{"id":146761,"date":"2021-08-26T21:32:34","date_gmt":"2021-08-26T21:32:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/146761"},"modified":"2021-08-26T21:32:34","modified_gmt":"2021-08-26T21:32:34","slug":"calming-anxiety-with-your-bodys-built-in-anti-anxiety-response-11-30","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/146761","title":{"rendered":"Calming Anxiety With Your Body\u2019s Built-in Anti-Anxiety Response 11\/30"},"content":{"rendered":"I once read a story about a woman who adopted a\u00a0\nstray dog that she found wandering the highway. He\u00a0\u00a0 was a sweet mutt. He was good with kids, he was\u00a0\nwell behaved, and he didn't make messes in the\u00a0\u00a0 house. The only downside was that every time\u00a0\nthey got into the car he would get worked up\u00a0\u00a0 into a tizzy, he would run back and forth across\u00a0\nthe back seat frantically panting with anxiety,\u00a0\u00a0 and if that wasn't bad enough he would then\u00a0\nthrow up all over the back seat. This happened\u00a0\u00a0 every time they got into the car. Now you can\u00a0\nimagine the dog owner was about at her wit's end. \u00a0\u00a0 In desperation she decided to take\u00a0\nthe dog to a trainer and ask for help. \u00a0\u00a0 The trainer taught the woman to teach the dog to\u00a0\nbe calm by having the dog lay down in the car.

She\u00a0\u00a0 explained that when the dog's body is in a calm\u00a0\nposition it sends messages to the brain that he's\u00a0\u00a0 safe and triggers him to relax. The woman started\u00a0\nworking with the dog every day putting him in the\u00a0\u00a0 car, gently making him lay down, and before long\u00a0\nhe stopped throwing up in her car. Problem solved.\u00a0\u00a0 In previous videos in this course we learned\u00a0\nthat our emotional reactions are much deeper\u00a0\u00a0 than our thoughts, they show up in the body and are\u00a0\npowered by the fight-flight-freeze response in our\u00a0\u00a0 limbic system. Now we're going to talk about\u00a0\nhow to soothe anxiety in your nervous system\u00a0\u00a0 through the skill of self-regulation. Basically\u00a0\nthis means calming down your nervous system\u00a0\u00a0 and creating the physiological response\u00a0\nof feeling safe when we are actually safe. \u00a0\u00a0 This video is sponsored by Take 2 Minutes. Take\u00a02 Minutes is a non-profit dedicated to helping\u00a0\u00a0 improve your happiness. They use text messages to\u00a0\nsend you a positive message every day and you can\u00a0\u00a0 just text them to get sent a custom activity\u00a0\ndesigned to help improve your mental health. \u00a0\u00a0 They have guided meditations, an easy gratitude\u00a0\njournal, and some great resources to help with\u00a0\u00a0 anxiety, sleep, and improve your mental health.

\u00a0\nTheir service is free. Sign up now. Just go to their\u00a0\u00a0 website at take2minutes.org, or text the number on\u00a0\nthe screen to start getting positive messages and\u00a0\u00a0 activities today. Is it possible to have an anxiety\u00a0\ndisorder or ptsd if your body is calm? I've worked\u00a0\u00a0 with many professional trauma educators who say\u00a0\nthat you cannot have ptsd or anxiety disorders\u00a0\u00a0 in a relaxed body. Anxiety and ptsd are the\u00a0\noutward symptoms of having your nervous system\u00a0\u00a0 stuck in high alert, when when your amygdala is\u00a0\nsending the message that you're in danger and\u00a0\u00a0 it's triggering that fight-flight-freeze response. \u00a0\nSo this is why anxiety is something that you feel\u00a0\u00a0 in your stomach, or ptsd locks you into hyper\u00a0\nvigilance, you know, jumping at the slightest\u00a0\u00a0 threat. This is because your nervous system gets\u00a0\nstuck in that sympathetic response. People often\u00a0\u00a0 feel helpless to change their stress response\u00a0\nand it can feel impossible because this\u00a0\u00a0 fight-flight-freeze response is an autonomic\u00a0\nreaction, but we have more influence than we\u00a0\u00a0 realize.

