r\namount of time that you have suffered with this. I’m not\r\ngonna say it doesn’t matter completely, but it is certainly\r\nnot a reason why you could not get better you can do that. Yes,\r\nyou may build some habits, but at some point, the hole can only\r\nget so deep. And I think that’s what people worry about, like,\r\noh, I keep digging a deeper and deeper hole.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI’ve been digging\r\nfor 20 years. So how am I ever going to crawl out of this hole?\r\nThat’s not the right way to visualize it. I like to say the\r\nhole can only get so deep once you are to the point where\r\nyou’re avoiding everything your housebound or stuck in one room\r\nor you’ve got yourself down to eating only three foods because\r\nyou’re afraid or you know, you’re super restricted there’s,\r\nthere’s only so much restriction you can impose on yourself. So\r\nassume that the hole has gotten as deep as it is ever going\r\nto get. You just start decorating and get comfortable\r\nin that hole. you personalize it, hang artwork like you\r\nput in a stereo system, and listen to your favorite music\r\nwhile you’re there.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo if the hole doesn’t get deeper, you\r\njust get more comfortable in it. That doesn’t matter. You can\r\nturn this around, it doesn’t matter how long you have\r\nsuffered, I promise you can get better. I was 20-plus years, 25\r\nplus years. I know people even longer than that, that have\r\ndealt with this, and one woman over 40 years. And she has\r\nturned things around. She’s well on the way to recovery. So yes.\r\nIn terms of resources, Episode 124 of the anxious truth talks\r\nabout that. So you can go check that out. So question number two\r\ntoday? What if I don’t have panic attacks, and I just feel\r\nanxious all day? So there are two things that I\r\nwant to address in this question. First of all, there’s\r\na misconception that people that have panic attacks are somehow\r\ncalm or not anxious between attacks. And that is 100% not\r\ntrue. Like people with panic disorder, I had panic disorder,\r\nI was anxious all day long, too. So if you’re in that boat, and\r\nyou don’t have panic attacks, the first thing I want you to be\r\naware of is that that’s not necessarily a special condition.\r\nAnd it’s not like people that do have panic attacks, have attacks, and then are calm the rest of the day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt doesn’t work that\r\nway. So don’t feel bad about that. Now, being anxious\r\nall day can be the result of the same mechanism that drives\r\nthings like panic disorder, you can start to learn to be anxious\r\njust because you’re anxious. And the longer this goes on that\r\nbecomes part of the puzzle for a lot of people. Like I’m anxious\r\nall day long. I can’t figure out why. So now I start to become\r\nanxious about being anxious.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThat’s one of those things or\r\nanother reason why you might be anxious all day long. And this\r\nstarts to get into the realm of generalized anxiety or\r\ngeneralized anxiety. disorder. A lot of people that have gad are\r\nanxious all day long, but not everybody that’s continually\r\nanxious has gad. So really God is defined by excessive worry\r\nand focus on external things to the health of your family, your\r\nhealth, doing good at work, not letting people down taking care\r\nof everything being perfect being a people pleaser, like\r\nthose are things where we are trying to control the world to\r\nan excessive degree. And that’s sort of the hallmark of\r\ngeneralized anxiety disorder, it’s based on that sort of\r\nstuff. And then it gets off the rails and gets carried away. So\r\npeople with gad can have a general background anxiety that\r\nlasts all day long too. So there could be that and then you could\r\nalso begin to just be anxious about being anxious because you\r\ncan’t solve the anxiety problem. So it’s not that this is a\r\nspecial thing or it can’t be fixed.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSometimes if you’re\r\nthe in that gad camp, get a look at some of the underlying things\r\nthat go with that. Things like excessive worry, overthinking\r\nover planning, perfectionism, and people-pleasing, are things that can\r\ndrive anxiety state, but that you think could be good\r\nthings about your personality. Gotta look at that. So I talked\r\nabout this in Episode 119. I had Dave Carbonell on and we talked\r\nabout generalized anxiety disorder, and episode 148 of the\r\npodcast covers this. But if you’re anxious all day long, you\r\ndon’t have panic attacks. It’s okay, you can still get better I\r\npromised. So Question three, how can I drive during a panic\r\nattack or anxiety spike, it’s not safe. So this one, I did two\r\npodcast episodes that specifically talked about this\r\nPodcast, episode number 55. podcast episode number 105.