{"id":146759,"date":"2021-08-26T21:32:22","date_gmt":"2021-08-26T21:32:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/146759"},"modified":"2021-08-26T21:32:22","modified_gmt":"2021-08-26T21:32:22","slug":"the-key-to-overcoming-social-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/archives\/146759","title":{"rendered":"The Key To Overcoming Social Anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"Improvement pill here a very interesting\nstudy was conducted in 2000 at Cornell University by Professor Thomas Gilovich\nhe took groups of students and randomly selected one individual from each group\nhe then told the rest of the students to show up to a certain room at a certain\ntime to work on a quote-unquote project it's very important to note that all of\nthe seats in this room were positioned in a way so that everyone was facing the\ndoor he then took the singled out individuals purposely stalled them a bit\nand had them wear a t-shirt with a well-known person on it such as Martin\nLuther King or Bob Marley he then told that individual to go to the room\nknowing that they would be late and also knowing that all of the other students\nwould look up at the door and notice who was coming in this experiment was\nsupposed to replicate an embarrassing event the singled out individuals knew\nthat there were the only ones who were late and they were led to believe that\neveryone else noticed by the fact that everyone looked up when they walked into\nthe room after the experiment the researchers asked these embarrassed\nindividuals how many of the students do you think remembered the incidents\nvividly and on average these singled out individuals reported that 50% of all the\nother students would be able to recall the event and the shirt that they were\nwearing because well they messed up and they were absolutely sure that a large\nchunk of people in the room noticed but what the researchers actually found was\nthat only 10% of the students in that room were able to recall the event and\nthe t-shirt five times less than what our embarrassed individuals thought what\nthis experiment discovered is what's called the spotlight effect we humans\noften overestimate how much others care about our negative and also positive\nactions we think that the spotlight is on us that everyone is looking at us and\njudging us when in reality the large majority of people simply don't care and\nthis is a very very important concept that you need to internalize if you are\nstruggling with social anxiety see the main reason we feel anxious around\nothers is because we feel like they're watching us and judging us we're scared\nto act how we want to be ourselves because we don't want to risk people\nlooking down on us we don't want others to dislike us but in reality the large\nmajority of people simply don't care that much about you I know this sounds\nlike a bad thing but it's just human nature\nmost people are stuck in their own heads and are thinking about themselves not\nyou the moment you internalize this concept and genuinely start believing in\nit your levels of social anxiety will drop significantly but of course this is\nmuch easier said than done how in the world can we get ourselves to truly\ntruly believe in the spotlight effect well today I'm gonna show you a simple\ntwo-step process that I personally used to drill this concept into my own head\nstep 1 you need to become more aware of your own thoughts the large majority of\nus are oblivious to the fifty to seventy thousand thoughts that we have on\naverage every single day which is why you need to start building a mindfulness\nhabit like meditation where you try to clear your head and try to focus on one\nthing like your breathing when you build a mindfulness practice like this you\nwill become 10 times more aware of how you think and you will also start to\nnotice that the large majority of your own thoughts are about yourself past\nevents future concerns worrying about what others think that sort of stuff\nyou'll notice that less than 1% of your own thoughts will be about other people\nthat you come across randomly throughout the day step 2 once you've started\nbecoming more aware of your own thoughts you can start doing another mental\nexercise one that I like to call the swapping shoes exercise this is when you\ngo to a public place and pick out a random individual then you focus focus\nfocus and you try your hardest to imagine what's going on in their head\nimagine that you're in their shoes living their life what problems are they\ncurrently facing what are they currently worrying or stressing out about what\nsort of insecure thoughts are going on in their head what other things do you\nthink they're thinking about allow yourself to really imagine being in\ntheir shoes and also imagine what sort of thoughts are going on in their head\nby doing this exercise you will start to condition yourself to believe that\nothers spend the majority of their time thinking about their own problems and\nthemselves which is actually true the more you do this the more you will\ninternalize the spotlight effect which in turn will allow you to start feeling\nless and less social anxiety as you start to realize that people just aren't\npaying that much attention to you it might sound a bit sad to realize this\nbut in reality you'll feel a huge weight being lifted off of your shoulders you\nwill feel free this episode is sponsored by blankets oftentimes I get questions\nfrom you guys about where I get all of my ideas from and to be honest a fair\namount of them do come from books the problem is that sometimes it can be hard\nto find time to sit down and read which is why I recommend\nkist Linkous takes the key teachings from thousands of non-fiction books and\nconvinces them into 15-minute snippets that you can read or even listen to that\nway you don't have to read the entire book in order to extract the lessons I\nuse blankets whenever I need to quickly learn more about a subject for example\njust the other day I was doing some research on the subject of psychology\ntrying to find some new ideas the problem was that there are literally\ndozens of books published every year about psychology it would have taken me\nforever to manually go through each of these books but because I have plinkus I\nwas able to quickly learn a lot about many interesting psychology concepts\nfrom great books such as truth by Hector McDonald life lessons from a brain\nsurgeon by rahul jandial and childhood disrupted by donna\nnakazawa all of which i recommend you guys to check out the first 100 people\nto go to WWE is calm Ford \/ improvement pill will get unlimited access to try\nout blink is for an entire week you'll also get 25% off if you want a full\nmembership you can cancel at any time if you want to help support the channel\nthis is one of the best ways to do so just check it out\nbesides that guys stay tuned","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Improvement pill here a very interesting study was conducted in 2000 at Cornell University by Professor Thomas Gilovich he took groups of students and randomly selected one individual from each group he then told the rest of the students to show up to a certain room at a certain time to work on a quote-unquote … Continue reading The Key To Overcoming Social Anxiety<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":146763,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[59169,59181,59175,59179,59185,39621,41233,59177,59186,59184,41220,52750,57,59174,38161,37517,37930,59172],"class_list":["post-146759","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety","tag-how-i-overcame-social-anxiety","tag-how-to-beat-social-anxiety","tag-how-to-cure-social-anxiety","tag-how-to-deal-with-social-anxiety","tag-how-to-get-over-social-anxiety","tag-how-to-overcome-anxiety","tag-how-to-overcome-social-anxiety","tag-how-to-reduce-social-anxiety","tag-improvement-pill","tag-overcome-shyness","tag-overcome-social-anxiety","tag-overcoming-social-anxiety","tag-social-anxiety","tag-social-anxiety-cure","tag-social-anxiety-disorder","tag-social-anxiety-treatment","tag-social-phobia","tag-tips-to-overcome-social-anxiety"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/146759_maxresdefault.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/146759"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=146759"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/146759\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/146763"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=146759"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=146759"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/effectsofanxiety.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=146759"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}