So for example, when stressed, our muscles\u00a0\nget tense without us consciously thinking about it,\u00a0\u00a0 however, we can control our muscles when we think\u00a0\nabout it, or when we feel nervous, our breathing\u00a0\u00a0 gets shorter and shallower, but if we consciously\u00a0\ntake a deep breath, we can slow down our breathing. \u00a0\u00a0 These are two autonomic reactions that we can\u00a0\ninfluence. We can change how stressed our body\u00a0\u00a0 feels by doing simple techniques. The coolest\u00a0\nthing about this is not only does your brain\u00a0\u00a0 send a message to your body about whether to be\u00a0\nstressed or calm, but your body sends a message\u00a0\u00a0 to your brain about whether to be stressed or\u00a0\nwhether to be calm. So when we choose to breathe\u00a0\u00a0 deeply or slowly, we choose to turn on that\u00a0\nparasympathetic response, which fosters calm.

\u00a0\u00a0 So in this video I'm going to teach you a half\u00a0\ndozen ways to regulate your nervous system\u00a0\u00a0 and turn on that parasympathetic response. When\u00a0\nyou practice this, you can transform your nervous\u00a0\u00a0 system from being dominated by the stress response\u00a0\nto being dominated by the rest and digest response. \u00a0\u00a0 Now a quick side note, many people are familiar\u00a0\nwith relaxation skills. With relaxation skills\u00a0\u00a0 we stop doing a task, we step away, and we engage\u00a0\nin an activity that takes a lot of our attention. \u00a0\u00a0 So for example, watching tv right? Relaxation skills\u00a0\nreally are important, but again they are hard to\u00a0\u00a0 practice daily, I mean the healthy ones are hard\u00a0\nto practice daily, obviously watching tv is really\u00a0\u00a0 easy, but um they can be a form of avoidance that\u00a0\nleads to problems in the future. So we sometimes\u00a0\u00a0 have this idea that if we're working, we also have\u00a0\nto be stressed right? If we're working- we have to\u00a0\u00a0 be stressed- these are fused, and that the\u00a0\nonly way to be relaxed is to be away from work. \u00a0\u00a0 Seeing a situation this way creates a dependence\u00a0\non avoidance and if you remember back in section\u00a0\u00a0 4, avoidance makes us anxious.

When we think of\u00a0\nsituations as the cause of our stress, we create\u00a0\u00a0 helplessness around our stress levels. So if you\u00a0\nhave the belief that 'I'm stressed because of my\u00a0\u00a0 job', then you may feel like the only way to escape\u00a0\nthat stress is to quit your job or just grate your\u00a0\u00a0 way through it. Now there's another way to think\u00a0\nand act, we can train our minds and our bodies\u00a0\u00a0 to separate the situation from the response. So let\u00a0\nme give you an example, if instead you recognize-\u00a0\u00a0 'I'm stressed because I constantly believe that I'm\u00a0\nin danger when I get feedback at my job', this can\u00a0\u00a0 help you reduce that stress response at work. Now\u00a0\nwe're going to talk a lot more about this, this way\u00a0\u00a0 we think about danger, in the sections on Perceived\u00a0\nDanger and Creating Safety, but when we acknowledge\u00a0\u00a0 that it's the belief that we're in danger, when\u00a0\nwe're actually safe, that's making us anxious, then\u00a0\u00a0 that opens up a little space to change how you see\u00a0\nyour job.

So if you have a massive stress response\u00a0\u00a0 in the face of your job evaluation, you could\u00a0\nchange your thinking by reminding yourself-\u00a0\u00a0 'this is not a threat to my physical safety,\u00a0\nI don't need to fight off a tiger right now,\u00a0\u00a0 I'm safe.' So in this way, relaxation skills can\u00a0\nsometimes backfire, they're helpful and important,\u00a0\u00a0 but self-regulation skills are things we can\u00a0\ndo while we're still at work and while we're\u00a0\u00a0 changing our thinking right? Unlike relaxation\u00a0\nskills, self-regulation skills are things we do\u00a0\u00a0 while performing a task to keep our nervous system\u00a0\nbalanced. We can practice them throughout the day\u00a0\u00a0 and while doing almost any activity. They keep our\u00a0\nnervous system calm while active, and they decrease\u00a0\u00a0 stress and exhaustion. So basically the goal of\u00a0\nself-regulation is to pair the type of thinking\u00a0\u00a0 that says 'I am safe right now', with a relaxed\u00a0\nbody which keeps us calm, clear-headed, and focused. \u00a0\u00a0 So when we're calm, we're better able to make\u00a0\nvalue-based decisions instead of being reactive,\u00a0\u00a0 and practicing this creates relaxed vigilance.