\r\nWe’re specifically about driving and driving anxiety. So there’s\r\nan assertion here that people will make that when you are in a\r\nhigh anxiety state or a state of panic, that you\r\nlose control and have no agency anymore.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLike some\r\nexternal force rolls in and possesses you and makes you do\r\nthings or prevents you from doing things. This is a thing\r\nthat you have to start to challenge has that ever been\r\nTrue? Now, you are most certainly afraid you’re very\r\nuncomfortable. But the choices that we make in those moments in\r\nan attempt to alleviate that fear and escape from the\r\ndiscomfort are not involuntary.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo, when talking about whether is it\r\nsafe to drive during a panic attack, you have to realize\r\nthat, yes, a rapid heartbeat during panic is involuntary, you\r\ncan’t control that, and yes, maybe feeling a little short of breath\r\nis involuntary. Yes, feeling nauseous is involuntary. Feeling\r\na little depersonalized is involuntary. That’s all true.\r\nBut the things that we do to add fuel to that fear, fire, omg\r\nomg, calling for help trying desperately to get to a safe\r\nplace trying to run away from it. Those are voluntary. Those\r\nare choices that we make.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo you can’t control how you’re going\r\nto feel. But we do have some agency in what we do about that.\r\nAnd you have to realize that the uncontrollable feeling or the\r\nidea that you will completely lose control of your\r\nmind and your body or that you do lose control of your mind and\r\nbody is you know what you’re doing, and you know what\r\nthat activity looks like, and you’re calling that\r\nuncontrollable. But really, we do have choices, we are making\r\nchoices to do those things. So it’s important to consider that\r\nbecause that sort of challenges the narrative that says it’s not\r\nsafe to drive because I lose control. Well, no, you choose to\r\nhelp to fuel a frantic state in your frantic effort to try and\r\nget away from the fear. But there is a choice there. And\r\nthere’s an agency that’s important when you’re talking\r\nabout driving. And I would urge you to consider another thing.\r\nAnd that is all the times that you have been anxious behind the\r\nwheel or experienced full-blown panic behind the wheel, and you\r\nhave run home with that car or pulled over immediately or got\r\noff the highway or the motorway.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn all of those situations, you\r\nare surprisingly adept at maneuvering your vehicle, even\r\nthough you’re insisting that you can’t and you must stop\r\nmaneuvering the vehicle. So sometimes we have to insert a\r\nlittle bit of objectivity here, take two steps backward\r\nfrom that emotional reaction of oh my god, I’m out of control.\r\nIt’s horrible. And look at the facts like, Am I out of\r\ncontrol? Or am I just worried that I will be and have I ever\r\neven shown any sign of being unable to control my vehicle?\r\nNow, I’m not saying that driving with a panic attack is\r\ncomfortable or easy in any way, shape, or form and it’s okay to\r\npull over and let it pass.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt’s okay. But you got to\r\nstart to challenge that narrative. But in the end,\r\nyou’re the only ones that get you’re the only one that gets to\r\ndecide whether you should drive or not. I can’t tell you Yes, go\r\nahead and drive. I can tell you to start to really try and think\r\nobjectively about the way you’re evaluating that. And let reality\r\nbe a bit of a guide.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nBut I cannot tell you now, go ahead\r\nand drive you only you can determine that. Again, take a\r\nlisten to podcast episodes, 55 and 105. And maybe those\r\nwill help. So let’s go on to our next question. Question five.\r\nWhat if you have a real medical condition? Okay. This is\r\nunfortunately, common human beings have medical conditions\r\nall the time. More than one thing can be true at a time. So\r\nwhen this happens, you have to remember that you have an actual\r\nmedical or health issue and can also be caught in the\r\ngrips caught in the grips of disorder and anxiety, those two\r\nthings will get glued together, and you will stick them together\r\nand think that they are one big giant ball of fear. But really,\r\nthey are not. So there are two things in the face of a health\r\nchallenge or a medical condition, that medical\r\nthe condition can cause actual restrictions, lifestyle\r\nrestrictions, but it can also cause fear, uncertainty,\r\nvulnerability, anxiety, worry, and normal things like human beings\r\nthat are having health problems will normally experience those\r\nstates.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nBut then there’s the extra state on top of that. So\r\nthat’s the medical condition itself and the normal human\r\nreaction to that. And then there’s the disordered part that\r\ncomes on top of that, which is now I am going to excessively\r\nworry beyond what is helpful about my health\r\ncondition. I’m going to try to make predictions, I’m going to\r\nwrite giant horror stories and screenplays in my head about\r\nwhat might happen even though it’s not happening.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow. I’m\r\ngoing to ruminate and worry and ruminate, and worry and research\r\nand Google, and I’m going to try to solve this problem in my\r\nhead. But you can’t, that’s the part that you don’t have to do\r\nthat part is not required, that part is not helping you\r\nin any way. It’s kind of hurting you in terms of\r\nmental health. Right? So you have to recognize there are two\r\nthings, oh, I’m worried right now, I’m concerned, I’m afraid I\r\nfeel uncertain and vulnerable because of this medical\r\ncondition. Okay, that’s okay. And that sucks. And my heart\r\ngoes out to you. But that’s part of being human. But the part\r\nwhere you latch on to it and spend 24 hours a day, every\r\nwaking moment trying to solve this problem and writing stories\r\nabout it in your head that’s not needed, then in many cases, your\r\nanxiety level goes up, because you’re doing that, and then\r\nyou’re anxious because you’re anxious.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo it’s important to\r\nstep back again, try to insert a little objectivity, and say, Oh,\r\nI see what’s going on here. I don’t have to say, Well, I have\r\na health condition, and it sends my anxiety through the roof. No,\r\nI have a health condition. And that makes me feel certain\r\nthings. And then I am adding on top of that with some of the\r\nhabits that I think are safety or protection for me. And I can\r\nrecognize that and begin to tease that apart and start to\r\nwork on those other habits. So that’s my answer to what if I\r\nhave a real medical condition, people will often say like,\r\nwell, I have a real medical condition. So all bets are off\r\nto bed like I’m going to have to be an anxious mess. No,\r\nthat’s not true. Now I did an episode of the podcast with my\r\nfriend Jessica Seidner. Jessica doesn’t have anxiety disorders,\r\nlike, as we are aware. But we did a great episode together,\r\nwhere she talked about having to deal with the increased anxiety\r\nof breast cancer diagnosis, which came right on the heels of\r\nlosing her husband.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo she had a lot going on with her medical condition\r\nand a huge life loss. And her anxiety went up because it\r\nnormally did. And we talked about how she had to work\r\nthrough that which might be helpful. I also did an Instagram\r\nlive on this topic, probably a year and a half or two years\r\nago. So again, if you go to the show notes for this episode, the\r\nanxious truth.com\/ 217.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUnder this question, you’ll see that\r\nlink to Instagram. So next question, we are on to question\r\nnumber 6789 10. Okay, so the question, I think five or six,\r\nhow do you accept anxiety or surrender to it? So this is a\r\nquestion I get every day. And this question is really like\r\nother statements in code? This question is really, it’s\r\nsuper scary to surrender. So please tell me how to do it\r\nwithout being afraid or uncomfortable. Right? So there\r\nis no way to do this without being afraid or uncomfortable.\r\nAnd I know that’s a glib answer, a brutal answer. It’s it sounds\r\nlike a cold answer. But we need to confront these things. It\r\ndoesn’t help us to try desperately to make it easier or\r\nfluffy, or it doesn’t work that way.