Let\u00a0\nme tell you a story about how I learned this right. \u00a0\u00a0 I used to work at a treatment center for teenage\u00a0\ngirls. I really liked the job, it was very rewarding,\u00a0\u00a0 but for me it was also really stressful. Each of\u00a0\nthese girls faced many challenges and I cared a\u00a0\u00a0 lot about them. I always wanted to do my very best\u00a0\nto help them. One of the most stressful parts of my\u00a0\u00a0 job was parent weekends, when the parents of these\u00a0\ngirls would fly out and visit for three days and\u00a0\u00a0 we would cram as many individual family and group\u00a0\ntherapy sessions into the weekend as was humanly\u00a0\u00a0 possible.

For my first two years working there\u00a0\nthese weekends were times where at work I felt\u00a0\u00a0 like I was sprinting right, I didn't sleep well, I\u00a0\nwas high strung, I was stressed out, I was trying to\u00a0\u00a0 almost frantically cram as much intensity into\u00a0\nmy day as possible. I didn't know any other\u00a0\u00a0 way. I thought that in order to perform under\u00a0\npressure, I had to be worked up and wound tight. \u00a0\u00a0 That if I cared about my work it was natural\u00a0\nthat I was going to be stressed and that the only\u00a0\u00a0 alternative was to choose a job that was boring or\u00a0\nnot important.

I really didn't know any other way. \u00a0\u00a0 So I just kept going through this like stress\u00a0\nand exhaustion cycle. Then one January, I attended\u00a0\u00a0 a conference on treating trauma that changed my\u00a0\nperspective. Using many of the activities that I'm\u00a0\u00a0 going to teach you in this chapter, the facilitator\u00a0\ntrained us to foster a calm body while engaging\u00a0\u00a0 in an intense activity.

As I practiced these\u00a0\nskills, I developed the ability to facilitate\u00a0\u00a0 a parent weekend without having to be completely\u00a0\nstressed out. I still cared, I still brought my\u00a0\u00a0 A-game, and I was excited to be there, and we\u00a0\nstill did a million sessions in a weekend,\u00a0\u00a0 but by monitoring and relaxing my body's stress\u00a0\nresponse, I was able to stay more regulated in\u00a0\u00a0 my body, I was able to think more clearly, and I was\u00a0\nable to go home at the end of the day feeling more\u00a0\u00a0 energetic and less exhausted. It was still hard\u00a0\nwork, but it became enjoyable and sustainable again.

\u00a0\u00a0 The ability to be busy, engaged, even vigilant,\u00a0\nwithout our nervous system freaking out, is a\u00a0\u00a0 skill that can be learned. Eric Gentry, who trained\u00a0\nme in this, he trains ER doctors and Policemen and\u00a0\u00a0 Special Ops and Soldiers with ptsd, and he teaches\u00a0\nthem how to be active, how to actually create\u00a0\u00a0 safety, this experience, this felt sense of safety,\u00a0\neven in genuinely life-threatening experiences. \u00a0\u00a0 How to do it without being\u00a0\ndominated by the stress response? \u00a0\u00a0 We create this state by pairing the belief that\u00a0\nwe're safe- 'okay, I know that no one is killing me\u00a0\u00a0 right now', with mindful awareness and physical\u00a0\nself-regulation, and when we do this we perform\u00a0\u00a0 the same tasks that we previously found to be you\u00a0\nknow, exhausting and stressful, we do this instead\u00a0\u00a0 while keeping a calm body.

Now in a previous video\u00a0\nI taught you four skills that send a message from\u00a0\u00a0 your body to your brain to calm down. They are deep\u00a0\nbelly breathing, the valsalva maneuver, peripheral\u00a0\u00a0 vision, softening your gaze, and the yawn. And in\u00a0\nmy last video I taught you the shake it off skill. \u00a0\u00a0 Many of these are simple things you can do\u00a0\nthroughout your day to regulate your stress \u00a0\u00a0 even when you're facing stressful tasks.

I think\u00a0\nit's pretty cool that your phone or your smart\u00a0\u00a0 watch can also remind you throughout the day to\u00a0\ntake a deep breath or to pause or to go for a walk. \u00a0 Now all these skills can help your nervous system\u00a0\ncalm down, and it's like they're strengthening your\u00a0\u00a0 calm muscle. The more you practice, the better\u00a0\nyou'll get at getting calm. Now there are\u00a0\u00a0 lots of other activities that help stimulate\u00a0\nthe vagus nerve and its calming effects,\u00a0\u00a0 so I'm gonna teach you four more right now. \u00a0\nSo go ahead and write down your anxiety level\u00a0\u00a0 right now on a scale from zero to ten. This\u00a0\nfirst skill is an interesting one, it's called\u00a0\u00a0 the emotional freedom technique or tapping. So\u00a0\ngo ahead and just gently tap on your forehead\u00a0\u00a0 seven times, and now do that\u00a0\nagain right here next to your eye, and then right here under your eye, right here above your lip, below your lip- one two three four\u00a0\nfive six seven, your collarbone, right here under your arm, and then right here on the karate chop\u00a0\narea- one two three four five six seven.