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo you also have to\r\nrecognize that when you ask the question, but how am I supposed\r\nto accept this or surrender to it? What you’re doing is\r\ninsisting that you must continue to resist it. But why? Why do\r\nyou think you have to continue to resist it? So if you are in\r\nthis camp right now, where you want to keep asking, but I don’t\r\nunderstand how I’m supposed to surrender, or how I’m supposed\r\nto accept it. What you’re telling me is number one, I\r\ndon’t want to be afraid, which I understand I’m not picking on\r\nyou for that nobody wants to be afraid. And number two, no, no,\r\nno, I How am I supposed to I can’t if I drop all this\r\nresistance, then it’s going to come and get me? And my answer\r\nis yes. Correct. So how can I accept or surrender is an\r\ninsistence that you’re not supposed to accept or surrender\r\nbecause you have to continue to fight it and resist it? Because\r\nif you don’t, you won’t be safe.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd if you want one big step\r\nthat you can take toward acceptance and surrender, is to\r\nface the harsh, brutal, cold reality that all the things\r\nthat you are doing to resist it, stop it, make it go away. All\r\nyour rituals and safety behaviors and escape behaviors\r\nare doing nothing. Don’t leave a big pregnant\r\npause. They’re lit doing nothing, no amount of tapping\r\nyour cheeks sniffing oils, drinking cold water popping\r\nmen’s calling for help snapping rubber bands, chanting, counting\r\nbackward from 100. None of those things is doing\r\nanything because that danger has never actually existed. So in\r\nterms of how can I accept and surrender, I will say if I\r\nwalked up to you and said, I am so tired from having to hold up\r\nthe moon all the time, but I can’t stop holding up the moon\r\nor it will fall to the ground, you would look at me and say,\r\nno, no, you can stop holding up the moon, because you’ve never\r\nbeen holding up the moon, it doesn’t fall to the\r\nground, it’s okay, you can let go.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe same thing applies here. So\r\nthe thought that you can’t possibly accept anxiety or\r\nsurrender it and by the way, acceptance doesn’t mean liking\r\nit, do not get confused, you can still hate it, and you can still\r\nwant it to not happen. That’s all normal and you can’t control\r\nthat’s human, you’re allowed to be human. Accepting doesn’t mean\r\nliking it. But accepting and surrendering means you will drop\r\nall of those safety behaviors, all of those resisting\r\nbehaviors, because you must face the realization that they are\r\ndoing nothing, they have no impact on your safety at\r\nall.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/images.pexels.com\/photos\/3326738\/pexels-photo-3326738.jpeg?auto=compress&amp;cs=tinysrgb&amp;h=650&amp;w=940\" \/>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThey’re just designed to make you feel different. But\r\nfeeling different isn’t safer at all, because you’re never in\r\nactual danger from feeling anxious. Right? So you’re gonna\r\nhave to confront the reality behind that question. But how am\r\nDid I suppose to surrender or accept? Well, look what those\r\nquestions mean. So next question is, what exposures can\r\nI do get ready for dot dot dot, pick an event, a wedding, a\r\nconcert, a family vacation, something. And so in the end,\r\nthis is a simpler answer. You have to remember what exposures\r\nare therefore, people think, or they get confused. And they\r\nthink, Well, I’m learning to drive on the highway. Again, I’m\r\nlearning to go shopping, I’m learning to stay home alone.\r\nAgain, you’re not learning to do anything. The\r\nonly thing that you’re learning to do, which is portable across\r\nsituations and challenges, and context is learning how to\r\nget better at experiencing anxiety and fear.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo we only do\r\nexposures, do specific things like drive go for a walk or\r\nstay home alone or eat food that you’re afraid of. So that\r\nit will trigger that anxiety, we were intentionally triggering\r\nanxiety, fear, uncomfort, discomfort, uncertainty, all of\r\nthose things were intentionally triggering them so that you can\r\npractice feeling them and moving through them in a new way, a\r\nthe more productive way that ultimately teaches you that you\r\ndon’t have to save yourself from them. So if the exposure is not\r\nto the event, the task, or the place where the food or\r\nwhatever the exposure is to the feelings, then every exposure is\r\nan exposure that works for other things.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRight? So if you’re\r\ngetting ready to go to, for instance, you’re going to a\r\nconcert all you got tickets to a concert, how can I expose myself\r\nto that? I mean, yes, can you do things that sort of mimic a\r\nconcert? Yeah, that doesn’t hurt in any way. But remember, you’re\r\nonly you’re not afraid of the concert, you’re afraid of how\r\nyou will feel at the concert. So if you want to take a cruise\r\naround the world get better at staying home alone for two\r\nhours. That’s what I tell people all the time. If you want to go\r\nback to work, then get better at walking around your block.\r\nBecause you’re really in the end, you’re learning a new way\r\nto relate to anxiety across all contexts. And if you can\r\nadopt this, then you don’t have to worry about specific\r\nexposures for every single thing you might have to do in your\r\nlife, life gets a lot simpler that way.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd your recovery\r\nstarts to become a little wider and more durable. So it’s really\r\nimportant, like think about that. I’m only doing these\r\nthings because they trigger my anxiety, the anxiety, fear,\r\nthat’s the exposure, not the task or the place. So let’s move on to the question.\r\nYou know, in 10. I know which one I want to take, we’re on\r\nseven right now. This question is what does this method work if\r\nI have trauma too. So first of all, I always have to say this\r\nis not a method like I’m not teaching them. This isn’t the\r\ndrew method. It’s not my method. I didn’t invent any\r\nof this. These are just the principles of a cognitive\r\nbehavioral approach to anxiety disorders. So there are\r\nparallels between anxiety disorder, recovery, and trauma\r\nresolution, that’s 100% True, a lot of things will look the\r\nsame.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you’re working with a trauma resolution specialist,\r\nsome of the things that you would hear would sound a lot\r\nlike the things that I talked about, but they’re not\r\nthe same. And the issue here is, let’s assume that you do have a\r\ntraumatic background and you’ve experienced some traumatic\r\nevents in your life. And maybe that that trauma did spawn your\r\nanxiety disorder that can happen. But then what I always\r\nsay is that one problem, the trauma has now become two\r\nproblems. You have trauma and an anxiety disorder. Right? So you\r\nhave to realize that it doesn’t mean that the anxiety disorder\r\ndoesn’t count because it’s only the trauma if you had one\r\nproblem now you have to That’s okay though, don’t freak out.\r\nYou can successfully deal with both of those issues. A lot of\r\npeople do, right? A lot of people do that work on both\r\nfronts. But traumatic experiences do not mean that the\r\nanxiety disorder doesn’t count, so some people are under\r\nthe assumption that like, well, this all sounds good, but\r\nI have trauma.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo what you’re saying doesn’t apply to me.\r\nOkay, you may have trauma, and I’m very sorry for the things\r\nthat you’ve lived through. That’s possible. But in the end,\r\nif you will have learned to be afraid of your heartbeat, or\r\nyour breath or you have learned to be afraid of, you\r\nknow, depersonalization or jelly legs, and you refuse to go out\r\nof the house, or you are convinced that you have some\r\nsort of health problem, and you will only eat foods as a\r\nresult. Maybe some trauma spawned that, but\r\nBut knowing about that trauma doesn’t help you become less\r\nafraid of your heartbeat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow you’re afraid of multiple\r\nthings. So maybe you are having, you know, you’re afraid of the\r\nexperience. But now you’re also afraid of yourself. So you\r\nhave to do both things. But of them, if two\r\nproblems, you can solve them both. So traumatic experience\r\ncan be a roadblock 100% to executing the recovery plan that\r\nwe’re always talking about here. It’s 100% true if you have\r\nlived experiences that teach you that you are always unsafe, the\r\nworld is dangerous, you are weak, you’re not capable, you’re\r\nstupid, and you’re not worthy of being better. trauma can do that\r\nto you. And if you have those beliefs about yourself, because\r\nof your past experiences, that can 100% present a roadblock to\r\ndoing the work that I was talking about, have to\r\nacknowledge that and I always will always well never going to\r\ninvalidate that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo in that situation, you’re going to have\r\nto work on that too, right? You’ll have to work on that.\r\nIt’s kind of hard. And this is different for everybody, right?\r\nThere’s no set answer to this on the other side. So in that\r\nsituation, you may find you have to do a little bit of work on\r\nyourself before you can effectively do this recovery\r\nwork that I’m talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSome other people find\r\nthat their anxiety disorder is so bad, that they’re so wracked\r\nwith panic and irrational fear that they can’t do the\r\ntrauma work until they put out this fire. So some people have\r\nto do this first and then go back to the past and do that\r\nwork. Some people can do it at the same time. It’s individual,\r\nit depends. So there’s no set answer to this. But I can\r\ntell you that you can recover from both trauma and\r\nanxiety.