\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, now that the activity is over, write down your\u00a0\nanxiety level again on a scale from zero to ten. \u00a0\u00a0 Now for most people, their\u00a0\nanxiety goes down a little bit. \u00a0\u00a0 Now here's the thing about this technique,\u00a0\nthere is no scientific evidence to back this up. \u00a0\u00a0 Proponents of tapping say that you're doing work\u00a0\nwith your energy or your meridians or your chi,\u00a0\u00a0 but there's really no research to back this up. \u00a0\nWhat we do know is that it tends to take the\u00a0\u00a0 anxiety level down a notch for most people. In my\u00a0\nopinion, almost anything we can do to get grounded\u00a0\u00a0 in the body can help the body remind the brain\u00a0\nthat you are safe right now, so that's why I think\u00a0\u00a0 this works for some people. Just look around your\u00a0\nroom right now, open your eyes, look beyond to the\u00a0\u00a0 screen you're looking at right now and just notice\u00a0\nyou're safe in this room.

You're okay right now. \u00a0\u00a0 This is how we calm the brain and the body. \u00a0\nOkay, number two is a lot more fun. Laughter\u00a0\u00a0 triggers that parasympathetic response. Have you\u00a0\never noticed how when someone has a near miss,\u00a0\u00a0 like they nearly get hit by a car or something,\u00a0\nthey have this instinctive laugh? That's the\u00a0\u00a0 body's way of relieving that pressure, that built\u00a0\nup fear response. So when you can, take the time to\u00a0\u00a0 laugh throughout your day. Another way to do this\u00a0\nis getting upside down, getting inverted right? \u00a0\u00a0 So you could do a headstand or you could use\u00a0\nan inversion table. What this does is this sends\u00a0\u00a0 blood to the heart, it slows down its beats, and\u00a0\nthat can trigger a relaxation response. Another\u00a0\u00a0 way to trigger that parasympathetic response is\u00a0\nwashing your face in cold water.

This triggers the\u00a0\u00a0 dive response which slows heart rate and breathing. \u00a0\nThere's a couple of other really good ways to um\u00a0\u00a0 foster that balanced nervous system, one of them\u00a0\nis monotasking right? I mean just do one thing\u00a0\u00a0 at a time. The reason this is important is because\u00a0\nyour brain perceives multitasking as a threat,\u00a0\u00a0 so whenever possible just do one thing at a time. \u00a0\nAnother thing that's helpful is mindfulness, this\u00a0\u00a0 is a big word for saying- be where you're at,\u00a0\nbe present doing what you're doing, and that's\u00a0\u00a0 because 99.9% of the time, we're actually safe, we're\u00a0\nphysically safe.

We're going to talk more about\u00a0\u00a0 this in the next video, but we have the perception\u00a0\nof danger when we don't notice where we're at. \u00a0\u00a0 Something else that's helpful in triggering\u00a0\nthat parasympathetic response is just doing one\u00a0\u00a0 slow thing a day, so stop to pet a dog, sit and\u00a0\ndrink cold water without doing anything else, just\u00a0\u00a0 one slow thing a day. You know what else\u00a0\nis good for the parasympathetic response\u00a0\u00a0 sex. Sex takes you through these natural cycles\u00a0\nof the parasympathetic response, and then the\u00a0\u00a0 sympathetic response for orgasm, and then the\u00a0\nparasympathetic system rebounds afterwards.\u00a0\u00a0 So sex can take you through these healthy cycles\u00a0\nof nervous system activation and relaxation. \u00a0\u00a0 If you want to foster a healthy nervous system\u00a0\nit's also important to pay attention to your\u00a0\u00a0 biorhythms.