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd the things that I’m writing about which are\r\ngeared toward anxiety recovery can be effective while\r\nyou do that. It’s just a very individual situation. But please\r\ndon’t feel that since you have lived the traumatic background,\r\nyou can’t get better. That’s not true. That’s not fair. And I\r\nunderstand why you might think that but it’s not true. You\r\ncan get better. It’s not easy. But there’s hope for you\r\ntoo, I promise. So last few questions. This is a really\r\ncommon one I’m accepting, why am I still anxious? So I might\r\nargue that if you are asking why you’re still anxious, then\r\nyou’re not accepting. We can’t qualify for our acceptance.\r\nI’m accepting. I’m accepting this, but I also want it gone.\r\nWell, you can’t have both of those things. Think about that\r\nfor a second. I know it sounds a little bit glib and a little\r\nsilly.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nBut think about it. There’s truth in there. I’m\r\naccepting this, but I also don’t want to accept it, and I’m not\r\naccepting it. I know you want your anxiety to go away,\r\nbut accepting and doing all the things we talked about. It’s not\r\na recipe for banishing it, right? If that’s why you’re\r\ndoing this like you are hoping that if you do the Claire weeks\r\nacceptance or the Dru surrender, or the Josh Fletcher willful\r\ntolerance, if I do this, then it will stop. You’re trying to skip\r\nthe part where you have to experience the anxiety and use\r\nit as a classroom.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt’s super important. So if you’re trying\r\nto skip that, and you’re just hoping that okay, I except, wait\r\na minute, how come it hasn’t gone away? You’re missing the\r\nwhole process. And you’re going to wind up disappointed,\r\nfrustrated, and do and ask this question I don’t\r\nunderstand. I’m accepting why isn’t gone away. So\r\nexpectations are important. Understanding the concepts of\r\nrecovery. Why are you accepting that is that the whole thing? Or is\r\nit just part of it? That’s important, aiming at the right\r\ntarget is important. So in this situation, I did episode 192 of\r\nthe podcast, which is linked in the show notes here, go listen\r\nto that, that will probably help you. And this is related to\r\nquestion number nine, which is, I’m doing my exposures.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nBut it’s\r\nnot working. This is what you think you’re doing. I’m doing\r\nall the things I’m doing exposures but not working. Why?\r\nAnd there are a couple of common explanations for this. Number\r\none would be we’ll ask you a couple of questions. And this is\r\nright at the show notes. Are you trying to do exposures without\r\nbeing too afraid? Are you trying to do your exposures without\r\ntriggering high anxiety or panic? Are you only doing\r\nexposures now and then when you’re forced to or when you’re\r\nhaving a good day? Are you doing exposures while also using all\r\nof your soothing and coping tools to calm you down if it\r\ngets uncomfortable? These are all red flags as to why exposure\r\nmight not be working.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo remember what I said a couple of\r\nquestions before the point of exposure are not doing the\r\ntask. The point of the exposure is experiencing the fear the\r\nanxiety, the discomfort you want that you need that if you’re\r\ntrying to find ways to do your exposure tasks without feeling\r\nthat or minimizing it or soothing or calming it or making\r\nit’s easier Don’t do the exposure, there’s no point in it. Because\r\nyou’re not, you’re not learning to drive again, you’re learning\r\nhow to get better at experiencing anxiety. So this is one of the\r\nmain reasons why people will say my exposures aren’t working\r\nwell, okay, but you’re not doing exposure, in some\r\ncases, for a common mistake. The other thing would be that you\r\nknow, that you’re supposed to experience that experience,\r\npanic, but you are still hanging on to those who escape\r\nbehaviors and those rituals.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo some people get close to like\r\nreal exposure, I would say real exposure, but most effective\r\nexposure, but they still hang on to like, well, there’s a line\r\nthat I just can’t cross with anxiety and panic. And when I\r\nget close to that line, I will break out all of my copings\r\nskills. And I will break out my, safety skills and my make it\r\ngo away skills. And that’s the response prevention part. So\r\nwe’ve talked about exposure and response prevention, ERP, which\r\nis very commonly used in the OCD community, you hear ERP in that\r\ncommunity all the time, but even for all of the\r\nanxiety disorders. Exposure is always ERP. So doing the things,\r\nyou’re doing the things, you’re intentionally triggering this\r\ncomfort, and you’re doing that without using your old\r\nresponses, your safety responses, and soothing responses, you’re\r\npreventing those responses.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo one of the reasons why\r\nanother key reason why exposure might not be working air quotes\r\nfor you is first of all, what does working mean? It doesn’t\r\nmean to make it go away. Remember, it means teaching you how to get\r\nbetter at being anxious. But why do you think it’s not working?\r\nWell, one of the reasons is doing the exposure without doing\r\nthe response prevention. I’m out there driving on the highway,\r\nbut I’ve got my mints and my cold water and I got my radio\r\non, I’m calling and I’m talking to my friend or I bring my\r\nhusband or my girlfriend with me that that’s one good reason why\r\nit might not be working. Right. So if you go to\r\nanxious truth.com and just search for the word exposure,\r\nyou’ll see quite a few podcast episodes where we talked about\r\nthis in more detail. And then question 10 Final question for\r\nthe day. This is a big one. How do I deal with a setback? So\r\nthis is a such question I hear every single day and I the\r\nword setback, I almost want to be stricken from the vocabulary.\r\nMany times when people are in the recovery process, they\r\nfeel like they’re doing great because they’re not experiencing\r\nanxiety or panic.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLike they’re feeling good. That’s, that’s\r\nawesome. We want everybody to feel good. I want you to feel\r\ngood to write, I want you to have good days. We all want to\r\nhave good days. Everybody deserves a good day. So when you\r\nstart to string good days together, and you’re feeling\r\npretty good. And it’s been a while since you had a panic\r\nattack, or it’s been a while since you had those scary\r\nthoughts or it’s been a while since you’ve had an\r\nanxious day and then you have an anxious day or the thoughts come\r\nback or you have a big panic attack one night. A lot of\r\npeople will say up, it’s a setback. That’s not a setback.\r\nThat’s not a setback, right? If the core principle of\r\nrecovery, is to learn that anxiety and panic are not\r\nemergencies, then how is feeling that a setback, it’s no longer\r\nan emergency, you are trying to learn that it’s not an\r\nemergency, we do not declare it a special event.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWe don’t\r\nretreat from it. So setback is usually a red flag word and it\r\nindicates that you’re still insisting that the only\r\nsuccessful recovery is one year where you will never feel\r\nanxious or panicky ever again. And if you’re trying to recover\r\nto that degree, where you never you can guarantee that you never\r\npanic or ever have another scary thought in your life.\r\nYou’re going to be disappointed and frustrated. So\r\nsetback is not feeling things. If you haven’t felt anxious for\r\ntwo weeks, and then today you feel anxious. Well, your job\r\ntoday is to move through those feelings and practice being\r\nbetter at being anxious. That’s not a setback. That’s just life\r\nhappening. And that’s an opportunity to get even better.\r\nLike we want it we get to the end of the road to recovery\r\nwhen we don’t care if we’re anxious or not. And I know that\r\nif you’re in the thick of it right now you are thinking that\r\nis an insane statement.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nBut that is truly where you are headed\r\nwith this. That is when the war is over. So if every time you\r\nexperience anxiety, you yell setback and want to know what to do\r\nI do with a setback? You’re kind of missing the point and you’re\r\nnot being fair to yourself. Okay, so the only true thing\r\nthat I might call setback is setback is also really what\r\nhappens when we say up all bets are off and I’m going to return\r\nto my old rituals.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI’m gonna go back to my figuring it out\r\ntrying to fight it trying to resist it hiding from it. Going\r\nback to my compulsive. My compulsions, like that, might be\r\nsetbacks. Yes, if you start to revert to those old habits, I’ll\r\ncall that a setback with you. But how you feel and what you\r\nthink is not the setback. But even if you do start to revert\r\nto those old habits as soon as you waive the setback flag and\r\none piece of advice just remember, oh wait, I have to start doing what I was\r\ndoing before. No problem that happens to everybody move\r\nforward again. So if anxiety returns after some time, right\r\nat the show notes here your job is not to wring your hands\r\nand try to figure out why and how to stop it and declare\r\na disaster.