That means eat when you're hungry, sleep\u00a0\nwhen you're tired, you know exercise when you feel\u00a0\u00a0 that need inside of your body. Here's another\u00a0\nreally great way to trigger that parasympathetic\u00a0\u00a0 response- hug someone you care about. So hugs\u00a0\nsend a sense of safety to the brain, which\u00a0\u00a0 then releases oxytocin, which lowers blood pressure\u00a0\nand heart rate, and turns down that stress response. \u00a0\u00a0 And stretching can also turn down that stress\u00a0\nresponse, so when we release muscle tension it\u00a0\u00a0 sends a message to our brain to calm down. \u00a0\nSo go ahead and try one of these right now.

\u00a0\u00a0 I'm gonna just do a quick stretch, my shoulders\u00a0\nget really tight, and if I do this little (exhale).. let's do the other arm (slow breaths)- ahh. Now, I hope you're\u00a0\nfeeling a little bit better. Please remember\u00a0\u00a0 from skill number five that if we try to\u00a0\nforce, control, suppress, or avoid our emotions,\u00a0\u00a0 these attempts tend to backfire. If you're feeling\u00a0\nanxious and you try to force yourself to calm down,\u00a0\u00a0 it can make you feel more anxious. So instead,\u00a0\npractice willingness, allow yourself to feel your\u00a0\u00a0 emotions and then expand your awareness to the\u00a0\ncalm and content areas that are already in your\u00a0\u00a0 body. Gently lean into these sensations of calmness\u00a0\ninstead of trying to force your anxiety to go away.

\u00a0\u00a0 You should have plenty of opportunities\u00a0\nthroughout your day to feel a little tense,\u00a0\u00a0 notice it, and actively work to soften while still\u00a0\ndoing your activity, your work or whatever it is. \u00a0\u00a0 Practice this act of self-regulation every day, it\u00a0\ntakes almost no extra time, just a little bit of\u00a0\u00a0 awareness. We should be doing self-regulation\u00a0\nevery couple of minutes throughout the day. \u00a0\u00a0 So this practice of checking in, regulating\u00a0\nyour muscles and your response, it just takes\u00a0\u00a0 a second or two to do, but if you can\u00a0\nif you do it consistently throughout\u00a0\u00a0 your day, this can completely change your\u00a0\nnervous system to be dominated by calm. \u00a0\u00a0 In the next video you're going to learn how to\u00a0\nsoothe your mind and create that felt sense of\u00a0\u00a0 safety. You're going to learn about perceived\u00a0\ndanger and actual safety. Thank you for watching\u00a0\u00a0 and take care. This video is one skill from my\u00a0\n30 skill course- How To Process Your Emotions,\u00a0\u00a0 where I teach 30 of the most essential skills for\u00a0\nresolving depression, anxiety, and improving mental\u00a0\u00a0 health. Emotion processing is an essential skill\u00a0\nfor working through intense emotions, but most\u00a0\u00a0 people have never been taught how to do it.

I'm\u00a0\nputting every single main video lesson on youtube\u00a0\u00a0 for the world to access for free. You watching\u00a0\nthese videos, sharing them, contributing to my\u00a0\u00a0 Patreon, and my sponsors make this possible. If\u00a0\nyou would like to access the entire course in\u00a0\u00a0 one place, ad free, with its workbook, exercises,\u00a0\ndownloads, extra videos, live Q&A's, additional short\u00a0\u00a0 readings, and links to extended resources, the link\u00a0\nto buy the course is in the description below. .","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I once read a story about a woman who adopted a\u00a0 stray dog that she found wandering the highway. He\u00a0\u00a0 was a sweet mutt. He was good with kids, he was\u00a0 well behaved, and he didn't make messes in the\u00a0\u00a0 house. The only downside was that every time\u00a0 they got into the car he would … Continue reading Calming Anxiety With Your Body\u2019s Built-in Anti-Anxiety Response 11\/30<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":146764,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[55319,16120,59187,40256,59190,59191,957,59192,55094,59188,59189,42229,59194,59193,43553],"class_list":["post-146761","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety","tag-anxiety-coping-skills","tag-anxiety-relief","tag-calm-anxiety","tag-calming-anxiety","tag-essential-mental-health-skills","tag-how-to-process-emotions","tag-mental-health","tag-mental-health-course","tag-parasympathetic-nervous-system","tag-soothing-anxiety","tag-soothing-anxiety-and-stress","tag-therapy-in-a-nutshell","tag-therapy-in-a-nutshell-fight-flight-freeze","tag-therapy-in-a-nutshell-trauma","tag-treating-anxiety-naturally"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/146761_maxresdefault.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/146761"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=146761"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/146761\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/146764"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=146761"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=146761"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=146761"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}