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYour job is to surf through it, move through it\r\nlike you presumably did as part of the progress that you said\r\nyou had made. So I did do an episode on this early on in 2015\r\nof the podcast, episode 14 talks about the nonlinear nature\r\nof recovery and goes over setbacks. But I know setback is\r\na thing that we talk about all the time in this community.\r\nHopefully, this helps. And that is it. Those are our second 10\r\nfrequently asked questions about anxiety and anxiety recovery. We\r\nare done with episode 217. If you have not heard to 16 go\r\nahead and listen, because those are the first 10 questions you\r\nknow, we’re done because he told me that music. Anyway, I will\r\npay you out as usual. Afterglow by Ben Drake, you can\r\nfind Ben and his music ed Ben Drake music.com Go check them\r\nout and tell him I said hi, I will ask you a favor. If you’re\r\nlistening to the podcast on iTunes on Apple podcasts or\r\nSpotify or some platform that lets you rate and review.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nPlease\r\nleave a five-star rating and maybe take a second to write a\r\nreview because it helps other people find the podcast. If\r\nyou’re listening on YouTube. Sorry, there’s no video this\r\nweek. But if you’re listening on YouTube, Like the video,\r\nsubscribe to the channel, and leave a comment. You know the deal. I\r\nappreciate you guys coming by all the time spending time with\r\nme giving me your attention. Hopefully, I’m able to help you.\r\nI’m doing the best I can. I’m hoping it’s working out for you.\r\nI’ll be back next week. We’re gonna do it again. I don’t know\r\nwhat I’m gonna be talking about. But I will be here. And as\r\nalways remember, this is the way Unknown: this is where your\r\nstory begins. You got the feeling that you go yeah, you’re\r\ndoing fine. Now in the city, you live fast. No looking back on\r\nthe past. Never get another chance.\r\n\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=O8TfiW9buBk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">As found on YouTube<\/a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/3be35e-jxxlr2y0zm03m5u6vcl.hop.clickbank.net\">Animated Video Maker – Create Amazing Explainer Videos | VidToon™ #1 Top Video Animation Software To Make Explainer, Marketing, Animated Videos Online It\u2019s EASIER, PRODUCTIVE, FASTER Get Commercial Rights INCLUDED when you act NOW Get Vidtoon™<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Drew Linsalata: on episode 217 of the anxious truth, we’re gonna do 10 More of the most frequently asked questions about anxiety and anxiety recovery. So let’s get to it Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the anxious truth. This is podcast episode number 217 to one seven were recorded at the end of &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/150223\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Anxiety &#038; Anxiety Recovery Frequently Asked Questions \/ Part 2<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":150222,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[39894,59877,696,16121,37008,37608,41115,16130,52548,59882,52626,52520,23,41080,33777,59880],"class_list":["post-150223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reducing-triggers","tag-agoraphobia","tag-agoraphobia-help","tag-anxiety","tag-anxiety-disorder","tag-anxiety-disorders","tag-anxiety-help","tag-anxiety-recovery","tag-anxiety-tips","tag-claire-weekes","tag-drew-linsalata","tag-help-with-panic-attacks","tag-how-to-stop-a-panic-attack","tag-panic-attack","tag-panic-attack-help","tag-panic-attacks","tag-the-anxious-truth"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/htmlF_IMG_63c59614455f3.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=150223"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150223\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":150236,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150223\/revisions\/150236"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/150222"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=150223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=150223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=150223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}